John Phoenix lay in bed.
"Huh? Who's there?" he said because there was someone there, and that person was his uncle. His uncle asked:
"Hi John Phoenix! I just wanted to know, how big is your penis?" asked Phoenix Wright inquisitively. John Phoenix answered
"I don't know because I haven't checked in a while." That's why John Phoenix pulled down his pants down, but his cock was very small because it was not hard yet. John Phoenix wanted it to be hard.
"I can change that John Phoenix," said Uncle Phoenix. He began to stroke it and it rose and grew, revealing it's true size. It was a megacock, the type only the most manliest of defense attorneys who wear green suits have. And it was John Phoenix's.
"Stroke harder Uncle," John Phoenix commanded.
"Wait a minute isn't this incest?" Uncle Phoenix finally realized.
"Yes," said John Phoenix.
"Oh, okay. I guess that's fine." Uncle Phoenix decided.
RECORD SCRATCH
FREEZE FRAME
John Phoenix walked out onto the screen like Kuzco in Emperor's New Groove
"If you are an astute reader, you may have noticed a contradiction in this story," said John Phoenix. "Did you notice it? That's right: I, John Phoenix, would NEVER support or condone incest! Therefore, let us see what really happened.
John Phoenix punched his uncle in the face and his cock remained flaccid; no one could ever be attracted to Uncle Phoenix.
"Uncle Phoenix! How dare you? I am calling the police at once."
The police came and uncle Phoenix was sentenced to life in prison. He didn't get a trial because he didn't deserve one.
"Thank goodness you stopped Uncle Phoenix before it was too late, John Phoenix," said Miles Edgeworth. He held up a document. "As Capcom does not want their image associated with incest or Uncle Phoenix anymore, they have changed the name of the series to John Phoenix: Ace Attorney, and are republishing all the old games with Phoenix Wright removed and you replacing him."
"That's great news, Miles," said John Phoenix.
THE END