A/N: Wait a second, when did they get a kitchen sink?!

It only occurred to me to ask that as I was writing this chapter this morning. I write according to my mental vision. My mental vision is somewhat unreliable; people and objects tend to appear and disappear outside of my control. My mental vision of the kitchen contains a sink all of a sudden, and I didn't think to question that until now. I didn't even realize anything had changed. When did their kitchen start having a sink?

Whatever professional editors get paid, it's not enough.

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Clone Yahiko

"Perfect!" he exclaimed. "At least, I think so. What do you think, Little One?"

There was nobody else around. Drafting the message took long enough that he'd gone to the lobby desk in search of a more comfortable chair. Little One sat on the desk next to the lamp. When Yahiko looked up from his message and saw them sitting together, a new thought flashed across his mind. Does he think the lamp is alive like he is? Yahiko blinked. There was no sign that Little One thought that; he sat facing the doors, not looking at the lamp at all. But even so, Yahiko got a feeling of companionship from watching the doll and the lamp. Do *I* think the lamp is alive like he is?

Little One turned around and looked down at the message Yahiko had written. Yahiko shook off the intrusive thoughts. He cleared his throat. "'Dear Zetsu. We would like to be able to warn you of chaos in a way that doesn't depend on personal visits. How would you like to do this? These dolls are only a temporary measure. It takes a long time for them to find you and we need something more immediate. Please send a response. Yahiko.'" Yahiko ran one hand through his hair. "I was going for respectful, not pushy, giving them maximum agency. I hope it worked." He instructed Little One to fold the paper into a rectangle that would look about as large in the doll's hand as the unfolded paper looked in his, then called Konan to say the message was ready.

Original Nagato had gotten better about holding Solis, although he just stuffed the doll into the crook of his arm as he walked. Thankfully Solis didn't seem to mind hanging nearly upside-down. Original Nagato placed him on the desk on the other side of the lamp while Konan read the message. She deemed it likely to succeed, handed it to Little One for refolding and asked where the skateboard was kept. Yahiko blinked. "I don't actually know. It's their skateboard, not mine."

"We shall consider them fully independent, then," Konan said with a tone in her voice like she doubted they would be able to measure up. "Give them the search parameters."

Yahiko felt insulted on the dolls' behalf. They can do this! They can look for a single person in a town full of people without getting distracted. He ignored the squirming feeling in his guts. I believe they can. He repeated this to himself until the doubtful feeling was almost entirely quashed. "Take this piece of paper to a person who looks half human, half plant. From the back, you'll be able to see great big leaves that seem to have teeth surrounding their head. From the front, their face will look white on one side and black on the other. They've been here before and you've probably seen them, but I'm telling you all this just in case you can't remember. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Little One waved his arms. "Solis?" Solis kept twisting to look at the lamp, despite Original Nagato's attempts to hold him still. "Solis."

"I doubt he heard you," Konan said.

"Let him go," Yahiko said. Once freed, Solis crawled over to the lamp and traced the symbol on its lampshade. Yahiko tapped the symbol with one finger. "That's our return-to-base jutsu, Solis. The lamp has this symbol on it, and everyone who lives here has a piece of paper with the same symbol. The lamp's symbol is the original, and the paper ones are just copies. When we activate them with magic, they return to their original by teleporting us to this room. We can be anywhere, even places very far away, but if we activate this symbol we can come home instantly. It's useful if we need to get home right away." Solis looked up at him. Yahiko took the paper from his pocket and unfolded it to show the matching symbol, then put it back in his pocket. "There. Now you know why the lamp has a symbol on it. Now let me tell you what I told Little One…"

When that was done, he took them both outside and asked Solis to fetch the skateboard. Solis ran in the direction of the garage. That makes sense. When he came back with the skateboard, Yahiko gave them directions to town. "The person you're looking for is probably somewhere in town. If we learn that they're not, we'll find you in town and tell you to stop looking. Don't stop looking until you find them or until one of us tells you to stop. Okay?" Little One climbed onto the skateboard carefully, holding the folded paper tightly with one arm. Solis sat at the front of the board and surrounded it with roaring gusts of wind that caused the board to zoom off erratically. It went off the stone track and crashed almost immediately. The dolls took the board back to the track, climbed on, and tried again with a similar result. On the third try, Solis jerked the board left and right and just barely managed to stay on the track as far as they could follow by sight.

"The demonic child's friend, though slower, might have proven to be a more reliable messenger," Original Nagato said quietly.

"They can do it," Yahiko retorted.

"It may be wise to ask the demon boy to keep an eye on them. If the message ends up shredded, he can let us know to write a new one," Konan said.

"They can do it."

"Is there something I have not yet seen?" Original Nagato asked.

Yahiko turned away to hide his blush. "Just don't doubt them."

"Is the act of entrusting them with a mission more important than the completion of the mission?" Konan asked.

"Sure feels that way," Yahiko muttered. I sound like an idiot. Why am I being so difficult? There's nothing wrong with having a backup plan. The dolls wouldn't even know about it.

"In that case, let us focus on what is more important. We shall not ask the demon boy for help. If Zetsu's cooperation continues to be a non-urgent matter, we can wait for the dolls tomorrow, as well. If they do not return by tomorrow night, the mission will be considered a failure."

Yahiko didn't know how to feel about that. On the one hand, he was relieved that Konan had sided with him. On the other, his secret doubts came roaring to the surface. What if they don't come back in time? What if they fail? His guts twisted. He wondered if there was something more or something different he should have done.

Original Yahiko

"I don't think you're a bad person."

Hidan - the catlike version with a necklace and a tail - didn't respond. He put on a burst of speed, forcing Yahiko to strain to keep up. No breath was left for talking. Is he racing me, leading me somewhere or trying to lose me? There was no way to know.

Eventually, whatever it was ended. Hidan leaped down from the trees. Yahiko glimpsed an open area just ahead of them with wooden buildings in it. He joined Hidan on the ground, panting. "What is this place?"

"That northern campground they had marked on the maps," Hidan replied. His tail flicked irritably. "It's probably boring as shit." He walked forward anyway.

"I mean it," Yahiko said. "I'll talk to Nagato. Understanding needs to be mutual. It's not all your fault."

"Don't bother," Hidan snapped. "I'm not the sort of person his lordliness wants to talk to."

"He's not lordly. He's not like that at all."

"What the fuck do you know? How long have you been dead again?"

"It doesn't matter how long I've been gone. I know him. We were orphaned together and grew up relying on each other, always together, always. Give him a chance."

"What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Tsch, that dick doesn't deserve me."

Yahiko was too busy being confused to really take in the campground. He keeps weaving back and forth. One second Nagato's too good to talk to him. The next, the reverse is true. He wants them to be friends, then he doesn't. I can't figure out what he really wants. He shook his head, trying to drive his confusion away by force. Focus! We're scouting!

They walked through the campground in silence. They found a couple people tossing a bright green flying disk at each other. Those people waved; they were harmless. Aside from that, the campground was quiet. It looked and felt very peaceful and relaxing. This was not a place of action or suspense. Poor Hidan. By his standards, it is boring.

Hidan's ears twitched. "Hmm." He crept up to one of the buildings, his tail waving slowly back and forth. He touched claw marks high up on one wall. "She's been here."

"Konan?"

Hidan purred in response.

Yahiko forced down his discomfort. Act casual. "You really appreciate her, don't you?"

"She's like me," Hidan murmured. He traced the claw marks again. "Too wild to be restrained by the likes of you."

"She has a strong spirit," Yahiko agreed. "When we were little kids, she'd go out foraging all on her own sometimes. Nagato and I wouldn't have dared. I was really impressed by how brave she was."

Hidan leaped up onto the roof. His eyes widened. "Oh fuck yes! These things are great to perch on!"

Yahiko leaped onto a nearby building. He agreed. Since the campground was so open, it was possible to get a good view of the area from any of the buildings in it. He saw one of the players catch the green disc. "A good view."

"More importantly, nice wood. Feel this shit." Hidan shifted his weight one way, then the other. Yahiko did likewise. The roof was sturdy, yes, but Hidan seemed to be feeling something else in addition to that. A creaking noise set him purring, but Yahiko didn't hear anything special in it. Is he sensing a completely different world?

Yahiko could not even begin to guess why, but Hidan was happy here. There was nothing to do and nobody to fight, but sitting on a roof pleased him. I really don't understand him. But I want to. There are only four of us originals and Konan is close to him, so I want to understand who he is. "Do you like this place?"

"Nah, it's boring as shit, just like I thought."

What? "Your purring says something else."

Hidan bristled. "I'm allowed to purr whenever the fuck I want!"

"What do you really feel?" Yahiko blurted. That question had been on his mind ever since the earlier talk with Nagato. No, even before then. "Just tell me what you really think. I promise I won't poke fun at you."

Hidan's fur stayed bristled and his tail stayed arched. "You think I'm scared of a pussy-ass like you?"

"I don't know what or who you're scared of, but I know that nobody executes evasive maneuvers without a reason."

"What evasive maneuvers?"

Does he really not know? "Is Nagato too good to talk to you, or are you too good for him? Do you want to talk to him, or do you not even care? You've said all of these things, but not all of them can be true."

Hidan muttered something under his breath. Yahiko backed off. They both stayed put for a long while. The players brought the disc inside, then went into the woods bare-handed. In their absence, gray squirrels darted across the ground. Yahiko spied a tiny brightly-colored snake slithering from cover to cover, not behaving like a dangerous reptile at all. He wondered if its coloring was only an imitation of the coloring of a much more dangerous snake. He looked up and saw that Hidan had noticed the snake too. The catlike man averted his gaze. "Fine. He's cute as shit."

Yahiko suppressed a giggle. "You like Nagato?"

"I don't give a shit whether or not you like it. Go fuck yourself."

"I'm fine with it. Really."

"Yeah, only as long as he blows me off, right?"

Yahiko's smile faded. "What are you saying?"

Hidan's ears flattened against his head. "I've got one thing to say, Sunbeam. I don't care what sort of claim you think you have on him, with all this 'knowing each other since childhood' crap. You've been dead for a long-ass time. That makes him available. I have just as much claim as you and I'm not going to back down."

Yahiko blinked. "...You think I like him too?"

"I have eyes." Hidan growled, lashing his tail defensively.

"Uh… I don't… I've never thought about men that way." Yahiko blushed. Why does he think I'm, um, that way?

Hidan stopped lashing his tail. "Hold on. You don't know?" He laughed cruelly. "You're an idiot!"

"I'm quite sure I know how I feel, actually."

"Quick: imagine him grabbing you and kissing the daylights out of you."

Yahiko involuntarily imagined exactly that. His legs and arms weakened; he had to fight to stay upright. Hair all over his body stood on end like he'd had an electric shock. Hidan laughed and leaped off the roof, heading back the way they had come. Yahiko needed several seconds before he could even begin to catch up. Once he did, it was easy. His muscles had recovered from the shock and his heart rate was fast, but not pounding. It really was just like he'd been hit by lightning. He imagined Nagato kissing him again, and a smaller version of the original shock went through him. But he was already getting used to it. Since this version of Hidan couldn't read his mind or heart, he secretly repeated this mental image over and over. Before they were halfway back to the base, it had ceased to produce any powerful shock at all.

He had no idea how to interpret this. I need a feelings expert. Maybe Clone Hidan can help me.

Hidan stopped him just before they reached the backyard. "I have a second thing to say. If it turns out you were telling the truth, that you really are accepting and flexible and all that…" His tail swished slowly. "I might not have a problem with you."

The gleam in his eyes and the way his tail swished reminded Yahiko of sitting on the roof earlier. He sees and feels a different world than I do. I can't possibly know what he's talking about. Hidan's smirk was predatory. Yahiko hoped that when he eventually found out, the pain of that experience would be tolerable.

Itachi

"Not much focus today," he commented while opening the lobby door. He held it open for Hidan and Nagato to pass through, then followed them in.

"Wouldn't know," Hidan chirped, looking at Nagato.

Nagato smiled, but secretly, and looked around quickly afterward. No original was in sight. "I don't know how long I can keep this up," he admitted. "You were right. It feels so unnatural."

Itachi wondered what to say and whether to say anything at all. Just then, Sasori came in behind them. They'd heard his motorcycle just a few seconds before. He was still wearing his riding gear, which he shrugged off and placed on top of the lobby desk before fumbling for his phone. "I have a report," he told whoever he called. He ended the call just a second after saying that. Only then did he look at the others. "I just got back from meeting with demons. How was your day?"

"Significantly more relaxed than yours, it seems," Itachi replied. He checked the time on his phone. Focus present shortly before 1 pm.

"How did it go?" Nagato asked.

"Good news: we're still safe. Bad news: it's because all of the demons are too terrified to come near us. It's a miracle that there were two of them willing to see me."

Konan and Original Nagato appeared. Sasori repeated what he had just said. Konan nodded once. "It is regrettable that our relationship with them has suffered, but at least it hasn't turned adversarial."

"Yet," Original Nagato added.

"I managed to avoid telling them about the author, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time," Sasori said.

Konan nodded. "Good. I have no idea what role the vampires and demons may or may not play in that situation." She turned her head slightly toward Itachi. "Are there any relevant hypotheses?"

The focus is getting stronger. Surely he can feel it? "They may simply be supporting characters, useful for giving us things to react to. I doubt they are more than that."

"They are not going to like hearing that," Sasori said while gathering up his riding gear. "'Surprise: you're supporting characters in someone else's story.' That's the worst news I can imagine getting." He left to put his riding gear away.

"I just got an idea," Nagato announced. "Other Me, I would like your opinion on it. Privately. I wouldn't entrust this to someone who wasn't the same person as me." The shyness that took over his voice made that claim believable. Original Nagato nodded. After confirming that the haunted hospital was entirely peaceful and nothing important had happened there, he and his clone left.

"I don't know whether to listen in or stay far away," Hidan said.

"Listen in," Itachi told him. "Our Nagato already knows what needs to be said. He will not have an emotional reaction. The only one who will react is Original Nagato, and as an original he has the training to keep his feelings under control. He will not overwhelm you."

"Sound reasoning!" Hidan raced off toward the back of the building.

"Our Nagato is unwilling to keep his relationship with Hidan a secret any longer," Itachi explained to Konan.

"I hope he has good fortune," Konan replied. "Itachi. There is some business I must discuss with you."

"If it does not take too long." His guitar case was starting to feel heavy.

"I have heard that you are unwilling to generate hypotheses any longer. Is this true?"

"My motivation is lackluster," he replied, nodding. "If there is a very good reason why I must do so, that can supplement my motivation levels. But I no longer wish to generate endless hypotheses in the absence of any need for them."

"I was informed that you refused when ordered to."

"That was backwash. I made this decision after experiencing a torturous period of thinking so much that it actually became painful. After that, naturally, I needed a rest. But by now I have recovered."

"Hmm." Konan wandered away, looking thoughtful. Itachi went to his room and put his guitar away. He sat on his bed afterwards and wondered what to do with the rest of his day. Shall I spend time with Deidara? It is important to nurture one's friendships. He texted Deidara asking to hang out. Deidara texted back a location.

I will need a ride. Itachi searched the base. He saw Original Yahiko talking with Hidan, who didn't seem as unhappy as Itachi would have expected. They must be speaking about something more important than Nagato's confession. What could that be? He moved on, quickly and silently so as not to intrude. Kisame's whereabouts were unknown. Kakuzu sparred with Original Hidan in the backyard. Itachi was wondering how his top running speed compared to a car when Yahiko grabbed him. "Itachi! I need your help. Come quickly!"

Warlic and Manta had decided to conquer their fears by plunging in. Literally. Itachi smiled as he lifted Manta out of the sink. "At least we have a sink, so that they did not have to do this by swimming in toilets."

"Yeah…" Yahiko still grimaced as they carried the dripping dolls outside. He directed Itachi to copy him as he placed Warlic's feet on the smooth stone path but kept his arms beneath Warlic's armpits. "Be careful, guys. Water is heavy and you absorbed a lot of it. You're a lot heavier than usual. It'll take extra effort to stand and move." He took his hands away. Warlic promptly fell down. Itachi removed his hands and Manta wobbled, but managed to stay upright. Warlic struggled to stand and eventually used magic to levitate himself back to his feet. Neither doll looked ready to run around and perform antics anytime soon.

"I sense that you are not available to give me a ride to town," Itachi said.

"What do you need a ride for?"

"Meeting Deidara."

Yahiko looked conflicted. "I really should stay so they have some comfort…"

"It's alright. I should have just run there as soon as he gave me the location."

Warlic sat down again. Yahiko encircled the doll in his arms and rubbed Warlic's poor little drenched head. "Sorry."

"Do not be. They need you." Itachi straightened up, stretched his arms, and took off running.

He was surprised at how much he enjoyed it. The flow of his blood pushed energy through him, clearing away any traces of mental mist that might have lingered. He felt the strain, but it was not unpleasant. It felt just like any other form of energy. His shinobi instincts activated, quieting his mind even further. Running into town was like meditating. It was wonderful. He was almost sad to find the location that Deidara had texted to him.

"I was wondering where you were, yeah!" Deidara said. Laurie was there as well. She smiled at Itachi. "We've been waiting for you so we could go somewhere else, yeah."

"That is alright with me," Itachi replied. They set off. Itachi briefly felt an urge to say something, but it faded quickly. He let himself be silent.

"You okay?" Deidara asked. "You're weirdly quiet."

"That is a sign that I am much, much better than usual," Itachi replied. "I don't want to speak very much. I just want to enjoy the day."

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A/N: Merry Christmas!