September 27th, Outskirts of Magnolia
Thump! Five hundred and seventy-six.
Thump! Five hundred and seventy-seven.
Thump! Five hundred and seventy-eight.
It was early in the morning. The sun hadn't even begun to rise. The sky was as black as night, and still populated with stars.
Natsu Dragneel hadn't been able to sleep. He went to bed the evening prior and found himself simply staring up at the ceiling, even after he'd been awake for close to twenty-three hours beforehand. He felt tired, the ache in his bones and muscles had told him as much. He knew full well that he should be sleeping. But for some reason beyond his comprehension, he just couldn't manage it.
After an hour of trying to calm his restless mind, Natsu had slipped quietly out of his hammock, left a snoring Happy inside their home, and went outside to train.
And now, only six hours later after having exerted his magical abilities, but also his body to its limits, he was monotonously punching the great oak tree in the large clearing that was his backyard.
He'd recalled a rather dull technique that Igneel had taught him as a kid. His father would sit him down before a mighty stone and have him punch it one thousand times for no reason whatsoever. Whenever he'd ask his father for an explanation, the great red dragon would only rebuke him.
"Shut up, boy. Now get to work."
Years later as a young adult, Natsu still hadn't understood why Igneel made him punch a stone until his fist was bruised and bloodied. But what he did know was that it made him focus and block out all distractions in his mind. He'd rarely practiced the technique after Igneel left and had almost forgotten about it altogether. Until today, that is.
Thump! Five hundred and eighty-four.
Thump! Five hundred and eighty-five.
Natsu stopped himself momentarily as he felt an all-too familiar lurching sensation hit his gut. He posted himself up against the tree and felt it all come back up once again as he vomited out onto the grass. The acidic taste of bile mixed with crackling blue magical energy had almost sapped the last of his strength. His Etherion-sickness had gotten somewhat better in the last few weeks, but it had yet to fully go away on its own.
The queasiness had ceased almost immediately as he was done. He caught his breath while he tried to swallow down the bitter acrid aftertaste. Warm pellets of sweat ran down his face and forehead. He wiped them away and stood upright, assuming his prior position. With lightning-fast speed, even for a sick man, he launched his left fist out at the oak once again.
Thump! Five hundred and eighty-six.
Far in the distance, out of the corner of his eyes and through the trees, he saw the small sliver of orange appear on the horizon. The first cracks of dawn over a new day.
Thump! Five hundred and eighty-seven.
Soon his thoughts drifted over to something else. To the things he didn't want to think about. The demons he'd been running from.
"Interesting! Show me the dragon wizard's power!"
Natsu snarled at the oak as if it had insulted his friends. His next punch came harder than the last.
THUMP! Five hundred and eighty-eight.
"Are you being serious?"
He growled this time, and hit the wood again with far more aggression behind his strike.
THUMP! Five hundred and eighty-nine.
"Natsu Dragneel…"
The pink-haired man wasn't even aware that he'd started using his flames.
THUNK! THUNK! Five ninety, five ninety-one!
"...the child of Igneel…"
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! The oak shook violently, trembling after each strike from his closed fists. He was using both hands now, not even paying attention to the black burn marks on the trunk of the tree.
"I had wanted to taste the destructive power of a Dragon Slayer… but this is nothing to fear at all."
He growled, not aware of the magical pressure that was now building up from his aura.
"Natsu, take care of Erza."
"ARGH!" With one last devastating blow, Natsu had punched into the core of the tall, mighty oak tree and felt the wood fracture underneath the sheer force behind his closed fist.
Snapped out of his rage, he took a step backwards and held a hand up to protect his eyes as the trunk of the oak began to rip and tear, splintering apart completely, and sending flying shards of wood everywhere. The sound that followed was almost akin to several dozen lightning bolts striking the same spot consecutively. Crrrrrrrrracccck! Which, as the tree lurched backward and away from him, was followed by a sharp, BOOM!
Leaves rustled harshly in the clearing. It began to tone down now that the tree was lying awkwardly on the forest floor.
Natsu came back to his senses and took stock of his handiwork. He looked at his hands and let the flames coating his knuckles die away on their own. He exhaled sharply. Shit.
He hadn't meant to go that hard.
The Dragon Slayer sighed harshly, beginning to feel his head pound with a dull pain.
"Your technique doesn't work, you cranky old lizard…" He said under his breath, half-hoping Igneel had heard him somewhere out in the world. Wherever the old bastard was right now, at least.
His conscience, however, was satisfied with the brutality with which he'd taken down the oak. The voices in his head disappeared for the moment, and Natsu decided to seize the opportunity. He walked over to the fallen oak, sat down, and rested his back against the trunk.
As the darkness came to take him away, he simply watched the small slivers of orange turn into light blue. With his eyelids feeling far too heavy to keep up, Natsu finally fell asleep.
"Helloooooo! Natsu~"
It was hours later. Natsu opened his eyes, blinking once as they adjusted to the clear blue sky above him, and the gaze of the sun. He wasn't in the shade, but his positioning hadn't bothered him in the slightest. Realizing that he was laying on his side, he posted his hand on the ground and sat upright.
Sitting on the fallen tree trunk above his head was none other than Happy. He flicked the cat a brief smile as he let his head rest against the oak. "Morning, Happy."
"Morning, Natsu." His friend greeted him back. "What's up with the tree?"
"Err…" The Dragon Slayer scratched the back of his head. "Got a bit carried away with training."
"I thought we had the training dummy in the house for that, though?"
Natsu took a moment to think about a proper reply. He'd stopped using the training dummy ever since they got back from Akane Resort. He didn't use it because it simply wasn't as durable as it used to be, and also because written in red lettering on the face of the thing, was the name Erza.
"Didn't want to wake you up. I couldn't sleep again." Natsu said, not wanting to explain himself. He didn't notice the unconvinced look that Happy had given him though.
"Right," The cat shook his head. "You've been acting super weird, you know."
Natsu glanced up at him and frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You're never around the guild any more. I don't think you've been there since we got back. You haven't even seen the new guild hall yet. And you love the guild!" Happy exclaimed, his tail flicking angrily at Natsu's forehead. He barely noticed the impact, though. "Didn't Lucy and Gray come over to ask you out on jobs?"
The Dragon Slayer had looked down towards the ground. It was true that he'd been visited, albeit briefly, by his teammates in the last few weeks. Lucy and Gray had each taken turns making the walk to his house, and sometimes they'd even come by together. Every single time they'd ask him to come to guild or go out on some job with them, and every time he'd politely declined. Erza had been the only one to not visit him, which had only bothered him somewhat. However he quickly rationalized that she must've been busy handling something S-Class related.
Deep down, Natsu appreciated their concern for him. The fact that they made it a point to check on him and see how he was doing only made him feel rather guilty about it all. But he didn't feel comfortable enough to divulge what he was really thinking about to them.
It annoyed him that both Gray and Lucy could be so nonchalant, that they could simply go back to their normal selves and pretend that everything that took place at the Tower never even happened. Why had he been the only one who was genuinely bothered about how close they all were to dying? That they had been totally caught off guard and placed in someone else's game, to simply be used as chess pieces?
How was he supposed to just ignore it all? How could he go back to his usual, care-free self when he felt responsible for their safety, and that when the chips were down, he wasn't enough to protect them?
"I had wanted to taste the destructive power of a dragon slayer… but this is nothing to fear at all."
He couldn't prevent Simon's death. He couldn't stop Erza from bawling her eyes out. And he hated that he couldn't do anything about it until he'd eaten that stupid lacrima.
"Yeah, they did." Natsu said with no emotion. He didn't want Happy to see the guilt in his eyes. "I've been busy training. We'll go out on a job or something later."
Happy jumped down from the trunk of the oak with his wings. He sat next to Natsu now. The Dragon Slayer knew he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. "They keep asking me about you, and I'm tired of giving them the same answer. Don't you think you should at least go and say hi? Just so they don't have to worry?"
Shit.
Had he been too distant from the guild? Probably. No, he most definitely had been.
Natsu ran a hand through his hair, fighting a battle with his guilty conscience and losing terribly. It wasn't their fault, right? How could it have been? Maybe…
Maybe just a quick visit… I need to eat something that isn't cooked over a campfire anyway.
He looked over at the blue cat sitting next to him. Sometimes, Happy could give a real kick in the ass when it was needed. Natsu felt proud of him.
"I guess we could pop in and grab some food. Maybe go out on a job with the rest of the team if they're around."
"Aye sir!" Happy immediately jumped into the air and pumped his fist out of excitement.
Natsu smiled as he got to his feet and started walking back home with Happy at his side.
Little did he know that today, he would get exactly what he needed.
The peaceful walk through Magnolia had managed to lift his spirits.
Townsfolk were going about their usual business. South Gate Park was as picturesque as ever, and Natsu found himself enjoying the cool autumn breeze paired with the warming rays of the sun. It was pleasant in spite of the fact that his muscles ached incessantly thanks to his rather uninhibited training routine.
After a quick dip in the lake near his house so he could bathe, Natsu had gotten changed into a fresh set of clothes. He wore his usual black sandals and puffy white pants, but chose to forgo the black waistcoat he typically wore. Instead he took the long brown shearling coat that Mira had once bought for him as a gift and slipped it on, pleased to find that it fit him perfectly.
With that, both he and Happy set out into town. He shared the occasional wave with one of the townsfolk who passed him in the street. He was a well-known wizard from Fairy Tail after all. The sight of pink hair was unmistakable to them.
It was around noon by the time he made it to his destination. Natsu was initially surprised at just how… medieval the whole thing seemed.
Happy seemed to like it a lot. But after a few minutes of getting used to it, Natsu admitted that he preferred the smaller scaled version that he'd grown up in. It had given him a homey sort of feeling, and had reminded him of his early childhood with Igneel.
There was a long line of townspeople gathered just in front of the souvenir shop by the entrance. Max gave him a wave, "Hey Natsu! Good to see you."
"You too, Max." The Dragon Slayer said in kind, giving him a nod and letting Max get back to serving his customers.
He pushed open the twin wooden doors easily and stepped inside. Happy glided in the air above him, flying over to the bar where he took a seat.
Sure enough, the rest of the guild was already in the middle of an all-out brawl. Chairs and benches flew through the air. He saw Elfman lift up Nab by the scruff of his collar and throw him against one of the nearby pillars before being hit in the back with a chair by Alzack. The Take-Over mage had almost crumpled to the floor, and managed to turn around and grapple his attacker. It was then that he was hit in the face with a fire blast coming from Macao.
Natsu allowed himself a small, jovial smile before making his way over to the bar to join Happy. He sat down on the closest stool and continued to watch the ensuing chaos in peace.
It wasn't long before Mira had made her way over to him, casually ducking a chair that nearly split against the wall behind her. "Hi Natsu! What can I get for you?"
"Hey Mira," He smiled back at her. "Dealer's choice. I'm starving."
"Coming right up!" The barmaid took a few notes on a piece of paper and went back into the kitchens.
A few moments later she returned with a mug of what smelled like ale to him. "Food is on its way. I brought you this in the meantime."
"Thanks," He took the mug anyway, even if it was impossible for him to get drunk.
"That coat looks good on you~! Glad you finally decided to wear it." She said with a playful wiggle of her eyebrows. "Why the change in wardrobe?"
"Decided to go with something else today."
In truth, he felt he'd grown out of the black and gold vest, and had only picked the coat since he didn't really know what else to wear in the meantime.
Mira posted her elbows on the bar and leaned forward. "So, what have you been up to? You haven't been in here all that much." She said, "This is your first time seeing the new guild hall, right?"
"Uhh… yeah that's right. It looks nice." He took a moment to think before answering. "Training. Recovering. Not much else, really." He paused as he saw the barmaid's unwavering gaze on him. What did she want from him? "Uh… how's the guild doing?"
It was as if he'd flipped a switch with his question. Mira leaned away and beamed. "Oh, everyone's doing well. Jet and Droy are still pining after Levy; Elfman recently renovated our house actually. He's got a client from a merchant guild who he's doing retainer work for at the moment." She rattled off from some invisible list in her head. "Oh! We've got a few more members actually! Some of them you might know. Juvia for instance?"
Natsu was genuinely surprised by that revelation. His view of the water mage from Phantom Lord had changed ever since she'd joined them in their raid on the Tower of Heaven. He liked her, even if she was a bit strange. Then again, all of us are pretty weird. "Really? Where is she?"
"Oh she went out on a job with your team, actually." Mira said off-handedly. "I think they'll be back later today? The job wasn't that far away if I recall correctly."
Damn. He was going to ask about his team next. It sucked to hear that they were already out on a job without him, but Natsu realized that he only had himself to blame. "Well that's… good to hear."
Mira nodded in agreement. "Maybe you'll get to see them? Speaking of which," She leaned forward again. "Have they been visiting you? I assume you've been staying home these last few weeks."
The Dragon Slayer sipped at his ale. "Yeah. Lucy and Gray stopped by a few times. Erza wasn't there, but I guess she's handling S-Class stuff or something."
He noticed Mira's slight frown. "Hmmm… well maybe she'll stop by sooner than you think."
"Yeah. Maybe." He shrugged.
The distant ringing of a bell came up. Mira gave Natsu one last warm smile before heading back into the kitchens.
The pink-haired man simply took another swig of his ale. The cold brew of spices flushed down his throat, washing away the traces of acidic aftertaste left by the bile he'd thrown up earlier that morning.
Moments later, Mira came out holding several trays filled with ribeye steaks, grilled chicken breasts, and servings of fried potatoes sprinkled with salt, olive oil, and paprika. Natsu immediately forgot all about his prior troubles as she set down the plates before him. "Enjoy!"
"What do I owe you, Mira?" He asked, reaching into his pocket for the wad of jewel notes he usually kept on his person whenever he'd go out.
"Not a penny." The barmaid said as she bent forward and kissed him on the cheek. "It's good to have you back, Natsu."
Natsu paused for a moment to process what just happened. He smiled. "Good to be back," he said before tucking in.
The meal, as always, was delicious. Guild food always managed to hit the spot, and was always doused with the necessary portions of pepper and garlic that he preferred. The whole time, Happy was also silently enjoying his company while he munched on a fresh koi given to him by Mira.
In the background, the guild-wide brawl had persisted. It reached its peak when Elfman, Alzack, Jet, and Droy were the only ones left standing. The four of them battled it out until they eventually collapsed from exhaustion, each of them calling for a time out. At the same time, Natsu chatted with Happy and Mira about the town's preparation for the upcoming Harvest Festival, which most of the guild also seemed rather excited for.
By the time Natsu had finished his meal, he'd stood up from his stool and slid a few notes across the bar as a tip for Mira. At first she refused, but Natsu stood firm and said that he wouldn't accept a refusal. Reluctantly, but with a warm smile, she relented.
He turned towards the doors and was about to show himself out when another voice had stopped him cold in his tracks.
"Natsu, wait."
The Dragon Slayer complied with the familiar voice. He looked over his shoulder to see the short and squat figure of Makarov standing by the foot of the stairs leading up to the second floor.
"Gramps? What's up?"
"Would you care for a cup of coffee, my boy? There's a small matter I wish to discuss with you. In private."
Natsu tried to find an excuse to say no. But the cool stern look in the old man's eyes told him that it might've been best to accept his offer. "Okay… but not for long."
Makarov grinned. "Perfect." he gestured to the stairs. "Right this way."
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…
All was silent within the small box-like office except for the constant serene tick of the grandfather clock.
Makarov sat in the chair by his desk. On the opposite side of the room by the door was the long brown leather couch and an accompanying coffee table. A small wisp of steam floated up into the air above the table, its source being the hot cup of coffee that sat before Makarov's guest.
Sitting on the couch was Natsu. He sat upright rather confidently, though he avoided Makarov's inspecting gaze by looking calmly around the room.
The guildmaster of Fairy Tail had taken note of the boy's appearance. It was without a doubt, different compared to when he'd last seen Natsu. In fact, calling him a boy anymore might've been premature.
For starters, Natsu was clearly leaner than he'd been ever before. Erza had mentioned that he hadn't been eating much. His spiky salmon hair was several inches longer, just about neck-length. Where Natsu's features had once been almost boyish, he seemed to have aged almost half a decade in the last month alone. There were even faint traces of a small stubble along his chin and jawline.
And his eyes! Makarov could see the difference in Natsu's onyx eyes. There was that faraway, detached gaze that was looking for something. Far different from the present, energetic boy who always managed to light up people's faces around the guild, the same boy whom Makarov saw as practically his own grandson.
Time to go to work, Makarov thought.
"Natsu, my boy." He got the Dragon Slayer's attention. "A few weeks ago, just after you and your team returned from Akane Resort, Erza came to inform me of what took place there."
It was a subtle enough way of breaking the ice, but it worked. Understanding dawned in Natsu's eyes.
Makarov continued. "She spoke very highly of your efforts at the Tower of Heaven." He was somewhat dismayed when his indirect compliment had no effect on the boy. The old man decided to get to the point. "She also informed me that you kept to your room and largely avoided her and the others. Is there anything you would like to tell me regarding this matter?"
Natsu glanced at the floor for a few moments. Makarov could see the gears turning behind his eyes. After a few moments, the boy shook his head rather plainly. "No."
So you're going to be difficult about this, then? Makarov sighed. "Natsu, you can trust me. I swear that I will not divulge what you say here to anyone. Is the issue at all regarding your duel with the former councilman, Fernandez? Because-"
The guildmaster was almost shocked as he saw Natsu stand sharply from his seat on the couch and make for the door. "Sorry Gramps, busy schedule today."
Makarov knew he couldn't let that happen. Not when his suspicions had been so suddenly confirmed. "Natsu." He said with as much authority as he could muster into his voice.
It worked. The Dragon Slayer had halted his advance on the door, his hand just inches away from the handle. He turned his head and looked at Makarov.
"If you have any care at all for your friends, you will take a seat and listen very carefully to what I have to say. Do you understand?"
Silence filled the gap soon after. It seemed as if hours had passed by between the two of them.
Slowly, Natsu began to withdraw his hand from the doorknob. He made his way over to the couch again and sat down. His eyes did not meet Makarov's.
It was clear that he'd struck a nerve in the boy. Deciding to take something of a calmer tone, Makarov sighed, and leaned forward only slightly so that his elbows were posted on his desk.
"Erza told me everything that happened. But that is besides the point. What concerns me is this rather… withdrawn behavior coming from you these last few weeks. If I am not mistaken, today is the first day in almost a month that you've appeared in the guild. I do not need to tell you why this may seem out of character to your fellow guildmates." He said. "I would like to know why. If only so that I may be able to help you."
Natsu's only response was to stare a hole into the floor. Why wasn't he responding?
Perhaps he doesn't want to make it anyone else's problem?
Makarov sat back in his seat and sipped at the mug of black coffee in front of him. The immovable object that was Natsu had presented something of an unexpected challenge thus far. But the aging guildmaster was not about to give up.
A flash of inspiration came to mind right then. He was reminded of another young man from years ago who had once been in a very similar situation to Natsu. Yes… perhaps that might work. And it would also allow him to gain Natsu's trust in the same instance.
He set down the porcelain cup onto his desk, making sure it had been loud enough to get Natsu's attention. "What I am about to tell you cannot leave this room." His statement had the intended effect. Natsu looked up at him then and matched his gaze. "Do you understand?"
The boy was confused, but curious as to where he was going with this. He nodded, albeit reluctantly.
Makarov sighed. Don't hate me for this Gildarts. "Years ago, long before any of you brats joined the guild, Gildarts had been our only S-Class Mage. Back then, he was far more eager to prove himself-much like you are for that matter. He was a good soul, of course. Always kind to those of lesser power in the guild. I remember him being rather prone to personal insults, however. He was also rather reckless, and quick to anger."
If Natsu was being reticent before, now Makarov had his full and undivided attention. The boy bent forward and listened rather attentively.
"It was his first S-Class Mission, I believe. He was contracted by the Magic Council to find an artifact called the 'Crown of Absolution'. He was also paired up with an S-Class Mage from Lamia Scale, a young woman named Irina." Makarov explained. "She was about a year younger than him, I think. They got along rather well for the most part, especially in spite of the competitive rivalries between our guilds. It wasn't long before they found out where the Crown was being kept. A dark guild had been using it to control a great sea serpent which had been terrorizing the northern coastlines of Fiore, by the Whirlpool Sea."
"Why?" Natsu asked. Makarov might've grinned now that he was getting the young man to engage with him.
"Plunder, unfortunately." The old man had said. "The Whirlpool Sea is a rather popular trade route. The dark guild in question had known this and used the Crown and the Sea Serpent to destroy trade ships. Later they would loot the wreckage at the bottom of the sea. One of their numbers was a water mage if I remember right." He waved his hand aside, getting back on track. "Both Gildarts and Irina found the guild and the Serpent. While Gildarts was eager to fight off the Serpent, Irina had suggested they instead focus on the guildmaster. Gildarts refused and fought the beast regardless."
He continued, still remembering the defeated look on Gildarts' face after he came back from that job all those years ago. "Suffice to say… despite his best attempts to protect her, Irina was killed. Gildarts slew the beast and defeated the guild in control of it, but…" He spread his hands out. "He wasn't quite the same afterwards. He blamed himself for Irina's death, and while he was able to move on from it, I don't think he ever forgave himself for what happened to her. It was that day that he decided to change who he was at his core, so he could grow into the man he is today." Makarov said.
Natsu, for his part, only wore a deep-set frown as he stared into the coffee table.
Makarov knew. Now was his chance.
The old man looked squarely at the Dragon Slayer sitting across the room from him. "I know you blame yourself for what happened at the Tower. Just as Gildarts blamed himself for what happened to Irina. But my boy, you cannot let yourself be consumed by those feelings. They will destroy you." He said. "I am not asking you to let go of the anger you feel, I am asking you to use it, to channel it, towards a higher purpose; to become the best possible version of yourself."
And with that, the old man finally leant forward, placing both of his hands flat against the table. "Now. Tell me everything."
The floodgates had opened from there. Makarov listened attentively as Natsu told him what had happened from his point of view. Everything. His battle with the owl assassin; him interrupting Jellal's ceremony; and even when the boy had eaten the Etherion.
The young man's emotions were by far the most powerful when he'd mentioned the death of Simon, Erza's childhood friend. Natsu had coiled his hand into a fist and brought it hard onto the coffee table, ratting the porcelain cup and spilling coffee onto the wood.
"It's like I was punching air, Gramps." He said with a cold snarl. "He was fast. Too fast. And no matter what I do… I can't get his voice out of my head. I keep hearing him even when I try to sleep at night. He keeps saying, 'I wanted to taste the destructive power of a Dragon Slayer, but this is nothing to fear.'" Natsu ran a hand down his face. "There wasn't anything I could do. Felt like I was letting down Igneel just because of it."
Sounds about right… Everything that Natsu was saying completely tallied with Makarov's suspicions. The boy felt he was insufficient, even if the Dragon Slayer was easily one of the most powerful wizards in the guild. Makarov wouldn't even have been particularly surprised if Natsu was a notch above Erza by this point.
Regardless, this was a clear issue for him. Especially with his comparison to a mage who was far older than himself… Natsu needed guidance. He had the makings to transcend the level of even a Wizard Saint, but he needed to be pushed in the right direction…
"You believed that eating the Etherion… it was the only way out?" The old man asked.
Natsu nodded. "Yeah… there wasn't any fire around… so I chose the next best thing." He shook his head. "And then I beat him."
And then I beat him… the words had been said with about as much disdain as the boy could muster. Makarov knew the feeling of shame all too well. He'd been a young man once upon a time as well. For Natsu, however, it would've been amplified a thousandfold.
There were many more people for him to disappoint…
"And you feel that if you were strong enough, that the Etherion wouldn't have been needed?" The old man asked again.
"Yes." The answer was instantaneous. "If I was as strong as Gildarts, then I could've saved Simon. I could've stopped Jellal sooner. Maybe then Erza wouldn't have had to cry."
Ah… there it was.
"Natsu." Makarov started as he sat back in his chair. "You must understand that Simon made his own decisions. Simon, for his part, chose to sacrifice himself to save both you and Erza. His death is not your fault."
"But-"
Makarov cut him off with a slight wave of his hand. Time for the clincher. "I'm not finished." He said sternly. "Allow me to give you yet another example." He sat back as he collected his thoughts. "In the last few weeks alone, Erza has shown improvement with regard to how she's previously carried herself in the guild. She has been sociable, often speaking with others outside of your team, such as Levy and Macao. She has since ceased wearing armor as well, and is now taking part in regular guild activities. Not to mention, her skills as a leader have benefited greatly. All because her demons have been put to rest. All because of…" he pointed a bony finger out at the young man sitting across from him. "You."
The pink-haired man had raised his eyebrows out of surprise. Makarov continued. "Going by your logic, Natsu… Erza's growth, not simply as a mage but as a woman, is also your fault."
Natsu said nothing in reply. He sat there, almost dumbfounded by the revelation.
Makarov decided that playtime was over. He'd open this young man's eyes even if it was the last thing he'd do. "Erza was once buried in her mistakes. In her past. I remember a time when she wouldn't even dare speak to anyone else in the guild… but thanks to you, she was able to finally move past all of it." Makarov said with a warm, thankful smile. "Now, my boy, it is up to you to do the same for yourself. The anger you have been given is a gift, truly it is. But you must take care with it. Don't use it to punish yourself unnecessarily, to avoid those who cherish you… instead use it to grow stronger for their sake. And for yourself as well. Do you understand?"
It took a moment for the Dragon Slayer to respond.
On the opposite side of the room, Natsu's mind was a whirlwind of rampaging thoughts and ideas. He never truly considered the flip side of things; that even though he'd made mistakes, that he had really made a positive difference in the end.
Erza was alright. She was safe. So were the rest of his friends.
He looked down at his hands, glossing over the bruised reddened knuckles on his fists.
What the hell had he'd been doing? Staying away from them, at least?
Natsu stood up from his seat on the couch. He would be better. He had to.
That said… Natsu knew he couldn't avoid his friends forever… but something had to change. He just couldn't go back to the way things were before.
But what would that change ultimately be?
Deciding he needed time to think about it on his own, he resolved to head home. Tomorrow, he would come in early and go out on a job the first chance he got with his friends. By hook or by crook, he would make it happen. "Thanks, Gramps."
"Not at all, Natsu." The old man shook his head. "That's why I'm here."
Just as Natsu made to leave, another idea had come to Makarov then. Perhaps… would it work?
"Natsu, just a second." He said as he took a sheet of paper from the stack by the corner of his desk and scribbled a few words onto it with his pen. Once he was finished, he held it up, offering it to the boy.
The pink-haired man had come over with a confused look on his face. He took the paper and read out loud what was written on it. "'To change my life, I need…'" He looked down at Makarov. "What's this for?"
"Consider it a… test of sorts. I'd like you to finish the sentence on the page. Not now, of course. Give me your answer in a few days' time. For now, I suggest you head home and take a couple of hours to mull it over."
"But-"
"No buts, Natsu." Makarov said sharply. "Just humor an old man this one time. Answer truthfully. Search within yourself when you do. I look forward to seeing what you come up with."
After a few moments, Natsu had nodded, folding the sheet of paper and tucking it away in his coat. "A few days… Friday sound good then?"
"Friday."
For the first time in the last month alone, Makarov had seen that oh-so familiar wide, beaming grin on Natsu's face. "Alright. See you later, Gramps."
"You too, Natsu."
And with that, a rather hopeful-looking Natsu clicked open the door and shut it closed behind him.
Makarov let silence fill the room for a few moments, before he downed the rest of his coffee and found himself staring into the wide photo which had been sitting on his desk.
In the frame stood six teenagers standing in front of the old Fairy Tail guildhall. Written in the bottom left corner was the date, "X736" From left to right, there was Goldmine, Bob, himself, Rob, Yajima, and Porlyusica.
The guildmaster had found himself looking directly at the blonde-haired youth who stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the group. There was a cheshire grin on young Makarov's face. The very same one that he'd just seen on Natsu not even a few minutes ago.
"Hmph!" He chuckled mildly. Those were the days…
He was quickly brought back to reality by the ticking of the grandfather clock. Makarov resumed his frown from before and sighed heavily.
Makarov knew he wasn't getting any younger. If anything, the guild war with Phantom Lord had told him that he was reaching his limits. Perhaps it would be best to retire soon enough. Hand off the responsibility to the younger generation. Maybe not now, but… it was possible he could keep it up for another year or two before passing the torch…
The old man shook his head. He'd figure out who his successor would be later on. Right now, however, perhaps there was something he could do for Natsu. Makarov sensed that the boy was lost, and that right now, what he needed was someone to show him the path forward. If all went right with the test he'd given Natsu, then Makarov knew that the young man would be off to a fantastic start. And yet…
Makarov had been mentored by Precht back in his youth, which he supposed had been because Precht had practically been a second father to him. Ideas began to meld and form. As if something had snapped into place within his mind, Makarov reached over and snatched another sheet of paper from the corner pile, setting it down in front of him. The old man got to work, jotting down the thoughts which continued to poke and prod at him.
Before he knew it, an hour had passed by. And the single sheet before him had turned into two and then five. The longer the list had gotten, the more he thought about it, and the more optimistic Makarov felt concerning the potential for Natsu.
It was precisely an hour after Natsu's meeting with Makarov that Erza Scarlet and the rest of her team had arrived back in Magnolia Town.
The Knight had walked at the head, since she was more or less their unofficial leader. Behind her, Lucy and Gray walked on either side of her, and they were separated by a rather prim and proper-looking Juvia.
The Water Mage had been invited by Gray to join Team Natsu as a temporary member, since Natsu himself had been AWOL for the last month or so. Largely so Juvia could get accustomed to guild life within Fairy Tail. So far, she seemed to be enjoying it. Even if she occasionally sent glares directly at Lucy whenever the blonde would get a bit too close to Gray for her liking.
Erza, for her part, was simply happy to be back in town. A part of her was somewhat let down that the job they went on had gone so smoothly-a duke located just outside of Hargeon had some thieves rob him in the night. Though finding the thieves had proved to be incredibly challenging, ultimately they'd been able to find the tricksters and take them into custody, retrieving the duke's stolen collection of priceless paintings in the end as well.
It wasn't so much that everything had gone so well, just that it lacked that… chaotic flair which tended to make most of their jobs quite interesting. And fun, for that matter.
Whatever the case, at least she'd soon be back at the bar within the guildhall munching on a well-earned slice of strawberry cheesecake.
"Well, I'm quite proud of how well we handled that robbery job!" Lucy said out loud, not really paying attention as some passersby gave her odd looks when she'd said that. "Zero property damage… and our reward didn't get slashed in half this time around! I can pay my rent for the next two months!"
Gray snorted back a laugh. "Yeah well maybe now you can stop nagging us."
"Hey! I'm not a nag!"
"Juvia thinks Lucy-san has also been complaining quite frequently about her rent payments being due." The bluenette spoke up from Gray's side, getting an amused smirk out of the Ice Make Mage. "She was rather vocal about it when Erza-san and Gray-sama were speaking with the client about his stolen paintings."
"Juviaaaaaaaa!" Lucy groaned. "I told you that in confidence…"
Erza stopped listening to their ongoing conversation and focused on where she was going. She had long since accepted the small, individual quirks of her teammates. It was the least she could do, since she knew full well that she had some of her own. And having someone as boisterous and outgoing as Natsu tended to get one accustomed to the strange.
The group of four soon found themselves in front of the massive, castle-like structure of the guildhall. Just as always these days, Max had waved to them again before they walked inside.
The guild was quieter than yesterday. It was Tuesday, so Erza knew that plenty of their members were out on jobs. That and she knew that the annual S-Class Exams would be coming up in December. Perhaps some mages were even gearing up so they could get nominated.
Unlikely… She knew that was something of an optimistic view of things. Most mages only went out on so many jobs in the weeks leading up to the S-Class Exams. Which, ironically, is what kept so many of them from getting promoted in the first place.
"If you want to be a successful wizard… look at what everyone else is doing. Now do the opposite." Erza still remembered that bit of sage advice she got from Master Makarov way back when she first joined Fairy Tail. She'd taken it to heart. She worked hard, and had gone above and beyond. Everyone else only took jobs when it was easy money, or when there wasn't much required of them. Erza deliberately sought out more difficult jobs, even when she wasn't busy, or when she didn't even feel like it, and had risen through the ranks because of it. Sure enough, she'd made S-Class by the time she was fifteen years old.
If you wanted to be S-Class, you had to put in the work. You had to be consistent about it, too. It wasn't simply a matter of rushing through as many jobs as you could right before the trials were about to start. When you were S-Class, you needed to set an example for other mages. That's just how it was.
"Guess everyone's kind of just hanging out today," Lucy shrugged from her side. "Tuesdays are pretty slow, I guess."
"Hey guys!"
The four of them turned to see the platinum-haired Mirajane waving them over from behind the bar. She wore a beaming smile on her face. Sitting on the bar next to her with a fully grilled haddock in his mouth, was Happy.
Happy? But if he's here, then… Erza didn't know why her heart had tingled at the prospect of seeing Natsu again, but it did. She didn't bother arguing with it. She simply waved back at Mira and walked over to the bar.
"Good afternoon, Mira." She greeted the barmaid in turn. "Has business been slow today?"
"It was a bit rowdy earlier, but thankfully everyone's gotten it out of their systems."
Erza nodded. "I agree." She looked down at the blue cat who was munching happily on his grilled fish. "Happy, how are you?"
"Irmgh drrrrgth hraaaaagth!" Came the cat's muffled, enthusiastic response.
Rude… Perhaps it was time to teach Happy some basic table manners.
"You know, Happy… it's impolite to speak to someone when you're eating." She said, unconsciously giving the cat one of her sternest glares yet.
Her veiled threat had had the intended effect. Happy quickly gulped down the chunk of haddock he'd been chewing on and took the rest of the fish out of his mouth, giving a rather nervous laugh as he did so. "Heh… I-I'm s-sorry Erza!" He quickly held up his fish to her in surrender. "I'm doing great! B-but would you like some fish? Mira made it for me just now!"
"No, thank you." Erza said as she slid into the stool directly across from the barmaid. The others had followed her example and corralled around the bar.
"You know, you guys just missed Natsu." Mira said as they all got comfortable. "He was asking if you went out on a job or not, and left after he found out you guys weren't here."
Erza felt her heart tug internally. A pang of guilt seeped into her mind. Maybe if they'd waited for him? Then-
Gray had scoffed. "Classic flames-for-brains… idiot comes around when we're already out on a job."
"Is he alright?" Lucy asked. Erza could feel the worry in her voice.
"Oh, he's doing fine." Mira nodded with a smile. "In fact, I'd say he's fully recovered! He ate up a storm and then he went to go speak with Master Makarov. After that he left. Though he did say he'd come back tomorrow."
Lucy sighed. "Well that's a relief." She said, "Every time I went to visit him, he was so distant. It's good to hear he's coming back around."
"Yeah, no kidding." Gray muttered, looking sheepishly out at the guildhall. The Ice Make Mage was secretly happy that Natsu had come out of his isolation, but he wouldn't dare admit it to anyone. No, he'd take that admission to his grave if he had to.
"What did you say, Gray-sama?" Juvia had asked from his side.
"Nothing!"
Erza for her part had only paid attention to the middle portion of Mira's explanation. "Then he went to go speak with Master Makarov…"
Does that mean…
Master Makarov had told her he'd be looking into the matter. If he and Natsu spoke… then surely he must've figured out what was going on with Natsu… right?
Erza sincerely hoped so. But another part of her knew that even trying to get answers out of the old man would've been like pulling teeth. He was notoriously tight-lipped when it came to the personal matters of others. Especially those within the guild.
"Well, I'm gonna go home. I'm tuckered out." Lucy said. "See you guys here tomorrow?"
Gray dipped his head in acknowledgment. "Yeah yeah, see you, Lucy."
"Bye, Lucy-san." Juvia said.
Erza had been too preoccupied with her thoughts to wish Lucy a good evening, but it hadn't even mattered. Happy decided to go with Lucy and stary at her place for the night. Not soon after, Gray said he wanted to go take a dip in the indoor swimming pool on the guild premises, and Juvia had obviously offered to join him.
And then there was only one…
"So Erza…" Mira's excitable smile seemed almost devious now that they were alone. "What have you been up to?"
"Err… nothing as of late." She said, "You mentioned that Natsu came and spoke with Master Makarov?"
"Yep! They were up in his office for a good long while. Natsu came out looking like he'd just won a million jewel."
"And…" Erza looked abashedly down at the bar. "Did he… ask you about anything? Besides us being out on a job, of course." She added hastily.
Mira seemed to take her sweet time thinking of a proper answer. After a few moments she pursed her lips and gave Erza a rather lopsided smirk. "Well… he didn't really talk much… though he did mention that his team had been visiting him occasionally. Well, except for you."
Erza Scarlet felt the blood drain out of her face. She knew exactly where the Demon was going with this. Damn her! Damn her straight to hell!
In truth, Erza felt an incredible sense of guilt for not having visited Natsu in the last few weeks. Out of paranoia that she might do or say the wrong thing, and from no small amount of procrastination on her part, she simply didn't know how to best approach him. The whole time, she'd rationalized that Master Makarov had told her to leave Natsu alone in the meantime. That he'd come back when he was ready.
And he had, hadn't he? So why did she… Why did she feel so rotten about it all?
She couldn't share what was said in her private meeting with Master Makarov, could she? No, it was far too personal for Natsu. Deciding that she couldn't, Erza said the next best thing that came to mind. "I… just haven't gotten the chance to go see him."
The Knight knew it was a lame excuse. And she knew that Mira wasn't about to let her off the hook that easily. Erza could see it in the Demon's eyes right then.
"Please, Erza." Mira shook her head. "You haven't gone out on a single S-Class job since you got back from the resort. If anything, you've been more relaxed than ever."
"Know what I think?" She asked, leaning in. "I think you're just too emotionally distant to go see him and support him." Mira leaned back and shrugged nonchalantly. "It's either that, or you've got some sort of weird crush on him that I didn't know about."
Erza did not know why she'd reacted so strongly to that last line. She immediately stood to her feet, not even aware that her cheeks had taken on a pink tint. "I do not!" She said, furious that the barmaid would even suggest something so… so… so ridiculous! "Now, if you'll excuse me, Mira, I think I'll be heading back to Fairy Hills for the day."
Mira shook her head. "But don't you want to go see Natsu first?" She said with a twinkle in her eyes. "I think he would reaaaaaaally appreciate it if you went to visit him. You know… at his house?"
"He's still recovering. It wouldn't be polite for me to intrude-"
"Come on, Erza~" Mira beamed. "You could just drop in and say hi… that's all you would need to do…"
The rational, thinking part of Erza's mind tried to whirl away, attempting to concoct any sort of excuse to get out of it. The amount of internal resistance she felt towards going out to Natsu's house, all the way out in the middle of the woods, was astounding. It was probably enough to completely alter the course of the sun.
Natsu was surely trying to recover. He probably just came in today because Happy had asked him to… or something. Erza knew that the last thing he needed was to see her, the one person who'd always been there to ruin his fun whenever he picked a fight with Gray or participated in one of the classic guild-wide brawls.
And hadn't she been the reason why he was sick in the first place? He'd eaten the Etherion for her! He'd gotten involved in that whole mess with the Tower of Heaven because of her! It was her fault that he was suffering right now…
What right did she have to go visit him? What right did she have to… to…
Natsu would do the same for you, wouldn't he?
That damned traitorous voice had spoken up again. The part of her that wasn't thinking rationally, but from the heart…
Erza felt her fingers dig into her palms. Damn it all! "Fine…"
"Yay!" Mira clapped again. She had definitely pretended not to notice Erza's outburst when she prodded the redhead about having a small crush on Natsu. Mira decided she would keep that little tidbit tucked away for further teasing later down the road. And also because her matchmaker side had flared up mischievously in the back of her mind. "You need a good housewarming gift then! Maybe a bottle of firewhisky should do the trick! Natsu's always liked the stuff. Oh, or maybe some food? I don't know, something-"
"Mira…" Erza decided to interrupt the barmaid before she really started rattling off the list in her head. The Knight had come to a decision on what she would share with Natsu. She would keep it simple.
"...could you… give me a slice of cake? To go?"
About twenty minutes later, Erza Scarlet found herself walking through the foothills in the eastern forest.
It was, by all means, a lovely autumn afternoon. The leaves and surrounding foliage had only just begun to turn red and orange. Then there was a gentle breeze blowing through the air, which had lightly brushed away the stray locks of hair in front of her eyes.
Erza unconsciously fiddled with her blue skirt with one hand while she held the boxed up strawberry cake in the other. The whole time, as she was marching up the hill, she found herself thinking back on her exchange with Mirajane.
I do not have a crush on Natsu, that would be preposterous, she thought rather angrily to herself. Where did the Demon get off making such absurd accusations like that? Maybe Mira should become a comedian.
No. Natsu was a… friend. Yes. He was a friend. A very close, very dear… friend. There were absolutely zero romantic feelings for him in the back of her mind whatsoever. None, without a doubt. Nothing. Zero. Nada.
In fact, as Natsu's house soon came into view, Erza decided that she would actually keep her intrusion on his life rather brief and cool. Anything to prove that Demon wrong. She would knock on his door, ask him how he was doing, hand him the cake, and then leave. Keep it simple stupid. That was the general rule. Yes, that's the way to do it.
Erza had only ever been to Natsu's house the one time. It had been just after he'd built it when they were younger. To see it still standing was a testament to his skills as a carpenter and as a stonemason. If he hadn't been one of the most destructive mages she'd ever known, then Erza figured that Natsu might've done well with his own construction company.
The roughly plowed dirt pathway led up to a lopsided oval-shaped wooden sign that simply read, 'Natsu & Happy' in neat cursive lettering. Erza figured that he must've gotten Levy to write it for him, since Natsu couldn't care less about his writing skills.
A few more steps later and Erza found herself standing in front of the dark oaken door. She glanced up at the top left corner of the building and sweatdropped when she saw a large tree branch sticking plainly out of the white plaster exterior. Maybe this place needs a little fixing up after all… While it certainly wasn't pretty… Even Erza had to admit that the rough shape of the building gave it a certain charm.
Remembering why she was there, Erza hesitantly raised her fist to the door. Just as she was about to knock, she heard the latch click from the other side. Sharply, the door swung open.
Natsu stood on the other side of the doorway. He glanced down at her with tired onyx eyes, seeming totally unsurprised about her being there.
"What's up, Erza?" He asked.
"Uh… I…" Erza Scarlet cursed herself right then and there.
She hadn't even seen him in a month. Internally, Erza knew it was difficult for someone to actually change their physique in such a short span of time, but Natsu seemed to have pulled it off.
He looked buffer than he did before. Leaner too. His muscles seemed to have gotten bigger during his self-imposed exile in the woods. He must have been training night and day. Then there was his hair. Erza noticed that his locks of spiky pink hair had only gotten longer. Now it looked more like a wild, untamed mane that spilled over in all directions.
It had taken her less than a second to completely forget the script. And to totally forget why she was even there in the first place.
"Uh…" She started, an idea beginning to form. "H-how did you know I was coming here?"
Natsu tapped his nose as if it had been obvious. "I could smell you and hear you about half a mile up the trail." He said easily. "You were saying something about Mira, I think?" He shrugged. "Honestly, I wasn't really listening." He looked down at the item in her hand. "Cake?"
Feeling her nerves begin to pound some sense back into her mind, and trying to ignore the fact that he'd actually scented her out on her way up here, Erza decided to get down to business. She shot out the hand holding the boxed up cake towards him. "Right. This is for you, Natsu." She said coolly, albeit unintentionally. "I didn't know what you preferred, so I got you my usual order."
He looked down at the white cardboard box and accepted it. "Err… thanks, Erza."
"Of course, Natsu." She said, remembering that it was proper for one to be polite.
Much to her chagrin, Natsu didn't even reply to her off-hand comment. He simply nodded with a shit-eating grin. Meanwhile, Erza felt herself begin to boil in the awkward silence that followed.
Minutes seemed to have passed by as the two of them stared at one another. Erza desperately tried to find something to say, something to continue the conversation perhaps. Nothing came to her rescue. Damn it! Why was she making such a big deal out of this? I'm just bringing him cake, nothing else!
Again, she felt her mouth open. "I… also wanted to apologize."
"For what?"
"For not coming to visit you." She explained. "I know Lucy and Gray came to check up on you. But I didn't… it was unbecoming of me. I should have been there for you while you recovered your strength."
Natsu looked at her for a moment. The gears behind his eyes were turning, spinning, reflecting. What was he thinking about? And more importantly… What was he thinking about her?
She didn't know. Instinctually, she felt the need to flinch under his gaze. For a man who was often too loud and boisterous… Natsu had surprised her with just how intense he could really be.
Then again, it certainly wouldn't have been the first time she'd been forced to change her perspective on him.
After a moment… he smiled at her. A warm, genuine, beaming smile.
"No harm done, Erza. You brought me your favorite cake, so let's just call it even."
How? How could he just be so… carefree about it all? Erza had dreaded the possibility of him cursing her for it. She hadn't been a good teammate after all. And he was only sick because of her. Should she ask him to hit her? That would make up for it all in the end, wouldn't it?
The redhead fought the urge to do so. She'd already been told countless times by Lucy that asking to be hit for making a mistake was… well… not exactly something most people were sold on.
"Of course," She nodded, deciding to change the subject. "Mira also told us you stopped by the guild earlier today. Since we just missed you, we wanted to know if you'd like to go out on a job with us tomorrow?"
She didn't know why she'd asked, especially since she already knew he planned on coming back tomorrow regardless. And because they didn't even have a job planned. Get it together, Scarlet. Now!
"Sure," Natsu grinned warmly at her. "I gotta talk with Gramps, first… but I wouldn't mind tagging along so we can crack some skulls together."
Erza felt herself smile back at him. "Wonderful." She said, "I'm sure the others would be delighted." It was then that her instincts told her to leave. Now, and quickly. "Well… I'll be seeing you at the guild. Later, Natsu."
She stepped away from the doorframe and swiftly turned her back to him. Erza made it a point to march briskly down the path, back past the oval wooden sign and onto the dirt-gravel road once again.
Just as she was nearing the treeline, she was stopped by his voice again.
"Uh… hey, Erza!"
The Knight came to an abrupt halt. She turned sharply to look at him. "Yes?"
"You're a class act. You know that?"
She didn't know why, but she felt a slight, tingling sensation in her chest when she heard those words go in through her ears.
Her reply was instinctual. "You're welcome, Natsu." She said, before giving an awkward dip of her head and turning back around.
Erza Scarlet never heard the door close behind her. As she walked back into Magnolia Town, she felt as if there was a spring in her step.
And she wasn't even aware that she was blushing.
Author's Note:
As you can see, Natsu is finally getting past his "angry-at-himself" phase.
But that doesn't quite mean that the hardships are over for him. Boy's about to go through hell
Also, I feel compelled to mention that Gajeel is not a member of Fairy Tail in this story… not yet at least. He'll be back, but don't think his induction into the guild will be as 'seamless' as it had been in canon. That is, if you were curious about him not being there at all.
See you at the next one. Cheers.