TALES FROM THE NOBODIES AT THE SCP FOUNDATION

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Tales From the SCP Foundation and no profit is earned.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: There is always more behind the scenes than most realize. An organization like the Foundation has more moving parts and support personnel than most businesses and some countries. What goes on behind the scenes?

CH. 2: DEBATING CONTAINMENT or DANGER! DANGER!

Olivia Yaffa sat at her usual table in the cafeteria, scribbling in her notebook and picking at her breakfast. The directive from Dr. Mann, to develop new containment procedures for SCP 4546 and new experiments to test its capabilities and limits was both an exciting opportunity and troubling. She liked the idea that she was being given more responsibility, but everyone was already dumping busywork on her, as she was the newbie.

Still, there was a challenge before her, an interesting one at that. They would need to verify the limit of its auditory range. That was easy enough. They already knew how long it took to transfer between books. Vida could do it in two minutes and thirty-five seconds as opposed to Fred's three minutes. She scribbled down more notes and questions based on the report that Loomis had submitted and Silvas had made his own additions to. There was nothing terribly difficult there. She began a first draft of the containment procedures.

"You moron!"

She jerked and looked around at the shout, only to pale. Bright and Clef were having breakfast together. Olivia was fairly certain there were actual rules against that. She put away her notepad as the argument escalated and was trying to make a discrete and hasty exit when Clef spotted her and called out.

"Hey, Yaffa? You play Pokémon, don't you?"

Huh?

"Yes," she said, somewhat hesitantly. "With my nephew. He's 12 and into that." Two of the Foundation's top researchers, she told herself, couldn't possibly be arguing about a kids' card game. Could they?

"Maybe you can settle a debate for us. How would you go about containing a Pikachu?"

She blinked slowly at the question. 'What?'

"It's a serious question," Dr. Bright assured her. "You'd be amazed at how often we run into things that look like refugees from anime." He grimaced. "Or monster movies." Then, he glanced at Clef. "And yes, that thing in Japan was real. Look it up if your clearance is high enough." Clef ignored his colleague's jibe, and nodded for her to continue.

"Oh. Um…" She considered the question for a moment, thinking back on the information on the Pikachu cards. "Line the containment cell with very durable, non-conductive material and put a Faraday cage around it."

"Durable?" Clef asked. His tone suggested he wanted clarification.

"Scratch is one of Pikachu's attacks. It's listed on the Pokémon card." Steve had a deck of electric type Pokémon. She favored grass types herself, but she wasn't about to bring that up. It was embarrassing enough that she knew the ins and outs of a kids' game that had already become 'retro.'

"Makes sense for a start," Clef agreed, nodding in satisfaction. "Told you, Bright."

"You'd probably have to make adjustments as you learned more about it and as it learned and adapted," she offered, "but that's nothing new around here."

"What about a vulpix or one of its evolutionary stages?" Bright asked.

"Same arrangement we use for SCP-457, that burning man thing, I would think," she said after a moment's consideration. Am I really discussing containment procedures for video game monsters with two senior researchers?

Clef shook his head and pointed out something he clearly viewed to be obvious. "The fire types have other attacks not related to fire."

"The cell for 457 is sturdy enough to hold other types of SCPs that aren't living fire," she pointed out in what she hoped was a reasonable tone. Arguing with these two probably wouldn't be healthy, and she wasn't sure what might set them off. There was still a glob of mashed potatoes stuck to the ceiling that no one seemed to be able to remove after their last 'debate.' If memory served, that had been over a reality TV show.

"While that might be true in the case of something like a vulpix, I still say that the abilities, especially the attacks, not related to the element have to be taken more seriously," Clef said.

"Most definitely," Olivia agreed, feeling she was on firm ground with both of them on this point, "but until any secondary abilities are properly understood, something will need to hold it, even if only temporarily. That goes for any SCP, not just the theoretical ones, right?"

"Exactly," Bright said, sounding smug. Alarm bells started to ring for Olivia when she saw the look on Clef's face. What had they been arguing about? "We're always playing catchup, it seems. I'm not saying we ignore other abilities, known or suspected, just that we can't wait around for the perfect cell. I mean, what would you do with a vulpix in the meantime? Puppy crate in your office?"

Clef scowled.

"I'll bring the marshmallows," Bright smirked. Then, he suddenly looked thoughtful. "I wonder if anything from the game or show might suggest possible containment strategies?" Clef and Olivia stared at him, wondering where that thought had come from.

"What?" Both asked as one.

"I'm serious," he assured them. "You never know where good ideas will come from; books, movies, cartoons, video games. Some of the things we've tried on 682 were inspired by Loony Tunes."

"Well, that explains a lot," Olivia murmured, feeling faint at the mere thought. Clef chuckled.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "There's a reason we don't let Bright anywhere near that project."

Bright glared at Clef for a second, then smirked. "Remind me. Whose idea was it to try to intimidate him into behaving?"

"I thought that was made up," Olivia hazarded, suddenly able to clearly see the volatile researcher in her mind's eye striding into the beast's containment cell with his shotgun and heaping verbal abuse on it.

Bright shook his head, looking far too cheerful. "Nope. It happened. I," he said proudly, "at least tried to reason with 682. Y'know, train him to act properly."

"And look how that turned out!" Clef snapped. His fists were balled and he looked seconds away from violence.

"You're both crazy," Olivia said flatly, before realizing what she had said and to whom she had said it. She began backing away. Fortunately, the two learned scientists were completely focused on each other, and their shouting match was starting to escalate. Without warning, Clef launched himself at the other man.

Olivia jumped back with a startled 'eep' and backpedaled all the faster. She noted that everyone else in the cafeteria had used the distraction she had unintentionally created to escape. The table between the two was upended and the sounds of cursing and struggling came from behind it. She turned to run, but stumbled as a chair flew by her head, missing her by less than a foot.

A strong pair of arms caught her and hauled her out of the room.

"Thanks," she said, regaining her equilibrium. She turned to find the man who had helped her backing away. "SCP-507?"

"Yeah. Sorry about grabbing you like that. I'm not really supposed to touch people, but those two…" he trailed off looking back the way they had come.

"It's fine," she assured him closing her eyes briefly to sigh in relief. "I've heard the stories about their 'disagreements' and…" She turned to glance at the door her rescuer was staring at, only to find there was no door. Glancing around showed her that the corridor, while largely the same, was painted a slightly different color and the signage was in an unfamiliar language. "Oh."

"Really sorry!" 507 said.