Chapter 17

Two months had passed since Subaru had returned with the restored former Sage's Apprentice Shaula.

Two months since she had been integrated into the Emilia Camp. Initially, everyone was shocked that a living legend was joining their camp. But throughout her time with the camp, the initial nerves had died down and they had accepted Shaula wholeheartedly.

Shaula was originally uncomfortable and uncertain about being with the camp.

But with time, she'd found happiness. And she loved every minute of it.

She had even allowed Meili to call her 'Naked onee-san' again.

Meili of course, was ecstatic.

Currently, the emerald-eyed brunette was tending to her duties in the kitchen, preparing lunch with the other maids.

While Otto was doing his job as the Emilia Camp's Minister of Internal Affairs.

Garfiel was hanging out with Meili.

Beatrice on the other hand was sitting at the table outside the mansion.

Subaru was in a position which would make anyone in the world extremely happy.

Emilia: "This is reeeeeally nice isn't it Subaru?"

Subaru was snapped out of his thoughts by Emilia.

Subaru: "Uh, yeah. It's really nice here Emilia-tan."

Emilia smiled.

Emilia: "I know we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together recently so I'm reeeeeally glad we got the chance to spend time together now."

Emilia had a day off from the Royal Selection so she had asked Subaru on a picnic.

Now the two were sitting on a blanket on the hill outside of Costuul.

It was peaceful and quiet and Emilia felt happy she finally got to spend some time with her knight. She felt warm inside when she thought about him. But she couldn't understand what it was that she was feeling.

Subaru on the other hand was staring off into the distance as he let out a sigh.

Subaru was happy that Emilia wanted to spend time with him and that she had asked him on a date.

But for some strange reason, he felt...

Empty

He thought he was happy that he'd finally got to spend some time with Emilia and that she had asked him on a date.

But for some reason, he felt...uninterested.

Subaru shook his head, remembering his date with Anne two months ago.

"No idiot! Your heart only belongs to Emilia-tan! You tried talking to other girls and look what happened!"

Emilia: "Subaru? Are you okay?"

Subaru was snapped out of his thoughts by Emilia tapping him on the shoulder.

Subaru smiled, waving his hands reassuringly.

Subaru: "I-it's nothing Emilia-tan. Just daydreaming a bit."

Emilia smiled.

Emilia: "That's okay. I'm glad we got to spend some time together Subaru."

Emilia smiled, clasping her hands together in front of her chest.

Emilia's face reddened slightly which she was embarrassed about initially, but she saw Subaru staring off into the distance, clearly not noticing the embarrassing reaction she'd had.

Subaru made Emilia feel warm and happy inside but she had no idea why. But he'd promised he'd wait for her. So she'd make sure she understood how she was feeling so she could give him the best answer she could.

Subaru was wandering around the mansion hallways.

He didn't know why he was feeling this way.

Emilia had asked him on a date today and he had gone with her. He loved Emilia, and he would have been extremely happy spending the day with her.

But he didn't feel joy. Instead, he felt...disinterest.

Subaru shook his head and slapped his cheeks.

No idiot! You're just tired. Nothing has changed about your feelings for Emilia-tan. Your heart still belongs to her and only her!

Subaru let out a depressed sigh. Although he told himself that, he felt uncertain for some reason.

Rem: "Hello Subaru."

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Rem, who was just finishing up her duties for the day.

Subaru smiled

Subaru: "Oh hey Rem"

Rem smiled.

Rem: "I just came to see you. I haven't seen you all day."

Subaru smiled and laughed.

Subaru: "Well, I guess I was so distracted by Emilia-tan's company that it must have slipped my mind."

Rem frowned.

She saw Subaru smiling at her but she could tell something was off.

His eyes were empty. The light she once saw when they had finally returned from Vollachia had vanished.

Subaru: "Hey uh...Rem"

Rem was snapped out of her thoughts by Subaru asking her a question.

Subaru: "I was going to go for a stroll around the flower field if you'd like to join me."

Rem's face changed from concerned to uncertain.

Rem: "I'm sorry but still have duties to attend to."

Subaru waved his hands reassuringly.

Subaru: "No I meant later tonight. Of course, you can finish your job."

Subaru looked out the window in slight embarrassment

Subaru: "No...sorry...it was stupid. I'll just go."

Subaru turned around to leave Rem to her duties.

Rem: "No. It's fine."

Subaru turned around, surprised

Rem: "I suppose I could join you for a midnight stroll once my work is done."

Rem smiled

Subaru smiled, casting his eyes downwards.

Subaru: "Thanks Rem. I'll see you later tonight."

Rem: "I'll see you later."

Subaru was on his way to Shaula's room, carrying three books in his arm.

After what felt like an eternity of walking he finally arrived at Shaula's room.

He was about to knock on the door, until the door to the room to the left of Shaula's opened.

There stood the blue-haired assassin girl who had a blank look on her face.

Subaru: "Hey Meili. What's up?"

Meili: "Hey Onii-san. Do you have a mome~nt? I wanna talk to you for a bi~t."

Subaru smiled, patting Meili on the head.

Subaru: "Okay. I guess I can spare a few minutes before I go to my lesson."

Meili gestured her hand to come into her room and Subaru followed and Meili closed the door behind him.

Subaru turned around to look at the blue-haired assassin.

Subaru: "So what is it you wanted to talk about?"

Meili sighed. She had no idea how to frame her sentence, so she just came out and said what was on her mind.

Meili: "There's something up with Naked onee-san."

Subaru: "How do you mean?"

Meili groaned in frustration.

Meili: "Haven't you noti~ced?"

Subaru shook his head, making Meili sigh.

Meili: "Do you remember me telling you about how my divine protection didn't work on naked onee-san when I first used it on he~r?"

Subaru: "Yes?"

Meili: "Well, nothing has cha~nged. For some reason, my divine protection doesn't work on he~r."

Meili's words put Subaru into thought. He did have thoughts about what was going on with Shaula. But he had ignored it because he was happy she was back.

Meili: "And her e~yes. She used to have those three red dots in the~re, but they're not there anymo~re."

Subaru remembered back to when he met Shaula in the Watchtower.

Aside from her eye-catching physique and her dark brown hair, she had emerald green eyes, with those three red dots he remembered seeing as well.

But when he saw Shaula now...

Meili: "And she hasn't said anything about your sme~ll. Considering what naked onee-san is, don't you think it's weird she hasn't said anything about your sce~nt?"

That sentence resonated with Subaru. And he realised that Meili was right.

He hadn't seen it but there was something weird about Shaula.

Aside from her amnesia, he'd remembered when Shaula tended to him when he was sick.

He looked into her eyes, and remembered...the red dots she had in her eyes back in the Watchtower, were no longer present once she had returned.

And she hadn't said anything about his smell. As a mabeast, Shaula should be able to smell that and she would have brought it up if she had noticed.

?: "Subaru? Meili-chan? Are you guys okay?"

Subaru and Meili were snapped out of their thoughts by a knock at the door and a voice calling out to them.

Meili: "Hold on naked onee-san! I'll be right the~re!"

Meili walked over and opened the door to reveal the brown-haired scorpion.

Shaula: "What were you two talking about?"

Meili beamed a big smile.

Meili: "Oh it was no~thing. Onii-san and I were just playing a game before he went to your lesso~n."

Subaru knew what Meili was trying to do and went along with it.

Subaru: "Yeah, that's it. We were just playing a game. Don't worry about it."

Subaru reassured Shaula and with that, he parted ways with Meili and went to Shaula's room to have their lesson.

Subaru was standing outside the mansion gardens, patiently waiting for Rem to arrive. But after about 30 minutes of waiting, he decided that she wasn't going to come.

He was about to go in, feeling disappointed until he saw the blue-haired oni walking up to him.

Rem: "Sorry I'm late. Shall we?"

Rem smiled at Subaru.

Subaru: "Sure."

Subaru and Rem made their way through the beautiful gardens of the mansion. It was peaceful and smelled lovely from the scents of the various flowers.

Subaru: "Really? That old?"

Rem: "Indeed. We went back to the vendor in Costuul and he said he'd made a mistake and didn't mean to give us spoiled food. So he gave us a full refund."

Subaru: "Seriously? A full refund? How much did they cost?"

Rem: "About 10 silver coins per lobster."

Subaru: "And there were about 20 lobsters in total right?"

Rem nodded.

Subaru and Rem laughed at the story. Subaru had felt awful after two days of being bedridden. But after getting all the rotten food out of his system and getting some rest, he felt a lot better and was a lot happier.

The two continued through the flower garden, walking through a passage filled with roses.

Subaru: "But seriously though, an egg poached in wine? Who came up with that idea?!"

Rem laughed.

Rem: "Indeed. I was a bit sceptical about it at first but it turned out surprisingly good.

Subaru: "Yeah. Shaula's a really amazing and creative person isn't she?"

Rem: "Indeed. She is."

The black-haired knight and the blue-haired oni continued through the flower garden until they came to the best part of the garden.

The view of the hills with various other flowers. Yellow, white and magenta, creating a beautiful landscape.

Made even more beautiful by the moonlight.

Subaru: "Hey Rem."

Rem turned to look at Subaru.

Rem: "What is it, Subaru?"

Subaru: "There's...something I need to tell you."

Subaru sighed as the wind blew gently past.

Subaru: "Rem. I lo-"

Rem: "Stop"

Rem interrupted Subaru before he could finish the words she knew he was going to say

Rem: "I'm sorry Subaru, but I cannot accept what you're about to say."

Subaru: "Rem I-"

Rem: "While I do agree, it is wise to put your appas in multiple baskets, I can tell you're not interested in this blue basket are you?"

Subaru was surprised by what Rem had said.

Subaru: "How do you-?"

Rem smiled.

Rem: "I overheard your conversation with Wilhelm-san that day."

Subaru upon hearing that blushed profusely. She heard them talking?!

Subaru: "U-uh, listen Rem. I-it wasn't what you think. I-"

Rem held up a hand and continued to speak. Her cheeks were slightly red.

Rem: "It's fine. I'm flattered that you would be open to being in a romance with me Subaru."

Rem lifted her head to look at Subaru.

Rem: "Truly I am. I'm sure you'd be a wonderful romantic partner. Kind, selfless, faithful. But I cannot accept your offer."

Subaru: "I understand. I love Emilia-tan so it's pretty scummy to try and lead you on like-"

Rem: "No. You don't."

Rem interrupted Subaru, holding a hand up to silence him.

Rem: "Not entirely anyway. If you had let me finish, you'd fully understand what I meant."

Subaru nodded and stayed silent, allowing the blue-haired Oni to finish.

Rem: "Tell me. When you told Emilia-sama you loved her and said you would give her time to understand her feelings, how long did you think it would take for her to give you an answer?"

Subaru flinched at that question. That question brought up a feeling of guilt which he didn't feel comfortable with.

Rem: "Don't hold back on my account Subaru."

Subaru looked up at Rem who stood in front of him patiently waiting for an answer.

Rem: "Just answer honestly. How long did you expect to wait for Emilia-sama?"

Subaru took a deep breath, saying what was on his mind.

Subaru: "A couple of months. Three at most."

Subaru cast his gaze down, not wanting to look Rem in the eye.

Subaru: "I know. That's such a scummy thing to think. To think that I'd have to wait such a short time. It's so selfish of me to expect Emilia to give me an answer within that short a time."

Rem: "That's a perfectly reasonable time frame."

Subaru looked up in shock at what Rem had said.

Rem: "Two or three months is more than enough time to determine whether you love someone or not."

Subaru: "Rem I..."

Rem: "And it's only natural that after being strung along and receiving nothing for all this time, you've lost interest in her and myself. And taken interest in...another."

Subaru flinched, his cheeks heating up slightly.

Rem: "I didn't see it when we were in Vollachia, but now that I look back, the way you used to look at Emilia-sama, and the way you look at that person, was the same way you used to look at me back then."

Rem closed her eyes and gave a small smile.

Rem: "So I cannot enter a romance with you because I know that even if I'm happy with you, you won't be. And no matter how much we spend time together as a couple, you'll spend all that time thinking about her."

Subaru blushed, looking down.

Rem: "I've seen the way you look at her. Ever since we returned from Crusch-sama's estate. Your cheeks turn red whenever you talk to her. Your eyes brighten up when you see her."

Rem: "And am I right in assuming that whenever you're feeling sad, thinking about her makes you feel better?"

Subaru's blush grew more and more as she came onto his mind and-

No! Your heart only belongs to...to...

Rem: "That's why I can't accept your confession. Because I know that you don't feel the same for me...as you do for her."

She was on Subaru's mind. Her hair, eyes, beautiful face. The times he spent with her, the lessons he'd given, and the time she punched Anne. When she had defended him from Emilia. His face heated up more as he touched his cheek, after their first lesson.

Rem: "And because you fear hurting Emilia-sama, you always suppress your thoughts of her. But I'm sure that only makes you think about her more right?"

Subaru had his eyes closed and wasn't looking at Rem. He...he saw it now. The truth he'd been denying for so long. The truth he'd been too afraid to accept.

Your heart belongs to her.

Subaru felt his chest heat up more and more as he opened his heart to his true feelings he'd been ignoring for so long.

Rem: "I do wish for you to be happy Subaru. You're my friend. Which is why I won't accept your offer. So just ask yourself what feels right, and then pursue it."

There was a brief moment of silence between the two

Subaru: "Hey Rem."

Rem perked up.

Rem: "Yes?"

Subaru opened his eyes, which were full of light and joy.

Subaru: "I...I love Shaula"

Rem closed her eyes.

Rem: "I know."

Subaru: "She's kind, smart and be-"

Rem: "Subaru"

Rem held her hand up to stop Subaru from speaking.

Rem: "Don't tell me what's on your mind about Shaula-san."

Rem smiled.

Rem: "Tell her."

Subaru was caught off guard slightly by Rem stopping him from talking. But once she said 'tell her', he immediately understood what she was implying. So he stopped.

Subaru: "Sure thing. And thanks, Rem. Sorry, I got a little...uh."

Rem: "It's fine. But just a word of advice."

Rem placed a hand on his shoulder.

Rem: "Don't force yourself to do things you don't feel comfortable doing."

Subaru blushed slightly.

Subaru: "Sure. Thanks Rem"

The two started walking back to the mansion from where they had gone together.

Subaru: "Hey Rem. I know it's selfish of me to ask this but...you think you could keep this whole Shaula thing a secret? It's just..."

Rem: "Of course. Frederica-san told me how when she and Otto-san came out about their relationship, they got a lot of excessive praise and questions about their relationship."

Subaru: "Yeah, Garfiel said the same thing."

Subaru remembered when he had finally returned from Vollachia how Otto and Frederica came out to the camp about their relationship and everyone started swarming them.

Garfiel and Ram teased them relentlessly. It's died down but they do still poke fun at times.

Petra got a little overexcited about it but was ultimately happy for Frederica.

And apparently, Emilia had asked A LOT of questions. He didn't know the specifics, but apparently, she'd spied on Garfiel and Mimi when they went out on a date once.

Subaru: "If Shaula and I do end up together, I wouldn't feel right putting that kind of pressure on her."

Rem: "I understand. But just so you know."

Rem then placed a hand on his shoulder.

Rem: "Whether you're with Emilia-sama, Shaula-san or with any other woman in the world."

Rem smiled.

Rem: "Nothing will change between us. You're my friend and I'm proud of it."

Subaru smiled.

Subaru: "I love Shaula. I know that now."

Memories of the time he spent with Shaula flashed in his mind. From first meeting her at the Watchtower, to grieving when she reverted into a scorpion.

Bringing her back, punching that Lord's daughter, defending him from Emilia, and all the lessons they'd had together.

Subaru: "In fact, I...always knew it. I was just afraid of being disloyal to Emilia."

Subaru looked up and smiled, the light in his eyes that had been gone for so long had finally returned.

Subaru: "But this isn't disloyalty. And I'm not afraid anymore Rem. I love Shaula, with all my heart. And I'm going to tell her how I feel about her."

Subaru was certain now.

He loved Shaula.

With all his heart.

And he would make sure she knew how he felt about her.

Subaru and Rem made their way back to the mansion together, laughing about what had happened.

Subaru had been feeling down lately, but Rem had given him a sense of clarity he didn't know he needed until he got it.

Subaru: "Thanks for your help, Rem. I know what I need to do now."

Subaru's expression had changed from its miserable empty-eyed and unhappy, to joyful, with a light in his eyes Rem hadn't seen for a long time.

Rem smiled, seeing her friend finally giving a natural smile she hadn't seen for a long time.

However, when she and Subaru had gone their separate ways and went back to her room, she felt a great pain arise in her chest, as if she'd been stabbed.

Tears started flowing down her face and she couldn't hold them back.

Rem: "W-why? Why am I...? Why do I...?"

Rem had no idea why she was feeling this way, but she just couldn't stop herself from feeling this way.

Rem fell to her knees, her cheeks red and her eyes watering, her hands covering her mouth.

Rem: "Why do I feel this way? Why is this...?"

The poor blue-haired oni cried herself to sleep.