it seems that emails are fixed again! pog! back to being annoying!
started: 15/11/2023
there isn't too much to gander at, when you're strapped to the top of an APC, unable to move, absolutely scared out of your wits because oh my god that rocket exploded right next to me, or wow those bullets sure are hitting uncomfortably close to me. it doesn't make the sight seeing too enjoyable, but in the short amount of time he's been on the surface, he has to say that the sky is easily the best thing to look at.
it's a watercolour of dark blues, with the faintest hints of greens and greys mixed in. what seems like a million stars are littered for as far as he can see; all different sizes, all varying levels of brightness, some seemingly overlapping with others. when paired with the snowy scenery of the arctic, it really is a beautiful sight to behold.
… well. when the snow hasn't been spattered with gore, or shredded from a panicked drivers swerves, or pot-marked with bullet holes and rocket blasts.
back to looking at the sky, then.
he tries to strike up strings of conversation with the Boss while they putter along the road, after the occasional stop to gun down something, either out of necessity or for fun. the Boss is real picky with words, and kind of mean most of the time, but he thinks they've been making good head-way. he's just so curious - the first person he spoke to after an eternity alone was the boss, and now he's having an adventure with the boss's brother! on the surface! … the brothers clone. the clone's brother? he's still a bit confused on that part. either way, the Boss is the second person he's been able to talk to in ages. so what if he's a little excited about it?
but when the Boss is away, or the Boss doesn't want to talk, he looks at the sky, and tries to count as many stars as he can. by the time he's up to 146, they're inside a tunnel, one that seems to stretch on forever. the sky is replaced for concrete, and he remembers that, yeah, this surface business really isn't as cracked up as he thought it'd be. it kind of sucks, actually; being shot at and blown up and chased down is not nice. it's especially not nice when you're stuck on top of a rocky vehicle with a bad driver behind the wheel (full offense intended. he thinks the Boss does it on purpose).
after another quick chat, the Boss heads in to the ominous building of Arbiet #2. he's been left on top of the APC. alone. staring at the locked door. that's made of stone. and is a stoney white. riveting.
he hasn't seen the sky in five minutes, and he can't move himself to look at literally anything else. he wants, needs, to look at something else. the surface sucks, but staring at a wall - something he's intimately familiar with - is even worse.
'I'm not going back in there again.' he hears the Boss sneer as footsteps rush out of the building. he ignores the panic in the Boss's tone in favour of his own mental health.
'say Boss, can I ask for a favour?'
'no.' the Boss instantly snaps back. he'd figured he'd get that kind of response, but he keeps pushing, desperate.
'aw c'mon Boss, I promise it won't take long, I just, I really need a change of scenery, y'know?' the stomp of steps stop right beside the APC, giving him a boost of confidence. 'I er, I can't really move around like you, because, uh. I don't have legs. well I do, but not bendable legs. and if I keep looking at this door, I really am gonna lose my mind.' he chuckles without the humour, a nervous little flutter with just a hint of hysteria. the door reminds him too much of the catacombs. now that he's out of that wretched place, he doesn't ever want to be reminded of it again. 'I know you're in a hurry, but uh. yeah. you don't, don't have to, but I- ... it would mean a lot. to look at somethin' else for a second.'
there's a pause. the sounds of muted tapping against a metal surface. he wishes he could see what the Boss was exactly doing.
'will it get you to stop talking?' the Boss finally relents, sounding annoyed and defeated, which sparks elation within his motherboard.
'yes.'
'fine.' the Boss unhooks him from the APC's clasps, arms wrapping around his metal shell, and he's being marched into Arbiet #2. true to his word, he doesn't say anything. he already feels a hell of a lot better, as they pass by blinking monitors and bright red lights, sights that are tons more engaging to look at than a slab of brick. he gets walked into a comfy looking surveillance room, and the door leading to the balcony is a blessedly short trip. it, surprisingly, overlooks the indoor roadway rather than the surface.
the roof of the tunnel has a hole in it, where long pillars of rock poke through. a flock of what's most likely Xen life circle the pillars, a light drift of snow fluttering down into the clear water below. the sky stands tall above them, still the same washed out blues and greens and greys, with just as many stars strewn across the universe. the Boss holds him high enough so he can see everything, but not so far over the railing that the threat of a slip could send him to the depths. he feels safe in the Boss's solid grip.
and it's striking. it's somehow even more beautiful down here, seemingly enclosed and secluded away from the rest of the world. at least this time, there's nothing shooting at them; no one shouting, nothing exploding, no horrific deaths, no needless slaughter. it's almost peaceful, in a way. like there isn't a war going on. like the Combine haven't eradicated everything they can get their hands on.
they may have been able to take earth into their iron fists, but they can't take away the colours of the sky, nor the brightness of the stars, or the natural beauty of it all, no matter how hard they seem to try. this little pocket is ours, now, he smugly thinks to himself, the dull beeps of distant machines and the far off chirps of foreign wildlife seeming to agree with him.
'better?' the Boss asks after a minute, not once lowering him. he wonders how the Boss's arms aren't tired yet. does he still have feeling in them? he'll have to ask at some point.
'yeah.' it's said in a sigh. oh yeah, the Boss likes him alright. he can deny it all he wants, but he knows that the Boss likes him. 'thanks, Boss. I really needed that.'
'yeah yeah whatever. c'mon, let's get moving, being in here creeps me the hell out.' he's brought close to the Boss's chest, arms encased around him securely, but he seems to hesitate. the Boss let's him gaze at their pocket for a few seconds longer; then he turns around, and starts heading back for the APC.
and he wonders, as his gears warm up and his circuits buzz with more electricity than normal, if this is what love feels like. he's too happy to notice that they've come to a stop at the doorway, the concrete door still blocking the APC's exit, the Boss grumbling unintelligibly under his static-y breath. he can't stop himself from giggling, which just seems to irritate the Boss further.
'ah Boss, did you forget to hit the switch?'
'shut up. you distracted me.'
'not the first time I didn't! I wasn't even in there with you, that was your own fault!' a short bout of silence. the Boss's slight fidgeting.
'I shoulda' left you in those catacombs where you were standing.' it's said with no real bitterness, and he's never felt so happy in his life.
'but'cha didn't!' god is it nice to be around someone again. even if he's kind of a jerk.