November 3rd, 1995
"I'm fine, Hedwig," Mary whispered, trying to contain a painful laugh.
Her faithful owl had woken her by plucking at her hair like she was trying to scare something out of the rat's nest. Mary grimaced, sitting up gently so as to not disturb Hedwig or upset the sharp jabs of pain shooting through her shoulder. Everything ached, a soreness she hadn't felt in months lingered in every joint and muscle.
And then the events of the past week came back to greet her in full. Mind groggy and spinning, Mary resisted the urge to scream, to cry, to do anything other than feel. She had to find a way to make it stop, for her own sanity's sake.
Apathy enveloped her like an old friend as she buried herself deeper in Occlumency. It was almost like turning on auto-pilot and just coasting through, yet somehow not as easy. Snape told her that using it in such a way was a crutch that wouldn't help her mental state, but she had little choice in the matter. It wasn't her first bout of heartbreak or grief and likely wouldn't be the last.
With that morbid thought hanging around, Mary slowly showered, dressed, and got ready to face her godfathers. Her first real issue was the stupid mirror. The face staring back at her was her own, but it wasn't. Her skin felt wrong, her face held more wrinkles the day before, and her hair was now a shocking white.
"You look ancient, deary!" The mirror gasped in shock. "What have you done? Was it a spell gone wrong?"
"Something like that," Mary grumbled, itching to hex the blasted thing.
"Well, there's spells to hide the ugly," the mirror cackled. "Do you want-"
Her vision tinged red.
"Shut up!" Mary slapped the mirror with the palm of her hand, causing the mirror to shatter and the wall behind it to shake uncontrollably.
"Oh shit!" She pulled her injured hand to her chest, staring at the wall in horror.
The door flung open and Remus took a step forward, deep concern in his eyes for the blood soaking into her shirt. "What happened?"
"I broke the mirror," Mary whispered, turning her gaze to him. "And maybe my hand."
"You've probably reinjured your shoulder and collarbone as well," Remus said with a sigh, waving his wand to repair the mirror. "At least we won't have to deal with that infernal thing anymore."
"I'm sorry," Mary breathed, hanging her head as the shaking finally stopped.
"Don't make it a habit of breaking things," Remus said gently, whispering a spell to vanish the blood. "What did it say?"
"It called me old and ugly," Mary said, letting out a small chuckle. "It wasn't wrong, but that didn't make it easier to hear."
"You're neither old, nor ugly, Mary Jane," Remus said, handing her a towel for her hand. "This is only a temporary setback."
"Either way, I'll definitely do something to fix my face," Mary said, pointing her wand at her hand and whispering the spell to stitch the wound.
"Severus left a sling to support your shoulder," he said, waving his wand until the offending object zoomed into his hand. "I'm unsure how it works."
Mary placed her arm into the leather contraption and then wrapped it around her neck with her good hand. "I think I can figure it out."
"Do you need more help?" Remus asked, looking to the door. "I think Dora is awake."
Mary tried to smile. "I've got it, Moomy."
"Try to remain calm," Remus said, eyeing the blank wall. "Breaking inanimate objects isn't helpful in any situation."
"Sorry," Mary whispered, her shoulders dropping.
Remus walked out and Mary set to work securing the strap in place and making herself presentable. Tonks walked in without a word, standing in front of her and pointing her wand at herself.
"Mutare brunneis," Tonks carefully said the spell, making her own hair go from its usual purple to a dark brown. "You try."
Mary ran her good hand over her hair and said the spell, watching as her hair went from grey to a greyish-blue. "Oops."
"I actually like it," Tonks said, smiling brightly and staring intently at Mary's face. "I think a quick beauty spell will help with the wrinkles."
"Will it turn my face blue," Mary asked, frowning at her hand.
"Only one way to find out," Tonks said, shrugging her shoulders and leaning on the doorframe. "You do know the counter-spell, right?"
Mary raised an eyebrow in response, then ran her hand over her face while whispering the charm. It worked. While she certainly didn't feel any younger, the wrinkles and blemishes smoothed out, leaving her face appearing closer to her true age. Even her scar was barely visible under the coating of magic.
"Let's hope that holds," Mary said, turning to Tonks. "How're you feeling this morning?"
"Not bad, all things considered," Tonks replied, frowning as she looked at her nails. "I'm really missing work though. I hate being a desk jockey."
Mary tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Once my nephew escapes you'll have bigger things to worry about."
Tonks' eyes widened. "Don't even start on that, Potter."
Mary let out a small laugh, following Tonks into the kitchen where Remus had a platter of food and pot of tea waiting for them. Mary glanced at the hideline of the Daily Prophet and let out a small sigh. No news was good news, but in this case, the news wasn't being reported because the Ministry didn't want to cause chaos and panic amongst the wizarding community.
"Food then potions," Remus said, pushing a plate in her direction and then sending four small vials floating in front of her.
Mary grimaced as she scanned the labels, finding her messy initials scrawled on each label. "Do I have to?"
"It's the only way to get better," Remus said, shrugging his shoulders as he did the same for Tonks.
"Really, Remus," Tonks said, frowning at the vial. "This stuff is nasty."
"Healer's orders," Remus said. "And by 'Healer' I mean your dear mother."
"Lucky me," Tonks said, popping the cork and downing her potion in one go. "Blegh! That tastes worse than a Niffler's arse."
Mary arched an eyebrow, nibbling on her toast. "Tried that, have ya?"
Tonks stuck her tongue out and Remus shook his head in amusement.
"Any news on Chiara?" Mary asked, trying to keep her tone light.
Tonks mood shifted and she sat her glass of juice down, sloshing the liquid over the side of the glass. "She's still in confinement."
"I should visit her," Mary said, feeling ill at ease.
"She's feral, Mary Jane," Remus said, putting his scarred hand on top of hers. "She has no sense of time or self."
A wave of grief washed over her, knowing that the lively and spirited woman was suffering because of her. "We never should have tried a potion of my making. How stupid could I be?"
"We'll figure this out," Mary said, her heart racing. "I promise. We'll find the cure for both of you."
"I have no doubts," Remus said, glancing at Tonks then back to her.
"What about Malfoy?" Mary asked, taking a huge bite of eggs. "Any change?"
"He's still unconscious," Tonks said. "We have learned that Goyle wasn't really Goyle in last night's match. They found him unconscious in the Slytherin dorms. He'd been hit with a memory charm followed by a concussion hex."
"Just like Daphne," Mary said, standing quickly. "It's gotta be that bitch Vinda."
"Severus and Andy were there as well, Mary Jane," Remus said. "They watched every movement. You are not to blame."
"But Chiara-"
"Chiara is an adult capable of making her own choices," Tonks said. "This isn't your fault."
If that were true, why did she feel like she royally fucked it all up? Mary took a breath and let it out slowly, trying to reign in the emotions that were bubbling at the surface.
Remus froze, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his two-way mirror. "Mary Jane, Sirius needs us to Floo over to Grimmauld Place as soon as we're ready."
Her heart skipped a beat and she stood, gaging their sombre reactions. "What happened?"
"Rolf's returned from America," Tonks answered, frowning as she put her glass on the table.
"Saphira?" Mary whispered, heart in her throat.
"She's not with him," Remus said in a gentle tone.
"Oh," Mary breathed, feeling the rage bubble up inside her as she began to pace in front of the hearth.
Mary's pulse quickened, her vision blurred as she balled up her fists. "Then why is he here!?"
"Mary Jane!" Remus reached across the table to grip her hand. "Calm yourself!"
Mary's neck twitched oddly and a flicker of fear passed over Remus' face. He retracted his hand with a heartbroken expression.
"Sorry," Mary whispered, digging her nails into her palms until it shot pain into her injured shoulder, grounding her to reality. "I'm ready."
Tonks and Remus shared a glance.
"Are you sure?" Tonks asked, leaning back in her chair. "Cause you're kind of scaring me."
"I'm fine," Mary replied, trying not to snap at them both. "Why is he at the house and not here?"
"Sirius threatened to kill him if he returned to Hogwarts without speaking to you first," Remus said, as though he agreed with Sirius entirely. "So it's your choice, Mary Jane."
Burying her true feelings under the fire, Mary walked over to the fireplace. "No use in putting it off then."
"Are you sure you want to talk to him?" Tonks asked, moving to follow Remus. "No one would blame you if you curse his bollocks off and leave him to rot."
Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, but said nothing.
"I can do this," Mary replied, feeling her rage deflate slightly. "I can't ask everyone to treat me like a responsible adult if I can't act accordingly."
Something akin to pride spread across Remus' face and Mary felt wholly unworthy. "You're very wise."
"It's all the wrinkles," Mary muttered, dinging her fingers into her sweater.
Remus went through the Floo first, as usual, to make sure that the connection was safe.
"You can hex him into a puddle and I'll help you hide the body," Tonks said, holding the pot of Floo powder out.
"Thanks, Tonks," Mary said as she took a pinch. "I'll keep it in mind."
The flames flashed green and Mary took in a breath, knowing that was her cue to go. She stepped in and called out the address, letting it turn her inside out and back again before transporting her to the overly bright and colourful kitchen in Grimmauld Place. Mary took stock of her surroundings, noting no sign of Rolf or anything amiss other than a Probity Probe lying on the dining room table.
Sirius stopped his conversation with Remus and stood to greet her. His arms wrapped around her gently and she tried her best to repress the urge to cry like an idiot.
"Where is he?" She asked, taking a step back and brushing off her sweater.
"The roof," Sirius answered in a gruff tone. "He steps one toe out of line and I'll kill him."
"I can handle this, Siri," Mary said, straightening her shoulders.
"And don't let him guilt you into anything," Sirius continued. "This is his fault. Well, mostly his fault. But we're standing beside you either way."
"I've got it," Mary said a little louder, shooting him a pointed look before apparating straight to the roof.
Her arrival was so quiet that Rolf didn't even notice her presence. He was pacing in front of the greenhouse, wringing his hands.
"Rolf," Mary said calmly.
Rolf startled slightly, his eyes widening at the sight of her. "Your hair is different."
"I felt a change was needed," Mary said, trying awkwardly to cross her arms without upsetting the sling. "Why are you here?"
"To apologise," Rolf said, taking a few steps toward her then stopping after glancing at her shoulder. "You're hurt."
"Quidditch," Mary answered abruptly. "It's nothing."
"Oh," Rolf said, reaching for her. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Mary replied, looking at his hand like it revolted her. "And do you really think an apology will make things better? You took her from me, Rolf! You hurt both of us!"
"I'm sorry," Rolf said, looking down at his shoes. "It was horrible and I feel horrible. But if you'll hear me out, maybe you'll understand."
Mary glanced at the bright red patio chairs and nodded before going to sit. Rolf followed at a more sedate pace, but instead of sitting, he went down on one knee in front of her. Her heart stopped.
"What are you doing?"
Rolf reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box and opening it. "It's your ring. The match to Saphira's necklace. But I'd like to have your forgiveness before I give you a new ring."
Mary's brain stuttered to a halt, but unfortunately, her mouth didn't. "Why do I need two rings?"
"I want to marry you, Mary Jane Potter, and I don't care how long it takes to earn your trust back, but I won't stop," Rolf said, grasping her hand and slipping the rings onto her finger. "From the moment I met you, I just knew. You will be my wife.
Mary's mouth gaped open and then snapped shut as her brain caught up. "What?!"
Rolf smiled brightly, unhindered by her reaction. "Our children will go to Hogwarts and we'll spend our lives together chasing and discovering magical beasts just like my grandparents did."
"That's not possible!" Mary pulled her hand back and stood, moving away so she could breathe again. "For one, you broke my heart and hurt me by not finalising your relationship with Penny. You lied to me, Rolf. And secondly, even if you hadn't done any of that, you took Saphira with me out of spite. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that."
Rolf's expression dropped, crestfallen at her reaction. "And I'm sorry for both, but I had to face Penny in person. With Saphira, it's for her own good that she doesn't get attached to humans. She has to learn to survive on her own among her own kind. You're doing her a disservice by keeping her as a pet."
Mary heard the glass begin to splinter and crack, so she dug deep to control her emotions. "Rolf, the life you dreamed of will never happen. I will never marry or have children. You're doing yourself a disservice by holding out hope for that."
Rolf blinked, his brow furrowing as he took another step toward her. "You don't have to be so fatalistic, Mary. You can have good things in life. It's not all war and death."
Mary scoffed. "For me, all I have is this war and death. That's just being realistic."
"We can have more together," Rolf said, reaching for her again. "Anything you want."
"I'll be dead within two years, Rolf," Mary answered heatedly, waving her good hand around wildly. "Seriously, did you really think I'd go up against Voldemort and walk away from it?"
"You don't know that for sure," Rolf breathed. "You can't."
"I'm so sure of it that I sterilised myself to give me one more advantage in battle," Mary replied, her grin showing too many teeth. "So please stop. Just stop. I don't care if you go back to work at Hogwarts, or if you go somewhere else, just leave me alone."
Without invitation, he enveloped her in his arms, his body shuddering. "I can't. I love you."
Mary closed her eyes, wishing for strength enough to keep her sanity. "I'm sorry, Rolf, but I don't feel the same way."
"I'll fix this," Rolf said, pulling away and wiping his eyes. "No matter what it takes. If you need space, just say the word."
"I need space," Mary said at once.
Rolf nodded, rubbing his face. "I'll be back at school tomorrow. I promised Dumbledore that I'd finish the year. If you don't have an objection to that, that is?"
"Do whatever you want," Mary said, taking in a deep breath as she took off the cursed engagement ring. "Take this with you. I'm sure Penny would rather have it."
"Whatever it takes, Mary," Rolf said, gently taking the ring and putting it in his pocket. "Even if I only have you for a little while."
"Goodbye, Rolf," Mary said, waving her hand to the door.
Rolf smiled and shook his head. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Rolf opened the door and was met by Sirius and Remus. Of course they'd been eavesdropping on the conversation. Mary was too confused and shocked to care. She ignored the three as she sat down, turning the silver ring on her finger. All at once, loneliness and hunger that gnawed to the bone overwhelmed her.
"Rolf!" Mary shot out of her seat, rushing past Sirius and Remus until she caught up with him in the stairwell. "Wait!"
Rolf spun around, a shocked, but hopeful look plastered on his face. Right until Mary landed her fist on his jawbone.
"She's starving and lonely, you bastard!" Mary screamed, rearing back to hit him again. "How dare you offer apologies when she's suffering!"
"Stop!" Rolf said, holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Saphira's doing great! I don't think Penny's put the necklace on her yet. I promise, she's fine."
Mary ripped the ring off of her finger and held it out in her palm. "Then explain that!"
Rolf slipped the ring onto the tip of his pinky finger and let out a sigh. "Penny has the necklace."
"Why the fuck would I want to check on your girlfriend?" Mary asked, clenching her fists.
"She was waiting for the right time to give Saphira the necklace," Rolf said gently. "The other Snallygasters have really taken to her and Penny didn't want to disturb or spook them."
"Contact Penny and tell her to give the necklace to Saphira as soon as possible," Mary said, taking the ring back from him and walking away. "And tell her to eat something for fucks' sake!"
Mary went into the guest bathroom and shut the door, closing her eyes as she turned on the tap and let the cold water run over her bloodied knuckles. The pain brought on clarity that she sorely needed, giving her a chance to make sense of what Rolf said and wanted. It washed the confusion and brought to mind what was most important.
A soft knock on the door pulled her from her reverie and she opened it to find Sirius and Remus waiting worriedly on the other side. "I'm fine."
"I'll kill him," Sirius growled.
"Dumbledore better find a replacement," Remus said, clenching his fist. "I won't have him there with you."
"I'm fine," Mary repeated. "I promise. Rolf and I are on the same page now. He's not the issue. I am. Just let it go and leave him alone. Please."
"Tell that to his face," Tonks said, appearing suddenly at Remus' side. "Nice work, Mary! I didn't expect you to go full Muggle in a fight, but I'm proud."
"That was a misunderstanding," Mary said, grimacing slightly. "Either way, I have to go. I need Snape."
"Snape?" Sirius repeated, sounding a little hurt by her dismissal. "Now? I thought we could spend the day-"
"I just realised something important," Mary said, giving the three quick hugs. "I love you all, but I really do have to go."
"Are you sure?" Severus asked, watching as Potter exited the Pensieve and paced in his study.
"Positive," Potter replied, waving her hand at the basin. "I got the wand movement wrong. It's my fault Chiara's trapped like that."
Severus entered the Pensieve and watched carefully for the thousandth time, only this time, he realised that Potter was right. She faltered at a critical interval, successfully creating a reverse effect in the potion. And if it successfully trapped Miss Lobosca in her wolf form and mind, a correctly made potion would do the opposite. A cure was possibly at hand!
He exited the Pensieve and turned to Potter. "You are correct."
"I knew it!" Potter shouted, waving her hand in the air. "So we can fix this?"
Severus took mental stock of his stores. "We have enough ingredients for one more dose."
"That's perfect," Potter said, tapping her fingers on the worktable. "The full moon is on Monday. We can fix my monumental fuck up and Chiara will be cured."
Severus held up a hand to stop her from getting her hopes up. "Miss Lobosca has been trapped in the mind and body of a feral werewolf for nearly two months, Potter. Even if the cure works, which is still precarious, she might not be mentally well."
"Then we'll fix that too," Potter said, a frantic look in her eyes. "I have to do this, sir. I have to get something right. I've fucked up so much. Please, help me."
"Not until we have a talk about the journals," he said, giving her a pointed stare. "To the couch. Grab the bottle."
"Yes sir," Potter said, her excitement deflating as she sat on the couch and wrapped up in the white blanket, extending her hand until a bottle flew into it. "Two glasses?"
"I'm not drinking alone," Severus said, taking his seat by the fireplace and grabbing the stack of journals.
A glass full of black liquor hovered near his face and he looked up at her with a brow raised. "In a hurry, Potter?"
"Just a little jumpy, sir." Potter shrugged her shoulders, downing her glass in one pull before pouring another. "Ah, that's better."
"Don't get drunk," he said, opening the third and eighth journals. "You need to make sense in your explanations or it's straight to the sobriety potions for you."
Potter frowned. "That's no fun."
Severus pointed at an entry in the eighth journal. "Do you know what the catalyst is?"
"I am, sir," Potter answered at once. "Had I not used Harry's memories to my advantage, the future wouldn't be fucked sideways."
"Astute observation," Severus replied, hiding a smirk. "By using your counterpart's knowledge, you've set into motion a series of events that are nearly unpredictable. Can you tell me the variations?"
"Dumbledore never fucked with Harry," Potter said easily. "He didn't visit Harry at Privet drive, Obliviate him, or suppress his magic."
"While I don't agree with the Headmaster's motives, I can attest to the fact that you were at Death's door when he made the decision to trap the chaotic magic using the Cuff," Severus said, then took a long drink. "You are the catalyst of change, not because of your irritating personality or inability to keep your nose out of others' business."
"Can I get that in writing?" Potter asked, laughing slightly.
Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "When you tried to spare your counterpart from death, you not only absorbed his memories, but his soul attached itself to you. That's why you have visions of him when you're near death."
"Wow," Mary said in awe. "You're a thorough reader."
"Focus, Potter!" He snapped. "You need the suppression cuff because your body and mind couldn't handle having the knowledge and magic of two."
"But I got a sliver of Voldie stuck in my forehead," Potter said, tapping at her scar. "Does that matter?"
"It exacerbates the issue," he said in derision. "The Dark Lord's soul fragment gave you the ability to speak to snakes and see into his mind. Your link to your counterpart gave you his knowledge and skills to an extent. But more importantly, it created the backlash that nearly killed you, causing the Headmaster to intervene."
Potter looked at the ceiling. "Thanks, Harry."
"In simpler terms, you have the ancient magic of magical creatures - both light and dark - in your veins. That amount of magic would make the strongest of wizards explode. But you have the ability to contain it because the Suppression Cuff gave you the ability to acclimate to both the ancient magics and the extra souls."
"So Dumbledore really saved me?" Potter asked, her frown deepening.
"Not in an altruistic sense," Severus clarified. "The Headmaster is still very much convinced that you will either turn dark or walk willingly to your death to rid yourself of the fragment of the Dark Lord's soul. Neither will happen."
"I have to die," Potter said easily, as though she was talking about the weather. "I've known that since I woke up. But I'm not going without taking that evil fucker with me. I can promise you that."
"You're not going to die, Potter!" He shouted, throwing the journals to the side and standing to tower over her.
Potter stood to her full height, matching him eye to eye. "I love you too, sir."
"You're not going to die," Severus repeated, resisting the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her into seeing sense.
Had she not been injured, he would have.
"We have bigger problems to worry about now," Potter said, sitting down and pouring another glass.
"Such as?" He asked, sitting down and rubbing at his temples.
"Vinda Rosier is still in the castle, mind wiping kids and shit," Potter said. "Siri's girlfriend is fucking useless at finding her. And I'm pretty sure she's trying to use my blood to strengthen Grindelwald using the Elixir of Life in my blood."
Severus blinked. "Potter, that is a problem."