Zee took a sip of lemonade, her eyes fixed on her daughter, though her ears were perked up to her companions' conversation.

"Those," Chris said, nodding at Jamie and Lila, "are two tough cookies. The next generation of strong, independent women."

"That's what we're trying to raise them to be, right?" Annie smiled, lifting her paper cup up in a toast.

Zee's heart swelled with pride and a little sadness. Jamie was tough, she had to be. That was the part Zee hated. Life was unfair, and her little one already tested that. Too soon.

But now, why was Chris trying to subtly reassure Zee about it? It wasn't her place to. Not that Zee didn't appreciate it, but she hadn't asked for it. She already had an overprotective man to ward off, she didn't need someone else pointing the concerned spotlight on her shortcomings.

"I'm sure it wasn't easy raising Jamie all on your own." Bonnie blushed, putting the now-sleeping Victoria back in her stroller. "Sorry, I put two and two together from your website, the fallen hero fundraisers you promoted over the years, and—"

"It's okay," Zee reassured her. "I hadn't always been alone."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Bonnie rushed, backed up by Annie's kind look and Chris's supportive gaze.

"No, I don't mind talking about Dillon among friends." Zee smiled. At least none of them was looking at her with pity, not yet. Not even Chris, who already knew the whole truth, though Zee wished she would tone down her looks and the ones she threw at Jim, too…

"Dillon is your late husband?" Annie gently probed.

Zee nodded, wondering for a moment if it wasn't too cruel allowing herself to make real friends just to hurt them when she left. Soon. Too soon. Drawing in a deep breath, she decided to go with her gut instinct for once in her life. She took out her phone and dug through her gallery, desperately wanting to share some kind of connection with these women though unable to tell them everything.

"Oh," Bonnie said, looking at the family portrait. There Zee stood holding a few months old Jamie, with Dillon embracing them from behind, all proud in his army's polished clothes. "He's—"

Heat rushed at Zee's cheeks and she forced out a covering laugh. "I guess I have a type, uh?"

She inspected the group's gazes. Did they think it was morbid how alike Dillon and Jim looked? Was it morbid? They were so similar and yet so different. Both had chestnut hair, but Dillon sported a close-cropped military cut, of course. And despite both having hazelnut eyes that held a whole world in them, they were hunted in different ways. They were both fit, but Jim was leaner, whereas Dillon had more muscular mass and broader shoulders. And they're jaws… Zee adored their jaws. Maybe Dillon's was just a tiny bit more square, but they both had that little cleft at the center of it. How much she'd loved kissing her husband's cleft. But she equally loved kissing Jim's sweet cheeks dimples.

"And a thing for uniforms, too," Annie chimed in, taking Zee's phone from Bonnie.

Another similarity, another difference. Dillon was Army, and Jim was SWAT. Both were strong but deeply caring. Both fiercely loyal. Both with complicated family dynamics to deal with. The biggest difference in their characters was that Dillon had been decided, focused on his future when they crossed their path. He knew exactly who he was and where he wanted to go, and he was ready to fight tooth and nail for it. Jim, on the other hand, was barely more than a kid when they'd met for the first time. Lost and traumatized by how fast he'd had to grow. Still needing to find his way, his place in the world. Which he now seemed he'd found with 20-Squad.

"Aren't we all suckers from a man in a uniform at this table?" Bonnie said more than asked. "I may or may not admit that what had me fall for Victor head first was precisely his uniform."

Chris tilted her head, channeling undisclosed emotions into the scrutiny of Dillon's picture. Zee guessed she was thinking about her self-imposed rule about never dating a fellow cop—which Bonnie must not know about. Zee had no idea either about the deeper reasons behind that rule; Jim had never explained in detail not to betray Chris's trust. But what if Chris had not had that rule and she and Jim had gotten together years ago? She would have stolen this little sun ray from Zee in her last moments of life. Selfish thinking. Jim would have been happier now.

Zee shook the thought off and went on explaining. "I guess I can't blame any of you for guessing Jamie could be Jim's at first glance."

The three women exchanged guilty looks.

"Jim told you about that rumor?" Surprise, uncertainty, and a dot of shame all tinged Bonnie's voice.

Zee let out a hearty laugh. "Don't worry, I'm not mad about it. And neither is Jim. We actually may owe you all an apology for being so mysterious at first."

"You're not the one who should apologize, honey," Annie said.

Bonnie's eyes lit as she quickly recovered from the embarrassment of believing the rumor without checking. The fact that Bonnie was a fan of her music and that she was excited to meet Zee in person and know everything about her still made Zee a little self-conscious.

"I bet Jim just wanted to keep you hidden," Bonnie said. "So the guys wouldn't mess up with your mind like they tried to do with mine way back when. All good-naturedly, of course," she rushed to add.

Chris shook her head in a boys-will-be-boys kind of way, and Zee's curiosity grew. "Please, do tell."

"Okay, I guess that's my time to claim the stage," Bonnie continued. "Way back when things were moving slow and steady between Victor and me, I felt we were building something, but we were still not ready for the big step. But the guys started teasing and playing, instilling in me the idea I was going to receive a proposal on Valentine's Day. All while making Victor believe I was expecting one." She toyed with her wedding band. Zee remembered how long it took her to adjust to that sensation, and how long it took to re-adjust when she'd finally decided to not wear it anymore. "They can be nosy, but I swear they're harmless."

"That happened the night this angel decided to bless us with her arrival in this world." Annie smiled, adjusting the blanket on her daughter. "Bonnie, I'm glad you took your sweet time with your relationship with Victor, but I admit David telling me that story about you and the giant stuffed bear instead of an engagement ring took my mind off some of the pain and fear of the labor. Though that is not the reason we named her Victoria."

"Oh, I still have that stuffed bear." Bonnie's gaze drifted from her friend's baby to her husband, still playing corn-hole. Her smile turned from wistful and somewhat sad to brighter, though somewhat private. "When it's right, it's right, and you know it. You just have to wait."

Yeah, but what if you don't have that time? Zee objected in her mind and spotted Chris stiffening and stifling a cringe.

"How were we talking about Jamie's resemblance to her dad but not about your litter, Annie?" Chris changed the subject, though Zee wasn't sure if it was for what she knew about her or something else about Bonnie's past. "I know how you encourage each of your kids to be unique and show their own personality, but physically? You guys make them with a stamp."

Annie's laugh filled the air as her eyes searched the surroundings. Deacon, as Jim called Annie's husband, was now playing a simpler version of corn-hole with Matthew and little Samuel while Lila kept playing with Jamie under Jim's close watch. "Sometimes David whines about them resembling me more than him, but he just can't see how every one of them resembles him in character. And I'm glad of that."

"They take after you a lot, too. You're both great parents," Chris said. "Your kids couldn't have better role models to inspire them." She was a terrific aunt and a proud godmother; it showed even if Jim had not told Zee that specifically about her. But would she want to be a mother at all? Would she want to give Jim the family he craved and deserved when the right time came for them? If it ever came…

Not your business to go there!

"Agreed," Bonnie beamed. It was easier reading her than Chris. Her eyes gleamed with the desire to enlarge her family one day. "And Zee, Jamie looks like she has taken the best from both you and her father, too."

Zee smiled, pride filling her heart as she glanced at her daughter. "I assure you Jamie Lee didn't only take hair and eyes from Dillon. And not just the smile, either." She took a hand to her heart. "Oh, I'm sorry pictures can't give it justice." She took out another one of him with little Jamie in his arms. "The dimples are a blessing from my mom's side of the family, though." She shrugged, bringing up a photo of her parents to show the girls. "I guess the gene skipped a generation. But everyone says Jamie inherited my family's nose, too, and, unfortunately for her, my attitude. I can be pretty stubborn."

"I say she got independence and courage from you." Chris's words were as unexpected as heartwarming.

"Oh, her father was the brave and tough one. Army guy, remember?" Zee shook her head, missing her late husband so much now despite Jim's strong, loving presence hovering all around her. "Army doctor, actually." Who else could fall in love with a woman whose heart could fail any minute if not one who's seen it all in battle?

"He was a reservoir when you met him, right?" Bonnie asked. Of course, she was the one who knew a little bit more than the others from her professional life, though Zee had been private enough with her fans.

"Close enough. Dillon was technically in between missions, being stationed for the longest stretch of time in his career at the same hospital in Charleston, where veterans have a privileged route to get top-quality pro bono treatments." Zee smiled at the memory forming in her mind.

"How did you meet him?" At that point, Bonnie wasn't bashful anymore, just plainly curious, but Zee didn't mind. She just had to choose what she could actually share without lying.

"The day Dillon decided to ask me out, I happened to be up for a routine checkup." If these women knew how much doctor appointments had been a steady routine for me in the last ten years… "One moment, he was wandering out and about the isles in his scrubs, stealing glances, and the next, he was plainly courting me."

"Oh, girl, you do have a thing for sexy uniforms," Annie chimed in, amused.

"I guess." Zee shrugged. "I just couldn't resist his charm, and lucky me, he'd never been my doctor, so..."

Bonnie's eyes sparkled. "Love at first sight?"

A sigh escaped Zee as her eyes darted to her current boyfriend. "Not really." Not like with Jim. "It took Dillon a few attempts to win me over." Jim was still lodged steadfastly in my heart even after surgery and months away. Not to talk about the lingering fear of my condition… Zee blinked hard, flooded by the mess she'd drown both men into. "But he was a man on a mission. He soon became my best friend, and then…" She shrugged. "Well, you can imagine the rest."

Except they couldn't. They couldn't even begin to imagine how that relationship had slowly built from a foundation of hope, aching, and hardly-earned trust. They couldn't understand how fiercely she'd loved Dillon though she'd never completely abandoned her bond with Jim. Or how much she still loved both men in very, very different ways that maybe were not different at all. They couldn't know how Dillon and Jim had both saved her life. How much they both had given her, much, much more than she'd been able to give back to them.

A glance at Chris, and Zee knew she maybe did understand a little bit. Her situation with Jim was totally different, but it, too, started as a rock-solid friendship… One Zee hoped they could resume.

"Let me tell you," Annie said, "that kid is a true blessing. I'm glad Lila found a friend in her."

Zee's heart squeezed, literally, and she had to take deep, discreet breaths to calm herself. Annie and Bonnie seemed oblivious, which made Zee relax faster, but Chris's eyes were set on her in that unique scrutinizing way.

"If I may ask," Bonnie tentatively said, "how did your husband…"

Zee heaved another deep breath, and her heart finally settled at a steady though painful beating. "Dillon died a hero on a mission when Jamie was just a toddler." Tears collected at the corner of her eyes. "A terrorist in disguise of an indigent patient made a point of blowing up the whole camp hospital. Dillon and another doctor were keys to assure he had not succeeded, but they ended up collateral damage." How did she hate those words. As if no one cared about the death of the man she loved. Of the father of her child.

Bonnie and Annie gasped while Chris kept her composure, though compassion flashed on her face, too.

"It was the first overseas mission he'd been called to since Jamie's birth and would have been his last." Zee's lips curved up with melancholy. "He'd decided to retire and become a full-time doctor at the Charleston hospital we met, but God had other plans for him." It still hurts like hell, but all in all, she's accepted it long ago.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Annie smiled, her eyes full of consideration. "God's plans sometimes can be hard to recognize."

Zee smiled in acknowledgment of the words. Jim had mentioned how religious the Kays were and she almost envied them in that. How easier would it be to have such faith in God, destiny…

Bonnie patted Zee's hand. "As a newlywed, I can't even think…"

"It's unthinkable even for one married ten years, or forty, I suspect," Annie said. "Every time David leaves for work…"

Chris stiffened. Would she be thinking about her fallen friend, about falling herself, or about the chance of losing Jim in the field, too? Zee's been haunted by that same thought. Especially after Jim had told her the story of Erika Rogers. The only other woman who'd made SWAT so far, following Chris's example. Had it been too risky letting him wove into Jamie Lee's life, knowing he could end up just like her father? But hopefully, Jim will have many, many years to live after Zee's memory expires.

"Losing Dillon had been devastating, but we made it through. Both of us." Zee looked at her daughter, Jim lifting her to the basket again. "I don't know if it was a blessing for Jamie to be too young to remember how painful it was or a curse because she has no real memories with her daddy." And now my poor innocent creature would go through that ache all over again thanks to me. Maybe in a few years, she would forget her mommy, too. But Zee couldn't voice her worries to the woman at this table. They shouldn't know.

Annie and Bonnie were empathetic and kind, but Chris was too quiet. This time, Zee couldn't really read her. Another thing Jim had warned her about.

"I get you lived in LA so briefly before building your musical career in Charleston," Bonnie hijacked the conversation to more mundane talk. "Why did you pause it to move back here?" she bit her lip. "If I may ask. I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I'm fangirling a little here."

Zee couldn't help but laugh. "Of course, you may ask. I'm not some kind of celebrity, only your friend's girlfriend." Jim's girlfriend, those words tasted heavenly. She twirled her key pendant between her fingers, subtly brushing the key ring connected to it. How would it taste to say 'Jim's finacè?' or 'Jim's wife' she'll never know. It ached, but Zee resumed talking, "So, back to why I moved here, it was for family reasons. For Jamie." This much she could tell without lying. She got serious again. "After Dillon died, my parents helped me juggle between my professional life and raising my daughter."

"It needs a village, as they say," Annie confirmed.

"But now we're all alone—" Zee lifted a hand in warning. "Please, enough with the pity looks. My parents had a great life, maybe not as long as they could have, but still fulfilling in every aspect." She took a long breath. "Dad had an ictus, and Mom followed him months after that. Apparently, her heart couldn't hold the hit of the loss." Bitter irony as mine seemed to hold up better than expected.

"Oh, Zee, I'm so sorry." Bonnie's eyes veiled with tears.

"Didn't I already say enough with the pity? They both died in peace and now they're together again." And I'm going to reach them soon. And Dillon. Leaving Jamie and Jim… The thought of her parents' relationship made Zee feel gratitude for the complex feelings Jim shared with Chris. At least his heart will not literally break from love and loss. "Losing them made me reflect upon what I wanted for my daughter. My poor Jamie never met Dillon's family. His parents didn't approve of his military career and cut him off for good when he refused to drop his army doctor vocation." Zee shook her head, anger flaring from deep inside her. "They refused to come to our wedding. They ignored Jamie's birth… And despite Dillon ultimately deciding to retire, they didn't even turn up for their son's funeral because of how he died."

"That's horrible." Shock seeped through Annie's voice.

"It is. And Dillon suffered terribly, even though he tried to not let it on." Was opening up with the girls a huge mistake? All the memories and feelings battling inside Zee made her body almost tremble. She'd not been so open and honest to anyone in years, and then came Jim, then Chris, and now Bonnie and Annie. And she was spilling her guts, battling with secrets, and bringing up memories she'd tried to bury.

"Of course he suffered." Bonnie shook her head. "Victor's family had never been too keen on him being a cop, and though they never turned their backs on him, that had always weighed on his shoulders." Her eyes veiled with emotions. "I can only imagine what it was for your Dillon."

My Dillon. Zee felt a pang in her gut. "He was unbreakable though it all. He knew what he wanted and who he was. And he wasn't willing to give it up for anyone. Except for his daughter. She's the main reason he considered leaving active duty a few years sooner than he'd planned." Too bad it was still too late.

"A man with a solid character and a soft soul," Annie said.

"Oh, he was." Zee's gaze wandered to Jim for a moment, then landed on Jamie. "Fortunately, Dillon's little sister picked up after him. Maybe it took a bit for her strong character to emerge, but I've known from the start there was hope for her."

"Were they close? Dillon and—"

"Emmalynn," Zee finished Bonnie's sentence. "They were when they were younger, but then their parents came in the way. Went unimaginable lengths to keep them separate. Dillon decided to wait until his sister was old enough to fend for herself before edging his way back into her life, but… at last, he didn't have the time."

The interest was high, but Zee had to take a sip of her drink before plunging on.

"When Dillon died, I was sure Emmalynn would show up. And when she didn't, I was more than a bit disappointed. You know, Dillon believed so much in her. But she didn't even send a card or flowers. Nothing." Zee shrugged. "I was so confused. So hurt on Dillon's behalf. He held high hopes for her sister. But I still decided to believe she might simply be in too much pain to do anything right away. Too frightened to lose her parents too if she tried to reconnect with Jamie in I when Dillon wasn't there anymore to be her family…"

Bonnie took a hand to her heart.

"Don't worry." Zee smiled. "I was wrong, but I learned only a few weeks ago. When Dillon passed away, his parents didn't even give Emmalynn the news of her brother's death."

Shock and horror rippled all the three women's faces, including the inscrutable Chris.

"And it's not even just that. When a couple of years later Emmalynn managed to contact me through my agent, my hopes spiked up again. I replied immediately, but then… Nothing."

"What happened to her?"

"It turned out her parents intercepted my response. Got rid of it and made up a new one where I supposedly said I didn't want anything to do with Emmalynn and that I didn't want her near me or my daughter." Zee shook her head. If her sister-in-law had so much as met her once before that fake interaction, she wouldn't have believed that response could be real. But what was done was done. No crying over the lost occasions. No losing any more time. "The worst part is that neither of us would have known her parent's foul play if I hadn't taken things into my own hands to trace her."

Chris didn't manage to conceal her hard glance.

"And of course," Zee added, feeling a bit chastised, "if Jim hadn't offered to help me find Emmalynn after I'd managed to trace her to LA."

Bonnie and Annie shared a meaningful look. "You weren't kidding about him being your knight in shining armor."

Zee managed a smile. If they only knew.

"Excuse me if I pry, but if your parents-in-law were that—"

"Innocent at earshot," Annie interrupted Bonnie.

"Why, after the way Dillon's family treated him and me, did I still try to find Emmalynn?" Zee supplied, trying to find the right words. She couldn't very well repeat to them what she'd told Chris earlier. "One night, not long after my parents died, for some reason, Jamie was too agitated to sleep, and to this day, I still don't know why."

Annie sent a sympathetic look her way.

"All the usual lullabies didn't work to calm her," Zee continued, "and instead of a bedtime story, I decided to tell her about some of my childhood memories, telling her about the grandparents she'd been lucky enough to meet and the great-grandparents she could never know." Zee's eyes drifted to Jamie, still playing with Jim and all her new friends. Then Jim sensed her watching and turned, smiling his signature dimpled smile, which gave Zee the energy to keep speaking, keep juggling with the truth of her tale. "Well, that worked like magic. After half an hour, but still…" she shook her head lightly. "I was watching her sleep then, and it dawned on me that she would never know the same stories about her daddy. I did the best I could to tell Jamie about our time as a family, about the man Dillon was, the things he did for and with her and me, but… there would always be a huge gap I could never fill about his part of the family tree."

Chris shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. Was it something in her own history or the fact this wasn't the reason for tracing Emmalynn Zee had given her before? Well, this moment might not have been what set things in motion, but it wasn't a lie either. That night, she'd really started thinking about her sister-in-law and if it could be possible to build a relationship with her despite the failure of some years prior.

Zee took a breath and continued. "You can imagine I will never, ever let Jamie know how cruel her paternal grandparents have been and that I will not let them as much as see a picture of her—not that they would be interested anyway."

A mix of pity, shock, and empathy shone in the eyes of the three women listening to her.

"But Dillon held so much hope for his sister… And I thought that if I could just talk to her in person once, maybe…" Zee put on a smile to fight the tears the memory of that time of uncertainty brought her. "Anyway, all's well what ends well. Emmalynn has been a terrific sister-in-law to me and aunt to Jamie in the last weeks since we met her. She has no more contact with her parents and thrives with her husband and two kids. And tracing her brought me right back into Jim's arms so…"

"Oww," Bonnie let out. "If you didn't take a break from your career, this would make an excellent country song…"

Zee laughed and winked. "I might have taken a break from public performances, but what tells you I could ever take a break from writing my music?" That will only happen when her heart stops beating, which will be soon enough, but not yet. Not just yet.

… … …