Made this for college in October 2023 but am making it public outta boredom so kinda outdated. Pretend this came out October 2023. More Minions Quest 2024. Maybe. Merry Christmas
WARNING: Mild spoilers for Super Mario Wonder (specifically World 1)
October 14, 2023
Mario's Pad
It was a calm, uneventful evening at the Mario Bros' pad, a week before the much-anticipated release of Super Mario Wonder for the Nintendo Switch. Mario and Luigi had used up their vacation week to play the game. The brothers sat in their living room, rewatching the game trailer on their phone
"Of all the power ups... an elephant-a," sighed Mario. "'Cause nothin' says 'Super Mario' like turning into a frickin' elephant."
"Yeah," said Luigi, "but y'know, we've done our share of weird power up thingies before. Like who knows why they did it. Maybe they wanted more DeviantART views... or something."
"..."
"I-I don't know bro," muttered Luigi. "W-Was that dated?"
"At this point, I can't even tell what's in," sighed Mario.
The trailer kept playing, now at the part with orange wise-talking flowers. Mario glared at the screen and shook his head.
"Yeah," sighed Mario. "If they wanna introduce all these weird new power ups, hope I at least get a wheedwhacker so I can cut down all these annoying flowers," he grimaced. "Like... imagine this. Weedwacker Flower."
He chuckled and pulled out his phone. "Ooh, I'm gonna send that one to Nintendo right now-a," he laughed, thumbing out a quick text.
"Yoshi Yoshi!"
Mario and Luigi jerked back, heads bobbing back and forth, but calmed down after seeing it was just Yoshi. Yoshi's big, wondrous eyes looked at the phone and repeated a quick "Yoshi Yoshi!" in sync with the talking flowers. Unfortunately his attempt to mimic the flower noises, was rather lacking. Luigi chuckled and patted him on the back while Mario rolled his eyes and resumed watching.
Suddenly the video paused; a notification popped up on Mario's phone. It was a new video from one of his YouTube subscriptions, GameXplain."Hmm?" He read the notifcation. 'MARIO WONDER LEAKS IN FULL ONLINE!' the notification shouted.
"Woah-a. Hey Luigi." Mario tapped his shoulder. "Game leaked early. Look. Look!"
"O-Okay! I heard you! Damn." Luigi peered at the screen. "Oh wow. I-I guess it has-a," he muttered.
"Ain't that somethin'," said Mario. He walked outside the room; after a second of goofy rustling noises and items getting thrown down his hallway, Mario came back with his laptop. He sat on the couch and started clacking away.
"What a shame for the developers, huh? These guys, uh, I bet they get paid in dirt. Slaving and breaking their backs for the corporate overlord year round-"
"Uh-huh," muttered Mario, still clacking.
"...And now their hard work's just..." Luigi shook his head. "Man, I don't envy 'em, bro."
"Hmm yeah, no good," said Mario.
"Yeah, people are just gonna play the game and spoil everyone. Hey, 'least I got a good reason not to use the Internet now? Eh?"
Crickets. Apart from Mario's continued clacking. Curiosity got the best of Luigi, and he peered over his brother's shoulder.
"Hey big bro-a, what are you..." Luigi tried to get a closer look but Mario turned his computer away and arched his head back.
"Hey, hey, back up," said Mario, glaring at his bro and swiveling his laptop away.
"Mario, are you?..." Luigi looked and finally noticed what Mario was doing. He was on a ROM site called [REDACTED], downloading an ISO of Super Mario Wonder.
"Mario, seriously-a?" grumbled Luigi. "Were you not listening at all?"
"I... uh, I can't say I did."
"The game drops in a week-a. Y-You can't even wait that long-a?"
"Hmm... I can, yeah. I'm not like, pinned to the ground or anything, I just don't feel like it," said Mario.
Luigi stared wide eyed at the screen and raised his free arm to his forehead to try and cover the sweat particles. "But Mario-a," Luigi grimaced. "Nintendo... they'll be mad... We'll lose our jobs man..."
"Not if they don't know. You know the old sayin'? What you don't know, doesn't kill you?" Mario punctuated by tapping his head with his index finger. "'Sides, we're the only reason anyone cares about them. If anything, they owe US."
Luigi sighed, almost by habit. "Alright. S-Sure. Whatever. But can you at least play in the office? You know, away from me? Keep the spoilers outta my vanity big bro."
"Yeah whatever-a, I'll keep it on the dl," Mario chuckled. He closed his laptop, got up and nudged Yoshi. The dino perked up and stared at his "daddy".
"Come on Yoshi, we'll set up shop in... the Plumber Cave," said Mario. He walked out the room, motioning Yoshi over with a wave. Yoshi perked up and trotted after Mario, leaving Luigi to his own devices.
"Aw yeah, finally-a," said Luigi. "All alone."
He slumped back in his chair, soaking up the quiet.
"...I have a feeling Nintendo's find out."
Luigi shrugged. "Long as I don't get spoiled."
"Plumber Cave"
Inside the affectionately named "Plumber Cave", Mario was meticulously tinkering with the settings for his emulator of choice, Ryujinx. The "plumber cave" was the office of the house, and it is a room that certainly makes its purpose clear upon initial glance, with the wooden desk front and center with a PC with two monitors and a assortment of chairs and beanbag seats for player groups of up to four, facing two windows overlooking the front yard. The wall on the left harbored a bookshelf with old, dusty books from Luigi and torn gamer guides for Mario with pages missing, and memorabilia of their various adventures was strewn across boxes on the floor.
"Pay close attention, Yoshi, Imma put you on some game," said Mario, tinkering with the settings on Ryujinx. "60 FPS, and 4K visual graphics. 'Cause I know how to game-a! Do NOT settle for anything less. We don't do that in this house. Okay?"
Yoshi chirped and nodded. "Yoshi Yoshi! (Okay)."
"Good." Mario patted the beanbag. "Come down-a boy! Game's loadin' up!" He hummed and collapsed in his beanbag as the game began to load and looked at Yoshi.
"...Uh Yoshi, are you sure you want to use... that?" asked Mario, pointing at his controller.
"Yoshi... (Yeah...)" Yoshi shrugged, clutching his trusty Switch joycons.
Mario scoffed. "Clearly, we still have some work to do. Ah well, we can, uh, handle all that... later." Mario made sure to drag that last word out as long as he could as he navigated the menu with his Switch Pro Controller.
On the character select screen, they were greeted by a mostly pretty standard modern Mario roster, though with a few suprises. There was the quintessential Mario and Luigi of course, but there was also Peach, Blue/Yellow Toad (but not the actual Toad), Toadette, Nabbit and most curiously, Daisy and a bunch of Yoshis.
"As if they even have to ask," muttered Mario, selecting himself on the screen, his avatar making a cheerful noise as selected. "Wait, Daisy? That's a new one-a. Heh, Luigi's gonna love that." Mario shook his head and looked back at the screen, raising his eyebrow at Yoshi's presence. "Hey, look, buddy! Over there That's you-a!" He nudged Yoshi. "They put you in the game! Guess they were runnin' low on hero material," he finished with a playful jab.
Yoshi let out a loud squeal and wasted no time selecting himself, after a cutscene you wouldn't want me to to cover, Mario and Yoshi found themselves in World 1-1, "Welcome to the Flower Kingdom."
In the heat of the adventure, the two wasted no time running around enemies. Mario flipped through the courses with all the grace you'd expect from a so called "professional gamer". Regardless, it was quite a contrast to Yoshi's behavior, as Yoshi spent most of the level just running into blocks and enemies. Which might have been a disaster in any other game, but fortunately, Wonder designated Yoshi a "Beginner character" so he didn't take any damage from enemies. He simply just bounced off the enemies with a chuckle.
As Yoshi bounced off yet another Goomba, Mario couldn't resist a snide comment. "You know-a, Yoshi, they made you a beginner character 'cause they know you're-a too retarded to beat the game without invincibility-a," chuckled Mario. "They're thinking of the special needs people. But uh, you might wanna learn how to play soon 'cause if you can't beat the intro level, I..." Mario chuckles. "I think the rest of the game's gonna be hell for you. Look at this."
Mario effortlessly swiped a 10 Flower Coin with a high jump off a squirming Warp Pipe at peak position. "Take notes, I'm sure there's room in your head for something other than food."
Yoshi continued playing the game, his lack of skill, beginner status, and Mario's comments doing nothing to deter his joy. "Yoshi Yoshi! (Yoshi tough!)" he proclaimed, as he ate the last Goomba of the level, immediately returning to Mario's side and trying to nuzzle him in-game.
As they reached the end of World 1-1, Mario put his hand on his chin and smacked his lips as the game returned to the World Map.
"Hmm-a..." pondered Mario. "Y'know, I feel like-a something's missing..." He got up and turned to Yoshi. "Yoshi, buddy, can you hold down the fort for a bit? I'll be right back."
Yoshi nodded with a cheerful chirp, staring at the unmoving icons on the World Map as if it was actual gameplay.
Hallway
Mario got on his phone and tapped the contact info of a old friend, and hit "Facetime". On the other end, his good friend Toad's face popped up onscreen. Mario seemed to have caught him in a time of self indulgence, if the cloud of vapor around him had anything to saw
"Yo, Mario! Jumpy! Wazzup?" asked Toad.
"Hey Toad, still in your fuckboy era huh?" Mario shook his head, trying to hold back laughter but kinda failing. "Anyways, you won't believe this, but, uh, you know Super Mario Wonder?"
"Bro, I ain't been thinkin of shit other than that, fuck you mean, 'do i know Wonder?" He shook his head and put down his dab cart. "Why you askin' tho?"
"Bro, you didn't hear? The whole game just got leaked online!" said Mario. "I'm playing it with Yoshi-a, right now. Bro, it's so fun, you-you gotta come over! You in?!"
Toad's eyes widened mid-puff. "Dude, you serious? OF COURSE!" Without another word, the Facetime meeting ended.
Just as Mario turned off his phone and started walking back to the office, he heard a knock at the door.
"Damn, already?" Mario threw his hands up and walked to the front door.
Front door
Mario pulled open the door and began to greet Toad with a wave, pausing mid wave 'cause of an unusual sight. Greeting him was the panting Toad, and uh, for some reason, a Goomba with a red baseball cap with the "Super Mario Wonder" logo brandishing it and a half eaten gummy worm poking out his mouth; the sight made Mario arch his left eye.
"Ha, ha, hey, h-hey, Mario, w-where tha... where's that game at?" Toad said between pants and gasps, holding his knees (or the area where Toads would have knees I guess).
Mario pointed at the Goomba. "Uh, Toad-a? What's with-"
"Hmm?" Toad looked where the finger was pointing and shot Mario a grin. "Oh this dude? Nah he's cool. Uh, it's just my homeboy Jerry," said Toad, patting Jerry (the Goomba) on the head. "He wanted in on the fun too! And this kid is BEAST, on my mama! You know he was just, bro! He was eating a whole bag of gummies before I called him! Man I remember I tried that once and uh... the hospital got a lotta coins that day, man..." Toad grimaced and held his stomach. "You got room for my boy, right?"
Mario scratched his head. "I... Yeah you know what? Sure. Screw it. The more the merrier. Come to the "Plumber Cave" you two!"
"Plumber Cave"
Jerry and Toad made themselves at home pretty fast, Jerry plopping in a chair and Toad plopping in a green beanbag. As Mario started tinkering with the menu, Toad couldn't help but question if Mario was playing up to par.
"Holup. Before we play." Toad folded his arms. "What's the specs of this thing lookin' like?" Toad asked.
"Bro." Mario side eyed him and tapped his PC. "4K visuals. 60 FPS. Don't play with me. You know I take this shit serious."
Toad and Jerry grinned. "Rad," said Jerry.
"That's what I like to hear, LET'S GO!" yelled Toad, side somersaulting in his beanbag. He shot a glance at Yoshi, and arched his eye at the dino's 'interesting' choice of controller and side eyed Mario. "Uh, dude? What's Yoshi doin'? Is he even takin' this seriously?" he whispered
Mario sighed. "Sorry man. I've tried to teach him, but I'm afraid I've raised a scrub."
"That's so sad," sniffed Jerry, faux crying.
"Nah, let him cook. I'll just destroy him harder. Pause."
As Toad navigated the character select screen, he let out a strained sigh. On the character select screen, he saw Yellow Toad, Blue Toad, and Toadette, but not himself, the OG Toad.
"Bruh, this is so wack! They got all these fuckin' Toads here, but they ain't got room for me? What did I do to them? They act like I just don't exist now."
Mario patted Toad's cap sympathetically. "I know, it must suck. Can't say I relate though," he chuckled,
Toad sighed and selected Toadette. "I guess I'll just pretend like I'm one of those weird trans kids that injects himself with pronoun juice all day."
Mario raised an eyebrow at Toad's pick and his reasoning. "Okay, uh... noted." He turned to Jerry. "And you?"
"Well, I'm playin' Daisy, 'cause she's fuckin' hot bro," said Jerry, selecting the princess.
"...How the hell can you use the controller anyways?" asked Mario. "I mean, you, well, don't have arms."
Jerry paused for a moment. He looked at Mario with an impish grin and replied, "I use my tongue."
Mario's eyes widened and he backed away from Jerry. "Ew!" grimaced Mario. "If-If you're gonna be doing all that, you're gettin' the spare." He handed Jerry a partially broken spare controller.
Jerry sighed and got ready.
As they entered World 1-2, "Piranha Plants on Parade", Toad slyly took out his iPhone. Unbeknownst to the others, he logged into the Kick app and started a new livestream, choosing to title it "MARIO WONDER EARLY WOO HOO". He propped the phone on the side of the chair, ensuring it had a good view of the screen.
"Hey guys!" Toad whispered, eyes wide and struggling to hold in giggles. "Hey guys, look. We're playing Wonder early!" He covered his mouth but couldn't cover up his giggling. "Don't tell anyone!"
Meanwhile, as the four traversed the pipes of the level, it was clear Jerry's unconventional method of playing wasn't a great one, not helped much by the broken controller. Not being able to do much but press his tongue down over the buttons and drag his tongue across the c-stick, most of his movement consisted of awkward jumps and sloppy bursts of movement.
"Man, this is bullshit. How the hell am I supposed to play like this?" Jerry whined.
"Don't be so dramatic," sighed Mario. "Just jump on Yoshi's back or something."
Yoshi let out a grunt and arched his back towards Jerry. "Yoshi Yoshi! (Friend!)"
"In the game-a, Yoshi," said Mario.
Yoshi grunted and ran next to Daisy ingame. Jerry pressed the jump button with a tongue press and landed on Yoshi's back. The faithful dino resumed action and dragged him along the level as Mario collected the wonder flower, which was... making the Plants sing.
"I've seen it all now-a," said Mario, eyes widened as a chorus of walking plants started walking up the bros and humming a opera tune. He took out his phone and texted Nintendo "Did you get my memo for the Weedwhacker flower?"
"This song kinda go hard tho," said Toad.
Nintendo HQ
At Nintendo HQ, the grand, imposing building that served as the epicenter of all things Mario and his friends, chaos ensued in one of the executive offices. The head exec, Shuntaro Furukawa, was playing a heated round of Hanafuda by himself, when he got a notification on his phone, startling him to the point of dropping his cards. He checked it out. It was a new video from one of his YouTube subscriptions, GameXplain.
"Goddamn it," he grumbled, seeing the GameXplain video. "Another leak? Can't these bastards piss off already?" He shook his head. "Guess I'm gonna need to order MORE lasers."
He then got notified of a starting KICK stream, from... Toad?
"Hmm?" He pulled up the notification. "Playing Mario Wonder Early?" His eyes raised. "Woo-hoo?"
Furukawa shook his head and slammed an alarm button. Moments later, his loyal servant entered the room and inquired, "What's the matter, sir?"
"Toad. Mario Wonder stream. Mario's house. Kill."
"Bu-But sir, we can't just kill them!" said the flustered servant. "We-We need them to make money."
"...Hurt them then. A lot. Call it tough love," said Furukawa.
"Understood. I'll tell the others," he sighed. He began to walk out the room.
"Plumber Cave"
As they continued their gaming session, Toad's stomach rumbled.
"Hey buddy-a, you got a bear in there-a?" chuckled Mario.
"Yeah," said Toad. "I think he wants, uh..." He put his hand to his head. "Oh! He wants... a large Papa John's pizza."
"Hmm, that would sound good-a right bout now. Y'all down?" asked Mario. Yoshi and Jerry nodded, Yoshi already starting to drool.
"Woulda preferred Litos but if that's what y'all want, I'm good with Papa John. 'Least it ain't Domi-no," chuckled Jerry.
"Hell no, man, who you think I am? I ain't tryna poison y'all!" Toad picked up the house phone and started to dial, but Jerry nudged him.
"I'll do it. I ain't really doin' nothin' right now," said Jerry.
"Aight, bet." Toad passed him the phone, and Jerry used his legs to tap the numbers. The line picked up.
"What y'all want?" asked Jerry.
"Let's get a large pepperoni, uh, with that stuffed crust too!" said Toad.
"Aight bet, I'll get a cheese for myself," said Jerry. "If you good with that, fat plumber boy."
"Sure, fine by me," said Mario, ignoring the insult. "Oh, don't forget the garlic sauce!" said Mario. "They always forget. Drill it in-a."
"Yeah!" said Toad. "Tell 'em you'll burn down the building if they forget!"
Jerry chuckled and said "You heard that right?"
"...Yeah..." muttered a nervous dispatch officer.
"Yoshi Yoshi! (Yoshi want a million pizzas!)" Yoshi chimed in.
Jerry paused mid-sentence. After about 2 seconds, he gave the order. "Yeah, one large pepperoni with stuffed crust, one cheese, and uh, ignore the retard that asked for a million pizzas."
"Okay," said the dispatch officer. "Cash or credit?"
"Uh..." Jerry hung up mid-sentence.
Surveying the stream, the HQ president said "Oh, okay, buddy. track that order. Lag behind the pizza man."
"Plumber Cave"
The smell of pizza permeated the room. The quadrio kept indulging, in good food and good times. They were now midway through the final level of the World, World 1 Tower, "Pipe-Rock Plateau Palace".
As Toad continued playing, he was scrolling through his Kick chat. Most of the messages were simple empty hype, but his eyes widened as he got to one particularly ominous message. "We're coming for you," it read, and it was signed by none other than 'Nintendo HQ president'.
"Hm?" said the plumber, pausing right before he landed the last stomp on Junior. "Whatcha doin buddy-a?"
He looked at the phone, noticing the "Kick" logo. "Wait, are you..." Mario then read through the chat, and pieced together the clues. His expression shifted from suprise to disbelif. "You-You idiot!" he yelled. "What the hell are you doing?!"
He grabbed at Toad's phone; in spite of the latter's protest, Mario wrestled the phone out Toad's hands and tapped 'End Stream'. The room fell silent as Mario panted and shot Toad a death glare.
"Okay geez, muttered Toad.
A couple minutes later, everything returned to normal. The room was filled with laughter again as they reached the first boss of the game, Bowser Junior.
"Did he just... turn us tiny?" Mario laughed.
"He's taking baby steps," laughed Toad. "Maybe in 10 years, he'll learn to just use an instant death spell or something."
A few minutes later though, the jovial mood of the room got interrupted again by persistent knocking on the front door.
Mario quizzically eyed Jerry. "Did you order another pizza?"
Jerry, with a mouth full of pizza and bits of cheese on his chin, mumbled a muffled "Nuh-uh."
Before he could press him further, the door to the "Plumber Cave" slammed open. Luigi rushed into the room and slammed the shut soon as his feet touched the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs "What the fuck did you do this time-a, Mario?!" between raspy breaths.
As he held down the door, Mario Yoshi, Toad and Jerry turned to face Luigi, surprised by his unexpected outburst. Luigi's eyes darted around the room as the knocks on the front door intensified. "Bro-Bro! The cops! The-They're trying to knock the goddamn door down! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Luigi yelled again.
Mario covered his mouth, sweat collecting on his forehad. Luigi narrowed his eyes a bit, noticing that for some reason their good pal Toad was there, looking guilty and nervously waving hi.
"...W-What's Toad doing here, Mario? You didn't tell me he was coming..."
Then he saw Jerry and his eyes widened. "...A-And who's this?! W-What the-What, the hell, is a Goomba doing here?!" screamed Luigi, pointing at Jerry. "W-Who are you?" he asked.
"Your dad, 'cause I fucked yer mom last night," said Jerry.
Ignoring the remark, Luigi scanned the rest of the room. His eyes landed on Mario's PC, playing the post World 1 cutscene of Super Mario Wonder on Ryujinx. Then he saw Toad's phone on the ground, still on the Kick app; the whole room told a very complete story.
"Of course Mario... of course," grumbled Luigi, putting his face in his hand.
At that moment, the door to the office finally gave in; the door got kicked open, sending Luigi tumbling on the floor. The rest watched wide eyed as a bunch of armed cops swarmed in the "Plumber Cave". One of the police officers leapt at Jerry and flattened him with a perfect Goomba stomp, knocking him out, complete with the sound effect.
Mario and Toad looked at each other, their eyes looking like flying saucers as the cops started kicking down everything in the room. Mario, sweating, grabbed Yoshi and hurled him at the cops. He faced Toad and motioned to the window. Both ran.
With a surpised yelp of "Yoshi!", Yoshi soared in the air and crashed into a flustered cop like a ragdoll, confusing the officers and providing Mario and Toad with time.
They reached the window, which Toad pulled open. "Mario, hurry!" Toad waved him to the window, starting to crawl out himself. "There's some good grass over-"
Toad's words trailed off as he saw a couple police cars pulling up with a whole new batch of cops.
"Why'd you stop-" Mario stuck his head out the window and grimaced. "Oh... mama mia..." He put his hand on his head and shook it. The two turned and see the cops slamming Yoshi to the ground, punching his face amidst pained squeals.
Toad, panting, turned to Mario. "Bruh. We... We're done. We're so fuckin done man."
"Yeah, I guess we are..." sighed Mario.
"You don't have any ideas?"
"I... Toad, you... you see that right?" He pointed to Yoshi, bleeding from the nose as the cops kept brutalizing him. "T-There's way too many of them. I... I think we'll have to face the music man. I'm sorry."
And with that, Mario held up his hands in surrender. While it took slightly longer for him, Toad threw up his hands too.
In the middle of a stomp to Yoshi's face, one of the cops noticed the duo's surrender. "Hey Jack. They're giving up."
"Awesome. Can we still beat this dinosaur?" said Jack.
"Sure. Who's gonna stop us? The cops?"
Jack kicked Yoshi in the side as he turned on his walkie talkie. "You can come in now, Furukawa."
The president, Furukawa came in. He surveyed the room around him. It was truly a sight to behold. Scattered books and papers everywhere. Luigi moaning and picking himself off the floor. The unconscious body of Jerry flattened in his beanbag. Yoshi's bloodied body, nose broken at a funny angle, with Jack and the other cop high fiving each other next to him. And of course, Mario and Toad, looking like two kids caught eating cookies before desert, holding their hands up with looks of guilt as the remaining cops surrounded them and jammed guns at their face.
"Don't worry, he doesn't bite," chuckled one of the cops, poking Mario's face with his pistol.
Furukawa gritted his teeth and motioned the cops away. As the cops parted, he walked up to Mario and shot him a death glare that would put Luigi to shame. Mario seemed to shrink as his employer began to rip into him.
"You know what I was doing before this?" He poked Mario in the head. "Do you?" Mario looked down, suddenly really interested in the textures of brown on his shoes.
"Hanafuda. And I was winning too! I was about to beat my best time against myself!" He shook his head. "I'm just too good, I'm the only person that can beat me. Pretty lonely. But back on subject. I could have been playing Hanafuda, but you just had to leak our game.
A Nintendo HQ executive walked up to them sternly.
"You guys should not have leaked Wonder."
"Look, TECHNICALLY, we didn't even leak the game. We just...uh...downloaded a leak of it. And played it. You-You know that's... that's not the same, right?" muttered Mario, ever the quick thinker.
"Mario, please just shut up. Downloading copyrighted content without permission is illegal, no matter how you spin it. You've set a bad example for the Mario brand."
Toad muttered a near inaudible "I'm sorry."
The police officers, while maintaining a vigilant stance, seemed to be more amused than anything. Jack chuckled and muttered to his colleague, "I can't believe we're gonna be arresting Mario."
"I don't think the charges for this include jail time," said his colleague. "I can see some fines, and maybe community service in their future." Mario gulped.
"I had nothing to do with this by the way," said Luigi.
A week later...
"Wow! This game is IT," said Luigi, clutching the controller as he tried to hang onto the back of the Bulrushes in "Bulrush Express", failing and falling into the acid for the tenth straight time. "This level's kinda dumb though," he said with a frown.
In the aftermath of their legal ordeal, Mario, Yoshi, Jerry, and Toad sure faced the music.
Mario was charged with copyright infringement, distribution of copyrighted material, and conspiracy. Yoshi, being a minor in human years, faced charges of copyright infringement and conspiracy. Jerry and Toad were charged with copyright infringement and conspiracy, with Toad also facing an additional charge of contributory copyright infringement for live-streaming the game. But who cares about little things like that right?
Not Nintendo, 'cause they went even further. Nintendo released a Day 1 patch that removed Mario, Yoshi, and all instances of the Goomba enemy and its subspecies from the game. In addition, a planned Red Toad DLC got cancelled, and the game got renamed "Super Luigi Wonder".
"Kinda wish you could play too, bro," mused Luigi. "But y'know..."
"You don't have to gloat," muttered Mario.
"Okay don't get all pissy."
END