Record That

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!

Chapter 1: Reflection

(The Violent Sequence - Pink Floyd)

It was going to be an average day for Shinji Ikari, or at least it seemed that way. He did have to go to Tokyo-3 today. The letter he got from his father, Gendo, all it said was "Come". Alongside that was a photo of the woman taking him there. She was pretty damn hot, but her juvenile attitude turned Shinji off.

"What kind of woman circles her breasts in her photo for a fourteen year old?"

The boy didn't really care though. He still had to make breakfast, wash, and pack before he went anywhere. Every day seemed the same as the last. When his Sensi had deemed him suitable to live alone at the age of ten. He was left in a small house out in the countryside of Japan. All alone with no one to take care of him.

This has continued for four years. Now, he was fourteen, and less human than he was when he was a child. His emotions seemed to fade away just as quickly as the passage of time. All he did was continue to live. So maybe a trip to the capital would at least remind him that he wasn't the only person alive.

Shinji didn't go outside unless it was to go to school. So every time he stepped out into the sun, he was nearly blinded by it. Living in such a gray depressing prison of a house. It was what led him to be so unaccustomed to bright light. Though he had to bear it in order to see his father again. Even if he wanted nothing to do with the boy. He was the only family that Shinji had left.

"Why….." Shinji suddenly felt uneasy.

It wasn't from the sun, he grew used to that pain to the point where he was numb to it. This feeling was that of fear. As if something bad was about to happen to him. Except, there was nothing around. It was empty farmland for kilometers. So, it was probably just the feeling of not being outside in a while.

Though, as Shinji continued down the street. That uneasy feeling refused to leave him. The long open road that led to the train station, seemed more hostile than he thought it was. Out here, in the large open fields, with nobody around. Someone could get away with murder. And that's what Shinji felt like, a victim, or in this case, prey.

Shinji would look behind every couple of meters or so. Except no matter where he would look, the predator that he felt was stalking him refused to show. Perhaps it was Shinji's unfamiliarity with the countryside. Whenever he would go to school, the bus would come by to pick him up. It was only now that he had to walk down the road towards the town.

"Why…why is it following me?"

The boy didn't really care for a logical explanation. This feeling of dying soon refused to leave him. It was stuck to him like a parasite and only continued to eat away. Eventually, Shinji started to run, except that made him even more fearful. Now, he was growing tired with each meter he had to run. He fell into a state where he now felt that the predator was now right on top of him.

It wanted a challenge, and wouldn't mind chasing after a boy who never felt the need to be too physical. It soon turned into a snowball effect, where Shinji would feel the predator approaching. Thus, he would try running faster, then he would grow more tired. Resulting in him thinking he was about to die.

This continued for a while, with Shinji growing desperate. Then, the train station came into view behind a couple of trees. The boy ran faster than he had ever done in his life. He ran right past the gate, not caring if there was a security man there to take his ticket. He just needed to get inside.

After that, Shinji barged into the bathroom. He finally stopped and began to catch his breath. The boy almost threw up with how hard he had pushed himself, but all he really needed to do was splash his face with water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, covered in sweat, crying and drooling.

He was disappointed in himself, now that he felt safe in the gray industrial bathroom. Shinji realized that all he was doing was borderline hallucinating. Or perhaps suffering from what they called Schizophrenia. What he needed to do right now, was straighten himself out, walk outside and board that train. Better to look like a boy who's at least mentally stable when he meets his father again.

As Shinji turned to the door, what he didn't notice was that his reflection didn't turn with him. After he straightened himself out, the reflection simply stood in that upright position. Watching Shinji as he tried to seem normal. It was when Shinji noticed that out of the corner of his eye that he had no reflection in the mirror. That he turned around quickly in horror.

He briefly saw it, but all he saw was his reflection quickly running to meet up with his movements. Shinji screamed as he looked at his afraid reflection in the mirror. Now following his moves and facial expressions. Fear, an emotion that had faded away from Shinji. Now ruled over him with a powerful grip.

Shinji quickly ran up to the main platform. Scanning his ticket on the gate along the way. Making sure that there was nothing to block his escape. When he got to the platform, Shinji took a deep breath and sat down. He kept his eyes peeled, there was nothing around him that reflected his image. Whatever this thing was….

"It's just my imagination. This isn't real, why am I like this?"

The boy so desperately wanted to escape this world. Or at least tune himself out from it. So, he took out his SDAT player, popped in a random tape he packed with him and tried to tune himself out to the world around him. Except, that proved to be impossible. The music he was listening to wasn't what he had bought. All he had was classical and pop music, this was Rock N' Roll.

Not only that, it was all in English so he didn't fully understand what they were saying. Shinji quickly took out the tape, it was too heavy for his tastes. He quickly fumbled through his bag until he found the cases. They had completely changed, the boy didn't know what they said or what they meant.

"What happened? Which one…..?

Shinji looked at them, despite not understanding what they said, they were unlike anything he had seen. They were so full of color, like something out of a dream. One had a bomb going off in a comic book city. The one he was listening to before had a graveyard on it. And the final one was a picture of a baby in the middle of a flower.

It was this one that made Shinji the most curious, because he couldn't understand which sub-genre this one was. The others he could guess at, perhaps punk and metal. Though, this one seemed off, much like Shinji. He couldn't understand the feeling, but as he looked at the case. It felt like the baby was staring at him. Looking into his soul, but instead of being terrified. The boy was mesmerized by it.

Eventually, he broke this strange state he was in and put the tape in, but it wasn't long before the train showed up. Shinji stood up to prepare to board and as he did. He saw another person standing on the other side of the platform. They were wearing a baby style mask. Exactly like the one on the cover.

Shinji went wide-eyed and wanted to start running. Except, the one standing there kept him in place by revealing what the boy thought. As the person took off the mask, he revealed that it was yet again Shinji's reflection. Staring at him with a disappointed look. The real Shinji thought it was judging him, telling him non-verbally.

'Don't you dare run.'

The train then came into the station and the reflection disappeared. Shinji nearly had a heart attack. And what didn't make it better, was the fact that now the only train to Tokyo-3 was about to take off, with or without him. The boy so desperately wanted to run, but that thought came through his head. The feeling of being hunted came back.

'You're guaranteed to die if you run away.'

That wasn't a voice in his head. It was like an answer that Shinji immediately had to his problem. If it hadn't come to him so quickly, he probably wouldn't have gotten on the train. And as he boarded, Shinji looked all around. The reflection was nowhere to be seen. Then, the doors closed and Shinji noticed something faint in the window.

It was smiling at him, it was an amused grin of death. As if this was exactly what it wanted Shinji to do. He thought this was it, Shinji was now trapped on the train. The doors had closed, all the reflection had to do was close in. Then the train suddenly moved and it knocked Shinji down into a seat.

When Shinji got back up to see if the reflection was still looking at him. He couldn't see anything, it was like it wasn't even there. Shinji wanted this to end, he wanted an escape. He sat there for a while in shivering fear. Until he remembered his SDAT player. He then put his headphones on and hit play.

(Radiohead - You)

(0:00 - 0:12)

Shinji immediately preferred this over the last album. It was a lot more mellow and hypnotic.

(0:13 - 0:25)

Then much like the last album, the real heavy part came in. Though again this one was more bearable. It felt more ethereal and vibrate, like a Rock N' Roll orchestra.

(0:26 - 1:00)

You….are….the sun and moon and stars are you…..

And I….could never run away from you….

Shinji couldn't understand anything. Though he loved the instrumental aspect. He felt as though he was floating on air. It really was as if reality was fading away around him. And the band playing both in his headphones and behind him in the reflection of the window. They were his guides, and they were led by Shinji's reflection. Though Shinji was too out of it to look behind him in order to notice.

(1:01 - 1:24)

You….try….at working out chaotic things.

And why….should believe myself not you…..

The reflection sang to Shinji. Looking down at him as he played lead rhythm guitar. The fact that Shinji didn't understand him only made his smile grow more.

(1:25 - 1:46)

It's….like….the world is going end so soon.

And why….should I believe myself…..

Shinji's eyes began to close and he leaned his head back. He expected to hit the window.

(1:47 - 2:23)

My!

Shinji screamed along with his reflection as he was nearly sucked out of the train. The window had disappeared and he could see the band playing now. Though they were upside down, Shinji didn't care because he was hanging on for dear life. All while the reflection looked on in joy, staring Shinji right in the eyes. As soon as he pulled himself back in, the window reformed. Shinji watched from where he fell on the floor. And how the windows and train around him rippled at the reflection's guitar distortion.

(2:24 to 3:28)

You, me and everything.

Caught up in the fire.

I can see me drowning.

Caught up in the fire.

You, me and everything.

Caught up in the fire.

I can see me drowning.

Caught up in the fire.

(End)

The reflection didn't even need to sing lyrics that Shinji couldn't understand. The look it gave him was that of warning and disappointment. That frown felt so jarring to Shinji when it returned, instead of the deranged smile. And in the last moments, Shinji could see the outlines of the other band members disappear. Along with the reflection, giving him another smile in its last moments.

Though this one seemed genuine, as if the reflection was proud of something. Then, it whispered something, a phrase in English that somehow Shinji could understand.

"You're so very special."

And with that, the reflection disappeared.

Shinji then stood up, and even though a reflection was in the window. It wasn't the same, whatever that thing was had now left. Leaving Shinji was truly alone. The feeling of being hunted was gone, but did he really do anything to ward it away?

The boy then sat down again. Trying as best he could to calm himself. The next song that played helped him a little bit with it. Again, it was calming, but Shinji knew this band by now. They would become heavier later on. Though for now, this felt more low-fi. Which was a good contrast between the first song.

Shinji then looked up at the ceiling. Contemplating how he would explain this to his father.

You're so fucking special.

I wish I was special.

Those lyrics stood out to Shinji. He tensed up as now he could understand at least a little bit. And the reflection made sure it would.

"I'm not special. You can't make me special."

I plan to use one more song off of Pablo Honey, can you guess which one? Though, I have an idea where I could use the entirety of the album. If you want to see that idea. Let me know either in a review or in a poll I'm going to put up.

Thank you for reading.

I hope this made your day a little bit better.

And if not, I'm sorry.