A/N: I wrote this fic years ago and for some reason or another, decided not to post it. I stumbled upon it recently and thought I might as well chuck it into the fanfiction universe. It's an all human AU , so no zombies, but I have incorporated most of the characters from the series.
This fic spans over 20 years, the layout is a bit different to the average fic. There are time jumps between each chapter, so they are titled with their current age. Most chapters are separated into parts , to show different things that happened at that age. (Dont get it?, don't worry, you'll see what I mean.)
Trigger warnings for absolutely every type of violence you can imagine. Please don't read if your sensitive to storied about child abuse, domestic violence, assault or drug use...or anything else horrible you can think of.
Aftermath
AGE 10 : PART 1
Carol
She had been taken to a cabin on the outskirts of town, where the Dixon's lived, being forced to make friends with their son who was obviously not impressed with the situation either.
He was a scruffy looking thing. That had been her first impression.
The knees of his jeans had rips and his shirt had stains that matched the smears of dirt over his cheek. His hair was messy, hanging over his eyes. It was so unruly that he had to keep swiping it back so he could see. It drove her insane. She swore she could feel her own brow itch and her own vision blur every time the locks dropped back down over his face.
Though he had yet to speak a word to her, it was very obvious that he was not looking to be friends with a girl. Or possibly anyone. Ever. He looked like he would much prefer to hang around in the woods with a pack of wolves, rather then standing here in front of her.
His face scrunched as his mother lightly shoved him towards her.
"Say hello, Daryl" His mother urged, but instead of complying he folded his arms and let his scowl take over every feature of his face.
"Daryl!"
The sound of the mans voice was low and firm. It had sent a shiver down her spine and she wanted to tell them all that it was fine, Daryl didn't have to talk to her. He didn't have to be her friend. None of this was necessary. But the sound of his fathers voice obviously sent the same shudder through him, because Daryl instantly stepped forward and held his hand out.
He looked up at her through hooded eyes and mumbled a hello. She reached out and returned the gesture quickly. She shook his hand and forced a smile that he didn't return.
This was typical. Not Daryl's reaction to her, she didn't know him. But the situation was typical. She had lived through a variation of it dozens of times over.
Her Father had dragged them across the country to the small town East Point. It was the tenth move the three of them had made and she knew that there was nothing she could do but smile and pretend to be happy about being pushed into another town where she had no friends. She was alone. Her parents on the other hand had found new drinking buddies within days of arriving.
Her father, Joseph, worked construction and had done so since he was he was a teenager. His long years spent on the work sites made it easy for him a job work and make friends quickly. He was good at sifting through people to find ones that were suited to his 'lifestyle choices', ones that made life with Joseph and Nancy unbearable. But unbearable or not, they were her parents and she was stuck with them.
And right now, though she knew nothing about him, she was sure Daryl was stuck in a very similar situation.
The show must have been enough for their parents. She was quickly introduced to Hank and Claire Dixon who looked about as messed up as her own parents. Claire was pretty, much prettier then her own mother. She had sandy blonde hair and blindingly blue eyes that matched Hanks and Daryl's. Hank on the other hand was horrifyingly tall, with solid broad shoulders. His light brown hair was much like Daryl's and the more she looked him over, the more she could see the resemblance of Hank in Daryl. It was something she overlooked at first. It was something she was sure that a lot of people overlooked.
Hank let of a vibe that was intimidating and the quick changes in his face were unpredictable, forcing you to wonder what he was thinking. But she didn't feel that coming off Daryl at all.
Even though the scruffy boy looked as though he wanted to tell everyone around him to leave him alone, his eyes still showed that he wouldn't dare do such a thing. He was angry, he was uncomfortable, but it was all there on his face. There was nothing intimidating about Daryl. If anything she wondered if he was ok. His eyes starred down at his feet but there was something blank in them, as though he was lost in his own head.
Finally their parents told them to go and play, laughing amongst themselves before they went inside. Leaving her with the scruffy, cranky boy who looked like he would rather be anywhere else in the world then standing there with her.
They stood still, unmoving from their forced positions until their parents made their way inside.
His eyes seemed to be fixed on her shoes and though she didn't think that it was even possible, his frown had deepened, .
"It's ok. You can go." She offered, expecting him to leave before she even finished talking. But he didn't move an inch.
He kept his head lowered but peered up at her, looking at her through the messy hair that had once again fallen in front of his face.
He studied her for a long moment before his eyes drifted over to the house. She could see him considering something, could see his jaw tighten before he suddenly stuffed his hands into his pockets and spun around.
"Just c'mon"
His request was not inviting. She thought very seriously about not following him and just heading inside. Before she could decide what her next move would be he stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. For a very brief moment his scowl disappeared and she could see desperation and fear. Desperation for her to follow him, fear that she wouldn't.
Inside the house, or following Daryl,… Honestly neither option was really appealing. Being inside with their parents would be loud and miserable. Being out here with him would be awkward and she would have to deal with being unwanted. But she really didn't want to him to get in trouble.
She crossed her arms and started walking, very annoyed with herself for caring if he got in trouble and irritated that she really didn't have a better option then to follow him.
His scowl quickly returned and he turned to head into the woods that surround their old house. They had only walked a few minutes before the cover of the trees started to thin and she could see the lake and a long old jetty, but it was at the bottom of a steep rocky hill.
She was nervous and quite obviously not dressed for the hike, but she was determined to make the trip. He slowed his pace and started stepping down the slope, every move he made was calculated and cautious, but it was also very obvious that he had made the journey a hundred times.
She followed him closely, while quietly cursing her parents for making her wear this this stupid dress.
It was harder then he made it look, though she refused to voice that out aloud. She watched his feet closely trying to mimic him and place her feet into the same spots he had.
They were almost half way when she felt the small collection of stones shift under her.
They made her loose her balance and release a gasp. A few of the stones slid out from under her shoe and rolled down the hill passed him, making his head turn in their direction. She fell forward, sure she was going to hit the ground, when he suddenly spun around.
It had happened fast. But she didn't miss a bit of it.
His foot planting into the dirt like an anchor, his hands reaching out and grabbing a hold of hers.
His eyes were wide and fixed on her and he released a heavy sigh of relief when he caught her in time.
"Sorry"
The whispered apology was ignored as his eyes scanned over her. He helped steady her, then looked down at her feet.
She expected him to let go of her hands, for the scowl to return, or him to tell her she was hopeless.
He didn't do any of those things.
Instead he angled himself so that he was standing side on, while he continued to lead her the rest of the way down the hill.
She tried to pay attention to what she was doing, very aware of the fact that if she slipped again she would land on him, but he seemed more then willing to cushion her fall and she couldn't understand why.
When her feet were suddenly planted on flat ground again he eyed her cautiously, not letting her go until she gave him a nod, that he returned.
He looked over her once more, still assessing her, searching for an injury he might have missed.
"We'll take the other way back" he mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck and once again swiped the hair from his face.
She nodded. "Ok… Thanks"
She looked around a noticed a tent, a burnt out fire and scattered belongings.
The patch of land looked lived in and she wondered just how much of his time was spent down here.
She suddenly felt uneasy, like she was invading in on his personal space. Like she had just walked into someone's home without being invited.
He looked around nervously and his cheeks burnt before head dropped his head and he walked behind the tent, quickly returning with two fishing poles and a tackle box.
He didn't wait for her, he didn't even look in her direction, he just started walking off towards the jetty. She followed him and wondered how he could look so comfortable walking on the rotting wood, how he could trust it not to break beneath his feet. Or how it appeared that he didn't care if it did.
She stopped at his side when he shoved one of the fishing poles in her direction. She took it without out question and stood by watching him as he got down on his knees and opened up the tackle box.
"Worms are there" he pointed out, gesturing to the container by her feet.
"Worms?" she spat, instantly cringing.
She wished she had have been able to hide the disgust from her voice, that she hadn't sounded like such a distressed girl. That was until she heard a sound emerge from Daryl, one she had doubted he was capable of. A low and muffled laugh that he was struggling to contain behind the brash grin, only revealed as he looked up at her.
"You done this before?" he questioned, a hint of the smile remaining on his lips.
She wanted to say yes. Lie, so she didn't look completely useless. But as she looked down at the pole in her hands she knew it would be stupid to tell a lie that would come undone in a few seconds. His face softened when she didn't respond, as if he could read her thoughts through her expression.
Daryl
He knew that look well. He didn't mean to laugh at her, it was the revulsion in her tone that had made him laugh, not the fact the she didn't know how to fish. Now he felt like an ass.
"here" he mumbled, giving the wooden plank beside him a hard pat. She instantly accepted the offer and crouched down next to him.
He didn't look up to gauge her expression when he pulled the lid of.
"I'll bait it for ya. It's kinda gross"
He didn't care about the worms, he was hungry and he didn't have time to worry about their feelings or how slimy they were. But he didn't want to make her feel bad either, so he threw in the gross remark to make her feel better.
He was aware that he'd been cold and was acting like a prick. He found it hard to be anything else when all he could think about was how much the back of his head still hurt. How he just wanted to be left alone. But none of that was her fault.
Minutes before her family arrived he had kicked over his fathers beer by accident. It had been left on the ground by the sofa and he hadn't seen it when he was walking by. There was only a few sips left, but it hadn't made any difference to his father.
Seconds after the bottle had been knocked over, he was falling it to the floor alongside it, after receiving a hard slap to the back of his head, before he was yanked back up again. The round of insults that followed the hit had left him feeling drained and all he wanted now was silence. But again he knew. That wasn't Carol's fault.
"Put ya finger here"
He stood by her side, adjusting her hands into the right position. She followed instructions well and he was glad because he was not known for his patients.
"Take your finger off the line when you cast it. When you see it hit the water push this part down, that will stop the line from releasing"
He stood back once he walked her through it, wondering if he should have gone first to show her how its done.
He could hear her repeating the instructions to herself like a chant, taking a deep breathe before nodding her head to herself.
She did everything just as he had said and he couldn't help let out a laugh when the sinker hit the water.
"Nice" he announced with a clap of his hands, making her turn and smile before focusing back on the water. Once he cast his own line he found himself sitting by her side in a comfortable silence, that he was grateful for.
He was lost in his own head for almost an hour when she suddenly bounced into his side.
He looked over to see her looking very confused and a little freaked out. The fishing pole had a strong bend in it and it was jerking back and forth harshly.
"You got one. Quick. Get up" he ordered, grabbing her arm yanking her off the ground.
"You take it, I 'll mess it up" she pressed, shaking her head nervously.
"Nah. Its your catch. You gotta do it ya self"
Truthfully he was scared she'd mess it up. There was a chance this was their only shot at dinner and he was staving. But he wasn't here to make anyone feel useless, he knew how that felt and he didn't want any part of it.
She wound the reel and stepped back quickly when the fish appeared flapping around in the air.
From there he took over. She didn't like the look of the worms, she surely wouldn't like that came next.
They didn't talk while he cleaned the fish, though she paid very close attention to what he was doing.
Every now and then he heard the grunts of disgust from her, but she tried very hard to cover them up. They didn't talk when he started the fire or when he cooked it. But he was determined to talk to her while they ate.
He wanted to make her feel a bit more comfortable. He had been in her position many times before and he knew how unsettling it was not knowing where you were, who you were with or what was going to happen.
"You sleep down here?" she asked looking over at the tent. It wasn't his favourite subject but he was happy that she started the conversation off.
"Yeah. It's kinda crappy but at least it's quiet."
She nodded and raised her brow as if she completely understood why made the choice to sleep in the woods alone.
He was trying to figure out something to ask her when he heard two loud voices emerging from the woods. Carol's head snapped in the direction of the noise then back to him, he rolled his eyes at her knowing exactly who was coming.
"Something smells good" Paul announced as he jumped from the cover of the woods into plain sight.
"Yeah, where's ours?" Dwight asked as he followed Paul out.
"In the lake. Help ya self" he offered said with smirk as he took another bite.
"Who's this?" Paul asked giving Carol a big inviting grin.
"This is Carol. Carol that's Paul and Dwight Rovia" He explained, watching her give a friendly hello.
"What's it like up there?" he questioned watching them both exchange a look before meeting his gaze again.
"Gonna be a late one." Dwight said trying to keep a light tone while he delivered the bad news. He looked over at Carol and noticed the brief flash of annoyance before she forced the composed expression to return. This was obviously not her first rodeo.
"Where's Merle" Dwight asked looking around like Merle would appear out of the woods at any moment.
"Don't know. Haven't seen him in days" He shrugged, trying to keep his tone flat, not wanting anyone to think he cared.
They both looked around nervously and he knew what was coming. He shook his head and glared at the moron twins.
"I ain't covering for ya's." He announced while he continued to eat his fish.
"We won't be late. We'll be back before they get up."
"Good. Ya don't need nothin from me then" he said still keeping hes gaze locked on his plate while he picked at his food.
"But if we aren't back in time-" Paul said with a sly smile before he was cut off.
"If ya aren't back in time ya screwed. I don't want nothing to do with it." Daryl said shaking his head as he wiped his hands over his pants.
The brothers looked at each other, silently deliberating their next move before they exchanged a shrug.
"Might see ya in the mornin then" Paul said, followed by Dwight who told him he was expecting breakfast when he got back. Both of them grinned at Carol before running off. He could hear them laughing in the distance, making him shake his head at how comfortable they were with the possibility of getting their heads smacked together if their father found out they'd ran off.
"Where are they going?" Carol asked still looking in the direction they'd run off in.
"Dwight's going to see his girlfriend... Sherry I think her names is, and Paul is going to see his boyfriend Aaron." As soon as the words left his mouth he clamped his eyes closed.
Shit.
"look. I shouldn't have said that" he said trying to backtrack. She looked at him confused, obviously wondering why he was so panicked all of a sudden.
"You can't say anything to anyone about Paul. If his dad finds out he'll kill him."
"I wont say any-"
"Seriously, I'm pretty sure he will actually kill him-"
"Daryl. I wont say anything, it's ok."
He eyed her cautiously for a moment longer, looking for any sign she was lying.
"I swear" she added, locking her eyes with his.
He nodded in response.
He believed her, she obviously wasn't one to talk much anyway. Though neither was he and he had just unloaded the mother of all secrets.
Now he wasn't so much worried now about Carol telling, as much as he was with wondering why he opened his big mouth.
"Where does that path lead to?" she asked looking in the direction the boys had headed and interrupting him while he scolded himself.
"Depends. Ya can cut off and head into town. Or you can follow it right to the Good side of the tracks" he said with a snort as he opened his bag and pulled out a bottle of water, offering it to her.
"Good side?" she asked as she took the bottle.
"Yeah. Ya know. Good part of town"
"And we would be on the bad side?" She asked after taking a long sip from the bottle, her brow creased like she was a bit confused with the conversation.
He couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Yeah we are"
"What about where I live?" she questioned, eyeing him with a creased brow.
"Wheres that?" he questioned licking his fingers clean.
"Jefferson street"
"Fuck. Be careful over there." He said very seriously.
His brother was a complete deadbeat who didn't give two shits about him and even he would loose his shit if he got seen hanging out around there.
"Great" she said sarcastically, flashing a fake smile.
"No. It's fine" he added, feeling like an ass once again.
It wasn't fine, the area was a shit hole, the only people it was fine for were junkies and criminals. And he doubted she was either of those.
"It's better then most places around here. Just don't go wandering around at night" The added comment earned him a smile, but he didn't know why.
When it started getting late and he wondered what he was supposed to do with her. She didn't seemed like one of those girly girls who was gonna start crying when it got dark, but he didn't really wanna make her walk around the woods when it was pitch black.
"You wanna go back?" he questioned, seeing her get instantly uncomfortable at the idea.
"You can take my room, save ya dealing with their shit all night"
She seemed to relax a bit more with the offer as he got up dusting his pants off, ready to go.
"We can go up the hill if it's quicker. I can do it" she offered trying to sound confident, but he wasn't buying it.
"No. It's fine. Its just as quick going the other way."
It really wasn't. It turned a five minute trip into a fifteen minute trip, but there was no damn way he was going through that again. She scarred the shit outta him. He didn't wanna see her get hurt, she seemed nice enough. And if he didn't return her in the same condition he found her then he would have to deal with his father who was always looking for a reason to loose his mind. It wasn't worth it at all.
They had walked in silence the whole way and he hopped it wasn't making her uncomfortable. But he had no way of knowing.
By the time they made their way back it was almost dark and a chill was starting to fill the air. He looked over at her dress and was sure she was feeling it more then he was, though she hadn't said anything about being cold.
He was wishing he had a jacket to offer her as they made their way up the dirt driveway, that was until he had to wonder if bringing her back here was a good idea. Wondering if they were better off in the dark and cold safety of the woods.
There were cars everywhere, loud voices echoing all around them. He had seen the sight many times before and he knew that things were definitely going to get worse there before they got better.
When he looked over at her she seemed very comfortable with the chaotic surroundings and that pissed him of, but he couldn't figure out why.
They got close enough that he could see through the window, her parents were in the kitchen and they were obviously hammered. He kept looking around as they got closer, slowing down to take in his surroundings as she started to walk ahead of him.
He decided that he would just barricade his bedroom door for her. He could push his chest of drawers in front of it, maybe hammer a nail in and come back in the morning to help her get out.
She'll be fine. I'm not her babysitter he thought, until he noticed Joe making his way into the house. His breath hitched at the sight and he quickly reached forward and grabbed her hand, yanking her back to his side, causing her trip over her own feet and almost fall down.
"What's wrong?" she asked steadying herself as her eyes danced over his face looking for answers. He put his finger to his lips and shushed her.
We gotta get outta here, he thought in a panic.
He walked backwards dragging her along, making sure that no one had seen them.
He knew what his parents were like, if they saw them they'd want him to go inside and listen to them talk shit. He was fine with that, he was used to it. But there was no way he was taking her in there while Joe was there.
"What's wrong?" she asked looking over her shoulder towards the house.
"You cant stay here." He growled, dragging her along with him.
"My parents-"
"Your parents are shit faced, they won't notice a damn thing"
He knew that was the problem. They wouldn't notice a thing. They wouldn't notice some creep sniffing around their daughter or be able to help her if she was in trouble.
He held onto her hand tightly, scared she would decide to turn around and go back. Scared she wouldn't keep the brisk pace he had set and someone would notice them.
When they returned to his campsite he stopped and looked at her. The fire was still burning and he could clearly see her face. She looked way to comfortable with the idea of sleeping out here, with being dragged away from a house and told she couldn't go back there.
He didn't know many kids who lived the way he did, who had parents like his, but right then he was fairly fuckin certain that Carol was in the same boat he was in.
"I'll get you something warm" he said letting go of her hand and going over to his tent to pull out his bag.
He didn't have much, but he was sure there was a sweater to keep her warm.
When he pulled it out he looked it over, it was filthy like all his clothes. He wasn't sure if he should even offer it to her, until she was at his side taking it from him with a smile.
"Thanks" she said, not hesitating to throw it on. He quickly grabbed a big log and threw it on the fire, hoping it would keep the area warm enough for her.
"Now what?" she asked as she pulled her head through and tucked her hands inside the sleeves.
He scratched the back of his head. Now what?
He shrugged, not sure what he was supposed to offer as entertainment.
"Well what do you do down here all night"
Xxxxx
They laid in the tent on their stomachs, he had assigned her the job of turning the pages while he held the small torch.
She seemed interested in the comic books, making the occasional comment and letting out giggles when she found something amusing.
Once they finished the first one off he told her to pick another. He had read them all so he wasn't to fussed on the choice.
"Who was that guy" she asked as she went through the pile carefully.
"What?"
"The guy going in your house. The reason we left"
"Just some creep. Not worth worrying about"
"You looked worried" she added quietly, making him huff and look over at her.
He knew that her parents would most likely bring her back here again, that she would be a regular in the mix and it was best that he warn her.
"Just stay away from him. If your ever there when he shows up just leave and come down here. Don't get stuck in the house with him while every ones shitfaced. It ain't safe."
She chewed the corner of her lip and nodded. He didn't want to freak her out, but at the same time he wanted her to be on guard around Joe, hell, he wanted her to flat out run if she was anywhere near that particular asshole.
They continued to read comics for another hour or so, until he noticed her eyelids starting to get heavy. "Ready for sleep?" he asked, watching her yawn heavily at the thought. He tossed the comic aside and rolled over onto his back trying to get comfortable, even though he was cold.
Merle had given him five rules to follow when it came to girls and the first was that he had to make sure they were warm, cause he reckoned they got colder then boys or just complained about it more. Either way, he had handed over the sleeping bag and was not going to make her feel bad about it when he had dragged her down here. He could take being cold.
He rolled onto his side and folded his arms around himself ready to go sleep he heard her undoing the zipper and messing around with the sleeping bag.
He didn't want to turn around to see what she was doing, in case it was some private girl stuff. Though he had no idea what that would be.
Fact was she was the only girl he had ever really talked to, even the ones at school avoided him, not that he cared. They seemed like a lot of work. They cried a lot and squealed when they laughed. They all seemed really full on, but Carol didn't seem like them at all. If anything she reminded him more of a boy, but he had no intention on telling her that. He may not have spent time around girls but he didn't have shit for brains either.
He closed his eyes ready to drift off, deciding to ignore her shuffling around, until he felt the sleeping bag, that she had unzipped and turned into a blanket, cover him over and her body move closer to him.
He heard her tell him goodnight and he'd mumbled something of that in reply.
He didn't know her.
Didn't know anything about her. But he knew he liked her.
PART 2
"Why ya gotta sit so close to me" he barked receiving nothing but an eye roll from Carol, something he saw at least 10 times a day since her grand entrance into his life months earlier.
"God your cranky. It's like being around a grumpy old man" she said adjusting the fishing pole in her hands.
"I can hear ya breathin. Yer to close" he snapped.
She rolled her eyes again while she moaned and shifted herself over, putting a small amount of space between them.
She shook her head when he looked over to see that she had barely moved.
"You're really annoying me today, ya know that?" he snapped, making her smile widely.
She leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek, making his flinch and throw his body to the side.
"Stop!" he growled out, moving himself over on the wharf to put more space between them. She laughed and shook her head again, ignoring his glare. But her joy in annoying the shit out of him only mad him angrier.
"Someone send you to earth to piss me off all day?"
"Nope. It's just a hobby, but you make to easy." She laughed to herself for a moment raised her brow. "It would be more of a challenge to see if I could get you to stop being an asshole for twenty minutes"
"Your so weird" he growled with his eyes fixed on the water lapping against the wharf.
"And your extra grouchy today. What gives?" she said casually, looking back to him with a more serious expression.
He shrugged her off and narrowed his eyes.
"Nothin. Can't I just want some space without there having to be something wrong."
"No ya can't. I'm sitting in the same spot that I always sit in. But for some reason it's pissing you off today"
"You wanna eat tonight?" he barked cutting her off before she could continue being all logical and shit.
"Yeah" she answered sweetly, completely unaffected by his bad mood.
"Well ya scaring the fish. So just pipe down"
She shrugged. "Fine"
Xxxxxxxxxx
They ate in silence but it didn't bother her, she knew something was wrong him and the fact that she could always read him only pissed him off. Most people saw him being a prick and would just see it as any other day, she on the other hand seemed to be able to tell one bad mood apart from another and he couldn't figure out how she did it.
"I got ya something" she said with a beaming grin that didn't belong in the gloomy setting.
He watched her start pulling crap out of her bag until she retrieved a plastic bag. It obviously had a book in it and he was wondering what she was trying to pull. If she really was making a hobby out of annoying him today.
She handed him the bag and he looked down at it in her hand. He'd really had a shitty day and it started long before she arrived this afternoon. He wasn't sure he could take much more from her or anyone else today.
"Ya gonna take it?"
He nodded and took the bag holding it in his hands, looking down at it.
"Daryl c'mon"
He let out a huff and reached into the bag and pulled the book out, ready to fake interest or try to go along with the joke, but when he pulled it out he didn't have to do either.
"It's the right one isn't it?" she questioned nervously.
He didn't know why but he felt his lower lip shake at the sight. Felt his chest tighten and his breaths come out in shaky waves.
"X-Men: Days of Future Past, that's what you said. Is there more then one of them? Did I get the wrong edition or something?" she fretted when he didn't move or speak.
He shook his head, unable to take his eyes of the creased copy of the graphic novel in his hands. "How'd you get this?" he mumbled out quietly, trying to keep his voice level.
"Been checking the used bookstores and everywhere else, I thought it might turn up. After four months of searching, I finally got a copy."
"Four months?" He breathed out looking up at her.
"Yeah" she confirmed with a soft smile.
He couldn't even remember telling her about it. He was sure that he had. He had wanted to read if for years and they talked a lot so it would have been discussed at some point. But that wasn't what had his chest stinging.
"Why'd you do that?" he questioned, barely breathing out the words.
"You wanted it. No big deal really"
The casual tone in her explanation confused him, left him waiting for the catch, waiting to see the strings attached. But as he waited for her to continue on he realized she had nothing more to say, all she seemed to have left was a warm smile to offer.
His sights drifted back to the novel, staring at it so he could figure out why he was ready to break down over something he had been so sure would make him happy.
That's when he realized it had nothing to do with the book itself.
Fact was, he couldn't remember the last time anyone had gotten him anything and he knew no one had ever put in any effort to get him something he really wanted. She'd been looking for this for four moths and he had only known her for five.
"Hey" her soft consoling voice broke through his thoughts and he looked back up to her again, staying still when her hand reached up swiped his hair of his face. Something she did at least ten times a day.
"Let's go read it. Well, start reading it anyway..it's pretty long" she said letting his hair fall back into place before she stood up, waiting on him to follow.
Part 3
Her parents didn't seem to really notice her as an actual person. She was just someone for them to control and torment or just flat out ignore for days. They could go weeks without speaking a word to her. Or they talked to her like she was worthless. Both of which made his blood boil.
But he had never seen them hit her and he never felt like he needed to look for evidence that they did. But all of those thoughts were erased one day at school.
He sat next to her, just as he had done since her first day. She never spoke much in class, she always seemed just as focused on the work as he was.
He went through the worksheet quickly, most of it was easy, but when he finished he wanted to see if she was having trouble with the multiple choices at the end. The questions were based on the book the class was reading and she was having trouble with it, mostly because the book was so fucking boring that they fantasized about setting it on fire, but he had been doing his best to take it in.
He scanned over her page without her noticing, watching her read through the last questions. She thoughtlessly reached up and slid her hand under the sleeve of her shirt to scratch a spot below her shoulder when he saw a bruise peaking out from under the fabric.
He didn't think about what he was doing, he just reached out and lifted her sleeve up to see the mark that was wrapped around her thin arm. Quickly she yanked it back down and he pulled his hand away. He was motionless staring at her from his seat, wondering what he was supposed to say or do. She on the other hand was just going to pretend like it didn't happen and he wondered if that's what she had been doing the whole time.
Wasn't like he hadn't asked her if they'd hit her. He had. They were swimming in the lake when she saw him marks on his back that had been left there from his fathers belt. She knew what his father was like and she had already hinted that she knew what was going on, but had never seen the evidence to bring it up. She was easy to talk to and didn't make him feel like shit, so he told her what had happened, using it as an excuse to ask her about her own father, but she had promised him nothing like that had ever happened. Now he was questioning everything she had ever said. Trying to remember the facial expression she had, if there was something he had missed in her words that would have hinted that she was lying.
They never ate in the lunchroom, they always stayed outside away from the crowds. He'd offered to eat in there with her if that's what she wanted. At least give her a shot at meeting some new people so she wasn't stuck with him. But she always dismissed the idea of being around anyone else and he was quietly happy that he didn't have to be alone anymore.
Usually they talked and she even managed to make him laugh every so often and that always made her face light up. But today he didn't feel like poking fun at other students or talking about comic books and she knew it, because she refused to look at him since he had seen the dark painful looking bruise over her skin.
He sat there scrutinizing her small frame across from him, watching her reach into her bag and retrieve two apples and the boring book they were reading in class. She held an apple out to him, but he was still studying her far to closely to notice. She shook her head leaned forward more holding the apple in front of his face. He snatched it from her hand but didn't take his eyes off her face.
"You bring a drink?" she asked casually. It was the first words either of them had spoken, but they were still an attempt at at a change of subject.
He grabbed his bag roughly and yanked the zipper down pulling the bottle of water out and tossing it in the space between them.
His anger was misdirected, he wasn't mad at her but he was pissed off that she had lied to him.
"You gonna tell me what happened?" he questioned in an acidic tone as he took a bite of his apple.
"Nothing to tell" she said confidently and far to casually.
He grunted and gnawed at his bottom lip, trying to calm down, knowing his mood was not helping the situation. He took a deep breath and moved closer to her, lowering his voice even though there was no one around to hear them. "You said he didn't hit ya"
"And he doesn't" she replied quickly, keeping her eyes locked on the book that was open on the ground in front of her.
"Nancy do that to ya then….or someone else?" he didn't think it was possible that her mother had done it, the mark was huge and Nancy was only a small women with smaller hands. But still, he wanted to make sure he hadn't missed something.
"No one hit me" she said, finally snapping her eyes up to his, glaring at him like he was frustrating her.
"I saw the bruise on your arm Carol. Not fuckin blind" he growled.
"He grabbed me. That's it"
He squinted and frowned at the response.
"What's the difference" he snapped watching the defensive expression on her face appear from nowhere.
"It is different" she argued, making his head spin.
Was she fucking serious?
"He do this a lot?" he asked softening his tone, trying to hide how much she was disturbing the shit out of him right now.
He watched as her eyes fell from his for a moment, glancing down at his chest as she considered the question before they flew back up to his face again. In that moment all the anger evaporated and he was left with a sick feeling twisting in his gut. He didn't need her to give him an answer, he knew the answer.
"Just drop it" she said looking down at the book, her eyes narrowed and a heavy crease on her brow.
"You know grabbing, pushing and pulling someone is the same as hitting" He said carefully, making her head snap up.
"No it's not" she almost yelled, raising her voice higher then he had ever heard it.
"Same result. He hurt ya." He said bleakly and watching her very cautiously as he spoke, knowing he had hit a nerve, realizing that she was way more messed up then he had ever thought.
"I've got to go to the library before class" she stammered quickly, grabbing her things and storming off on him.
He looked over his shoulder and watched her leave. He felt bad for upsetting her, but it needed to be said. That way of thinking was bullshit and he wasn't about to let her go on believing that it was ok that someone done that shit to her.
She had only been in his life for ten months, but in that time she had become his best friend. They spent every free minute with each other, not because their parents forced him to or because they were stuck with each other. He was with her now because he liked her, hell, he quietly adored the shit out of her. So he wondered how he hadn't noticed this before.
In her head she wasn't lying when he had asked her, because she thought that if someone didn't aim and swing then it was ok.
He had seen his mother getting dragged around by his father, he had been pushed into a wall and seen his father pull so hard on Merle's arms that he had roared in pain. The shit was violent and it didn't deserve to be put in another category. It didn't take a genius to figure out that your hand was squeezing someone to tightly. Joesph was a prick but he wasn't brain dead, he would've known what he was doing was hurting her. But he did it anyway.
He walked her home just as he did everyday, only now it was in silence and she was walking much faster then she usually did.
He didn't question her again or try to break the silence, instead he hoped that what he had said was going through her head an making some kind of sense to her.
He reached her street and stopped in the spot where they usually parted ways. He half expected her to walk away without a word, but her steps faltered when his did.
He stood there looking over her nervously, concerned with the way she was starring at his feet.
"I'll see you tonight" she said in a flat tone, never looking up at him.
"Yeah. I'll meet you out front"
She nodded in reply before turning and making her way up the pathway towards her house. He kept an eye on her as he veered off towards the woods, finding the trail that would lead him home.
His house was on the outskirts of town and if he stuck to the roads it was almost a forty minute walk from her house, but the trail cut that in half.
He had worn out the ground himself, taking the same route everyday for months, creating a clear path that led him right to his driveway.
They both knew he had an even shorter route home, that taking her back to her street was out of his way, but he insisted on making the journey.
At first it was just so that everyone could see him with her, he didn't know how much good it would do, but it was worth a try.
He figured if the junkies and scumbags who lived around her got to see him with her then they would leave her be. He was the nephew of a drug dealer, the son of a psychopath and the little brother of a criminal.
That was why no one ever messed with him. He just hoped that affiliation would rub off onto her. Something he thought he would never wish upon anyone.
When he got home he found the sight he had expected. Cars already in the driveway, music blasting and people wandering around the lot. It was going to be a typical Friday night and he had at least a few hours until he could leave.
He walked passed everyone outside and headed in the front door, finding Merle sitting on the kitchen bench talking to their mother and the Uncle Jessie.
"Hey shithead" his brother chimed when he caught his eye.
He was used to his brothers colourful greetings so much that all did now was nod in reply, rather then get annoyed with whatever remark he had decided throw at him. He looked over his mother for a few seconds, looking at how she was leaning into the bench to keep herself steady. He looked around her and didn't see a drink, all he saw was a smoke hanging from between her fingers. She wasn't drunk, he knew what she looked like when she was drunk.
"How was school" Merle quipped with a slight quirk in his mouth.
"Fine. How was Early intervention?" he teased with a smug smile, making Jessie release a loud cackle while his mother threw him a sly smile.
"Don't think they got him early enough" Jessie mocked giving Merle a playful shove to the arm. The program was supposed to help him before he became a full fledged criminal, try and help him stay on track before he landed himself back in juvenile detention again. But all it did was introduce him to more delinquents and make him even worse then he had been.
He left them talking about Merle's most recent altercation and headed off to his room. He was half way up the stairs when he heard Merle following him. He didn't look back and his brother didn't stop him or say a word until he got into his room.
He dropped his bag down and started going through his stuff looking for his jacket when he heard Merle close the bedroom door.
"Ya heading off tonight, right?"
"Yeah. Mom's already shit faced, I don't wanna be here when when the real party starts"
Mele nodded, clearly relieved. "Good"
"Why. Where you going" he asked knowing the only reason Merle wanted to know was because he wasn't planning on hanging around either.
"Going over to Dwight's, he's having a little get together" Meaning they were gonna get drunk and smoke weed.
"Second generation of dickheads" he mumbled tossing aside his blanket and smiling when he saw the jacket sitting there on his mattress.
"Yeah yeah, you're a funny little fucker, I get it" his brother stuttered out, making him instantly frown. He turned and looked at Merle when he heard the way his words strung together. Examining how rigid his posture was.
"You high" he asked looking him up and down.
"Can you just get ya shit and go somewhere else" Merle snapped, looking very exposed.
"Jesus Merle. Why not just stay here if ya gonna take that crap."
"Cause I still have my good senses. And standards."
"Yeah you're real smart" he said hearing the loud roar of his fathers truck pull up to the house. Merle walked over to the window and looked down, watching their father make his way up to the small crowd of people that were talking outside.
The look on his brothers face was enough to make his own blood boil. Merle was fearless, he could do anything without a second thought. But he was just as intimidated by their father as he was and it pissed him off knowing that.
No one was safe from their old man, if he wanted to hit someone he would go after the first person he saw, but he didn't go after anyone they way he went after Merle.
"When you leaving?" he asked making his brother turn back from the window to face him.
"Soon. Gotta talk to Hank about something and then I'm gonna slip out"
"What you gotta talk to him about?"
"Nothing you need to worry about" Merle said ruffling his hair as he passed him.
"Go as soon as she gets here. Don't linger. They are getting on the heavy shit tonight" he added before leaving his room and closing the door behind him.
He shook his head and run his fingers through his hair, trying to straighten it back up.
He didn't understand what was wrong with Merle, how he could grow up around this and still do dumb shit that would assure he ended up just like them.
He walked over the window and waited until he saw Merle and Jessie make their way out to meet up with his father. The three of them walked off on their own and moved in close together.
He didn't know what they were doing but he knew it was something pretty fucked up. He was used to seeing Jessie and father make quiet exchanges but recently he had seen Merle getting involved too and he wondered what the three of them were up to and if it was going to land his brother back in lock up. They weren't exactly close, but he was the only person who looked out for him or gave a shit about him and he hated it when he wasn't around.
He made his way down stairs trying to prepare himself for putting up with a bunch of loud lunatics. If it weren't for Carol he would already be planning his escape but he had at least another hour until she arrived and he needed to start blending into the crowd.
He had tried waiting in his room until she got there, but then he was noticed when he came downstairs and they always ended up getting stuck there.
He found if he just hung around then eventually none would notice if he just pissed off soon after her arrival.
He spotted his mother talking to Jessie and made his way past the people talking in the living room to get to them.
"There he is" his mother called out when she spotted him. He forced a smile and lifted himself up onto the bench alongside Jessie.
"You need a haircut" his mother said with a warm smile wiping his fringe out of his eyes. He nodded and laughed swatting her hand away.
"Got a head of hair on him like Hank" Jessie said to his mother making them both laugh and miss the scowl that fell on his face.
"He's Hanks double. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree" His mother said proudly while his scowl deepened. He wanted to ask what the hell they were talking about, but at the same time he knew it was just better to shut his mouth. That thought was only cemented when his father came strolling in.
"Claire!"
His mothers head instantly turned to his father, flashing a smile that was seemingly only reserved for him. His father took one look at him before draping his arm over his mothers shoulder and leading her off into the hallway.
Jessie started telling him about something funny Merle had done, but he couldn't pay attention to the story. He couldn't stop looking at his parents, wondering how they could be standing there with their hands all over each other and laughing, then minutes later they could be at each others throats.
"So wheres ya girl?" Jessie asked giving him a light shove to get his attention.
"Be here soon" he said with a shrug, looking over his shoulder to peer out the kitchen window, wishing she would hurry up.
It didn't take long before Jessie was pulled away and he was left sitting alone in the kitchen, he was sure he had been sitting there for at least an hour when his father came out of nowhere and yanked him of the counter by his shirt.
"You been in my room?"
His fathers voice was cold and low as he held him in place.
"I haven't" He choked out while pulling at the neckline of his shirt, trying to stop it from strangling him.
"Hank I found it" his mothers voice called out from another room, barely breaking through the music. His fathers head snapped up before using his hold on him to push him down to the ground, not even looking back as he left.
He rubbed his neck and tightened his jaw, trying to suppress the anger building in his chest.
No one so much as turned their head when his father lost it, it didn't matter who his anger was directed at, that was just how he was and everyone was used to it.
He got up to his feet and made his way outside as Nancy and Joesph were making their way up the steps. They didn't pay any notice to him or the daughter they had left standing alone in the driveway. As he made his way towards her he briefly thought about grabbing a shovel and knocking her father over the back of the head with it.
She looked around but he knew she wasn't looking for him, she'd spotted him the second he walked out the front door.
As he got closer he looked over his shoulder before looking back to her and giving her a sharp nod. As soon as he reached her side they moved quickly across the yard and into the woods.
It only took a few weeks to work out the system.
If it was dark they would take the driveway, if it was still light out they took the hill.
There was to much chance they would get spotted on the driveway in the day, they had been caught twice doing that.
If they took the hill, like they were doing right now, they moved quickly to get out of the yard as fast as possible. They had tried strolling away casually but they had been caught out doing that to. There was no way in hell he was getting stuck in there again. Especially not tonight.
As they reached the hill he stuck his hand out and waited until he felt her hand close around his.
She was better then she was the first time she tried to make her way down, but he was still just as nervous as he had been.
He walked down the steep slope side on, looking between her feet and his. He had learned over time that if he felt her squeeze his hand it meant that she felt unsteady and that gave him time to make sure she didn't fall.
So he didn't understand why he felt her hand tighten around his now, not when her feet were planted firmly in the dirt.
"You alright" he asked looking up at her troubled expression.
"I'm fine" she mumbled still looking down at her feet and focusing on her next move. He nodded and dropped his gaze from her, glancing behind him to plan his next steps.
"Why's your neck red?" she asked quietly with her head still cast down. His eyes shot up and he paused before chewing the corner of his lip.
"Almost there" he mumbled looking back over his shoulder to the destination and steadying his feet, deciding not to answer the question. Knowing that not answering the question was more then enough to assure her that her assumptions were correct.
He didn't look back up at her, instead he kept moving until he was sure her feet were back on levelled ground, then he turned and walked over to the burnt out fire and started getting it ready to light again.
"You hungry? Still got a few hours of light, could go hunting if ya want"
"I brought something for us" she said pulling her bag of her back and dropping it by his feet.
"What happened to your neck?."
"He didn't hit me. So it's fine, right?"
She bit her lip and frowned looking at the ground.
It was harsh thing to say. But some things needed to be said, even if they were going to upset someone.
They were stuck in this life right now, but if she didn't understand right from wrong, she'd be stuck here forever. She'd spend her life justifying every horrible thing, because accepting what was happening was just to hard.