Author's Note: First of all, Merry Christmas! I hope each and every reader's family is well and having a wonderful holiday season!

Now, a note about this story. I have really tried to insert some fun, fluffy elements into this story, but my family has been through a lot of difficult things the last few months, and I typically write how I feel. I didn't want it to be as dramatic or heavy as the other stories, but it's been difficult. We were victims of violent crime, we lost someone very close to us, and I'm still grieving from my loss last year. I've been in counseling, and I think the best thing is to get back to writing. It really is therapeutic for me. But sadness actually affects creativity (It's true! I read a study) which I believe has affected my ability to continue the story. I'm working on it, truly. Thank you for your patience!

I say all of that to say, if you're looking for fluff, you're probably not going to find it here. Like I said, I'm writing how I feel. I'm not going to start killing off characters or anything. It's mostly just drama. If that is your thing, great! If not, please remember there are a ton of good, fluffy stories out there. My Less Than 19 Years Later series is pretty fluffy I think. But this won't be it. Not for now at least.

Now, here is an extra long update. Consider it your Christmas present from me. :)

August 27, 1995

The warm sun was shining down all around him, but, tucked into the shade between two trees, he was enjoying the cool breeze that swept over his skin as he swung slowly. His mind cleared as his ears focused on the cheerful singing of the birds in the trees overhead and the stream running a few meters away. With each passing second, he relaxed more and more as the soft fabric of his hammock morphed to his body. Sirius was just about to drift off into a peaceful nap.

"Dad!" Harry shouted.

Sirius was so startled, he temporarily forgot where he was and attempted to shoot to his feet, resulting in the hammock twisting and dumping him out onto the dirt below.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked tentatively as he shuffled over.

Sirius groaned, rubbed his hip where it had hit the ground and stood up to look at his son. "I'll live. What's going on? Why are you shouting?"

"I said your name like five times," Harry told him, poorly suppressing a chuckle. "I think you might have been asleep." Behind him, four muggle teenagers were also fighting the urge to laugh at Sirius's misfortune.

"I was not," Sirius replied defensively, but as Harry just continued to stare at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, he was forced to admit the truth. "Ok maybe I was. Those hammocks are quite comfortable."

That was true, but Sirius was on the verge of complete exhaustion from their camping trip. Just like Sirius and James had, Harry quickly found friends in the other campers around them. Knowing that he would be at Hogwarts with Harry had lessened Sirius's need to have his son to himself. What he did not anticipate was how tiresome it was going to be to try and keep up with active teenagers that spent most of their days hiking, swimming, or biking. That was enough to wear out anyone, but then he and Harry had stayed up late each night laughing, playing games, telling ghost stories, and just relishing their time together. Sirius was thrilled that Harry was enjoying his first camping trip as much as he was, but the father was just about dead on his feet. "Anyway, what's up."

"I was just telling you we were going to walk down to the creek and go fishing," Harry answered.

Sirius nodded, pleased. Fishing was safe enough that he felt comfortable napping while the teenagers went on their own. "Ok, you have your…"

"Yes," Harry answered quickly.

"Ok, but be back by six please."

Harry nodded and disappeared with his friends, fishing pole in hand. Sirius smiled to himself as he settled back into the hammock and reflected on the trip they'd had. He was completely unsurprised to see that Harry loved fishing just as much as James. He was a natural at it too. The fish bit so well for the boy that Sirius nearly accused him of secretly accioing them out of the water.

Perhaps it was simply because the boy had been exhausted each night, but Harry hadn't had a nightmare on their trip either. Sirius knew Harry was worried about going back to Hogwarts and having his friends realize his sleeping woes, so he was praying the pattern continued.

Sirius closed his eyes as he thought about the friends Harry had made here. Harry's athleticism was not limited to just a broom; he could easily compete with the other kids in football too, earning him respect and friendship with the boys. Two girls hung around them most of the time too. One of them, Emma, clearly had a crush on Harry with the way she watched him and flirted, but Harry was oblivious. Sirius suspected that fact had something to do with a redhead in Ottery St. Catchpole.

Though Harry did enjoy spending time with the other kids, he also at times declined their offers in order to spend time with Sirius. Sirius smiled to himself as he remembered the childlike fascination Harry had with the little creatures, such as squirrels, butterflies, and turtles, they found along the nearby trails. His fifteen year old son didn't seem quite so grown when he was calling out, "Dad, look at this!" and Sirius cherished every time he heard the title.

It was with those happy thoughts that Sirius once again drifted off to sleep.

…

While Sirius was reflecting on the joyous week they'd experienced, Harry's week was about to turn sour.

"Potter, can I ask you a question?" Daniel, one of the muggle boys Harry had met at the campsite, asked.

Harry shrugged. "I suppose," he answered as he cast his rod into the stream.

"How'd you get that scar on your forehead?"

Emma gasped, and Oliver, Daniel's best friend that was camping with him, smacked his friend's arm. "Don't be a jerk."

Daniel blushed, but Harry shook his head like it wasn't a big deal, though inwardly his stomach was doing flips. "It's fine. Uh, a car accident." He winced, mentally kicking himself for not being able to come up with something better than the lie the Dursleys had told him for ten years.

"Oh how terrible!" Emma exclaimed. "Were you hurt badly?"

"Er, no," Harry answered, growing uncomfortable. "Just the scar. I was a baby. I don't really remember it."

"I'm sorry, mate," Daniel apologized. "I was just curious. Thought maybe you had some cool story or something."

Harry waved off his apology and reeled in his line. "Don't worry about it." Feeling a little better, he added, "I wish I could tell you I got it fighting off a crazed madman or an evil wizard or something, but it was just a boring old car accident."

The group smiled at him and the boys returned to fishing until an awkward silence set in. All of the muggle teenagers could sense something was different about Harry, though none of them could quite figure what it was. For one, he didn't talk about his school or his friends or his mum at all. That, they supposed, wasn't particularly unusual. He could just be a quiet or private person. But there was also the fact that he and Sirius seemed incredibly close, even at the age when all of his peers were working to push their own fathers away.

Sirius also seemed oddly protective, though they all liked him well enough. He was genuinely funny and kind, and he never inserted himself into their activities, but he usually stayed close by. Each time Harry did leave with the kids, there was the odd exchange about Harry having something in his possession that Sirius never actually named. Harry always said he had it, but what it was he never shared with the other kids. Finally, another girl in their group expressed her own curiosity.

"Where did you say you go to school, again?" Alice, Oliver's sister, asked.

Harry didn't meet her eyes. "I don't think I did." After a few seconds, he could feel their eyes on him, and he turned to look at her. "Uh, Stonewall High." Sirius had always told him he was a terrible liar, but he hoped he was convincing enough right now.

Alice didn't seem convinced. "Right. And what does your dad do?"

"What's with the interrogation?" Emma interrupted, giving her friend a stern look.

"I'm just curious," Alice said defensively. "We don't know much about him."

Harry chuckled, though he couldn't mask the hint of nervousness. "He's a teacher."

"Oh! At your school?"

Harry nodded. "Yes."

"What subject," Alice attempted, but was interrupted by the other boys.

"That must suck," Oliver commented. "Can't get away with anything."

"Doubt it," Daniel countered. "Your dad seems brilliant."

Harry chuckled and shook his head as the two boys debated further. Once they quieted, Harry had the feeling of the others staring at him again, but he just continued to fish, pretending he didn't notice. He was always the subject of others' fascination in the wizarding world, and it was annoying to him that he couldn't seem to escape that even among muggles.

Emma and Alice exchanged a look. "So, um, what about your mum?" Alice asked.

Harry swallowed, now deliberately not meeting any of their eyes. "She uh…she died."

Emma sucked in her breath. "I'm so sorry."

Harry managed to meet her eyes. She at least seemed sincere. "Thanks."

"In the car accident?"

Harry's throat was tight now, but he managed to nod. "Yeah." He began to figure that this was like a bandaid; he needed to just rip it off, get it over with. Maybe if he could feed their curiosity, they'd stop asking so many questions. "My dad too. Sirius actually adopted me."

"Oh man," Daniel responded uncomfortably. "That's uh…It's uh…"

"Great," Harry finished for him, now smiling. "It's great actually. I mean, not that my parents died, but Sirius adopting me is the best thing that ever happened to me. He's a brilliant dad. I don't really remember my parents, but Sirius was my dad's best friend, and he tells me all sorts of things about them. And to answer your other questions, he teaches history, and most of the time I like having him at school with me. He's my best friend. But yeah, sometimes it sucks too I guess. He can be pretty strict about some things."

"I get that," Daniel answered. "My mum is crazy about my grades. I can't imagine how bad she'd be if she were at school with me."

"Well, my mum will be pleased to know that Sirius is single," Alice announced, rolling her eyes. "She hasn't stopped talking about him since she saw him."

Harry was reasonably disgusted by that fact. "Well, he's not married, but he is dating someone. They're pretty serious."

"And how do you feel about that?" Alice asked anxiously. Harry had learned during their week together that she was a person who loved scandal and gossip. She reminded him of Rita Skeeter, and he was equally annoyed by her questions.

"I don't know. It's good I guess," Harry answered with a shrug. "I mean, I like her. She's cool."

"Well that's good. My stepdad is an arse," Alice replied.

"He's not an arse when you're not a brat," Oliver chided.

The siblings bickered for a moment while Harry continued to fish quietly, pleased the discussion had moved away from him and his life. He hadn't really been listening until Alice's words caught his attention.

"All I'm saying is that things changed when Mum got married."

Harry frowned. He knew Sirius wanted to marry Amelia, but their nuptials weren't exactly an immediate concern. But he and Sirius had had a wonderful week together, and the thought of their relationship changing in any way unsettled him. He hadn't exactly acted rationally when Amelia moved into Grimmauld Place. How would he handle her living at their house?

You've had Sirius all to yourself for two years now, he mentally chided himself. Can't you share him? But as much as he wanted to be open to that, he couldn't help how the idea spooked him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a fish biting his line. He focused on reeling it in and held it up proudly.

"Damn, you're good at that. How do you do it?" Oliver asked.

Harry leaned against a rock and smirked. "Magic."

….

"I still can't believe you did that," Harry told his father, his tone a mix of disbelief and amusement. "What if you'd been seen?" he further inquired before sticking a strawberry biscuit in his mouth.

Sirius snorted. "You mean, what if one of your muggle friends thought they saw your dad turn into a dog? I'm afraid that would be more of a problem for them than me, kid."

Harry rolled his eyes.

After about an hour, fishing had grown boring to the teenagers not catching any fish and swimming had become a much more desirable activity. Harry was still annoyed at their questioning, but he figured what fish he could catch would be scared off by their splashing, so he shed his own t-shirt and jumped in. They'd begun a very makeshift and amateur game of water polo when they heard barking in the distance.

Harry didn't need to look to know the source of the sound. Before his eyes could fully focus, an enormous black dog had jumped in the river with them, spraying the teenagers with water.

Padfoot swam between all of them, fetching a stick that Daniel had pulled from the water a couple of times before enjoying an ear scratch from the girls. Finally Harry had told the others that Sirius had probably sent the dog to bring Harry back to their tent and that they needed to go.

"Wait, he's yours?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah, his name is Padfoot," Harry told them, giving the dog beside him an especially stern look.

"How have we not seen him all week?"

"I, uh, I don't know. He's been around," Harry answered with a shrug before dressing again and hurrying off, Padfoot on his heels.

Sirius already had dinner ready when they returned to their tent. Outside, their campsite looked like any typical muggle one. They had camp chairs set up around a fire that always seemed perfect, along with various equipment scattered around.

Inside the tent though, there was a kitchen, small dining table, bathroom, two bedrooms, and a spacious living area with large, comfy sofas. Harry had insisted their camping trip be as muggle as possible, but Sirius had grown used to certain comforts, so they had compromised. Everything outside the tent was muggle (except the fire, but Sirius hadn't told Harry that). Everything inside, magical.

Now Harry was leaning against a cabinet and nibbling on fresh baked biscuits while his father washed the dishes from the dinner they'd just enjoyed.

Sirius smiled. "You were late. I figured you'd prefer Padfoot retrieving you over me."

"Oh yeah, sorry," Harry told him, his hand moving to fidget with the watch he wasn't wearing at the time. "I took my watch off to swim."

Sirius shrugged. "Not a problem. Truthfully, I was just getting hungry. If you want to go back and spend your last evening here with your friends now that we've eaten, you may."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'll just stay here."

Sirius's forehead wrinkled in concern. "Are you sure? You didn't really have a chance to say goodbye. We'll have to leave first thing in the morning."

Harry nodded. "I'm sure."

Sirius finished the last of their dishes and turned to his son. Harry hadn't exactly been quiet during their dinner, but he also hadn't been as talkative as he had been most of the week. Sirius sensed something was bothering the boy. He picked up the plate of biscuits Harry was eating from and gestured toward their living area.

"Is something wrong, Son? Did something happen with your friends today?"

The truth was that Harry was deeply bothered by their earlier innocent questioning. For one, he hadn't been prepared for their questions and found himself forced to mimic the Dursleys' lies, which he hated. But Alice's comments had him bothered the most, and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about them. He and Sirius had promised each other no more secrets, so eventually he'd have to express his concerns to his father, but he wasn't quite ready yet.

He looked at Sirius. "Yes, but I'm not really ready to talk about it right now. Is that ok?"

Sirius couldn't hide the worry on his face, but he agreed. "Of course. But you'll talk to me when you are ready?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah."

Sirius squeezed his son's shoulder encouragingly before moving them again toward their couch. "Ok then." But as they sat down together, Sirius was alerted again. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Harry wince as he sat on their sofa. "Are you hurt?"

Harry looked surprised that Sirius even noticed, although that shouldn't have been a shock to him at this point. Sirius's senses were finely tuned to Harry's needs by now. "Yeah, just a bit sunburnt."

Of course Sirius was instantly concerned. "Sunburnt? Did you not wear sunscreen when you went swimming earlier?" he asked as he stood and began searching through their supplies for a balm.

Harry nearly rolled his eyes. "I didn't expect to go swimming. We went fishing, remember? It's not that bad."

Sirius ignored the last sentence as he removed a tube of green gel from their bag. "This should help. Take your shirt off, and I'll rub it on."

"I'm really fine, Sirius."

"Harry," Sirius replied warningly.

Harry sighed and obeyed. "You act just like a mum sometimes," he teased his father as he stood in front of him.

Sirius smirked for a moment. "Trust me, kid, your mum would have been way worse." His face then took on a melancholic expression, though Harry couldn't see with his back to his father. After a quiet moment he added, "I wish you could've known her."

That comment brought his earlier conversation back to the forefront of Harry's mind. He had a question he wanted to ask Sirius but didn't know how, so he just stood quietly and let his father finish applying the balm. He had to admit that the cool liquid felt good on his hot skin. When Sirius gently patted his arm and told him he was done, Harry threw his shirt back over his head and looked at his father tentatively. "Do you think my mum would have liked Amelia?"

Though Harry's voice seemed casual, Sirius knew there were many other questions loaded into that one. "Are you asking if they would've been friends or if she would approve of her as a mum for you?"

Harry looked like a robber caught in the act, his face looked so guilty. "Both…I guess."

"Well," Sirius began as he sat down again. "They certainly would have been good friends. Amelia is a lot like your mum. Fierce, passionate, kind. I think they would've gotten along very well." He watched Harry nod before he continued. "And I think Lily would have approved of anyone that loves you like Amelia does."

Harry nodded again but otherwise didn't speak.

Sirius cleared his throat softly before he asked the next question. "Do you ever wish you had a mum?"

Harry suddenly looked at him and Sirius could instantly tell his son had taken that question to mean do you ever wish you had a mum instead of me.

"I mean, Pup, do you ever wish you also had a mum?" he hurried to clarify. "In addition to the world's best father?"

Harry smiled and shrugged. "I guess every kid wants to have a mum. But, I don't know. I've been so long without one, I'm not sure what it would be like to have one. Does that make sense?"

Sirius nodded sadly. "It does."

"Also," Harry continued, fidgeting nervously with the bottom of his shirt, "I like things the way they are. I'm not sure I would want them to change." He chanced a glance up at his father, silently praying the man understood.

Sirius cupped his hand on the back of his son's head and smiled, looking directly in Harry's eyes. "I like things the way they are too, Pup. Ok? Nothing is changing anytime soon."

August 28, 1995

The hammock at their campground proved so comfortable that Sirius installed one in their backyard. Though Harry had loved camping, he'd also gone a week without flying as a phoenix or on a Firebolt, and he was itching to get into the sky as soon as they arrived. Sirius couldn't deny his fly-happy son the pleasure any longer, so he asked Dobby to finish up their packing for Hogwarts while he watched his son streak through the air…

Mostly.

"Sirius!"

Once again, Sirius jerked awake, twisting in such a way to at least lessen the force of his fall as he found himself tangled in the hammock. Before he could right himself he was again dumped onto the ground, hitting his elbow on a rock below.

"Damn it, Moony! Why are you shouting?" the very frazzled friend growled as he stood up, rubbing his aching elbow.

Remus chuckled. "I tried to get your attention more subtly, but you seemed to be in a pretty deep slumber." His laughter didn't abate even as Sirius realized his elbow was bleeding. "Would you like me to heal that for you?"

Sirius glared at him. "I'd like you to tell me what the hell you want before I hex you."

Remus smirked before he gave the reason for his surprise visit. "I wanted to talk to you and Harry about something. I figured you two would have been at Hogwarts already, but when I checked your quarters, you weren't there."

Sirius shielded his eyes that were still adjusting to being awake as he looked up into the sky, scanning for his son. "Yeah, well Harry hadn't flown in a week, so he wouldn't let me leave until he got in the air." He twisted as he searched for his son. "Where is he, anyway?"

Remus looked up as well. "Am I looking for a phoenix or a teenager?"

"Uh," Sirius rubbed his forehead. "A phoenix, I think." He was having trouble remembering what had been going on before he drifted off to sleep. Camping had been thoroughly exhausting, but now his heart was starting to pound with worry.

"There," Remus said, pointing over the forest behind their house. "He's coming this way now."

Sirius let out a long breath, feeling thoroughly relieved as the phoenix flew over them. "What do you need to talk to us about?" he asked, summoning two lounge chairs for them.

Remus took a seat and got comfortable before answering. "I was thinking about Harry's panic attacks. Has he had one recently?"

Sirius shook his head. "Not for a couple of weeks. He's been sleeping well too."

"That's good," Remus commented. "But I was thinking, you know his last one was when you grabbed his arm. He said it reminded him of Peter grabbing him right?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm worried that being in my class this year might remind him of being there too. Once we break into groups and defensive spells start flying. I can only imagine how that could make him feel."

He hadn't thought about it previously, but now Sirius winced as he thought of the possibilities. Luckily, Remus had that tone in his voice that suggested he had a plan. "You're probably right. What are you thinking?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I think it may be beneficial for Harry and I to do some private lessons again, similar to what we did before the third task. I'll stress him a bit, and that might make it easier for him during class."

"You really think that will work? I mean, it's one thing to be one on one with your godfather. It'll be completely different when he's in a class full of students."

Remus shrugged. "I won't go easy on him. It won't be particularly pleasant, but I think it's the best we can do."

Sirius nodded his agreement and glanced at his watch. They really did need to leave for Hogwarts soon. "Well, let's call the boy down and ask him what he thinks."

…..

Andromeda Tonks walked into the new living quarters of Harry and Sirius at Hogwarts. Her son-in-law and his best friend were seated at their table, poring over lesson plans and time tables, putting the finishing touches on their plans for when classes started. Harry, on the other hand, was lifting heavy boxes and moving them to different rooms. The boy looked tired and he was covered in dust, as if he'd been made to clean the place before they moved their things.

Andromeda raised an eyebrow at her favorite cousin and son-in-law. "Can someone explain to me why Harry is doing all this work, when we all know you two could easily do it with magic?" she asked with obvious disapproval.

"Ah, that is because Harry is learning a valuable lesson in listening to his father," Sirius replied casually, barely glancing up. "Are you all settled in? I know a teenager that could help if not."

Harry glared at his father, who completely ignored him, as he lifted another box, but his glare quickly morphed as he looked over at Andromeda, who had turned her look of disapproval on him. However, her stern expression only held for a moment before she smiled at him and walked over to sit beside her cousin. "I do not believe that sweet boy is capable of such mischief."

Sirius snorted. When he and Remus had tried to get Harry's attention, the phoenix version of his son just continued to soar around. The father considered it was possible that Harry simply didn't see him, but once he had pulled his wand out and used a sonorous charm on himself only to watch the phoenix continue to fly, he had to conclude the boy was plainly ignoring him. He was explaining this to Andromeda when his son returned to the room.

"Did you ever think I simply didn't hear you?" Harry asked irritably.

"No," both Sirius and Remus said together, neither of them looking up from their work.

Further protestation from the teenager was prevented when their floo chimed unexpectedly, bringing with it the surprise of not only Amelia, but Tonks as well.

"Oh good, you're both here," Dora commented, quickly giving her husband a hug. "Hi Mum."

"Hi sweetheart. This is unexpected. Is everything ok?"

Sirius stood up, surprised but pleased to see his girlfriend, but before he could greet her, she looked him directly in the eyes. "We need to talk." She glanced over at Remus as Dora added, her voice shaky, "We need to talk to both of you."

Harry entered the room again after depositing a box in Sirius's study.

"Hi Harry," Amelia said as confidently as possible. She met Sirius's eyes with the slightest shake of her head before turning back to the boy.

"Hi Amelia. What's going on?" Harry replied. He could almost feel the tension in the room, making him instantly worried.

Andromeda stood up. "Harry, can I borrow you to help in my classroom for a while? I have some cauldrons that need a good scrubbing."

Harry's shoulders instantly fell, but Andromeda caught his eye and winked at him. He figured there wouldn't be much cleaning involved, but he really wanted to know why his father looked so worried. He looked at Sirius, who nodded.

"Go ahead, Son. I'll come get you in a little while."

Harry, recognizing defeat, nodded and put his trainers on. Once he and Andromeda had left, Amelia spoke again.

"You two should probably sit down."

Remus moved to do so, but Sirius stood firm. "What the hell is going on, Amelia?"

Amelia sighed. She took Sirius's hand and looked him in the eye again. "Peter Pettigrew died."

….

To be Sirius's favorite cousin, he and Andromeda had spent very little time together since he was released from prison, and she'd spent even less time with Harry. The teenager felt a bit awkward as they walked together towards the potions lab, but his curiosity beat out his shyness.

"Do you know why Amelia is here? And Tonks?"

Andromeda shook her head. "I have no idea. I'm sure Sirius will tell you when he comes to pick you up."

Harry frowned. "I don't think he was expecting her today."

"No, he wasn't," Andromeda confirmed. "He and Remus and I were going to go over our lesson plans together actually."

Harry tried to push his worry away and make conversation. "Is there much overlap between History, Defense, and Potions?"

His new professor chuckled. "Well no. But Remus was going to update us as much as possible about what you have been learning the last two years. Professor Binns has proven not very helpful for Sirius, and Professor Snape didn't leave much guidance for me either."

Harry snorted. "He wouldn't."

Andromeda refrained from commenting on that, instead pointing to a stack of cauldrons in the corner. "You can work on cleaning those."

Harry's shoulders immediately slumped again, though he resisted the urge to groan the way he would have had his father given the order. He was hoping he was getting a reprieve from manual labor, but that didn't appear to be the case. He was so lost in his own self pity that he almost didn't hear Andromeda speak again.

"Don't look so down. I didn't say you couldn't use magic to clean them."

Harry immediately perked up. "Really?"

Andromeda smiled at him. "Of course. Do you know the spell?"

"Sirius has shown me a couple of times," Harry confirmed.

….

Silence hung in the air. Nobody moved or said a word for a long while, until eventually Remus spoke slowly. "You're sure this time?"

Tonks put her hand on her husband's leg. "Yes, we found his body this morning. He just couldn't seem to handle Azkaban anymore."

Sirius hadn't said anything, hadn't moved really. The only evidence that time hadn't completely stopped was the soft ticking of the clock on the wall.

He really had no idea how he was supposed to feel. Two years ago, when he'd first escaped from prison, he would have killed Peter without a second thought. That urge grew as Peter continued to help Voldemort hurt his son, but then Peter had shown up at Hogwarts and warned Harry about the third task. Why he had done so, Sirius had never quite understood, but he couldn't deny that Peter could have been the reason Harry was alive today.

Plus, they had been friends at one time. Very good friends, almost like brothers. Peter had gone through the animagus transformation with them, had been by their side for seven years, which was probably why his betrayal of them all hurt even more deeply. At one time, Sirius had loved him, but that was before. Before he caused Lily and James's death. Before he caused Sirius to spend 12 torturous years in a living hell. Before Harry was left alone.

No, Peter may have helped Harry, but Sirius still hated him for everything he'd done.

So then, why did this feel like another loss?

Sirius shook himself. "Well, he deserves it," he managed to say hoarsely, not looking any of them in the eye.

Amelia shifted so she could see his face. "It's ok to be upset. He was your friend."

"He was never our friend," Sirius snarled.

Amelia backed off, but Remus had a bit more experience with a surly Sirius. "But he also possibly saved Harry's life," he interjected. "Whatever else he was, he at least did that."

"Well then you throw him a fucking funeral then," Sirius snapped back.

"Sirius," Amelia said quietly, trying to sooth him.

"I didn't say he was a hero," Remus retorted loudly. "I'm just acknowledging that I am grateful for the one kindness he did for us in the last 15 years. Harry is alive…"

"Harry is alive because of us! Us and the entire Order!" Sirius shouted. "And because he's a damn good wizard for a fifteen year old, and because…" his voice broke, and he shook his head, fighting back the tears. Nobody spoke, instead giving him the opportunity to compose himself. Finally he looked up. "Peter did us one favor, but don't you dare give him credit for saving Harry. Voldemort wouldn't have even been able to get to him if it wasn't for Peter. I'm glad he's dead. There are some people for whom hell is not quite hot enough."

Remus held up his hands in surrender. "I see what you mean, Padfoot, and you're right. All I'm saying is that you've told Harry countless times that he doesn't have to apologize for his feelings. I'm just telling you that you don't have to apologize for your feelings either."

Sirius humphed but otherwise didn't respond. Cautiously, Amelia interrupted their exchange.

"Unfortunately, how Peter is remembered is the least of our worries right now. His death… complicates things."

Sirius looked at her. "What do you mean?"

Amelia twisted her hands together as she spoke. "He was the only witness against Dolores Umbridge. Without his testimony, I'm not sure how we're going to convict her."

Now Sirius was furious. "What do you mean you're not sure how you're going to convict her? You said all of the death eater trials were over, Amelia!"

"They are," Amelia defended herself, though not very firmly. She felt absolutely awful, and somehow responsible, about what was happening. "Dolores Umbridge wasn't a death eater. She's just an evil, wicked woman."

Sirius cursed several times. Even Remus let out a few choice words. Once his outburst was complete, Sirius turned back to Amelia. "So, what does this mean, exactly? She won't go to prison for having Harry delivered to Voldemort?"

Amelia bit her bottom lip for a moment before answering. "I…I don't know. She's in prison now, where she will hopefully stay until she stands trial, but…"

"When is her trial scheduled?" Remus asked.

"September 14," Amelia replied, completely defeated. Sirius wasn't even looking at her now.

"How strong is her defense?" Remus questioned while Sirius continued to sulk.

Amelia sighed. "Honestly? Strong. She's awful, but there are unfortunately a lot of people at the ministry who agree with her on many issues, and even more people who are completely terrified of her. The fact that she worked with Fudge and he's been in disgrace should help, but I don't know if that will be enough."

"What happens if she's not convicted?" Remus continued, chancing a glance over at his brooding friend before turning his attention back to Amelia. "Surely she wouldn't be your undersecretary."

"No, but she'd probably get some kind of position at the ministry. Some sort of reprieve for being unfairly imprisoned. She'll make my life a nightmare, that's for certain, whether or not I remain the minister."

"Not to mention continue to try to kill my son," Sirius growled, finally turning his attention back to them.

Amelia drew back like she'd been slapped, but she understood how hard this must have been for Sirius and chose not to angrily respond. Even if he didn't want to admit it, Sirius was hurting. "We won't let that happen, Sirius."

….

It didn't take long for Harry to realize why Andromeda was Sirius's favorite cousin. As he cleaned the cauldrons and she brewed a few potions for the hospital wing, they chatted about life growing up with Sirius. His father never really talked about his life before he moved in with the Potters, but Sirius's boyhood had been filled with mischief and pranking before he ever arrived at Hogwarts and met his best friend, much of which Andromeda had helped with. Soon Harry had almost forgotten that something was going on with Sirius and Amelia back in their quarters.

Almost.

After a pause in their conversation, Harry tried again. "So, you have no idea what's going on with Sirius and Amelia?"

Andromeda looked up from her potion. "No sweetheart, I have no idea."

Harry sighed before cleaning another cauldron.

"Can I ask you something, Harry?"

Harry looked up. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

Andromeda put down the spoon she was using to stir. "Why didn't you come down from the air when your father was calling you?"

Harry's cheeks colored.

"Oh, I'm not getting on to you," Andromeda rushed to reassure him. "Merlin knows Nymphadora gave us all kinds of trouble as a teenager, far worse than a few extra minutes of flying. I just find it interesting that you didn't come down so you could get to Hogwarts. Don't you like school?"

Harry frowned as he thought it over. He wasn't really sure why he had disobeyed his father, other than he just wanted to fly. "Yeah, I like school a lot. I just…I don't know. I guess I wasn't ready to leave, that's all."

Andromeda hummed, and Harry didn't know how to take that.

Even though he had said he liked school, he actually wasn't overly happy to be back at Hogwarts. Something just didn't feel quite right about it, and Harry couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly. If he was honestly assessing himself, he would have realized the achy knot that had twisted in his stomach had started as soon as they had arrived back at Hogwarts, but he wasn't quite self-aware enough yet to understand that. All he knew was that he wasn't ready for his summer holiday to end.

Hadn't he and Sirius had an amazing time camping? Wasn't it normal to not want fun things to end? Yes, that had to be it. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to Hogwarts. He just didn't want to leave home yet. The thought of sharing Sirius with Amelia had spooked him the day before, and now he wasn't ready to share him with a school full of students either. He was honest enough to admit that, at least to himself…in his own head. Never out loud, of course. But it was true nonetheless.

But really, truthfully, when he thought hard about it, he couldn't deny one thing: He did not want to be back at Hogwarts.

He just didn't understand why.

Andromeda had pretty extensive training in psychology, and she began to figure that maybe there was more to Harry's disobedience than simply not wanting to come down out of the sky, but she also knew it may take some time for both the father and the son to realize that.

It suddenly occurred to Harry that perhaps Ted Tonks had told his wife about the panic attack he'd had in his exam room, and that might be why she was asking now. Maybe now she thought Harry was mental or something. "Did uh…did your husband tell you that he's my Healer?"

Andromeda smiled encouragingly. "No, he didn't. He doesn't tell me things about his patients, but Sirius did mention it to me."

"So you know about…you know?"

"No, I don't know," Andromeda told him, giving him her full attention. "You don't have to share anything with me you're not comfortable with, Harry. I was merely curious."

Harry nodded. "Well…I have trouble sleeping sometimes. I have these horrible nightmares, and I guess I'm just worried that I'll have them when I am back in the dorms." There, that was a perfectly reasonable cause for not wanting to return to Hogwarts, and it was much less embarrassing than admitting he was concerned his classmates would witness him have a panic attack.

Andromeda opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say anything, a tawny owl flew into the lab and dropped something on her desk.

"Is that your owl?" Harry asked curiously, happy for a chance to change the subject.

"No," Andromeda replied, picking up what had been dropped. Harry could see vaguely that it was a copy of The Daily Prophet. "Just a delivery owl. Seems there's a special evening edition of the Prophet today. Something big must have happened."

Harry walked over and read the headline over her shoulder.

Ex-Undersecretary to the Minister Dolores Umbridge Released from Azkaban, Claims Wrongful Imprisonment