Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Author notes:

Merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy the chapter. More will come in the future. Just had a huge amount of work in the past few months. Thanks for staying tuned and thanks for all the feedback. I read all the reviews so far and I appreciate the constructive criticism.

Also, shout out to NY Department of Environmental conservation for their informative article on where to fish in rivers and streams (once you read the chapter, you'll understand what I mean).

Normal Text

'Person thinking'

"Person talking"

"Jinchuriki talking inside his head with Bijuu"

'Bijuu thinking'

"Bijuu talking"

"Bijuu talking inside jinchurki's head"

Chapter 30 – In the shadow of the flame

After Hinata left him, Naruto set out to take care of another matter that troubled his mind all day long. Thus, he found himself at the door of the Hokage's office. Having knocked a few times, he was invited in.

"Ah, Naruto-kun, how glad I am to see you. Please take a seat on the couch" Replied the old Hokage smiling.

"Hi, jiji." Replied Naruto, with a heavier smile of his own. The clouded nature of Naruto's demeanor did not escape Hiruzen.

After the young jinchuriki made himself comfortable on the sofa, the hokage initiated the conversation.

"First off, I'd like to let you know that myself and all the other clan heads were impressed with your progress and performance during yesterday's events, as well as the entire investigation. I would not be surprised if more members of each clan will start to see you in a more favorable light now."

"Thanks!"

"You've earned it. Also, as promised, I made sure to process the S rank mission payment to your account. That said, in the account information, it will appear as a transfer from the Uchiha clan to you, as a reward for protecting Sasuke against his would-be captors. Fugaku and I decided this was the best call, in order to keep your involvement in the actual investigation less known and thus, ensure that your emotion sensing ability is not so easily discovered. As of right now, aside from the people directly involved in the investigation efforts against Danzo, only Sasuke, the clan heads and council elders are aware of what you are truly capable."

"And Hyuga Hinata, hehe." Replied Naruto, visibly upset with himself.

"Hoh? How so?"

"She saw me yesterday when I saved Sasuke. I figured it would be better to talk to her, so she won't hear about me from other people who probably don't even like me."

"I suppose that was inevitable. Do you suspect any of the other children in your class to know about your status?"

"No. She was the only one. And Sasuke's been quiet about the whole thing."

"I believe Fugaku made sure to convince Sasuke about keeping such details to himself."

"Yeah, probably…"

"Naruto-kun, don't be so hard on yourself. Sooner or later, they would have found out about your abilities. Certainly, we would all have liked to keep the information about them a secret a while longer, but things don't always go our way."

"Yeah… I think Kiba suspects something too. He's been acting weird around me during lunch breaks, asking questions. I'm probably gonna talk to him too, for the same reasons I talked about it with Hinata."

"Hmm… It likely is for the best. That aside, I have a feeling this is not just a courtesy visit, am I correct?"

"No, it's not. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Well, how about we take this outside? I was actually going to stop by and pick you up for a short fishing trip just outside the village in an hour or two."

"Really?!" Naruto's voice conveyed that he was equally surprised and excited by the idea.

"Yes." Replied a smiling Hiruzen.

"Cool! Let's go, old man!" at this point the young blonde was jumping in excitement.

"Now now, save that energy for when we get to our destination."

"Right!"

The old hokage rose up from his seat and took Naruto by his hand. As they walked out, Hiruzen stopped by a slightly surprised Sumire.

"Sumire-san, I will be out of office for the rest of the day. Should any emergency occur, I will be by the river on the west side of the village, close to the northwestern outpost."

"Understood, hokage-sama. Have a great rest of the day."

"Thank you, Sumire-san. You as well."

On their way to their intended location, the hokage and his young companion talked about a great many little things just to pass the time. Both knew that whatever they really had to discuss required a bit more privacy than could be found in the middle of a shinobi village, so they were fine with small talk for the time being.

As they walked, Hiruzen assessed how people looked towards them. He sighed defeatedly as he realized that now the villagers were actually a bit more afraid of Naruto than before, though some did show looks of admiration rather than fear.

That said, he also noticed that Naruto was very much contemplative himself. Sensing his troubled state, the hokage decided to cut the trip short and, once they made a small corner where no one could see them, he simply flickered with the boy in tow.

A few flickers later, Naruto found himself in the middle of a dense forest, sliced in the middle by an incredibly clear river, winding its way like a giant sea serpent. So clear the water was, that he could see the fish swimming up and down stream seemingly unaware of their new observer. The boy stood there, fascinated by the sight in front of him. The way the water flowed, in quick but perfectly timed waves, the sound of splashes against stone, accompanied by the flowing dance of the spring breeze that pushed its way through the dense forest, it felt like all of life was in perfect balance. A balance he wanted to bask in for as long as possible. A hand gently placed on his right shoulder reminded him that he was not alone. His eyes then met the smiling figure of the old hokage.

"A beautiful little place, isn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"I used to come here many times in the past, when I needed to clear my head."

"You don't come here anymore?"

"I still do, just not as often as I'd like."

"Oh…"

"Come, let me show you how to fish with a pole spear."

"Right!"

The pair took a few steps away from the river, where the hokage knelt and pulled a storage scroll from within his robe. Idly, Naruto realized he never noticed when the old man snuck that thing there, which in his eyes just made the old man even more impressive.

Sarutobi unfurled the scroll, touched the sealing array, and with a small 'poof' two kunai, two sticks, some flint and some spices appeared in front of them. One of the sticks was about 8ft long while the other was just around 5ft, matching the relative heights of their would-be users.

"You take the short one. Notice that they are rather straight, so, if you ever find yourself in the wild, look for sticks that are sturdy and as straight as you can find them. Dry sticks are better than fresh ones, since they're lighter, making them easier to use. Now we must sharpen them. You take one kunai, and I will take the other. Be careful how you use this one because it's the real deal. It's not blunted like the practice kunai I gifted you a while back."

"Right!"

The two proceeded to sharpen the sticks into proper pole spears, with the old man giving instructions here and there on how to efficiently sharpen the stick without breaking it or sharpening it too much in one direction. Hiruzen was pleased to see that, in spite of a hiccup here and there, the boy seemed to follow instructions rather well.

"Good, now for the hard part." The old man rose from where they sharpened the pole spears and made his way to the edge of the river. With a wave of his hand, he made a sign for Naruto to join him.

"The best place to find fish is on outside bends. When the river or stream curves, the faster water moves to the outside of the bend. Fish look for food in these bends because the faster water also carries the food. Sometimes the outside of the bend also contains a rock or fallen tree. This slows down the food-carrying water and provides shelter, making it an even better place to catch fish. Do you understand?"

"I think so." Responded Naruto contemplatively.

"Good. Now, see how they're bunched together? What we do now is pick a target and thrust the tip of the spear to the body of the fish as quickly as possible. Observe."

Hiruzen picked the spear in both hands, aimed at one of the fish in the bend and, with one quick thrust, pierced the fish. "Notice that I aimed just behind the gills. That is where their heart is. In doing so, I killed it instantly, causing it as little pain as possible. Now, Naruto-kun, your turn."

"R-right." 'Kill…' thought the boy in apprehension. Naruto grabbed the pole spear like he saw the old man doing and chose a target. He waited for the right time to strike. He aimed. He thrust. At the last second, he hesitated. The spear hit its mark, but not all the way through. The fish escaped its target and swam downstream in fear, blood reddening the previously clear river, much to the boy's horror.

Shocked, Naruto took a couple of steps back, in a panic and fell on his butt, breathing heavily. Hiruzen went to him quickly and knelt to the boy's eye level to check on his state.

"Naruto-kun, are you alright?"

"I-I…" his eyes shifted to the old man as he continued, still shaken "I felt its fear and pain on contact. I couldn't go through with it."

"You had your sensing ability active?" asked Hiruzen gently.

"Y-Yeah, wanted to make sure we can talk with no one listening."

"I see."

"The river. It was so clear and then, when I hurt the fish, it turned all red… and now the fish will die because of me!"

"Naruto. It's ok." Responded Hiruzen, hugging the young boy. "It's going to be ok."

"No, it's not…" responded a sobbing Naruto, who was now steadily hugging the old hokage tighter as he cried. Once he calmed himself, Hiruzen broke the silence once more.

"This isn't just about the fish, is it?"

"The fear and desperation that fish felt… it felt a lot like what I felt from some of the people in the Red Lights during the night and some of the people that were killed during the attack a couple of days ago. When I first felt that kind of pain, I almost couldn't bear it. Kurama and Anbu-niisan helped me back then. This time, I don't know… it's like it all came back at once and when I felt that fish, it's like I felt all of them, all over again…"

'So, there is some trauma then. I suppose it was inevitable. Thinking that just a little talk with Itachi would do the trick in helping him cope was wishful thinking after all. He is still young and very much impressionable. But Danzo's approach of negating emotions is not the way either. Hmm, what to do…' Thought Hiruzen despondently. After a while, the old man found his resolve and sat down next to Naruto, who was now staring blankly at the blood-soaked pole spear.

"Naruto-kun. What did you feel when you experienced that fish's emotion?"

"Huh?"

"Can you think back to the moment you felt the way the fish hurt? What did you feel?"

"Hmm… I felt like a bad person. Like those people who used those other people in the brothels. I was afraid I'd become like them if I killed the fish. That I'd become… a monster. I got scared and wanted to let it live."

"I see. Did you know, Naruto-kun, that plants are just as alive as us or that fish? They're alive too, you know, the tree and the flowers and the greenery that covers the earth."

"They are?"

"Yes. But you can't hear them scream when in pain when you cut the blade of grass or the tree trunk, can you?"

"No."

"And yet, they live."

"Huh…"

"Tell me, Naruto-kun, do you think it would make us humans better if we stopped eating in order to let all other creatures live in peace? All food is alive after all."

"Umm, I think so?"

"But we would die without food."

"Well, maybe the world would be better without us."

"What about the wolf, the hawk, and the cat?"

"Well, maybe the world is better without them too."

"Ah, but you see, if the wolf stopped eating, all manner of diseases would spread across the earth, because they eat the bodies of dead animals in the forests and thus keep it clean. If hawks and cats ceased to exist, then mice, rats and other rodents would eat up all the plants until they all died out. And so, little by little, all life would perish."

"Wow… I didn't think of that."

"You see, my boy, it is all connected. The fish we eat, give us sustenance. When we perish, we turn back into the earth that nourishes the grass. The grass then feeds rodents and cattle that then feed cat, the hawk and the lion, all in one large cycle. All in balance. Take out one piece, and it all falls apart. Let any one part of the cycle overstep its limits, and it all breaks under the weight of excess. Naruto-kun, eating meat and vegetables is part of our nature as humans. We need those things to provide us sustenance. Hunting for fish and deer, cutting the grass, chopping carrots for stew, those things do not make us monsters. We are simply part of the larger cycle of life, just like everything else."

"Huh…"

"That said, what would make you a monster, is if you enjoyed the killing and hurting of others, be they prey or enemy. If ever you start to feel like that, that's when you should step back and take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, for that is when you will have fallen astray. Do you understand, my boy?"

"I think so? But I still don't feel good about killing fish."

"I understand. Killing should never be something desirable, but at times, it is necessary. This is why you saw me kill my fish with utmost precision. I did my best to satisfy my needs while inflicting as little pain as possible to my quarry."

"As little pain as possible…" responded Naruto contemplatively.

"Naruto-kun, instead of feeling regretful about the fish you hunt, you should feel grateful."

"Huh? How? Why?"

"Because the fish you eat sacrifices itself and its future for yours. Respect and honor that sacrifice. How to do that you ask? By making good use of everything it has to offer and ensuring that whatever you don't use returns back to renew the cycle."

"Honor the sacrifice… I think I understand." Responded Naruto resolutely, having remembered Natsumi's hurt and how she sacrificed so much just to help him. How she endured and still endures, knowing that any other choice would break their little family apart. "I think I'm ready now."

Seeing the boy's renewed determination and clarity, the old man nodded in approval.

The two returned to the river's bend, Naruto with spear in hand. Focused, the boy struck and, this time, he struck true. He pulled the fish out and, sure enough, the strike killed it. Swift, painless, clean. A respectful death.

"Good job, Naruto-kun. Now, come, we must prepare the food for eating."

"Right."

The two then proceeded to cut and season the fish, after which, Hiruzen showed Naruto how to start a fire, as well as how to make a fire place that would prevent the flames from spreading across the forests.

Once the fish were cooked and ready for eating, the two said a prayer in thanks for the food they were about to consume, with Hiruzen sneakily checking up on Naruto's expression to see if there is any cause for additional concern. Luckily, the boy seemed to have processed the experience well. For now, at least. 'I may have to ask Inoichi to take a look at the boy and ensure his psyche is indeed stable. His mother was a passionate woman after all and he seems to have taken after her in that regard.'

Once the meal was over, the pair cleaned themselves and enjoyed the dancing fires. That is, until Naruto broke the silence.

"Jiji, about the thing I wanted to talk to you."

"Yes, what is it?"

"It's the Red Lights district. So many people are hurting there. Is there really no way we can stop it?"

"Hmm…"

"I know from Natsumi-neechan that there was this deal made between the village and some business people who now pretty much run that place. But, is there really nothing that you can do about it? I mean, you are the hokage, right? Like the boss of bosses around here. Don't people do whatever you tell them to?"

"Haha, if only that were true. I do have power, but even I can't just go around and push everyone to do things however I wanted them, whenever I wanted."

"So, there's nothing you can do?"

"A deal is a deal. Like it or not, it must be respected."

"So that's it then? Natsumi-neechan and all the others, they're just gonna have to suffer through it all, forever… Who was it that made this dumb deal anyway?"

"I did." Responded Hiruzen. To Naruto's surprise, there was no shame on the hokage's face. Only hardness. However, in his heart, Naruto could feel his deep regret and shame.

"Jiji, if this is what it means to be hokage, I'm not sure I ever want to be one. I mean, didn't you once say that, as hokage, the entire village is like one big family to you? If that's true, then how can you let those people suffer like that?! Was there really nothing else you could have done back then to get the help of those people? Did it really have to cost the suffering of so many people? I can't accept that, jiji! I just can't! It's not right!"

Hearing those words, Hiruzen felt yet again how failures from his past simply cannot go past the young boy sitting across from him. In spite of it all, the old hokage couldn't deny that Naruto's pure innocence was a painful mirror of some of his poorest life choices. 'In an effort to cope with so much war, I had numbed myself to the suffering of others. Before I knew it, I became completely ignorant of their plights, all the while playing the façade of the village grandpa. I'm not better than Danzo. No, I'm worse… At least he was true to himself, while I acted like a fraud. The Uchiha have changed thanks to this boy and so has the village, if only slightly. I suppose it's time I changed as well.'

"Thank you, my boy."

"Huh?"

"For reminding this old man of what's truly important."

"So, does that mean you'll try to fix this?"

"I will, though the solution is probably not as straightforward as you might think."

"Awesome!"

"Now now, I'd hold my breath until it was over if I were you. This is not a simple matter and it seems you already know that much yourself."

"Right. So, how do we do this?"

"This time, it's not we. It's just me. This entire situation is my blunder. As such, it is my responsibility to address it. That said, if there is one thing you should take from this experience, it is that, when you lead, you won't always make good decisions. However, a decision is better than no decision. That is because, when you freeze nothing happens and people can die. But if you make a decision, things move forward. And if it's a bad one, at least you have a sense of what you need to correct and what the better direction might be. Do you understand, Naruto-kun?"

"Umm, I think so?"

"No worries. For now, just remember the words I told you. They will come back to help you when the time is right."

"Ok, jiji." responded Naruto, still mulling over the old man's words.

"I suppose I can't take the day off after all." Contemplated Hiruzen looking at the sunset. "Come, Naruto-kun. I shall take you home and then I will go back to the office to begin work on the matter you just brought to my attention."

"Really? Awesome! Let's go!"

"Now now, first we need to put out the fire and eliminate any trace of our presence here. It's good practice for when you become a full-fledged shinobi. I'll show you some tricks on how to do that quickly, if you follow my lead."

"Right!"

Having left Naruto back at his home, Hiruzen found himself back in the office he thought he could leave behind for at least one afternoon. That however, was not possible. Not with the guilt riding on his shoulders as a result of having disappointed his surrogate grandson so egregiously. That guilt soon turned into gratitude aimed at the exact same person.

'In the shadow of the flame, a new spark dances. The young leaves already bud anew.' Gratitude was soon replaced by a will that could move mountains.

With a hand sign, one of the ANBU in his office landed in front of the Hokage's desk.

"Bring me Shikaku Nara and Kakashi Hatake. If they ask, tell them it concerns some urgent policy changes."

With a nod, the ANBU vanished into the sunset.

'Hashirama-sensei, Tobirama-sensei, Minato-kun. Darkness almost swallowed our village whole, and no outside enemy was even needed. It's time the Will of Fire burned brightly with the light of hope once more.'