T'was the night before Christmas and all through Vought Tower tower; not a creature was stirring except for the Deep being dressed down by his spouse.
Homelander with his hearing heard the sleigh bells ringing and something landing on the roof. He was upset by being mistaken this late in the hour as there is a big live Christmas special for Vought being hosted by Cameron Coleman that he would have to be the biggest special guest for. He was not in the mood for this and would take care of this quickly.
He flew up to the snow filled roof and was met with a sleigh with actual reindeer and a grumpy looking Santa Claus with some sort of fancy long handled hammer. "Homelander... This is a long time coming... I checked my list twice... You and your 'superheroes' have been topping my Naughty List for too long... I am gonna tell you now that tonight... Nicomund the Red lives again with Skullcrusher and you will wish that you were dealing with the Krampus..." Santa told him and Homelander just looked so done with it.
"Is this a joke... Butcher put you up to this... Whatever... I am not gonna play games..." Homelander muttered looking just impatient and bored as Santa lunged forward with fury as he used Skullcrusher to then swing at his knees.
Homelander's eyes widened as he screamed in pain as he felt his knees absoultely destroyed as he was sent to the ground and Santa was relentless. Skull caved in and he cute the Homelander open to see the heart that he ripped out. "What do you know... It is 3 sizes too small..." Santa muttered looking amused as one of his reindeer looked at him. "You need to do your business Prancer? Feel free to use this as your toilet as I have a creepy fish guy to visit now..." Santa told him as he whistled to himself.
The lair of the Boys and Butcher woke up as he saw the Boys awake and watching the news. "What are you doing... It's far too early for that pish..." Butcher muttered as he opened up his eyes but then they dragged him forward. He was about to ask about the deal but then the reporters were talking about the Christmas Massacre with the majority of the superheroes of Vought were massacred at night with the only descriptions was a man dressed as Santa. Their corpses being found showed that the murderer made sure that they felt as much pain as possible and their corpses were filled with coal.
Vought's Christmas special with millions of dollars sunk into it with sponsors where cancelled and the Deep's wife talked about having gone for a drink and found her husband's body with all reproductive organs removed. Homelander himself was found with his heart removed.
"What... A rogue Supe? Had to be as strong as Soldier Boy or something..." Mother's Milk muttered as Butcher then noticed besides his bed was a stocking that he didn't put up and it was leaking blood. He grabbed it and went in and pulled out a heart which made Hughie and Annie to run to throw up in the corner.
Butcher's eyes widened as he remembered the news report and started laughing maniacally; "God bless us; everyone..." Butcher thundered out excitedly.
Hope you all will have a good Christmas and if you don't celebrate then I hope you all have a good day regardless. In case you haven't figured it out; Santa here is the one from Violent Night a rather fun movie from the writers of the Sonic movie that has not only funny scenes and cool action scenes but more heart and optimism than you would expect the usual adult oriented Christmas comedies. Santa here had an easier time fighting than he did in the movie against the bad guys there since here he went there prepared for a fight while in the movie he was taken off guard when it was supposed to be a routine stop while he did his job. Plus I was thinking of a chapter with a series of crack vignettes not to be taken seriously and so far I have in mind Ace from Doctor Who and the wrestler Goldberg.
In case you didn't know yesterday was my Birthday and besides being at my last group trip as part of something that I do mostly every week; I also saw the first episode of the 2nd season of What If which is daily episodes and I managed to read through a bit of sophisticated reading... Rather a Garfield comic strip collection book that my youngest brother got me. But if you want some fun dark Christmas reading then I highly recommend the Die Hard storybook which is a retelling of the movie as a children's story book but with swearing and stuff.