Next morning Tammo had an audience with Yellow and Blue in the throne room and explained his idea to them.
Yellow was skeptical. "A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years."
"That's because we haven't had Pink in 6,000 years," Blue pointed out. "A ball sounds like a nice idea to me."
"Yeah!" said Tammo. "And when White Diamond shows up, we can tell her why we need her help here on Earth!"
"And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3," said Blue.
Yellow smiled, a rare occurrence for her. "You're right, it's brilliant."
"Thank ye, Yellow! Thank ye, Blue!" Tammo was overjoyed.
Blue said, "If White is going to be there, everything has to be perfect. Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started."
Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl entered the room and saluted. "At your service, Pink Lasagna Wotwot!"
"Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld," Yellow told the Pearls.
"Yes, my Diamond," said Yellow Pearl.
Tammo went and got his own Pearl, along with Pasque, Amethyst, and Garnet, and they started planning the party together with Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl.
"I want balloons everywhere," Tammo said. "Confetti cannons too!"
Amethyst shapeshifted into a cannon. "Dibs on being the confetti cannon!"
But Yellow Pearl shook her head. "Cannons are forbidden inside palace walls. And these 'balloons' you're referring to are unprecedented and therefore out of the question."
"Bet you don't even know what a balloon is," Amethyst muttered.
"So, wot is precedented and therefore in the question?" Tammo asked.
"You are to sit on your elevated throne, while the members of your court indicate to you that they are present," Yellow Pearl told him.
"I say, that sounds pretty dry, wot wot," Tammo said.
"'Course it's dry," she said. "Liquids are forbidden in the ball room."
Tammo's ears drooped dejectedly. "All right." He went and sat on Pink Diamond's throne. "So, I just sit up here?"
Yellow Pearl nodded. "From here, you can accept or reject the members of your court at your leisure. My Diamond will do the same. As will Blue Diamond, an' if we are so lucky, all of us will enjoy the impeccable judgement of White Diamond."
"So, when White gets up here, I can just hop up and talk to her," Tammo said.
"Oh stars, no!" Yellow Pearl was horrified. "I forgot how silly you can be, Pink Diamond. Everyone stays where they belong."
"Oh, so…" Tammo hopped off the throne onto the floor. "I'll just wait until I get a chance to talk to her on the dance floor, wot!" He started doing disco moves. Pasque and the Crystal Gems laughed, but the Pearls were shocked.
"Your subjects will do the dancing for you," Yellow Pearl said, aghast. "Why would a Diamond want to dance?"
Tammo stopped dancing and looked at her. "Because dancing's fun, that's jolly well why."
"What is fu-un?" She had never heard the word before.
"You know," said Pasque. "It's when you do something you wanna do, just because it bally well feels good."
Yellow Pearl exchanged a look with Blue Pearl. "I don't think we do that here."
"Well, is there something you really like to do?" Tammo asked her.
"Oh! Of course not! My feelings are irrelevant."
"I like to draw," Blue Pearl said suddenly.
Tammo was intrigued. "A bloomin' artist, eh wot? I say, can I see some of your stuff?"
"Um, here." Blue Pearl pulled a tablet out of her gemstone and showed Tammo screens full of drawings. "My Diamond allows me to draw during court proceedings. They're nothing much."
Tammo scrolled through the pictures. They were very well done, even though they mostly just showed the Diamonds zapping other Gems with their powers. "Excellent likenesses, wot," he commented.
"Let me see that!" Yellow Pearl demanded, snatching the tablet out of Tammo's paws. "You can't share those pictures!" she chided Blue Pearl. "They're highly confidential!" Then she saw a drawing of herself among them. "Hmm… not bad." She handed the screen back to Blue Pearl. "Try a different angle," she said, posing elegantly.
Tammo giggled. "That's it! You like being a model," he said to Yellow Pearl, "and you like being an artist!" he told Blue Pearl.
They started laughing proudly. Just then Blue Diamond came back into the room, and the Pearls quickly snapped to attention.
"Pink! Why aren't you getting ready?" Blue Diamond demanded.
"I guess I am ready, if all I have to do is sit in a chair," Tammo said.
She eyed him critically. "Are you really going to look like that?"
"Wot's wrong with how I look?" Tammo fired back at her.
"Those ridiculous long ears, and that tail. Ugh!"
"Well, I can't really help those things, wot wot," Tammo said.
"You weren't thinking of inviting your 'Earth friends,' were you?" she said suddenly.
"Of course!" Tammo said. "Why the deuce wouldn't I? Aren't they my court or wotever?"
Blue was exasperated. "Pink, quit fooling around! White Diamond is going to be there! We have to present her with our best possible selves, just as our Gems have to present us with their best possible selves. A ball is a chance to inspire everyone!"
"But my friends are super inspiring!" Tammo protested. "They'll inspire White, too. Together we can make a case for Earth."
Blue Diamond gave in. "Very well, you can bring your Pearl, of course, and your pet."
"My… pet?" Tammo repeated dumbfoundedly.
"I think she means me," Pasque said, her arms folded crossly. She wasn't too happy to be called a pet.
Blue pointed to Amethyst. "As for this faulty Amethyst…"
Amethyst sighed. "Oh boy, here it comes."
"She'll need limb enhancers to meet her height requirements. The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires, of course, and the Ruby will enter with the other Rubies."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Tammo said. "Are you talking about Garnet? You can't jolly well split her up, she just flippin' got married!"
Blue Diamond laughed nastily. "Garnet? Is that what that thing calls herself? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids? The Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to…"
"I won't go," Garnet interrupted.
Blue Diamond was pleased. "Well, at least one of you has some sense."
She walked out of the room, and Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl followed her.
"Garnet…" Tammo said sadly.
"Don't worry about me," said Garnet. "I'll find you when the ball's over."
Tammo threw his arms around Garnet. "I thought we'd get to do this together!" He began to cry.
"Tammo, this is your chance to talk t' White," Garnet said. "She's not going to listen to me but she might listen to you."
Tammo brushed the tears out of his eyes and straightened up. "And she'll listen when I tell her about you," he resolved. "Once I talk t' White Diamond, I'll change everything, I promise." He crossed his heart with his paws.