The Straw Hat Crew Reacts to Kung Fu Panda Prologue
I do not own any of the properties discussed in this piece of non-profit fan-based material. Any trademarked materials are strictly the sole property of their respective owners. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this reaction.
The sun broke to a chorus of seagull cries as it's glorious light created a shimmering blanket against the sea's horizon. Normal weather was a gift on the Grand Line and the many who dared to brave its waters would be fools to not to cherish it.
That isn't to say that the wasn't also a surplus of recklessness in these waters, as shown by the motley crew of a certain lion-headed ship, slowly, but surely, fighting forwards against the waves. This was the Thousand Sunny, the flagship of one of the most notorious pirate crews active during the Silver Age of Piracy: The Straw Hats Pirates. Sitting perched atop the figurehead of the king of the beasts, was someone who hoped to one day become King of the Pirates: Monkey D. Luffy, his signature straw hat fluttering against the fresh spray breeze. He was a muscular, yet scrawny boy in his late teens, adorned in an unbuttoned, long sleeved red vest, and pair of loose fitting, wool-lined, jean-shorts. He was a simple boy who enjoyed the simple pleasures of life and adamantly refused to let anything wipe the infectious grin off his face.
"NAMIIIII! When are gonna get there?!"
Well, almost anything.
"WOULD YOU SHUT IT?! YOU JUST ASKED ME FIVE MINUTES AGO, WHAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY CHANGED IN JUST FIVE MINUTES?!", screamed the eponymous orange-haired navigator of the Straw Hat Pirates, before she returned to studying a small device on her wrist.
"We're making decent headway, with this tailwind we should be there within the HOUR", Nami announced, making a pointed effort to enunciate the time frame to the immature captain of the ship. The only response she received was a small pout from the teen.
"Ahh, Nami's so divine when she's brutally giving out directions", sighed a blonde man in his early twenties. His golden locks had been swept over to the right side of his face leaving only his left eye visible and he was wearing a pitch-black suit, with a yellow undershirt. This however, was far from his most defining trait, however, as somehow his eyebrow had curled inwards on itself, forming a spiral pattern in the centre of his forehead.
There was also the fact that in a grand biology-defying feat, his one exposed eye had somehow turned into a perfect pink, cartoon heart, but for Sanji, the resident lady-loving cook of the crew, it was all par for the course.
"Hey cook! If you aren't in the kitchen then what are you even good for? I need a refill while you're at it", hollered Zoro, a young green-haired man marked by a scar over his left eye and three swords hanging off his haramaki. He had a gruff demeanour at the best of times, but he hated Sanji almost as much as he hated sobriety.
"You have legs Mosshead! But knowing you, you'd somehow get lost on your way to the kitchen, so maybe I should go."
"Why you little!", shouted the crew's second in command before leaping at the cook, swords drawn. The two began to engage in other of their trademark brawls, both perfectly countering the attacks of the other, almost as if they were in lockstep. Before long, though, their impromptu sparring session was brought to a swift end by Nami's crushing fist.
"YOU TWO STOP IT AS WELL! I SWEAR IF WE DON'T GET TO THE NEXT ISLAND SOON, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!"
"That's the spirit Nami!," Luffy chirped in with a smile so wide it nearly spread across his entire face.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!," Nami returned with a snarl. Once the navigator was riled up it took a while for her to calm down. Something that her crewmates had learned the very, very, very hard way.
"I'm gonna have to agree with Nami here", voiced Usopp, the long-nosed sniper of the crew. "Almost two weeks without being able to stop at port even once is seriously pushing it. Even for us. I think I may be coming down with a case of 'Can't-stay-on-the-ship-anymore disease'".
The liar then flopped down onto the Sunny's grassy deck in an outward display of mock exhaustion.
"OH MY GOD! USOPP'S DYING!," shrieked a small bipedal, reindeer-human hybrid wearing a blue and pink bonnet, a pair of maroon shorts, a stripped yellow and white vest, and blue backpack that seemed to constitute almost half of his body weight. As the doctor of the ship, Tony Tony Chopper had a responsibility to keep his teammates safe… even if they were in no current danger.
"He can't go on land and he can't stay on a ship. You may very well be one of the most peculiar pirates I've ever come across Usopp," noted a statuesque woman in her early thirties dressed in blue, tight-fitting, sleeved leather vest and pink pareo with floral detailing. As one of the more mature members of the crew, Nico Robin, the archaeologist, was far more patient with their travelling arrangements; though she couldn't deny that she too was feeling the effects of the ship-wide malaise.
"Yo guys is it possible to get cabin fever when you're not in a cabin?", inquired the shipwright, Franky. He was mountain of a man, with a broad chest that seemed to almost be too large for the legs that were carrying it. Due to his nature as a cyborg, his arms were plated metal and rectangular, with a star symbol emblazoned across each forearm. He was scantily dressed in naught but a palm tree beach shirt and a pair of speedos, but, despite the frequent protests of his friends, he honestly didn't mind. What he did care about was the dangerously low stores of cola left in the pantry, without it neither the Sunny, nor he would be much help in the case of an ambush.
"You always ask the most bizarre questions, Franky", replied Jimbei, the crew's most recent addition as well as their helmsman. He was a whale-shark fishman making him tower over most humans, though Jimbei himself was a particular egregious example even amongst the other residents of Fishman island. He was dressed in a practical, yet imposing orange kimono and even completed the look of the honourable warrior-type look by tying his hair back in a topknot.
"Besides, how can there be such a thing as 'ship fever' when we have all this open ocean around us to explore right now?"
"Easy for you to say Jimbei", said Usopp, who suddenly leap to his feet, both shocking and relieving Chopper in equal amounts "Not all of us can breathe underwater and take a freezing cold, 50,000 leagues dip whenever we want!"
"Yeah, what he said!", Both Luffy and Chopper cheered, reinforcing the sentiment of the sniper.
"Wahaha, sorry guys." Jimbei responded with a laugh, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"Regardless, hey Brook, see anything up there?" Nami questioned the crew's musician, who was perched on at the top of the ship's crows nest, strumming a gentle chord on his guitar. He was a thin, yet tall man, dressed in a flamboyant high-end rock star clothes, framed by a yellow feather boa and a giant crown, which rested on top of his trademark afro. It all seemed to be a few sizes too big for him – which probably had something to do with the fact that he was an animated skeleton; who could say for sure?
"I'm looking right now Nami… if I let you know, will you show me your pan- URGH!," Brook screamed as the navigator threw a large rock at the skeleton's head.
"JUST TELL US!," Nami roared.
"I can see an island due directly east about 10 klicks out", Brook informed politely, in almost stark contrast to his earlier perversion.
"WAIT REALLY?!", almost the entire crew perked up instantly, immediately rushing to the Sunny's front deck to indeed see a small island, dotted with comparatively miniscule, beige buildings and a clearly visible ivory spire at the centre. It was a clear sign of civilization.
Which meant supplies.
Which meant food.
Which meant that Luffy was probably already on his way to rush out.
"Got it! Thanks Brook!," Luffy cheered happily as he rushed to the back of the ship and stretched his arms out to the Sunny's figurehead.
"He's not going to?," Sanji questioned Zoro in a rare moment of solidarity.
"It's Luffy, of course he is", the swordsman huffed, already knowing that their daily doses of inconvenient shenanigans were imminent.
Luffy's arms went taught as he strained himself against the iron clad force of his grip on the figurehead, "Alright, now Gum-Gum…!"
"Hey Luffy! You can't just run off…", Usopp and Chopper both yelped at the rubber boy, sprinting at him with the force of a dozen triathlon runners.
"That's right get him you two!", Nami, Sanji and Franky hollered in unison.
"…without us!", the sniper and doctor finished. Normally, neither of them would like to be within spitting distance of their captains antics, but the two weeks of isolation had greatly impaired their otherwise slightly sound judgement.
"OH, COME ON!"
"…Rocket!," with both Usopp and Chopper clutching onto him for dear life, the rubber boy shot forward through the air and soared towards their destination at breakneck speeds.
"THOSE IDIOTS! THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN CARRY THEM ALL THE WAY TO THE ISLAND, THEY'RE GONNA DROWN!", Nami screeched.
"Well, looks like we've got clean up duty again. Let's get to it," Zoro sighed. He had never expected that this was what he was signing himself up for all those years ago.
"This looks like it's going to be an interesting day", Robin chuckled before using her Devil Fruit powers to angle the sails in accordance with the navigator's vitriol-filled directions.
…
"Oh crap! Maybe I misjudged." Usopp stammered as he viewed the immense stretch of water that was whistling by underneath him, "Chopper, do you think you can stop us from drowning with a Guard Point?"
"Sure, but I don't think that'll be necessary.", the small reindeer replied, his eyes swirling from the speed and his furred face somehow turning a sickly green.
"Why?"
"Because we're already here!," Luffy announced with a devilish giggle.
Usopp's head shot forward as he saw a large oak arch sign with the words 'Welcome!', emblazoned across in a large red font. It was hurtling towards them at a rather alarming speed. The long-nosed teen let out a petrified yowl so great that his gaping maw threatened to break clean off of his head.
Chopper copied the action, in contrast to Luffy who simply let out a hearty laugh that turned into a wounded gasp, as the trio smashed straight through the sign and landed flat on their faces at the entrance to the port town.
The three of them groaned, until Luffy shot up to his feet and let out a small whoop of excitement, his rubber body negating the damage of the impact. His friends, however, were not so lucky.
"THAT WAS AWESOME! I REALLY GOTTA DO THAT AGAIN SOMETIME!," the young captain screamed in excitement before he was met with a two-pronged assault from his crewmates.
"Next time, don't bring us with you!", both of them screeched with an uncharacteristic level of fury.
"But you guys wanted to come with me", Luffy complained through his now swollen face.
"Regardless of that, what is this place?", Usopp questioned as he swivelled around on his heel to take in the new surroundings.
Chopper walked over to the broken sign, picked up a large plaque that had previously been affixed to it and read it out loud:
"Showreel Island, home to the best that Vis-Snail has to offer." As soon as the words has left his mouth, Chopper's eyes sparkled with profound realisation.
"People come here to watch Vis-Snail productions! This is so cool!"
"Aww come on! I just had this sign waxed!," a new voice sounded from one of the buildings. The trio turned to face it's origin; a young man, perhaps in his mid-twenties, dressed in a pair of smudged denim overalls and leather boots. Around his neck hung a miniature lamp-like object, whilst small tuffs of dirty brown hair were visible under a slightly oversized beret.
"It was going to be so perfect, folks from every walk of life docking, coming out taking a picture under the Grand Entrance, getting ready for the big event; it would've been so picturesque.", the young man huffed in exasperation.
"Yeah, sorry. We had kind of a… rough parking experience", Usopp apologized whilst taking a glance back at the 'handiwork' caused by both his compatriots and himself.
"Well, it's nothing that another afternoon won't solve – hold on I've seen you guys somewhere before…", the young boy proclaimed before giving each of the trio a good once-over. Especially Luffy. A sudden realization flooded over his face.
"Holy crud! You're the Straw Hats! You guys are seriously big time!", he exclaimed before giving each of the three boys a handshake and using the object around his neck to snap a picture of them, individually. He then folded a crank of the side of the box, which opened to reveal a small mouse dressed in black and white striped shirt, and matching beret. The diminutive rodent wielded a downscaled artist pen and furiously scribbled down on three separate pieces until a tiny cloud of smoke started to emanate from his area of work. Half a minute later the mouse presented each of the boys an artistic depiction of themselves, only with mouse whiskers and ears, before squeaking happily and pulling a lever to close the small box again.
"Please don't tell us you're call the Navy on us using these right?", Usopp held up the portraits before rolling them up and stuffing them into his satchel, whilst Luffy and Chopper started clawing at the bag to retrieve their new drawings.
"What? Oh, God no! You guys are just so picturesque, and Anton always loves an excuse to show off, don't you little guy?," the mouse in question acknowledged with an affirmatory chirp from inside the box, whilst the young man gave a smirk.
Both Usopp and Luffy responded by cupping their chins and adopting self-satisfied smirks, whilst Chopper started to dance like a giddy hula dancer, "Yes, we are quite photogenic aren't we/ Shut up, you moron. Little comments like that aren't gonna win me over".
"You guys are so weird. I'm Lumiere. I assume you're here for the premiere then?"
"Premiere? Do you usually respond to pirate attacks with a movie offering?," Chopper questioned.
"It's how we manage to keep things running here", Lumiere responded as the started to lead the group inland towards the giant spire. "We get all manner of high-profile folks to come here by shipping out Eternal Poses. Some of these turn out to be big name pirates, which draws in a lot of attention, namely from Marines and bounty hunters, and that whole thing cascades outwards from there."
"Sounds pretty busy", said Luffy distantly, more focused on the abundance of manned food stalls serving all manner of customers from every walk of life.
"Busy is what keeps the business afloat", Lumiere responded as he puffed air out of his previously inflated cheeks.
"Isn't indirectly inviting a ton of powerful people, many of whom have very legitimate grievances with each other, kind of counterintuitive to a peaceful living arrangement?", Usopp fearfully questioned, now looking over his shoulder in case anyone recognisable might have been tailing them.
"You'd be surprised how little chaos people cause when they have a good distraction. Plus, I'm pretty confident in our security system. It hasn't failed us yet."
"What kind of security system?," asked Chopper.
"If you're lucky you'll never have to see it," Lumiere replied enigmatically.
They continued their tour until they arrived at a plaza which rested just before the spire. Now that the three Straw Hats were standing right in front the structure they noticed a red carpet that led all the way to the entrance, which was capped by a huge doorway framed by two statues of Adonis-esque men, posed in mirror opposite of each other.
"Pretty swanky place you've got here, but I wanna go grab something to eat", Luffy complained. It had been almost half an hour since he had last eaten and that simply wouldn't do.
"Why do you think I lead you here? The high-quality stuff is in the lobby inside." Lumiere pointed at the entrance.
"Why didn't you just say so!," Luffy cheered as he prepared to make a mad dash into the building.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!", a familiar voice rang through the plaza and, in a flash of orange, Luffy was laid out on the ground, a large lump sprouting from his head.
"Honestly, is the word 'wait' not in your vocabulary?", Nami questioned with a scowl as she grabbed Luffy by the scruff of his collar.
"I'm sowwy", Luffy moaned through his newly swollen face.
"Regardless, I think it did us a world of good to get out and stretch our legs", Robin commented, with the rest of the crew following closely behind her.
"Woah," Lumiere suddenly commented before his eyes went literally starstruck, "The entirety of the Straw Hat Crew coming to grace the Needlepoint with their presence. Anton, overtime!", he called before clicking the box around his neck a couple more times, one for each of the remaining members. It clicked open once more and Anton, again, began to furiously scribble down more rodent-inspired artworks; his pen smoking to such a degree that it actually sparked a flame, before the mouse had to furiously blow at the embers in an attempt to make them die down. After Anton was finished and retreated back into the box, Lumiere handed out the remaining photos to each of the crew, who each appraised the work with reactions ranging from delight to confusion.
"Fantastic. Now that you're all here I suggest we get a move on; the showing's about to start," Lumiere excitedly giggled as he half-walked, half-sprinted to the entrance.
"What, the hell are you talking about?", Sanji questioned as he discreetly folded the mouse-photo into the back pocket.
"Wait, didn't you guys… oh right, the sign", Lumiere playfully knocked himself on the head, before recomposing himself. "This place? Showreel Island.", he then pointed at the newly named Needlepoint, "That? The most exclusive Vis-Snail movie venue on the Grand Line; possibly the world. I, Lumiere, will be your usher for the day," he proclaimed with a slight flourish
"But you were fixing a sign earlier?", Chopper questioned.
"Only one job? In this economy? You must be joking. Now do you want the tickets or not? It's a triple feature and free, provided you can give us some endorsement afterwards."
The crew took cursory glances at each other, first to the usher, then back to each other. With a whistle, Zoro corralled them into a circle, where they huddled up and began whispering amongst themselves.
"I can't be the only one who finds this slightly suspicious," Zoro began.
"Yeah, something is definitely up," Nami agreed with a curt nod.
"He mentioned something about a security system, other than that I haven't seen anything worth worrying about," Chopper added.
"I don't mean to sound dismissive, but if any threat does show up, why not just deal with it as it comes?", Jimbei contributed, whilst the crew allowed his characteristically wise words to settle in.
"I agree, besides a little break might do us some good, wouldn't you all say?", Robin commented. Having spent most her life on the run allowed her unique insight to the legitimacy of such establishments. If she saw nothing wrong with this then it was a sure sign for her friends.
"Depends, what do you think Luffy? Sound good?," Zoro asked his captain who ultimately held the final say.
"Sure, sound fun. Besides, would I ever let you guys get into trouble?", Luffy giggled only to be met with a chorus of flat stares from his crewmates. They then turned back to Lumiere.
"Alright, usher guy, lead the way!", Luffy cheered.
"Woo-Hoo! This is gonna be SUPER!", Franky exclaimed striking his trademark pose.
"Indeed, it'll be good to lay these weary bones down… because they're all that's left me, YOHOHOHO!", Brook joined in.
"Yeah, you guys are definitely weird, I'll show you the way", Lumiere commented as he beaconed them all forward towards the Needlepoint's lobby.
…..
Ten minutes later, the crew had entered a screening area filled with 10x15 rows of seats. The larger members began to occupy the seats at the back, whilst they rest arranged themselves on the middle row. Luffy found himself having to extend his arms to carry all of the snacks he had ordered at the reception desk, whilst Chopper and Usopp gorged themselves on the confectionary they bought. Nami and Robin opted to move to the sides to avoid the 'splash zone' of the voracious carnage the youngest members of the crew were partaking in, whilst Zoro and Sanji started arguing over their seating arrangements before finally coming to an unsteady truce after a threat of retribution from the navigator. After the arrangements had been made Lumiere re-entered the room, now dressed in slightly wrinkled tuxedo. He then started to read off some prompt cards that he produced from his pocket.
"Hello dear patrons, we welcome you here today to blah, blah, blah", he tailed off before tossing the collection of cards behind him, "Alright, just be mindful of each other and be noted that there will be a brief intermission between each showing. Without further ado I present to you our feature presentation: Kung Fu Panda!"
"Wait, what?", the entire crew deadpanned before the lights dimmed and the Vis-Snail suspended from the ceiling above them whirred to life and began projecting onto the bland canvas in front of them.
Prologue Done.
Hey Guys, I honestly don't know what possessed me to make this, but I guess I have to see this out to it's logical conclusion. Writing a reaction fic is not advisable unless you have a decent grasp on the character's personalities and how each of them would react in specific situations. I hope I've portrayed the Straw Hats in a way that was at least partially similar to their actual personalities, but if any of you guys have ideas on how I can improve I will happily take them.
How this works is that I will go through each KFP film until the trilogy is over. Do not ask me for reactions to Legends of Awesomeness, Paws of Destiny or Dragon Knight because I don't want to do those. I aim to split each film into three parts, one from each act of each film. If I plan of deviating from this pattern, I'll let you know in the next Author Note.
One last thing, If any of you can be bothered please let me know precise rules for the Do's and Don'ts's for Reaction Fics because the rules seem particularly nebulous on this site.
Hope to see you next time. Ciao.