Rewritten: The Remastered Diary of a Green Plumber

by Shana Hager

Rewrite of Unwritten, with brand-new chapters and scenes. Follow Luigi in an epic adventure spanning forty-odd years as he navigates his complex relationship with his big bro, falls in love with a tomboyish Princess and makes new friends at every turn. Rated M for sexual situations and mature themes.

19. Good Feelings

16 March 2004

Brooklyn, NY

Dear Diary,

The community pool helped host Jas's seventh birthday party. And as Jas gets older, she looks more and more like her dad. She's also picked up Julian's outgoing personality and love of exercise, but that doesn't stop her from eating sweets!

I put on my swimsuit, plunged into the pool and helped organize games with the kids. Someone started a splashing war, but it ended when we accidentally splashed a lifeguard. Parents accompanied their kids, of course, checking periodically for "prune fingers". And once we all had our fill of swimming and playing water-based games, we dried ourselves off, dressed back in our regular clothes and ate—wraps. There were ham-and-cheese, turkey and Swiss and vegetarian wraps. To wash it down, the guests could choose between fruit punch and soda. And to cap off the celebration—a big cake lit by a candle shaped like the number 7.

In other news, preparations for Roland and Grace's wedding are underway. The pair have settled for a traditional ceremony in a church, followed by a casual reception in the park. Nothing splashy—they had better things to do with their money. Now that's thinking green.

Time to write my monthly letter to Prince Peasley!

Luigi

28 June 2004

Los Angeles, CA

Dear Diary,

Today was Grace and Roland's special day! Mario and I got to sit in the first pew, alongside Professor Gadd, the bride's mom, Brigitte, and a slew of the bride's childhood friends. Greg, in a show of goodwill, was the best man, and Becky was the maid of honor. Josh, Joan, Julian, Jackie, Jasmine, Janice and Jamie sat in the row behind us, and all of us were dressed to impress.

Roland stood at the altar, clad in a navy tuxedo with a pinstripe tie, forgoing the customary flower on his lapel in favor of a Shine Sprite replica. His curly red hair was perfectly coiffed, and the way it framed his face—holy ravioli. Grace was one lucky gal!

"Here Comes the Bride" began to play on the church organ, and we all stood as Grace walked through the chapel doors in a sleek, white wedding gown. No frills or puffy skirts or poufy sleeves—just a sleeveless, simple, yet elegant gown and silver wedge heels. A bouquet of sunflowers was clasped in her hands as her dad, Niels, walked her down the aisle. He wore a white shirt, gray vest, gray tie, gray blazer and gray slacks, and was clearly fighting back tears.

Grace's auburn hair was in a loose ponytail, secured by a white ribbon. A moderate amount of makeup accentuated her face, but her freckles were still visible. When she reached the altar, she smiled at her groom, and he smiled back.

"Who gives this woman to be wed?" asked the priest.

"I do," said the proud papa. "Niels Larssen." He kissed Grace on the cheek and—quite reluctantly—let her go to join her husband-to-be.

"Take care of her," he beseeched his soon-to-be son-in-law.

"I will," Roland promised.

Thankfully, there were no objections or hiccups. The bride and groom exchanged traditional vows. Grace gave Roland her grandfather's ring, and Roland gave Grace his great-great grandmother's ring. The priest pronounced them man and wife, and the two shared a deep, hot kiss, to cheers from the congregation.

Grace changed into a cream-colored, knee length dress and more comfortable sandals, and off we went to the park for the reception. Her proud parents, along with Greg, Gadd and Becky, toasted the couple, and then Mr. and Mrs. Roland Butter shared their first dance. Finally, other couples joined them on the dance floor, while the rest of us told stories and nibbled on hors' d'eurves. At sunset, the newlyweds cut the cake and seductively fed each other forkfuls before serving up the rest of the pastry to the wedding guests.

Once the cake was eaten, we all lined up and showered the pair with confetti and Silly String as they climbed into a limousine. We cheered as the limo whisked them off toward their honeymoon, catching a glimpse of them kissing in the backseat before the limo turned the corner.

If things go according to plan, Grace and Roland will return from their honeymoon in October or November. They plan to send a postcard once they're settled into their honeymoon suite.

Once it had gotten completely dark, my bro and I helped clean up before catching a ride to our hotel, where we stayed in adjoining rooms.

Luigi

5 November 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

I met the Butters at the train depot as they returned from their honeymoon. And as soon as they stepped off the train, I knew that something was different about them. Grace was glowing! She'd allowed her hair to grow slightly past her shoulders, and the way she carried herself suggested newfound maturity. She and her husband were arm-in-arm, and I walked over to help them with their luggage.

"Welcome back," I said.

"Thanks, L," said Grace. "We kinda missed you." As she spoke, she put a hand over her belly.

"Any news from the MK?" asked Roland.

"Just the usual Koopa stuff," I said.

"I think he targets this place just for sport," said Grace.

"Or maybe he loves Peach that much," offered Roland.

"Maybe," muttered Grace, patting her belly.

"Love?" I asked. "He comes in, firing cannonballs and making a big show of military force. That's not love. That's obsession. Obsession and lust."

"Lust for her magic?" asked Roland. "Or lust for…?"

"Let's—get off that subject, shall we?" I broke in, turning green. "Did you two go on any adventures during your honeymoon?"

Grace beamed. "Well—you can say that we started a new adventure together," she said, her hand still on her belly.

"An adventure that will last a lifetime," added Roland, placing a hand over his wife's.

I gasped, hands flying to my mouth. "Oh, my—a little Butter is on the way?"

They nodded.

"We're about four months along," said Grace.

"Congratulations!" I said. "Boy or girl?"

"Tomorrow, we're gonna see the doctor to find out," said Roland.

"I'm so happy for you!" I gushed. "If you want—maybe I can help with the baby-proofing and stuff."

"We'll take all the help we can get," Roland told me.

"Do you—need a ride?" I asked them.

"We've already arranged transportation," said Grace, "but thank you for the offer."

"One last thing," I said. "Does Becky know? Does Gadd know?"

"As soon as we get unpacked, I'll tell them the good news," Grace promised me. "Take care, L."

"You, too," I said.

I kept to myself as I returned home and went about my day. But inside, I was bursting with joy. Grace was about to be a mom. I think she'll make an excellent parent!

Luigi

8 November 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

Please forgive me—I'm in a bit of a mood right now. Let me explain:

After weeks of preparation, the Power Tennis Tournament finally arrived! The action began early this morning, with my bro and I, along with Peach, Daisy, Wario, Waluigi, DK, Diddy, Yoshi, a Koopa Troopa, a Boo and a Shy Guy arriving at the tennis courts with rackets and tennis balls in hand. The matches started at 9a.m. sharp, with me facing off against Waluigi.

Yeah, we weren't even close to becoming friends. The two of us played an aggressive game, with me winning by one point. The rest of the tournament continued as planned, until it was almost noon. At that point, Mario and I were in an intense contest against Wario and Waluigi. I helped Mario score the winning point, nearly getting struck in the face in the process. Wario and Waluigi threw a little hissy-fit as Mario and I high-fived and congratulated each other. With our victory, the Wario Bros had been knocked out of competition.

During a break, I found out that the Wario Bros were none too happy about their elimination and took a black Sharpie to me and Mario's picture's on the bracket spread; they were chased away by security. I just rolled my eyes and thought nothing of it. Looking towards the stands, I saw the Merricks and the Spellmans, chowing down on concession food, chatting up Roland and Grace. My gaze lingered over the scene until it was time for the tournament to resume.

Up next, it was me and my bro against Yoshi and DK. Except the screen then changed to show the Wario Bros, back in competition! The arena was plunged into confusion, and then Koopa arrived on a blimp made to resemble one of his airships, with Wario and Waluigi in tow. Peach frowned lightly in disapproval, and everyone in the stands booed and hissed. Then, the Wario Bros attacked, firing Bob-ombs at us! Those two were actually trying to hurt us because we eliminated them! Koopa aided the duo by grabbing armfuls of Bob-ombs and flinging them in our direction. Bravely, Mario and I grabbed our tennis rackets and battled back, sending the harmful objects off-course where they'd cause no harm. Even our fellow players jumped in to help as the spectators cheered us on.

Then, Koopa sent a Bullet Bill at us, but Mario gave it a solid whack, sending it into the Wario Bros' mechanism. In the mad scramble to get it back, Wario fell atop Waluigi. The launcher then flipped upwards and fired a Bob-omb at Koopa's blimp. It detonated, and there we could see rows upon rows of Bob-ombs.

"This looks bad," I remarked.

Koopa lost control of his blimp and could only hang on as it soared toward the Wario Bros. I glimpsed security evacuating people from the stands before Mario and I hit the deck and braced for impact. The blimp encountered the stadium floor, the premises rocked by a huge explosion, destroying most of the arena. Miraculously, nobody was killed or seriously injured.

We had to pause the tournament to repair the arena, which only took about an hour. In a gesture of conciliation, Mario arranged for the Wario Bros to be allowed back into competition, and for Koopa and his son, BJ, to join them. That's Mario for you. Always kind and just and forgiving.

Due to the delay, the tournament went on later than projected. As always, the affair was divided into singles and doubles. The doubles were conducted first, and then the singles. I teamed with Mario in the doubles round, and our final match pitted us against our respective princesses. They gave us a good game, and after an action-packed eighteen minutes, we scored a close win over them. Peach and Daisy were great about it, offering each of us a peck on the cheek. And then Daisy gave me a big, wet one on the mouth. And then I took her in my arms, and we started making out until an official nicely asked us to tone it down for the young ones. So, we sneaked into the locker room, put up an "out of order" sign and got in a quick one during the transition into singles. And, well, since there were showers in the locker room…

Five minutes before the singles round began, Daisy and I emerged, nice and freshened up, making sure to take down the "out of order" sign. I took a deep breath and grabbed up a brand-new tennis racket. This was my chance to take the singles bracket by storm.

My first match was against Koopa Troopa. Then, I faced Waluigi (again) and Koopa. And my final opponent? Mario.

We stared each other down, smacking our rackets against our palms, before the contest began. And let me tell you—it was an exhausting, sweaty contest. I focused all of my angst, ire, envy and frustration on my racket, on my swing, and on the ball. But with every point I managed to score, Mario managed to score two. The spectators clung to the edges of their seats, watching in suspenseful silence, as Mario and I volleyed that tennis ball back and forth. Slowly, my greater jump height, reach and overall better athleticism began to overtake Mario's aggression and force. Sweat nearly blinded my vision and got into my nostrils and mouth, and I wound up taking off my shirt in the middle of the showdown, to murmurs of admiration. The wind blew lightly over my heated skin, but it did nothing to quell the fire inside me. I wanted to win. I wanted to win over Mario, on this tennis court, in front of God and everyone. Three years after rescuing Mario, the hubbub, sadly, had begun to die down. It was time I reminded them that Mario wouldn't even be here if not for me. Everyone was slowly forgetting about what I did, yet they all seemed to remember what Mario did and has done for nineteen years? SO UNFAIR!

Throwing the last of my strength into my swing, I finally scored the winning goal against Mario after twenty-five good minutes of play.

I raised my arms as the spectators around me cheered up a storm. They hadn't forgotten after all. They actually hadn't! How do I know? Well, one spectator cried out, "Hey, that's the ghost-hunter! Let's give him a hand!" And in that crowd, I also saw the seven people who'd never forget my actions three years ago, no matter what. The victory cooled my fire, and I slowly calmed down as people started chanting my name.

I did it. I took the singles bracket by storm.

But then—my victory celebration happened.

When I was presented with my trophy, I was so happy. For once in my life, everyone was genuinely cheering for me and calling me by my name. Not "Mario's little brother". Not "Green Mario". But my own, God-given name. Along with a standing ovation, no less! I was dancing and twirling about with my trophy, drinking in the cheers, reveling in the knowledge that whatever fan clubs I had out there were alive and well. Everything was great.

Until Mario showed up.

He marched onto the stage, applauding and half-heartedly congratulating me. I could tell that something was up by the tone of his voice. He was going on and on about how happy he was for me and saying things like "Whoo-hoo! Nice job! Way to go!", but there was just something—passive aggressive—in the way he said them. When Mario reached me, he gave me a "friendly" pat on the back—

And then—

I felt it—

Slight pressure and stinging on my right foot. So, I looked down—

And—

There—

Mario's shoe was firmly over my foot, grinding it into the dirt. He must've seen me wince, for he looked down, too, watching himself step on my foot. And there was this—strange look on his face.

I gave him a look of pure disbelief as he continued to press his shoe against my toes, intruding on my moment and outright spoiling it. He looked back up, still sporting that bemused expression, and gazed into my face.

And then he laughed.

He actually laughed.

My big bro—the very man I looked up to—who cares so god—m much about me, stepped on my foot because I beat him in a tennis match and thought it was hilarious.

Very mature, Mario.

Very f—ing mature.

A disquieting silence had fallen over the venue. Looking past Mario, I saw the Merricks, stunned looks on their faces, Jules and Jackie covering Jasmine's eyes. Jamie and Janice looked beside themselves. Grace had both hands clasped over her mouth as Roland tried to comfort her.

And a short distance from the stage, Daisy looked positively distraught.

I don't remember much after that. I remember that my trophy didn't look as appealing anymore, so I put it in my closet. Then, I turned up my music and just—danced.

Wow.

Just—wow.

I don't know what else to say. I think I'll just end this entry here.

Luigi

9 November 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

I still don't understand. I thought Mario was a better sportsman than this. In all of our previous sports tournaments, he didn't act up because I won. Why did he step on my foot in front of everybody? Why did he ruin my special moment? Why, why, why?

This morning, Mario offered me a perfunctory apology and told me that it had been an "accident". Yeah, sure. It didn't look like an accident, especially with the way he was laughing about it. But I didn't lash out. I just smiled at him and told him I accepted the apology before sending him on his way. Something looking like regret had flashed across his face, but he'd swiftly composed himself and left. Then, I cranked my music back up and spent the morning dancing off the rest of my roiling emotions before commencing my routine of taking plumbing jobs in the MK and New York.

After work was done for the day, my mood hadn't improved at all. On the contrary, it had worsened. When I walked into Josh and Julian's gym, the spin bikes were already cleaned and set up. Father and son even had my favorite locker ready for me. The minute he saw me, Josh grabbed his cell phone and opened it, but hesitated.

"It's okay," I said, a little tightly. "I may be upset, but I don't want him to worry about me."

"Luigi—Jules and I know what we saw yesterday," Josh said, his voice quietly angry. I don't think I'd ever seen him angry before. "You know what you saw. And I thought I could expect better from him."

"Josh," I sighed, whipping off my shirt and hopping onto a spin bike.

"I can't believe he did that to you," Jules joined in, that same calm anger in his voice. Like father, like son indeed. "And you know what gets me? My little girl saw it. Jackie and I tried to shield her from the worst of it, but she witnessed it all the same."

"Is Jas okay?" I asked.

"She's just—confused," said Jules. "Mom's pretty worked up about it. Jackie's p—ed. Your new friends, Grace and Roland, are pretty p—ed, too."

"Julian, we don't use that kind of talk," Josh said sternly.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just…"

"I know," Josh put an arm around his son. "I know."

"You braved your worst fears to save him, and this is how he thanks you?" Jules went on. "That's my thought process right now."

"So is mine," I said, plugging my earphones into my iPod and setting the music to shuffle.

"Mine, too," said Josh.

"Josh—call him," I said before facing forward and beginning to pedal.

It was a deeply therapeutic experience. My favorite tunes playing at just the right volume in my ears, from old favorites to the newest hits. The continuous motion of my legs. My eyes closing and my mind going blank as I worked myself harder and harder. Perspiration painted my face and slid down my neck and forked down my arms and back and the rest of my body. I breathed in and out in a sharp cadence, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Thirty minutes into my workout, my foul mood finally began to extinguish. I took a quick Gatorade break before resuming my pedaling for another thirty minutes, and on and on it went.

Finally, I just let go for forty-five minutes until I was dripping and sopping with sweat. And then I slid off, wiped down the bike and wiped my face and neck before resting on the bench.

"All right, L," said Josh. "I gave him a call. He knows you're okay."

"That's good to know," I said as I drained my sports drink.

"What are you gonna do?" asked Josh.

"I'm gonna do what I usually do to get this out of my system, and then I'm gonna cool off and hear him out," I said. "You told me yourself that I shouldn't let something like this tear us apart. Maybe it works both ways, too."

"But this isn't a misunderstanding," said Jules.

"Maybe it is," I said. "Maybe it was an accident, and I just let my imagination run off. When he decides to explain himself, I'll listen. I don't know if I'll forgive him right away, but I'll at least listen."

Father and son exchanged a look.

"Maybe you're right," Jules said finally. "Maybe we all just assumed the worst because of your—situation. But the fact remains that he laughed about it, and Jas saw some of it. He's supposed to be a positive role model for children, and here he was, acting like that! That gets under my skin more than anything."

"After I clear my head, I'm positive that my bro and I will get this sorted out," I said. "Just—don't do anything I wouldn't do, all right?"

"Very well," said Josh.

"You have my word," said Jules. "Good luck, L."

"Thanks," I said before taking my leave.

Back home, I played some more downtempo music as I fixed myself some dinner and poured a glass of wine. While I was eating, I received a call from Grace. She was as spirited as usual, and as Jules said, very fired up over the incident.

"L, you need to ditch that a—hole, and fast," she said. "A brother like that is only gonna bring you more pain!"

"I'm sure he didn't mean it," I said.

"Yeah—that's what they all say," said Grace. "I'm gonna catch the next flight out tomorrow, and I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind!"

Luckily, cooler heads prevailed. Stress would pose a greater risk to her bambino, after all. After Grace calmed down, we chatted about local matters before she hung up to get some sleep.

Minutes after Grace called, I had to talk down an audibly infuriated Daisy from possibly starting a war between Sarasaland and the MK. I explained that while I was rightfully upset at Mario, there were better ways to handle this situation. After cooling Daisy's rage somewhat, she offered to come over, but I politely turned her down. I needed to spend some time alone. Instead, we made some magic over the phone in a conversation which ended with me sprawled on my bed, flushed, sweaty and gasping for breath. Then, we wished each other good-night and ended the call before I took a shower and changed my linen.

I thought Mario would at least try to explain himself, but he didn't. Maybe I shouldn't push him, but I need answers. I need to know what made him think it was okay to step on my foot like that. I need to know if it really was an accident. There are so many things I need to know.

Guess I'll sleep on it.

Luigi

10 November 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

Mario woke me up bright and early with breakfast in bed. He's always known how to soften my edges. We made small talk as we ate, the two of us sharing mimosas and distractedly watching the morning news. Once we were finished eating, Mario's face turned solemn—and then he apologized. Sincerely, this time.

"I—I didn't know what I was thinking," he said. "I was trying so hard to be happy for you, but I guess I just got jealous. I've told myself that I have a reputation to uphold, as the MK's top dog, and by convincing myself of that, I've damaged my most important relationship—my relationship with you."

I smiled at him then, a big smile.

"Luigi, I—I don't know if you can forgive me. I saw the look on your face after I stepped on your foot. You haven't really spoken to me since. I know I hurt you and upset you, but just tell me how I can make this right."

"You can play the grateful game with me," I offered.

He frowned. "The what?"

"The grateful game. It's always helped me after we had a disagreement."

"Okeydokey. How do you play this—grateful game?"

"It's simple. You silently list the ways you're grateful for the person you had a fight with. And then you'll come to realize that whatever grudge you're holding over that person is—ludicrous. C'mon—let's play the grateful game together."

And so we did.

Both of us felt better when we finished.

"You and I are the only people standing between this kingdom and a power-hungry turtle," I said. "If some random misunderstanding tears us apart, then we put the lives of every Toad here at stake. We're brothers. We have to look out for each other."

"That sounds like something Josh would say," said Mario.

"Yes, because he's the one who said it," I said. It was a piece of advice I haven't forgotten, even after fourteen years.

"In that case, he's absolutely right," said Mario. "We're a team, and whether it's a sporting event, the Smash tournament or fighting him, we always get the job done because we work together. I love you, L."

"I love you, too, Bro," I said.

And then we hugged it out, as always, crying in each other's arms.

"Forgive me…" breathed Mario.

"I do, Mario," I said. "I do."

Later that day, I called Josh and made him promise not to rip Mario's head off the next time they met. The crisis was over, and the two of us had made up. Then, I told him to pass it along to the rest of his family and to secure the same promise from them. When Josh reluctantly agreed, I broke the news to Grace and also asked her not to raise the roof over it.

"For the baby's sake—I'll try," she said.

"Don't try," I said wisely. "Do."

"All right," she said.

We hung up, and then I told Daisy about Mario's apology before I spent the rest of the day as usual.

Fourteen years ago, Mario had told me that we have our own thing, and it works.

And that still rings true today.

Luigi

21 November 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

I'm so glad Mario and I had that talk over a week ago. I've grown less and less angry over it, even coming close to forgetting about it all together. I shouldn't be mulling over the bad things, after all. Just the good things.

I just got a letter from Peach. She's invited me, along with Mario, Wario, Roland and Grace, to her castle. I'll be back later to tell you how it went!

Luigi

2 December 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

Well, our tea date with Peach didn't go quite as expected. I haven't written to you lately because I was on an adventure, alongside Mario and everyone else Peach had invited, to thwart another of Koopa's plans to take over her castle!

When we arrived at the castle, all of us were ambushed by Koopa and his minions! We put up a good fight, but we were eventually overpowered and locked into rooms with mirrors on them. Koopa must've had it in for me today, because the mirrors in my room projected Boos floating around. Those Boos may not have been real, but I was so frazzled! So, I sat, cross-legged, on the floor, controlling my breathing, trying not to think about those Boos and their laughter. And I started thinking about the good times I've shared with Mario and my friends, and the good feelings those good times brought with them.

"You know, you've never told me what else happened to you in that mansion," I remembered saying to Mario not long ago.

"That's because you don't need those images in your head," Mario had replied, and we'd left it at that. Even after proving my mettle, Mario always wanted to look out for me.

Sitting there in that room, I smiled to myself. "He'll come," I told myself. "I know he will." Then, I took out my iPod and listened to some soft rock.

When I heard commotion, I knew that Mario had arrived. I listened in anticipation as Mario battled the boss guarding my room. I also heard Grace's voice shouting among the fray. My bro must've freed her on his way to free me! Then, she probably freed Roland before the two of them joined Mario…

The door opened, and Mario practically tackled me to the floor. "Luigi! Thank God you're all right!"

"Mario…" The calm gave way to full-bodied relief as we hugged wildly, the Butters smiling on.

"Where's Peach?" I asked once we'd both settled down.

"Koopa has her," said Mario. "Remember what he did back in '96? Well—he's trying it again, and this time, he's got all of us involved."

"Big mistake on his part," I said.

Mario helped me up, and I stretched my limbs and followed him and the Butters out of the room.

"Thanks for helping Grace," I told Mario.

Mario blushed. "Actually—that was all her," he confessed, "with a bit of help from Yoshi."

Grace nodded. "I was able to pick the lock and break out of my room," she explained. "I armed myself with a two-by-four and escaped to the roof, where I got Yoshi's attention, and then he gave me one of those Wing Cap thingies. I hitched a ride on his back, and we fought and defeated the first boss, earning the key to Mario's room. We met up with Roland in the castle's Main Hall. Turns out, he'd managed to pick his lock, too, and he was trying to find me."

"All that's left to do is to find Wario," said Roland. "He may not be a pleasant man, but we'll need his strength to fight Koopa."

I nodded. "Let's go."

So, the five of us went through the portraits in the castle, solving puzzles, racing penguins, swimming through oceans and rivers, fighting imposing bosses and collecting Stars. Gracie continued to show us that she was far from a damsel in distress. She'd escaped from her confines, fended off Koopa's minions with a two-by-four, climbed onto the roof, wore a Wing Cap, rode Yoshi and helped free Mario from his room. Now, she was knee-deep in a Mario adventure and enjoying every second of it. While four months pregnant. Anyone have a problem with that?

When we freed Wario, all we got was a mutter of "Thanks", and I bet he joined with us because he expected to be rewarded. But Roland was right. We needed Wario's might to get past certain obstacles, and he could send some bosses staggering. He did liven things up on our trek by telling some dirty jokes. But most of the time, we broke out our iPods, finding our music more entertaining than Wario's gross humor.

Koopa had the last Star, and we all confronted him on a bleak-looking stage. He blew fire at us, but we dealt with him in our own unique way. All six of us could easily hoist him by his tail and swing him, throwing him into the five mines surrounding the arena. On contact, each mine detonated, briefly stunning our foe and breaking off a section of the stage. Once all five mines had detonated, the stage was in the shape of a star. Koopa was on his shell, dazed, bemoaning the fact that three plumbers, a dinosaur, a "silly redhead" and a pregnant woman had gotten the best of him. He relinquished the final Star and vowed to return before disappearing.

Using our Wing Caps, we all flew back to Peach's Castle and used the last Star to restore its magic. We saw sparkles outside the stained glass window, and Peach's form slowly materialized, along with two Toads. Gently, they floated onto the ground, and we approached them, hats in hand.

Peach smiled at us. "Wow. The power of the Stars has been restored to my castle—and it's all thanks to you. Thank you all."

And then, she gave each of us a kiss on the cheek.

"You guys must be hungry after all of that," she said. "How about I bake a delicious cake—for my heroes?"

"May I help?" asked Grace.

"Sure."

So, we all wound up having that tea date, after all. Of course, after word of the adventure spread, the Toads only sang Mario's praises. Wario was upset that he didn't get any gold, and the Butters were okay with it. They told me that they were happy to help, and that at least they spent some quality time with their new friends.

"I almost forgot to tell you," said Grace. "It's a boy. We're having a baby boy!"

"We'll wait till later to decide on a name," said Roland, "but I think Gavin sounds like a good name."

"After the singer, Gavin Rossdale?" I queried. No Doubt was one of my newest favorite bands.

"Yes, that's—part of the reason," said Grace.

"Gavin is also the name of one the Piantas that raised me," explained Roland. "I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for him."

"And for his middle name, I'm thinking about Arthur," said Grace, "after the legendary King."

"Gavin Arthur. That's a name that rolls off the tongue," I mused.

All in a day's (or a few weeks') work. Time to get some rest!

Luigi

6 December 2004

MK

Dear Diary,

Four days after our latest adventure concluded, Peach hosted the sixth Mario Party, with Toadette as the newest guest. This year's theme was the relationship between the sun and the moon, and day and night. Our objective was to collect Stars via playing minigames in order to fill the Star Bank. Once the Star Bank was filled, we could help end the feud between the sun and the moon.

Each of the six boards had two sides, representing day and night. The boards, in order, were: Towering Treetop, E. Gadd's Garage, Faire Square, Snowflake Lake, Castaway Bay, and finally Clockwork Castle. After the sun and moon looked over our hard work, they agreed to squash their beef. The two were especially impressed to see that I collected several stars by—you guessed it—doing absolutely nothing.

Perhaps the sun and moon should meet up with Josh…

Luigi

17 December 2004

Brooklyn, NY

Dear Diary,

As the snow fell and New Yorkers hustled and bustled to complete their last-minute holiday shopping, Mario and I stood on a train platform at Penn Station, bidding farewell to Pauline and Stanley. Their suitcases were packed, and the rest of their things were en route to their new home in a moving truck. Pauline wore the red coat she was clad in when we first met, and Stanley wore a gray coat with a blue scarf.

"Good luck," said Mario.

"We'll stay in touch," I added.

We shook hands, and then Pauline and Stanley boarded the train. Seconds later, Pauline dashed back onto the platform to give Mario a passionate goodbye kiss. I watched as Mario wrapped his hands around Pauline's waist and lifted her off the ground, returning the kiss.

"I'll never forget you," vowed Pauline, her eyes noticeably wet.

"Ditto," Mario said quietly.

"All aboard!" announced the conductor.

Giving us a final smile, Pauline turned and re-joined Stanley on the train as the attendants closed the doors. A few minutes later, the train sounded her horn and began her journey, slowly at first, and then gradually picking up speed. Mario and I waved until we could no longer see the train.

Once we were back in our apartment complex, Mario dissolved into tears. He sank onto the sofa, openly sobbing. I sat beside him and held him until he calmed down, and then he quietly thanked me.

"Will you be all right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Mario replied with a brave smile. "I have Peachy now."

He got to his feet. "I'd better get a jump on the day," he said. "See you later."

And then he left.

As I've said before, Mario's happy with Peach, but he'd never forget his first love. I guess it's finally sunk in that she's fully moved on with someone else.

Luigi

16 March 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

Mario and I couldn't make Jas's birthday party. Just days into the New Year, Koopa decided to throw a celebration of his own by grabbing Peach. So, while everyone else was putting away their holiday decorations for next year, Mario and I were journeying through eight worlds and fighting Koopa's generals.

As we approached Koopa's Castle, I called Jules and told him about the situation.

"Hey—don't feel bad," he said. "Peach's safety should be your top priority. Jas knows what you do, and she also knows that Koopa doesn't care about someone's birthday. You're really not missing anything, anyway. Jackie and I decided to throw a small affair at our house."

"After Mario and I rescue Peach, we'll send Jas a belated birthday present," I said.

"And we'll save a slice of cake for you," said Jules. "Now go get that Koopa!"

I hung up, nodded to Mario and burst through the castle doors to confront our nemesis. After a heated fight, we left him dazed but alive, and raced into Peach's room.

"Oh! That was fast," said Peach, quickly adjusting her dress and slipping on her shoes. "Thank you."

She kissed us on the nose, and her Toad retainers arrived to take us home, pop music blaring on their stereo.

Back in Peach's castle, while everyone was thanking Mario, I picked out a nice birthday card for Jas and mulled over a present suitable for an eight-year-old. Later still, Peach, Mario and I brainstormed together and eventually decided to give Jas a Star. She could hang it in her room, or take it along with her for luck. Carefully, we wrapped up the Star and sent it, along with the birthday card, to Julian and Jackie's address.

Dio, when will that turtle finally get the hint?!

Luigi

28 March 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

Peach felt awful over Mario and I missing Jasmine's eighth birthday party due to rescuing her. In order to make it up to us, she invited Jasmine, Julian, Jackie, Josh, Joan, Janice and Jamie to a special Mario Party! This Mario Party was a role-playing adventure set in the fictitious Shroom City, located in the unimaginatively-named Party World. Peach, Mario and I, along with Agnes, Oliver, Alec and a handful of Toad retainers, made up the dramatis personae for this adventure.

The "story" began with Jas, her parents and her grandparents arriving in Shroom City, with Oliver greeting them. Then, "Koopa" and a "Koopa Kid", actually Toad actors in suits, "fell" onto Oliver, scattering mini-games and items known as "Gaddgets" all over the city. After the two left, Oliver explained that this adventure's objective was to collect all of the mini-games and Gaddgets to restore peace to Party World. The Merricks and the Spellmans were encouraged to work together and seek out the MK's denizens for help.

Mario was the first person Jas and her family encountered, while I was the second, followed by Peach and Yoshi. While exploring various areas in Shroom City, we helped the Merricks and the Spellmans complete quests given to them by "citizens", which rewarded them with a mini-game or a Gaddget. Successful completion of these quests led us to a final showdown with "Koopa", where we used teamwork to defeat him and save Party World.

When the adventure was over, Jas and her family were rewarded with a reception at Peach's Castle, where we all wished Jas a happy belated birthday. She was all smiles when it was time for the Merricks and the Spellmans to return to Brooklyn.

"I've meant to tell you," said Julian. "Jackie and I found the perfect place for our MK-based gym. We're hammering out a rental agreement for the property as we speak."

"That's awesome," I said. "I can't wait to see what it looks like."

"See you round," said Jules.

"Yeah. See ya," I replied.

Can't you believe that Jules is about to go into business?

Luigi

3 April 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

I bring very good tidings! Grace and Roland's baby boy has arrived in this world! I was relaxing at the park when my phone rang; the proud papa was on the other end. He sounded so full of joy that he was about to explode. In the background, I could hear the baby's squeaks. He sounded pretty healthy.

According to Roland, Grace felt her first contractions at around 8a.m. They grew more intense and frequent at 10a.m., and at 12:15p.m., she was fully in labor. Roland rushed her to the hospital, and about an hour after she was admitted, out came Gavin Arthur Butter! Once the nurses cleaned the gunk off of him, the new parents saw that Gavin had his mom's hair color, but it was curly like his dad's.

"He's such a beautiful baby," sniffled Roland. "He cried right away, and the doctor assured us that he was perfect and healthy. The instant they put him on Grace's chest, he just snuggled into her. The two of them were skin-to-skin for ninety minutes. Oh, Luigi, we wish you could see him!"

"Are they allowing visitors yet?" I asked.

"Just family members for now. Besides, you won't get a good look at him now; his grandparents are here, smothering the little guy with kisses. Maybe after they leave, we'll see if we can get you in here."

"How's the new mom?"

"Resting. Bringing another life onto this planet is hard work!"

"I'll say," I said. "Congratulations, both of you."

"Thanks, Luigi."

I hung up, smiling.

I can't wait to meet the new arrival!

Luigi

23 April 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

The Butters brought little Gavin over to Peach's Castle to formally introduce him. Everyone present just melted at the sight of him. We couldn't make out his eye color yet, but he was leaning toward his mom's eye color. Just as Roland said, the boy had little curls of auburn hair on his head. Gavin wore a green onesie with Super Mushrooms all over it, and he was curious and alert, looking around at these new people. The parents allowed us to hold Gavin, and I had the honor of holding him first. I cradled him tenderly in my arms like I did with Jas eight years ago, watching as he flexed his fingers and kicked his little legs.

"Hey, Gavin," I said. "It's-a me, Luigi."

Gavin stared at me, as if to say, Ah, so this is the friend Mommy won't stop talking about. He gave me the beginnings of a smile—and then he hiccupped. I placed him over my shoulder and started patting him on the back to relieve the hiccups.

"I got it," said Roland, a bit quickly, holding his hands out.

Carefully, I placed Gavin into his dad's arms.

"Thanks, though," Roland went on, rubbing his son's back, giving me a side-eye as he did. And as everyone else took their turn holding Gavin, I was left wondering over that side-eye.

Best not think about it too much. Maybe it's just me. After all, Roland's just doing his job as a first-time dad.

That's all the big news for today. Good night!

Luigi

28 June 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

The more I think about it, the more I see it. Roland's attitude towards me is changing. When we first met, he was light-hearted, even friendly. But since Gavin's birth, he's been giving me looks. He's wary of letting me around his son. I have steady hands; it's not like I'm gonna drop him on his head. And it's not like I'm gonna hurt him, either. But I think about it even more, and I've come to the conclusion that this sudden shift in stance has nothing to do with his son. It has to do with his wife, and how close we are.

Well, we're quasi-colleagues, so what did he expect? Didn't Grace tell Roland about her line of work when they met on Isle Delfino? Since he stayed with her, he understood and agreed to take the risks involved with dating and later marrying a ghost-hunter, right? And let's not forget—it was Grace who helped me save Mario. Of course I'm gonna feel close to her for that. And another thing, I'm already seeing someone, and I don't plan on sabotaging my relationship with Daisy anytime soon. Roland has absolutely no reason to be suspicious around me.

But I tell myself, "It's just a phase; don't push it." I keep it to myself. I decide not to tell Grace about my concerns. She's so happy with him, and he treats her well. They're so in love. Today was their first anniversary, so they left Gavin in his grandparents' care and went to dinner at a posh restaurant. Then, they shared a dance and a few kisses, but they refrained from drinking any wine, knowing that they had to pick up Gavin later on.

So, of course Roland would have his guard up. He's a new dad, and on top of it, recently married. All he wants is to protect his family. I just don't see why he thinks they need protecting from me.

Luigi

29 August 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

After so many years on the golf course, the tennis court and the Smash battlefield, Super Mario has expanded his sports repertoire to include the baseball diamond! It was a beautiful midsummer day, and Mario had brought his old baseball equipment from New York. So, we called up some friends and met up at the baseball diamond near Toad Town. Mario and I were team captains, and we all took turns picking team members. Once we were nicely divvied up, it was time to play ball! Passersby noticed our little game and quietly snagged prime seats in the bleachers. Then, they pulled out their cell phones and started hollering to their friends. As a result, the stands filled up quickly, and they had to call in vendors to satiate everybody.

This wasn't an ordinary baseball game, though. Mario used his pyrokinesis to aid in his pitches, while I used the Green Fireball as my special pitch. I don't need to describe nine innings of baseball to demonstrate how AWESOME that was. We were finishing up the game when who else but Koopa charged onto the scene, challenging us to play against him. Two teams united into one big team, with Mario as the captain, against Koopa and his Koopa Troopas, Dry Bones, Shy Guys and Mushroom Defectors. The scene really had people's tongues wagging!

Ironically, it was my sliding around which won the game, stopping Koopa's team from scoring a home run and giving us the victory point. Koopa didn't throw a tantrum—he just huffed a little. I guess he was used to losing to Mario.

So, yes—we're playing baseball now. I hope this becomes just as frequent as the other sporting events!

Luigi

18 October 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

Today was the 20th anniversary of our first rescue of Peach. Just like in 1995, most, if not all, of the attention went to Mario. I didn't get a single mention in the Toads' speeches, and the actors in the reenactment forgot my name. The first person to alleviate this was Peach, who made it clear that I gave my all in that first fight against Koopa. And when Mario gave a speech of his own, I was the first person he thanked and acknowledged. He talked about the significant instances in that first adventure where my quick-thinking and cleverness got us out of a jam, and was also quick to mention that sixteen years after that adventure, his game would've been over had I not been there. He gently but firmly reminded the Toads that this was a celebration about me as it was a celebration about him.

Peach's cake for us was designed to look like World 1-1 of our first adventure, complete with blocks, Warp Pipes and the first castle. And written on it in frosting was "Thank You Mario Bros." Not "Thank You Mario", but "Thank You Mario Bros."

Progress comes in slow steps—

Luigi

24 October 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

I finally had a chance to truly show off my dancing prowess! An amateur dancing contest was held in Toad Town, and I was among the first to sign up. I arrived at 7a.m. to warm up and survey the competition. The spectators began mulling in at 8:15. The Merricks and the Spellmans arrived at 8:30, followed by the Butters at 8:45. Gavin had recently turned six months old, sporting a mop of bouncy auburn curls and his mom's violet eyes. His mom and dad were cooing at him, and then Grace lifted one of Gavin's hands to help him wave at me, causing a smile to break out on his face. As for Roland—I couldn't read his facial expression, but something told me that he didn't like what he was seeing.

At 8:55, I lined up along with the other dancers. A "friendly" nudge to the ribs told me that Waluigi was competing, too. But I ignored his teasing, as I always did. He wasn't worth making a scene over.

The emcee told us that the last dancer standing would face off against a secret dancer with MAD skills. I rolled my shoulders and took a deep breath. My attire for the occasion was very dance friendly, consisting of a green tank top and navy blue leggings, with brown sneakers and my usual peppermint-stripe socks. Waluigi, by contrast, was wearing his usual shirt and coveralls. I saw Wario out of the corner of his eye, cheering for his friend. But I wouldn't let him distract me.

Just after 9a.m., the first round started. Me against Waluigi. I thought Waluigi would take the opportunity to intimidate me by going first, but no. He decided to let me go first. In no time flat, he was wishing he hadn't. My music started, and my body began moving to the beat. I closed my eyes, tuned out Wario and let the song overtake me. I was doing incredible leaps and spins, amazing breakdance moves and gravity defying flips like a gymnast. I was winding my hips and twirling on the balls of my feet and swaying my arms as the spectators clapped to keep time. I finished with a flourish and a pose, and the throngs screamed in admiration. Waluigi stood there like a kid who had his candy bar taken away.

When his turn came, all he did was try to copy my moves and prance about. There were mutters and halfhearted cheers in response. But then, Waluigi started doing vulgar, upward pelvic thrusts and making a chopping motion toward his—regions—with his two hands. The crowd gasped in horror, the Butters covering Gavin's eyes while Jules and Jackie tried to do the same with Jas. The emcee stopped the music and penalized Waluigi for his choice of choreography. As Waluigi stomped off, the emcee took the audience's votes. I won by a landslide.

Refreshing myself with a glass of Kool-Aid, I could feel Waluigi glaring at me. Like it would change anything. I distracted myself by watching the other dancers duke it out, paying attention to each style. If I wanted to win, I needed to mix things up a little. Doing the same dance for each round would quickly cause me to lose favor.

The first round lasted about half an hour. Ten minutes elapsed before the start of the second round.

My next opponent was a young woman named Bea, clad in a pop-arty sports bra with matching leggings. She was chosen to go first, and I have to admit that I got a little nervous watching her perform her part ballet, part hip-hop routine. Bea was pretty good! But then, it was my turn, and I just thought to myself, Just do your best. And I managed to do just that without copying her, without stressing over which of us would receive the most votes. I didn't dance to win prizes—I danced to release. I wound up winning the vote by a slim margin, but Bea was better about it than Waluigi. The two of us talked heartily as the other dancers who'd advanced had their turn.

In the third and final round, I faced a dancer by the stage-name of Cortex. He, too, decided to take the first turn. His dance style was breathtaking—the emcee described him as a seasoned performer, and it showed! All of the girls in the audience fawned over him, and Cortex played it up. I bit my lip—this guy was giving me a lot of stuff to top! Then, I looked above him, at the audience, and saw him making his way into the stands and take a seat near the Butters.

Better late than never, I guess.

Mario looked straight at me, and I looked straight at him, and then he smiled and nodded. I knew exactly what he was telling me. Don't look at Cortex—look at him. And don't worry about Cortex—just dance the way I always dance.

Breathing deeply, I stepped forward and waited for my music to start. And it was a salsa track. I imagined myself back in my room with the lights off and the curtains open, letting the sunlight (or the moonlight) in, uncaring of any eyes that fell on me. And as my body began to move, I remembered why I danced, how much of a hot mess I'd be if I didn't have that pastime, how it calmed me down when I was angry or upset or frustrated—or when something was on my mind. And I was wound pretty d—n tight right now. And so I rocked my hips and wound my belly, the rest of my body swaying, spinning, undulating—catching myself before it got too much because this was a kid-friendly event. I stopped stressing out over Cortex and just danced, telling a story with movement as the spectators tried to decipher that story. I kept going, even as I felt the heat and sweat on my face, even as my top stuck to my body. And when I finished, the crowd was in silent awe, eyes sparkling.

When it came time to take the votes, there were liberal cheers for Cortex, but they gave me a standing ovation. I responded with a reserved smile and wave, and then the emcee motioned for quiet.

"We have now come to the final, FINAL round," the emcee announced, and then I heard a deep, familiar laugh.

Koopa arrived on the scene in his Clown Car. But he didn't have Peach with him—yet. What was his play here?

"Do you really think you can out-dance me, Green 'Stache?" he challenged.

"Do you?" I retorted.

"We'll see," smirked Koopa. "If you win, I won't go after Peach for a month. But if you lose, I'm heading straight to her castle, and you'll have to give me a month's head start." He laughed again.

"It's a deal," I said.

The emcee gave the first turn to Koopa, who broke into a full-on breakdance display. How could a hulking turtle be so limber? He even used his shell to perform more impressive stunts. Josh and his family were far from impressed, as were Mario and the Butters. However, everyone else in the stands was considering it—

"Beat that!" guffawed Koopa when he was finished.

I strode forward and took off my shirt to hums of approval from the audience. It was getting damp and stinky, anyway. As the first strains of "Pon de Replay" began blaring over the loudspeakers, I began to shimmy and swish my torso to and fro as I rolled my shoulders and kept perfect time with the beat. I gave that dance everything I've saved for the grand finale, mixing in some playful leaps and backflips and cartwheels, even spinning around balanced on one hand. I could feel all of my muscles at work, contracting, relaxing, flexing and rotating. I could also feel everyone's eyes on me. I had the whole house's attention. But I didn't allow myself to relax—that beat was calling, pulsing through the synapses in my body, and I was answering it. It was almost like that night in the Smash Lounge in 1999—all of those wonderful tunes playing and me feeling the energy of everyone around me as I danced until I barely had any breath in my lungs, only to keep dancing. There was that familiar parched feeling at the back of my throat, my lungs were aching, my heart was pumping and the perspiration was dripping, but I was still engaged with the beat and the simple raw need to just keep dancing—to let out whatever stress I was feeling at the moment.

The audience unanimously voted for me.

Instead of a trophy, a gold medal was draped around my neck, and the emcee raised my arm in victory. Koopa had a sullen look on his face, but he clapped along with the others.

The medal is now safely tucked into my drawer. Now, I'm perusing through this brand-new, video-uploading site called YouTube, and clips of the dance contest had already been posted. I spent a few minutes relaxing with some wine and watching my own performance at the contest. If another one rolls around, then will I sign up?

Maybe not. My dancing isn't for competition, it's an outlet.

Luigi

7 November 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

It was time for yet another Mario Party! This one involved a luxury cruise, with Koopa's invitation getting lost in the mail. To pay us back, Koopa and a sidekick known as Koopa Kid turned a relaxing getaway into a pandemonium-filled Hell-hole! In order to set things right, we had to conquer boards based on popular vacation destinations to reach Koopa's Castle for a final showdown! It was a school day, so only Josh, Joan, Jamie, Janice, Julian and Jackie could attend. Grace and Roland were invited, but they declined, as they needed to focus on raising Gavin. They'd reconsider once their son was school-aged. At least Agnes, Oliver and Alec were able to make it.

The boards we maneuvered were as follows: Grand Canal, Pagoda Peak, Pyramid Park, Neon Heights, Windmillville and finally, Koopa's Enchanted Inferno. Completing the final board won the game, and you know it wouldn't be a traditional Mario Party without me winning some of the minigames by doing absolutely nothing.

While we were eating finger foods, cake and ice-cream, Jules and Jackie told me more about the building that would become their gym. It used to be a children's fun center, but it closed down when business slowed. Their team was able to negotiate a reasonable renting price, and all that was left to do was to refurbish the building and move the equipment inside.

So, luck remains on their side.

Luigi

14 November 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

A week after our recent Mario Party, Peach organized a kart race! This race consisted of 8 cups and 32 courses, and Bloopers and Bullet Bills were now usable as items.

Up first was the Retro Grand Prix, consisting of the Shell, Banana, Leaf and Lightning Cups and featuring classic courses like Mario Circuit and Choco Island. The last half of the race was the Nitro Grand Prix, made up of the Mushroom, Flower, Star and Special Cups and featuring brand-new courses, like a replica of that mansion. The grand finale, of course, was Rainbow Road, a selection of euphoric EDM hits playing on my stereo as I jockeyed for position against the other racers, Cascada's "Bad Boy" sending me across the finish line in third place. It wasn't too bad.

This kart race drained me. Night-night!

Luigi

18 November 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

This is shaping up to be a busy month! The soccer field in Mushroom Park was the site of our first ever Strikers soccer tournament! This wasn't any old soccer match. There were no referees, we could use Power-Ups to help score goals, and rowdiness was generally encouraged, except for blatantly starting fights for no reason.

Mario and Co, along with a robot named Super Team, were team captains. Toads, Koopas, Hamer Bros and Birdos were the team sidekicks. Kritters acted as the goalies. Each team captain could perform a Super Strike, which could hit the soccer ball directly into the goal. My Super Strike was called the Vicious Vortex, in which I leaped into the air, a bright green vortex behind me as I fiercely kicked the ball into the goal. So powerful and fast was the shot that not even the best goalies could intercept it.

The Butters had to take Gavin to the doctor for a routine checkup, and he was tired and fussy afterwards, so they weren't able to make it. Good thing the event was televised! However, Josh and most of his folks (Jas had school) arrived at the arena before it even opened, allowing them to score a front row seat.

I won't tell you whose team won, but I'll tell you that things indeed got rowdy on the soccer field. There weren't major fights, thank goodness, and no blood was drawn. But blood DID boil, especially in my case. People have started describing me as "dark horse" when it comes to sports, and sports is the only area in which the Toads pay attention to me for once. Sports, to me, serves the same purpose as dance—as a release. I have no desire to go pro, because when will I have time to defend the MK? A relatively thankless job, but it has to be performed. And playing so hard in sports is the way I complain about this thanklessness. And in a sport as intense as soccer, it isn't that much of a bad thing.

But once I get that aggression out, I tend to get a bit exhausted. I'm definitely sleeping in tomorrow!

Luigi

29 December 2005

MK

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in so long. Mario and I just returned from an adventure which took us somewhere we've never been before—back in time!

Peach, for some reason, had decided to embark on some time-traveling adventure which took a nasty turn. An alien race called the Shroobs had invaded Past MK—guess who they made off with? Mario and I had to follow Peach into the past, where we learned that the time machine she used ran on the power of something called the Cobalt Star, which was now in fragments. We had to collect those fragments and reassemble the Cobalt Star to send us—and Peach—back to our own time.

But that wasn't the most important part. Oh, no. The part about this adventure that really stands out—we got to interact with our own past selves! Baby Mario and Baby Me were so cute—and could mix it up with the best of them. The two spent most of the adventure with us piggy-backing them, but they actually helped us at several points, most notably when we were ambushed and eventually knocked out after a protracted fight. That was the first time we met, by the way.

At some point in our venture, we met a slightly younger Gadd, who gifted us with a talking suitcase named Stuffwell to help us carry the shards. Stuffwell liked using big words, and when he couldn't think of any—well, he made them up.

So, we all collected the shards and pieced them back together to form the Cobalt Star. But wait! It was all a trick! The Princess of the Shroobs had led us along in a gambit to free her sister, the Elder Princess Shroob! Peach had sealed the malevolent royal in the Cobalt Star and then shattered it—which kinda explains why the Shroobs wanted her. No matter. Mario and I, joined by our baby selves, were able to kick their [bleeps] to kingdom come, along with the rest of the Shroobs, and get Peach back.

By the time we parted, there was this—admiration—in my baby self's eyes as he studied the handsome, skittish yet bold young man he'd become. Before we left, we shook hands, man-to-man, and he offered me his Hammer. How cute!

However…

There's one moment in particular which is forever imprinted into my memory.

The four of us came across the Star Gate, who had to test our "worthiness" before we could pass. Of course, Mario easily got through, as did our baby selves. Not so much for me, and that Star Gate actively encouraged them to leave me behind. They wouldn't have any of that, so the Star Gate told us that maybe I'd be worthy if I could reach a block called the Aurora Block. We easily brought it back to the Star Gate, who proceeded to ask me which one of us did the work. Every answer I gave was deemed wrong. And get this—the correct answer wasn't even among the choices the block gave me! Well, the Star Gate gave me plenty of grief about it, telling me that everyone contributed. When I rightfully told the Star Gate that "everyone" wasn't among the three proffered choices, it called me a liar. Unbelievable.

"D—mit!" I shouted, exploding in sobs. "God—mit!"

Then—something amazing happened.

Our baby selves started pounding on the Star Gate. And Mario—

Mario—

He marched right up to that f—ing Star Gate and told him just what he thought of it.

"Incredible," murmured the Star Gate after stoically listening through Mario's tirade. "All of you—you are truly—AMAZING." Smiling, it added, "You are the best siblings ever!"

My sobs began to subside as I heard those words.

"Come, green man of moustache, you need weep no more. Rise and face me."

I obliged.

Then, the Star Gate explained that its excoriating and castigating was merely a test to see how well we worked as a team.

"For the sake of your brother," it said to Mario, "you went in search of the Aurora Block. "You endured hardships and supported your sibling. Your feelings for your brother are genuine. What a grand older brother!"

I looked at Mario, a wave of happiness threatening to swamp me. Everything the Star Gate said was true. Mario was willing to take risks, break the rules, get his hands dirty—anything to keep me from harm's way. And in trying to look out for me, he'd employ methods that I wouldn't agree with, most notably leaving me out of his great adventures. And sometimes, I'd be so mired in that little fact that I'd forget—I'm a part of Mario, just as he's a part of me. We're inseparable. And I'd leap over numerous hurdles and jump into a pit of Boos to support him. Mario really is a grand big bro.

"I'm—quite moved," said the Star Gate. "Green man of moustache—for all that I've forced you to endure, forgive me. You see, I know the truth. Your heart is like a gemstone, multi-faceted and beautiful. I see how it sparkles."

A gemstone. That's an interesting comparison.

"There are places that need polishing, but you are vital to your companions," the Star Gate went on. "You must march bravely on—you have my undying support."

Bravely march on. I will. I swear to you, I will. For my bro. Do it for him.

"You may all pass. I will not hinder you. Now, green man of moustache—please strike the block with all of your newfound grace."

My heart swelled as I approached the Aurora Block and gave it a truly strident uppercut.

"Yes, a fine jump," said the Star Gate. "Oh, and by the way, the Aurora Block—it can alter it's shape to match the size of the heart of the one who strikes it."

Well, that's interesting—wait, WHAT?!

BOOM! A now giant-sized Aurora Block landed on top of me. Luckily, I emerged relatively unscathed.

But that's not the point. The point is that I saw the depth of Mario's love and loyalty in action. When he stood up to that Star Gate and defended me, I wanted to confess everything I've written in these pages—I was so grateful. The fights, the hidden frustration and annoyance, the trauma from that mansion—it didn't matter anymore. On that day, I glimpsed a great heart as well as a great hero. Twenty years of helping to protect the MK with barely any credit to my name had culminated in that one special moment.

And I shall cherish it forever and ever.

Luigi

31 December 2005

Peach's Castle, MK

Dear Diary,

Waiting for yet another year to close its book, my heart is overflowing with so many good feelings. First and foremost are the memories of our encounter with the Star Gate. The words it had said during my "test" had lowered my self-esteem, but Mario's passionate speech in my defense had brought it higher than the Empire State Building. No matter how powerful they are, who they are, or where they come from, my bro would never allow anyone to bully me. The Star Gate could've gotten angry and attacked him, and Mario knew it, but he spoke up, anyway. That, in my opinion, is truly being a hero. Fighting tyrants and courting princesses are only part of the trick. And in the following days, I revisited the incident at the Power Tennis tournament and realized that Mario wasn't being mean. He was just being playful. A strange kind of playful, but still playful. Now, thinking about it doesn't make me as upset as it used to. Scratch that, I'm not thinking about it at all anymore. Starting tonight.

So, in 2006, I resolve to be more open-minded regarding my bro. Heck, I resolve to be more open-minded regarding my newest friends, especially Roland. I don't know what they're thinking, but I can at least try to understand their thought processes. There's nothing productive about being all humdrum and assuming the worst about people. That doesn't make a good life, does it?

When something gets me worked up and ready to attack and throw punches, if Mario and I somehow get into another fight—whatever else happens in 2006 and in the years to come—

I'll just sit back—

Close my eyes—

Take a deep breath—

And focus on the good feelings.

Luigi