A.N: An extra update for Christmas!

Chapter 71

"The captain kept his word. Sasha got home safely" Nikolo feels like slumping in his chair with the news, relieved, but he forces himself to stay upright. Mikasa already thought of him as weak, he was sure, and he wasn't going to reinforce the idea. He also resists the urge to ask "are you sure" because, logically thinking, of course Mikasa was sure; she had gone and seen it herself, and there was absolutely no reason for her to lie. Thomas was due back in the next three or four days, but in all honesty, Mikasa's word counted for more.

"And there were no consequences? She wasn't noticed?"

"She was, but Jean and the others dealt with it. The captain that helped you two got caught, but from what Sasha said he seemed to have expected that. Sasha won't be working at the harbor again for her own safety and to not rile up the Marleyans, but that's not a problem." Mikasa explains, lifting her still steaming cup of tea to her lips, having given Nikolo the information he needed.

While they shouldn't be in the danger of being eavesdropped on, his family was out and his father was careful about picking staff, making sure they were the type to mind their own business, Nikolo keeps his voice slightly below normal.

"How do we go from here?"

"Are you still willing to leave this all behind?"

"Yes" Nikolo says without hesitation, perfectly aware that Mikasa was assessing him. Hadn't they already gone through this last time? "There might be some… complications to the plans, though."

For once, Nikolo saw surprise flash over Mikasa's face. It was mild and gone quickly, but since he was paying attention, he caught it. She frowns.

"What complications?"

"My sister. I've been doing some ground work to not make it look suspicious when I go to Hizuru, but Bianka figured out that there's more to it" he sighs, taking a sip from his own tea before continuing: "She figured out that I'm planning to disappear. She didn't like the idea and tried to get me out of it, but I managed to convince her that it was for the best. For now, at least."

"Fow now?"

"She insists on following me to Hizuru, and I'm afraid she might change her mind eventually" Nikolo confesses, but he'd given it all a lot of thought and realized something "If she doesn't, having her tag along might actually work to our advantage. If she confirms my "death", less people will question it."

"How much trouble will she be if she does change her mind?"

"An annoyance, but nothing I can't handle. She might delay things a bit if it takes a while to convince her again, but as long as we don't make a plan that relies on some very specific timing that we can't change, that shouldn't be a problem. What could be a problem is if she tells someone else about my plans."

"Are you sure she hasn't already?"

Nikolo had given that a thought, too.

"Pretty sure. If she'd told someone in the family, they would've done something about it by now. She might have told her husband, but I'd say he's the kind of person who'd be supportive of me disappearing and causing them less trouble in the long run."

Mikasa says nothing, taking a sip of her tea, but it didn't look like she was expecting him to continue; it was more like she was thinking, so Nikolo decides to let her do so in peace and focuses on his own tea. It was still warm, but could no longer be called hot. There wasn't much left in his cup, either, but the tea pan was on the table, so he could fill his cup again if this dragged on. And it probably would.

"We could leave today" Mikasa says after a while "We can't get you the necessary documents, but we can hide you and if we go at night, we'll be far enough once your family or someone else notices that you're gone."

"…No" Nikolo hadn't thought his answer for long, but the idea had given him a pause "I want to see my family members before I go, even though I know I can't tell them anything. And then there's Thomas, too. I mentioned him, didn't I? I more or less sent him to the island; I should be here to hear from him once he returns. I might not need his information anymore, but at the very least, I owe him a thank you."

Mikasa looks unimpressed. Nikolo was used to the look, but somehow, this time it seemed like she was putting in the effort to make him know what she felt.

"Are these people more important to you than Sasha after all?"

Nikolo gives her an unimpressed huff, trying to match the sense of ridicule he felt like she was giving to him.

"If they were, I wouldn't be leaving them all just for her" he says "Would you have abandoned everything and everyone on the spot for Eren if things had somehow come to that?"

Mikasa flinches, and while Nikolo sees it, he can't tell if it was due to Eren suddenly being brought up, or because she actually would've done just that. But either way, from the way Mikasa grasps her scarf with a trembling hand, her face showing anguish, Nikolo realizes he'd gone too far.

"Sorry. It's not my place to talk about him" he apologizes. He was now curious of what Mikasa would've done in his shoes, but he knew better than to ask again. It really wasn't his place to even know the answer.

"…No, it wasn't" Mikasa agreed "But considering what I said, I can't blame you for that."

A small part of Nikolo was relieved that she thought that; he would've hated to get a fist to the face from the Ackerman, especially in his family's dining room. If there was too much noise, the staff could get curious, too.

"How about we both stop with the low blows?" he offers. Mikasa seems to think it over before nodding "Good… and no, like I said, I'm not putting anyone before Sasha. I just want to get closure with everyone before I go to her, so that I don't have to waste her time by making her worry about me. If my thoughts kept drifting off to my family while I was with her- "

"She'd blame herself" Mikasa finished, and it wasn't a question "She will do it anyway; she'll blame herself of the pain your family will feel about losing you."

Nikolo gripped the handle of his teacup harder, wanting to deny what the woman was saying, but he knew it to be true.

"And just after she agreed to stop hitting where it hurts"

"Yes, she will, because Sasha is like that; too kind for her own good at times" Nikolo admits, pouring himself more tea as a small distraction. He holds the kettle up afterwards, wordlessly asking Mikasa if she wanted more, and she gets the hint, pushing her cup towards him "But we'll get through it, together. She's all the family I need."

Mikasa raises an eyebrow, otherwise sporting a completely blank face. It takes a moment for Nikolo's mind to catch up with his mouth, but once it does, he blushes furiously.

"That was- I mean I- "he stutters, wondering how to explain himself. It's not like he'd lied or exaggerated, but he hadn't meant to be so blunt about it.

"There's no need to explain yourself to me" Mikasa says, picking up her teacup "Though I do wonder what her family would say about that."

Nikolo would've really liked to have a smart comeback to that, but as he didn't, he could only watch as Mikasa sipped on her tea, acting like she wasn't enjoying making him squirm. He bet she was; there was no way that all those years of being close to the mischievous pranksters that were Sasha and Connie hadn't had an effect on Mikasa, though she did have a better poker face.

"How long will you need before we can leave?"

"Probably ten days to get all the paperwork done, but let's make it fourteen to be on the safe side" Nikolo answers, glad for the subject change "Will it be alright for you to stay in Marley that long, or will you send someone to pick me up?"

"I'm not sure; I'll have to talk to Kiyomi about it. But it shouldn't be dangerous to- "Mikasa stops midsentence, but Nikolo doesn't ask why; he figures she must've heard the same sound of approaching footsteps he himself just took note of. Time to change the subject.

"Business aside, how have you been lately?" Nikolo asks. Mikasa's eyes widen a little before she blinks, yet thankfully, she catches on to what he's doing and plays along.

"I have been well, thank you. You've chosen a good timing to visit Hizuru; it's lovely this time of the year."

What Mikasa said sounded stiff and unnatural, like it was rehearsed beforehand- and it probably was, Nikolo realized, for diplomatic purposes. He wasn't sure of the servants, but if it was a member of his family coming and they heard that, they'd notice that something was off… but they would probably come to the same mistaken conclusions his grandfather had when Mikasa had arrived to see him. The look the old man had given to him and then to Mikasa had made Nikolo realize that the man thought there was something going on between them, and the way he'd loudly claimed to go for a long walk so that "you young ones can have some alone time together" had cemented the belief. Nikolo wouldn't be surprised if the man thought he and Mikasa were planning to run away together or something of the sort. He just hoped that wouldn't bring up problems.

"Now I'm looking forward to seeing it even more" Nikolo manages to say before the door opens without knocking and Ulrich steps in.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Azumabito" the man greets Mikasa, who returns his greetings, and with the formality out of the way, the man turns to his brother "You've decided on when to go on your little trip, huh?"

"Yeah. Two weeks from now" Nikolo casually says, taking a sip from his tea "Bianka and I, she did tell you she's coming too, didn't she? Should have all the paperwork done by then. Probably sooner even since we've been planning this, but we're going to play it safe."

Nikolo can't read Ulrich's face, and for a moment, he wonders if Bianka had told the man everything. But if she had, he wasn't sure how his brother would take it… when he'd just come back from the island, he wouldn't have hesitated to say that Ulrich would simply tell on him, but now, he was convinced it wasn't that simple. Even so, he wasn't sure if the man would be against it or approve, or if he'd possibly try to help.

"Does Bianka already know?"

"I'll head to her house to let her know later today. I haven't seen the boys in a while either, so it's a high time for me to visit."

Ulrich's face is still unreadable, too much so, Nikolo realizes. He knows something, and is holding a poker face on purpose. Mikasa's presence was probably the reason he wasn't giving him a piece of his mind already.

"I think it's time for me to take my leave" Mikasa says as she stands after finishing her tea "Thank you for the tea."

After walking Mikasa to the door and sending her off with the expected pleasantries, Nikolo gets to find out how right he was, much to his displeasure as Ulrich turns to him with a glare as soon as there are no witnesses.

"Alright, spill it: what's your plan?"

"To travel to Hizuru in a couple of weeks?" Nikolo tries his luck at playing dumb, but the flat look his brother gives him for it is more than enough to tell him it wasn't working. He sighs "Did Bianka say something?"

To Nikolo's surprise, his brother seems surprised by the question.

"She's in on whatever you're planning? …Actually, never mind; she's coming with you, so of course she's in on it. Now, tell me what you two are up to or I'm gonna go and ask her instead."

"…Fine" Nikolo knows he has no choice, for Ulrich would certainly go through with his threat and, if asked directly by their older brother, Bianka would give in eventually "Once at Hizuru, I'll stage my death to get Dr. Becker and anyone working with him off my back. With Bianka there to "witness" it, it'll be more believable, which is why I'm letting her come. She knows the plan, and has agreed to it."

Ulrich is scowling by the time Nikolo finishes speaking, and he opens his mouth to say something, or probably yell, Nikolo realizes, before clearly changing his mind as he takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay" the man says after a while "Okay, I don't even know where to start, so I'll just go with the end conclusion, which is that you're an idiot. And Bianka's an idiot too for agreeing to this. How did you talk her in to it in the first place? Freaking idiot twins."

"Logic and reputation" Nikolo answers, deciding to ignore the insult "This will be better for her and her family in the long run."

Nikolo sees it, so he blocks the upcoming punch with his right hand, and his reflexes save him from falling as he dodges the kick aimed to swipe his feet from under him.

"Her family? Her family!? We're all part of the same family damn it; her family is your family!"

Nikolo could've argued that they had different last names now, but decided against it. That wasn't the issue here.

"Fine. This will be better for her and our family in the long run" he says after gaining some distance, though not much as the space was limited in the entryway. Luckily, he was the one closer to the door, so ditching Ulrich remained an option. One that would probably cause him to run to their father, so it wasn't the wisest thing to do, but it was good to have a choice.

"Says who? How do you think mom will take it? I know you haven't told her the plan; it'd make it meaningless since there's no way she could keep the secret. You'll break her heart, and Natalie's, too! Do you have any idea how much our little sister cried for you when we had no idea if you were alive or not?" Ulrich asks, repeating when Nikolo doesn't answer "DO YOU?!"

"No, I don't" Nikolo answers, realizing Ulrich wouldn't drop it if he stayed quiet "Do you know what can happen if you get too far in to the wrong side of the wrong people?"

Ulrich frowns.

"Nothing as bad as you seem to think would happen, not to a family of our status at least. Worst case scenario, they'd get us in to a hell of a scandal, but we'd get through it. And we have a fresh lawyer in the family, remember? If someone tries something, we'll just bite back!"

Ulrich was thinking about reputation first, as Nikolo would've expected. It was indeed the most likely target, but not the only possibility.

"And if they get physical?" Nikolo asks. He had no doubt they could do that to him, but while he didn't think they'd go that far with his family, he acknowledged the possibility and it was in his best interests to make Ulrich think about it, too "They wouldn't dare to do anything themselves, but hiring someone else who doesn't have a trackable connection to them wouldn't be hard. If they want to do it, they will."

Ulrich eyes him for a while before giving his reply.

"They probably could do that, but it's not like we're important enough for them to bother. You are not important enough for them to bother, either, if you're out of Marley. Even if they got someone else to do it, you're not worth the effort."

Ulrich might've been right, and if running away from trouble had been the real reason Nikolo was doing this, he might've yielded.

"I'm still not going to risk it" he says "…But if you must, you could tell the truth to the rest of the family after the heat has died down for good, so that they don't give anything away. But only if you make sure our family isn't being watched."

Ulrich lets out a heavy breath, like he's suddenly very tired.

"Really? You are giving me orders now?"

"Yeah, I am. Are we done here? I still need to meet up with Bianka" Nikolo says, watching Ulrich frown and press his lips together, eyes narrowing, definitely trying to think of more arguments to change his mind with. And to Nikolo's annoyance, he finds one.

"…What about that woman you're in love with? What was her name again? …No, that part isn't relevant now. What about her? Are you going to trick her, too?"

"You don't need to worry about that" Nikolo simply says, and Ulrich stares in clear disbelief for only a moment before his eyes widen "She's in on this too, isn't she!?"

Nikolo tried to keep his face from revealing anything, and in hindsight, that may have been what gave him away.

"She is! Of course, she and the Azumabito are friends, aren't they?" Ulrich catches on "Is she waiting for you at Hizuru?"

"No, she's not" Nikolo didn't want to talk about Sasha to Ulrich, but he knew that if he didn't, his brother would keep pestering, and he might let something damaging slip if he ended up losing his cool, so… the best course of action was to willingly tell something "…But I'll meet up with her, eventually. Mikasa will arrange it."

"So, you're abandoning our family for that woman?"

Hearing it said out loud by his brother hits a chord of guilt in Nikolo, but he also notices it doesn't bring forth any feelings of regret, and that strengthens his resolve.

"Yes" Nikolo says, staring straight in to his brother's eyes "I love her, and will do anything to be with her."

Nikolo doesn't remember signing up for a staring contest, but it certainly feels like he's in one as their eyes lock on to each other. Unable to think of anything more convincing that what he said just now, Nikolo simply counts the seconds.

"78 79 80 81- "over a minute later, it's Ulrich who breaks off his gaze first.

"Damn, and here I thought that at least your love life couldn't cause us more grey hair than Natalie's does" Ulrich says, to which Nikolo snorts, almost letting it slip that the man didn't know even half of it "Well, at least I now know you aren't off to actually die."

"You actually thought I was planning that?" Nikolo asks, frowning "Why would I bother going all the way to Hizuru for that?"

"Since when do your actions make any sense?" Ulrich shoots back with a small smile, rolling his eyes, but just as Nikolo dares to think that the problem has been solved, he sees his brother freeze up.

"That can't be good"

"Hold up. That one time, you said that that woman wasn't someone our parents would approve of, didn't you?" Ulrich asks, eyes narrowing as he takes a few steps closer to Nikolo, now at reaching distance "Nicky, tell me this is really about our safety and not about finding your way around our parents' disapproval of your girlfriend. Tell me that you aren't actually doing this to run away with that woman."

Nikolo wanted to tell him exactly that, to lie with a straight face and deny it, but the words got caught in his throat at the worst moment possible. By the time he managed to stutter out a "No, I'm not", Ulrich was already convinced it was the case, and his weak protest only added fuel to the fire. The older man was furious, and while Nikolo saw the punch coming, his brain didn't register it fast enough to dodge, and so Ulrich's fist connected solidly with his face. If it wasn't for the wall behind him, Nikolo would've crashed to the floor.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE NICKY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Ulrich screams as Nikolo nurses his now aching face with one hand. If the house staff hadn't heard them before, they certainly did now, and Nikolo wonders if any of them will try to interfere. Probably not though; he recalled them stopping coming between their fights once they'd both hit their teens… though then again, some of the staff had changed since then. All except one, actually, but they were probably ordered to not interfere with family bu- "DO WE REALLY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU!?"

"…If you didn't, why would I have bothered coming back at all?" Nikolo asks honestly, glaring at his brother "Why would I have risked returning here and possibly be scorned at and doubted after being on the island for so long if I didn't care?"

Ulrich falters a little at that. His anger hasn't died down, but at the very least, the pause reminds him to mind his volume.

"How about for your own safety?"

"I was safe on the island! Not all the time during the nine years, I'll give you that, but the last few were perfectly safe. My friends had my back and protected me. Sasha protected me!"

"Did it occur to you that it must be a ploy to make use of you later? You are from an important family with influence and- "Ulrich pauses, and the moment his eyes widen in realization is the moment Nikolo realizes his slip up. He'd done the exact thing he'd tried to avoid by telling parts of the truth "Sasha protected you? Isn't that… isn't that the name of the woman you wrote those love letters to? She's an Eldian!?"

Nikolo frowns, but now it was pointless to deny it. Instead, he'd have to make Ulrich understand.

"Yes, she's an Eldian. Many of my friends are, too. And as for our family, they knew nothing of us! Besides, don't you see the irony in what you're saying? It's Dr. Becker, him and the military, who do their best to use me for my family connections. And they're Marleyans!"

Ulrich grits his teeth and clenches his fists. It tells Nikolo the man doesn't have a counter argument, but sometimes, people answered a situation like that with violence, so he prepares for another punch. But instead of that, he gets a question.

"What are you trying to say? That Eldians are better than Marleyans? That the Eldian woman you fancy is a better person than me? Than anyone in our family!?"

"No" Nikolo disagrees. Some Eldians were undeniably better people than some Marleyans, but the same went the other way around, too "What I'm saying is that they're no different from Marleyans, from us. There are good and bad people both on the island and outside of it, because we're all huma- "

Nikolo is interrupted by the fist coming at his face, but this time he's prepared and manages to dodge. And block the next one; as long as he didn't have the element of surprise, Ulrich was no match for a trained, experienced soldier.

The younger brother takes a while dodging and blocking the older one's punches, but eventually, gets annoyed by it all and decides to end it, tripping his opponent and pinning the man to the floor stomach first, holding his hands in a tight grip.

"Enough of that; you don't have the skill to beat me in a real fight" Nikolo points out, and Ulrich glares at him as well as he can manage from his current position.

"Fucking seriously?! You're turning your back to your own family for some Eldian wench!? Some bitch who-!"

Nikolo lets Ulrich scream out his frustrations, resisting the growing urge to slam the man's head on the floor for how he was talking about Sasha. The only reason he hadn't already was because he knew his brother needed to let out his feelings in order for them to get anywhere with this.

"Anything else you still want to say to me?" Nikolo asks after Ulrich's been quiet for a little while, catching his breath.

Ulrich turns his head away defiantly. Nikolo keeps pinning him down, sure that if he got off now, his brother would lunge at him the second he turned his back. It was better to let him cool off a little more, just in case.

While waiting, Nikolo himself had time to think, and how badly he had fucked up starts to sink in.

Knowing what he knew now, if Ulrich went and told the military, he'd get locked up for good if he was caught. And that was the better option; worst case scenario, they'd kill him and stage some accident or suicide.

"Should I forget about goodbyes and leave today? I know where Mikasa is staying; if I bolt out of the door as soon as I let go of Ulrich, I can easily lose him and go to her. Even if he told someone, we should get out in time to- "

"Ow" Ulrich complains from under him "Watch your damn grip, Nicky!"

Nikolo startles and loosens his grip, realizing it had been a bit too tight, but he doesn't let go. He knows he has to make a decision soon; he has no idea when the others would come home.

"What's so great about that Eldian woman, anyway?"

"Lots of things" Ulrich isn't expecting an actual explanation, Nikolo knows, but he gives it to his brother anyway, starting with Sasha's unhidden curiosity and blunt honesty when it came to food, to his cooking, which was what had originally separated her from the rest and gotten his attention. He tells about her kindness that one could see even if they were making an effort not to, Nikolo knew this for sure since he'd tried that, yet he doesn't leave out the mischievous side of her nature when she would pull pranks or steal herself some snacks, either. He admits it to be an annoying side of hers, yet for a reason he's yet to pinpoint, it's also endearing.

Nikolo doesn't consider himself to be the superficial type, but he wasn't going to pretend that Sasha's physical beauty didn't have the effect on him beautiful women usually had on men. Not that he voiced it like that, instead giving a simple description of how she looked like before changing the subject, talking of her skill with the bow, having personally witnessed it when she'd taken him hunting and tried to teach him to use one, too.

Through it all, Ulrich doesn't say anything or even look at his brother, but Nikolo just knows he's paying attention. He just hopes it's an attempt to understand him and not to get blackmail material.

By the time Nikolo stops talking, his grip on Ulrich is basically none existent, and after a minute or so of silence he gets off, letting the man get up. He doesn't offer up a hand, knowing that his brother would take it more as an insult than anything else.

Ulrich stretches his limps a little, seeming to have calmed down, but Nikolo knows to not turn his back to the man just yet.

"…Even if all you say about her is true, so what? She's just one person. Are you going to risk everything and deal with the rest of her kind just for her? For all you know, whatever devil friends and family she has would rather kill you than let you be with her."

Nikolo snorts, and Ulrich looks at him over his shoulder, having his back turned to him.

"They won't; I know those guys. I might not exactly be their favorite person, but they aren't going to chase me down with torches." he assures, looking in to his brother's eyes as he says: "They're good people."

"…I'm starting to think the nuthouse might've been the best place for you after all" Ulrich says and Nikolo stiffens, once again considering the possibility of his brother selling him out. It's probably clear on his face as Ulrich waives his hand carelessly "But at this point, what good would it do? You're too far gone. Way too far. Off you go; tell Bianka your schedule and do whatever you were planning to do. I won't get in your way."

Nikolo doesn't say anything, nor does he move. He knows it can't be that easy, so he simply waits for the catch. He doesn't have to wait for long.

"But if you go, the decision is final. Walking out that door now means giving up on our family. If you go, you're no longer a brother of mine."

The words hit Nikolo like a bucket of ice was suddenly dumped on him. He hadn't expected Ulrich to accept his decisions and send him off with a smile, of course not, but this he had not been expecting, either. He stares at Ulrich, who stares right back, the only sound he can hear being the sounds of their breathing that he normally wouldn't pay any attention to. The words hurt, far more than his still slightly stinging cheek which was easy to ignore in comparison but, he realizes, they do not paralyze him, don't make him second guess himself. He didn't want things to go like this, but no matter how this would've gone, his decision would've been the same. He closes his eyes.

"I see. So be it, then" is his answer, and opening his eyes, Nikolo can briefly see the look of shock and disbelief on his brother's face before turning around to open the door and walk out at a brisker pace than necessary. Ulrich calls after him, or so he thinks, but it might've just been the wind ruffling up his imagination.

Nikolo doesn't shed any tears as he walks, knowing he shouldn't mourn the results of his own decisions. Instead, he wonders if his older brother was crying right now-

No, not his older brother, he reminds himself.

He had no older brother; not anymore.

A.N: Not gonna lie, I loved writing their argument. It's not exactly the best pick for Christmas, but I didn't count when I'd publish this while writing it.

In any case, Merry Christmas! Don't fight or disown any of your siblings!