It was hard being a vampire, Bella is only a vampire for 3 weeks but it feels like a lifetime has passed.
It was something she always wanted but now that she needs to stay in the shadows and not being able to ease the pain of the people she had to leave behind was hard, Bella can't even look after them behind the scenes because seeing them mourn would break her composure and go and see them.
She needs to stay away or she will put them in danger as well, If only she could turn later in age, She would give a big 30th birthday and then say she'll be working overseas and just stay in contact on a distance. But she will have to accept that Bella Swan is dead. The real Bella Swan.
Everything is better than causing the people she knows more grief when the vampire mafia is coming after them.
Hopefully the memories of her will give them solace, Heaven will always be barred to her, she may never have children of her own but It's fine, She will be her own legacy,
Soon another Christmas holiday will come, It's her favorite holiday and hopefully her mother can still have a good Christmas without her one day.
Bella looked at the sky and the flakes were falling, Edward was hunting and she was happy she could be alone with her thoughts for an hour.
Bella returned to the cottage and she found Alice there, " You wanted to ask something right?" Alice said.
"Yes" Bella said defeated.
" I want to know how my mother is doing, If I can do something for her," Bella said.
" I don't want her to suffer long, I want her to believe im in heaven so that she can find solace in something" Bella said.
" I suppose I could look into her future" Alice said.
Alice blinked saddened, and Bella anxiously waited for a response,
" She's pregnant Bella, but she wants to give the baby up for adoption" Alice said.
"Why?" Bella wondered,
" She fears she'll fail the baby like she failed you" Alice said. " Mainly because she hasn't recovered from your death"
Bella sighed saddened, " I had no Idea mother felt that way"
" I'll try to see what I can do to make her see putting the baby for adoption won't make things better," Bella said, she was hoping Rene would find solace in having another child. A part of her that survived.
" What's the babies gender?" Bella asked.
" A boy" Alice said.
Bella nodded, " I need to think.. I'll talk to you later.. thank you for visiting" She said to Alice. Bella walked through the snow, she kept thinking hard, how is she going to contact Rene without revealing herself, Should she show herself? or let Rene believe she is dreaming and my spirit has visited her?
Rene might not fall for it, Bella hates herself for wanting to become a vampire so soon, She got what she wanted but it hurts so bad, not being able to do something about this.
Why does everything needs to go wrong in her life? She hasn't hunted and doesn't even feel the thirst for a moment, her mind was with Rene, the poor baby that will be send away, what if he grows up with the belief that his parents don't love him?
"Bella?" Edward spoke.
Bella looked around a bit annoyed, she's thinking of a plan and doesn't want anyone to ask her why she's sitting there by herself in the middle of a blizzard.
" I do not wish to disturb you, If you want to be left alone I will leave but I heard from Alice about what's troubling you" Edward said.
" Mother is pregnant" Bella said looking at the ground.
" I know, and that's why I'm willing to adopt the baby with you" Edward said.
" You would?" Bella asked.
" Of course, we have enough money to take care of him, the baby will be so happy to have us" Edward said.
"But my plan was to make Rene believe that I'm no longer in pain in heaven and she should keep the child." Bella said.
" No, She will not be a good caregiver, your mother have deep rooted problems and she wants to give the baby a better life, he will not be in a healthy household with a mother who doesn't want him" Edward said.
" But how are we going to adopt? we don't look a day older than 20" Bella asked. " Nobody is going to believe we have the funds to look after a baby"
" Carlisle and Esme could sign the adoption papers, and we will raise him.. together" Edward said.
" Think about this Bella, you have the opportunity to get to know your brother" Edward said. " a part of your true family, a part of Rene will always be with you" Edward said.
Bella touched the locket with Charlie's picture in it, Edward is right, now she can have both parts of her parents with her, and she will put her graduation picture in the locket as well so that she can always remember her friends.
" Son" Bella corrected and smiled with her eyes shimmering satisfied.
"He's our son" Bella added.
"Yes, I want this more than anything because It makes this life easier for you.." Edward said
"I'll be his Father, and since he is a part of you, I will love him forever." Edward said.
Bella smiled, venom glistering as a replacement for tears, It's going to be a great Christmas after all,
"Well I finally look forward to the holidays, want to join to join me Christmas shopping?" Bella said offered her arm.'
" Of course, I want to spend every second with you, want to go to Leavenworth on the second day of Christmas? It's a place I always wanted you to see" Edward said.
Bella remembers Edward wanted to go there with her to celebrate Christmas there last year, but she refused to go, Even though she rather stay away from humans for a awhile longer she felt she should make this Christmas right with him,
"If it's safe to go then yes I'll gladly go with you" Bella said, " But we need to hurry Christmas day is tomorrow,"
"We'll decorate the house within a second Bella, would you like to have a fest tree too?" Edward mentions.
Bella nodded holding his hands,
Finally, He can give her the Christmas she always wanted,
-/-
The adoption papers have been signed, Like Bella the baby was born in September,
September, the month of his wife's existence and the birth of his beloved son,
And when the baby is ready to leave the hospital Carlisle and Esme will take the baby home, When Bella came with the humble request Carlisle agreed without even thinking about it, mainly because he wants to repair the broken relationship with Edward, he hasn't spoken to Edward much and doesn't want Edward to hate him more by saying no to adopting.
Even If Edward and him were still talking Carlisle would still agree because compassion is something he always wants to keep
Esme was excited to welcome a new member in the family.
And best of all Bella will have her first Christmas as a new mother,, Edward was happy, Vampirism hasn't taken everything from her, Bella seems to be dealing with being a vampire much better than he ever did. Bella believes that you are only a monster if you act like one.
With their resources the baby will grow up in a secure home,
Edward relationship with the other Cullens has been very rocky ever since he got Bella back, Except for Alice since she kept helping him no matter how many times Edward did something dumb. And because Alice is Bella's friend Edward didn't deny her to come over.
But Edward also knows that he can't blame anyone for what the New borns have done besides himself, He chose to bring Bella into his world of danger.
He chose to leave her behind while most of his family was against this,
Bella is here now, safe, happy and despite being a vampire he will continue to protect her from anything. And now that she's with him Edward can forgive his adoptive father as well.
-/-
It was October, Bella was staring at the full moon, Bella asked Alice to keep Beau away from the house as the thirst starts to hurt, She felt unhappy and didn't trust herself anywhere near her precious baby, Maybe adopting Beau was a mistake, How could she possibly a good mother to him if she can kill him anytime?
Bella couldn't control her blood thirst anymore.
Edward had left her alone for a bit, He knows what she is going through, the thirst will be unsustainable for a while, Edward hopes Bella won't leave him for a long time, so he had to confront her. to try and make her stay.
"Bella please don't go" Edward said, " I can't read your mind but I know what you are thinking, Bella please don't.. I can't stand living without you" Edward pleaded.
Bella felt sad and Edward could tell that she didn't want to leave thank goodness.
" It's hard, I've hunted and drank from over 50 mountain Lions and it's still not enough, I could never forgive myself If I even think about coming near Beau with unloving intentions" Bella said the last sentence with a sob,
" I want our baby to be safe," Bella said.
" Bella Beau has a family who will keep him safe, you don't need to go anywhere" Edward said.
" I don't want him to think or remember me as a blood sucker, He needs to see me as mom and nothing more" Bella said,
" I promise I'll return soon, Before Christmas " Bella said.
"No, I won't allow it, You're not going to leave me here" Edward said,
"Edward you have Beau, you will always have a part of me with you" Bella said but Edward refuses to let go.
"No, Bella I can't stay a second without you close to my side" Edward pleaded.
"But I need to find a way to oppress the blood thirst, I can't allow myself to be a danger to Beau" Bella said.
But Edward refuses to let go, His eyes pleaded her to stay.
"I'll be back in a week" Bella promised and Edward went on his knees holding her tighter.
"One day?" Bella asked wanting to loosed his hold but he tightened in response, Edward refused to budge, maybe he's suffering from ptsd, Even since she survived the Ambush Edward is fearful of losing her again.
"Okay Edward you win, " Bella said.
"What can I do about this then?" Bella wonders.
"Well, I suppose we could hunt on humans" Edward said.
Bella's eyes bulged, " No you can't"
" Please let me finish, I mean like I did during my vigilante years, We'll hunt on the worst type of humans If you ever feel like your control is slipping away." Edward said.
"But what about your beliefs?" Bella asked.
"The things I believed in.. the things I thought that was for your best interest only made everything worse, I don't want to deny you anything that makes this new life worth leading" Edward said.
"And I want to face anything life throws at us together.. like I should have done in the beginning.. I want to make one last thing right with you.. and that is to follow your lead instead of acting like I know what's better for you" Edward said, Regret shimmered over his face, Bella knew why, the clean break he forced her into still hurts him. And the result of that.
"Edward.. just try not to let the past hurt you, you know better now, And today let's promise each other that and we do what's best for each other, and for our son so that none of us have to hold on to the shortest end of the stick." Bella said.
"Fine, I'll stay, let's go hunting" Bella said and Edward held her hand, both disappeared under the moonlit sky, Edward heard the persons thoughts who was following a woman, he had the weapon concealed in his coat to kill her.
Edward felt disgusted seeing the images of what he will do to her just because he can, " Over there" Edward said looking at the individual who watches her to see where she lives.
" Are you sure?" Bella said, as the smell of human blood reliefs the pressure in her frame. the thirst boiled warmly in her throat.
"Yes, hurry before he harms her" Edward said, and Bella prowled,
It was fast, the man was dragged into the shadow without a chance to call for aid,
"Ah" Bella said feeling her strength return, She growled when footsteps came closer assuming one of his buddies wants to assault her, and looked at Edward in shock, " Sorry, " Bella said.
" I wasn't snarling at you.. I thought there was another one" Bella said embarrassed.
" I know you didn't, It's okay, So Do you feel better?" Edward asked, impressed with her control, she could have hunted down the woman but she prevents herself from doing it without even trying.
" Not really, I need more, this type of vermin doesn't taste very good." Bella said disappointed with her catch.
"Okay, give me a moment" Edward said holding her hand again to make sure she won't attack anyone innocent, Through the crowd above the rooftops Edward was scanning thoughts, A man was walking with a bottle of acid, he wants to throw it in the face of a woman who rejected him and Edward heard many corrupt and disgusting thoughts but this really upsets him, the woman was so beautiful and Edward couldn't let him do that to her.
" Follow him" Edward ordered and they both followed him, Edward could hear his thoughts, he wants to turn off the water so that if he throws acid in her face she can't use tap water to stop the burning,
" What a vile disgusting man" Edward said and Bella eyed him, feeling a bit bad for making Edward go through this again just because she wants human blood, Bella wanted to touch his shoulder to let him know they can go home after this but instead of letting Bella Prowl Edward came after the man, the bushes ruffles and Edward was face to face with the acid thrower, He wanted to throw it in Edwards face but Edward broke his arm and jumped him, within a split second of rage he snaps the man's neck.
" You saved her" Bella whispered carefully approaching Edward, Bella looked at the bedroom window and there she was, brushing her long locks in front of a mirror, Bella was happy that Edward picked up the man's thoughts just in time.
Bella then grabbed the corpse bringing it to somewhere secure and started to feed before the blood turns cold,
"Darling.. I hate to admit but I think I need one more, then we can go home" Bella said.
"You know.. I'm tempted to drink human blood as well, " Edward said.
"Don't, your family is against this" Bella said,
" You and Beau are my family" Edward said.
"We aren't hunting down the innocent, but the won't who don't deserve to live" Edward said.
" I picked up thought of multiple child rapists in the crowd, We need to stop them before they harm them" Edward said,
-/-
Wife beaters, rapists, pedophiles, mothers who let other men sleep with their daughters were their main priority but a few severe bullies have been attacked by them.
It's been so long since Edward had human blood, He didn't plan on joining Bella but when he witnessed the blood splash, the slurping sound Edward felt his throat burn, he could no longer ignore it, like a Vegetarian craving for meat and the satisfaction coming with it of consuming something that was like the forbidden fruit for so many years.
When they were done hunting they heard a baby cry, Edward grabbed Bella's arm in restraint but also loving, after all he is her husband first.
Bella heard the cry louder, and wanted Edward to lose his grip, " I'm not going to hurt the baby, I need to see if it needs aid" Bella said.
Bella hurried towards the sound and Edward kept an eye on her, underneath a small carton box, there was a small baby, the feet were cold despite wearing tiny wool socks.
Bella held the baby, She starting to cradle the fragile frame close to her, She hates that her body is cold now, providing no warmth at all.
Edward came closer moving her arm away to see the baby, Edward removed his coat and Bella placed the baby in there.
"We need to take the baby home" Bella said.
"Yes, when the baby is finally warm we can call the police" Edward said.
"No, this is my baby.." Bella said, " Beau deserves a sibling"
Edward didn't question her, she probably misses Beau since they have been away for a few days and she seeks comfort in holding the child,
Bella wanted to hunt on more disgusting trash but the baby comes first for now.
"So you're not going to give the baby to the authorities?" Edward said.
" No," Bella said stubborn cradling and cooing.
"Okay I supposed we can keep the baby for a few weeks" Edward said wanting to leave,
"No, I'll be the mother.." Bella said.'
" Then I'll be the Father" Edward said and Bella's pout disappeared, That's what she wanted to hear, As soon as Bella held the baby she wouldn't believe how much she already loves her little nugget.
Bella warmed up the cottage while Edward was out to buy baby supplies right away before the shops are closing, Beau was snoozing in his crib while Bella changed the babies diaper.
It's a girl, after powdering Bella cradled her to the shoulder.
" Oh my sweet baby," Bella said when the baby whimpered, " Mommy is a bit cold " Bella stood close to the fire place.
" Maybe a warm bath will help" Bella wonders she walked towards the bathroom and let the water run, she stepped in the bathtub with the baby and the baby stopped crying laying peacefully in Bella's arms as she carefully rubbed a warm cloth over her face.
"Mommy is here" Bella said,
-/-
Bella dried her hair, and combed it neatly into a presentable look, placing the locket back around her neck, both of her children were vast asleep and Bella picked a book from the shaft to kill some time, She wants Edward to come back, It drives her nuts that he is not with her.
Maybe Alice can see that she needs to head out desperately and will come to look after the children while she is gone, Bella breathed out, She walked out of the cabin and looked over the snowy cliff and waited there until she could see a glimpse of Edward.
She remains Close to the house in case her children wake up, and kept waiting for Edward.
The sound of the Volvo was heard in the distance and Bella ran towards it.
" Edward!" Bella said, " How could you leave me alone this long?" she said when Edward stepped out with a bag.
"I've only been away for 3 hours, I tried to come as fast as I could" Edward said.
" Well don't stay away this long, I need you here" Bella said.
It's so wonderful but yet terrifying that she wants him close to her every second of the day, hopefully that desire never cease, It will as time progress every strong desire of a new born fades, It will grow into a loving state.
That's fine, thankfully Vampires love forever.
As the burning log was making a peaceful sound Edward and Bella were sitting on the couch, Bella couldn't sleep anymore but it still felt nice to be held like she could dose off any moment.
they looked up when they heard Beau Cooing, He was having fun in his crib and Bella inhaled resting against Edward again.
"So have you thought of a name?" Edward asked.
" I think Reni is a nice name for her, a different version of my own mothers name" Bella said.
"And her middle name?" Edward asked.
" Esmae, And Edwardina" Bella said,
Edward narrowed his eyes like he ate something very sour. He didn't like it.
"Why not choose a name that doesn't resemble too much like mine?"Edward asked,
"Why not?" Bella wonders.
"It's old fashioned, maybe use Eden or Eliza as a middle name?" Edward said.
"But I want this baby to be yours as well" Bella said, "You should be more than her care giver, she deserves a father"
"And I will be her father, so there is no need for strange names," Edward said.
"Okay well I suppose you can give her a middle name" Bella said.
Edward liked Eliza a lot but he vowed that he would do anything to keep Bella happy with her new existence so he'll let her have her wish.
"Edwardine is fine" Edward said.
"But it's almost the same as the one I suggested" Bella said.
" I know but It makes you happy, " Edward said.
"Eden could be short for Edwardine so don't feel sad" Edward said when Bella bit her lip a bit, feeling so unsure of what to do.
"Okay fine, I'm so happy you are on board with this," Bella carefully giving Reni to Edward.
Edward wished he had a heartbeat so he could place Reni close to it, It's extremely cold outside and dreaded that he couldn't keep her warm,
" How do you feel now Bella?" Edward asked.
" Great, this is so much better.. I'm not sure If I can go back to hunting wild life, mainly because I do feel bad for them, I think the worst type of scum deserve to die more than beautiful elks" Bella said.
" You don't have to, I'm fine with everything that makes you happy.." Edward said.
"What would your family say if they saw your eyes brightly red," Bella said, " I'm sorry for dragging you along in this"
"As I said before You and our children are my family.. the others well they have each other I'm not needed there" Edward said.
" You know. I look forward to this Christmas, I have you, our babies, I have most of my friends still" Bella said.
" I really hope nothing will ruin this day" Bella said.
" Well that's why we should celebrate now, because If we celebrate everyday then then any unfortunate event can easily be recovered from because we don't wait until Christmas or for any special day to do something great together." Edward said.
" Celebrate very day so that misfortune has no authority over your mood" Bella said.
"That's right darling" Edward said. He liked how she made his attempt to teach her something about living life to the fullest into something a lot more meaningful.
" Yolo" Bella said.
" Sorry?" Edward said.
" It means You only live once" Bella said, well not in our case but when I was depressed my friend Jacob said you only live once and sulking is a waste of time" Bella said.
" You're friends with Jacob now?" You didn't tell me that" Edward mentions.
" Well I don't know where we stand, I love him still, I think he loves me too but I still want to be with him but he seems repulsed now that I'm like this" Bella said.
"Give him time Bella, Jacob wants you but he is struggling with his inner turmoil" Edward said.
" He hates Vampires I know.., You know what? I'm not going to wait here.. I will give him a call and hopefully he'll come over so that we can talk" Bella said.
" You don't mind right?" Bella asked.
" No, I'll stay away if you want" Edward said.
"You can stay at the house, It's not fair to make you leave, We can always meet up behind the treaty line like last time" Bella said.
"For now I like to stay here, If he behave mean towards me I'll be in a sad mood all day, I want to have a Christmas with you and after that I'll pay him a visit." Bella said.