Eleven year old Octavia Goetia took a deep breath and swallowed down the anxiety that had been building up in her throat from the very moment her father had dropped her off at rehearsals. After that she went into the ladies room to splash a little water on her face, followed by some whispers to boost her confidence.
"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this."
The reason why she was so nervous was because this was the very first day of ballet rehearsal for the upcoming Christmas production and she had gotten the lead role, an orphaned match girl who spends Christmas alone and in the cold. She then stumbles upon the back door of a manor house which had been left open and sneaks inside only to warm herself for a moment. But the girl ends up falling asleep by the kitchen hearth and dreams of a kind fairy who uses magic to bring all the toys to life and celebrate the holiday with her. Then in the morning, when she wakes from her dream, the girl is discovered by a wealthy couple who owns the house. But they are kind and decide to adopt the girl, raising her alongside their biological daughter who happens to resemble the fairy from her dreams.
Octavia had auditioned for a minor role, thinking that she wasn't good enough for anything major but the instructor had seen something very special in Octavia. Something that she thought made her the perfect girl to dance the lead role. Of course Octavia was thrilled with the offer, she had always dreamed of dancing a lead in the ballet, and at a professional theater no less. But Octavia had a bit of clumsy streak and she was very shy and insecure, not really sure of her capabilities.
In other words, as much as the idea of dancing the lead excited her, it also terrified her because what if she didn't get the steps right? What if she messed up? What if she tripped over herself on stage and everyone laughed at her?
Her father Stolas had always encouraged her ballet dreams, telling her that she could do anything if she set her mind to it. Her mother Stella on the other hand, said that while Octavia had talent, she shouldn't get her hopes up and try for a more practical dream. In a way both parents had a point. You should try to make your dreams a reality and put your whole heart into the effort, but at the same time you needed to understand that life has no guarantees and be prepared for the harsh reality. Unfortunately, Stolas and Stella were bitterly divorced and couldn't work together on giving Octavia that advice, so she had it in her head that someday she'd have to choose. The dream or practicality?
The only person who seemed to really get her was Loona Sanders. She was the fourteen year old adopted daughter of her father's on again, off again lover and like Octavia she dreamed of becoming a dancer. They had met on Octavia's first day of ballet class and when Octavia messed up during the pirouette lesson, all the other students laughed at her. All of them except Loona.
She just knelt down, held her hand out to Octavia, and said,
"Shake it off kid, it's nothing to dwell on. I've fallen on my ass plenty of times."
The two had been like sisters ever since, which was fitting because Loona would be dancing the role of the fairy and the adopted sister in the show. Octavia was sure that Loona would be perfect. Perfect like all the other students. Perfect like their instructor, Mrs. Gracey. She was a prima ballerina and to Octavia, the most beautiful and graceful dancer in the world. Every step she took and every move she made was flawless. She had performed in countless shows, becoming famed and adored. But now she had decided to retire from fame, start a family, share her experience with the next generation by working as a ballet teacher.
"Alright everyone welcome to rehearsals." Mrs. Gracey said. "Before we get started we're going to do some stretches and warm ups. It's early in the morning so I know not all of you are ready to get into a brand new routine."
For twenty minutes they stretched their arms and legs, and did some simple, warm up moves. After that Mrs. Gracey proceeded to explain the first routine to the dancers. To Octavia it seemed very complicated, and that made her more nervous. It was only the first routine and from her point of view, it looked like rocket science.
"Are you going to be able to keep up bird legs?" Octavia heard the harsh whisper of Rowena.
Rowena was one of the best students in class, and she was the daughter of Verosicka Mayday a famous contemporary dancer so naturally, Rowena thought it was her destiny to get the lead role in every ballet production. But when she auditioned, she lost to Octavia. Now she would do everything she could to spite the girl. She would tell Octavia that her legs were too skinny and weak for ballet, that they would just snap on stage, calling her bird legs whenever she could get away with it. Loona always offered to clock Rowena in the mouth but Octavia begged her not to. She already had enough problems.
"Now Octavia I want you to start with a few leaps." Mrs. Gracey explained. "It's December 24th, it's snowing outside, you're barefoot, and the ground is so cold that it hurts. You're struggling to walk. François, music please."
Her assistant François put on a record, the music played, and Octavia proceeded to do as Mrs. Gracey instructed. She did well when the song started out slow but once the melody picked up, she fell over self.
"Can you believe her?" Rowena whispered to her friends, causing them to giggle.
"It's alright." Mrs. Gracey assured Octavia. "Mistakes are a good thing. They help you learn. Let's try again."
Octavia tried again and again and again. Every step she had to learn, she messed up and had to try again. With each mistake she made, she became more and more nervous. Making the situation worse was Rowena mumbling insults to her friends and when the other dancers rehearsed with Octavia, the nasty girl resorted to subtle sabotage and she was clever enough to wait until Mrs. Gracey had left for a quick bathroom break.
"Come on Octavia, keep up." Rowena said as they were pirouetting.
"I am keeping up." Octavia replied, anxiously.
"Could've fooled me." Rowena snickered.
Rowena then purposely shoved Octavia down when she spun. All the other students laughed at her, all of them except Loona.
"Why don't you leave her the hell alone?!" Loona snapped at Rowena.
"I didn't do anything." Rowena lied.
"Yes you did! And you know it!" Loona said. "Look, you didn't get the lead role, Octavia did. Get over it and practice more."
"I need more practice? Look at bird legs over there! She's the one who needs to practice!" Rowena said pointing to Octavia who was fighting tears. "The only reason she got into this class is because her rich daddy bribed the teacher, and everyone knows that she bought the lead role in the show too. It's the only explanation for why a clumsy failure like her would even make it this far. She screwed up her audition and she's going to screw up the show!"
PUNCH! Loona couldn't take anymore of Rowena's shit. She swung a fist right into her mouth, causing her to drop to the floor.
"Bitch!"
Rowena got back up and tackled Loona, resulting in a fight.
"What is going on here?!" Mrs. Gracey cried rushing into the room. "Break it up! Break it up!"
Mrs. Gracey grabbed hold of Loona, François grabbed Rowena, and they separated the girls.
"That is enough! Stop it!" Mrs. Gracey demanded. "François what happened?"
"I don't know." He said. "I was just putting on a new song and then a fight broke it out."
"Alright I think a break is in order, François take the children into the cafe for a snack break. Loona and Rowena, you stay behind. I'd a like a word with you both in private."
Mrs. Gracey gave both girls a chance to tell their side of the story. Of course Rowena told an elaborate lie about how Loona attacked her because she was jealous of her dancing, but Mrs. Gracey was no fool. She had known for quite sometime that Rowena was bullying Octavia and until now, she had been unable to intervene because Octavia had never complained to her. This little incident however, provided the perfect opportunity.
"Rowena I know that you are a very talented girl and I know you're disappointed about not getting the lead role. But in ballet, even a minor role is a great honor. However if you think yourself too good for that, you can always drop out."
"But Mrs. Gracey-"
"I'm not finished. Also I will not tolerate any form bullying in my class, if you continue to harass Octavia I will have to drop you. And I don't think your mother will be very pleased to learn that her daughter lost an important part because of a rivalry that got out of hand."
"My mother says there's nothing wrong with a little competition."
"There's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition, and I happen to have been in many classes with your mother and while she could be rough, she never played dirty. I don't want to drop you Rowena, but I will not allow you to belittle Octavia any longer. If I hear of it again, you will not be in the show. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Good. You may go."
After Rowena was dismissed, Mrs. Gracey turned her attention to Loona.
"Loona, I admire your loyalty and kindness to Octavia. She needs a friend like you in her life. That being said, I will not tolerate violence in my class either. The way you handled the situation was inappropriate."
"I know it was wrong, but she was asking for it." Loona said. "She had been asking for it for months. All she does is put Octavia down and make her feel worthless. She's got the poor kid thinking about dropping out."
"Really? Are you sure?"
"Via has mentioned once or twice that maybe accepting the lead role was a mistake. That maybe she's not good enough. But that's not true! She's great! If Rowena and her mother would just shut up-"
"Hold on, what does Octavia's mother have to do with this?"
"Oh..." Loona made a face that signified, she had said too much. "Well don't tell Via I said this, but her mother has been telling her that she shouldn't make a ballet a career choice. That this is just a hobby and that she probably won't make it anywhere else. Can you believe that?"
"Actually I can. But no more talk on that, I'll let you off with a warning this time Loona. From now on, if you find out about anyone bothering Octavia in this class, just come tell me and I'll handle it."
The subject was closed after that and the rest of the day continued as normal. But day after, at break time, Mrs. Gracey called Octavia for a private chat.
"Am I in trouble Mrs. Gracey?" Octavia asked.
"No dear, I just wanted to know if everything is alright? I heard that you've been considering, dropping out. Is that true?"
"Well kind of. I mean I don't want to drop out I just-"
"You just think that you might not be good enough?" Her teacher guessed. "You're afraid that you might do something stupid like forget the routine or fall or mess up no matter how hard you try? That your parents were probably right about your dreams being impossible?"
"Actually it's just my mother who thinks it's impossible."
"Let me guess, she says that it's a childish fantasy. That this is the real world and in the real world there is a lot of rejection and disappointment. That you have to grow up and be practical."
"Yes. How did you know that?"
"Because a long time ago, I had a student who had a similar problem. Like you, dancing the ballet was her dream but she was very insecure about her strengths and her parents were always telling her to stop being so childish. To put aside her fantasy and make-believe, to grow up and have a more practical goal."
"Were they wrong?"
"Not entirely."
"What does that mean?"
"You may think what your mother says and what her parents said was mean and fair points, such words are harsh, but they say it because they love their children and they want them to have the courage to face things like disappointment and failure, and cruelty. Children usually run away and hide from their problems, and that's why people like your mother don't like to encourage dreams because they think it gives the child a belief that life will grant you what you always want."
"So does that mean my father is wrong? He says I can do anything."
"No. Your father isn't wrong. Just because you may not achieve your dreams doesn't mean you shouldn't at least make the attempt. That dreams can never come true, because they can. You have to find a balance of following your dreams but having the maturity to accept what cannot be and seek out a new dream."
"I don't understand."
"Let me tell you a story about this student of mine. Her name was Charlotte Morningstar, and she was a very big dreamer. She loved fairy stories and dolls, her godmother would tell her the most exciting tales and her godfather would make her the most wonderful toys to play with. Whenever they would visit, it was like a fairy tale come to life. But Charlotte's father, did not find their antics very amusing. You see he had been born into poverty and had to fight tooth and nail to become a very rich doctor. He wanted to ensure that his daughter would have the same duality. So when Charlotte turned thirteen, he thought the time had come for her to put away her dreams. This made Charlotte very afraid to grow up and she could see no good coming in the future, but on the night of her thirteenth Christmas, something happened that changed her life forever."