I saw a few months / years ago a post on Tumblr about a "William Sonoma Christmas spiral art glass Christmas tree" Google it, its something. It started inspiring me. And then, I passed in front of a Swaroski where they had kind of the same thing in display. I had to write it.
And since now it's Chrismas Eve, enjoy !
The 3 Raydor's kids were huddled in front of their mother's office, flabbergasted. "Is-that…" Started Emily, not believing what she was seeing. Mike Tao, surprised by the gathering, came to see what was going on. He saw the 3 little ornaments on his boss's desk and couldn't contain an « Ah » before biting his lips, trying to control his laughter.
"What's the matter, Tao?" Asked Sanchez, getting up. In less than a minute, the whole Major Crime Unit was gathered in front of Sharon Raydor's office.
"Did you see the cute little trees Andy gave me?" Sharon followed her daughter's gaze and asked, joy on her face and glitter in her eyes when she looked at the man. Those words caused a round of bulging eyes and snickering. "What's going on?" Asked the captain, feeling that something was off.
"You gave her that?! In the office?" Nearly yelled Provenza at Andy, causing even more snickering from Julio and Buzz. Tao was red in the face from trying not to laugh out loud, and so were Ricky and Emily.
"What?" Asked Andy, looking at Provenza. "WHAT?!" He repeated, seeing everyone laughing. "I'm not allowed to give her something pretty? I'm not allowed to give her a gift before Christmas, now? What's the matter, I went to buy some jewelry at Swarovski for Nicole and I saw them. The 3 little trees and the angel. And I know she loves Christmas…"
"You bought that at Swarovski?!" Asked at the same time Emily and Sykes, incredulous.
"Yeah, why?" He asked, starting to get agitated, gesticulating. "Isn't that pretty enough? I know what you all think but listen, what we are to each other is none of your business. So butt out!"
The room erupted in laughter, letting both Andy and Sharon look at each other, not really understanding what was going on. "Don't tell me you didn't notice" stated Ricky, pointing at the little Christmas trees with his chin.
Sharon took one in her hand, moved it around before saying "Oh" while flicking the switch underneath. The ornament, made of glass, started to shine, little lights moving inside like shooting stars. "Oh my god, Andy.." she started, amazed before Rusty interrupted her, taking the thing out of her hand and throwing it on her desk.
"Seriously Mom." She looked at him, puzzled. He was red beet on the face and seemed mad as Hell. Andy looked as incredulous as she felt while all the others seemed ready to burst out laughing.
"What? What?" She said, noting, not for the first time, that she was starting to sound more and more like Andy.
"It's a fucking butt plug, Mom?" Nearly yelled Rusty before leaving the room with an "I can't believe it".
"A butt plug? Like for incontinent people?" She asked, even more lost.
Emily and Ricky looked at each other, at the same time amused and lost. They looked at the other's in the room for help. Tao raised his hands up in surrender before leaving the room. Sanchez was laughing so hard tears were running down his cheeks and Provenza just shook his head.
"Seriously, what is going on?" Asked Andy. "Is this really something you put in your bum when you have diarrhea? Like a Tampax?" He said, sounding disgusted.
Provenza spun around, grabbed one of the little trees and shoved it in his chest. "It's a fucking sex toy, you idiot!"
"Oh" said both Sharon and Andy, in unison. The lieutenant gave the little tree to the captain, who finally understanding its purpose, threw it on her desk.
Ricky was laughing quietly. "You seriously didn't know?" he asked, surprised. He knew his mom was quite old school but he thought with her job… but Andy, he was sure the guy knew.
"No." They said, looking at each other, searching and finding only honesty in each other's gaze. Flynn moved back toward the desk and picked an ornament. "Why would you put that in someone's ass? That seems so …"
"Uncomfortable" finished Sharon.
Emily, who had a bit enough of her mothers prudishness. "Mom, it's used to open your butthole to …"
"Have anal sex, yeah I understood, thank you." Said Sharon, primly. "What happened to just using lube and fingers…" she said with a flick of the wrist, dismissing the idea.
"Young people nowadays, they don't want their hands dirty but they sure want to fuck like in a movie." Said Andy, shaking his head. He moved to the desk, collecting the little trees and storing them in his pocket before leaving the room followed by Sharon.
The two young adults looked at each other, stunned. Maybe they underestimated their mother.