Mei crept inside the house, stepping softly so as not to be heard. Her hands shook around the snow shovel. Please be as solid as the gear we make my babies with. That reminded her, later they'd have to make a baby to shovel snow for her-
Mei heard sounds of a struggle further inside, then voices. Peering through a doorway, she saw the two idiot baby-thieves standing over Izuku.
"What are we going to do to him?" the scarred one said.
"Same thing he did to us," said the other.
"Make him step on a nail?"
"Then shock his hand."
Dabi grinned. "Set him on fire then drop him through the stairs!"
"Smash his face with a paint can!" Tomura said.
Mei crept behind them, raising her shovel.
"But first," Tomura said, cocking his fist back, "I'm going to punch him in the fa–"
"IZUKU!" Mei swung the snow shovel into the back of Tomura's head. Tomura staggered forward, then fell to the ground. The goth one turned around, his eyes widening as Mei swung her shovel again.
"I hate kids," he muttered as he too fell, landing on top of his partner, and headbutting him in the process. Mei hit them one more time for safety.
Mei turned to her lab partner and future shareholder in Hatsume Industries. "Izuku! Are you ok? Did they hurt you?"
Izuku shook his head. "I'm fine. I need to dip my face in ice but aside from that I should be–" He yelped in surprise as Mei dragged him to his feet and felt his face. She didn't see any damage, but she wasn't as good at spotting that in people as in her babies. Shifting from foot to foot, Mei tried to understand the strange feeling under her chest. Maybe just concern that her experiments would be delayed if her lab partner was in less than perfect condition?
In the distance, sirens sounded. Mei and Izuku quickly escaped the neighbor's house. They watched from a distance as the two robbers were carried into an ambulance with cuffs and a police escort.
Their Christmas Eve ordeal was finally over.
After listening to Tomura and Dabi get beaten up with a snow shovel, All for One laughed until tears came from his eyes. How exquisite! That shriek from Dabi at the end was an easy nine out of ten. This was why All for One kept those idiots around–quality entertainment!
Maybe All for One should recruit those two kids into his organization to make up for his henchmen getting arrested. They definitely had the sadism down pat.
All for One collected himself. He had no further time to waste, since he was late for a meeting with the Senior Citizens of Musutafu Organization. He planned to scam them out of their charitable fund for the elderly by convincing them to invest in his fraudulent pyramid scheme. He started his car. In the snowy conditions, he drove slowly.
Along the way, All for One kept replaying the scene of Dabi getting hit by the shovel and then falling on top and headbutting Tomura. He laughed so hard, his eyes blurred with tears. As he struggled to regain his sight, All for One's foot slipped on the gas pedal, sending him flying down the road.
Police sirens sounded behind him. Humbug, caught speeding. Running would cause more trouble, he should just take the ticket. He could probably still make it to his meeting. Half the geezers usually showed up late.
Unrolling his window, All for One said, "I'm dreadfully sorry, officer, I was only speeding because I'm desperate to get home to my darling children in time for Christ…mas…" He trailed off as he saw the face of the very last person he wanted to meet: Officer Midoriya Toshinori. That foolish police officer had held an intense grudge against All for One ever since he tricked his mentor Nana into running over her captain's foot, thus causing her early retirement.
Toshinori smirked. "Sir, you appear to be going over the speed limit." He didn't even try to hide his smug tone.
"Go on, give me the ticket," All for One growled, leaning back in his seat. He'd more than make up the fine defrauding senior citizens.
"I'll need to see your driver's license and car registration."
"Shouldn't you be home with your family on Christmas?" All for One grumbled as he opened his wallet.
"I'm working hard to keep robbers like you away from them," Toshinori said with a hard glint in his eye.
"That's slander. I could sue you." Belatedly, All for One realized the identification inside was for his fake identity he'd been using in his scams. He didn't have his real ID anywhere in the car.
Toshinori looked at the driver's license. "When I last met you, you were using a different name."
"You must be thinking of someone else," All for One insisted, despite knowing it was futile.
"You're under arrest for using a false ID."
"This is an abuse of police power for personal reasons!" All for One protested, despite letting the officer handcuff him. After all, while he would miss the meeting, he could easily get out of this by pulling his "forgetful old man" act. There was no reason to give Toshinori an excuse to hit him with more charges by resisting arrest.
That said, All for One couldn't resist getting one last jab in. He whispered, "Psst, I think you know one of my employees. Perhaps I should call him in as a character witness? He's so very deeply involved in my business, after all. His name is Shigaraki Tomura–formerly Shimura Tenko, Shimura Nana's grandson!"
Smirking, All for One waited for the horrible truth to sink in.
Toshinori gazed with befuddlement, as if trying to figure out if this was a clever plan or All for One had gone senile. "Nana had a daughter. Who I'm married to. And our son is named Izuku."
All for One gasped. Toshinori had stolen his dream son, that evil sadistic boy. That fiend! Yet he begged the question: "Then who's Shimura Kotaro's mother?!"
"Who?" Judging from Toshinori's expression, he'd settled on senile. " Nana isn't related to every Shimura in Japan. It's a common last name you know."
"Nakanishi you incompetent twits!" All for One howled as he was forced into the police car.
(Yes, in this universe Kotaro was not related to Nana because I guess the universe decided to cut her a break.)
As All for One was carted away in the police car, he would swear he heard the sound of ghostly laughter drifting on the wind.
Inko dialed the Hatsume's number for the fifth time in a row. Yes, doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome was textbook insanity, but she was losing her mind from worry!
Inko's return home had been delayed by a snowstorm canceling her train. On top of that, the roads hadn't been plowed, so she couldn't even catch a taxi. Oh, how bitterly she regretted being away from her family this near to Christmas. She'd gotten another train ticket for noon tomorrow to get her home barely in time for the afternoon after Christmas. Yet it bothered her that she couldn't reach her son and tell him that she would be late.
Her husband kept his phone off during work, so it wasn't surprising that she couldn't reach him. She'd called the Bakugos, but they said Izuku was staying with a different friend because Katsuki had a cold and gave her the Hatsume's number.
Although it pained Inko to say it, as far as he knew her son didn't have other friends. He was a sweet, lovely boy, and often jumped in when other kids were bullied, but this made him into a target himself. So when the Hatsume phone number only gave her a dial tone, Inko wondered if the family even existed. She really, really hoped that her son hadn't made up this friendship to avoid troubling the adults around him. But she'd also tried her home phone and gotten no response. Her concern was turning into panic.
The fifth time Inko dialed the Hatsumes, the call went through.
In the kitchen, Izuku found ice to put on his face. Mei was tinkering by the freezer, already muttering about building a machine to hold the ice in place. Parts were spread across the counter.
"We did it, huh?" Izuku flashed Mei a tired smile. "You were amazing."
Mei nodded. "You have proven yourself to be an invaluable lab partner."
The phone rang. Oh, the phone lines must have been repaired. Going into the living room, Izuku picked it up. "Hatsume residence."
"IZUKU!" his mother's voice cried.
"Mom?" He blinked.
"Why haven't you been picking up my calls? I've been very worried."
"Sorry, Mom. We had a tiny lab accident, and the phone lines went out." Izuku thought this a better and more reassuring explanation than telling about the robbers. But judging from his mother's gasp on the other end, he should have come up with a less explosive reason.
"Lab accident?" Inko sounded confused and a little suspicious. "What kinds of games have you been playing?"
"Not games exactly. Mei is an absolutely brilliant inventor. She has trophies all over the walls." Izuku's eyes went up to the wall covered in hanging awards and plaques. "She's a genius, and I've been having great fun. We even built an airplane together."
"Oh, Izuku, that's lovely. I can't wait to see your model airplane. How kind of her parents to supervise you."
Izuku needed to divert this conversation quickly, because his mom wasn't as easy to fool with half-truths as his father. "The phones weren't actually Mei's fault, some teenagers caused trouble outside. We were having so much fun that we didn't even notice the phones went out."
"So you're on given name terms with your new friend?" Inko's voice turned light and teasing. "I'm happy! It will be a pleasure to meet her. My train got delayed, but I still hope to be back by the late afternoon the day after Christmas. Your father will be hopefully home around the same time. There are frozen waffles in the fridge. I have no idea if Mei's family celebrates Christmas, but you can invite her over to our house to raid the fridge. We've got plenty of cookies in the tin, feel free to help yourselves. I'm glad you won't be alone on Christmas morning. Oh, but I'm sure I'm keeping you up far too late. See you tomorrow."
"Goodbye, Mom." Izuku hung up.
Going back into the kitchen, Izuku said, "My mom just called. She's coming home tomorrow, but I'll have some free time in the morning."
Mei grunted, a couple screws hanging out of her mouth as she worked on the counter.
Izuku asked, "Should I come here tomorrow?"
"Oh, there's no need." Mei spat out the screw in her hand. "I won't be doing any inventing until I've had time to clean up this place."
"Then you should come over to my place," Izuku said eagerly.
Mei blinked at him. "Why would I do that?"
Wilting, Izuku stammered, "My mom…baked lots of cookies…there will be extras…tomorrow is Christmas…"
"How does that matter?" Mei asked, turning to her work.
Hanging his head, Izuku muttered something then turned and left.
Holding up a device shaped like an arm, Mei said, "I've almost got this finished, and then you can use it to keep the ice on your face." But Izuku was already gone.
Izuku had thought it might be different after Mei called him by his name for the first time. She'd even promoted him from lab assistant to partner. But it turned out that she still only wanted him around if he was helping with her inventions. In other words, only if he was useful to her.
That was fine. It was still closer to friendship than Izuku had with anyone else. He tried to smile, but his mouth ached. It must be the ice, making his face stiff. He was fine. He'd just really wanted to spend Christmas morning together with Mei rather than be alone.
Izuku finally collapsed onto his bed and drifted off into a dreamless slumber.
As All for One entered the police station and took his seat for booking, he unfortunately saw Tomura and Dabi sitting in the seats next to him. Dabi was in a motorized wheelchair and Tomura was covered in bandages. There was definitely something to be said about the indestructibility of idiots, for them to have left the hospital so fast.
Upon spotting All for One, Tomura waved and said, "Sensei, I insisted they take us out of the hospital because I remembered what you said about minimizing medical costs for our operation."
All for One threw a furious glare at his errant pupil, then looked away, pretending not to know them.
Raising his brow, Toshinori asked, "Are you three familiar with each other?"
Tomura shook his head frantically. "My boss over there had absolutely nothing to do with this!"
Dabi said, "He did not tell us to rob anywhere or supervise us while doing so!"
Toshinori wrote in his notebook. "How fascinating, can you two tell me more about what this man didn't tell you to do?"
All for One resisted the urge to slam his face into the desk. If it had been anyone else, he would have thought they were doing it on-purpose. Alas, these two really were just that dumb. Maybe he should have raised his hiring standards a bit. Or taken employees who worked for more than snacks and video games.
The police officer booking Tomura said, "Toshinori, it's good to see you. We believe these two are responsible for a string of burglaries across Musutafu. A thief disguised as Santa stole numerous valuable artworks. We didn't initially think he might be working as a team, but it makes sense given the smooth, seamless brilliance of the crimes. This is a masterful operation by the most talented thieves in Japan."
"But we didn't–" Dabi started to protest.
Tomura elbowed his partner into silence. "Yes, we did! Most masterful and talented thief in Japan, you say? That was definitely me! I claim full responsibility."
"Oooo." Dabi bit his lip, considering. "That would be a great way to disgrace my father. I was the Santa thief!"
"No, I was!" Tomura cried. "Don't steal my idea. Officers, this fool was only my assistant. I'm the master thief."
"Lies! I committed all the crimes and he barely helped."
All for One had to bite his tongue to keep himself from stopping them. He stared straight ahead as if he knew nothing about these two.
As soon as the police officer booking Dabi looked away, Dabi flicked a button on his wheelchair and zipped off. "Freedom!" he cried. "I can't let my mugshot get taken until I re-dye my hair!"
The electric wheelchair shot forward, running over All for One's foot. He screamed in agony and collapsed to the floor, rolling around in pain. His foot! It felt broken!
Meanwhile, Dabi ran into the wall and was easily tackled and handcuffed by two police officers.
Toshinori knelt down next to All for One. "Oh, no, sir, how terrible. It looks like you might have broken a bone." The fake sympathy in the buffoon's voice failed to disguise the glee in his eyes, clearly wishing he'd done this himself. "How karmic–I mean, how terrible!" He raised his voice. "Someone get a stretcher."
"Ow! Stop acting all self-righteous." All for One glared. He hated the pretend care more than gloating. How dare the buffoon patronize him like this?
Solicitously, Toshinori said, "Don't worry, sir, we'll take you to the hospital at once and get you the best medical care while I chat with those two. Then we can discuss the crimes you might or might not have aided and abetted in."
No! Without adult supervision, Tomura and Dabi would definitely spill everything (probably by accident) and take credit for extra crimes too. All for One tried to protest but they ignored him as they placed him on a stretcher and took him away to the hospital. Nooooooooooo! If he was in jail, then who would do necessary Christmas work like robbing the senior citizens charity fund?
This time, All for One was sure he heard ghostly laughter drifting on the wind. It sounded exactly like his little brother. Which was odd because his brother wasn't dead.
Mei got up bright and early and bounded down the stairs only to remember she was taking a day off. Besides, half her tools were still not ready after all the work fixing the house last night. With nothing to do, Mei sat down on the couch and pouted. Stupid day off, stupid maintenance of the body. Why did Izuku have to tell her about that?
After an eternity (five minutes) of being bored out of her skull, Mei finally turned on the TV. She changed the channel until she found the cartoons, letting a stream of mindless Christmas stuff come. Alas, the boredom did not fade. No babies she and Izuku could build, test, or anything.
Izuku.
Mei remembered his face when she pointed out there was no reason to come. He'd looked like their invention had miserably failed and they'd lost their grant money. Mei couldn't understand it.
After he left, she'd peered out the window, watching his form retreating into the snow. She felt almost like she'd done something wrong, but she couldn't fathom what. He was her lab partner, and there was no lab work. So why would he come over? And why would she go over to his house where he didn't even have a lab? It made no sense.
As she idly kicked her foot in the air, she glanced back at the TV. Another cartoon talking on and on about friendship, going out and playing snowballs or doing stuff inside with them. Boring. Mei grabbed some paper and instead doodled some baby ideas. If one was good, she'd have Izuku turn it into a full blueprint later. Even if she forgot, he'd still do that. He had initiative!
She wished she were building babies with him. But today was a day off with nothing to do. Oh and it was also Christmas. Who made Christmas a day off! Days off were unbearable!
The show changed again, now it was a bunch of talking penguins at the zoo. Maybe when she was old enough, Mei could cybernetically enhance animals to walk and talk like that? On the TV, one of the penguins noticed a bear alone. "Nobody should be alone on Christmas!" he said.
Mei sat up a bit. As the show played out, the nice penguin wanted to spend time with the polar bear, talking about spending time with others on Christmas.
Mei glanced at the door. Then at the TV. Then at the door again. As the TV kept talking she said, "Alright already!" and got up. She turned off the TV, turned out the lights, then put on her coat and set off into the snow.
Izuku woke with a yawn. He'd slept in. If Mei were coming, she'd have woken him up by now. Right, Mei. Izuku suddenly felt like staying in bed. Alas, he was already awake so he might as well get up.
Izuku trudged downstairs, taking in his empty home. Dad and Mom wouldn't be there until tomorrow. He knew they'd celebrate together then. It would be fun. But it wasn't the same. There was only one Christmas after all.
Izuku almost turned on the TV, but thought better of it. He wasn't in the mood for feel-good cartoons. Instead he supposed he should journal in his notebook all day or watch some of Dad's old cop shows. He could read Captain…No he didn't feel like that today.
(Sacrilege!)
Izuku walked into the kitchen, planning to make some food when the doorbell rang. Izuku glanced out the hall toward the door. Was that a package? The doorbell rang again. Maybe it was one of those packages you needed to sign. As he slowly walked toward the door, the ringing grew faster, like the person at the door was just pounding the button non-stop. What an impatient delivery man.
Izuku unfastened the bolt, opened the door, only to freeze at who was on the other side. Mei, waring an expression that almost seemed shy. "Mei?!" he said. Izuku looked her up and down. While she was wearing a winter coat and hat, she had no snow pants or snow boots on. Instead, Mei was wearing pajamas and slippers. While she tried to hide it, Izuku saw the occasional shiver, and how her cheeks flushed from the cold. It was freezing out, what was she thinking?!
"Hey," Mei said.
"Hi?" Izuku said. What was she doing there?
"Can I–" Mei looked up as if trying to remember something. "Can I come in?" she said like someone reciting a line in the school play.
"Yeah. Sure!" Izuku said. He quickly ushered her out of the cold, closed the door, locked it, and went to make her hot chocolate. "Why did you come here?" he asked. "And why didn't you just break in?" It took a moment to realize how crazy it was that that was a legitimate question.
"I forgot my lockpicking baby at home," she said. "I got bored at home and the TV says that people should spend time with other people on Christmas. So I guess I wanted to see if you wanted to do that?"
Izuku paused. "What?" he asked. It sounded suspiciously like she saw him as her friend.
"I said–" she then repeated what she'd said literally word for word.
"You want…to hang out…with me?"
Mei kicked the sofa as she looked around the house. "Yeah. I think so."
"Wouldn't that…does that make us friends?" Izuku squeaked out.
Mei looked up in thought. "Friends. Frrrriends…" Her usual smile returned. "I like that. Let's do that!"
Izuku then cried hard enough to create a small waterfall. After he stopped (and the water went down the drain), he said, "So…that means…"
Mei had already yanked him into a hug. "Merry Christmas, Izuku!"
Izuku slowly returned it. "Merry Christmas, Mei."
As he went to make breakfast for them both (while keeping Mei from setting anything on fire), fun activities to do with Mei danced in his head. Throughout it all, one thought echoed through his mind above the rest.
This is the best Christmas ever.
Epilogue
I shed a tear to see that my dear alternate nephew had finally made a true friend. Now that was some real spirit of Christmas!
At long last, I'd finally found the perfect Christmas universe to redeem (or annoy) my brother. It had everything: moral lessons, good overcoming evil, a happy ending, Dadmight, and my brother getting arrested. Oh, I couldn't wait to show him. The only thing that could make this universe more perfect would be if it ended with Mei and Izuku reading Captain Hero together.
With that thought, I drifted closer to the bookshelf to see the rows of Captain Hero volumes. No doubt reading Captain Hero had taught Izuku about courage, the meaning of friendship, and defeating bad guys, so in a sense Captain Hero was responsible for the good ending this fine Christmas morning, especially the last volume—
Wait a minute.
The last volume of Captain Hero was missing from the shelf.
Surely Izuku wouldn't have failed to read the ending! He was a darling boy and the perfect hero. Could it be that the last volume hadn't come out yet? I drifted closer, using ghostly vision to read the ending note.
The author of Captain Hero had dropped it after finishing the second to last volume? The series would never be completed?! The author left an ending note saying he wanted to work on more adult projects and that Captain Hero was too simplistic a character? AND THE AUTHOR WAS ME?!
What a travesty! This universe was a complete and utter waste. If I brought my brother here, then I shuddered to imagine how he'd gloat. Nope, it simply couldn't be possible to turn my brother into a better person using a universe where the last volume of Captain Hero didn't exist. That was the most critical element! So close, yet so far.
Oh, well. Off to the next universe! Surely somewhere out there, the perfect Christmas miracle awaited to redeem All for One.
OMAKE TIME!
Izuku: I gained a massive confidence boost from successfully fending off robbers.
Mei: I learned the value of friendship (and how fun it is to torment robbers!)
#
Ghost Yoichi (in a narrator voice): Mei and Izuku's friendship still had some minor kinks to work out, such as Mei breaking into the house whenever she felt like it.
Toshinori: Oh, Mei? How did you get in here?
Mei: (Intakes breath.)
Izuku: SHE HAS A KEY!
#
All for One: I've finally found the perfect universe to turn my little brother evil. A universe where Captain Hero never got finished.
Yoichi: Make him stop talking! I can't bear to hear this!
All for One: Even worse, my brother got to fulfill his lifelong dream of being the author of Captain Hero only to get bored with it before the last volume. Haha, I couldn't finish it as a reader but you couldn't as a writer! That's even worse.
Yoichi: Truly, the most horrific universe. I feel a sudden desire to destroy everything.
All for One: I have to admit I don't understand why Second later finishing the series (to spite me after I complimented the actual ending from prison) isn't good enough.
Yoichi: It's not the same at all!
#
Izuku: In this fic, I got promoted from guinea pig to lab partner.
Mei: Dabi's a better guinea pig.
#
Ghost Yoichi: Big brother, I'm here to visit you in a universe where you're just an ordinary scammer in order to redeem you. See all the horrific crimes your other selves committed? This is where the path of crime leads.
All for One: I…I murdered thousands? Defrauded orphans? Performed human experimentation! That's horrible!
Ghost Yoichi: Yes, it is. You're seeing the light.
All for One: My other selves are all so lucky! Why did I never get the chance to commit truly interesting crimes?
Author's Note:
We (Katydid and Gfan97) are delighted to end this fic with amazing cover art. Katydid asked to write the author's note to rant about it. I love it! Mei has a wonderful gremlin grin and clearly Izuku can tell her invention is about to explode again. Dabi and Tomura have great idiot robber energy and All for One with his popcorn is the perfect touch. Each version is so great I had trouble deciding which one to post with this chapter. Some more versions are available at:
tumblr.
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gojifan97/737606679127080960/different-versions-of-the-cover-i-drew-for-me-and
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!