Chapter
Arizona walked up the ramp to her old front door, carrying her suitcase. As she approached Callie was their opening the door.
"Is that all your stuff?" she asked, Arizona nodded.
"I don't need much, I just need you and Sofia to be happy" Arizona replied, Callie smiled but tilting her head. It was a nice speech, but she had seen Arizona's shoe collection, one leg or not they didn't all fit into that tiny case. "Okay fine, Alex is bringing the rest in his truck".
"It was a nice speech though". Callie praised, "you've always been good at speeches."
"Mommy" Sofia gushed running over,
"Sofia" Arizona greeted, picking her daughter up hugging her tightly, every time she saw her daughter, she hated herself slightly for ever trying to end her life, missing out on her life.
"Welcome home" Callie said happily, "we missed you". She opened her arms, Arizona falling into them,
"I missed you too, both of you" Arizona said sincerely, taking a moment to reflect on the last 2 months. After trying to kill herself and only a miracle stopping it she'd been an inpatient for 2 weeks at a psychiatric ward before being discharged, staying with none other than Miranda Bailey and Ben Warren. They had been the perfect hosts giving her space but letting her talk when she needed to. Arizona knew she owed Miranda so much she could never hope to repay it.
Even at work Miranda had been amazing, assigning her Jo Wilson to assist, the young resident was a huge help to her workload, if Arizona had her way she'd end up becoming double board certified, in fetal medicine and either Pead's, Gynae or General surgery.
It had been awkward going back, she'd been convinced everyone was going to hate her. The first person she saw had been Meredith who'd given her a huge hug, confiding she had been in a similar dark place once, that she too fought the demons each day trying to survive. Meredith had then escorted her to the attendings lounge glaring at anyone who stared for too long. Once there Alex had hugged her tightly,
"Never do that again, I can't lose my sister" he had said fiercely. "Seriously, I love you Robbins, if anything happened…." Alex trailed off, biting his tongue, for a moment Arizona thought he might cry, before he gathered himself. "The world would be a much worse place without you in it" he said seriously. Arizona nodded crying into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry" she apologized to both. "I didn't think anyone would care, I thought I'd be doing you a favor" she said honestly.
"Never, you are never a bother," Alex said, Meredith nodding,
"And I'm already so dark and twisty nothing you say will shock me" she offered, "I was there, I know how bad it go, we need to stick together. I still have the nightmares" Meredith confessed, "and I know Derek and Cristina do too."
"Me too" Arizona whispered back, feeling relieved at least a few people understood.
Reflecting back now everyone had been surprisingly supportive, and several had had their own battles with mental health. Derek Shepard had considered it when he lost the function in his hand, Meredith, Richard, Owen, Cristina and even Jackson. It said a lot about the pressure surgeons were under when so many of them had considered it.
It meant that an extra counsellor had been brought it, with all attendings, residents and interns having appointments.
Callie had been there, as soon she stepped out the attending lounge, glaring at anyone who stared at her too long. The attendings and residents had rallied, all day there was someone close, while Arizona would have thought it would be suffocating, she'd found it supportive. Even Cristina had come over hugging her, a very uncharacteristic thing,
"What you did was stupid, I'm so glad you failed. Your perkiness makes life better, even for me. Grey Sloan wouldn't be the same without Rollagirl" Cristina joked.
"Well, I don't do that anymore" Arizona reflected with a hollow laugh,
"Yeah" Cristina said,
"Wait, does every attending have one?" Arizona asked, she only knew about McSteamy and McDreamy,
"Yeah, there not all Mc names, I mean you have, Nazi, Medusa, Evil Spawn, ortho Goddess, McDreamy, Virgin Mary, plastic pose, Twisted sisters, GI Joe and Jane, and I'm Cardio God. "
Arizona smiled, they were nothing but creative, she noticed Callie walking over. Instinctively she felt her heart race, Callie looked beautiful in her navy-blue surgical scrubs, her scrub cap, her smile was radiant.
"Hey, lunch?" Callie asked, Arizona nodded eagerly, she missed lunch so much with Callie, and just spending time with her.
They walked down to the canteen, nearly every attending was there, showing their support and it hadn't just been one day. Arizona had never felt so loved.
Especially now, sitting on the breakfast bar watching Callie teaching Sofia to cook, she struggled to believe she had ever wanted to miss this, miss her daughter growing up, and miss a second chance with the love of her life.
That night, her first night at home with her family Arizona sat on the bed exhausted. The emotions today were a lot. Callie entered the bedroom nervously, she'd been trying to be patient, but it was hard, she was so familiar with Arizona, going slow had been painful but she'd do anything for her.
"Hey you" she said, closing the door,
"Hey," Arizona replied, rubbing her leg, "can you help?" she asked nervously, gesturing at her leg, Callie nodded, gently kneeling in front of her removing the leg inspecting the site.
"You've lost weight, its rubbing, I can adjust the padding if you want…." Callie offered hesitantly; her previous offers of help hadn't always been received favorably.
"Thank you" Arizona said trusting Callie to look after her stump, to look after her. The gesture wasn't lost on Callie. Arizona never let anyone touch it, not unless she had to, so her asking for it was her trying to prove she had changed. Carefully Callie began massaging the stump, her eyes not leaving Arizona's.
"That feels amazing" Arizona sighed. "Can I hold you, just for tonight?" she asked Callie nervously, not wanting to overstep,
"I'd love that" Callie admitted, "I miss sleeping next to you" she confessed.
"I missed that too" Arizona agreed.
"Arizona, I don't know if I ever said it but I forgive you" Callie said, surprised by the quietness of Arizona, worriedly she turned around noticing Arizona was sobbing. "Arizona?" she questioned worriedly, gently stroking her arm,
"I never thought…" Arizona began, "how can you?" she asked sounding lost.
"I love you" Callie replied simply, "And I know you cheated, and that broke me, but I also know I need you in my life. You are my other half in the best sense of the word, you complete me, and I see you getting help and I want to be part of that journey, I want my life back" Callie cried. To her surprise Arizona tensed,
"What if I can't be her anymore?" Arizona asked nervously, worried that Callie was only in love with the perky person she had used to be, the old Arizona had woken up happy and smiling, these days a smile took all her energy.
"I don't care, I already love this new Arizona, she might not be super perky, but she lets me look after her, she shares her concerns and realizes being a good man doesn't mean bottling everything up. I love you" Callie said.
"You really still like me? Even though I'm dark, and twisty."
"I do"
"Even though I have PTSD and depression".
"I do"
"Even though I only have one leg?" Arizona asked anxiously,
"It was a wonderful leg, but I didn't marry you for your left leg" Callie joked, tensing as she hoped her remark was taken with humor. To her surprise Arizona began laughing, Callie joined in and soon they were both hysterically laughing,
"When you put it like that it sounds so stupid" Arizona gasped, struggling to breathe between her laughter. Her trauma, her body issues bolied down to that, Callie loved her, not her leg,
"No, you've never been stupid" Callie said seriously.
"I love you" Arizona said seriously. "Forever and always,"
"Forever and always" Callie agreed.
It was a month later Arizona led Callie and Sofia from the car park into the small café, that sat on a mountain road in the middle of the Washington Forrest.
"Nanna, meet my wife Callie and my daughter Sofia" Arizona said proudly, the elderly woman spun around, recognizing the blonde, who was looking so much better, healthier, and had a smile that made her dimples pop.
"Arizona" she greeted, hugging her tightly,
"Thank you" Arizona said sincerely, "thank you for saving my life, for giving me hope" she whispered,
"No problem, thank you for coming back, and bringing this delight," she said patting Sofias' head. "I have pie, go have a seat, Maria, bring pie please for our guests" she ordered.
Maria brought out the pie grinning as she recognized Arizona,
"it is good to see you back and looking so well" she said honestly, sitting down next to Callie, with 3 huge slices of pie. Nanna was next to Arizona, with Sofia resting on Arizona's lap.
"I can't thank you enough, Ant and you both saved my life"
"Thank you for saving my mommy" Sofia agreed, shyly passing her thank you picture over. Arizona had explained that when her head was poorly the people were going to meet had helped her feel better.
"You are welcome and wow, what an amazing picture," Nanna said holding it up. Arizona and Callie nodded their agreement, to them Sofia was the best 6 year old artist ever.
"Thank you" Sofia blushed. "It Mamma, mommy and me, mommy helped me with the letters"
"I will treasure it, now eat, you must be starved." Nanna ordered, obediently Callie took a bite,
"Wow, this pie is amazing" Callie gushed, "try it" she urged Arizona, Arizona did so,
"Wow, Nanna, Marie, this pie is incredible."
"I know, we've won a lot of competitions. Our pie is an old family recipe."
"Seriously, I want to thank you, I want to do something, you were so kind and Ant too" Arizona begged.
"My dear, you came back and you are healthy, that is thanks enough" Nanna reassured, "the best thing you can do is to live your life, to make yourself and your family happy, that would be enough for us"
"And maybe a Christmas card" Maria added, Arizona nodded. She could do that, she would live for them, for Callie and Sofia, but most importantly for herself.
The end
I hoped you liked it, i hoped i did it justice,