Pride and Prejudice FF

Bennet's Revenge

(Rewrite)

Andrea was comfortable lounging in her friend's backyard swimming pool, oblivious to any obligations and cares of the world. She was unfettered by work obligations and happily ignoring voices in her head. Well, that was until Tauna began ranting so loudly through one of the open windows that it disturbed Andrea's peaceful mini-vacation. Therefore, Andrea shouted very loudly.

"On this glorious and wonderful day, when I have no pressing obligations, errands or duties of any kind to attend to, I am taking full advantage of the opportunity and have indulged myself in the blissful sensation of basking in the warmth of this strange and odd thing called the sun. I am feeling its light rays enveloping, soothing and caressing my skin as they fill me with a sense of relaxation, as I am enjoying the very rare opportunity of having a day off from work. Can you not turn your volume down!"

"Uh? What did you just say?" Tauna stepped out onto the porch of their mutual friend's home, stopping momentarily her rant. "Other than turning down my volume."

"I am enjoying my day off, and you are disturbing it."

"Why didn't you just say so?" Tauna asked, pretending ignorance to her sister's spoken words.

"So, what has gotten you so riled?" Andrea figured she might as well get out of the pool and ask, not bothering to answer such a nonsensical question.

"No matter what I use, or where I am, I cannot write even though I have plenty of ideas."

"What is the big deal? We all go through that."

"No, not writer's block. Come see what I mean." Tauna practically dragged Andrea into a kitchen that might as well have been hers for as much time as she spent in it. And besides, the layout was so similar that it felt as if it were her own home. What she saw had her instantly biting her lip. However, she managed to throw up the fourth wall and keep her mouth flat, any twinkling eye hidden and no sound of bubbling laughter breaking past her lip.

"See, this computer's keys will not go down." Tauna tried to press the keyboard, but they did not budge. It did not help that Charlotte Collins had a baking sheet over the keyboard. "And this computer's switch will not budge." Again, Andrea had to fight to keep her eyes from twinkling as Mr. Bennet's hand was laid flat over the switch.

"You could also use a pencil and paper?" Andrea suggested, even as she had to swallow giggles as she saw Jane, Elizabeth and the rest of their sisters hiding all the pencil sharpeners in the pockets of their dresses. It did not help that even the mechanical pencils' lead was being shoved into Mr. Collins' pockets, along with those of the Philips and the Gardiners.

"What about your laptop or even erasable pens?" Andrea pretended that was a possibility when Tauna threw up her hands over being unable to find any usable pens or pencils.

"Yeah, right. I cannot even find its cord. Now what am I supposed to do?"

Andrea, who as a joke had bought an AI and labeled it A WRITER'S GPS, knew instantly that Tauna had been messing around with Pride and Prejudice again and that Mr. Bennet and the rest were not putting up with it. And that Lady Catherine was now going to give her an order, for she reached up to the 'contraption' and the WRITER'S GPS started repeating over and over:

REWRITE REWRITE REWRITE! It was then Andrea lost it, sunk into chair and began shaking with full-blown laughter; Tauna was not impressed.

(*Tauna Petit-Strawn came up with the riddle/joke ... what does a writer's GPS say? (answer..rewrite rewrite rewrite) and asked me to write a short story around it, so it got put into Andrea's kitchen)