Prompt: A character is stuck in a shopping mall
Rating: G
Setting: The Woodland Realm. Third Age.
Characters: Thranduil, Celeblassel (OC)
Summary: Queen Celeblassel, the very pregnant wife of King Thranduil, is intent on a pre-Yuletide shopping spree. King Thranduil, the long suffering husband at the mercy of his pregnant Queen's whims, does his best to cut the trip short before realising there can only be one winner in this contest of wills. And it won't be him
Thranduil had made an error.
A very grave error indeed. He had agreed to accompany Celeblassel, his beloved wife, shopping…on the last day before the Ennyn Rhîw holidays.
He did not know quite how he could have been so utterly foolish.
They had begun early. Celeblassel had all but dragged him out of the door as soon as they had finished breakfast, and had steered him toward the seasonal market that took place prior to Ennyn Rhîw, along the banks of the Enchanted River.
Twas a market that was made possible thanks in very large part to Thranduil, who for a week before the holiday, would cast another enchantment upon the river that caused a length of it to become frozen solid so that it acted as a secure, frosted path between all the stalls the vendors set up. It was a very popular attraction that saw elves from all over the Woodland Realm flock to peruse the goods and shop for their loved ones.
And they, so far as Thranduil was concerned, had done far more than their fair share of shopping. Indeed, the very tips of his fingers were beginning to feel numb from holding the ludicrous (in Thranduil's opinion) amount of bags and parcels Celeblassel had thus far managed to accumulate.
He looked down at his burdens and began to count them. Eight in his left hand and five in his right. Thranduil shook his head.
"Meleth-nin you have already acquired thirteen bags - surely you have all that you need? Shall we wrap things up here and head back to the palace."
Celeblassel snorted. "I have only just begun dearest hervenn, I have well over half of my list yet to be found, never mind purchased." The silver haired Queen waved her neatly written list in the air in demonstration. "I am nowhere near ready to head back to the palace."
Thranduil only just managed to stop himself from groaning long and loud like a petulant elfling. He was more than fed up with this trip already. His feet and back both ached from all the walking, excessive bag carrying, and the sheer amount of standing around he had to do as he waited for Celeblassel to find the 'perfect' piece of whatever thing she was on the lookout for.
For his darling wife was not quick about it, but rather took her time examining every inch of her intended purchase before she struck up a conversation with the stall owner that would eventually lead to them haggling before the item was then paid for, wrapped exquisitely, and then handed to Thranduil to add to his growing pile.
"Surely you can't have that many more things to get?" Thranduil griped. "You've so much already."
The blonde shook the bags in his hands in no small amount of frustration.
"I don't understand why you are making such a fuss melethron - tis only a few small bags you've got to carry so far."
"Yes, but they are heavy bags."
"Heavy? You think that those bags are heavy?"
Thranduil took a deep breath and resisted the urge to smirk - for he knew what his wife was about to say.
"You don't know the meaning of the word Thranduil. Heavy is being as I am right now - ten months with child and all the extra weight that goes along with it. Don't speak to me of heavy!"
Thranduil very determinedly didn't smile at his pregnant wife's predictability.
Celeblassel was heavily pregnant with their second, much longed for elfling, and at ten months in, had reached the stage where her moods varied wildly from one moment to the next. Gay laughter, unlooked for tears or a fit of temper as fierce as a dragons.
Determined not to stoke said temper any further, he threw the arm with the lesser amount of bags around his wife and planted a kiss upon her soft cheek.
"I know nothing of this extra weight you speak of; you carry yourself beautifully meleth. And you are quite right - the bags are not that heavy - I was merely being grumpy. Shall we away to the next stall?"
Mollified, Celeblassel beamed back at him. "Yes, let's!"
~o~
Thranduil was beginning to feel fed up again.
The past hour had seen a huge influx of eager shoppers and as a result the banks of the Enchanted River and the seasonal market stalls were thronged with festive buyers. Thranduil had been bumped into repeatedly, and though he'd reassured each one of his very apologetic eledhrim that it was 'absolutely fine', he rather felt that if one more person so much as grazed him he might snap (...their neck).
It was all becoming far too claustrophobic for him.
Celeblassel of course had no such issues; people parted for her radiantly pregnant self with many well wishes and indulgent smiles, all but tripping over themselves to clear the way for their expectant Queen.
Thranduil snorted at the display and continued to trail his wife - a grand total of twenty three bags now clenched in his cramped fists.
~o~
"Which do you prefer hervenn? The blue, the silver or the green?"
Thranduil gazed at the trio of tiny, elfling sized tunics his wife held up for his approval. He stared for a long moment; he truly didn't care what colour tunic their unborn elfling (a boy, Calelon had assured them) would wear in the still far off future. But a quick glance at his wife's face told him that Celeblassel cared very much, and was liable to get weepy if he didn't pretend to as well.
Curse the vagaries of pregnancy.
"The silver might make him look a tad pale. I think either the green, for he shall be a child of the forest, or the blue, for our elfling is highly likely to have blue eyes. Or better yet meleth-nin - why not get both?"
Celeblassel's answering smile was radiant, and Thranduil knew he'd gotten it right even as he handed over the coins with the wistful thought that at this rate his elfling's closet would far surpass his own.
~o~
Thranduil trudged on behind Celeblassel. He no longer had the energy to even bother with pretending that he was still enjoying their shopping trip. He'd given in to both the feeling of being continuously bumped and jostled, and having freezing cold feet as he marched along obediently through the snow.
Thranduil supposed the one saving grace was that it wasn't snowing at present. Being covered in the soft, damp flakes would have really tipped him over the edge.
"You needn't walk about as though I lead you to the gallows Tharan-min. Honestly, you've a face like a slapped arse!"
Celeblassel browsed through a basketful of exceptionally small booties even as she berated him.
Thranduil stared at her listlessly.
"I know you shall tell me I know nothing of back pain and achy feet but I have them nonetheless, and they are making me feel as miserable as I should imagine one sentenced to the gallows would feel," he stated baldly.
Celeblassel only laughed. A high pitched glittering sound that cheered Thranduil a little.
"You are such a priss husband mine. Truly. I do not know how I, a ten month pregnant elleth, have managed to outpace you so easily today. I think perhaps when we are done here you should seek out the training rooms, for your stamina has slipped Tharan-min."
Celeblassel laughed again and Thranduil rolled his eyes.
"Ha, ha, ha. I am glad my suffering amuses you so hervess."
"Is that not part of your job dearest? To provide me with entertainment?"
Thranduil sighed the deep, gusty sigh of the long suffering.
"Well in that case I have done my job most admirably today."
Celeblassel smiled at him, and Thranduil felt a flare of hope burst in him as he watched his wife drop the tiny pair of booties, shake her head at the vendor and instead turned to link her arm through his.
Could it be that his wife had at last tired of this venture?
"Come on, meleth. Let us go to the pub."
Thranduil perked up considerably. The pub sounded like a splendid idea. They could have (a very late) lunch and a few drinks (non-alcoholic for Celeblassel but perhaps an entire bottle of wine for him, he did need warming up after all) and then finally, finally head back to the palace and away from the claustrophobic nightmare that was the Ennyn Rhîw seasonal market.
"After you, muin nín. Lead the way!"
~o~
"Ai, I do not think I could eat another bite, for all that I was famished."
Celeblassel pushed her now empty dessert plate away and settled deeper into her chair, a satisfied look upon her face.
Thranduil too felt satisfied. Their lunch at the Squirrel's Arms Public House had been utterly delicious and plentiful.
Thranduil had chosen a venison steak with plentiful, buttery mashed potatoes, seasonal vegetables and lashings of gravy. Three filled-to-the-brim glasses of a Second Age Dorwinion had washed it down, and a sticky toffee apple pie had seen his meal complete and the Elven King's good mood restored.
He picked up one of Celeblassel's hands and kissed her knuckles.
"Are you certain there is nothing more I can get you?"
For Thranduil had been sure to dote over his wife,s and see to it that she got exactly what she wanted in the hopes of lulling her into the tiredness that came after a good and filling meal. Perhaps then Celeblassel would be ready for them to make their way back to the palace.
"Ai, no meleth. Thank you, but I am completely and perfectly full. That was a gorgeous meal - thank you for treating me to it."
Thranduil brushed aside the thanks before he flagged down a waitress for another glass of Dorwinion. He'd have one more and then suggest that they head home.
Thranduil accepted his brimming glass gratefully and smiled around a mouthful of wine. It seemed the nightmare shopping trip was at last at an end.
~o~
Celeblassel watched her husband enjoy his fourth glass of wine from under her eyelashes and hid a small smile.
Thranduil evidently thought that their shopping trip was over judging by how he languidly sprawled across his chair (honestly, the man couldn't sit properly if he tried) and sipped leisurely at his wine.
The silver haired Queen said nothing and let her husband take his time with his drink. Perhaps it would help lift his mood once he found out that Celeblassel was not yet even halfway done with her shopping, and still planned to continue once they were finished in the pub.
She suppressed another smile at the thought of breaking the news to her clueless husband and rubbed her stomach idly. The rest would do her swollen ankles good and let the heartburn, that had come as the price of her delicious meal, settle.
Celeblassel arranged herself in her chair in a way that accommodated the press of her elfling's elbows, which were digging deeply into her ribs, and waited for her husband to finish off his drink. He had earned it.
~o~
Thranduil savoured the last drop of his wine and though he yearned to ask for another glass, he could see that dusk was drawing in and conceded that it was probably time for them to gather their numerous shopping bags, pay and take their leave.
The blonde quickly settled their bill and gathered up all the bags, parcels and boxes Celeblassel had managed to accumulate.
"Well, shall we take our leave hervess?" Thranduil stood, offered his arm to his wife and gave her an indulgent smile. "I'll have Galion run you a nice hot bath once we get back, and I'll wash your hair for you if you'd like. Get you all rested and relaxed again after such a tiresome day."
Celeblassel gave him a sheepish, somewhat apologetic look and Thranduil felt the need to brace himself for whatever his wife was about to say next.
"Oh Thranduil, meleth-nin, those both sound like wonderful ideas and I will take you up on them…" Celeblassel paused to bite her lip and shoot him another apologetic look before she continued, "as soon as I've finished with my shopping. I've still a fair few things to get you see - so I'm not quite ready to head back home."
Thranduil took in a small but deep breath. Alas for him the filling meal hadn't tired his ten month pregnant wife out like he'd hoped it would. In fact, Celeblassel looked like an elleth refreshed, and Thranduil decided to simply give in gracefully and resign himself to spending what remained of the day trudging along obediently behind his wife. Celeblassel could be as determined as him, and this was clearly a battle he would not be winning.
However, he wasn't going to suffer through this alone.
Thranduil gave a small signal with his right hand that saw his Elite, his bodyguards - Duron, Arodon and Arthon, who had been following them all day at a discreet distance, materialise from where they had been enjoying the last of their own drinks.
"Aran-nin? We are at your service," Arodon intoned solemnly as they all dipped into respectful bows.
"The Queen wishes to carry on with her shopping, and as I shall need to have one hand free to hold the mulled wine I intend to buy to see me through this torture, I find myself in need of your assistance. Or more specifically your bag carrying skills."
Celeblassel cackled.
"Truly hervenn you are entirely ridiculous. Torture indeed!"
Celeblassel collapsed into another fit of laughter but Thranduil was deadly serious and stepped aside to let his Elite divide the shopping between them. If he was going to spend the rest of his day being jostled, having an aching back, getting his toes trod on and his feet half frozen by snow, then he would most definitely be needing the warming, irritant-dulling fuzz that (numerous cups of) mulled wine would provide.
Satisfied with his proposed plan of attack, Thranduil held out his arm to his wife.
"Lead on hervess. Let's go shopping."
END.
Ennyn Rhîw – The Gates of Winter (I headcanon that Ennyn Rhîw is the elvish equivalent of Thanksgiving with Yuletide being Christmas.)
Meleth-nin / Meleth – My Love / Love
Hervenn – Husband
Melethron – Lover (Male)
Eledhrim – Elves
Tharan-min – Vigourous One – a childhood nickname for Thranduil
Elleth - Female elf
Hervess – Wife
Muin nín – My dear
Aran-nin - My King
A/N: And so concludes my Christmas fic offering for 2023. I do hope you enjoyed a bit of silly Thranduil and his lovely wife. Do drop me a one liner and let me know. Thanks to everyone who had read, commented and kudos'd my work all year – it was all very much appreciated. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Year's. See you in 2024! KimicT