Time heals all wounds, or so many wise men used to say. Maybe so, but Tauriel had no way of knowing. News of the victory at Helm's Deep spread, as one might expect, dangerously fast. It was necessary to order the return, count the losses, regroup the forces and consider any further fate.
The king had decided that they would set out on the morning of the next day, so the elf had lost all argument to refuse an overnight stay in Éowyn's chamber. The princess remained adamant and even Legolas, who had come to see how she was feeling, supported the thought.
And oh what a night it was. The warrior, though accustomed to the comfortable, regal chambers she had experienced when she had yet to fall out of favor with the ruler of Mirkwood, had never experienced such peace lying wrapped in luxuries. She had always felt she didn't deserve as much (at least in this one thing she agreed with Thranduil), all the goods of the palace had always made her feel inferior, different, and for some unexplained reason obligated.
But this night was different and the only reason it could be so was because of that barely perceptible weight of the other body resting on the mattress. Since field beds were needed for the wounded, Éowyn concluded without hesitation that she would sleep on the floor. However, Tauriel didn't want to hear about it. She even suggested that she would sleep on the floor instead, but at this suggestion the girl only gave her a silent, cold look. So they compromised. The princess' bed was large enough for two people to sleep on it and hardly know of each other's presence.
And that's how the night went. The bed was indeed large, and though there was no touch, Tauriel felt with her whole being that she was not alone. She could hear the girl's soft breathing, smell her intoxicating scent, feel the mattress bend slightly with Eowyn's every movement. Under other circumstances, her mind would probably be filled with different thoughts and her body would crave contact, however, on this night, that was enough. Despite her wounds and the battle she had endured, she felt at peace. Paradoxically, it was this calmness that caused a storm of thoughts to swirl in her head, all related to the fair-haired maiden.
As for Éowyn, she felt...alive? Over the past years in Meduseld, that little spark inside her had dimmed year by year, but one brief contact with the elf had caused a living fire to burn inside her ever since. As she lay in bed and tried to sleep she realized that she hadn't felt things so clearly in a long time. The scratch on her side, though small, bothered her at the slightest movement. Colors and smells seemed more vivid to her, and she perceived all sounds with a newfound intensity. She couldn't quite figure out the exact role of the elven woman in all of this yet. And then, of course, there were the dear companions who had come with the White Wizard. An elf, a human and a dwarf; and it was this man who stirred emotions in the girl very similar to the ones she felt around Tauriel. Fascination mixed with desire, emotions that Éowyn thought had long died out inside her.
But back then on the walls, when dawn brought victory, it was not his face she sought. He filled her with excitement, but it was not the sight of him that caused the invisible hand clutching her chest to loosen its grip. He fascinated her, though it was not by his side that she spent the day.
A loud sigh escaped her throat. She knew and at the same time didn't know what it all meant. She wanted and didn't want to learn more about her own emotions. The thought both excited and terrified her.
"I have but one fear, to end in a cage...",
"I thought for a moment that you would be gone by now," Legolas approached the elven girl as she was strapping her bow to the saddle. She gave him a sad smile.
"I know that all these people, that...Haldir, almost myself...I thought about it. From the moment I woke up I felt an unimaginable fear inside me and a force telling me to get as far away from here as possible. But after all these wars years ago, I feel that the most important battle is yet to come and I believe that I have some part to play in it,"
"Remember that whatever happens, you can always count on me," he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.
"I know, you too my dear friend,"
"Ey you lovebirds, even a blind orc could attack you now!" Gimli entered the stable with a ferocious step, adjusting the belt of his pants.
"It so happens, Gimli, that we would hear you even if we were deaf," Legolas was fast to respond and the look the dwarf gave him made Tauriel laugh.
"Don't get used to it, not everyone is so easily forgiven for an insult," Gimli gave the girl a scolding look. Or at least he tried.
"Do you want to race?" suddenly a feisty fire lit in the girl's eyes. The question was directed at Legolas, but the expression on Gimli's face made the girl laugh again. "Not you master Gimli, I know that you dwarwes are natural sprinters, wasted on cross-country,"
"It's a real pleasure talking to you two, but it's time for me to go, I hope you know how to lose Tauriel!" with one leap he jumped on the saddle of his horse and rushed ahead.
"Cheater!" once again the air was filled with girl's laughter. She had no idea how it happened, but it was just something so new and fresh about this adventure and oh she felt more ready than ever to discover what awaits her.
"I won!" Legolas announced as he appeared at the front of the column of people heading out of the Deep.
"You cheated, that's what you did," Tauriel appeared almost immediately at his side.
"Technically, we haven't set the rules," he grinned at her. How good it felt to be together again, the familiar banter made them both feel at home for a moment.
"You're impossible, you know that?"
"Impossibly wonderful, I think is what you meant,"
"Yes, that's..." a distraction broke into Tauriel's thoughts before the girl realized what she had said. "...wait, no," she tried to hide it, but of course nothing escapes elf's attention. His sharp eyes followed Tauriel's gaze and without much surprise, saw Éowyn, engrossed in conversation with Aragorn. He sighed deeply.
"So back then, at home... that wasn't just some...'insolent act of insubordination', as my father put it?"
"No," to his surprise, the elf laughed quietly. "But it would be so simple wouldn't it? But the thing is it was real, SHE was real..." suddenly completely in spite of herself, tears began to glaze at the corners of her eyes. "Anyway," Tauriel grunted and absentmindedly ran a hand through her braided hair. "Old story, isn't it? Very, very old,"
"And yet?"
"And yet since the moment I saw her I cannot get rid of this feeling, this intense urge to throw myself right back into this madness," Aragorn said something that made Éowyn's laughter fill the air and it's sonorous tone reached elven ears. "Because living in harmony with yourself, with your feelings and with who you truly are is a privilege known to few,"
"Not everyone is willing to pay the price that comes with living this way,"
"Yes I suppose you're right..." for a moment the fair-haired maiden looked away from her companion and then their gazes met. It was hard to tell if Éowyn did it on purpose or not, but Tauriel felt challenged to a duel of gazes. It was as if the time spent studying the abyss beneath their eyelids would give them answers to questions only asked deep within.
But both were too proud to reveal anything. Tauriel because she knew the consequences all too well, and Éowyn, well, Éowyn because she didn't quite know how to answer. Why the shiver that climbed up her spine, segment by segment spreading throughout her body, why the twitching of the corner of her mouth whenever the elf appeared nearby and why the strange, unnamed longing whenever she wasn't around?
Maybe if life was simpler the answers would be obvious. But life was not like a child's toy where all the pieces fit together to make a whole. No, in life you often had to have the courage to think outside the box to see that seemingly incongruous pieces were actually the only ones capable of creating something together.
For now, only Tauriel could afford this courage. Risking it, she sent the girl a look that made Éowyn's breath freeze on her lips for a second. She was in the midst of a thousand people, yet for that brief moment she felt as if the only ones among the wilderness were her and this mysterious elven woman. The strength of this strangely tickling sensation suddenly made her shy, a blush barely visible to human eyes creeping up her cheeks. She broke the eye contact and Tauriel just smiled jauntily under her breath.
Legolas grunted meaningfully.
"I don't want to go back to being scared. Different? Wild? Abnormal? I'm an elf and a woman and a warrior at that! I've learned to deal with terms like that. But I'm not a coward and I'm not going to be afraid of who I am,"
"I admire you," Legolas began, his voice sincere and caring. "I just hope you know what you're doing,"
"Yeah, me too..."
The road was long and hard and the men were wounded and tired. Although the victory lifted everyone's spirits, everyone knew that the most important battle was still ahead of them. The losses were felt not only among the people, but also many horses lost their lives during the clash with the Wargs, making the march all the more difficult.
They set off at dawn and although their pace was good, the sun had long since stopped towering over them. Now, as if intimidated, as if not worthy to look the victorious army in the eye, was found hiding behind the hills. The king ordered to set up camp.
"Bloody Wargs," Gimli mumbled under his breath, picking himself up off the ground when his horse decided to stop abruptly. "They killed my dear pony, the only, I repeat the only suitable means of forced transport for a dwarfs!"
"You can always walk," Legolas shrugged his shoulders with amusement, unpacking his saddle.
"Indeed I've heard that the children and elderly on that cart in the back could use some company," Tauriel echoed.
"I like her," Aragorn suddenly appeared by their side.
"I, for one, have mixed feelings about elves," Gimli flinched, taking a big gulp from his water bag. "Er how much I would give now for a sip of malt beer!"
The girl squinted her eyes, as if in thought, and pulled a small flask from a bag strapped to her saddle. She handed it to the dwarf.
"Drink, my lord dwarf. This may be the closest to good liquor you will come to tasting on this trail,"
"I might've as well been biting the dust right now, so cheers gentlemen...and lady," he raised the flask in a somewhat theatrical gesture and, though still distrustful, took a sip. Much to his surprise a pleasant wave of warmth and strength began to spread through his body. "Like I said, mixed feelings about elves," he hummed in satisfaction.
"It's Miruvor," Tauriel explained, taking a sip herself, warm and fragrant liquor coating her throat. "It has properties that make the drinker feel their strength return almost immediately. Some call it the Cordial of Imladris,"
"I have heard of similar drinks being made by orcs," almost instantly the elves became indignant.
"Both the Dúnedain and the Orcs possess drinks with similar properties, but Miruvor is known to be the most potent of these cordials," Aragorn came to the rescue.
"It is also, of course, made from pure ingredients, not like that orcish filth," Legolas sounded disgusted to say the least.
And this banter would probably go on for a good few hours, if not for the fact that they had to help set up tents, light fires and discuss guards.
"Need some help with that my lady?" Tauriel approached the hearth at which Éowyn had been pouring a strange-looking substance into bowls. Its smell was anything but pleasant. The elven woman wrinkled her nose.
"I made some stew. It's not much, but it must be enough in our situation,"
"Oh so you're telling me that you can cook?" the taller woman couldn't help herself. Something about the light-haired woman's mere presence made her feel lighter. And after recent events her mind wandered very easily to places where she felt comfortable, light and safe.
"Don't you forget yourself my lady Tauriel?" Éowyn tried to sound offended, but she truly couldn't. In fact she was ashamed to admit how much she actually had been waiting for this moment all day. To be able to talk, to feel the other woman's presence.
The redhead smiled warmly. "First of all, I'm no lady. And secondly, your lady? I don't recall you courting me princess," saying this she reached for a bowl to help the girl distribute food to people. When their fingers encircling the dish came in contact, Éowyn withdrew as if she had been burned by something extremely hot, even though the stew was only slightly warm.
Tauriel only casted her a mysterious glance.
"Um... don't be offended, but I don't think we would serve this stew to these brave warriors," the elf frowned as soon as the smell of the dish became too intense.
"Is something wrong with it?"
"It...well it smells disgusting to be fair," she fired out suddenly, unable to find better words. To her great surprise, Éowyn not only did not take offense at these words, but actually laughed lightly.
"First of all, I never said I can cook. And secondly, you are the first person to tell me the truth. There were already at least ten men here and everyone raved about the dish,"
"Ah..they would say anything in your presence, just to get their paws under your dress," Tauriel muttered under her breath.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me the first time princess," the elf replied in a hoarse voice, approaching fair-haired woman.
For a moment there was a silence between them. A silence that was loud from the unspoken tension.
"Indeed I have," Éowyn replied with a courage in her voice hitherto unknown to the elf. Now she took a step closer. Suddenly, the emotions that the Rohirim woman felt in the presence of the long-lived warrior bubbled up and mixed. She didn't know quite what she was feeling, but she knew that something had awakened in her ever since her gaze met that of the red-haired elf in Helm's Deep.
"You think you have the upper hand. That I'm just a stupid girl, locked in a palace without any knowledge of the world. That I can be easily manipulated..."
"I've never..." Tauriel tried, but the sudden proximity of the princess caused the world's to die in her throat.
"Don't you think I know what they are whispering about me?" the light-haired woman began circling the elf like a predator surrounds its prey, and the fire dancing around the cauldron reflected mysteriously on her pale face.
Tauriel swallowed loudly. She didn't quite know what was just happening She, a great warrior, a commander herself, had been cornered with no chance of escape, and the only way to freedom was through the gray immensity of a Rohirim woman's eyes.
"Don't you think I know how they look at me?" this time Éowyn stopped, bringing her face dangerously close to the other woman's face. "How they desire me?" her lips were so close to Tauriel's that the elf felt their sweet warmth. That alone made her strong head spin. She wanted to say something, to do something and yet the only thing that was on her mind right now was how much she wanted to kiss the princess. To throw herself into that madness one more time, one last time...
As for Eowyn she was in some kind of a trance. She didn't recognize herself, and yet it had been a long time since she had felt so at peace with herself.
"And what do you desire my lady?" the elf regained her confident tone and gently captured Éowyn's chin with her hand, forcing her to look at her. Gray eyes that had seen too little came into contact with brown eyes that had seen too much. And in that one moment, each of them felt at peace.
"I..." truth was, she didn't quite know the answer. No one had ever asked her. Everyone always knew better what was right for a princess, what befitted her and what did not, what she should do and what she must not do. Suddenly she was very aware of the position she was in. Her gaze went to elf's lips and then fled embarrassedly to the side. The moment was gone.
"I...I'd like to distribute the stew," she said in a hurry, pulling away abruptly from the other woman. Tauriel considered it her temporary victory. Temporary, because somewhere inside her a long-forgotten feeling, long-silenced, long-hidden has awakened...
Thank you all for your kind comments and words of support. Thanks to You, I want to continue this story, whenever the inspiration comes