Chapter 13
It was way too early in the morning but Lanna and I were up, however blearily, and getting ready to tag along with Jaime to the White Sword Tower since if we were going to be kept chained to the Tower of the Hand for the rest of the day, we might as well go and get some sun in the mornings.
Neither Mama Jo nor Tywin was awake just yet so when I was awoken by the servant who was there to wake Jaime for his morning training, I decided to wake Lanna and go along with him.
I'm sure they wouldn't mind and well, better to ask for forgiveness than permission and all that.
And I did want to see the White Sword Tower.
My brother must have impressed the Kingsguard, or at least they were nice enough to humor him, and left him an open invitation to their morning practice.
"So Jaime, what have the knights of the Kingsguards been having you do?" I asked as we nibbled on foodstuffs from a small snack platter. "Cleaning armors or taking care of horses? Perhaps fetching water or running errands?"
A very light meal before he got to training.
He rolled his eyes at me. "Those are the tasks of squires and servants, Cersei."
"Well, I doubt you're sparring against Ser Barristan the Bold or the Sword of the Morning," I return.
"No, nothing as fanciful as that," Jaime spoke in a wistful tone. "I start with some exercises before practicing against a straw dummy. The Kingsguard will give me corrections and guidance. If we have time, we might do some light sparring with wooden swords at most. It'll be many years before I have the honor of trading live steel against a knight of the Kingsguard."
"Eh, we all gotta start somewhere and those knights were once as small and unpolished as you are now. Take heart Jaime, you'll improve. Of that, I have no doubt." I say with the easy confidence of foreknowledge.
I think Arthur Dayne and Barristan Selmy might have been just a single step higher in skill at their peak canonically compared to Jaime, but that didn't disregard the fact Jaime would one day be in the same class as the people he idolized.
"Thanks, Cersei." Jaime looked bashful at my statement. "We should go though. Don't wish to be tardy."
"Let's go then," I reach out and grab Lanna who was staring sleepily into a bowl of porridge.
I kinda felt bad about waking her so early but she was my handmaid. She goes where I go and if Mama Jo and Tywin were displeased about me leaving, I didn't want to risk them getting mad at Lanna if I left her behind.
The Red Keep was only slowly awakening right now as Jaime led us through and out of it into the middle bailey.
It didn't take me long until I realized we were taking the same path Mama Jo did to reach Maegor's Holdfast. At the end of the middle bailey, we approached and carefully stepped down the serpentine steps which led down into the sunken lower bailey.
Was the White Sword Tower inside Maegor's Holdfast or something and I missed it?
I found the answer was no when Jaime led us past the entry drawbridge to head around the side of it.
Quickly enough, we arrived at a small training yard that was occupied by five men in cloaks of white, the sixth I saw guarding the drawbridge into Maegor's Holdfast, and the seventh was likely guarding the king.
I guess we were here? I looked up at what I assumed was the White Sword Tower and found myself disappointed.
It was just a basic rounded tower built into the walls and overlooking the Blackwater.
What is this weak shit, eh George? Had an off day?
I thought the tower might have been built in the shape of a sword or it would have fancy white bricks. Anything that would differentiate it from all the other towers which also lined the walls.
But nope. It was just a normal, repurposed tower.
How drab.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Ser Lewyn approaching us with steady steps..
"Seems you brought some companions with you this morning, Jaime." He greeted in good humor. "Why don't you get started with your exercises while I speak with these fine ladies?"
I giggled.
"A fine morning to you, Ser Lewyn," I greeted. "I thought it wasn't fair that only Jaime got to leave the Tower of the Hand so I sought to join him today."
"Well, I hope your lady mother knows where to find you when she wakes to find you vanished."
"The guards and servants were informed," I lied but Mama could likely piece it together. "But please, don't let the presence of us disturb your morning rituals. Lanna and I are just here to pass the time and enjoy the sunrise."
"No desire to join in, Lady Cersei?" He asked with a teasing smile. "Twins, the two of you are. Mayhaps you'll share his talent."
"Swords are not the weapon of choice for me," I say with a mock sniff. "Though you mention my brother, how fares he?"
He chuckled and turned to gaze at young Jaime, dutifully running laps around the yard, his every breath misting in the cold morning air. "There's a reason why we've extended to him an open invitation to join us. Within him lays potential, a great deal of it. We can all see it and even the old bull agrees. Talent is one thing though, we brought him back for his drive. There will always be plenty of talented swordarms, but to be a Kingsguard is to have the drive to put in the time to realize it."
"My brother is going to be a great knight. He gave me his word and knights don't break them."
A complete lie. The series repeatedly demonstrated the oaths of knighthood were naught but words on the wind.
I was hoping to influence Jaime to be true, but at times, I also worried I might end up making him too idealistic, too honest for this utterly fucked world, and that when he finally realizes how this world is run, it'll break his faith in turn.
"Admirable," Lewyn nodded in agreement.
"Speaking of brothers, yours are staring, Ser Lewyn," I inform him. "So Lanna and I will trouble you no longer."
"No trouble at all. Ladies watching only makes us men work harder!" He said with a laugh, turning away and walking back towards the others.
I dragged Lanna to the side where there were benches where we sat and relaxed, watching the morning pass by.
Observing the Kingsguard and Jaime told me little since I knew so little of swordcraft but Jaime was I could see Jaime listening to his elders with rapturous attention, eagerly absorbing what they had to share.
It seemed our time in King's Landing would be mighty fruitful for him and I was glad for it.
We watched and waited. Jaime would probably be here for a while, at least until their morning practice disbanded for duties elsewhere.
Feeling Lanna nudge me, I turn to see what captured her attention.
Walking into the yard was Rhaegar with Arthur Dayne trailing steps behind him.
Huh, he did say that Arthur was teaching him.
Good on him, for waking up so early to train.
His eyes met mine and I could see the surprise in them.
I gave him a greeting nod to which he replied with one in turn before he joined the Kingsguard in his morning practice.
"Is that Prince Rhaegar?" Lanna squeaked from my side.
Turning to the girl in question, I saw her cheeks were slightly flushed and I don't think it was from the morning chill.
"He is," I said with a smirk. "A bit of a pretty boy, ain't he?"
She squeaked again.
"Shall I introduce you to him?" I teased further.
Lanna looked mortified at that. "Please stop teasing me, Cersei." She begged.
"Alright, alright. Prince he may be, he's just a boy." I say.
"A boy who shall one day be our king," Lanna retorted.
"True, but until then, he's just Rhaegar," I reiterate.
"Rhaegar huh?" Lanna hummed. "The Prince is not betrothed to anyone right?"
"Nope," I answer. "Why? Interested in the job?"
"You could be his Queen then!" Lanna whispered, bowling through my tease.
Queen huh? It's something I had thought of often since I damn well knew my father's ambitions for me.
I snorted at the thought.
Tywin's ambitions were not my own.
"If my father had his way, perhaps," I start. "But I have little stomach for being Queen."
The look of bafflement Lanna gave in turn to my words had me giggling.
"Cersei, you could be the QUEEN of the Seven Kingdoms. Your children would be Princes and Princesses." She repeated as if I didn't understand her the first time.
Rolling my eyes at her, I replied. "I understood you well the first time, Lanna. I know what I said. Why would I want to be the Queen though?"
No, seriously. Why would I want to? Ruling the Seven Kingdoms sounded like an absolute pain in the ass. There were fair points for the idea, I could admit, but it wasn't an idea I was truly sold for several reasons.
"You would be the most powerful woman in all the realms, Cersei." Lanna tried again, not understanding me.
Here was one of the cruxes of the matter.
"Lanna," I say to her, meeting her eyes. "You've already seen what I can do so far, but it is but a small part of my potential. What I lack right now, is merely influence. I am already the most powerful woman in all the realms. I'm the Avatar after all."
There was something I remembered reading in the Kyoshi novels from a lifetime ago, about how Avatars of times past sometimes had to fight the world for their beliefs but history always proved the Avatar correct in the end.
I remember thinking Kyoshi's thoughts were naive.
History is written by the victors.
And those tended to be the Avatar, more times than not.
"The Targaryens had great power once, enough to force their will upon the then disparate seven kingdoms of old. Dragons. With those gone now, they have been reduced to mere men. Their power now derived from their names, allies, their influence, and a piece of polished and jeweled metal that which sits upon their heads. You and I may not ride dragons Lanna, but we wield power of our own."
Lanna looked shocked at what I said. I guess she never considered her own bending abilities and what it meant for her and her role in the world.
She was a child after all.
I was still young too, but one day, all four elements would be under my mastery. Not to mention the broken I-win button that was the Avatar state.
Lanna didn't reply to my words, merely looking thoughtful.
Though I could admit, I was too. It wasn't as if I hadn't considered the benefits of a royal marriage to Rhaegar. The reasoning I gave Lanna, about power and such was merely one in many. Another was with me a reincarnate, I had no idea which way my orientation would swing. A third was the sheer age difference. Those were all fair reasons in my mind, but by far the largest reason for my lack of interest in any and all marriage was purely selfishness and cowardice.
I was utterly terrified of childbirth.
Perhaps I would have been a tad more willing in a more modern world but in a medieval setting where maternal mortality was just an accepted thing? No thanks.
The idea terrified me, that my legacy in the history books would simply read Cersei Lannister, born 266 AC to Lord Tywin of Casterly Rock and Lady Joanna Lannister. Passed of birthing fever in 286 AC. Just another fatality in a long line of them.
No, that was not how I wished to go out. In the birthing chamber than the battlefield.
I guess I would never truly be a great Avatar, willing to sacrifice everything for my goals.
With benders on the rise in Westeros, there was absolutely no doubt that the future would be turbulent. Distrust between the current power structures against benders would brew and it would be my duty as Avatar to navigate it, as an upholder of balance.
That was part of Korra's thing in season one, trying to bring balance between benders and non-benders and now the mantle had been passed down to me.
Unfortunately, this was a problem that wouldn't be as neatly resolved as Korra did and I wasn't completely blind to the idea that a royal marriage to Rhaegar could help in that regard.
Yet I didn't want to. It didn't happen in canon and I didn't want it to happen here.
A new path would simply have to be found. Aang found a way to achieve his goals in the end, even if it was pulling energybending out of his ass. I would simply have to find another.
However, I had a strong feeling that I would be taking the house words of House Targaryen for my own, by marriage or deed, one way or another.
Fire and Blood.
If it was needed, then let it be so.
I had plenty of fire after all.
Thinking about this also brought up another thought.
Energybending. I had no idea how that worked but it was the result I was more interested in.
The ability to take away a person's bending. Aang only achieved it when he had mastered the four elements but that was years away for me, especially with my lack of qualified teachers.
But energybending wasn't the only way to strip someone of their bending.
I had completely forgotten about that aspect when I introduced the concept of bloodbending to Jaime and Lanna.
Being able to depower people essentially… That could prove useful.
Immensely useful actually.
Though this would be an endeavor similar to metalbending, an effort that would take quite some time to achieve if possible.
An effort which would be made by me alone.
Korra figured out metalbending quickly in the shows, utilizing meteoric iron to quickly bypass the visualization stage between earthbending and metalbending. Hence, my dreams gave me very little insight into it and Aang didn't learn it either as far as I could tell.
Now, I would have to learn another discipline from scratch without tutelage once more.
What did I remember about bloodbending?
Hama practiced on rats and she established that it had to be a full moon at least until Korra's show introduced Amon and Tarrlok, both of whom could bloodbend without a full moon.
Now the big question I had was whether I could master bloodbending to such a level to suppress the bending abilities of others or was it due to their inherent talent?
Either way, as twisted as it was, I would likely have to try.
So many things I had to work on. I had just cracked metalbending and needed to continue my explorations in that versatile field. Does this medieval world have metal cables?
There was also dust stepping for mobility since I didn't have access to airbending yet. I also wanted to try and figure out how to watersurf like Eska and Desna. I needed to further my water healing for Mama but that would probably tie into bloodbending as well if my theory that bending blocking was some kind of dual discipline between water healing and bloodbending.
So much to do.
So little time.
And yet here I was just whittling away time sitting in a courtyard, just observing. Rhaegar had joined them now but even to my inexpert eye, it was clear he was pretty rough still. He was a bookish sort in his younger years if I recall correctly, so he probably had a bit of a late start to his martial training.
Though I also remembered he would be a skilled knight, even besting Arthur Dayne in the lists to win the tourney of Harrenhal. I wasn't sure if that was a true testament to Rhaegar's true skill or if it was just Arthur throwing the match out of respect for his king.
Right now, it at least looked like he was progressing well. However, I could also see his heart wasn't truly in it, merely going through the motions. His movements had none of the energy I could see in Jaime or the other Kingsguards.
I wasn't sure how long I spent watching but I was starting to get a bit restless. And sleepy.
The cold wasn't doing me any favors.
It was too bad I wasn't further along in my firebending training. Zuko could warm himself with just his breathing but it would be some time before I could attempt something like that.
Feeling Lanna shiver next to me, I stood up to get some blood flowing. "Come on Lanna. Let's go get warm."
I didn't want to return to the Tower of the Hand just yet so…
White Sword Tower it was!
The bench we were sitting on was pretty close to the entrance, a single and rather plain wooden door up a dozen steps which we gingerly took.
I was expecting the Kingsguards to yell at me or command me to get down but to my surprise, not a protest reached us as I pushed open the door and stepped inside the tower.
It looked to be some kind of common room with white-washed bricks encircling the circular room. There was a large table with an oversized book closed atop it. The important thing was a small hearth with two swords crossed mounted above it.
A quick glance showed me that there was no one else in the room and my seismic sense, however muffled it was by my shoes, told me there wasn't anyone above me.
At least no one moving.
I led Lanna and me next to the hearth before shooting a quick bolt of fire at it.
As the flame slowly took and spread, quickly consuming the wood already placed into it, I felt much better.
Evidently, so was Lanna as she released a contented sigh next to me while she warmed her palms next to the open flame.
Feeling warm, I reluctantly dragged myself over to the middle of the room away from the roaring fire where what I believe the White Book sat.
Getting into the seat was a bit of a pain since I was six and very small, but I managed, however awkwardly.
Easily two feet tall and over a foot in width, the White Book was thick like an old encyclopedia. A beefy boy.
The cover was painted white with a golden sigil of a crown surrounded by seven swords radiating point first from it. Thankfully, there was a gold silk ribbon peeking out from the center pages which seemed to function as a bookmark.
Using that placeholder and with a heap of effort, I managed to flip open the book to the marked area.
Ser Gerold of House Hightower. Secondborn son of Ser Gormon Hightower of Hightower. To the top right of the page, there laid his house sigil, painstakingly painted and colored. A white tower with flames lit atop, upon a smoke-grey field.
The page next to Gerold's was for Gwayne Gaunt's. Flipping the pages further showed five more men. Lewyn Martell, Barristan Selmy, Oswell Whent, Arthur Dayne, and Jonothor Darry.
I hummed to myself.
So these were the knights of King Aerys' Kingsguard.
Their respective entries tended to be a bit dry, utterly lacking in colorful words, a list of factual details. This person won this melee, that joust, that duel.
Yet it was fascinating to me all the same.
These people… They weren't just background-dressing from George, but living people currently existing outside the door.
Fascinating.
What did I know about these people?
Hightower, Dayne, and Whent I believe all would die at the Tower of Joy.
Jonothor Darry… He would be the one to spirit away Daenerys and Viserys. I think?
Actually, wasn't there another Darry or was I confused?
Lewyn Martell would die on the Trident.
Barristan Selmy would live on.
I was drawing an absolute blank on Gwayne Gaunt though. Who the heck was this guy? As much as I racked my brain, nothing stood out. Looking at his sigil was of little help either, no familiarity to be gained there.
The only House Gaunt I knew was from Harry Potter.
It left me scratching my head.
My past memories were becoming more and more muddled as the years passed, and it probably didn't help that I never finished the book series.
I couldn't say I loved the world George crafted, but I loved the stories crafted within them.
And heck, it could always be worse. I could've been Cersei with no fantastical powers to move things with my mind.
Or I could have been in Naruto.
More and more, I realized that this world was a living, breathing place.
Oh, it had lots of downsides.
I missed modern amenities like the food and music. I missed my family of old. I dearly missed music and my musical skills were not sufficient enough for me to start introducing bardcore into this world.
But one nice thing was there were answers to be found here. I may not have Google, with its culmination of all of human knowledge at my fingertips, but at the very least, if I had questions about the world I lived in now, Maester Creylen was only a short walk away.
The answer I get wouldn't ever be, Well we don't know. George hasn't said anything but here's my theory about it.
With that, I flipped the book to the absolute beginning, where it all began.
I blinked at the sigil which sat on the page. A sea horse on a faded turquoise background.
Corlys Velaryon.
Huh. Must have been an ancestor of the famed Sea Snake.
With my finger tracing the words that recorded the deeds of a long-dead man, I was surprised at just how remarkably well this piece of history had held up after two and a half centuries.
It was history in my hands.
This was why I loved living in this world.
Robin Darklyn.
Richard Roote.
Gregor Goode.
Griffith Goode.
Humfrey.
Addison Hill.
The first seven Kingsguard.
Though the last two were a surprise to me.
A hedge knight of no notable ancestry and a Westerland's bastard.
All that was left of them in the world was the words written upon these pages.
Page after page, I took in their names and deeds.
I was amusedly rereading Criston Cole's entry which had clearly been written by himself when the door opened and I snapped my attention up to the door.
I wasn't sure if I was allowed to touch the White Book so I already had an hasty apology ready upon my lips when I realized who it was.
"Oh hello, Rhaegar." I greet lamely.
A squeak and a shuffling sound from my side indicated Lanna was now aware of our guest.
Earlier, Rhaegar was only seen from a distance but now that he was closer… He didn't look well. His eyes were shadowed and tired, and he moved like he was exhausted and I didn't think it was from the training.
Maybe I was a bit too harsh with my thoughts of his lack of energy earlier.
"I thought you would be here, Lady Cersei." He said with a weak smile.
"Lanna and I were cold outside." I return with a shrug.
"Indeed, winter is now upon us." He replies before seeing the book sitting on the table before me. "You have an interest in the White Book?"
I gave him a nod. "It's history after all. Created and written upon since the time of Aegon the Conquerer. Have you given it a read before?"
"On a few occasions."
Rhaegar really wasn't looking good, exhaustion lacing every movement.
Looked like he hadn't slept a wink.
Which for thirteen-year-olds was oddly fitting. I remembered the days when I stayed up to two in the morning gaming only to take up at six to head on to school.
"You… Uh. Was your sleep not well, Your Grace?" I asked. The benefit of being a child was I could be blunt.
Might as well take advantage of it.
He looked surprised at that, perhaps thinking he had hidden it better than he had.
"I merely have much on my mind."
"I understood." Was my words, unsure what else to say.
Growing boys need their sleep?
So I was taken by surprise when Rhaegar followed up his sentence suddenly. "It is my father."
Ah.
Yeah.
Him.
Telling Rhaegar this was actually a blessing in disguise was clearly off the table.
"His Grace is yet young and hearty. No doubt this will be overcome."
Empty platitudes it was.
It was only technically true if I squinted at it. Aerys Targaryen was only in his twenties at this point if I guessed rightly.
"I hope so. There is still much for me to learn of ruling."
Oh. I misunderstood him. He was worried about Kingship. Made sense in hindsight.
He was a young boy potentially about to be thrust into a role he felt ill-prepared for.
"If I may…" Starting slowly. "There will be a regency, will it not?"
He gave me a firm, almost desperate nod. "I am not at majority."
"Then what is there to worry about? There is still many a year until the crown will be sat upon your brow."
The boy hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I worry about what kind of King I'll be."
Rhaegar needs some friends.
For real.
It was a bit surreal how he was seemingly unloading his worries onto me, a literal child. I guess he was truly out of it.
"Why ponder that? Do you believe you'll be a bad one?" I ask curiously.
"I… You are a well-read child. Surely you know of our history."
He was referencing the Targaryen madness.
What to do? Hell, what to say? I was a dude in my past life and my friends were all dudes. We didn't comfort each other in our time of need with thoughtful words. Our best attempt was going, man that sucks. Hope everything gets better soon. Let's go have a drink or play some games together to get your mind off things.
I was too emotionally awkward to try and comfort a teenage boy.
"The madness," I say aloud, giving form to our silent thoughts. "You know Rhaegar, I read somewhere that King Jaehaerys once said madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. I will not gainsay you, House Targaryen has produced a few… Inadequate kings but for every Aegon the Unworthy, there is a Jaehaerys the Wise. A Daeron the Good for Maegor the Cruel."
"A coin huh…" He looked introspective at the thought. "Wise words from a wise King. Do you recall where you read this?"
…
A Storm of Swords?
A Feast for Crows?
No wait. I never read Feast so must have been Storm.
"Apologies, Rhaegar. I do not." I shook my head. "Though if I may say… It was turbulent times that pressed the good and wise kings into history. They who struggled to put rights to the wrongs of their predecessors. If your father is to truly pass, and Seven forbid that, you are not inheriting his troubles. Generations of your ancestors have laid the foundation for your rule. The Blackfyres have been uprooted, the realm at peace, our neighbors across the Narrow Sea content, and a clear succession. Your reign will be what you make of it."
What I said was only partly true. There was the supposed fanon female line of Blackfyres.
The emergence of benders as well.
Oh, and can't forget the army of undead that'll be marching against the living in some thirty years.
Good fucking luck Rhaegar.
This shit is why I don't want to be Queen.
"I… You… Yes. You speak with sense. What plight is mine compared to Baelor the Blessed or Jaehaerys the Conciliator?"
I had no idea what I was doing but it seemed to be working out well enough, I guess?
"In the end, you won't be ruling by yourself. Heavy is the head that wears the crown and all that, but the burden can be lightened with loyal and competent counsel."
"Loyal and competent counsel. Men like your father?" Rhaegar said with wryness.
"Much can be said about my father. His enemies may call him ruthless and prone to cruelty. Those who respect him may call him wise. His wife would call him a loving husband. But none have ever called my father a poor administrator. You can expect him to push the interest of his House, yes, but it is your final decision if tolerating such things is worth the benefits he brings to the table."
"You make things sound so simple." He said with a chuckle.
"Things often are." I shouldn't be too hard on him. Young people tended to make mountains out of molehills but Rhaegar's situation was indeed a serious one. "Though if there is one final thing I may say…"
"Continue," he says with a nod.
"Perhaps find some friends to confide in," I say plainly.
I couldn't stop my chuckle at his flabbergasted expression.
"Rhaegar, a girl of six is not who you should be speaking about these troubling matters with," I tell him plainly.
"Apologies, Cersei. I have not been of right mind."
"No need for apologies, Rhaegar. You are of no bother. I just won't be here in King's Landing for very long but having people to speak honestly with is a precious thing. Do you speak with your mother much?"
The way he hesitated told me the answer before he even replied. "I shall endeavor to do so."
"A mother's wisdom is a precious thing. Don't waste it." I tell him seriously.
He gave me a slight smile. "I won't. Thank you again, once again, you give me much to think about, Cersei."
Giving an awkward shrug. "It's of little matter."
With that, he left.
I let out a breath.
Phew.
Seriously.
I wasn't sure how I got through that but it seemed to work out well enough. New life, but I was still as awkward as talking as ever. At least I didn't mention how the weather was.
Wait no, I did. Right at the start I think.
"I can't believe you spoke to him so easily!" Lanna squealed excitedly and loudly from my side.
Oh, bother.
Now I'm going to have to deal with this.
Can we just go back home to bending, please?! I got a lotta stuff I needa work on!