Chapter 2 - I Know Who I Am
Author's Note: ANH continues... and Luke makes himself known. :)
~ Amina Gila
"Now do you see?" the Son asks, "This was always his destiny."
"When you do not appreciate the Light you have, you make it Dark. It did not have to be this way," the Daughter objects, solemnly.
"Yes," Luke agrees. He feels breathless, faint. This is all so much. "That's not... Anakin may have been destined to Fall, but that's only because of the actions of those around him. It didn't have to be like that." Of that, he's certain. Anakin was always so good and kind, and that never started changing until after he became a Jedi, learned to be a weapon to kill.
Luke still can't believe that he's dead, that he'll never be able to live again, that he's... going to be in the Force here forever, but at least he finally has the chance to know more about his father. He just never dreamed that his life would be like this.
And he – he wants to be like Anakin. He always has. That's why he was once tempted to run away and became a spice freighter pilot too, but Biggs pointed out that that was stupid, that he could just go to school and become a normal pilot, then do whatever he wanted. But he never had that chance because he's dead.
Now, he almost wishes he could be a Force user of some kind – he's not sure that he'd want to be a Jedi or a Sith – but obviously he won't be able to be that either. He has nothing now, nothing but... this.
"How do I see my father again?" Luke asks, "Can I talk to him?"
"You will have to learn," the Son replies, as the Daughter fades out. His connection to her doesn't feel nearly as strong as his to the Son's. There's something about the being's darkness that resonates with him, in a way he doesn't really understand. It's not as if he fears the Dark Side the way the Jedi do. Why would he? It's no different than someone giving into their darker desires, with the Force to fuel it. It doesn't have to make someone totally lose themselves.
"Can you teach me?"
"I can. The Force is angry with how its son has been treated, grandchild of the Force. That is why it's giving you this chance to make changes, for his sake. And before the galaxy leads itself to total ruin."
"I'll take it," Luke decides, firmly. But he has a couple million questions, first. "Why are you appearing to me, instead of the Daughter?"
"Our connection has always been strongest. She has one with another," he answers, mysteriously.
Luke doesn't take the time to ponder it right now. He just needs to know how he can appear to Vader. He wants to get to know his father in person.
**w**
Leia's mind feels muddled – she can scarcely tell the difference between reality and whatever it is her mind is concocting. The voices, whispers of everyone she once knew, keep insisting she needs to answer to the Imperials about the Death Star plans. It's not real. It's not. It can't be. But it still feels like it is, no thanks to the drug.
She tries to bury herself deeper in her mind to block it out. Often, in the past, such as when she was doing her Senate work and needed to calm herself, she'd just... breathe, reaching out metaphorically into the energy that surrounded her, letting herself feel it.
It reminds her a little of what Ben did all those years ago, when using the Force.
Doing that now isn't nearly as easy because it's her own mind that's tormenting her, but if she crawls into the furthest parts of it, it easier. She can only remind herself stubbornly to stay strong and ignore the voices.
Her parents would never ask her this. They –
And then she feels... something. She doesn't know what it is, but it feels like she's suddenly floating somewhere, almost detached from herself.
A figure is standing next to her, a woman radiating a strange Light. It's familiar, like what Leia often sensed in the past, whenever she reached outwards. It's peaceful, and it gives her a moment to stop hearing what she knows can't possibly be real.
"Who are you?" she demands.
Wait... What if this another trick of her mind, too? She needs to be cautious.
"I am the Daughter, one of the Force," she explains.
What does that mean?
Her thought must've been transmitted loud enough for the other to pick up on, as unnerving as that is. "An embodiment of the Force, but Light."
"Then why you are here?" That doesn't make sense, does it? Unless it's another hallucination. At least the other ceaseless voices have momentarily stopped.
"To guide you," she replies, "We have always had a connection. You have sensed it, haven't you?"
She blinks, nodding slowly, warily. "But why would a being of the Force appear to me?" It's not like there's something special or important about her.
"The very balance of the universe is in jeopardy. If it is not righted, the galaxy will destroy itself completely. The Force would not otherwise intervene to this extent unless there were no other way."
What...? "This is... something to do with the Force? The balance of the Force?" she clarifies, "I don't know anything about that."
"You will learn. You must. But you do not need to know the ways of the Force to help restore balance."
Leia has more questions now than when this started. She's so confused. "What do I do? And why me?"
"Our connection," the Daughter reminds, though it still makes no sense to her, "Your path will become clear, as your destiny proceeds."
"What does that –" Leia starts to ask, except then the Daughter fades out, and she finds herself back in her prison cell. "Wait!" But she's already gone.
Vader is hovering nearby, and she can feel the drug working through her system, the images she was seeing before instantly returning to mind. All Leia can do now is stubbornly resist and wait for it to be over.
Someone will have to give in first, and she will not let it be her.
**w**
The shock wave in the Force from Alderaan's destruction is still ringing through the Force, fueling the Dark Side. Vader is still... upset about it. Upset would be an understatement actually because this was never what the Empire was supposed to stand for. They were supposed to make things better, not destroy. Alderaan had many traitors, yes, but this destruction is... It's becoming far worse than the Republic.
But there's nothing he can do if his master won't allow it. He can only continue fighting to restore order himself, something the Rebellion is certainly not making any easier.
Vader's moving through the hangar when he suddenly senses something. A presence he hasn't felt since –
"Then my friend is truly dead. Goodbye, Darth."
"Obi-Wan! OBI-WAN!"
Obi-Wan is here, coming after Leia again, isn't he?
And Vader already knows how this has to end. Sidious made it more than clear, and chasing after Obi-Wan any longer is pointless, when he never cared for him or even Anakin. He's... not truly the person Vader knew anymore.
One of them will die. Vader doesn't know that he truly cares which of them it is. He's just... numb.
But he cannot let his former master walk away again. Sidious would be furious. (It would hurt too much, to watch Obi-Wan abandon him a third time. Even if he no longer knows how the chaotic storm of the Force he met on Jabi'im could truly be the man who raised him, who he once loved.)
Chaos breaks out in the prison level with the princess. She's escaping, but Vader can tell that's not where Obi-Wan is anymore.
He's... elsewhere, coming closer.
Vader is waiting near the hangar, lightsaber already in hand, when Obi-Wan finally rounds the hall.
He looks so much older now, but what really strikes Vader is his Force presence. Before, on Jabi'im, it was wild, uncontrolled, whipping around like a violent rainstorm. Now, something about him as cold and sharp as ice, but shifting into something of a hailstorm.
He feels furious, and Vader doesn't really know why. He was this angry on Mustafar, but not even on Jabi'im, so why now?
"Darth," he greets sharply, drawing his blade. There's a look in his eyes, promising vengeance. Vader's seen it directed at him twice now, but it somehow doesn't make it less unnerving to see it again. (It's nothing like Obi-Wan was on Jabi'im; the violent rainstorm of his presence had been fading out to something dying, like an ice crystal melting away, or maybe an animal when its heart is ripped out but it's still alive – yes, he saw that once on Tatooine. So, what's different now? What happened?)
"We meet again at last. The circle is now complete," Vader intones, striding forwards. "When I left you, I was but the learner, but now, I am the master." And now, he knows what he has to do, even if he still doesn't want to.
"Only a master of evil, Darth," Obi-Wan throws back, fiercely.
Vader's not quite expecting the violent Force-shove when it comes, but he blocks most of it. It still sends him skidding backwards, though. He forces himself upright immediately, despite the pain, as Obi-Wan lunges for him.
It's like a repeat of those final moments on Jabi'im, when Obi-Wan cut his helmet open, and Vader won't leave himself so exposed again. (Not unless he knows for sure Oi-Wan is going to finish it.) Vader blocks his blow, shoving him back, and pressing forwards.
Obi-Wan hasn't practiced in years clearly, but he's – he's drawing off the Dark Side.
No, he's drowning it. Vader can see that now, and he doesn't know what changed, because it wasn't true before. He doesn't know if Obi-Wan himself is even aware of it.
But Vader is slightly more healed than he once was and has had years to prepare for this moment. (In addition to the motivation of remembering his master's lightning, and – remembering the feel of the lightsaber cutting through his head last time.)
He forces Obi-Wan back, even if his once master is still doing impressively well, looking for an opening to end this. Vader finally flings Obi-Wan back, except instead of leaping at him again, Vader feels the Force suddenly coil around him, twisting the gears in his right hand, so he drops his lightsaber.
He should've seen that coming – Obi-Wan did it on Mustafar, too.
Vader's calling his lightsaber back to him when Obi-Wan leaps for him again. He's going for the kill.
Although Vader thought that's what he was going to do on Jabi'im too, but he thinks for a desperate, wild moment that if he just stands here, maybe Obi-Wan will actually finish it, and everything will finally be over.
He's going to lash out, to make Obi-Wan stop, purely on instinct – even if a part him is almost tempted not to. If Obi-Wan's willing to do it a third time, even after... last time, what's the use in stopping it? Except that Vader cannot go back to Sidious like this, not again.
But then, a Force wave from... an unseen user slams into Obi-Wan, throwing him back. It's powerful, not nearly as strong as Vader but enough that it catches Obi-Wan totally off-guard. He skids a distance down the hall, and even as he tries to lash out again, he can't break through the shield the invisible presence is now holding in front of Vader.
It feels like that presence Vader sensed before, though now it's dark and angry, and radiating a power that simultaneously reminds him of a lifetime ago, when he subdued the Son on Mortis.
Obi-Wan's moving towards him again anyway, and Vader raises his lightsaber, steeling himself to... finish this. If Obi-Wan won't finish it, then Vader had to be the one to do it. (He doesn't know if it hurts more that Obi-Wan still hasn't finished it – even if it's because of whatever force intervened for some reason – or that he still has no hesitation to do it. It's not as if he didn't already... expect it.)
Except then, the princess materializes from around the corner, catching Obi-Wan arm, hissing something about them getting out, and they turn and take off down the hall. Vader gives chase, even if his mind is mostly focused on that Force presence still lingering near him. He can feel it more distinctly now, but when he reaches towards it, it's elusive.
He doesn't make it to the hangar fast enough, and he only gets there in time to see the ship already taking off.
For as much as he wants to give chase immediately, he also knows that the ship will lead them back to the Alliance, so long as one of them doesn't find and disable the tracker. Then, he can take out the Rebellion and his once master, once and for all, together.
That doesn't stop the overwhelming, far beyond intolerable, emptiness ripping him apart. He didn't know he could feel more numb and destroyed than he already did. Maybe it's just that he didn't need another reminder of – of the past that he shouldn't even think of any longer.
**w**
"Father?" Luke asks, uncertainly, hovering next to Vader as the cyborg watches the ship flying away.
He still can't believe Obi-Wan was about to do again almost exactly what he did on Jabi'im.
Luke hadn't even thought of what he was doing, but he refused to stand and watch. He'd lashed out violently, wildly, desperate and angry at once to make it stop. He wasn't going to let Obi-Wan hurt his father again.
Even if he's mildly surprised Vader wasn't able to stop it himself in time.
Luke also can't help thinking about the princess – he saw her with Ben. He doesn't know what it is about her that's so... important, but he can't shake this strange connection to her. Sometimes, when he was younger, he often felt like there was something missing. He thought it was just that he missed his father so much, but looking back, it felt like a part of that aching longing was filled the moment he first saw a hologram of the princess. Why that would be, he has no idea.
Not that it matters right now.
He looks back to Vader, who's still standing there motionless.
"Father?" Luke tries again, anyway, desperation leaking into his voice. He just wants to talk to him, and he wishes it were possible already.
The Son might've started teaching him, but they haven't had long.
Vader twitches, glancing his direction for a moment, the black hole he is in the Force seeming to reach out uncertainly before shaking it off, striding away.
"You said I could talk to him," Luke protests, unable to help how sullen he feels. If he were able to physically use the Force to interact in the real world even though he's dead, there shouldn't be any reason he can't talk to Vader.
"You need more training," the Son insists, materializing beside him, "But you have already drawn on the Dark Side. Continue to do so, and you will be ready to talk to him soon."
"Why the Dark Side?" he objects.
"The passion, the anger you feel now is of the Dark Side. It is not evil. It simply is, and will grant you power, so long as you do not let yourself become blinded by it."
He hesitates, uncertain. Only because of what he saw in Anakin's life really, and he doesn't want to risk losing himself, even if he knows the Son is right. What he just did was with the Dark Side, and there was nothing wrong with it. He couldn't imagine finding whatever "Light" it is the Jedi speak of, anyway. He's too... bitter, over everything that's been lost, and everything that he's seen.
"You have always had a strong connection to me. It was... your destiny," the Son continues.
"Why?" he asks, frowning. It feels true, though.
"When we passed on, others had to take our roles in time," he answers, cryptically, "But that is not relevant now. Learn more of the Force, and soon you will be able to reach him."
And Luke does.
**w**
Leia still feels numb about everything. Alderaan is gone. She can't fathom what that means. It doesn't feel like it even happened, even if she can't shake the memory from mind. She has to keep reminding herself that she can't go back to reunite with her parents because they're gone too. Forever.
She doesn't think it's going to truly sink in until she's been away long enough to know there's no way she can go back. To know that she's not going to get a call, or... anything. She should probably feel something more than this, but she can't. Doesn't. Everything is just numb and empty.
"Ben?" Leia asks instead, daring to breathe a sigh of relief once they've made the jump to hyperspace. Even so, she knows they're being followed. "It's... been a long time." He seems different somehow, and she can't place why. Like something bad happened to him too, unless Alderaan's destruction is affecting him this severely. She wouldn't know.
"It has been," Ben agrees, "I came as soon as I got your message."
"Thank you for coming," she replies, mind jumping back to his confrontation with Vader again. There's something about them... She feels like there's more she's missing, and she can't say why it even seems important. It doesn't really matter right now, does it? "Like you did all those years ago."
"Of course," he replies, nodding.
"But now you're really an old man," she adds, with a lightness she definitely doesn't feel. It's easier to try thinking about anything but. Though now, all she can remember is the last time when she was taken home. This time... she can't go back.
Ben huffs. "You sufficiently made that point last time."
Leia hums, smirking in spite herself, at the memory.
"You look kind of... old and beat up."
"I suppose Tatooine isn't an ideal place to live."
"No," he agrees, something darkening in his expression. There's something...
"Did something happen?" Leia ventures, uncertainly.
He studies her, almost contemplatively for a moment. He's hiding something, just like before. She's almost certain of it, but she doesn't know what it could be this time. She already knows he's a Jedi, and... everything. "You're safely away from the Empire and Vader. That's what matters," he replies, "I... saw what happened to Alderaan."
She swallows hard, looking away. The numbness encompassing her doesn't leave. "Something happened when I was on the Death Star," she blurts. Anything is better than talking about that right now. She's not ready to face it. probably never will be.
He frowns. "What?"
"I had a vision, I think. There was a person talking to me – she said she was called the Daughter, and that... her and I have some kind of connection?"
Ben looks both shocked and mind-blown at once. "During the war, I went with... some others to a planet in Wild Space, where beings of the Force dwelled. One was called the Daughter, but all of them died before leaving. I was never certain if it was a vision, or a tangible place. But I do not know why you would see her now or what she means by a... 'connection."
Leia shrugs. This is weird. "She said she would offer me guidance."
"It may be a trick, something of the Dark Side," he says, consideringly.
"I wondered that," she admits. Mostly because of when it was happening, but she doesn't want to talk about that right now, either. "But I don't really think so."
"Or it... may be a message from the Force," he muses, after a long pause, "That it's time for you to be trained as a Jedi."
"What?" Leia yelps, eyes widening. Where did that notion come from?
"You are one of the most powerful Force sensitives out there," Ben says, evenly, "Your birth father was the strongest."
That catches her attention instantly; at least hearing about her birth family isn't painful. She doesn't want to think of her adopted one right now. "He was?"
"He was a great Jedi," Ben replies, distantly, and there's a strange amount of longing, and... something else in his tone. Too complicated to sort out.
"Your friend," Leia realizes.
He nods. "Vader killed him."
She freezes. "What?"
"He betrayed and murdered him," Ben repeats, "You were hidden, for your protection. Had this not happened, you would have been raised as a Jedi. If you... trained, it would be a huge asset to the Rebellion. Only a Jedi will be able to defeat Vader and the Emperor."
Leia opens her mouth, then closes it again. She can't imagine actually learning to use the Force, but she doesn't have any inherent objections to it, either.
"I'll think about it," she offers, finally. Nor does she know what to think of the fact that Vader was... responsible for killing her birth father.
**w**
Icy fear claws its way through Vader, as he kneels in front of the transmission, answering the call from the Emperor. He's rarely had such failures to report to him in the past, and this is by far what Sidious will most upset about, probably since... Jabi'im.
Obi-Wan was the one to take out the Death Star too, and even if Vader has no regrets about that, Sidious will be angry. Likely at him, seeing as Tarkin is now dead so he can't take the blame for the failure. Assuming he would. Sidious and Tarkin have always worked very closely, after all. Vader's never seen them at odds.
But he's...
It's not like he can lie either. Sidious will always know, and that will only make it worse.
"I have already heard of the Death Star's destruction, Lord Vader."
Vader's unsurprised, though the sound of his tone – perfectly level – sends a chill through him. "Yes, my master," he replies. "I... was unable to stop it in time. There was a flaw in the design I was unaware of." The design was never something he was involved in anyway, and his master knows that, so maybe –
"You confronted Kenobi again," Sidious interrupts. Evidently, that is what he really cares about, as expected, "Did you destroy him?"
Fear is choking him, almost literally. "He escaped, Master," Vader forces himself to say.
"... I see," he says, slowly. He can feel the anger, sharp and cold, but he thinks Sidious already knew the answer.
"He... caught me off-guard, Master. But I will destroy him." He should have already. He should've... (He wishes he could stop thinking about their fight. He needs to destroy him, but he doesn't want to see him again. Not – not after this.)
"So you have said, and yet you fail every time," Sidious replies, "You were warned of what failure would mean."
He wishes he'd let Obi-Wan kill him, but he wouldn't have finished it any more than he did before, would he? "I will find him. He will not escape –"
"Silence," Sidious snaps, and Vader stills completely, instantly. His master... rarely raises his voice. His calm tone is terrifying enough. "I grow tired of this. How many times must we have this conversation, Lord Vader?" he demands, "You have failed enough times. If you find him again, you will destroy him. Let this be a lesson you do not forget."
He raises his hands, and Vader can't help flinching, even in the armor. The lightning engulfs him a second later, sending him to the floor. It's blinding and agonizing as always, and leaves his gasping, though his respirator is working to catch up, and his throat feeling raw as he lies on the floor – though from screaming, breathing so hard, or the burns that definitely cover him now, he doesn't know.
"Finish this," Sidious hisses, "Or I will be forced to take action myself."
The call ends, and he just... lies there a moment longer, pain still ripping through every inch of him. When all he can do is drown is hate and fury and helplessness and mostly fear, there's little else he can do.
"Father?" a voice whispers next to him.
In his mind, actually.
It sounds horrified, but small and scared at once.
"What?" he doesn't know if he said it out loud or mentally, but it's like that Force presence he keeps on feeling is shifting closer, hovering next to him, though he sees nothing. Like it's a spirit.
"You're my father," the voice repeats. It sounds like a boy, a teen.
He must be imagining things. Maybe the lightning – Slowly, Vader shifts his position, forcing himself into a kneeling position so he can clamber unsteadily to his feet. "Who are you?" He sees nothing, but someone is here. A spirit? What they're saying doesn't make sense, though.
"I'm Luke Skywalker. You were Anakin, right?"
Luke. One of the names he chose, because Padme thought it would be a boy. He knew it would be a girl.
His heart would be pounding, if it was controlled by his body anymore. He doesn't understand what's happening. "You are gone," he replies, sharply. The spirit of his son couldn't be talking to him – it would have passed on many years ago. And it wouldn't sound like an adult if it were him.
"I am now, but not when you first thought." Luke sounds uncertain. "Stormtroopers killed me on Tatooine. Then I ended up here."
The words feel true, but it doesn't make sense. It's not possible. He can't have had a child all this time. Padme died. He killed her. "You are not real," Vader repeats, sharply.
He can practically sense disappointment and determination. "I know it's probably hard to believe, but I am. You're my father. I – I always wanted to know you."
"My child died," Vader retaliates. He wishes this voice would stop. It's – it's more than he can handle right now. But then why does it feel so real? "I killed them."
There's a long pause of hesitation, and more uncertainty. "No, you didn't," Luke objects, "Sidious told you that you did. But I lived."
What is this, a vision – not a real one – or just his own yearning for the past, driving him to insanity? It's probably most likely, but the Force isn't lying.
That doesn't mean he can believe this.
"I'm staying here," the voice speaks again, in his mind, "If you... want to talk to me. I suppose it would be hard to believe."
Vader doesn't reply, doesn't know what to say to that. It's not as if anyone's said anything of that nature to him for years, either. And for now, he has a mission to focus on before he makes his master even more angry.
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