…Up And Addams!...

/Warning/: This chapter contains: Cursing, darkness, a little bit of violence, creepiness, fluff, obsessive Tony, and Steve finally living his lumberjack life in peace! All reviews are appreciated.

"Character talking"

"Character thinking"

…Flashbacks…

Chapter 3

Steve Rogers was living the life!

A few months had passed since Steve bought the lake house to be his new home (A house that as soon as Sam Wilson saw him buy, he almost fainted and pulled him aside to warn him about if it wasn't for his boss who threatened him) a home that as the days passed, Steve was sure that he did the right thing by buying, especially when no one dared to bother him or come into his home; be it from the town's people who were too afraid to come near his property, or the outside people who never appeared in this sleepy town, only once every blue moon, and they were only lost travelers; never staying long enough to sightsee around the place, or come so far to reach his home, which was all Steve wanted to enjoy a peaceful life.

Waking up in the morning and taking a bath, enjoying a cup of coffee or tea (Not that they can do anything to, but the taste was nice) and a light breakfast, going for a run around the woods, chopping firewood after he was done; repairing his house, the boat shed, the woodshed, and anything that needed to be repaired and fixed. After that, Steve would enjoy several activities in his free time, such as painting in the garden near the lake, using the boat (He finally managed to fix) to go fishing, or if he wanted, he would go hiking around the woods and collecting wild berries and mushrooms, or anything that caught his fancy, and in the evening when it was time to sleep, all Steve had to do to enjoy his day was take a shower and go to bed with a book, to spend a little time reading before he fell asleep. A peaceful existence without complication or unnecessary fights that S.H.I.E.L.D. or any other organization wanted to thrust him into… ah… if only Bucky was here…

This was why Steve decided to ignore everything that was happening in his house and the surrounding woods at night; especially, if it meant keeping his peaceful and relaxing life that didn't have any government or S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agent tailing him day and night and making him cranky.

So, what if Steve was hearing whispers and screams at night and there was always the sound of windows and doors opening and closing? No big deal! It was probably the wind, as the house was still not repaired completely and the trees whistling from the sound of winds through their leaves was the reason for the noises. So, what if his house has cold and hot spots all around and the shower water can turn from icy cold to boiling sometimes? What! Free heating and air conditioner all in one! He doesn't even need to pay for hot water or anything, it was just delivered to his house for free! So, what if he lost his things and found them in a completely strange and different place than he put them? It was a good game of hide and seek! It always kept Steve on his toes as he anticipated which object he was going to lose and the possible places that object could be found in, good for strengthening the mind and strategy! And so, what if Steve was seeing things and shadows from the corner of his eye, and how there was always blood dropping around somewhere and ruining things? It just meant that his imagination was going wild and he needed to go sightseeing around the town, as for the stains on the floor, it meant that it was the time to clean his home… nothing more, nothing less, Steve had everything under control.

With that, Steve started his day by enjoying a hot shower, being mildly surprised that the water didn't turn cold in the middle, not that it would have affected Steve much, having long since trained his body to endure such hardships when it was World War two; back then with the Commandos, it was rare that anyone would find clean water enough to drink, let alone bath, and if they were lucky to find enough water, then it was icy cold and they needed to heat the water which would take forever, so learning to use what you have was a skill all the Commandos learned how to apply.

Getting out of the shower, Steve could only hum happily, wiping the condensation from the mirror hanging above the sink; in doing so, Steve was the sole witness to dark shadows waving up behind him while closing at him, causing Steve to blink his eyes before picking up his toothbrush and toothpaste, ignoring how wild his imagination must be if he was seeing shadows just after he got out of the bathroom… guess he was going to the market today or the diner; this was obviously his mind screaming for human's interaction.

After he was done, Steve hummed happily as he skipped to the kitchen, ignoring the whistling and shrieking that was no doubt from the heater in the basement as he went to prepare his breakfast, wondering if he should just drink coffee and eat a protein bar before his run, so that after he was finished, he could head to the diner for a more filling breakfast. Liking that idea, Steve smiled happily as he prepared his coffee, letting out an appreciative hum as he held the cup in both of his hands, planning on sitting on the decks and enjoying the waves lapping on the shores on this beautiful autumn morning.

Content, and with a cup of coffee in hand, Steve walked toward his porch, planning on starting this beautiful and calm day like every other day; with coffee and a clear mind before enjoying his hermit and lumberjack life to its fullest. Opening the door, Steve could only breathe in, enjoying the crisp cool air that entered his lungs informing him of another beautiful day.

The lake was as calm as always, the sky was clear with birds flying high in the air; the trees were shedding their leaves that were colored with beautiful colors of fall, reds, yellows, browns, and greens. A nice morning to start a bonfire to cook fish or even make smores; a beautiful and calming view dominated by the beautiful lake that was cut off by the giant spider in front of him… A Giant Spider in Front Of HIM!

Steve Rogers could only watch the trainwreck of a spider rushing toward him with both fascination and horror that dominated his face, unable to remove his eyes away from the huge eight feet long spider (Maybe more, maybe less) that looked quite familiar with its screech of doom as it rushed toward Steve until it stood in front of him; its mouthpieces (What were they called again?) and front legs wiggling happily as it looked at Steve with its eight eyes that were full of anticipation.

Steve blinked his eyes once, then twice, then three times before raising his cup of coffee and taking a long sip of the hot beverage, not daring to take his eyes away from the creature that was chittering and clicking its jaws (Fangs?) in excitement. Regaining a little of his barriers, Steve let out a tired sigh before opening his house doors, getting inside, and slamming the door shut, ignoring the pathetic whimpers and the scratching he was hearing outside of his house; like that huge ass, spider was just a poor puppy being kicked outside by their owner…

Today was going to be a long day…

Steve ignored the scratching and whimpering outside his house, and even the hissing and flying dishes inside his kitchen that tried to surprise him with a headshot but failed. Instead, Steve hummed to himself as he spent his day sitting on the couch in the living room, reading a book and ignoring the world around him and how everything was no doubt going to be set on fire. So, naturally, Steve continued ignoring the world; planning on living in ignorance until he couldn't anymore by the appearance of the event that would destroy the world once and for all.

It was when Steve planned on going to make lunch that his door was knocked upon, causing Steve to close his eyes and take a deep breath, trying to summon the willpower to continue with his day without doing something stupid that he would regret in the end.

Going to the door, Steve tried to summon all of his patience when he opened the door, immediately being greeted by the sight of Mr. Stark-Addams, who as soon as he saw him, a wide grin dominated his face as he all but skipped right into Steve's arms with a happy noise.

"Darling! You wouldn't believe how long I have been searching for you, I never thought I would find you if it wasn't for Harley and some of my friends; you won't believe how many favors I had to cash just to find you!" Mr. Stark-Addams chatted happily, ignoring Steve who was looking at the man like he had lost a huge part of his mind; not that Mr. Stark-Addams cared mind you, as he continued to snuggle into Steve's arms while trying to tilt his body and look inside Steve's home. "You know, you are really good at hiding your traces, very impressive, especially if you are planning on hiding a body!" Mr. Stark-Addams continued happily, leaning on Steve with a pout after failing to see what was inside his home. "Aren't you going to invite me, darling?" The man asked with narrowed eyes, causing Steve to blink at how forward the man was in all of this madness.

"Mr. Stark-Addams…" Steve started slowly, not knowing what to say or do when meeting such… unusual character… when their few meetings with each other were nothing short of a horror movie and a trainwreck waiting to happen. "What are you doing here?" Steve decided to just ask, wondering what the hell was going on, but too polite to start cursing off the bat without at least listening to what Mr. Stark-Addams had in mind before getting wound up.

Mr. Stark-Addams perked up before a too-wide smile (That was way off and unnatural in Steve's opinion) took over his face, as he leaned back with a mysterious glint flashing in his eyes. "I came to win you over of course!" The man said with a charming and dangerous smile on his lips, causing Steve to blink and wonder if he had crossed into another dimension where up was down, and everything meant the opposite.

"Win me over…?" Steve said these words slowly, trying to make sense of what those words meant, hoping that if he repeated them a little bit slower every time, he would understand what the hell the crazy man in front of him meant. Mr. Stark-Addams just beamed happily, purring like a satisfied cat as he leaned on Steve even more, his hand caressing Steve's chest in a move that almost made Steve lose it and throw the man into the lake and be done with it; how can the man be this forward to someone he doesn't even know?!

"Oh, course, darling; after all, I did ask you to be my consort~" The man purred, his words causing Steve to blink long and hard as the events that happened months ago (Maybe a year ago?) played in his mind over and over again; pursing his lips, Steve took a step back causing Mr. Stark-Addams to nearly trip on his face if he didn't regain his balance quickly.

"My answer is still the same; no." Steve drawled his word out, hoping the man would understand that no, meant no and that he wasn't interested in any additional packages that wanted to shackle up with him just because he was Captain America… he had enough of that with Agent Coulson, and Agent Romanov who sadly didn't understand the meaning of no.

"Wha…? But darling!" Before Mr. Stark-Addams even continued, Steve took a step back before closing the door and locking it, ignoring the indigent squeak he could hear and the pounding on the poor door that soon followed, causing Steve to roll his eyes and continue on his way to the kitchen to make lunch; uncaring about the man who was pleading with him to open the door, or the scratching and whimpering that followed soon.

This is just a dream… Steve's mind repeated over and over again, trying to reassure him that the insanity that took place just now was nothing but his subconscious mind inventing a weird ass nightmare to remind him of the people he left in New York under Mr. Stark-Addams's mercy… yeah… probably that was it, nothing more, nothing less… with that, Steve turned his direction from the kitchen to the bedroom, planning on taking a nap and dealing with everything later, after he probably woke up to deal with this madness…

Yeah… a nap first, dealing with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s infestation later…

Waking up from his nap, Steve let out a happy sigh as he stretched in his bed, thinking that what took place a few hours ago was nothing but a nightmare that he finally woke up from. Turning to his side, Steve nuzzled the pillow happily, wondering about what he was going to do this evening, thinking about going hiking and sitting under the stars to erase the stress of the morning.

"You know, this bed is too soft; adding a few spikes and needles would give this lump of fluff a little bit of an edge." Someone said, and Steve didn't even need to turn around to know that the speaker was none other than Mr. Stark-Addams who no doubt sneaked into his house when he was asleep.

"You know, what you just did is called break-and-entry and I can send you to jail because of this… pulse, looking at people while they are sleeping is creepy." Steve snarked back, his words getting a stifled laugh from the man behind him, causing Steve to let out an annoyed grunt before cursing under his breath, sitting on the bed before dry-washing his face, ignoring the man beside him who was trying and failing to do a sexy-pose.

"Did you know you have a ghost infestation problem?" Mr. Stark-Addams suddenly said before plopping on his stomach and moving his feet in the air, causing Steve to let out a dump 'Huh?' at the sudden change of subject. "Truly awful and fascinating; a Ravenous Spirit took control of this place and was trying to drive you away for months without success. I had a lovely chat with the Spirit about boundaries and such, so you don't need to worry about the Spirit coming to kill you in your sleep like it did others." The man chatted happily with twinkles in his eyes and a manic grin on his face, causing Steve to massage his forehead as he suddenly felt his migraine flaring.

"Fuck this…" Steve let out a tired sigh as he turned to the man who made himself home and was looking at Steve with a smile that was all teeth and fangs Steve was half convinced the man was one of those vampire characters that Bucky adored reading in the thirties and forties. "How did you find me? Better yet, does S.H.I.E.L.D. know about my whereabouts?" Steve asked as he stood up from the bed, going to the walk-in closet with the intention of packing his clothes and escaping his house and later the town before S.H.I.E.L.D. found him and dragged him back; not even bringing in how the man lying on his bed managed to break into his home because he knew the answer to that question would be something that would force him to endure many sleepless nights.

"I told you, I had to pull so many favors from my contacts to find you! Do you know how many sacrifices I had to give to the Wendigos and Spirits living in the forests? I finally managed to convince someone to tell me your address after I couldn't find you by any normal or abnormal means. I don't know how, but you managed to put the fear of God in the wendigo who oversees this forest, and that is really something to admire in a future spouse." Mr. Stark-Addams purred happily, even when there was the tune of underlying whine in his voice; his words caused Steve to stop in his place and wonder if he should call the hospital and tell them to prepare transportation to the asylum in Mr. Stark-Addams's name. "As for S.H.I.E.L.D., I made sure those roaches would need decades before they could even think of crossing me again… bastards, thinking that they can cross an Addams just because…" Mr. Stark-Addams's face darkened as he mumbled the last words, causing Steve to let out a hum of understanding before opening his closet…

…Only to slam his closet door shut when he saw the corpse hanging by its hair in his closet…

Yeah… Steve was still sleepy and in need of coffee to function once more if he started to hallucinate a writhing corpse in his closet that was thrashing and moaning and trying to free itself from the noose made out of its hair. Yeah… coffee, that heavenly concoction that could solve anything and everything if given the right place and right time. "I see, what about Fury and his spies?" Steve asked, walking away from the closet and ignoring the sparkling eyes that twinkled happily… he needed coffee desperately…

"On medical leave until further notice." Mr. Stark-Addams purred happily, his words causing Steve to nod his head absent-mindedly as he got out of his room, ignoring the additional person tailing him and the click-clack of heels coming from his companion… he needed to scold Mr. Stark-Addams for daring to get on his bed with his shoes on, but first, Steve needed a coffee before he even voiced what he wanted to say.

"Coffee?" Steve asked, acting like a good host even for the unwanted guest, because want it or not, his mother taught him better than kicking people out of his home without at least hosting them for tea or water. Steve was going to kick Mr. Stark-Addams for sure, he just needed to give him coffee or tea before kicking him and the mug he no doubt cursed by the mere touch out of his home.

"Yes, darling~" Mr. Stark-Addams purred happily, his unnatural grin widened even more than possible, almost splitting his face in half, the surprise and mad glint showed in his eyes, which informed Steve that the man didn't think Steve had it in him, to offer the man any coffee or tea; well, ha! Take this! Steve Rogers hadn't spent decades having his Ma hammering some manners in his head for nothing! "I have to say, darling, you are taking this better than I thought you would." Mr. Stark-Addams (And God was that a mouthful to even think) stated as he took his mug of coffee before he all but latched into Steve's side, ignoring the twitch Steve gave; because guess what, every step Steve took away, the man standing beside him would take two and all but glue himself into Steve's side.

"Mr. Stark-Addams…" Steve started only to be interrupted by the said man who leaned toward Steve and whispered 'Call me, Tony' in what he no doubt thought a sexy voice (Which it was, but Steve was not going to even indulge this line of thinking at all) "Do you not understand why I escape all the way here?" Steve continued, ignoring how the man pouted before a smile crossed over his face.

"So, you can start your incognito serial killer life in peace away from S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Mr. Stark-Addams chirped happily with a boyish grin, his eyes looking up hopefully, ignoring how his words caused Steve's jaws to drop at how thick-headed the man beside him was… so much for the man being a genius and Howard's son.

"No…" Steve finally said, after he regained his barriers, gazing at the man beside him who was now pouting fiercely while trying to give Steve the puppy dog eyes but was failing as Steve could see the shadows and darkness swimming clearly in the man's chocolate brown eyes. "It's because I want to be alone, and by alone, I mean away from people in this century, be it the government or anyone else." Steve tried to clarify, which made the man hum and lean on Steve, once more disregarding the meaning of personal space and its use.

"Well, we can go on a killing campaign and erase everyone's existence, if we do that, we can achieve your dream of being truly alone; just think about that… you, me, and my thousand spider babies that would enjoy such a feast…" Mr. Stark-Addams said happily, leaning on Steve as a purr left him like a very satisfied cat.

As for Steve who was horrified by every word the man just said, he couldn't help but put his mug down, take Mr. Stark-Addams's mug and put it down, before picking the man up like he weights nothing, walking to the door and opened it before putting the man on the porch like he was a misbehaving puppy that was put in the dog house. "No," Steve said with finality, ignoring the surprised look on Mr. Stark-Addams's face, and definitely ignoring the huge ass spider that made its home in one of the trees near his cabin and was webbing the screaming, and writhing Christine Everhart (Who after Steve bought his house always came to spy on him from time to time and make Steve paranoid with the way she drooled and flirted with him) in preparation of making her its next meal. "And please, get that woman down, I don't want to be known as a killer in the town in addition to being a madman who lives in a haunted house." Steve finished his words by slamming his door shut, ignoring how it took only a few seconds of silence before happy squeals were heard from the other side of the door, causing Steve to close his eyes and let out a pained groan…

This century was so strange…

So, what do you think?

An update! Yay!

Am I ashamed of the long absence and lack of updates? …kinda? But also no…

Anyways!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!

Read and review

And tell me what you think…

Nazaki-Sama