See the Joy - Chapter 15
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. - A Christmas Carol
Pensive, thy name is Richard Castle.
He'd been fine most of the day, waking up with the sun to prepare a ridiculously large breakfast that the kids (and the two of them, as well) inhaled. He'd been cheerful as they dressed for a snowstorm and traipsed out into the snow to introduce Eva to the fluffy white flakes. He'd made sure to be a shit by starting a snowball fight with Kate that resulted in a girls against boys match until all of them were soaked and shivering.
But now that the children are in bed, snuggled under their covers, he's quiet, his face almost blank as he sits on the porch and surveys the property in the dark.
Kate nudges a mug of hot chocolate into his hand – piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles the way he likes it – and settles gingerly beside him on the porch swing.
"What's on your mind, babe?" she asks, sipping her own hot chocolate. She closes the distance between them, brushing his cheek with her knuckles. "You're thinking awfully hard for a man who declared this to be a worry-free trip."
His lips lift at that, and he turns to press his mouth to her fingers. "I'm okay."
"Uh huh," she says, "so tell me what's making you make that face?"
"Mother called while we were outside earlier."
Kate drags her teeth over her lip, nodding. "What'd she say?"
"She's still on for tomorrow," he says. "She wanted to stress that very heavily. She just hasn't been feeling great these last couple of days."
"Because of her treatments or-?"
"She says she's just tired. She's been busy."
Kate nods, leaning into him. Her lips land on his shoulder.
"She's still working, isn't she?"
"Her last show of the year is today," he confirms. "Then she's off until March when they start touring."
She squeezes his arm. "Plenty of time to rest, then."
He hums. It's non-committal, though, and she rubs the inside of his arm gently.
"Rick," she murmurs. "Her last treatment was just this week; she's going to be tired for a little while, but that doesn't mean she's not going to be okay."
"What if she's not?" he asks finally, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "Kate, what if she's not okay? What if this was just the beginning?"
She shakes her head. "You can't think like that, Castle."
"I can't help but think like that," he admits, sounding almost ashamed to not be able to muster his usual cheery silver lining. "It's just…she's always been larger than life; The Indomitable Martha Rodgers, able to pick herself up and move on, no matter what. How do I reconcile the thought that she might not be able to this time?"
"Rick," she starts, finding herself at a loss for something more to say, something that will give him the comfort he needs. Instead, she simply puts her hot chocolate aside and reaches for his before she pulls him closer, tucking his head to her shoulder.
Her fingers comb through his hair, using the gentle motion to gather her thoughts and let him release his feelings as he needs to. "She's going to be okay," she says firmly. "She said things looked promising after her appointment. She said they'll continue to monitor her, and if she needs additional treatment, she'll get it. If the treatment was successful, but she needs to take medication to keep her condition in check, she'll take it. She's not going anywhere, Rick. Your mother is stubborn and proud; she isn't just sitting down and letting whatever happens happen, and you shouldn't either."
Kate presses her lips to his ear, moving to his temple and holding him closer.
"I've just… never had to think of her like this."
She brushes her lips over his hairline again. "I know. Your mom doesn't want you thinking of her like that, either. And I think… I think that's part of why she waited so long to tell us, to spare you the worry and to keep you from dwelling on the worst-case scenario."
"So what do I do?" he asks, clearing his throat. She squeezes him in response, giving him more time to get himself together if he needs it.
"Well, Eva's still sleeping in our room most nights; we could put a bed back in the nursery and ask your mom to come stay with us for a while?" she offers. It's been a long time since Martha has lived with them – the months before Lily was born, to be precise – but she's not at all opposed to having her mother-in-law come back to the loft if it gives Rick some peace of mind.
"She'll probably say no," he starts, exhaling, "but I think we should try anyway."
"Okay," Kate agrees, tipping his chin up and pressing her lips to his. "We'll ask her to come and stay with us. We can help her with anything she needs, even if it's just giving her a chance to be with us. With you."
He shuts his eyes, nodding. After a moment, he snorts. "I never thought I'd be ready to pretty much beg my mother to move back in with us."
She laughs, cupping his cheeks and knocking another kiss to his mouth. "All those years you bitched about wanting her to go, and here you are," she teases, resting her forehead on his. "I'll talk to her, too, see if we can convince her to stay until the doctors know for sure what's ahead, okay?"
Her husband nods again. "Okay."
With that agreement, his breath slows down and he relaxes into her arms. "Thanks, Kate."
Her thumbs swipe his skin. "Believe me, I know what you're feeling; the worry, the confusion."
Rick's hand lands on her side, delving under the hem of her sweater and brushing her skin. "I know you do."
This time of year, the ache for her own mother is always sharp. She doesn't want him to have to experience that – not ever, but especially not now.
"Yeah," she murmurs, allowing him to draw her onto his lap. She hums, getting comfortable in his embrace and brushing her fingers through his hair once again. "She'll be okay, Rick. She will. And so will you."
He kisses her neck in response, pressing his forehead to her skin.
Prompt: Miracle
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