Chapter 2
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Next Thursday evening
This week has been more of the same. Brittany watching a Christmas movie. Waiting for Santana to come home. Being disappointed because it's very late.
Either the movie is almost at its end or it is already finished. It has never been so bad. Santana is working until ten or eleven most of the times.
Sometimes the social worker can be a bit earlier than that, but then there's the problem of her being too tired to even have a proper conversation with Brittany.
That scenario only ends up in Santana walking straight to bed.
Brittany tried a few Christmas things this week. Fun stuff that happen a lot in the movies.
On Monday she brought a Christmas wreath from a client. A small one. Really cute to put on your front door.
The client gave it to her out of gratitude for helping with their dog. He suddenly became really aggressive towards their son. It turned out the son had a bad experience with the puppy from a friend of his, so he felt more afraid than before.
Brittany walked the young boy through different sort of situations with a lot of dogs, which made his anxiety fade. Nowadays their pet is never aggressive anymore. The dancer was very glad with the gift and couldn't wait to show it to Santana.
Except Santana hadn't even seen the damn thing on their front door before Britt mentioned it and just said. "Nice of that man to do that. I'm very tired though Britt, is it okay if I look at it tomorrow?" … The wreath was never mentioned again.
On Tuesday evening whilst Brittany was watching another average Christmas movie she was trying to untangle their Christmas lights to put around the house. She thought it looked kind of lonely to only give the tree lights. Brittany hoped it would be a fun activity to do with Santana, but she was already finished with the task (though it took more than two hours) before her wife came home.
Wednesday, Brittany wanted to paint Christmas mugs together, and she was feeling some hope when the keys jangled at the front door at seven. However the only thing Santana mentioned was her not feeling 100% and going to bed early. Not even a good evening kiss. Not even a gentle hug or goodnight.
It's Thursday evening now. Eleven thirty in the evening and Brittany hears the front door open. Built up frustration is boiling over. She walks towards the kitchen, seeing Santana do her routine of putting her keys and purse on the kitchen counter.
"I've had it Santana. I know work is important to you. Hell, my work is really important to me too. But I feel like work always comes at the first place for you. And it makes me feel so selfish to say these things. I know you're doing important work for others. But the world won't explode when you go home on time. You know it's been six months since you've been free for an entire weekend? Seven months since we've had an evening together during the week that lasted longer than two hours before we fall asleep being exhausted, because you're not home before eight! And it's only gotten worse, now it's a miracle to have you home before ten!"
Taking of her coat, Santana is trying her very best to not react to Britt's temper. "Wow, slow down Britt. Give me a minute to walk into the house please."
Trying a different approach Brittany starts again. "What's going on? Why are you working impossible hours? Are you …" the blonde swallows a lump in her throat away. "Is it me? Are you avoiding me?"
Santana rushes towards her wife's side, taking her into her arms before the blonde starts tearing up. "What, of course not. How could you think that?"
The blonde pushes Santana away. "Because you're never home anymore. What should I think? What's another explanation for you working more than overtime? You know you're going to burn yourself out like this right?"
"Iii… I didn't think of that before. It's just … you know December is a busy month."
"It's more than just this month Santana. You won't be able to keep up this pace forever."
"I love my job. I really do." Letting her brain work in overdrive Santana starts to see some logic in Brittany's worries. "Sometimes it can be overwhelming though. I don't know how to keep my own boundaries. I want to help until infinity."
"Do your coworkers work as long as you?"
"… No. They say I'm crazy for working this much."
"Have you talked about trying to keep your own boundaries? I'm sure they've had the same problems like you at the beginning of their jobs?" The blonde moves to make some hot chocolate. "I understand that it's not a simple task to say stop at a certain point. I know that if you could you would give all your money to those in need."
Glancing a look at her wife to check if she's listening the blonde continues. "But things aren't as simple as that. Stuff isn't solved like that. Every week I go to a pet shelter where there are animals with serious behaviour problems. I know that if I didn't go there to educate the people and help the animals then … then that animal will most likely not see another week."
She drinks a small sip of the milk, trying to swallow away the lump in her throat. "Does that make me feel like I need to travel to each animal shelter in the country tomorrow? Yeah. Is it possible? No. If you say yes to everything you can technically help with, you'll burn yourself out in a day."
Looking into her wife's eyes she continues. "Burning yourself out means you won't be able to help anyone anymore."
She grabs Santana's hand. "You know the cliché saying you can't help others if you don't first help yourself? As annoying as it sounds, it's true." The dancer senses she's getting to Santana by the look on her face. "Can you do your job at the level of quality you want right now?"
Crossing her arms the Latina huffs. "Not really."
"Why do you think that is?"
"Ugh Britt. Why are you being such a smartass right now?"
Brittany comes closer to Santana, trying to challenge her. "Come on San, answer the question."
Getting enough of the third degree she snaps. "Because I'm working too much. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I make stupid mistakes which makes me need to start over again. Tasks that took me an hour a few months ago now take half a day!"
"It's a big credit to you that you want to help San. Keep that ability. But it can't be at the cost of your own destruction."
Trying to lighten up the mood a little bit Britt changes the subject. "I'm relieved it's not because you're tired of me. For a minute there I was really afraid you stopped loving me."
Santana grabs her wife by the arms and motions them to sit on the couch together. "I could never stop loving you. I'm so sorry I made you doubt that."
Mumbling something incomprehensible, Santana asks Brittany to repeat her sentence. A small voice speaks up "Pinky promise?"
Without hesitation Santana wraps her own pinky around Brittany's to promise and assure her of her love. Clear sincerity is visible in Santana's eyes, and the blonde sees it. It gives her some comfort and faith.
Trying to think for a minute Santana gathers her thoughts. "I also promise I'll do my best. I'll talk to some colleagues at work, see how they find a way for work-life balance. And tomorrow at seven, I'll be home to watch a stup… stereotypical Christmas movie with you."
Brittany gives a stern look, making her waver. "Fine, five thirty. I'll be home at five thirty"
"Awesome. It's just …" sitting closer to Brittany, Santana gives her the time to find the right words. "I miss you San. I feel like we've been living next to each other this last year instead of living one life together. I love you so much. But I miss you equally as much."
Santana's heart breaks a little bit at that. She misses Brittany too. Although she wasn't aware it was mostly because of her actions. Almost never being at home. Not present for quality time with her wife … She's really in the wrong here.
Santana is not a girl to admit being in the wrong fast. Or not at all. Feeling like that sucks. It's the most gut wrenching sad feeling she's ever felt. And it's about the love of her life!
What has she done? Making her wife feel like this. And it's almost Christmas for God sakes! Her wife adores it and she's just working, working and working … and for what? For burning herself out? For not being able to bring quality in her work anymore? For getting sick every few days? For neglecting her wife?
That's it. It takes a lot for Brittany to speak up like that! It's an enormous wake-up call for Santana. She'll really need to step up and find a way to be a bit more present in their life together. Maybe she'll find some ideas somewhere within these next few days?
Friday evening
"You're home? It's five forty?! I wasn't expecting this already." Brittany almost falls over from rushing over to Santana to give her a hug before she's even completely stepped into the house.
"I know, me neither. I talked to some of my colleagues and gave them permission to drag me out of the building when they stop working too. I had a really good talk with them. Turns out some of them struggled with overworking at the beginning of their career too. They figured I was going to ask for help if I wanted too. They didn't dare to ask me … apparently I'm scared to ask questions too… afraid I'll react badly when they ask me about my feelings. Did you know that?"
Brittany grabs Santana and gives her a big hug. "You're nothing more scary than a cat trying to be mad for not giving them food in my opinion. I don't know what they're talking about."
Giving Brittany a playful slap on the arm Santana huffs. "Geez. Okay. Changing the subject. I'll cook tonight. I've been thinking about last night a lot." Looking in crystal blue eyes she continues.
"I think an apology is needed. I'm sorry Brittany. I'm sorry for making you feel neglected. I'm sorry for making you feel insecure about our relationship. You know you are my world right? I'm nothing without you. I love you."
After giving Brittany a gentle kiss and another hug she starts to walk towards the kitchen. "Oh and one more thing. I bought you something."
Curious eyes follow every move Santana makes. Before she came home she hurriedly picked something up. She hopes Brittany will like it.
After fumbling with the zipper from her bag she gets frustrated. "Damn it, I can't open the damn thing." Her hands are trembling too much from the anticipation. "Can you open it B? It's not packed, but I think you'll see what doesn't belong in that working bag."
Walking closer to Santana, Brittany takes over the bag. In one smooth motion she opens the bag. Not really understanding why the bag didn't open when Santana tried it she gives Santana an amused look before she uncoveres it. Giving a small gasp and picking up a big red ribbon she gives a questioning look towards the singer.
"It's uh … it's a ribbon for the Christmas wreath you brought home the other night?"
Giving her a bone crushing hug Brittany answers happily. "It's perfect San, thanks. Come on, we can hang it up together on our door!"
After they hang up the wreath Santana starts cooking. Before Brittany walks towards the living room she turns back around. "Oh wait. I was going to start my movie for the night, I'm a few nights behind. But since you're here … I'll wait."
Giving the dancer a pleading look Santana answers. "No please. One step at a time babe, you can start already, I promise I'll be no Gringe or Scrooge or whoever is what, but I can't watch more than one Christmas movie in a year." Seeing Brittany pout she hesitates. "Fine, I'll watch two movies with you."
… "All right five. But that's it! And I can do laundry or something else during. Plus I get to have a veto to distract you for one whole movie."
Twinkles appear in crystal blue eyes. "Deal! I'll start with the movie then. Shout if you need any help honeybear."
An hour later
After walking to the couch, asking Brittany where she last put the salt the dancer turns around dramatically. "Why am I doing this to myself?"
"Don't ask me that. I don't know why you're torturing yourself with these bad movies"
… After looking at the screen for several seconds Santana speaks up again.
"Don't tell me it's been movies like this the whole week? I've only been watching for ten seconds and I'm already wishing for an electricity drop out in the city so I won't have to see this anymore."
"Sometimes I don't know why I'm doing this either San. But look at Lady Tubbington. She loves watching those movies. I feel like she's more addicted to this than me. Anyway, now be silent. It's only fifteen more minutes."
"That's perfect. Dinner will be ready in twenty."
Twenty-five minutes later, during dinner
"YES! Come on San. I want to make a gingerbread house! And bake Christmas cookies. Ooh, and buy a suit for lady Tubbington. And matching onesies! Plus we should definitely put some more lights around the house. And a human sized nutcracker on the front porch! And…"
"Okay slow done B. No, no, no and no. This home ain't a set for a Christmas movie. Nobody in real life does those things."
One eyebrow raises, combined with a pout. A signature look from Brittany that she really wants it, but playful enough that she'll let it go if Santana really doesn't want anything to do with it.
Santana, being with Brittany for a long time now, knows every small signal the blonde has. She realises that this is one of those things she can work on. A thoughtful action trying to find a way to come closer together again. "Fine. We can do one of those things."
A fiercer Pierce-pout comes into view. Santana looks away, sternly trying to avoid caving in. It's to no avail. "Fine, we'll go to the store and we'll see there. BUT, we stay together. I am going to be the judge of what is … manageable to put into this house and what not."
Jumping up with joy Brittany walks around the dining table and gives Santana a bear hug. "Thank you San, it's all I wanted. I can't wait for tomorrow!"
In the shop
Santana is having a full on panic attack. Everywhere you look there's trouble. Rushed people, creepy people, random people, yelling children, … "Why o why did I think it was a good idea to go to a Christmas themed store the weekend before Christmas?"
"It's part of our Christmas tradition now! Our kids are going to love it. People all over the place not knowing what to buy. Christmas music. Traffic jams. It's perfect!"
There's a kid almost running into them. Good thing Santana saw it coming and held Brittany back. "We've got very different opinions on the definition of perfect."
Taking a step closer to Santana, Brittany whispers in her ear. "Thank you San for trying. I know you hate these things, but I really appreciate it."
Brittany's attention is stolen away by something close by. She points to a nearby item. "Ooh San look! It's a Santa costume for Lady Tubbington!"
Before Brittany can take the last costume an older lady grabs it before Britt can. Santana, despite not wanting to buy the thing, loses it.
"HEY! Excuse me lady, my wife saw it first. Please give it to us."
The lady looks annoyed and walks away, not backing down from the slightly aggressive Santana.
Santana almost grabs the lady by the arm before Brittany prevents that from happening. "You better watch out woman. I don't know who made you think you're the queen of the store. But I'm from Lima Heights. You give my wife the thing now or I swear I'll"
Before she can finish her sentence Brittany has already pulled Santana to another aisle. "Babe, despite how much you're turning me on right now, we still got some shopping to do. No need to make a fuss about one thing. We'll find something else. Plus, last time I tried to put a suit on her I've never found it back. I swear she burned it or something."
The fact that Brittany became already obsessed about something else in the store made Santana let go off the previous conversation she had with the older lady.
Looking around in the store, completely Christmas themed, she hopes Brittany's almost finished with shopping.
Giving her time to think she's trying to find something to sweep her wife of her feet. A romantic and sorry kind of gesture. To let Brittany see she's all in. That she's sorry. And that she'll definitely try her best to fix whatever made Brittany insecure.
There are a thousand things in this store she could use to either buy or plan something Christmassy to give to Britt. But is this a Santana kind of way to show Brittany how much she loves her? Isn't she better in planning impromptu dates or something?
Wait … Santana got it.
Santana Lopez is going to plan a Christmas themed date on Christmas eve. Screw the plans of a glee reunion on the same night. The people from the glee club Brittany and her want to see they'll meet on another day.
She won't have to wait long. Apparently it was a mutual plan to come together on New year's eve too… Yeah, no way she can get out of the two plans.
This Christmas eve is for her and Brittany though, and only them.
Once they've passed by the checkout Santana realises Brittany really didn't go all in. She bought a gingerbread baking kit and some extra decorations … that's it. Feeling a bit guilty again Santana grumbles out an excuse about forgetting something in the store and that Brittany should already start loading the car.
Once Brittany is out of sight she rushes to the clothes department. After finding matching Christmas themed onesies that were available in their size Santana runs back to the checkout. Swallowing her pride she gives the Christmas themed clothes to the cashier.
The cashier, a young teenage boy, gives her a weird look. Feeling shame come up (this is Santana Lopez we're talking about. She's badass. She doesn't buy Christmas things. She definitely doesn't buy matching clothes!), Snixx takes over for a minute.
"What? Do I not look like a person who buys matching onesies for Christmas? … Well you're right. But my wife does. That's called love. You should learn something from that. Treat your girlfri… significant other like they're a miracle fallen into your lap and never let them go… And never forget that! So whatever, DON'T judge me for buying these onesies! I love my wife."
When she paid a ridiculous amount of money she walks to the parking lot where they parked their car. Brittany is already seated at the front wheel, looking around. Probably searching for Santana.
Just as Santana passed another parked car they make eye contact. Blue eyes flash between Santana's eyes and the bag she has with her. After she put her bag in the car trunk she sits down. The only thing she mentions is that she bought a surprise that Brittany can open tonight and that they'll be able to use it when they're watching a movie together.
Christmas eve
The past week has been a lot better. It sounds so cliché, but talking out your problems and finding a way to compromise is a really great solution. Though Santana still has a secret Christmas date on her sleeve, there's been a much lighter atmosphere at home.
Brittany is very glad her wife is trying. Sure, she's not home before five forty-five most of the times. But it's not after seven ever again. Santana did promise to make a clearer schedule with her coworkers that will start at the beginning of next year.
Plus Santana watched two Christmas movies this week (including one short movie). In her opinion the slowest hours of the day. But … she did have Brittany next to her, so that made up for a lot of it. In return they watched two action movies on the other nights, so Santana could have some enjoyment in the watching-department too.
For the moment the duo is enjoying the homemade meal they made together. Brittany takes a forkful from her plate and brings the cutlery towards Santana's mouth, making airplane sounds on the way.
Rolling her eyes San responses "Really Britt? How old are we?"
Still, she opens her mouth anyway, before realising Brittany is playing hard to get. Every time she tries to take a taste the blonde takes the fork further away from her again.
Mischievous eyes are lighting up. "Is there a problem San?"
The singer responses "Haha, very funny." She grabs Brittany's hand, avoiding another playful retreat. The blonde gasps at Santana's action. "Not fair!"
"Well I don't care." Santana responds in a light voice. "And hurry up, I've got some things planned for this evening before we need to watch another movie."
Curious eyes look up from twirling the knife around on her plate. "What do you mean, you've got things planned?"
Santana acts nonchalant, trying her hardest to not break that exterior, secretly feeling damn proud of succeeding in surprising her wife. "Yeah. I've got a date with a super-hot woman. I don't want it to start late."
At that the dancer begins to eat very rapidly. After not even a minute she shouts out. "Done! Now where are we going?"
Shrugging her shoulders she answers. "Who said you were my date?"
Getting up and putting the plates in the dishwasher Brittany 'accidentally' bumps into Santana on the way. When everything is put away Santana stops Brittany. "Wait Britt, I'm just going to change real quick."
Looking towards her own clothes she asks "Do I need to change too?"
"Nope, jeans and a hoodie is perfect. I'm just going to change my skirt really quick, I don't want to get cold."
After Santana changed she grabs Brittany's hand towards the front door. "Now don't move B, I'm planning on doing some very Christmas-movie stereotype … stuff."
The dancer stands still as best as she can, curiously looking towards her wife, seeing what she has up her sleeve already.
Santana grabs Brittany's coat, scarf and beanie. She assists Brittany in putting on her coat before putting the bonnet on her head and gently wrapping the scarf around her neck. The finishing touch is giving a gentle kiss on the blonde's nose. Brittany melts at the gesture.
"Okay, so the thing is … I was thinking a lot about what things to do on our date. But then I thought … isn't it most important we're together? But then again .. one or two fun activities can never go wrong either right? So come on, our destination is not far away."
Squealing in delight Brittany follows her wife outside.
Once they've arrived at a small city town centre they walk towards a local bar. Santana takes the initiative and whispers something to the barman. After walking away and paying she walks towards her wife, careful to not spill a drop of their drink.
"So, this is called gluhwein. One of your movies talked about it. It's like wine with a sweet taste or something. This was the only bar in the area that served it. Plus, there's a live band playing Christmas music all night long."
Giving a gentle squeeze in Santana's hand Brittany expresses her thanks. After both tasting the drink they sort of agree it's not their thing.
Not at all.
Trying their best finishing their drink while a local band is playing Christmas songs on the background they talk about their plans for the New year.
"I can't wait to see the glee club again. It's been such a long time."
Giving Brittany a strange look Santana answers. "You think? I think it hasn't been long enough. I'm so glad you agreed to have our own night on Christmas eve. They'll probably have some sort of random karaoke night or something. At least on new year's eve I can keep myself more busy with the champagne … and you."
Brittany hits Santana on the arm. "San, why are you always talking so mean about the glee club? I know you secretly love them. You were the one who definitely wanted to go to the reunion this year!" Taking another sip of her drink Brittany grimaces. "Trust me, I like those people, but two nights in one week is too much for me nowadays too. I was actually very surprised, in a positive way, that you suggested to spent this evening with just the two of us."
Swaying in her seat on the music Brittany has some trouble staying seated. "Do we have a number ready to perform on the new year's? If everyone is going to do an impromptu performance, then we should too right?"
After Santana's has almost drank up half of her cup she answers. "Hmm, you're right Britt. We should come up with a nice duet? Or maybe something nostalgic like Christmas wrapping?"
"Ooh Great idea San. We can go with that!"
…
Once they've finished their drinks Santana decides it's time for part two of the date… ice skating.
Santana hates ice skating. Brittany has complained and begged Santana to go skating together her whole life, but she never agreed to it. Figuring she had to step up her game a bit on this date, the social worker decided to make this the day she will go skating with Brittany. Pride and hurt be damned.
And so they do. Brittany on cloud nine. Santana secretly on cloud nine because her wife is. Of course Brittany has the whole skating thing figured out the second she stands on the ice, while Santana's body has more contact with the ice then her skates have.
It's a funny combination. A gracious dancer, making twirls and jumps all together and … Santana. Luckily Santana has married a knight in shining armour. Holding her hand and keeping her steady almost the entire time Brittany makes sure she doesn't hurt herself.
"Come on San, it's really not that difficult to skate backward. Look, I'll show you."
The dancer skates a full circle around her wife, trying to show her how she can skate like that. After giving it a few tries Santana gives up. The only thing it ends up in is Brittany gracefully catching her before she falls down.
"Ugh Britt, I can't! Just hold my hand and do whatever you want to do from tricks. I'll just watch."
An hour later they both feel a bit tired (or Santana feels tired and Brittany feels sorry for her wife so she said she felt tired). After switching their ice skates at the counter they go to a bench to put on their regular shoes again.
Massaging her own feet Santana starts complaining. "My feet hurt. I'm never going ice skating ever again."
"Aw come on San, just because you're not the most talented skater on the ice rink shouldn't mean you never want to do it again. It was awesome."
A small droplet of snow falls down on their faces. Brittany gasps in delight.
"Look San, it's snowing."
"This is perfect." Making a mental high five with her own mind she answers. "Wait wait Britt! Now we have to dance, just like in the movies!" Santana says in an excited high pitch voice.
"I thought you weren't excited about this stuff and you were just doing it for me?"
Scrapping her throat Santana lowers her voice. "I'm not. I'm just … you know"
Helping her wife out of her misery she grabs Santana's hand and starts swaying on the beat from the music that's playing at the skating ring.
Dancing very closely together they feel more connected than ever. "This is perfect San. Thank you for this date."
"Yeah well, you deserve it. Thank you for sticking up with me these past few months. Thank you for giving me time to adjust to a new job. You made me realise I was starting to lose my way in good time-management." … "I love you B."
"Hmm, I love you too San." After giving each other some more gentle kisses, things start to heat up ridiculously fast. The blonde realises quickly that they're still in a very public place … with very many children around. Regretfully taking a step back from Santana she tries to sober up a bit.
Looking into dark brown eyes makes her almost waver from her plan. "Now what do you say we finish this evening at home? The bedroom scenes are never insinuated in the movies… but shall we make it a scene in our movie? … Or is there something else planned?"
Still under the blondes spell the Latina is having some trouble looking away from the dark eyes her wife is giving her right now. Shaking her own head a bit she tries to think. "Uh no, I don't think so. At one moment I thought of asking Rachel and Kurt to come carolling at our house, but then I decided against that, afraid they wouldn't leave us alone for the whole evening… And baking our gingerbread house is something we could do tomorrow?"
Grabbing Santana's scarf it's now Brittany who wraps it around her wife's neck. Giving her a warm hug and another kiss, a smooth voice speaks up. "Merry Christmas B. I love you"
When the song is finished, Brittany grabs Santana's hand and together they practically run back to their car to go back to their warm cozy house. Their forever together home.
After starting the car up Brittany grabs Santana's leg, a tiny bit too high, essentially making Santana lose control over the steering wheel for a second. In a hushed voice she whispers in her ear. "Love you too Santana, and Merry Christmas… to all and to all a good night!"
Loud laughter erupts from Santana. "Really B? How many Christmas themed quotes from movies should I expect for the coming time?"
Sitting back up properly into her own seat joyful eyes look lovingly to her wife. "Probably until the new year's. If you believe, anything is possible."
Putting her left hand against her forehead Santana sighs with humour in her tone. "As long as you keep making sense I'll tolerate it."
"Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to."
It's like that for the whole car ride. Every time Santana gives a response Brittany picks out a word from it and finds some random quote, said in one of her movies. Once they've arrived at home Santana was hoping to continue where they left off.
Cooled down a bit from the car ride, it took some convincing. Britany wanted to not interrupt her Christmas tradition, and watch a movie first.
Good thing Santana is adaptive. She hadn't used her card to distract Brittany while watching a movie… It didn't take much convincing. The movie was quickly put on pause and miraculously it's now an hour later.
After searching for her clothes Brittany decides that's a problem for tomorrow. Santana grabbed their matching onesies from the bedroom and after dressing up she installs herself in Brittany's lap, getting settled for the evening. When the movie starts Santana speaks up. "Is it okay I'll start a countdown to when these themed movies will end?"
Hugging Santana close Brittany fails to hear (or ignores) the sarcasm in her message. "Sure, let's make it a holiday calendar or something. Ow, and when this marathon is over, maybe then I'll start watching valentine's day movies or something. Ooh, then we can decorate our house in pink colours!"
Closing her eyes, both feeling completely at ease and happy with each other, Santana responds. "One holiday at a time B. One holiday at a time."
The end