"So, what are you going to do when we finally catch John?" Alex asked as she drove down the road back to their hotel, and Erin blanched a little as she thought about the future. It was in that moment that she realized she hadn't thought about the future, despite being confident that they were going to bring him down.

"I, I guess that I haven't thought that far ahead, Lexie. I just…everything in my life has been consumed by the hunt for John and my babies lately that it feels like I won't know who I am after this. What if I lose myself?"

"I don't think that you will, since you have a loyal group of friends who will surround you and make certain that you don't come loose from your mooring. We should have been that for each other during the Amerithrax case, but I was dealing with Ethan, and you were dealing with your own losses, and we drifted apart at the worst possible time. I won't let that happen to you again."

Her hand slipped off the steering wheel to rub her arm, and Erin took a deep breath as she nodded. "Thank you." They fell quiet for the rest of the drive, and Erin thought about the first morning after John was brought to justice. She could wake up and not have to worry about looking over her shoulder. She wouldn't have to watch her children like a hawk in case John decided to gift them with more presents. She could start to live again, and she didn't know what that would be like. "I didn't take the dolls away from Elise and Catherine."

"I figured you wouldn't. They weren't harming your girls, and he went to the effort to make one for everyone on the team. If we didn't know the provenance of them, we'd think they were adorable."

"Exactly," she said as Alex pulled up to the front of their hotel, allowing the bellman to park the vehicle for them as they made their way inside. Erin hoped that Alex wouldn't mind, but as soon as they were in front of the elevators, she reached out and grabbed hold of her hand, needing a way to ground her to the moment, still feeling like she was going to come apart at the seams at any moment. She let out a tiny sigh as Alex tightened her fingers around her hand as the elevator doors opened, and they stepped inside. "Will you, when this is all over, stay with us for a few days? I know that you have James to be with, but I think that I might finally break down around you and Jessica. I think that I want to break down with you two. And perhaps I need that, as well."

"I think that you need to talk to your husband about letting us borrow the cabin for a weekend, once this is all done and dusted. Because you need a place to unwind and be away from people as we talk about everything. Plus, it will be warm enough that we can swim in the lake."

"I like the sound of that," she said as they stepped out into the hallway. She tried to pull away from Alex, only for the woman to tighten her hold on her hand. "I can head down to my room on my own, Alex."

"And Aaron said that I had to stay with you until your husband arrived here. You know that I am not about to disobey the order of my direct supervisor."

There was a touch of sarcasm in her voice, and Erin rolled her eyes a little as they continued down to her room. While she had been hoping for an older hotel, that would have windowless rooms, that was not the case, and that had resulted in one more worry stacked atop her worries with regards to John and what he would do, but she hadn't mentioned that to anyone, since she didn't want to annoy anyone with her paranoia. "And do you want to clear our room first, to make certain that John isn't skulking around in our bathroom?"

"Actually, yes. That might be the first smart thing that you've said in the last few minutes."

Erin frowned at her as she unlocked the door and let Alex inside. There was something comforting about the way that Alex drew her weapon went inside, clearing the room before calling out for Erin to join her. "All right, I'm going to change into pyjamas while we talk, if you don't mind. It's not like you haven't seen my body before."

"Really?"

"What? We're both in committed relationships, and it's not like I'm going to flash you. The most you'll see is my bare back for a few seconds before I get my nightshirt on."

Alex blushed as she nodded a little, and Erin gave her a small wink before heading over to the dresser, pulling out soft grey palazzo pants and a knit black shirt. Keeping her back to Alex, Erin quickly shed her blazer and blouse, dropping them on top of the dresser before unhooking her bra and adding that to the pile. After slipping into the black shirt, Erin unzipped her skirt and let it drop to the floor, tugging on the pants and then stripping off her hose, adding them to the pile of clothes on the dresser. The last thing she did before heading over to the bed was grab her grey striped cardigan, gathering it around her body as she sank down onto the mattress. "You have a scar on your back?"

Erin nodded as she stretched out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Tabitha left out one of her roller skates and I didn't see it, because I was carrying a laundry basket. My feet went right out from under me and I fell back against the sharp corner of the kitchen counter. It hurt like a bitch for months, and I couldn't head down to the range to practice my shooting while it healed."

"Heaven forbid you miss a few weeks on the range," Alex said affectionally. Erin reached out and smacked her thigh before turning onto her side and watching her friend. "I hope that you understand that I tease because it's easier than being overly emotional at the moment. I don't want to dwell on what's happening, because I need to keep my cool in order to protect you."

"I do. I wish that we could be free to enjoy this new phase of our friendship, but I know that once John is taken care of, we can do just that. And you're going to love Jessica. She reminds me so much of my mother, and you always got along so well with her."

Alex nodded as she reached out and stroked Erin's hair carefully. "Are they doing well?"

"Yes. They'll be here for Christmas this year, along with David's family, so we're hosting the event at our house. Because not only is it our families, but also Jessica's family as well, along with Sean. I've been brought into a larger family, and I love it, because I went from only child to…"

"To what you always dreamed of having. Though I never saw you with five children."

"Catherine was definitely a surprise baby, especially since for most of her pregnancy, we were dealing with Foyet and that whole drama. I know that I'm blessed to have a beautiful daughter, but there are times when I just miss Haley so much that it aches. It's a different ache from the one that I had while we were estranged, but it's still there." Alex nodded as she stilled her hand on Erin's head, and she yawned deeply as she smiled up at her friend, feeling safe enough to fall asleep in her presence, even though they both knew that John was still out there, waiting for them to slip up and give him an opening to hurt one of them.