Welp, poor Fallon. Enjoy?
Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, smoking, mention of past drug use, depression, etc.
"So, how long has it been?"
I glared at Dr. Daniel Anderson, knowing that he knew and he just wanted to hear me say it. "Almost ten months."
"You sound upset."
My frown deepened as I glanced at the window. "He's done it before. It's not a surprise."
"When he was mourning Donna, yes?"
I grunted. "He was off doing reckless things to take his mind off it. This doesn't make sense though. He's the one who wanted me to stay and he was already taking trips with Amy. I know he gets distracted easily and his driving isn't the greatest but he'd seemed so intent on me staying… I don't know. It's stupid."
"It's really not," Daniel replied. "You've been abandoned and betrayed before. You've lost people close to you. So, when he goes and disappears for months or years after saying he'd come back or he wanted you to stay, you get angry and upset because you fear him leaving you for good."
I gave him a small glance. "You know I hate it when you break it down like that."
He smiled. "I'm your psychiatrist. I'm supposed to break things down to help you understand what you're feeling and why. So, what are you going to do about this?"
He gestured to the blue envelope on the table that I'd brought in and I scowled.
"I should burn it."
"Because you know the Doctor sent it?"
"Because he's perfectly capable of coming to me and telling me something or picking me up but instead he sent me a letter."
"Perhaps there's a reason why he can't come. You shouldn't assume things without talking to him. It's asking for a misunderstanding, you know."
"Doesn't mean I can't be angry about it," I argued and he hummed.
"You're more than welcome to be angry. I'm simply suggesting you withhold that anger until you know why you were sent a letter. Anything else you wish to discuss? How's the medication working for you?"
"Fine," I replied with a light sigh, sagging into the armchair and waving my hand. "I can sleep well even on the rare occasion I don't have them and the new antidepressants aren't giving me the same side effects as the last ones."
"Good. We will stick with them then. Do continue to take them regularly. Have you had any more nightmares? Panic attacks?"
"No panic attacks but I'll hardly be triggered by one while going to the grocery store. Nightmares aren't as often with the meds. I still get the occasional few but they're…" I frowned lightly. "Blurry. They're definitely different."
"Different how?"
I hummed, trying to think of how to explain. "They're memories but usually there's a theme to the whole thing. Like if I had seen someone get shot I would have nightmares about shooting or being shot. These ones are just… blank. I'll be in my house reading and will get this feeling of being watched. Then, I'll suddenly be standing with a knife or a gun, look down and there's—"
I cut myself off, an image forming in my mind for half a second before it was gone.
"There's?" Daniel asked.
"I… I don't know. It's like it was there but then gone. A blank space like I can't remember something. Something important, obviously, but I should remember killing someone, shouldn't I?"
"You've lived a long life. You've admitted to doing things you wish you wouldn't have done, like with General Cobbs. It could just be your mind blocking it out."
"But it's not in my memoirs either," I pressed. "I've looked. I find something that sounds just like the nightmare but it's blank too. Like I forget what I was writing down midway through. It's weird. I've not had that happen before."
"Never?"
"Never," I repeated and even he started to frown in confusion.
"Then, perhaps there's something we're missing. I'm not sure how to help with that other than the usual."
"Can't talk to the Doctor if he doesn't answer his phone or show up," I huffed as he cracked a smile.
"I'm sure he'll realize he needs to get you soon. And again, I recommend no hitting or full arguments until you've let him get some words out."
"I'll think about it," I grumbled.
"On a lighter note, how have things been at home? I know you mentioned getting back into some old hobbies, getting in shape, maybe traveling a bit. You went to Africa recently. How was that?"
"It was good. Went to Cape Town to rock climb the Rocklands, had some good food, did some safari treks, that sort of thing. Might do Australia next. Go check out the zoo, dive with Great Whites, surf a bit, and maybe camp out in the desert. I've, uh…" I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. "I've gotten back into painting a bit. Never been great at it, I don't think, but it gives me something to do. Oh, and building terrariums. I've got about a dozen spread through the house now. Easy to care for and can be left alone for ages if it's done right. My cleaner knows about them though. Can mist them if I'm gone for a while."
"That's good. Bit of everything then. I'm glad you're getting out and doing things again. Just out of curiosity, have you tried going out and making some friends?"
I glanced away awkwardly and he sighed lightly.
"I know it's hard for you with everything that's going on but I think it would be good for you to get to know people outside of the Doctor and his companions. Even if it's only a temporary friendship or just a bit of fun with some strangers for a few days. Maybe join a group tour the next time you travel and get to know people that way. You don't even have to tell them anything about yourself if you're not comfortable."
I grumbled but knew he wouldn't give in until I said something. "Fine. I'll look into it."
"That's all I ask. Now, I suggest you get going if you're going to make it on time for your invitation," he said, nodding to the letter as I scowled.
"Don't know if I want to go now," I complained, though we both knew I didn't mean it.
"Stay safe," he replied with a small wave. "Let me know if you won't be around for some time so I can adjust my schedule."
I waved back at him from over my shoulder and stepped out, looking back at the letter in my hands with a frown. Begrudgingly, I checked the coordinates written on it and looked up directions as I stopped in front of the new black and red Kawasaki motorcycle I'd purchased a few months back.
"I better pack a bag," I grumbled, shaking my head, pulling on my helmet, and returning home before I would be heading off to Lake Silencio, Utah to see whatever the hell the Doctor had been so distracted by.
"This is it, yeah? The right place?" Amy questioned as she and Rory got off a bus carrying packs just in case they'd end up hiking a bit or camping out.
"Nowhere, middle of? Yeah, this is it," Rory scoffed as the bus pulled away to reveal a familiar face lounging on the top of a 1959 Edsel Villager.
"Howdy," the Doctor chirped, making them turn around.
"Doctor!"
"Haha! It's the Ponds!" The Doctor cheered as they crossed the road and he climbed off the car to hug them. "Hello, Pond. Come here."
"So, someone's been a busy boy then, eh?" Amy teased, given they'd seen several papers telling about his jaunts through history.
"Did you see me?"
"Of course."
"Stalker."
"Flirt."
"Husband," Rory spoke up. "Speaking of, where's Fallon?"
"Rory the Roman!" The Doctor cheered, ignoring his question on purpose as he hugged him too. "Ooh, come here."
"Hey, nice hat," Rory complimented and the Doctor smirked.
"I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool."
A gunshot went off then, knocking it off his head and sending the three of them whipping around to see a smirking River.
"Hello, Sweetie."
"River, nice to see you!" The Doctor grinned, heading over only for River to raise a brow; using a finger to hold him back as she glanced at the group.
"Yeah, where's the clever one? She not with you?"
Knowing River wouldn't be as easy to deter as Rory, the Doctor shuffled awkwardly on his feet.
"Right, yes, Fallon. There was some… um, complications and—" He paused, brows furrowing as a low rumbling was heard. "Is that my stomach or…"
"Incoming," River hummed, pulling him out of the road as a motorcycle approached and stopped before them.
The rider turned the bike off, kicking down the kickstand with a heavy black boot before getting off and approaching. They reached up to take off their helmet and set it down on top of their seat as they turned to glare at the Doctor.
"F-Fallon!" The Doctor said with an awkward grin, holding up his hands in a welcoming gesture. "You look… different."
Her scowl deepened as she ran her hand through her white and grey-dyed hair; longer now and swept off to the right side of her face revealing a darker shaved undercut on the left. She was wearing jeans, a thin white shirt, and a leather jacket for protection from the sun and road which wasn't entirely different from how she usually dressed but there was something different about the way she held herself that had the Doctor both happy for her and a little on edge. Her stepping right up to him didn't help that.
"Fallon, lovely to see you. Um, you've met River, right? Remember River?" He questioned awkwardly, drawing her gaze to River who smirked.
"Love the hair," she hummed, making Fallon nod.
"Nice holster."
River's smirk grew and being uncomfortable with the flirting, the Doctor decided to step between them and offered a grimace of a smile to Fallon; digging his own grave, as it were.
"So! It's been a while. How have things been with you?"
"A while?" Fallon said coldly, working her jaw for a moment. "Sorry, a while? It's been almost a year, Doctor."
"Has it?" He questioned with a wince, awkwardly glancing away. "W-Well, you know how time can be all finicky and such. You said you needed some space so—"
"You were the one trying to get me to stay," Fallon pressed, taking a threatening step toward him as he held up his hands. "I half expected you to walk through my door every week with how adamant you were for me to stick around. Instead, months go by and I don't hear a damn thing! No phone calls, no checking in, nothing! I even tried calling you!"
"Did you?" He questioned, surprised before her glare hardened and he took a half step back. "Right! Perfectly reasonable explanation for that."
"A perfectly reasonable explanation for ditching me for a year with no contact until you pop a damn letter through the post?" Fallon argued, storming toward him as he stumbled back away cautiously. "I have half a mind to knock you into your next regeneration if it wouldn't get me into trouble with my therapist."
"Right! Therapy! How is that going?" He sidetracked, which had Fallon growling and nearly tackling the man to the ground if Amy hadn't grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Calm down, Fallon," Amy chided as the woman restrained herself from pulling free of Amy's grip begrudgingly. "Now, we all know the Doctor is an idiot but I'm sure he feels terrible for leaving you for as long as he did, right, Doctor?"
The Doctor took a second to catch the hint before nodding. "Yes! Yes, absolutely terrible! Right misery, I was with all the… the, um…"
"I'm going to kill him," Fallon threatened, starting back toward him as he ducked behind the hood of the car to hide and Rory helped Amy grab hold of her.
"Fallon, you can't just go around hitting people," he lightly complained. "Even if we'd like to… a lot."
Fallon turned to him, ready to argue when she froze. The group waited for half a second before Rory spoke up.
"You… You alright?"
The Doctor peeked over the hood of the car before seeing what the problem was and a small "Oh," escaped him, drawing Fallon's gaze to him.
"Yes, right. You, um… You may have missed a lot," he explained rather poorly. "You see, you left when Amy didn't have her memories and then there was this thing that happened. There was a huge box, part of some myth and there were aliens! And Romans! Lots of complex time things and—"
"Rory's alive," Fallon muttered, turning to look back at the confused nurse who lifted a hand in a wave.
"Hello."
Her mouth opened, then closed, and then she turned to Amy. "And you remember him?"
"Sure do," Amy hummed, before tossing a thumb over at the Doctor. "Did he really not say anything? For a year? You thought Rory was dead for a year?"
Fallon nodded and Amy scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.
"Yeah, sod that. You can hit him."
"Amy!" Rory scolded, letting Fallon go. "You can't just tell her to hit people."
"Speaking of," Fallon said before slapping Rory across the face.
He stared in shock, bringing a hand up to his cheek as she frowned and pointed a firm finger at him.
"That is for doing the stupid thing of jumping in front of a bullet for a goddamn immortal, you big, blundering idiot."
He went to say something before she suddenly wrapped her arms around him in a hug, confusing him and making the rest of the group stare in shock.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she murmured as he awkwardly reached around and pat her back before she abruptly pulled away; hands on his arms. "But if you do that shit again, I'll use your corpse in a satanic ritual, bring you back to life, and kill you myself. Got it?"
"Y-Yup. Got it. Hundred percent. Mhm," Rory frantically appeased as the Doctor headed back over, adjusting his bowtie.
"Well then, now that that's taken care of—"
He was abruptly hit in the gut, making him double over and choke on air as Fallon glared down at him.
"That is for a year."
"R-Right. S-Sorry. Won't happen… a-again, probably."
Fallon huffed, folding her arms over her chest and looking at the others. "So, what is happening and why am I here?"
"Right then, where are we?" River asked the Doctor as she flipped through her diary. "Have we done Easter Island yet?"
"Uh, yes! I've got Easter Island," the Doctor replied, checking his own notes as Amy, Rory, and Fallon waited for their meals from the man running the diner they'd agreed to step into.
"They worshiped you there. Have you seen the statues?"
"Jim the fish," the Doctor added.
"Oh! Jim the fish. How is he?"
"Still building his dam," he said, sliding over so Amy could sit beside him while Rory slid into the booth beside River and Fallon dragged over a chair.
She sat at the end of the table, digging into a burger and not looking at the Doctor at all as he pouted.
"Sorry," Rory interrupted. "What are you two doing?"
"They're both time travelers, so they never meet in the right order. They're syncing their diaries," Amy explained before nudging the Doctor. "So, what's happening, then? Because you've been up to something."
"I've been running, faster than I've ever run. And I've been running my whole life. Now, it's time for me to stop. And tonight, I'm going to need you all with me," he explained, glancing over at Fallon who had stopped eating for a second to eye him before resuming.
"Okay. We're here. What's up?" Amy offered.
"A picnic. And then a trip. Somewhere different. Somewhere brand new."
"Where?"
"Space, 1969. Come on then! Chop, chop. I've got everything we need in the car."
The group got up and followed him out, but Fallon grabbed his arm to stop him at the door.
"Something's wrong," she said seriously, eyeing him with a frown.
"Well, a lot of things are wrong. You're going to need to be more specific," he lightly joked, though the humor was lacking.
"With you," she pressed, letting him go. "How long were you gone?"
He offered her a small, sad smile and turned away. "Come on. The others are waiting."
Fallon's frown deepened and that warning Daniel had given her echoed in her mind.
"…at some point, something will happen that you will want answers for and he might not be willing to give them."
With those words weighing heavily in her heart, she followed him to the car but climbed onto her motorcycle to follow him. She didn't want to be in there while knowing that he was hiding something. She needed to think about how to confront him without… well, confronting him and something told her that this picnic wasn't going to help.
"Salud!" The Doctor toasted once they were all settled on a blanket with some wine at the side of a lake.
The others toasted back, clinking their glasses, though I didn't drink and just sat near the edge of the blanket eyeing the Doctor. I didn't like this at all. The whole thing felt wrong and reminded me eerily of when his last self had run off after mourning Donna. Except, he's not running to forget anymore. He's reached the end of something and realized he needs to face it, but face what? What isn't he telling me? My gaze drifted to the bottle of wine, wishing for something stronger that I could down quickly to settle the uncomfortable feelings in my gut but I stayed away from it. I might need to drive later for one, and Daniel had warned me about using various substances as coping mechanisms not being the best thing for me; immortal or not.
"So, when are we going to 1969?" Rory asked.
"And since when do you drink wine?" Amy questioned as well.
"I'm eleven hundred and three. I must've drunk it some time," he huffed, sipping some from the bottle and immediately spitting it out into the sand. "Oh, why it's horrid. I thought it would taste more like the gums."
"Eleven hundred and three," I muttered, drawing his attention to me before he shamefully looked away and Amy picked up on that.
"You were nine hundred and eight the last time we saw you."
"And you've put on a couple of pounds," the Doctor grumbled. "I wasn't going to mention it."
A chill ran up my spine then; an uneasy feeling of being watched before Amy muttered something.
"Who's that?"
"Hm?" Rory questioned her. "Who's who?"
"Sorry, what?" Amy asked, as though forgetting she'd said something in the first place.
"What did you see? You said you saw something."
"No, I didn't."
It reminded me of the angel in her eye when she was counting down, and that uneasy feeling grew worse, drawing my gaze out across the landscape in search of what she might have seen. The Doctor though, brushed it off, almost distracting us.
"Ah, the moon. Look at it. Of course, you lot did a lot more than look, didn't you? Big, silvery thing in the sky. You couldn't resist it. Quite right."
"The moon landing was in '69. Is that where we're going?" Rory pointed out.
"No. A lot more happens in '69 than anyone remembers. Human beings. I thought I'd never get done saving you."
I didn't like how he worded that for multiple reasons. Something happens in '69 that we don't remember. I was here on Earth. I should remember something happening but I don't know what to be looking for in my memories. I paused though, something nagging in the back of my mind. Wait… 1969… Wasn't I looking in my memoirs around that time? For… For my nightmares. That thing I keep forgetting in my nightmares. I frowned down at the sand as I tried to remember what it was but it kept slipping through my fingers, so I brushed it off and thought about the other thing that bothered me with what the Doctor said.
"I thought I'd never get done saving you."
Past tense. The words "I thought" like… like he's finished somehow. He's done saving the human race but the Doctor would never… I heard the rumble of a car, distracting me from my thoughts as the Doctor stood and waved to the man who got out of it.
"Who's he?" Amy asked.
"Oh, my God," River breathed then, making us all get to our feet and see the astronaut figure standing just at the edge of the lake.
"You all need to stay back," the Doctor said then, voice tight. "Whatever happens now, you do not interfere. Clear?"
I refused, moving over and grabbing him again. "Doctor, what is going on? You have to explain this because I'm not understanding what is happening, what you're trying to do. You're talking like you're…"
I didn't want to say dying, but that's what it felt like. It felt like he had been running from his death and now he was giving up. It sounded like this was his last goodbyes to us, his last meal, his last moment with the people he cared about who supported him in all of his decisions. It made a rock settle in my gut when he didn't look at me, didn't refuse what I was hinting at. My grip tightened on his arm.
"Doctor, please just talk to me," I muttered. "Tell me we can do something. Tell me I'm wrong because if I'm not—"
"Fallon," he said, voice calm but lacking any hint of emotion that might lead me to understand what was going on. "I need to do this alone and you need to stay here, understand?"
"No. No, I don't—"
"Fallon," he snapped, voice sharp as he glanced at me in annoyance, making me let him go. "I mean it. Don't get involved."
It felt like a slap to the face as he walked away to face the astronaut. I grit my teeth, angry and feeling the hint of fear trickle through me as well as I turned away and started to storm off. River grabbed me though, preventing me from getting very far.
"Fallon, what's going on?"
"I don't know," I spat heatedly. "He's not telling me anything and I don't—"
I ground my teeth so tight it hurt, bringing a hand up to my jaw and turning to look back at where the Doctor was before the astronaut shot him. My eyes went wide and Amy cried out in shock, starting to run toward them. River and Rory grabbed her but they couldn't grab me as I took off down the beach; heart racing. A second shot was fired and I saw the gold shimmering on the Doctor's skin as I called out.
"Doctor!"
He turned toward me for a half second, apologizing before stretching his hands out to regenerate. I was nearly there, so very close when a third shot was fired. My chest burned and my feet fumbled into the sand; barely recognizing the astronaut had fired at me. I didn't matter though.
"Doct—"
A fourth shot sent him to the ground and the golden glow of regeneration energy vanished instantly, making my body grow cold. The others were running over as I fell to my knees beside his body. I was dying, nearly dead already as black encroached in my vision but I needed to know. My shoulder hit the ground next as my breath choked in my lungs and Rory grabbed my hand with worried eyes; checking my pulse.
"Her heart—"
"What about the Doctor? Fallon will come back but the Doctor—"
Their voices swam in my mind before more gunshots went off. River, my mind sluggishly supplied as I weakly grasped at the Doctor's shirt. My eyes closed as my breath faded and a tear slipped down my face because I couldn't feel it. The Doctor's heartbeat.
The Doctor was dead.
Fallon had woken up far too early and far too soon after a death like that one. Her whole body throbbed and her insides felt as though they were still being shocked by the gun that had hit her. She didn't care though. She had to make sure and when she'd carefully pushed herself up off the sand to see the boat Rory and River were dragging over and the still body of the Doctor that Amy was sobbing over; that sinking feeling in her chest grew ten-fold.
She stared down at the Doctor's pale face and unmoving corpse, not really seeing him for a moment before clenching her teeth tight. Heat and pressure welled up behind her eyes before she abruptly turned away from him and stood. She faltered, sinking to a knee before trying again; shoving everything she wanted to do and feel back into her mind. She was angry, upset, and devastated but all that could wait because this was planned and… and he was her responsibility. She headed over to where River and Rory were struggling with the boat and grabbed it, startling them.
"Fallon," Rory breathed, but she didn't answer as she pulled the boat along.
He and River had let go of it in their shock and uncertainty before helping her get it to the shore near the Doctor. River went to say something to Fallon but the woman spoke first.
"I want to do it," she said seriously and River begrudgingly closed her mouth and nodded.
Rory looked between them in uncertainty but River took his hand and nudged him toward Amy to comfort her as Fallon went over to the Doctor's body. Rory took hold of Amy's shoulders and the woman protested but Fallon wasted no time in gathering the Doctor's body and lifting him into her arms. She didn't say a word and her expression was cold as she placed him in the boat and grabbed the gas can. She poured it over him and the boat, ensuring they were properly covered before taking the offered lighter from River.
"I am so sorry, Fallon," River murmured, concerned for her friend as Fallon said nothing; stripping off her jacket and just pushing the boat out into the lake.
No one helped her. She wanted to do this herself. She had to do this herself even if her body protested with every movement. It felt like her chest was on fire from the warring emotions inside her and the mourning that begged to be let out. He was all she had left in this world. The only one who understood her, who would live long enough to experience a proper life with her, and in the end he'd pushed her away. It brought up questions she would never know the answers to—Did he ever care? Was it all a lie? He knew this was coming, didn't he? Why wouldn't he tell me? Why did I care if this was what was going to happen? This is what always happens—and she ignored the burn of tears that finally slipped through the cracks.
She bared her teeth in anger, sucking in sharp breaths of pain and frustration as she moved deeper into the lake. When she was chest-deep, she pressed her forehead against the wood and took a shuddering breath before slamming a fist painfully into the hull. She did it a few more times with a shout of bitter resentment and mourning, then her shoulders sagged and she calmed. She took the lighter River had given her and flicked it open, silently wishing the small flame would swallow her too before she threw it into the boat and shoved it away.
She watched the fire build until the whole boat was engulfed; brilliant reds and oranges flickering across the darkened lake as the sun sank lower in the sky. Fallon watched the boat as the others stood on shore and waited. She wondered if they might be upset were she to just walk off into the lake herself. She wanted to disappear, to burn like the Doctor did, or run off to the far reaches of the Earth in the hopes that she'd never meet anyone ever again because it hurt. Caring hurt, loving hurt. All of it just piled up and up until it was all just ripped away to leave you bare and naked in the frigid world around you. She never wanted to know warmth again and when River called out to her, calling her back, she wished the astronaut would come back to finish her off too.
Nothing was worth it anymore and the idle thought of calling Daniel buzzed at the back of her mind because today was not a good day. Today was the worst day of many bad days but if she told Daniel about the Doctor dying, what then? How could he possibly help her? How could anyone—
"Fallon," Rory muttered quietly, having stepped into the lake himself to take hold of her arm.
She stared back, tears still rolling down her face but a hollowness in her eyes that worried and frightened him.
"Please," he breathed, suddenly feeling as though they were losing her too.
Thankfully, she allowed him to lightly pull her out of the water and onto the shore. Her legs buckled not long after and River hurried over to help him hold her up, quietly explaining that her death might not have agreed with her waking up so soon after. They put her in the car that the Doctor had brought and River offered to bring her motorcycle back to the diner while Rory brought her and Amy. They needed to talk about the envelopes and what Canton Everett Delaware III—the man who'd brought the gas can—had said.
"You got three," River explained as they stepped back into the diner, holding the envelopes. "I was four, Mr. Delaware was five and Fallon was two."
"So?" Rory asked.
"So, where's one?"
"You think he invited someone else?" Rory questioned, before glancing back at the door where he could just barely see the outline of Fallon standing outside. "And you're sure we should leave her there? I'm worried."
River was worried as well but knew Fallon far better than most. "She needs time to process. We're all worried but there's nothing we can do for her right now. She wants space and it's best to give it to her. Pushing her will just make her run."
Fallon was speaking to someone then and it wasn't long before they saw her light a cigarette a man had given her before he walked into the diner himself.
"I didn't know she smoked," Rory breathed.
"Fallon has done a lot of things we don't know about," River offered quietly. "A cigarette is one of the least harmful. The point is, that the Doctor planned all of this, to the last detail. He was up to something."
"Will you two shut up?" Amy cut in quietly, leaning on a booth and struggling to deal with what had happened. "He's dead."
"Space 1969," River went on, not really hearing her. "What did he mean?"
"You're still talking, but it doesn't matter."
"Hey, it mattered to him," Rory argued lightly.
"So it matters to us," River added.
"He's dead."
"But he still needs us," River pressed but seeing the way Amy had given up. "I know. Amy, I know. But right now we have to focus."
Rory spotted something then and tapped River's arm in surprise. "Look."
She turned and saw the blue envelope sitting on the back table, hurrying toward it as Rory went to the man wiping the diner counters.
"Excuse me, who was sitting over there?"
"Some guy."
The response was unhelpful and Rory looked around the diner as River turned back to him.
"The Doctor knew he was going to his death, so he sent out messages. When you know it's the end, who do you call?"
"Uh, your friends. People you trust."
"Number 1. Who did the Doctor trust the most?" River said, holding up the numbered envelope as Amy shifted over as well.
Then, the bathroom door opened behind her to reveal a frightening familiar figure. The Doctor stood there with a straw in his mouth, seeing them and pointing with a grin as River stared in shock.
"This is cold. Even by your standards, this is cold."
"Or hello, as people used to say," the Doctor offered as his expression shifted into something more confused.
"Doctor?" Amy breathed.
"I just popped out to get my special straw. It adds more fizz."
"You're okay. How can you be okay?" Amy asked as she circled him.
"Hey, of course, I'm okay. I'm always okay. I'm the King of Okay. Oh, that's a rubbish title. Forget that title," he said, hugging her before patting her and releasing her to hug Rory. "Rory the Roman! That's a good title. Hello, Rory. And Doctor River Song. Oh, you bad, bad girl. What trouble have you got for me this time?" He asked upon releasing him and she took one look at him before slapping him hard across the face. "Okay. I'm assuming that's for something I haven't done yet."
"Yes, it is."
"Good. Looking forward to it."
"I don't understand," Rory spoke up, lightly poking him. "How can you be here?"
"I was invited. Date, map reference. Same as you lot, I assume, otherwise it's a hell of a coincidence," the Doctor replied.
"River, what's going on?" Amy pressed, knowing that right now she would be the one who understood best.
"Amy, ask him what age he is."
"That's a bit personal," the Doctor lightly complained.
"Tell her. Tell her what age you are," River demanded.
"Nine hundred and nine."
"Yeah, but you said you were—" Amy started but River cut her off.
This whole situation was riddled with spoilers.
"So where does that leave us, huh? Jim the fish? Have we done Jim the fish yet?" She asked the Doctor instead as he furrowed his brows.
"Who's Jim the fish?"
"I don't understand," Amy pressed.
"Yeah, you do," Rory argued softly before his gaze shifted to the door.
"I don't!" The Doctor complained, annoyed by the lack of answers and not seeing who had just walked in. "What are we all doing here?"
"We've been recruited," River reluctantly explained. "Something to do with space 1969, and a man called Canton Everett Delaware the third."
"Recruited by who?"
"Someone who trusts you more than anybody else in the universe."
"And who's that?"
"Fallon," Rory muttered, making the Doctor turn around and smile at the woman who had frozen in place upon seeing him.
"Fallon recruited us? Lovely change," he chirped, heading over cheerfully and cupping her face in his hands. "How have you been, love?"
Fallon took a step back, pale, and making his smile falter.
"Fallon?"
"Fallon didn't recruit us," River breathed, uncertain of how the woman would handle this. "She was number two."
"Then, who did?" He asked, glancing at her.
"Spoilers."
He frowned deeply before there was a clatter that made him turn back around. Fallon had stumbled back away from him, breathing hard with eyes blown wide. He took half a step toward her, uncertain of what was going on, and lifted his hand but she turned and bolted from the diner.
"Fallon!" He called, hurrying after her as the others shared worried looks.
This was not going to go well.
"Fallon!"
No, no, no, no, no. He's not here. He can't be here. He's dead. He's dead and gone a-and I'm hallucinating or something. I have to be. I saw him die. I was there. I died too. I didn't imagine that. It still hurts. My body still burns and I should be resting, should be recovering but he died, and now—My wrist was grabbed, pulling me to a stop as his garbled voice tried to break through the ever-loud heartbeat in my ears. My breath was coming out in short, quick gasps. It was a panic attack well in the making. A-And why shouldn't I be panicking? He's here. He's alive and I don't know how but he can't be.
"Fallon? Fallon, you need to calm down," he tried to soothe as I brought my shoulders up toward my ears and reached up to cover my mouth.
His words made me feel sick. His voice echoing what he'd said before he'd died; before I'd watched him die.
"Don't get involved."
"Fallon, please," he begged, turning me toward him. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Help me understand."
It was like a twig snapped. Something broke within me at those words turning the overwhelming panic into something more volatile. I saw red and I grabbed the front of his tweed jacket, twisted him around, and slammed him up against the wall of the diner.
"You don't get to say that to me!" I bellowed, ignoring the hot sting of tears that fell down my face as I bared my teeth at him. "Y-You don't get to… to tell me to…"
As quick as it came the raging torrent faded, leaving my expression of rage to crumble as my mouth quivered and words escaped me. He looked terrified, worried, and so very confused. I wanted to hit him… I wanted to run. My body couldn't decide though and soon a light pair of hands touched the arm still holding the Doctor to the wall. My gaze shifted to River as she slowly shook her head. He didn't know. I couldn't tell him. He didn't understand and everything I was feeling was just going to have to fall to the side so we could figure this out.
"I-I don't…" I choked out, words a breathy whisper compared to my shouting from a moment ago. "I don't want…"
"I know," River murmured as my grip loosened and finally let the Doctor go. "I know and if I could let you go, I would but right now, we need you. More than anyone else, Fallon, we need you."
The pressure in my chest swelled, adding to the tears in my eyes and the sick, sinking feeling in my gut. I wasn't ready. I wasn't done mourning. It was too soon, all too soon but… but I had to let it go. So, I nodded and River reached out, lightly grabbing my upper arms before pulling me close. I sagged into the embrace, dropping my head onto her shoulder with a shuddering sob as she quietly told the Doctor to go get the Tardis. Reaching up, I grasped at her jacket tightly, clinging to her as my only support before choking out the words I didn't want him to hear.
"I-I can't."
"I know," she muttered back, rubbing a hand up and down my spine.
"How could he… Why?"
"We're trying to find out, Fallon. We need you to help us figure it out but we can't tell him what happened. He can't know."
"He's going to die."
"Yes," she admitted, voice pained. "But he brought us here to do something, Fallon. There is a point to all this and you know that, don't you?"
I let out a shuddering breath but nodded, loosening my grip on her and pulling away as I began to calm down. It required a lot of effort. A million questions buzzed in the back of my mind but I had to force them to stay there. I was going to face him again and he would want to know, would demand to know and I had to be able to lock everything away and say nothing. The anger would help and I held onto that emotion over all the others as River gave my arm one last squeeze of comfort.
"I'm sorry," she breathed and I ground my teeth together tightly as I walked away.
"Someone will be."