"Can I ask you something?" I look at him hesitantly from the passenger seat. We just stopped for dinner at a drive-through, getting a quick meal of rice and chicken, and are on the way to my parents' house.
"Of course." Tobias replies. "You can ask me anything, Tris."
"Why were you trying to keep me away from Robert at the wedding?" I didn't understand why he did that. He can't possibly still be jealous of him. He lets out a sigh before answering.
"He is obsessed with you, Tris. He chased you down everywhere even when you rejected him countless times. He threatened me to leave you alone when he found out we were engaged. I never took his threats seriously, because I didn't think he'd actually do anything. But I found him at the hospital once, when you were still unconscious, I don't know what he was doing there or how he got to know about your accident. I also found out that he was the one who insisted Susan to make you a part of her wedding. I think he was planning on making another move on you. I wanted to punch him in the face when I saw him flirting with you today." He breathes deeply, trying to calm his anger.
"I had no idea he was so obsessed." I shake my head in disbelief. "I always thought he was harmless."
"I did, too. But it's okay now, you're safe with me." He takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.
"Tobias, I'm sorry for calling you possessive when I was mad. I was just so confused and overwhelmed with everything going on, and I didn't understand your actions." I say, regretting my words.
"Hey, you don't have to apologise, baby. You are absolutely not at fault here. And truth be told, I am a little possessive. I hate the thought of you with someone else, and my brain goes into overdrive. So it makes me do crazy things sometimes. But know that I trust you completely." He says.
I lean over and kiss his cheek, still holding onto his hand. Tobias is surprised at that, but immediately grins. He stares into my eyes for a few seconds before getting serious again.
"Also, while I'm telling you the truth, or rather revealing the truth, I think you should know that that man in the restaurant the other day, the creepy one who was staring at you, that, uh-, that was my father, Marcus." He tells me.
"What? The one who treated you like shit? Why was he following me? Wait, have I met him before?" I ask, shocked.
"No, I would kill him with my bare hands if he even tried getting close to you. But he keeps tabs on my life, and he follows me. That is how he got his gaze on you, too. I told him to back off multiple times, but this was the last straw, showing up at your bakery. I need to put him in his place." He sighs.
"Are you okay?" I ask, and he looks at me with surprise. "What?"
"You're the one receiving new information every half a second and you're asking if I'm okay? You are unbelievable, Tris." He shakes his head.
"From what I've heard, what I remember, I know how difficult talking about him is for you. So yes, I'm worried if you're okay." I say.
"All you need to know is that I don't care about him right now. My priority is you, Tris. And it always will be." He holds my hand firmly, rubbing his thumb on the back of it.
I look at him with a strange feeling going through me, and it makes my heart race. But then I realise where we are, and it races faster for a completely different reason. I look at the front of my parents' house, watching him park the car into the driveway. I take a deep breath in, then get out.
Unlocking the door with shaky hands, I open it slowly. Tobias is right behind me, but he doesn't seem nervous. Mom is pacing in the living room, and Dad looks worried as he watches her, and then his eyes catch mine.
"Beatrice!" He gets up from the couch. Mom turns around at his voice and sees me standing in the hallway.
"Beatrice, where have you been?" She rushes to me, and then she notices who's behind me. "Tobias?"
They both look shocked, and they stand there staring at us. And then the realisation of what is happening sinks in, changing the colour on their faces. That was all I needed to see to believe that Tobias is telling the truth. Not that he could have made up such an elaborate lie.
"Do you know?" Mom asks tentatively.
"I know bits and pieces, not everything." I say. Even though I know why they hid stuff from me and kept me in the dark, I can't help but feel a little betrayed. And also mad at myself for not catching it on.
"Oh, sweetie. Are you okay?" Mom asks.
I shake my head no, because I am not okay. My whole life got turned upside down today. And I don't remember the past 4 years. She takes me in her arms, trying to comfort me.
"Come over here, sit down." She says and we all settle down in the living room.
"How did you find out?" Dad asks.
"I made a mistake, I shouldn't have said anything but the words slipped out of my mouth and it was too late to take them back." Tobias rambles on nervously before I can answer.
"It's okay, Tobias." Dad tries to calm his nerves. "She is fine."
"Sweetheart, what do you remember right now?" Mom asks me.
"I remember that I'm 20, I had my own apartment, I work at the bakery, and I had gotten into an accident with Caleb a few months ago." I say. "But today I learnt that that was all 4 years ago. And that I'm married now, and I'm 24, and that maybe I'm dumb."
"Hey, don't say that."
"No, Beatrice it's not your fault."
"No, don't call yourself that."
They all speak simultaneously, but I don't think I can believe them.
"Can one person please tell me the whole truth?" I ask them.
"Natalie, you should tell her." Dad says to Mom.
"Okay, I'll tell you everything." Mom says taking my hand, but I feel it's more to comfort herself than me. "It happened when we got a call from a very distraught Tobias, he was all over the place, his words not making any sense, and all I could understand was that you had just been in an accident. So, your Dad and I rushed to the hospital, where we found Tobias, and he was crying endlessly." She looks at Tobias with sadness. "I tried to comfort him while Dad spoke to the doctors, and we found that you were in a cab on your way home when a truck hit you. It was very bad, the driver and you were taken to the hospital immediately. He wasn't as injured as you, because the truck crashed into the vehicle from your side. You had a head injury, a broken rib, and a broken leg, and they had to perform surgery on you. There were glass shards everywhere, and even though they got everything out in time and were able to perform the procedure, the impact was too hard, and you fell into a coma. We were heartbroken, Beatrice. Tobias was inconsolable. We didn't know what to do, we just felt so helpless." I see the tears in her eyes.
"Mom." I whisper, and she hugs me close. When we pull back, Tobias grabs my hand and holds it close to him. I think reliving all that is making him emotional, too. "What happened after that?" I ask, feeling a lump in my throat.
"There was nothing to be done but to wait. They treated your other injuries, and kept checking on you everyday. Dad and I went home eventually, but Tobias wouldn't budge. He was there with you everyday. He never left your side except for taking showers and bringing you necessities." She says.
I look at Tobias and see how hurt he is. And I never picked up on that, never noticed the sadness behind his eyes. God, what I would give to remember it all, remember him.
"Caleb also came to visit, trying to be there for you. But he had to go back home after a few days, Cara couldn't handle the-" Mom stops herself, her eyes going wide.
"What?" I sit up, alarmed.
"Oh, no. I should have said something earlier. I-"
"Sweetheart, Caleb is a father now. He has two beautiful children with Cara. Twins, a boy and a girl. Patrick and Paisley. They are one year old." Dad says slowly.
"What?!" I let out a gasp, my voice not working.
"I know it's quite a shock, Beatrice. But it all happened so fast when Cara got pregnant and then everything was so chaotic for a while. But you helped her so much through it all, and the kids adore you. They miss their Auntie Tris." Mom says.
"I, I don't remember them Mom." And now I feel the tears start. Everything else I could somehow make myself believe, everything else that I can't remember, but to forget the birth of my nephew and niece? It is beyond shattering.
Tobias squeezes my hand, but I can't bring myself to look at him. He moves closer to me, wrapping his arms around me, and I just sob into his chest. Nothing feels worse than this, mourning the loss of the life I can't remember.
He whispers sweet nothings into my ear, but I can't stop. I don't know how I got here. I don't know how my life got so far away from me. And I don't know how to go from here. How do I get myself back? How do I find the new me?
"It'll be alright. I'm here with you always, love. It's gonna be okay." Tobias whispers.
"How? How is it gonna be okay? I don't remember my life, I don't remember anything." I cry, the sadness and the anger and the helplessness and the pain all coming together and filling me up.
"We will go talk to your doctor tomorrow first thing in the morning, sweetheart. I'll make an appointment right away. We will figure something out, I promise." Dad says.
I don't know what to believe anymore. My crying eventually stops, and I sniffle, pulling back and looking at the tear stained shirt of Tobias. My eyes meet his, and he looks sad. I feel the guilt gnawing at me.
"Beatrice, we love you, you know that right? This will get easier. I know it will. We just have to be there for each other." Mom tries to comfort me, ever the optimist. I nod my head slowly, trying to breathe. "You're very tired, dear. You should go rest, get some sleep."
"Yeah," I mumble, but I know something doesn't seem right. "Actually, I think I'll go back with Tobias." I say, surprising everyone and myself.
"Really?" Tobias asks.
"Yes. If I want to get my memories back, then I have to start living my current life." I nod.
"You're right." He says, and we all stand up.
Mom and Dad hug me tight, and I realise how much they have been holding themselves back this whole time. Dad then hugs Tobias, telling him that he knows I'm safe with him. Mom hugs him as well, and I pick up on their use of 'son' referring to him. It makes my heart swell, knowing that they all get along so well.
And then we're on our way back. I feel really nervous, even though it was my idea to stay with him. I know we're married, but I'm still that 20 year old girl who doesn't remember her husband. Tobias senses it, and tries to comfort me the best he can. And in no time, we are in our home. It still feels weird to say.
"If you want to take a shower, you have clothes upstairs and everything else you might need." Tobias says, clearing his throat.
"Okay, that sounds nice." I head upstairs to the bedroom, our bedroom, and then into the closet, looking around in wonder. I have a large collection of clothes, and I rummage around till I find a set of pyjamas and underwear.
I walk into the shower, turning it on, and then undress myself. I feel weird and anxious, the place feels strange. I decide to lock the door and feel a little better. Although I know Tobias won't invade my privacy, I still feel nervous.
Taking a quick shower, I let the long day wash off of me and down the drain. I still can't believe all the information I got today. It is completely unreal. I feel like I'll wake up tomorrow and realise it's all a dream, or a simulation. But I know it's real, it feels real.
I put on the clothes after drying myself, and they fit perfectly. Of course, they do, they're mine. Looking at myself in the mirror as I brush out my hair, I realise what it is I've been seeing. All this time I couldn't point out what was different about me, but I look older. I am older.
Letting out a loud sigh, I unlock and walk out of the bathroom. I don't see Tobias anywhere, so I call for him. In a second, he walks in the door, and I see that he has changed into a plain T-shirt and pyjama bottoms. He looks insanely good for wearing such normal clothes.
"Do you need anything?" He asks.
"No, I just couldn't find you." I say.
"I thought I'd let you have the bed and sleep on the couch." He says, his voice deep.
"Oh." I whisper. He's really trying hard to make me feel safe. But something about it disappoints me. "You can sleep here, Tobias. I trust you." I say, meaning each word, but more importantly, wanting him here with me.
"Are you sure?" He is hesitant.
"Yeah. I mean, I do know you as my boyfriend, and one of these days we were bound to spend the night at the other's place." I say, my cheeks burning red.
"Is that right?" He grins.
"You know I didn't mean it that way." I shake my head, feeling shy.
"Okay, then. I'll sleep here." He smiles.
I get into bed, pulling the covers over me, and notice him just standing there and smiling. "What?" I ask.
"Nothing, it's just that you got into your side of the bed. And I didn't even have to tell you that you slept on the left side." I let the meaning of his words sink in, and I smile too.
"What does that mean?" I ask him, feeling hopeful.
"That you're still you. And we have a chance to bring you back." His eyes get teary.
"Yeah, I want that more than anything, Tobias." My expression mirrors his.
He slowly settles on his side, keeping a considerable amount of distance between us. I see his eyes shine in the dim light of the lamp, and there's an unfamiliar look in them.
"What are you thinking about?" I whisper, turning on my side to face him.
"It's been so long since I've had you here with me. I've spent a lot of lonely nights without you, just wishing you were here, and now you are. It feels surreal." He murmurs. I notice the love in his eyes, glowing strongly as he looks at me, and again I'm taken aback by their intensity.
"Tobias, will you tell me everything about us? I wanna know everything, please." I beg.
"Of course, baby. It all started when..." And he begins telling me the story of us.
A/N: A very merry Christmas and happy holidays to all! Hope you're enjoying it so far!