Author's Note: Merry Christmas Eve! This is my favorite one but also where the fast pace really is prevalent, so please forgive me.
Enjoy and let me know what you think!
o0o
Part II: Married
They kept mostly to themselves after that, staying away from the rest of the village. They both fought too much and not in a married type of way, and it would be a dead giveaway that their marriage wasn't remotely real.
It may not have been the smartest move since two weeks later, winter set in for the long haul, and it was constantly snowing. As it was, a storm was currently ongoing, and they both were going stir crazy. It didn't help that they couldn't escape each other's presence.
"Would you stop!" Daniel reached his limit for tolerating her for the day, and her constant pacing and whining was giving him a headache.
"But I'm bored!" Vala whined and fell into the chair next to him.
"And that's my problem, why?"
She shifted her chair closer and rested her chin on his shoulder. "You are my husband," she said slyly. "We could always…" she paused for dramatic effect and jerked her head towards the bedroom. "You know…consummate our marriage."
He stared at her blankly. "Hard pass," he declared deadpan and moved his shoulder.
Vala growled. "Fine," she pouted like a child. "At least talk to me!"
"About?"
"Literally anything."
Daniel perked up at that and smiled deviously. She was so going to regret that.
o0o
Despite his original intention to torture her with his knowledge on ancient cultures and languages, it somehow turned into real conversations.
They talked about things. Life, adventures, events they experienced – all of it. Six weeks into their isolation, they had gotten to know each other fairly well, and Daniel could honestly call her his friend – with full sincerity. It took a while, but he got her to open up and be honest with him for a change. There were still instances where the woman he originally met on Prometheus came out, but he now knew her well enough to know it was just her coping mechanism.
There were certainly topics they stayed away from but conversing with each other was honestly like the only thing they were able to do to entertain themselves, so they talked – a lot. Recently, it was about their adventures involving the Stargate and space travel. Daniel had oodles of stories to share, and it turns out, so did she and they didn't all involve stealing or swindling someone.
They were comfortable with each other, and it was pretty much all he wanted in the situation.
"Fuck, it's freezing," Vala complained and snuggled up to him on the couch with a thick blanket wrapped around her.
Okay, she may be a little too comfortable, but he was getting the sense she was someone who needed physical touch to stay grounded. It was probably also her love language – not that it was applicable here.
"Well, there's a raging blizzard happening outside," he responded wryly and rearranged the blanket she had to cover both of them.
She was right about it being freezing. They had a fire going, but they decided to use the fuel sparingly just in case. The people of the planet assured them it would be enough to last, but they were also used to the climate, unlike the two of them. He spent most of his time underground in a temperature controlled environment, so what did he know about surviving a harsh winter? It was better to err on the side of caution.
"Yes thank you, darling," she said sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed."
"You're welcome," he teased and laughed when she hit him. "So violent. Are you like this with all your husbands?" It took a while, but he was finally about to make light of their marital status.
She twisted her head so she could see his face. "Oh, please. I was much worse to them," she quipped before stroking his cheek. "Consider yourself lucky. I like you more."
Daniel liked to think she was kidding, but something about her words didn't sit right with him. "Have you?" he asked, setting all joking aside. "Been married before, I mean?"
Vala's face fell flat and her eyes moved to the wall across the room. "Yes," was all she said.
He tried not to be surprised that she answered honestly, but he was. "Are you still married?" Because if she was, that could definitely make their own marriage null and void.
He felt her head shake against his shoulder. "No. I would've told you if I were," her fingers played with the blanket.
Daniel decided to fish for more information. "Just once or…" he trailed off.
Vala took a deep breath before saying, "Officially twice."
He frowned – he wasn't sure what to make of her answer. "But there was an unofficial time?"
"That depends."
"On?"
"On whether or not you count betrothals."
His eyebrows shot up. So she'd been engaged at one time. "Technically, they don't," he retorted. "But why didn't you marry him?"
Vala suddenly shot up from their warm cocoon, surprising Daniel, and he quickly fixed the blankets to keep the warmth in.
"Vala?" he asked in concern.
She marched over to one of the kitchen cabinets. "I need a drink if we're going to have this conversation," she stated and grabbed an entire bottle of a strong liquor that actually seemed to have some effect on her.
He frowned as she took a long drink straight from the bottle. "Let me get this straight – you were married twice, but it's actually an engagement that upsets you, and not the two divorces."
Instead of moving back to the couch, Vala leaned against their table, and continued to drink from the bottle. "How do you know they both ended in divorce?"
Daniel gave her a knowing stare. "Didn't they?"
Her lips twisted. "Not the point."
He watched as she took another drink. "Tell me about him," he asked softly. "Why was he special?"
Vala shivered as the chill in the room finally got to her, and he opened up the mountain of blankets he was under on the couch. She hesitated for a second before accepting the invitation. "He loved me unconditionally," she confessed once she was settled under the blankets again. "Only three people in my life had loved me like that before him, and they were all women – mother, grandmother, and Ferrah."
Daniel understood that more than most people. He went most of his childhood without that and didn't find it until he met Sha're. "What happened to him? Why didn't you marry him?"
She burrowed further into his side. "Qetesh." She drank more the liquid from the bottle.
Her one word answer gave him all the information he needed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry."
She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "He deserved better than me," she admitted quietly. "While I loved him, it wasn't in the way he deserved. I wouldn't have married him for the right reasons had I not been selected for the Choosing."
Daniel noticed she said that a lot – that people deserved better. She said that multiple times when it came to Ferrah. "Can I ask you something?" he asked cautiously.
Vala tensed at his tone. "You can, but I reserve the right to not answer."
He took a second to think before nodding. "Fair enough," he muttered. "More than once you said that it should've been you and not Ferrah…what did you mean by that? I mean, I know you meant that she should be alive and not you, but why?"
She didn't respond. She just drank the amber liquid and stared blankly ahead of her.
After a good solid ten minutes, he gave up hope that she would say anything, but then she did. "Because she was good – pure," she whispered hoarsely. "Untainted by the cruelty and horrors of our galaxy. It was too late for me – Qetesh destroyed what little I had."
It somehow hurt him that she truly believed that. "Vala, that's not true." He knew it was useless to tell her that, but he couldn't not say it. "And it certainly doesn't mean you deserve to be dead over her."
She scoffed in disbelief. "Whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter. I still wish I was dead, and she was alive," she said blandly. "She still had something to live for. I don't, and I'm so tired of just surviving."
Daniel tightened his hold on her and pulled her even closer. She meant every word, and it was breaking his heart. He doubted there would ever be another moment when Vala Mal Doran was this vulnerable and honest with him. "Vala…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say. He hated that words were failing him.
"She was selected too, you know," she mumbled. "When the Jaffa came to our world for Qetesh's new host."
That surprised him. "Really?"
He felt her nod. "I couldn't let her be taken. She was the little sister I never had, and I had to protect her."
Intrigued, he asked, "What did you do?"
"I begged the First Prime not to take her. I told him she was ill, and removing her from the planet could kill her."
Despite himself, he felt his face stretch into a smile. He couldn't help but admire her creativity. "I'm taking it worked?"
"Yeah," she whispered. "They tossed her away like a sack of potatoes and left with me. You know the rest."
He did, though he wished he didn't. Being a host to a sex goddess probably left a scar so big on her, he couldn't even fathom the amount of damage that parasite did to her. "You were a good sister to her. You made a selfless sacrifice for her."
"I had to. Not only was she my little sister, she had more to live for."
Daniel was curious if she always thought of herself as this unimportant. The way she talked about it, it made him believe she thought she was worthless. The thought of anyone ever making her feel like that angered him in a way he didn't know was possible, and it took him by surprise.
He took a deep breath to cool the sudden rise in his temper. "How? You were the one engaged."
"So was she." Of course, she was. "I know what you're thinking, but she loved her betrothed in a way I didn't love mine. She deserved the chance to be happy."
And you didn't? he silently asked. "And yet, she was more than willing to leave your planet when we escaped."
"He died a year later from a disease," she mumbled. "But I regret nothing, and I would do it again."
"I know," he had no doubt about that. "I get that you grew up protecting her. You've always put her first, and that's an honorable thing to do," he paused and debated if he wanted to continue, but he felt like it had to be said. "But Vala, somewhere along the lines, Ferrah no longer needed protecting. It was her turn to protect you, and that's what she did – she wanted to. Don't take that away from her by saying her sacrifice was in vain. Don't dishonor her like that."
"It goes against all my instincts," she sniffed and brushed away from fallen tears.
"I know it does. I know it doesn't feel natural," he knew that all too well. "But it's your turn to live and not just survive. Honor her by doing just that." It took him a long time to learn that after Sha're died.
Funny, he hadn't thought about Sha're in a while. His mind briefly went there when he found out got married again without knowing it, but other than that, it had been months. The mere thought saddened him and he took the bottle from Vala's tight grip before gulping down some.
Vala stared at him with a funny expression on her face. "Your turn."
"My turn for what?" Daniel asked just before taking another long sip, relishing the burn going down his throat.
Her face softened. "Your turn to share the heavy sorrow you carry around."
He was surprised that she even noticed. He opened his mouth, but she knew he was going to deny it and beat him to the punch. "I see it, Daniel. I saw it when we first, on that planet, here, when you told me we were married, and every time someone refers to me as your wife."
He lowered the bottle between them before rubbing his face. "Vala…"
"What was her name?" she interrupted softly. She wasn't going to let him get away with not telling her. "Come on, Daniel. I just shared my dark past with you. The least you could do is open up as well. We're married, after all. Spouses share things like this."
Daniel huffed, unamused. "Our marriage isn't your typical run of the mill marriage." he muttered darkly.
Vala shrugged nonchalantly. "So? We're married nonetheless," she pointed out. "Her name, Daniel."
He squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall to the back of the couch. "Sha're," he murmured. "She was my wife."
He heard and felt her shift next to him. The next thing he knew, she was straddling him. His eyes flew open, and he was about to berate her when he saw that she meant nothing sexual about her position. Instead, she looked concerned and like she wanted to comfort him. "I suspected as much," she said softly, and cupped his cheek. "What was she like?"
Daniel sighed before grabbing the bottle. "I'm gonna need a more drink if we're going to have this conversation," he tried to quip, but it fell flat. He took a long swig before starting "I met Sha're the first time we went through the Stargate…"
That's how they spent the rest of the day – drinking and talking. The alcohol helped them open up more about the things they kept close to the vest, and in a way, Daniel was thankful. He got to know Vala in a whole new and deeper way, and he felt a lot closer to her. There was now a connection between them that wasn't there before. In fact, he came to realize that he actually liked his wife – a lot.
He wasn't sure who made the first move. It didn't help that they were a little past tipsy but not quite drunk – either way, one of them kissed the other, which somehow led to them being naked in bed.
o0o
Before he was even fully awake, Daniel noticed something was different. There was an odd pressure on top of his chest. It was warm – which it never was when it was his turn for the floor, which it was. His head had a slight ache, but the rest of his body felt more relaxed than it had in ages – there was a sense of contentment he felt that he hadn't in a long time.
The second he opened his eyes and saw his naked wife on top of his equally naked body, the events of yesterday rushed back to him, and he felt his cheeks flush at the memories and images that flooded his brain. He waited for the inevitable guilt, but it never came, puzzling him to no end.
Well, an annulment is out the window now.
And he couldn't care less. Last night changed the dynamic of their relationship, and he found himself almost giddy at the prospect. He wanted to explore this new possibility with Vala and where it would lead – if it would lead to something. His only fear was her pulling away. Opening up and being vulnerable was hard for her – harder than it was for him, and he didn't think that was possible.
He knew he would have to step up and fight a little harder for the relationship. He would have to assure her it was worth it, and they were worth fighting for. It would not only push her out of her comfort zone, but his as well. He typically needed to be on the receiving end of that, but Vala was much more jaded and gun shy than he was – again, never thought that'd be possible. But what choice did he have – do it and have a shot at a real relationship or don't and let it crumble into nothing.
It was an easy choice for him.
"If you're having regrets about last night, please keep them to yourself," Vala muttered into his chest, startling him out of his thoughts. "I'm much too warm and comfortable to move at the moment." To make her point, she snuggled even closer.
He grinned to himself. He should've known she was a cuddler. Though he did expect her to pull away once she woke, but he was glad he was wrong. "I don't regret anything." He was being completely sincere, but there was something nagging at his brain. "But we do have to talk about last night."
She made a noise of protest. "No!" she whined like a toddler. "I don't wanna hear about it being a mistake or how it won't happen again."
Funny, in another life, that is exactly how he would've responded. The thought of potentially rejecting her and what they could have saddened him. He shifted their positions, so she was on her back and he was hovering over her. He waited until she opened her eyes, but when she did, she wouldn't look at him and kept them downcast.
"Hey," he mumbled softly, tilting her chin, and waited for their eyes to meet. "I'm not going to say it was a mistake, because it wasn't, and it is definitely happening again."
Daniel felt her body relax underneath him, and a small smile twitched on her lips. "But?" she asked expectantly.
"But there's something important we need to talk about," he insisted as he brushed some hair away from her face.
"And that is?" she asked as she fidgeted.
He paused, suddenly worried about the conversation he was about to have. "We didn't use protection," he told her. "I mean, I'm clean, but that's not really what I'm worried about." His main concern right now wasn't an STD.
Vala frowned at him. "What?"
He frowned back. Why was she so calm about this? He was freaking out inside. "Vala, I think it's a little too soon in our relationship to add a pregnancy into the mix." Her expression changed to something he couldn't decipher, and it worried him that she may be taking his words wrong. "I mean, if last night did result in that, I swear I'd want it, and love it, but I'm just saying we should be more careful in the future."
She completely froze underneath him. "Y-you're talking about a baby," she said slowly as if she didn't fully comprehend him.
He stared at her peculiarly. "Yeah," he said it like it was obvious. "We didn't use anything, and I didn't pull out at any of the –"
Vala rolled away from him, sitting up and putting her back to him. "You don't have to worry about that," she said in a small voice and wrapped a blanket around her naked body.
Daniel observed her still form, noting the way she made herself small by pulling her knees to her chest and hugging her legs tightly. "Vala?" he asked cautiously. He was missing something – something that was causing her pain, and he didn't like it.
He heard her sigh. "I can't get pregnant," he heard her muffled reply. "Qetesh –" she stopped herself from continuing but he didn't need her to.
He understood completely. His arm curled around her, and he pulled her to him, lowering them to the bed again so they were spooning. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart" he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.
Vala sniffed. "I'm sorry you got stuck with me as a wife," she whimpered. "Especially when it'll be harder to get rid of me now."
Daniel instantly knew she was thinking of Ferrah and if she survived instead of Vala, they'd most likely be married and have the potential for children. The thing was, he highly doubted he and Ferrah would've ever gotten to this point. One day he would make her realize she was just as equally important as her cousin, if not more. She wasn't inferior to the other woman. He would spend however long it would take for her to recognize that she wasn't worthless.
And if that's how she really felt, he was immensely glad an annulment wasn't an option, and she couldn't get rid of him as easily now.
"Hey, hey," he turned her around and hovered over her again. "First of all, I don't want to get rid of you, and you better not try to make me want to by pushing me away, do you understand?" He waited for her to acknowledge him. "Second, I don't care if we have kids or not. That's not important – you are. I don't need them, but I honestly believe I need you."
Vala bit her bottom lip. "You say that now, but it could change," she argued weakly. "People always leave."
Daniel understood that more than most. People always left him too, but he was determined to never allow that to happen to either of them ever again. "I'm not going anywhere," he swore to her. "You can't get rid of me, and you better not try."
He saw the internal struggle she was having with whether or not she believed him. No matter what she said, he knew she wouldn't fully trust him in that regard, and he was okay with that. He would just have to prove her wrong.
o0o
Not having to worry about impregnating Vala made things much more fun. They could be as reckless as they wanted without worrying – though it probably couldn't be classified as reckless if there was no risk. Either way, it was a nice peace of mind – there wasn't much else to do when it was constantly snowing and trapping them indoors…
Every now and then, Vala would get that look in her eye – like she was worried he would come to regret it someday – but he always reassured her it didn't matter to him. Right now, his focus was on them and building a healthy relationship. If down the line they decided children would be nice, he always told her they had options. He grew up in foster care, always feeling unwanted and unloved, and he would love to change that for another child. He didn't know if she believed him completely on that, but it always seemed to reassure her in the moment.
It wasn't until three months after consummating their marriage when he started to notice the gradual changes in her. They were subtle and he probably would've never put two and two together if he hadn't been trapped in the same house with her for months on end, but he was and he noticed. Daniel didn't say anything. He knew her well enough by now to know she wouldn't take anything he said seriously, so he decided to observe for the time being.
But of course, there was always something to force him to break the silence, and if her puking her guts out for the fourth day in a row wasn't reason enough, he didn't know what was – and he wasn't even counting the multiple times she felt nauseous over the last few months.
"Vala," he started cautiously as he held her after a particularly bad episode with what he was thinking was morning sickness, "do you think we should talk about what this is?"
She moaned. "You mean my body's intolerance for certain foods?" she griped. "Not particularly."
They had been trying different canned food from the cellars lately, and it was possible Vala was reacting to that, but he liked his theory better. "Are you sure that's all it is? A reaction to the food?" he asked calmly as he ran his hand up and down her arm.
Vala angled her head so she could see his face. "Why? What else do you think it could be?
Daniel took a second to figure out if he really wanted to broach the topic, but he felt like they had to – just in case. "Well, I'm no expert, but all the nausea and throwing might be an indicator of something else." He knew he sounded vague – saying the actual word might scare her off – so his hand slipped to her stomach, and he hoped she understood his meaning.
He didn't have to worry – she did. Vala stiffened a second after his hand hit her belly. "Y-you think I'm…that there's a…" she stumbled over her words and couldn't get herself to say 'pregnant,' or 'baby.'
"I think we need to at least consider the possibility," he said gently. "You've been nauseous for weeks, you've been throwing on and off, you've never had your period this whole time here, and I swear your boobs are getting bigger, not to mention more sensitive."
Maybe he was making too big of a deal out of things. Maybe he was seeing things that weren't there because he subconsciously wanted a baby – who knew. The thing was, he was sure he wasn't. He knew her body pretty well by now and had been observing it since he first got suspicious a month ago.
"If I could move without throwing up again, I'd hit you," he heard more than a hint of venom in her voice. "You know it's not possible."
Daniel rested his chin on her head and hugged her tighter to him. "I know, and I didn't want to say anything…but, sweetheart, the symptoms are there."
Vala scoffed. "My body is fucked up, Daniel," she told him sadly. "I haven't gotten my period because it's sporadic and inconsistent. I only get three to four times a year, and I go months without getting it. Sometimes I get the symptoms without the actual bleeding. I'm sure that's all this is."
He wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. Although he had to admit that she did make some good points, it didn't matter who was right or wrong. What mattered was her state of mind and he understood this wasn't something she could mentally deal with right now. If he was right, it could wait – the evidence would only grow stronger in his favor, and hopefully she would be able to become accustomed enough to accept it.
But for now, he'd wait. "You're right. I'm sorry," he kissed her head.
He realized something though – he wouldn't mind being right.
It wasn't the last time something triggered his suspicions, and whenever it did, he would just stare at her, silently begging her to see what he was seeing.
She would catch his stare and sigh in exasperation. "Stop looking at me like that – I'm not pregnant!"
But he wouldn't because he knew he was right. He didn't say anything – he knew it wouldn't make a difference – and waited for the evidence to be so overwhelming that there couldn't be another explanation. Like their baby coming out of her.
o0o
Being married to Daniel Jackson was exhausting.
It could be hard, especially with his high sense of morality, his need to do the right thing, his wicked intelligence, and so much more. It was hard to live up to his high standard – not that he ever asked her to. It was just how he lived, and she couldn't help but want to follow.
But being his wife could also be exhilarating. It was beyond comprehension sometimes the way he saw her. He never tried to change her, but instead wanted to get to know her – to understand her. He accepted her for who she was. It had been a long time since anyone outside her family had. She rather liked it.
He made her feel important, like she mattered to him. She felt cared for in a way she never had before. She was pretty sure that's why she felt unworthy of him every time she caught him eyeing her stomach. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he wanted a child, and it was something she was incapable of giving him. He was seeing only what he wanted to see, despite his insistence. She knew her body, and there was no way a child could survive in it.
She'd change it in a heartbeat if she could if it meant giving him that, and that's why she had to let him go once spring was here. She'd come to realize she was in love with him and staying when he obviously desired something she lacked the ability for wasn't fair to him. He could talk about adopting all he wanted, but deep down it wasn't what he truly wanted. Letting him go would be hard, but it would be for the best.
Vala held in a sigh, not wanting to wake Daniel up. She was going to have to pull away soon, and it was going to be tremendously hard. He was going to be so confused and hurt that her heart ached at doing that to him, but it was a necessary evil.
Suddenly, she gasped.
She froze, waiting to see if it would happen again, and when it did, she gasped and she clutched her stomach. She had avoided the area ever since Daniel became convinced she was pregnant and hadn't realized she developed a small bump. And something was moving inside that bump.
Vala sat up. "Daniel!" She heard the hysteria in her own tone, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
She felt the bed dip as he moved. "What?" he mumbled sleepily. When he saw the terror in her eyes and her hand on her stomach, he was instantly up. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it the baby?"
Despite her opposition to the idea, he never stopped believing she was pregnant. He was always careful around her, and never openly acknowledged the baby. Considering he just did without hesitation spoke to how concerned he was for the two of them.
Vala felt it move in her again and she whimpered.
Daniel glanced between her and her belly, looking absolutely terrified. "I'm gonna get help," he promised as he pressed a kiss to her head.
He tried to leave the bed, but she grabbed his arm. "Daniel," her grip tightened, not wanting him to leave. Sensing her worry, he scooted closer. Once his arms were around her, she felt a wave of calm overcome her. "I think there's something in there," she whispered. "Something alive."
All tension left his body and she both heard and felt his sigh of relief. "You can feel it?" he asked gently as his hand came to rest next to her on the small bump.
Vala nodded, leaning into his chest. "There's something moving, Daniel."
Daniel kissed the side of her neck as his hand rubbed small circles on her back "That's our baby, sweetheart," he told her hesitantly.
"But it's impossible," she argued weakly. She was told by two different doctors children weren't in her future, but it was hard to refute the evidence. There wasn't just a thing growing inside her – it was alive. "How is this happening?"
She felt him shrug. "I don't know, and I honestly don't care. I only care that it is happening." He tilted her chin so he could see her face. He smiled softly at her as he wiped away her tears. "You scared the fuck out of me," he confessed, resting their foreheads together. "I thought something was wrong with one of you."
Without her permission, she smiled at him. "I remember," she said with amusement. "If you haven't noticed, there's a severe storm happening."
Daniel's cheeks went pink, and she giggled. "A little rain never hurt anybody. Don't underestimate my determination. I'd do whatever it takes to make sure you two are okay," he murmured lovingly. "Besides, I've died several times – I'd find a way back to you if it happened again."
Tears filled Vala's eyes, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You better," she said in a threatening tone before a large yawn overcame her.
"Okay, time to sleep," he gently laid her on the bed. "We'll talk more tomorrow."
As he settled behind her, she had one burning question she had to ask. "Daniel?"
"Yeah?"
She bit her lip. "D-do you think it's okay?"
His hand covered hers, resting them on her stomach. "Yeah, I do."
Vala didn't know if he was just saying that to appease her or if he really meant it – but she was choosing to believe it was genuine. He'd been right up 'til now. No reason to start doubting him now.
o0o
Daniel was careful around her the next morning. She was already having a hard time processing the reality of the situation, and the last thing he wanted to do was make it worse. Too bad she was too smart for her own good.
"Stop treating me like I'm made of glass," she snapped at him over breakfast. "You don't have to avoid it anymore."
He winced at his tactlessness. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I just wasn't sure if you were okay to talk about it."
Vala pushed her food around with her fork. "Honestly, I'm not sure I am, but I can't deny there's nothing there anymore."
She still looked worried. While she may have accepted there was indeed a baby, he was guessing she moved on to believing it wouldn't survive, and he couldn't do anything to alleviate those fears until they got back to Earth – which was still another two weeks away, according to the locals. Spring was definitely here – as wet as it may be, it was here, nonetheless. The mountains still had quite a bit of snow on it, but they'd been assured they could reach the Stargate in another two weeks – they just had to be prepared for more snow.
"I, uhh…I asked one of the women in the village if they had a midwife," seeing the look on her face, he quickly continued. "I was discreet, I promise…but it would really make me feel better if she took a look at you."
Maybe it would help her too.
She sighed but nodded in consent.
Daniel smiled in relief. "I'll go get her now," he grabbed their plates to put in the sink.
Vala grabbed his arm as he was passing by. "Daniel."
He frowned but stopped. "What is it?"
She was worried again but for a different reason this time. "I-I just want you to know I wasn't lying, I swear."
He had a feeling this might be a longer conversation and set the plates back down before taking a seat next to her. "About what?" he asked curiously.
"When I told you I couldn't have children," she explained. "I swear it was the truth. I wasn't trying to trap you. I don't know how this is happening!"
She was getting worked up and he knew it couldn't be good for her or the baby. "Hey," he said calmly and held her face in his hands. "Vala, I believe you. I know you would never do that," he assured her. "It's okay."
She pursed her lips. "But you said it was a bad idea."
His face scrunched in confusion as he tried to think of when he ever said that. The closest thing he could think of was the morning after they slept together for the first time, but he knew for a fact he never said it would be a bad idea.
"I never said that," he denied it gently. "I remember saying it might be too soon in our relationship to add a baby into the mix because we were still figuring stuff out. While I still believe that, it doesn't mean I don't want it or love it any less."
Vala still looked unconvinced. "You're not just saying that?"
Daniel met her eyes. "I wouldn't lie to you," he said vehemently. "And I will never lie to you, okay?"
It took her a second, but she eventually nodded in acceptance. He kissed the top of her head and shortly left with the promise of bringing back the midwife.
It didn't take long to find the midwife and bring her back. The woman instantly went to Vala and escorted her into the bedroom, leaving him standing in the middle of the small cabin by himself. It was probably for the best – he was just as anxious as Vala but in a different way.
He was curious how much a midwife with the current level of technology the planet possessed knew about pregnancy. Could she even tell if the baby was okay? How far along Vala was? His guess was somewhere around five or so months. Vala was able to sense its movement but only on the inside, leading him to believe she was early on in her second trimester. That was a good thing, right? Being in the second trimester? Didn't it mean less chance for a miscarriage?
Fuck, a miscarriage. It hadn't even crossed his mind that it could be a possibility. He wasn't a praying man, but he would literally pray to anyone for that not to happen. Not for himself, but for Vala. Don't get him wrong, he wanted the baby, but he couldn't lose both his wife and child at the same time. Losing it would devastate her, and he wasn't sure if there was anything he could say that would make her believe it wasn't her fault. She would blame herself and push him away, thinking it was better.
Despite what she said, she was more fragile than she let on – well, emotionally. Not that he was any better. They were both unstable wrecks and it was honestly baffling that they even had a functioning relationship, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He loved their relationship, however dysfunctional it could be – just like he loved her.
He'd almost forgotten when it felt like loving someone. He'd spent so long avoiding women, he'd forgotten what it felt like when he fell for one of them. He'd forgotten it was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. It was absolutely terrifying, especially given his track record with love, but it wasn't like he could avoid it this time. He'd come to the full realization of his feelings and there was no way we could ignore them now.
"She's getting dressed now, but she'll be along in a few minutes," the midwife's voice cut off his thoughts.
Daniel stood, suddenly feeling anxious. "Is…is everything okay?" He didn't really understand his need for Vala to see the woman given the planet's limited resources when it came to pregnancy, but he couldn't help it.
God, he couldn't wait to get back to Earth.
"From what I can see, everything looks good. Mother and baby look healthy to me," the woman assured him as she slipped into her coat. "I hear you'll be heading to the Portal soon?"
Daniel nodded. "Yeah, in two weeks," he confirmed, and his anxious eyes went to the bedroom door. "Will she be okay for the journey? I heard it takes a few days to get there? Should we hold off until the baby comes?"
The older woman's eyes crinkled as she smiled. "She should be fine," she said in a soothing tone. "Just don't push too hard. Take frequent breaks, and make sure she listens to her body. There will still be snow, so be sure to dress warmly."
He smiled at her motherly nature. "Thank you. I really appreciate you coming."
She grabbed her bag, squeezing his arm as she passed him. "It's been a pleasure. Safe travels."
o0o
"You feel better now?"
Daniel glanced up from the book he picked up from the library in town. Now that they weren't snowed in, they were actually able to do things and explore – he found a library and that's as far as he got. "I was more focused on appeasing your anxiety," he lied as he tossed the book aside and made room on the couch.
Vala snorted. "Liar," she called him out on it with a smirk and sank into his side. "But thank you."
Without conscious thought, his hand started moving up and down her arm. "Do you feel any better?" he carefully asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted meekly. "A part of me doesn't think I will until I hold it in my arms."
He understood exactly how she felt. "When we get to Earth, there's tests they can run to see if there's anything wrong with the baby or you. It's much more extensive than they have here."
Vala went still. "So, I'm going back with you?" she asked slowly.
Daniel frowned. He never considered her not coming back with him – even before he knew they were married. He always just assumed. "Of course, you're coming back with me – you're my wife," he stated plainly.
She created space between them, and he instantly missed her presence. "I don't get a say?"
He felt so confused. He always assumed that was the plan. "Of course, you do. Did you want to go somewhere else?" he was genuinely curious. "As long as they have good healthcare, I don't give fuck where we go, but it needs to be somewhere more advanced than here."
Her stricken expression made him wonder what he said wrong. "Y-you'd give up Earth?" she whispered in shock. "For me?"
How was that a surprise? How could she not know how precious she was to him? "Vala, you're my wife," he repeated as he met her gaze. "Of course, I'd choose you. I love you."
Vala gaped at him as she processed what he just admitted. "Do you really? It's not just because of the baby? You're not only saying it so I don't take it away? Because I'd never keep it from yo–"
Daniel silenced her by placing his lips on hers. When he finally felt her body melt into his and relax, he pulled away. "Vala, I love you so fucking much – even when you're being crazy like you are now," he told her dryly. "It's hard for me to say those words, and I don't say them lightly."
He saw her struggle to believe him, but he tried really hard not to take offense. Not many people loved her unconditionally, and he had a feeling she didn't know how to handle a no-strings attached love. "I…I think I might love you too."
He grinned like a maniac – or at least that's how it felt. "Will you come back to Earth with me?" he asked.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she nodded before kissing him.
They didn't talk for a while.