Snake was enjoying his vacation for at least a little while until he realized that vacations are completely boring.
"I can't believe I am starting to wish that something bad was happening so I could get out of here already", Snake wished to himself.
Suddenly his phone started to ring and he answered it quickly.
"Hello", Snake said into his phone with excitement.
"Hey Snake how are you", Roy replied over the phone.
"Oh thank God you called Colonel I am so bored sitting around here. Is there anything I can do to help", Snake begged.
"Snake, you should enjoy your vacation. You have been working so hard", Roy argued.
"Oh Come on Roy I can't take it anymore just give me something to do", Snake asked.
"Alright, the FBI has been investigating a few kidnappings all over the states but that isn't something you normally do Snake. But this is all I have right now", Roy explained.
"At this point I will take anything", Snake insisted.
"I will let the FBI know you're stopping by good luck Snake", Roy said as he hung up.
THE next day Snake went to the FBI's field office and they were a little surprised to see him there but they figured a local legend might give them the extra edge they might need. The FBI believed that a man named Mr. Meat was behind the kidnappings but they needed someone to sneak in and collect some evidence to support their theories. That's where Snake came in. The plan was for Snake to get into Meat's farm without alerting him to his presence. But when Snake arrived there everything had changed. Snake looked around the farm from the opposite side of the fence and started to get an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Are you inside yet Snake", Agent Jones asked over the codec.
"Not yet Jones but something definitely feels off to me call it a hunch", Snake said as he leaped over the fence.
"My sentiments exactly. Snake, I recommend you turn on your snake cam so we can see and record everything from your end. I also advise you to use your stealth camo if Mr. Meat if alerted to your presence he might get violent with you and you won't be able to attack him or our investigation will be a total bust. If you see him don't engage him in anyway or try to kill him either. If you're caught however there will be no backup coming to your rescue which means you're on your own in there", Jones elaborated.
"Roger, I am on my way standby", Snake said as he pulled out his trusty old M9 dart gun.
"This place is a dump", Snake said to himself as he looked around.
Snake walked around the house looking for a way in when he suddenly spotted a window sitting just above the ground. Snake went over to investigate and smirked at himself.
"Looks like I found my way in", Snake said as he took the butt of his pistol and slammed it against the glass.
THE glass shattered instantly as broken shards went all over the place. Snake dropped down into what it seemed to be the basement.
"I am inside", Snake announced over the codec.
"What do you see", Jones asked.
"It looks like any ordinary old basement", Snake said as his stealth camo's battery went out.
"Oh crap", Snake muttered.
"What happened", Jones inquired.
"The stealth camo's busted", Snake explained as he got hit in the head with something really hard.
Snake fell to the floor as he slowly started to lose consciousness he heard a voice say something.
"I got you", the voice said as Snake faded out.
Snake woke up suddenly chained to a chair. Snake tried to breakout as he heard a noise in front of him.
"I got you little mouse or should I say little snake", a bald man said as he gripped a piece of bone with meat still on it.
"Who are you", Snake asked.
"I am Mr. Meat and it is a pleasure to meet you Snake", Meat said as he handed Snake a piece of meat.
"What are you doing", Snake wondered.
"I thought you might be hungry", Meat smiled.
Snake smelled the meat.
"It smells pretty good", Snake said as he took a bite.
"Mmmmmm pretty tasty. What is this some kind of snake", Snake asked.
"Oh no it is my latest creation of my delicious pork", Meat smirked as he unlocked Snake and placed a plate in front of him.
Snake then viciously attacked the pork and ate every single bit of it not really knowing what he was doing.
"Do you like it", Meat asked.
"It is fantastic", Snake replied.
Meat then suddenly began to laugh obnoxiously.
"What's so funny", Snake inquired.
"You have no idea what you have done? You ate your precious Master Miller", Meat laughed.
"What", Snake wondered as he looked around and realized he was in a lab with humans being turned into PIGS!
Snake then felt really sick as he then vomited all over the floor.
"But don't worry snake soon you too will be part of my collection. Just like another one of your friends", Meat said as he revealed another pig that looked very familiar.
"Snake", the pig asked in a familiar voice.
"Meryl", Snake said as his eyes widened.
Suddenly Snake felt funny as he too changed into a pig.
"You're a monster", Snake said as he attacked Meat.
"Bad piggy bad piggy", Meat said as he tried to beat snake with his stick.
But snake dodged his attack and threw him into a pit of some red liquid.
"Noooo", Meat yelled as he fell.
When Meat emerged he too was a big fat pig.
"I am a pig", Meat said as he cried like a baby.
"I will take that as a confession", Jones said as he cuffed Meat.
A scientist then walked into the room.
"Don't worry I have an antidote for that", White said as he got out a needle.
"Great job Otacon", Snake said.
"I don't know what you mean", White said as he cured Snake and Meryl.
Meryl then kissed Snake as they both walked out of the farm.
A week later, Otacon drove Sunny to a catholic school.
"Almost there Sunny", Otacon said as he drove.
Sunny was a little nervous when she saw the school for the first time in the dark.
"Are you sure about this Uncle Hal", Sunny asked as they parked.
"Of course", Hal said as he dropped Sunny off at the entrance.
But when Sunny walked down the hill she saw a garage door open with a strange nun holding a big hammer. Sunny then tried to run back to Hal but it was too late for Hal drove off without her.
"Oh no", Sunny said as the nun hit with the hammer.
"Yes little girl you too shall be sacrificed for the eternal paradise", the evil nun laughed as she dragged Sunny into a cell.
Sunny woke up and knew she had to escape. Sunny opened the door and ran upstairs into the kitchen where she found a cable to fix the electric panel nearby. After she got the power running again she bolted down the stairs where she saw the nun again.
"Where do you think you're going", The evil nun said as she attacked Sunny.
But thanks to Snake's training Sunny dodged out of the way and ran to the front desk.
"Come back here you must be sacrificed", the nun shouted.
Sunny leaped through the window where she found a box of cookies she smashed them and found a key. Sunny opened the main door and ran out as fast as she could.
"Next time I pick the school uncle Hal", Sunny said to herself.
Suddenly Snake appeared and grabbed Sunny.
"Sunny", Snake asked as he looked at her.
"Snake", Sunny said as the nun appeared.
"Give me back the girl", the nun hissed as the FBI surrounded her.
"Put your hands up drop the hammer", Jones yelled.
"Never", the nun said as the agents gunned her down.
"Now I will never see my son again", The nun said as she died.
"Let's go home", Snake said to Sunny as they walked away together.
Hal never did have good taste in women after all.
THE week after that.
Raiden's son John was outside playing with his toys until he saw an ice cream truck appear before him.
"Well hello there little boy. Would you like to buy some of my delicious ice cream", Rod asked John.
"Sure", John replied as he ran over to the truck.
"What flavor would you like", Rod asked as he prepared himself for the kill.
That was when Raiden saw John talking to Rod as Rod then froze John!
"Get in there you bastard", Rod said as he carried John into his truck.
Raiden saw the whole thing and ran outside to confront Rod.
"Well hello there sir. Would you like to buy some ice cream", Rod asked as Raiden gave him the stink eye.
"Give me back my son", Raiden demanded.
"I don't know what you are talking about sir", Rod laughed nervously.
"Liar, I saw you attack my son John and bring him into your truck. Now hand him over or should I call the police", Raiden threatened Rod.
"I think you are terribly mistaken sir. Please calm down", Rod said as he prepared himself to make his next move.
"I will show you calm you bastard", Raiden said as he drew his forty five caliber semi automatic pistol and shoved it into Rod's face.
Rod then laughed nervously as he made his move and knocked the gun out of Raiden's hands as he then grabbed him.
"You think I remember my victims you fool", Rod said as he looked at Raiden up and down.
"You seem to be too skinny to be useful to me. But I can fix that", Rod said as he grabbed an ice cream cone.
"Eat this fool", Rod laughed as he shoved the ice cream down Raiden's throat.
Raiden nearly choked on the ice cream as he shallowed it.
"That was some pretty tasty ice cream but I am still calling the police", Raiden said as he tried to pick up his gun.
Suddenly Raiden felt funny as he became fat!
"What the hell did you do to me", Raiden asked as he tried to run away.
"Well hello there chumby boy. Nice and plump just the way I like them", Rod laughed as he walked toward Raiden.
"Get away from me you creep", Raiden yelled as Rod froze him too.
Rod then stuffed Raiden into his truck.
"Gonna get some kids today especially the plump chumby ones. Then we're gonna make some ice cream fun", Rod sang to himself as he drove away.
Finally Rod drove them all the way to his factory and by the time Raiden was unfrozen he found himself and John trapped in cages.
"Now don't go anywhere because we're about to make some ice cream fun", Rod laughed as he walked away.
"What a creep", Raiden said to himself as he managed to break out of his cage.
But he still needed a way to free John.
"There must be some kind of control room nearby just hold on John I will be right back", Raiden said as he left the room.
Raiden carefully made his way through the corridors when suddenly Snake appeared before him.
"Freeze", Snake said.
"Snake", Raiden replied.
"Raiden is that you? What happened to you", Snake wondered.
"It's a long story. Short of it is that some ice cream guy kidnapped me and my son and now we're trapped here trying to find a way out", Raiden explained.
"And I see you been some ice cream on the way", Snake noted.
"What do just say", Raiden asked.
"You seem to have put on some pounds Raiden", Snake added.
"Oh give me a break Snake. He force-fed me one ice cream cone and now I am fat", Raiden elaborated as Snake shook his head.
"Well then we better get jogging I mean moving let's go", Snake said as Raiden shook his head.
"Not so fast", Rod said as he appeared out of thin air.
"That's the guy", Raiden shouted.
"You two aren't going anywhere. Slaves get them", Rod shouted as his robot army attacked Snake and Raiden.
"Time for exercise Raiden I mean time to fight", Snake said as Raiden shook his head.
"Oh for the love of, whatever", Raiden said as he started shooting.
Raiden and Snake managed to destroy all of Rod's robots.
"Noooo", Rod yelled as the FBI surrounded him.
"It's over Rod surrender", Jones ordered.
"Never I am going to make some ice cream fun. I am an Avenger I am Rod the ice cream maker", Rod shouted as they gunned him down.
"Well it's time for a diet for you", Snake said as Raiden rolled his eyes.
"Oh for crying out loud I get it already", Raiden said as he got the key from Rod.
Raiden then saved his son and they all went back home for some rest.
THE end