It was burning inside him, only eating away at him even more with each passing second, as Adam laid beside Lawrence in that little motel bed that they had been sharing during this stay, in the latest of dingy motels that he had been meeting up with him at, over the past month and a half or so.

It had been only two months or so, since their ordeal, so it was the best Lawrence could do for him, while he sorted out things back home with Alison, who had found out about his previous affairs during her part of said ordeal

Adam sighed to himself. He had to tell him.

So far, he had gotten lucky enough that the majority of his bouts of morning sickness hadn't struck him while Lawrence was around, and the few times it did, it was mild enough that he could either explain it away as food poisoning or he didn't have to mention it at all…...but there was no telling how long that would last.

He knew the longer he tempted fate, the more likely it was that he would become found out before he prepared how he was going to tell him.

He had to tell him, and he had to tell him today…

But first, he was going to have one last smoke.

It would just be one more little smoke, and one that he had further justified with the knowledge of how many he probably had before he even found out he was pregnant.

—
He shot a little smirk at the clearly disapproving look Lawrence was eyeing him with, as he took a cigarette from his little near empty box on the nightstand and lit it up.

"What?" He chuckled, as if he really didn't know. "This place is even cheaper than the shitholes I used to follow you around to, I seriously doubt if anyone's actually gonna give a rat's ass if I light one up in here. Not that it would kill you to get a smoking room once in a while, by the way."

"Yeah, well it wouldn't kill you to take it outside once in a while, either, now would it?"

He took a drag off it. "You love it."

Lawrence sighed. "I'm not arguing with you, just keep it out of the bed. I'm pretty sure they will notice if you light the whole place up."

"Ooh, don't take that tone, if you want me to leave." He teased, putting the cigarette back in his mouth, to hold it there while he reached down to pull some jeans on, before getting up to take it across the room.

—

"Adam."

Adam looked back up, taking the cigarette back out of his mouth. "Yeah?"

"When you're finished with that, there's something we need to talk about."

Adam could feel his heart sink, at those words.

Did he know?

Adam's mind began scrambling, as dozens of different scenarios were flooding it, for what could've possibly tipped him off…...and how he was going to explain away why he hadn't gotten around to telling him, himself, yet.

"...There is?"

It was the tone in his lover's voice, as those words fell from his mouth, that made Lawrence's decision to just get it over with now and not make him wait any longer for it.

He was more than well aware of Adam's tendency to overthink things, in these kinds of situations.

"Yeah….we do." He motioned for Adam to come back over.

Slightly amused again, Adam shot him another smirk with this drag off his cigarette.

"But, you just said…"

"I'll deal with it."

Adam took another drag, smirking still, as he crossed the room again to return to sitting on his side of the bed. "Don't tell me there's someone else, now."

He chuckled as he said it…..although, his smile faded shortly after, when he realized the look on Lawrence's face.

"Lar…..?"

"This was a mistake…." He sighed. "I should've talked to you, before asking you to come here today."

"Talked to me about what?" He asked, before finally coming to his own conclusion before Lawrence could respond. "Is it Alison? …...does she...know?"

"Yeah…" He shook his head. "But...no. She doesn't know about….anything that we…." He sighed. "Look, she just wants to talk about….working things out."

He hated the look on Adam's face, as he was staring back at him, now…..

But what other choice did he have?

Adam scoffed. "So, what? You're…..you're breaking up with me? …..for her?"

"Well, you don't have to put it like that." Lawrence tried to defend. "...besides, you knew this might only be temporary."

"Yeah." Adam scoffed, crushing his cigarette out on his little ash tray, as he stood back up off the bed. "Yeah, I-I did...I guess I was just banking on the maybe of it."

He picked his button up overshirt up off the floor, pulled it on as he walked over to the table that he'd set his camera down on earlier, slung it over his shoulder, and then picked up the cigarette box last and shoved it into his shirt pocket, unintentionally leaving behind his ash tray, as he headed for the door.

"I'll get out of your hair now." He muttered, just loud enough for Lawrence to hear.

—

"Adam, wait."

His hand already on the knob, Adam fought back tears to look back up at him one last time before he left.

"I'm sorry." Though it didn't matter to Adam at this point, the tone of Lawrence's voice was genuine.

"Yeah." Adam huffed on his way out. "Me too."

—

He paused in front of the door, after it had shut behind him, leaning back against it, as he sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes, before continuing down the hallway to make his way back to his car.

Later that night, after having taken some time to himself to go for a drive and listen to some music to clear his head and try to take his mind off things for a little while, he found himself back in the bathroom of his shitty little apartment, sitting on the toilet as he stared back at the pregnancy tests that he'd forgotten to throw away and left on the counter earlier.

He took a deep breath, as he reached for his pocket to take out his phone and get this out of the way before he lost his nerve…..again.

After a couple of failed attempts, he finally just decided to leave a message for Lawrence on his voicemail.

"Hey, Lar, it's me…." He sighed. "Look, I-I just got home, and there's something I need to talk to you about, too…...if you could give me a call back…." He trailed off before hanging it up.

He snapped the phone shut and set it down on the counter in front of him, before folding his arms to rest his head down on them and let out a heavy sigh, as he prepared to wait.