Happy holidays to everyone reading this thing! Here's my horrible gift to ya'll. Enjoy!

Chapter 14 - You are the waters filling my lungs (Killing me softly without a word)

The wind billowed gently through the white flowers, a loving caress upon their soft petals.

The wind blew slowly and harshly, the ashes floating in the air softly burning all it touched.

"Lord Ge-"

The man stopped his charge from advancing with a hand that fell to rest on his sword as his eyes rested on the enemy.

"Thank you…" The prince uttered softly, before the man drew his sword, back straight and proud. A wall, between the danger and his mission.

His right arm held his sword. Firm grip ready. His left hung loose, relaxed and warm

"Lord Ku-"

The child outstretched his arm, stopping his protector from stepping forward, eyes falling to the standing corpse in front of them.

"... I wish there was another way." The prince spoke haltingly, life still seeping from his stomach in red.

"It's okay." The man said, stepping forward with sure and cautious steps. He drew his sword with a fluid motion, falling into a stance burned into his muscles.

His right hand gripped his sword tight, prepared for anything to be thrown his way. His left hung in the air, anticipating its need to be used and cold.

The breeze stopped flowing.

The ashes stopped flying.

"One last time."

"AAAAAARRGHGRGH!"

His body jumped upwards with the choking scream, falling out of the bed and hitting the ground with a loud noise.

"FUCK!" Nathan held onto his left arm as he writhed on the floor, unimaginable pain traveling through it. The world blurred with the tears falling from his eyes, white flashing from the pain.

Hands pushed his body so he was lying on his back. Through it all he was able to see Harry and Neville leaning over him, expressions full of fear and worry being bathed in the dim moon's glow.

"What happened?! Are you okay?!" Neville asked with a trembling voice. Harry was looking at his arm, trying to see what was wrong with it.

Nathan closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself. It helped little, he noticed when he opened his eyes, but it would have to do. "I'm fine." The disbelief was clear to see on his friend's face. He could now see the rest of his roommates standing behind the two boys. "I just fell down on an awkward position." He slowly got up, muscles spasming with pain. "Hurt my arm a little bit. It'll be fine."

His dormmates all looked skeptical. He didn't blame them, he isn't putting much effort in convincing them. It wasn't even convincing himself. "Im sorry for waking yall…" He apologized lamely, walking through the group to get to the bathroom, still holding his throbbing arm.

His reflection was horrible. Fat tears streamed from black rimmed eyes, down a sickly pale face contorted in agony, falling into bleeding lips he had bitten.

He looked like a corpse.

His arm hadn't stopped trembling for a second, spasming erratically as he looked down at it. Pain pulsated from the point where the man was cut. Right above the elbow. The thought made him nauseous. He turned the sink on to splash his face with water.

Only one of his hands came up, and he looked dreadfully at his unmoving arm. It would not budge, no matter how much he willed it. Panic built up in his chest, and he fell into the wall behind him before he could collapse, sliding down towards the ground. With head lying on his knees he closed his eyes as hard as he could, and started taking deep breaths.

For a long while he sat, his shaky breaths the only sound in the small space. In, out. In. Out. Over and over he repeated to himself. Hoping the panic would subside. Hoping the pain would stop.

He didn't know how long he'd stayed in the bathroom, but when he stepped out, the sun had already risen.

"I'm sorry, uh, Mr Winters, but I couldn't find anything wrong with your arm." Madam Pomfrey said, a puzzled look on her kind face. "I recommend you don't put much strain on it, and come back tomorrow if it gets worse." She turned to a cabinet beside her, opened one of the drawers, and retrieved a potion, offering it to him. "Drink this. It will alleviate the pain."

Nathan took the phial with a shaky hand, putting it down on the table to uncork it with one hand, before downing it. "Thank you…" He said with a trembling voice. The matron took back the phial, a sympathetic look on her face that made him a little angry. I don't want your pity. I want you to help me!

The woman stood, entering a side room, leaving Nathan to his thoughts. The potion would probably not work, just like the last one she had given him. He brought his working hand up to his face, rubbing it tiredly.

The medic came back, surprise on her face. "You are free to go Mr Winters."

He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. With a deep breath, he asked the question burning in his brain. "Are there any updates? On the… memory thing?" His whispered words came out weakly, and he hated how small he sounded.

Her expression became even more sympathetic. His anger vanished into a pit that suddenly opened in his stomach.

"I'm sorry.." The woman started, before hesitating. He felt like he was back in the bathroom this morning. "I have found almost nothing on what could be causing this."

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn-

"Rest assured, I will continue to look for a way to cure you." Her assurances rang hollow in his ears.

Nathan stood dazedly, not understanding. Afraid of understanding. He stepped out of the room, walking aimlessly. Pain still radiated from his arm. He was pretty sure he had read that most potions took effect immediately.

After a whole year playing catch up the moment of truth had arrived. The first exam was about to start, and Nathan felt far from ready.

Countless hours studying and practicing, numerous books read. Pages and pages of notes taken. All in vain.

His head throbbed with a dull pain, pulsing in rhythm with his heartbeat. His eyes, glued to his table, struggled to stay open with exhaustion. His body felt like it was failing him, right when he needed it the most.

And his arm-

His good hand flew to grip it as pain flared through it, agony filing his whole being for a moment, his eyes falling shut with such force that stars danced in his vision when he next opened them.

A sheet of parchment had been laid on his table, and he jumped as a loud sound reverberated through the room, eyes roaming every place he could see, almost afraid of what he would find.

There was nothing.

With a sigh, he grabbed his quill, and started his work.

Three questions in and he already couldn't focus anymore, head feeling like it was swimming in liquid. His fingers, weak with weariness, lost more and more grip on his quill.

A faint buzzing sounded in his ear, and he froze, going so still that even breath stopped coming to his lungs. He closed his eyes as his body started shaking. Agony exploded from his arm, and for a moment he contemplated cutting it off.

"Put your quills down, please!"

His eyes flew open at the words, immediately seeking out McGonagall retrieving the tests from students.

Tension bled out of his body as the woman grabbed the parchment from his limp hands, the adrenaline leaving his body so suddenly that all his energy left along with it.

He stayed seated with head down, good hand rubbing the tears from his eyes, before he stood up and followed the students that had stayed till the end of the test out of the room.

His legs shook with each step, and his vision blurred and focused periodically as he stepped into the corridor, walking aimlessly.

Nathan sat hunched on the window sill, drawing whatever came to mind, his guitar sitting beside him.

He knew he should've been revising for his next exam, but with how utterly spent he was feeling it would just be wasted effort.

As his hand slowly went through familiar motions on its own, he felt a little bit of his exhaustion slip away; Body feeling lighter, eyes less weighed down.

Before he could even remember he needed two hands to play the guitar his feet had already taken him to his little getaway, straight after the exam, when he was supposed to be eating. His stomach had churned at the thought. He wasn't hungry.

The sound of a pencil being scratched into paper with more force than necessary filled the still air. He hummed a familiar song, the sound being the only thing that could come out of his throat through the pain.

But that was fine. Anything but the silence.

That's fine. His eyes unfocused, fingers pressing the pencil even harder on the sheet. I'm fine-

Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggg

His eyes flew open on instinct, and he immediately regretted not reigning in his knee-jerk reaction.

A field of flowers expanded before his eyes, all white like the lunar tear he once held in days past. The moon hung high in the dark sky, but also so close he felt he could touch it with just a jump. Its eerie glow rivaled the light of the sun, illuminating the world and making the flowers glow.

A man stood across the field, skin dark and burned in patches, long hair flying in the wind. The sword in his hand glowed ominously, pain and suffering radiating from it.

Even from the distance, Nathan could see his eyes perfectly.

They were alight with hatred.

"...wolf…"

His head snapped in the direction of the weak words, muscles screaming in pain at the sudden move. In his arms lay a boy, pain clear to see on his face. His bloodied hand raised in the air, reaching for Nathan.

His hand took the kid's on their own, and he noted how white his arm looked. The boy smiled at the contact, body sagging in Nathan's arms, and more blood seeped from the wound in his chest.

"Thank you…"

On his knees in the cold stone floor, Nathan took great gulps of air as he finally regained control of his body. He curled over the guitar that appeared on his hands, his grip so tight he was sure something would break, either his fingers or the instrument.

"Shit…" He muttered with head bowed, tears falling down his face and mixing with the blood spilling from his nose. With the last shred of awareness in him he moved Hermione's scarf out of the way, letting the dirty liquids fall to the floor.

Out, out, out. He chanted in his mind as he stood on trembling legs, leaving the guitar on the floor and hurriedly gathering his things. OUT! He ran out the door, slamming it shut behind him, and losing himself in the maze of corridors.

The second exam of the day passed by too fast and not fast enough at the same time.

With nerves shot, Nathan struggled to write the answers down with his shaking hand, his eyes constantly fleeting around the room after every sentence he read.

His other hand, that had started working again, tapped the table along with his foot on the ground. He read each word out loud in a whisper. All actions borne out of desperation to fill the silence.

Time had run out, and he was the first out of the door after turning in his test with missing answers.

His feet had taken him to the forest, as far from the lake as possible. It would take a long time before he felt comfortable being next to it again.

"Whreee!"

Nathan startled at the echoing sound, looking beside him to see black eyes gazing at him intently. Strangely, he felt himself settle down as the creature approached and nuzzled his hand, begging to be petted. He obliged.

Static started filling his vision, terror following along, before being snuffed out just as quickly, as numbness settled in. The creature warbled and stepped closer, his other hand coming up to rub against its ears. Dazedly, he noted other creatures of the same species approaching.

"I knew I would find you here one day!"

The voice warmed his aching heart, instantly recognizable by its airy tone. He turned his head to see Luna standing beside him, petting one of the other beings.

"They're called thestrals. They are quite gentle, really…" The girl trailed off, as she pulled some food from her bag and offered it to the beast. "...But, people avoid them because they're…"

Nathan watched her face become dowcast, the sadness he so hated seeing on her face clear for all to see. "Weird." The girl finished in a whisper.

He kept watching as she forced the dreaminess back into herself, smile forced as she turned to give her attention to the two new creatures that had joined them.

"Only people who have seen death can see them." The airy tone was back into her voice, but the words were almost a whisper, and he could hear how forced her cheer was.

He did not even question why he could see the beings. Red hair bleeding into white. A little boy dying with a smile. A nuzzle to his side brought him out of his head, as another one of the skeleton horses begged for his attention.

Luna stopped her ministrations to her creature, holding its head tenderly in her hands. It whined softly before stepping closer to the girl, pressing its forehead to her own. The other animals scattered around them, spreading themselves in the clearing. Nathan took a step towards the girl.

"My mom died when I was nine." Her voice was a whisper, but the pain it carried was loud in the silent clearing. "She liked to experiment with spells, and one day…" Her voice faltered, and he took another step towards her.

"One day it backfired. And she died." All he could hear was the girl's shaky breath, not even the creatures or the leaves making any sound. "She was an incredible witch."

Nathan put a hand on Luna's shoulder, slowly turning her around. Misty eyes gazed at him, the strong girl refusing to let them fall. He felt his heart break at the scene, before pulling the girl to him in a hug.

Luna trembled in his arms, her sobs muffled by his clothes. He tried with everything he had to copy Hermione, willing his hug to be as warm and safe as he could.

He watched the thestral Luna had been petting walk away to join its friends as he held the slowly calming girl.

"She was the one that told me about nargles."

Nathan tried to step back to look at the girl properly, but she refused to let go, clinging to him with strength enough to almost bruise.

"She used to tell me about them, and go on hunts with me to find them in the forest near our house." One of her arms let go of him as she fingered her necklace. "She made this with me. Told me it would protect me from them."

"I still feel like she's with me when I go look for them." She squeezed him with all her might before letting go and stepping back, but still holding on to his sweater with white knuckled grip. "Am I really crazy? For still believing they exist?"

The static flared around him, and Nathan felt the most calm in days, even as the buzzing took the place of the deafening silence.

He watched one of his hands come up. touching her forehead tenderly, as if feeling her temperature. "I'm afraid you are. You are completely mad.". Her head fell to hide on his chest, but his hand followed it, gently guiding her chin so she would look back at him. "But I'll tell you a secret." He leaned in dramatically to whisper in her ear. "All the best people are." He kissed her cheek softly, before stepping back with a grin.

Through the static he saw her wide, entranced eyes, fixed intently on his own. "Your eyes…" Her hands reached his cheeks, cradling them lovingly. "They're so beautiful." Her whispered words were full of awe, and he felt the numbness recede as the awkwardness settled in.

"That's my Luna back!" He said with a grin, hoping to ignore what she had just said. The girl gave a watery smile, before lunging back into his arms with an airy laugh.

They stood in the clearing, surrounded by creatures born of death, swaying from side to side in their embrace.

He stepped back, and took both her shoulders in his hands. "I'm sorry, about you mom, Luna." He swallowed his awkwardness before continuing, forcing himself to say the words. "You are incredibly strong."

Her hands came up to his own, holding them in between them. "Sometimes I get sad about it." She said as gazing at their intertwined fingers as she swung their arms, side to side. "But it's okay. I've got dad, and everything mom left me."

She stopped her movements, raising her eyes to his own, and what he saw choked him.

"And now I have you."

Her smile blurred as tears filled his vision and fell down his cheeks before he could stop them. He didn't mind.

"Love you too kid." He said with a trembling voice, bringing the girl close for another hug.

They disentangled and the thestrals seemed to notice the change in mood, immediately swarming and pushing them, demanding attention. With a soft giggle, he watched Luna reach into her bag, before she was dragged in another direction by the creatures.

Nathan was herded towards a big tree where he sat down immediately followed by the beings that followed him, one even plopping its head into his lap.

A soft drizzle started falling down, the thick canopy of the tree he reclined on protecting him. The sound of the rain and the paradoxical warmth of the creatures of death slowly relaxed him.

He fell asleep amongst the dozing creatures.