Hi Readers: What did you guys think of the flashbacks I included in the last chapter? Did you think that I wrote them well, and did you understand how I changed the story from present time to past time? Let me know in the comments after you read Chapter 4. Enjoy.

Chapter Four

She always loves it when Jay comes back to bed with breakfast, especially the way he plays with her before they eat; just like the way he was playing with her right now by hovering on top of her with his hand on her body as they took things nice and slow with each other before eating breakfast. Honestly, it was just the best feeling in the entire world due to the fact that Jay is the love of her life; there's truly no other man she could ever see herself loving like Jay due to the fact that he just knows her better than anybody. And that's why she has a huge smile on her face right now, because of how much she truly loves the man of her dreams as he hovered on top of her and took things nice and slow with her here in the comfort of their bed; something that only her husband gets to do with her since she's a very happily married woman. A woman with a very sexy husband who knows exactly what she wants and when she wants it, which is precisely why Jay is taking things slow with her right now, because he saw her staring at him in a certain way.

A way that told him that his wife wanted him, much more than she wanted breakfast this morning, which was why he was currently on top of her, with his hand on her face as they took things nice and slow with each other in bed. "Someone likes this." Placing her hand on Jay's face, Alex smirked as she very much liked the way she and her dreamy husband were getting with each other right now. It's just the sexiest feeling in the entire world, which is why she wants him to take things slow with her right now. She wants him to kiss her the way he was kissing her, as it makes her very happy. "Of course, I like this feeling; it makes me very happy when you're on top of me." Jay smirked as Alex said that, before moving to lean over her some more, while also placing his arm on the bed to support himself. Meanwhile, Alex placed her hands on Jay's face as they held each other close. Held each other the only way they wanted to hold each other way right now, in silence with nothing put the two of them concentrating on each other. At least, for a moment.

After all, it wasn't like they could do this for long when they have warm food in the room; rather, they're going to need to eat the food sooner rather than later. But, for now, they were happy with the time they were getting with each other. The sexy time that they were enjoying right now, as it was truly everything they could ever want with each other. It was perfect and just the best feeling in the entire world. God, Jay's eyes are so beautiful, and they just make Alex love her husband even more. "Have I ever told you just how much I love you?" Jay smiled as he heard Alex say that, as he loves her too. "I love you too, which is why I am so glad we have time alone with each other." Alex sighed, as she knew this was a topic they were going to have to talk about; as did Jay. "Yeah, we need to talk about our plans for next year, don't we?" Alex agreed with her husband. "Yeah, especially if we want to try for a baby again. Jay, I can't do it the way we did it last time. I need you here with me in case something happens." Moving to lay down on his side, Jay agreed.

After which, he rolled over and went to grab their food. "Here, let's eat as we talk so that the food doesn't get cold." Alex agreed with Jay, as she likes that idea; the idea of them eating as they talk, rather than just let the food go cold. But before she ate, she decided to sit up against her pillow and tug the covers up on top of her lingerie. "God, you are such a tease when you do that." Alex agreed with her husband, while watching as he gave her plate of pancakes to her. "Pancakes, yum." Smiling as he sat up too, Jay went to get comfortable as he turned to look at his wife. "I'm glad that you want them. I was nervous when I made them over whether you'd want to have them in the first place." Looking at her husband, Alex was shocked that he would even think that way. "Jay, I love pancakes. And I love you. I know you want what's best for me, and me starving myself isn't the best." Jay agreed with Alex. "By the way, you still doing me that favor and looking for models who aren't eating healthy?" Alex agreed with her husband as she took a bite.

After all, that was something she most certainly was doing; especially since she has a feeling that was one of the reasons she miscarried their child. "Yeah, I am. And I'm reminding them that they need to be healthy if they want to carry their child to term." Jay nodded when he heard Alex say that, until he realized just what she said; how she said that she thinks that her diet is related to the reason why she miscarried their baby a month ago. "Alex, do you really feel the way? That you miscarried due to the fact that you were still doing the diet at the start of your pregnancy? Babe, you had no idea that you were even pregnant; so, there's no way for you to have even known that you were doing anything wrong." Alex sighed, well aware that was the case. "I know that in my head, by not in my heart at times. I mean, the baby was in me Jay." Jay agreed with his wife as he went to grab her hand and intertwined their fingers. "I know that, and I hate that you still hurt about it so much." Alex agreed, as she does hurt about it.

She hurts due to the fact that it was their child. "There are just times that I feel like I let you down, but we already spoke about that. I know and…" Moving his hand to Alex's neck, Jay tugged her lips against his to get her to shut up. "Just take a breath and relax, okay? Everything will be okay because I'm here and I love you more than anything. That's the truth, and you already know that." Alex agreed with her husband, well aware that was the truth. "Here, let's keep eating as we talk." Alex agreed as she took another bite of her pancakes. "I like that idea. And I know that I am being completely irrational about this right now." Jay sighed, as that wasn't the word he was hoping to use; however, it is the best way for him to describe it. "Unfortunately, I do not have another term to use to describe it. But, I promise that I want to try and find another one. I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Alex agreed with her husband, as she could see that was the case based on the look he just has in his eyes; the eyes that she knows better than anybody.

After all, she stares in them each and every day; she stares at the man she loves, as they hold each other and just take it easy with each other as they are right now. Now that Alex reached out and grabbed Jay's hand, while also intertwining their fingers. "I get that Jay, and I know that we're in this together. We're figuring this out, and we're okay now. I'm okay now, so you can worry less." Jay agreed with his beautiful wife as he moved her hand to his lips and kissed it. However, the last thing he was going to do is be less worried for his wife. "Alex, I will always worry about you. That's a fact. You're my wife, the woman I love, and the woman I will always worry about. That's a fact, I promise." Alex agreed with Jay, well aware that was the case. So much so, that she didn't even need to hold his hand to know it was the truth. "Listen, how about me and you just eat? That way, we can do what we really want to do right now." Jay smirked as Alex said that. "I can take you in my arms?" Alex laughed, as she knew that her husband wanted that.

He wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her, but not right now. Not when it was time for them to relax and take it easy. "Jay, the truth is…I'm still dealing with the aftermath. Remember, we just miscarried a month ago, which is why I think the wedding came at the right time. It gave me a chance to concentrate on something other than the fact that we just lost a baby. Gave me a chance to take it easy and remember that I still have an amazing live with the man I love more than anything in the entire world." Jay smiled as he heard Alex tell him that, well aware that was the case as they both just held each other close right now. "Ok. The more you talk like that, the more you're going to make me want to take you in my arms and make sweet love to you." Alex laughed as she went to take a bite of her breakfast once more, the delicious breakfast that her loving husband made for her. "Thanks for making me this nice breakfast. It's everything I want, and I hope you know I appreciate it." Jay agreed with his wife, as he knew that.

He knew that she appreciated the breakfast he made for her, as she always does. "Babe, I know that; you never need to worry about me not knowing that you like it when I make us breakfast. And I make us breakfast because I know it's what you need me to do for us when you're feeling sad." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, smirking due to the fact that her husband is such a great man. "Ok, we really need to eat now before I pounce on you and ruin the bedspread. The one you'd have to clean for me." Jay laughed, as he was certain that she would really do that. "I know, and I want to pounce on you too. But, I promise that we can just take it easy and relax once we're done eating. So, let's eat and then you can get what you want from me." Alex agreed with her husband, more than ready to get what she wants from him: some nice kisses that will certainly make her very happy as they take it nice and slow with each other in the comfort of their bed right now. After all, that's all Alex wants to do right now: take it slow with her husband.

She originally offered to go do the dishes since Jay made breakfast, but he told her that he got it. He was going to take care of it, as he just wanted her to relax; so, that's precisely what Alex has been doing ever since the two of them finished breakfast with each other in bed. However, that didn't mean that she was in bed anymore. Rather, she was currently at the window overlooking the landscape that they have near their home, which was a beautiful California landscape that they both like to look at when they want to stand by the window. And let's just say that Jay loved the sight of Alex standing by the window, but for reasons other than the fact that he liked looking outside at the same time as her. Rather, he liked it because of the lingerie she was wearing. Sexy lingerie that really showed off her curves and her ass. The ass that he just made his way over to, prior to wrapping his arms around his wife and placing his hands on her legs; something that made Alex feel extremely loved and comfortable. Add in a sexy neck kiss, and Alex was in paradise.

Then again, she was always in paradise when Jay held her in his arms like this. "God, now this is nice." Jay agreed with his wife, well aware that it was nice due to the fact that he was enjoying it as well. "I think we both know that you find anything that you enjoy nice." Alex agreed with her husband, as that most certainly is the truth. She likes whatever he gives her that makes her feel pleasure. "I especially like how you're making me feel better right now." Going to turn Alex around in his arms when she said that, Jay just agreed prior to stepping close to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. After all, of course he's going to make her feel better; that's his job as her husband. "Alex, I love you and I'm your husband. I make you feel better because that's my job." Running her hands up Jay's back, Alex smiled as she leaned in and took things nice and slow with the man she loves more than anything in the entire world. "God, you are so damn sexy, and I always feel unworthy of being your wife." Jay shook his head, as that wasn't true whatsoever.

And he decided to show that to Alex by picking her up in his arms bridal style to carry her back to bed, while also leaning in and taking things nice and slow with her. "I am the only man who gets to say that they aren't worthy of your love, because you are too loving and too kind to me." Alex smiled as Jay said that, prior to laying her head down on his shoulder as she cuddled up to the man of her dreams. The man who was currently in the midst of carrying her back to their bed, which is precisely where she wants to be right now: in their bed, cuddling up to him. "You have no idea how much I love it when you carry me to bed." Jay smiled as Alex said that, as he knew precisely how much she loved being in his arms. "Well, you love being in my arms; so, it's only natural that you love it when I carry you to bed like you want me to right now." Alex agreed, as this is what she wants. She wants to be carried to bed by the man she loves so that they can hold each other close as they take it easy with each other starting right now. Starting when they're in bed.

They made sure to cover up the moment they were in bed with each other so they wouldn't get cold, and due to the fact that it was the best way to make sure that they stayed nice and close to each other. And right now, that's precisely what Jay and Alex are; nice and close to each other in the comfort of their bed. Jay has his arm around Alex and is holding her right against his muscular chest, while she has her hand on his arm as she stroke it with her thumb and kissed the man of her dreams. She kissed the man she loves more than anything as he gave her the comfort she needs right now. She just hopes they can talk about it. "Jay?" Pulling away from the kiss, Jay smiled as he stared into his wife's beautiful eyes. "Yeah, baby?" Alex sighed as she looked down. "Do you mind if we talk about it again?" Moving his hand to the back of Alex's head, Jay agreed as they can always talk about what she has on her mind; and right now, that would be their miscarriage. "Alex, of course we can talk about that. I know you're still hurting…" Taking a breath, Jay sighed.

After all, it was the reason why he took time off. "The truth is, it's the reason why I took time off. I know I haven't been there for you as much over the past couple weeks, and I regret that. So, I hope that me taking time off for the rest of the year can be my way to make it up to you. I really mean it when I say that I'm sorry Alex, and I really hope that you can find it in your to forgive me somehow." Alex agreed with her husband, as she can always forgive him. "Jay, of course I forgive you. I love you and that's why I forgive you. I just want to make sure that you're okay too." Jay agreed with his wife, as he's okay. "Alex, I know this is harder on you. I'm okay to wait because what matters is you being okay. I mean that, and I'll always mean that because of how madly in love I am with you." Moving closer to Jay, Alex placed her hand on his bicep and smiled as she leaned in and kissed the man of her dreams softly. "Such a charmer, and the best husband in the entire world." Jay smiled as he looked at the woman he loves. "Best wife and future mother in the entire world."

Alex smiled as she heard Jay say that, loving the idea of her being a mom in the future. "I know, and I want that more than anything." Jay agreed with his wife, especially since he knows it's going to happen; just like Jack and Riley were going to come see them now that they were both on the bed. "I promise babe, it's going to happen. It just wasn't our time. Hell, we haven't even been married for a year yet; we can take our time and relax." Turning his head, Jay smiled at Jack. "Come here Jack, come to daddy." Smiling as Jay said that, Alex watched as Jack made his way over to Jay before laying down close to him. After which, her husband went to rub the top of his service dog's head. "You enjoy breakfast little man?" Smiling as she went to rub Jack's head, Alex looked at her husband as he was truly adorable. "I swear, you treat the dogs like they're our kids." Looking at Alex, Jay agreed as that's how he feels about them. "Come here. Come get close to me." Alex agreed with her husband, doing just that as she wrapped her arms around him.

Meanwhile, Jay wrapped his arm around her back and smiled as he loved holding his gorgeous wife in his arms; especially when she had her hands on his face and was kissing him softly. Unfortunately, Jack was in the middle of the both of them and needed to get out. So, he jumped out the moment he had a chance. "Oh, sorry Jack. We're just a bit obsessed with each other right now." Alex laughed, as she thinks he's underestimating just how obsessed they are with each other. "Just a little?" Smiling as he stared into Alex's eyes, Jay corrected himself. "Okay, maybe a lot obsessed with each other." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, as that was more like it. "Now that's more like it." Jay agreed with his gorgeous wife, especially as she cuddled up to him some more; while he ran his fingers up and down her leg and kissed the woman of his dreams softly. "I love you, and I want you to remember that for the rest of our lives." Alex agreed with Jay as she placed her hands on his face, well aware that they love each other more than anything.

I mean, how can she forget that when they take it slow with each other all the time. "Believe me Jay, I will always remember just how much you love me. And that's why I like spending time with you in bed, because how comfortable and happy you make me." Jay agreed with his wife, well aware that was why she wanted to be in bed with him right now. "If you want to be in bed with me for that reason, then you can always have me in bed. You just need to tell me you want me in bed, and I'll be right there. I'll be here, in bed with you as we take it easy with each other for as long as you need me." Smiling, Alex was very happy due to the fact that he made her happy. Jay made her feel so loved and like she's the most important woman in the entire world, which is precisely how a husband should make his wife feel. He should make her feel special, as it's their job to make them feel loved and respected for the rest of their lives. But first, they needed to just take it easy and hold each other close. "Want to watch a movie or something today?"

Alex smiled, as she loves the idea of them watching a movie; right after he takes off her bra. "How about you take off my bra first?" Jay was a bit surprised when Alex said that. "Really?" Alex nodded. "If I'm going to watch a movie with my husband, then I'm going to lay down on his chest in a way that's comfortable for the both of us." Jay agreed with his wife, as he loves that idea. The idea of her taking off her bra so that she's comfortable in his arms for the rest of the day. "Well, I love that idea; so, you most certainly will not be wearing a bra today as we watch a movie." Alex agreed with her husband as he said that, before feeling Jay reach for her bra and moving to unclip it. At the same time, she placed her hands on his face and smiled as she started to take things nice and slow with the man of her dreams. However, she also has a question for him. "Jay?" Pulling back, Jay smiled at his wife. "Yeah, baby?" Alex took a breath as she went to ask Jay her question. "Do you think we can put the baby on a backburner until at least next year?"

Jay was absolutely shocked. Not at the idea that Alex wanted to put their dream of having a baby on the backburner, but at the fact that Alex didn't KNOW that dream of theirs was ALREADY on the backburner. Why in the world would he force her to get pregnant when she's clearly in no place to even think about that? And that's precisely what he's about to tell Alex as he walked back over to bed shortly after getting the dogs set up with some toys so that they aren't bothering them right now when they clearly need to talk. And damn, did Alex love the sight of him walking over to her in his boxers. However, she also had another question for him. "You mad?" Jay sighed, before shaking his head as he wasn't mad whatsoever. "Alex, please stop thinking that I'm automatically mad just because I got out of bed. The only thing I did was set up the dogs so that me and you could have some time together." Alex agreed with her husband, as that's precisely what she wants to have with him: time as they cuddle in bed with each other. "Slip over babe."

Doing just that for her husband, Alex slipped over in bed so that he could get in, which he did shortly afterwards and laid down on his back, which is precisely how Alex wanted him to lay down since she wants to cuddle up to her man. She wants to lay down in his chest and cuddle up to the man she loves, just like she always does. She always wants to cuddle up to her husband in bed that way, and now that's how she's cuddling up to him as she crawled on top of him and went to lay down on his chest, while also wrapping her arms around Jay's torso. At the same time, Jay grabbed the TV remote and went to put it on the Hallmark Channel, which he thought they could use as background noise. Though, Alex decided to thank him as she thought it was for her, which also led to her kissing his chest. "Thanks baby." Turning his head as he placed his hand on Alex's back, Jay shook his head. "It's not for you. It's for background noise." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, before watching as he rolled them over onto their sides; only to bring her against his chest.

After which, he tugged the covers up and just looked at the woman he loves more than anything as he placed his hand on her back. "Listen, I want to talk to you about what you said. How you want to put our dream of having a family on the backburner." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, before looking down as she thought he didn't like the idea. "Let me guess, you don't like that idea." Pressing his lips to Alex's forehead, Jay shook his head. "It's not that Alex. It's because that dream is already on the backburner." Looking up at Jay as he said that, Alex was surprised. "It is?" Running his hand up Alex's back, Jay nodded and smiled as he leaned in and kissed her softly. "Alex, of course it is. It's on the backburner due to the fact that we aren't ready for that. It's only been four weeks babe. I'm barely ready to talk about another baby when I still have dreams of our last baby." Alex looked down as Jay said that. "And here I am, continuing to bring up the baby when you're trying to mourn and get past it." Jay shook his head, as that wasn't it.

He wasn't trying to get past it, he was just trying to deal with it the best he could. "Alex, I love you and I want to help you through this. But, I don't want you to think about another baby yet. I can see how much it hurts you to see another baby, when we both know that you would much rather still be pregnant with our baby. So, I don't want to rush into anything, okay?" Alex agreed with Jay, as she felt the same way. "I feel the same way, and I am so glad that we're on the same page." Jay agreed with his wife, prior to placing his hand on the side of her face and just smiling as they both took things nice and slow with each other. "We'll always be on the same page. I promise you that due to the fact that I love you and want what's best for you. And right now, what's best for you isn't thinking about having a baby when we're still grieving. So, like I said, this is already on the backburner for a while. Right now, we can think about other things; like whether you want to go back to modelling or not." Alex sighed. After all, she wasn't sure about that.

After all, she doesn't want to be apart from Jay. "The last time I did modelling full time, we were apart for long periods of time. And now that we've been together a lot, I'd rather not go back to that because I've realized just how much I hate it." Jay agreed with his wife as she said that, which made things a lot easier when it came to the decision that had to be made. "Then, it's agreed….you aren't going back to modelling, which means that your body belongs to me and only men when it's covered in sexy lingerie." Moving his hand to Alex's back, Jay tugged her body against his chest; prior to leaning in and kissing the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world. The only woman he'll ever love due to the fact that he has such great chemistry with her. Also, he feels connected to her in many ways; especially since they both lost their child together. "And, Alex…for what it's worth, I'm sorry I was a bit distant a month ago. I was lost in what I needed to do then. I hope you can forgive me." Alex agreed with Jay, as she can forgive him.

She can always forgive him due to the fact that she loves him more than anything gin the entire world. "Jay, I love you. So, of course I can forgive you. That's a guarantee, I promise." Jay agreed with his gorgeous wife as he wrapped his arm around her, only to grab the back of her head and press his lips to her forehead. After which, he leaned in and kissed the woman he loves slowly, the woman of his dreams, Alexandra Marie Halstead. "God, you are so damn sexy." Alex smiled as she heard Jay say that before going to kiss him again, until she heard her phone ring. "No, don't you dare." Alex smiled as Jay said that. "It's my sister, I recognize her ringtone." Jay agreed with his wife, while watching as she rolled over to grab her phone. After which, she double checked that it was in fact Abigal "Abby" Jacobs, her sister. "Yep, it's her. Probably calling to tell me that she has my package." Jay was confused. "What package?" Alex smiled. "Your Christmas gift." Going to answer her phone, Alex smiled as she got out of bed and walked away in her underwear.

And let's just say that really turned Jay on. "TEASE!" Smirking, Alex spoke to her sister. "Hey sis, you got it…" She said, while walking towards the bathroom so that she can talk to her sister about Jay's Christmas gift without him finding out about it.

Coming back out of the washroom after talking to Abby, Alex smiled as she looked at the man she loves as he laid down in bed looking very comfortable as he continued to watch the movie they started before she went to the washroom to talk to her sister. "You hear any of that?" Turning his head, Jay shook his head due to the fact that he didn't listen. "No, Riley here has been much more interested in having all of my attention unlike his mommy." Alex laughed as she set her phone down, prior to climbing back into bed and making her way over to her husband so that she can cuddle up to him. "Oh, shut up. I want to cuddle up to you and hold you close. You already know that and have no right to think otherwise." Jay agreed with his wife as she crawled back over to him, prior to laying down on his chest and cuddling up to him, while also bending down and kissing his chest. Meanwhile, he wrapped his arm around her back and smiled as he ran his fingers up and down her skin. "You were such a tease when you walked away in nothing but your underwear."

Placing her hand on Jay's chest, Alex cuddled up to him some more as she stroked his chest with her thumb. "And you're a tease whenever you're in bed like this. We both know that I love looking at you when you're in bed shirtless." Jay agreed with Alex as she told him that, prior to running his fingers up and down her back as a way to make her feel very comfortable in his arms. And right now, that's precisely how Alex feels; she feels comfortable in his arms due to the fact that it's exactly what they both want to be doing right now: holding each other close as they cuddle in bed, while also watching some Hallmark movies. "I love the fact that we're watching Hallmark movies." Jay laughed. "Not that I have a choice." Placing her hand on Jay's face, Alex turned her head as she stared down into his eyes. After all, she was not at all amused at the moment. "Do you want me to go put a bra on?" Jay shook his head, as that was the last thing he wanted her to do. "No, of course not." Alex smirked as she agreed with her husband, before kissing him softly.

Just taking things nice and slow with him, Alex knew that this is exactly what he wanted her to do right now. He wanted her to take things slow with him because of how much of a real turn on it is. And it's a turn on because the feeling that comes with them holding each other like this is really nice. He's always happy when he gets a chance to hold Alex like this, even more so when he knows she's hurting. And speaking of the fact that she's hurting….Jay decided to do the right thing and ask his wife how she's doing right now. Whether she needs him to do anything for her right now, or whether she just needs to talk about anything. After all, he's a great listener if he needs to talk. "So, listen. I know this might come out of the blue but…I hope you know that you can talk to me if you need to talk to me Alex." Turning her head to look at Jay when he said that, Alex nodded as she already knew that was the case. "I know, and I appreciate that Jay. I really do." She said, as she bent down and kissed the man she loves softly. "I love you for it too."

Leaning his forehead against Alex's, Jay took a breath as he went to tell her what he has on her mind. "Alex, I think we should go to counselling."