Satan Claus
Author's Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of the Beyblade series.
Summary:
Bell is paying for shooting down Santa's sleigh.
Up on the housetop reindeer pause, out jumps good old Santa Claus
Down through the chimney with lots of toys
All for the little ones, Christmas joys
Ho ho ho! Who wouldn't go? Ho ho ho! Who wouldn't go?
Bell snorted. Who wouldn't go?
He wouldn't go!
"Will Satan Claus please make his way to the launch area? Runners off the ground in two," Ranzo spoke his grating impatience – no, his annoyance – over the speakers.
"I'm already here, Ranzo!" Bell poured all his lung strength into volume, limbs wiggling comically under an enormous sack of toys in the sleigh next to Ranzo.
A rocket sleigh.
"Oh! There you are! Now's no time to be playing, Bell! We're on a tight schedule!"
"No duh!" the Demon King's muffled reply dripped with venom and sarcasm. "Get this thing off me, will you?"
"Certo, certo. Who knew anyone could be such a slavedriver at Christmas?"
As if hanging a star and ornaments in his hair to turn his hair into a Christmas tree wasn't humiliation enough.
"You try delivering toys to all the good boys and girls around the world for hundreds of years!"
"Bell, this is your second year filling in for Santa Claus. And I doubt Santa mistreats his staff."
Last holiday season, Bell nearly didn't deliver all the gifts in time. Jiji's bones weren't cut out for the cold, which is why this year, Bell appointed (more like kidnapped) Ranzo, so he'd have sturdier help.
"Of course, it's sugar smiles during workplace inspections, but…" Bell mulled telling Ranzo that Santa was as bossy as Wakiya.
"Quit yacking and grab the reins!"
"How about you stop talking and GET THIS THING OFF ME?"
"Oops. Right." Ranzo finally took the bag off Bell. "How'd you get under there?"
"I was looking for Jiji's chocolate bear paws."
"…and the bag fell on you. Got it. The Demon King is such a kid."
"Shut up! Let's get going, head elf!"
"I'm sure Santa is over the Christmas tree he has you to do his job. He's been out of commission with a broken back up at the North Pole thanks to you."
"I swear, you ruin Christmas ONE time by firing a jolly-seeking missile at Santa Claus' sleigh to find out if he's real or not, and you're paying for it for the rest of your life!"
"Didn't you shoot him down over some rocky mountains? You're lucky you didn't kill Rudolph!"
"What is it with you and Christmas?"
"I'm a big believer in Christmas." Ranzo sucked the flavour out of the candy in his mouth. In cane form instead of his usual sucker.
"RANZOOO, who's first on the list?"
"Pax and Pri." Ranzo checked the list. "Huh. I was with Pax and Aiga last week."
"You were?"
"It's funny. A part of me feels like Pax hasn't been out for fast food in years. When we got some, he ordered a meal they no longer offered."
"Pax must've been mad."
"The sour face he gave, he might begin his second villain arc!"
"So tell me again why I'm bringing him a gift and not a lump of coal?"
"Have a heart, Bell. It's the holidays."
"I have one. Wanna see?" Bell reached into his cape under his other arm, pulling out a squeeze toy for dogs in the shape of a human heart and squeezing it.
Squeak, squeak!
"Save the pranks for after we circle the globe, amigo!"
"All right, Ranzo, but I want my socks back."
"But I hung them by the chimney with care!"
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through Hell's Gate, not a Blader was Blading, not even the Demon King or his festive slave.