Aftermath

by FullOnMess

AH & AU / Meeting as children, Daryl & Carol do all they can to create a safe haven for each other away from their abusive parents. As time goes on it becomes clear to both of them that all they have is each other. Spanning over 20 years, this story goes through the entirety of a seemingly doomed relationship, from its harsh & violent beginnings, through to the Aftermath

6. Age 15

Age 15

Part 1

"Wake up" she demanded shaking him before her warm form was removed from his side, where it had been all night.

"Come on, wake up" she yelled moving around the tent so fast that it made the thing shake.

"Jesus Christ girl, what the fuck ya want?" he groaned still half asleep.

"World peace. A trip to Disney land….to get to school on time" she told him as she moved around the tent, tossing everything around like a mad woman.

"What time is it?" He questioned, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Seven thirty" she said hastily, as she continued to snatch things up and throwing them around the tent.

"Ya got a better chance of getting that trip to Disney land" he muttered rolling on his side, deciding that he just wanted to lay there for a few more minutes. They were gonna be late anyway.

"Seriously Daryl, get the fuck up." She demanded, making him moan in response. That was her morning voice, her 'when the sun rises, I turn into a bitch' voice, quite honestly, he was pretty fucking scared of her in the mornings, so he quickly complied with her request.

He was tired after having had a sleepless night and it didn't put him in the best mood. He huffed and leaned up on his elbows trying to squint through his sleepy eyes. Instantly, he was faced with her bare back, making his eyes grow wide instantly.

She was on her knees in tight jeans, fixing the sleeves of a shirt before grabbing her bra and slipping it on.

He crawled up behind her without thinking, taking the clasps in his fingers. She instantly stopped moving so fast and she froze in front of him.

He hooked the clasp together slowly and leaned forward to plant an open mouth kiss between her shoulder blades causing her breath to hitch, his heart to pound, and a voice in his head to ask him what the fuck are you doing?

Her head slightly turned, and he could see her downcast eyes and lower lip caught in her teeth.

He swallowed hard making himself choke trying to clear his throat.

"Better hurry up" he said rubbing his neck and grabbing his shirt, wishing he had enough time to jump into the cold lake like he did most mornings.

---

He chewed the skin from his lips as he watched her lean on the old vanity and apply a generous amount of the lip gloss, that he knew, tasted like cherries when he kissed her.

"I think we should do that biology thing tomorrow. I know it's not due for two weeks, but I think it would be good to get it out of the way".

"Yeah sure. Sounds good" he stammered out as his eyes drifted to her ass again.

Fucks sake.

"It's up to you. My dumb ass sucks at biology, so let's face it you're going to have to do all the work." she laughed to herself as she grabbed that pencil thing and skilfully ran it around her eyelids.

" Don't say that shit. You're not a dumb ass and you don't suck at biology" he said with far too much force.

He couldn't help but get defensive when she said crap like that about herself. He felt like he was arguing with some asshole who was putting her down, rather than her offering up her personal opinion about herself.

Fact was, he was sure he was battling with someone else. Her father and her mother had put this shit in her head, and he was quite happy to fight the echoes of their mean crap if he had to.

She wasn't stupid, she wasn't ugly, she wasn't worthless, and he didn't care how long it took, but he was going to reminded her of it as often as he could, so that it was his voice rattling around in her head, and not those assholes.

Her eyes drifted in the mirror looking over at him and where he sat on the edge of her mattress, waiting on her to finish getting ready.

There was something different about how she looked at him lately. Her eyes were always soft but intense and the smiles she gave him were downright cruel.

"Oh, I almost forgot" she said bouncing from her spot.

He had watched her simple make-up routine a thousand times and knew it was over, so he stood up ready to leave whenever she finished doing whatever the hell she was doing.

She grabbed her school bag and brought it with her to stand in front him.

"Take this off" she said tugging at his jacket, but in that moment, he was kind of hoping she was referring to more then just the one piece of clothing. In fact right now he was thinking it might be kinda nice to take some of her clothes of too and-….

Fucks sake.

He took a heavy breath and took his jacket of, curiously watching her as she unzipped her bag.

"This better fit or I'm gonna be pissed" she said very seriously as she reached into her stuffed bag.

"What better fit? Did ya-"

His eyes widened as she retrieved the leather jacket, shaking it out and holding it up to him with a smile.

"How did you?"

" Looks pretty fucking good am I right?" she said elatedly as she grabbed a hold of him, manoeuvring him like a manikin.

"I mean jeez, people must have some serious dough to just be able to throw stuff like this out"

He shook his head and his mouth hung open as he tried to understand what in the hell was going on.

"Carol, you didn't have to-"

" Stop! I did this for me. You look hot Dixon!"

He shook his head and felt his cheeks burn as she pulled him over to her mirror.

"It's a little bit big on you. That's so good. You'll be able to wear it for at least a few more years"

His lip curved at the sight of the jacket he wouldn't even allow himself to dream of wearing, let alone owning.

"I have thrift shop skills." she announced proudly as her tiny finger adjusted the collar.

He nodded like an absolute moron. "Yeah, you really fucking do".

She looked up at him in the reflection in the mirror, wrapping arms around his waist and settling her cheek into the side of his chest.

"We look good together, don't you think?" she asked making him drop his head to look down at her, before turning back to their reflection.

He had never thought about it before.

He had seen them together in photo's, she had enough of them framed in her room, he even had one next to his bed at home, but when he looked at the photos his sights always fixed on her and not how the two of them looked like a couple.

He never noticed how she moulded into his side perfectly, like two puzzle pieces snapping into place. How their matching blue eyes flared. How fucking content and comfortable they looked together.

He nodded at their reflection and smiled leaning down to kiss her hair.

"Yeah, we do".

---

It was getting harder and harder to keep his hands off her.

He had made plans for how things were going to go between them. But that was before everything started feeling more real and less like a dream.

It wasn't supposed to feel like this, not right now anyway. He thought this shit would kick in later, when they were older and had less crap to deal with.

He was sure it would be a hell of a lot easier to stop thinking about her like that if she wasn't constantly trying to maul him, if she didn't look so damn amazing all the fucking time and making him wanna maul her right back.

Maybe If she didn't smell so fucking good, he could think straight.

Even now while they were walking to Dwight and Paul's place all he could think about was turning her ass around and going back to her bedroom where they could be alone and then he could run his tongue down her neck and-…. Jesus, stop this shit.

"Your hands are sweating, are you sick?" she questioned looking down at their intertwined fingers.

Yeah, he was sick.

"I'm fine, just hot" he said trying not to look at her, hoping that would help.

" But it's cold out, how are you hot?"

"You're cold? Want my jacket?" he offered clutching the leather, ready to tear it off, just to change the subject.

"I'm good" she said eyeing him as they continued on down the path.

"You're acting weird" she said, scanning him, watching him with a furrowed brow.

"M'not, I'm just thinking about shit and you're annoying me with all your questions" he muttered nervously, keeping his eyes locked straight ahead.

"Why won't you look at me?" She snapped, yanking his arm.

"Jesus Carol, just quit bugging me" he snapped back, but still refusing to look at her.

Suddenly she stopped, pulling him to a halt with her and moving in front of him, forcing him to look down at her. Her fitted jacket was undone and the black top she was wearing exposed half of her stomach, and the black jeans she had on were hugging her legs and ass in all the right places. She had been driving him fucking insane since he met up with her this afternoon, even more so when she pushed him in front of that mirror.

Hell, even now with the scowl on her face she was still making his mind wonder to some pretty messed up places.

"What's up Dixon. If you're pissed just spit it out cause I don't wanna go to this damn party if your gonna be a moody bitch all night-"

Before she could continue, he launched himself forward, his mouth seeking hers out instantly. One of his hands cupped her cheek the other ran over the exposed skin of her waist and up over her ribcage. Both of her hands tangled into his hair holding him in place as though she feared at any moment he would pull away. All he could think about right now was throwing her down onto the lawn and-

"Do I need the hose?" Dwight yelled out causing him to pull his mouth from hers, both turning their heads in his direction.

"Get the fuck in the house with that shit" he said with a laugh, waving his arm at them.

He ducked his head trying to hide his smile as Carol dragged him up the driveway.

---

The sound of the party raging around them was of very little interest to them.

They had walked in a greeted everyone but didn't part ways as they usually did.

He had taken her into the kitchen to get her a drink from the fridge, thinking maybe he would be satisfied to spend some time talking with her alone. But when he turned with the drinks in his hands he and saw her leaning into the kitchen counter.

He sucked in a breath so hard that his mouth dried instantly. The smile she had on her face was downright flirtatious, her casual stance was somehow seductive, and he wondered how much more of this shit he could take before he completely lost him mind.

He all but threw the cans aside as he moved himself in front of her, reaching down to grab a hold of her thighs and lift her onto the bench. She laughed out at the movement, quickly threading her fingers into his hair again to yank his mouth roughly back to hers where it belonged.

He moved himself to stand between her legs, and those legs curved around him instantly, working just as much as her hands were to keep him right where she wanted him.

He reached up and slid her Jacket of making her laugh into his mouth, pulling away only slightly, pressing her brow into his.

"You gonna strip me down right here Dixon?"

He laughed and raised his brow.

"Hell, I'm up for it if you are" he murmured, evoking a sweet, excited laugh from her that warmly hit his lips.

He was joking of course, all he wanted to do was get the tight jacket of her, so he had access to the soft skin of her lower back.

She grinned widely at him as his hands ran up her spine and back down and his smile beamed back at her, wider than he knew he was capable of, so committed that he noticed her trying to memorise it before before she leaned into to him to continue the slow yet urgent act.

The intensity in each movement made him cling to her as though she was the only solid thing left in a world that was melting away around him. And for all he knew it was.

"You two gonna start charging people to watch this shit?"

He heard his brother ask rather loudly, but he could only respond by flipping him off, especially when he realised that Carol was refusing to relinquish her tight hold on him.

"You two better be using something, don't wanna bunch of pups running around here"

That done it.

Carol growled into his mouth before plying her lips from his.

"Damn it Merle, fuck off" she roared, grabbing the first thing she could, which just happened to be an empty beer can, throwing it hard and fast enough that Merle couldn't catch it before it collided with his forehead.

Why her frustrated outburst turned him on even more, he didn't know.

He broke into a fit of laughter watching as his brother glared at them.

"You two are assholes" Merle barked, pointing his finger at them as he left the kitchen and wandered back into the adjoining dining room.

He was still smiling widely at his brother's reaction when she took a hold of his face and guided his mouth back to hers and he followed her lead willingly.

As the night grew on, they slowed their pace. Breaking away, while keeping their brow firmly pressed together so he could see nothing but her eyes and her smile.

Her arms hung lazily over his shoulders and his hands rested on her hips where his thumbs ran back and forth over her smooth skin.

He whispered corny shit to her, shit he would usually only ever think, but right now he couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut. He told her she was gorgeous, perfect, beautiful. He told her how happy she made him; how lucky he was to have her.

And he meant every word of it.

He was planting kisses on her cheek when Dwight called out to tell Carol that Sherry was leaving, finally drawing their attention to their surroundings.

He realised he had kept her there for hours without taking his eyes off her. The party was over, leaving nothing but the usual suspects.

"I'll be right back" she said patting his shoulders. He nodded and grabbed a hold of her waist, lifting her down from the counter in one quick movement.

She smiled at him one last time before bouncing from his side.

He rubbed at his neck watching her skip out the front door, wishing he could wipe the goofy grin from his face.

What the fuck is happening?

"You hungry? Thought I'd make us all something to eat." Paul said as he passed him, patting his shoulder lightly, most likely trying to gain his attention.

"Yeah, that-uh. That sounds great" he said turning his sights to Paul who was piling food out of the fridge into his arms.

"You two are in a good mood tonight" Paul said with a smirk.

He shrugged in reply, sure that the moronic expression was still covering his face. "Yeah. Everything's……"

"Good?" Paul offered.

He nodded and tiled his head to the side. " I was gonna say weird. But yeah, it's good. Good, weird"

"I thought you two weren't…doing that" he said casually as he started making sandwiches to pile onto a plate.

Daryl creased his brow in confusion "Doin what. Uh-...no. We weren't..we aren't".

Paul smiled and raised a hand in a mock surrender. "Sorry. It just kinda looked like maybe you'd changed your minds".

He looked around nervously, assuring no one was listening. Carol and everyone else were hanging around the dining table talking loudly, and no one seemed to notice his absence.

"We're to young for that… right?" He questioned as he leaned in closer to Paul.

"I didn't think age had anything to do with why you wanted to wait". Asked, taking the hint and lowering his voice as well.

"It didn't. But honestly, it's getting harder to remember why that shit was important".

Paul laughed as he finished throwing together a large plate of sandwiches.

"I think those hormones are kicking in"

Daryl couldn't help but instantly grow concerned. "You really think that's all it is".

Paul laughed at the obvious concern plastered on Daryl's face. "No. I was just kidding. I don't think that's all it is…not completely anyway. You love her, she loves you and maybe processing that is easier now that you're a bit older and it's …. changing everything".

"She talks to you right? About this stuff" Daryl asked as Paul finished what he was doing.

He turned to face Daryl nodded. "Yeah, she does"

" Does she want to do that?"

"Honestly, she hasn't said one way or the other. I do know she doesn't understand why you wanted to wait so long in the first place".

"You might want to talk to her about that"

"I don't wanna do the wrong thing by her. Ya know. She's not just some girl. It's Carol"

"That's right, that's the attitude you need before you decide one way or the other. Forget the shit in your head, ignore the voice that tells you how hot she looks or how amazing she smells. Cause that shit is the hormones. That can't be the driving force. Anyone standing next to her could tell you that she's hot."

"Then whats the answer."

"Only you know that. You know her inside and out. I don't. Hell, no one knows her the way you do… I don't even think she's knows herself as well as you know her"

"What the hell do you mean by that".

"You know what I'm talking about Daryl. Girls like Carol, with parents like Carols…well,.. I just don't know if she knows why she does some of the things she does."

"Look Daryl, I love her, she's family. And that's why I'm happy she's with you. With someone who cares enough to put thought into to something like this. Because the way she thinks about herself, the way she see's herself…It would make for an easy target to some asshole who didn't give two shits about her and only saw a some girl they could get into the sack"

He felt as though every day they were ebbing away from the darkness that threatened to swallow them whole and now they were finally on the cusp of light. He was so close that he could reach out and touch it. He was fifteen! They had dragged each other through the last five years, he knew could skip through another two, maybe one if he could find someone to take pity on him and give him a decent paying job.

Then they were free.

This moment right here and now was a taste of something that would one day be their whole reality. He was going to have every damn thing he ever wanted, give her every fucking thing she ever dreamed of. He could do that. He could turn around one day and see everything bad that ever happened as nothing more than some fucked up nightmare they overcame and kicked in the ass.

Part 2

She hadn't been able to breathe. That was the part he'd remember most. The fear. The panic. How she had cried in in his arms so hard that her whole-body shook.

"Look at me Carol" he begged her as he wiped the main of curls back.

"It's gonna be ok. I'll be right here, ok. I promise."

And when her parents' car had pulled into his driveway, he didn't wait for them to pull her from his arms.

He took her to the car himself. He pretended like everything was going to be fine. He did it for her.

In mere minutes, everything could disappear. You could think you have nothing, but then the universe will step in and show you that you were wrong.

Things can always get worse.

And in those minutes, you will feel it, deep in your gut. You'll feel empty in a way you never imagined. You'll feel something that was so deeply rooted into your bones, being ripped from you so violently that you're sure it snaps them.

He stood in the middle of the living room still trying to slow his breathing. Trying to stop the room from spinning. His mind kept repeating the thought she's gone over and over again but it wouldn't sink in. It was like a goddamn nightmare that he just needed to wake up from.

"Wheres the damn keys" Hank growled to himself as he barged his way through the screen door.

Daryl could hardly acknowledge the man, he couldn't think about anything but the single terrifying fact,

she's gone.

"You gonna carry on like a prissy queer cause ya girlfriends left ya" His father scoffed with obvious disgust in his mocking tone.

He was desperately trying to hold back the tears, but he knew that there was no way he would win his fight against them. It hurt so much more than anything ever had before. He was sure he was going to burst into flames right here in the middle of his father's house.

"Look at ya self. Crying over some little bitch. Be a fucking man"

Bitch?

That was it. That had made the room stop spinning, made him stop breathing.

" What?" he growled, fixing his eyes on his fathers. Making Hank smirk, knowing he was getting under his skin. After all that was the game. This was what he wanted.

"Ya crying over that trashy bitch like shes the last piece of ass on earth. Snap the fuck out of it. Its fucking pathetic"

He nodded, feeling his chest rise and fall as it struggled to contain the anger building inside of him.

"Should I be like you huh? A second-rate junkie drug dealer. Fucking skanky pieces of shit that I pick up off the corner. You're the one who's a fucking pathetic little bitch."

His father's face dropped and the smarmy grin twisted into the same dark expression he had seen many times before.

"You little shit"

He knew what was coming as his father quickly approached him. He welcomed it even. He didn't move, didn't back down or struggle to apologize. He didn't care anymore what happened.

Any dreams he had of things getting better were crushed the second she left his life.

His fathers arm reached out and he felt the man's fingers twist into his hair, holding him in place while his fist connected with his cheek. Before he could register the impact, his father was using that grip on his hair as leverage to throw him to the ground.

His head hit something as he landed on the floor, and he was sure that he had cracked his skull open. But there was no time to worry about the blood pooling into his hand when his father's boot suddenly kicked him in the ribs making him choke out every breath of air, he had in him.

With in seconds, he could see the room around him getting dark. He could hear his father talking about how ungrateful he was, how unwanted he was and how he deserved a lot worse than he had gotten.

Usually, he tried to ignore the horrible things his father said to him, but right now he was wondering if those things were true. He wasn't grateful for this life, no one wanted him and maybe he did deserve all of this pain and more. Why else would this be happening.

---

He sat on the old sofa with his elbows leaning into his knees and his gaze focused on his blood-stained hands.

The only thing he could hear in the house was his own pulse thumping in his ears. He didn't care about the blood that was flowing from his head onto his brow, the pain expanding over his cheek, the ache running over his right side. All he could do was look at his hands and how they shook.

She told him she loved him. She promised she'd come back. That was all he had in the whole world now. Just the memory of a promise.

It was dark enough in the living room that when his brother came walking in, he barely noticed him sitting there alone. Merle still had some clothes and things stashed in his room and often came back to grab a few of them and leave others behind. But only when he knew he would be able to complete the task alone.

As Merle walked in, he heard him mutter to himself about what a dump this place was before he looked around and finally saw him. But he didn't bother lifting his head to look at his big brother.

"That dickhead gone?" Merle asked as he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer.

He didn't answer or show any him any sign that he was listening. Merle stood by examining him for a moment longer before he suddenly pulled the curtain back and filled the small space with light.

He heard Merle mumble something under his breath as he walked over to him and roughly grabbed a hold of his chin, lifting his head so that he could see him. But he refused to look his big brother in the eye.

"Fucking asshole" Merle growled through his teeth before letting his chin go so he could drop his gaze back to his hands.

"You cant stay here for a few days. Old prick must be off his head to do a number on you like that" Merle said gruffly, standing over him.

He wanted to laugh. This was nothing. This didn't worry him one damn bit.

No one had beaten the shit out of him with a belt and or taken a knife to his skin, so who fuckin cares about a few punches and kicks. He couldn't even blame him for the cut on his head, that was more the mess on the floors fault as far as he was concerned. It was just unlucky that when Hank tossed him to the ground that he hit something. But bad luck seemed to be the theme of his life, so what else could he really expect.

"I'm fine" he choked out through his dry and heavy breaths, hoping Merle would just leave him be.

"You ain't fine. Get ya shit and I'll take you to Carols"

The mention of her name made him want to slam his face into the wall, it made his chest heave and his eyes snap shut.

"Can't" he said firmly, barely gripping onto what was left of his sanity.

"Course ya can." He quickly added putting his beer down on the coffee table amongst the scattered empty bottles.

"You two haven a little lovers quarrel? Ya know she wont give a shit about nothing when she gets a look at ya" Merle rambled as he started to walk away and head towards his room.

He wanted to ignore his brother, but his description of Carol tore that shred of sanity he had been clinging to.

He wished it was as simple as some dumb-ass fight that he could apologize for. Of course, she would excuse any argument, it wouldn't matter what he had done. If she could see him now, she would forgive him any anything and pull him into the safety of her arms and he would be ok. He would feel loved and wanted. Instead of feeling like this.

"No. I Can't!" He roared making Merle freeze.

"She's gone!" He added coldly when his bother looked at him with his mouth agape, stunned by the outburst.

He never yelled, always stayed quiet and the absence of that trait was not lost on his big brother.

"What the hell are you talking about. When she coming back?"

Merle's brow knitted together as he took in the new information and quickly made his way back to his side. He flinched as his brother put his hand on his shoulder, making his teeth flare and his fists clench at the unwanted touch. He instantly moved away and jumped to his feet. He found himself taking two solid steps back in reaction to the invasion of his personal space, no one was allowed that close to him, no one but her. He hadn't realised that until just now and it made him feel even more alone than he had minutes before.

"Don't you get it. She's gone. They left. Its over!"

His piercing and broken voice was deafening and he could feel his eyes stinging with tears. Merle reached out to his shoulder again but he quickly stepped back, swatting his brother away again, telling him not to touch him.

He yelled as his hand reached up to clutch tightly at his own chest, digging his nails into his own flesh through his sweat-soaked shirt. "That's all I had" he screamed, as the reality of it really began to sink in.

"Now it's gone! And I'm stuck here in this shit hole!"

Before his cries finished, he swung his foot out to the coffee table, kicking it over and listening to the sound of the bottles crash to the floor, making him freeze in place.

He looked at what he had done, and it broke something inside of him. The outburst wasn't like him, this feeling boiling in him, wasn't like him. He didn't recognise this feeling or the sound of his own voice.

Carol had told him before that she was worried about how he was acting, how she noticed him changing. Getting cold. He hadn't thought to much about it until now, until he done something his father would have done.

"Just get ya crap and go Merle"

His big brother remained unmoving at the command and as he looked over he could see Merle was upset for him, maybe even a afraid for him. Or of him, he couldn't really tell and he didn't really care.

But he found that he didn't care. It didn't matter. Merle was no use to him. His brother been out of his life for years, they may as well have been living on different planets.

He tightened his jaw and stormed passed Merle into his room. He reached behind the door and grabbed Merle's duffle bag and threw it to his brothers' feet.

"There. Ya got what ya came for. Now fuck off" He snapped viciously before he slammed his door closed.

His hands instantly covered his face as he yelled 'Fuck' into his palms, before dragging those hands into his hair, gripping it tightly and pulling at the locks, making more blood drip down his brow.

He looked around at his surroundings, sure that he could already feel the walls closing in on him.

The room was small, nothing much in it but a mattress on the floor and a mess of scattered belongings. He was heading to the bed, ready to collapse, when the blue knitted scarf caught his eyes.

The mess in the room had been there so long that all the pieces molded together. It was like looking at a painting, one he saw every day, but never took the time to examine the details.

He couldn't go back to the tent. It would be a hundred times worse than this. He didn't want to be anywhere near that lake again. She may as well have taken it with her.

He grabbed an empty garbage bag from his drawer and forced himself to look around to take in the details of the mess. Their mess.

When he looked close enough, she was everywhere and he couldn't have that. It was going to fuck his head up and he didn't have the energy to go on like this. It had only been hours and it had already drained him.

He reached down and grabbed the blue scarf, then her jeans, her blouse, her pale pink socks. It didn't end. His breathing only grew heavier, and he found himself glaring as he felt the tears fall freely onto his cheeks. Angry with himself. Knowing his father was right, he was weak.

What the hell am I supposed to do now Carol? He thought as he snatched up another one of her shirts and stuffed it into the bag.

Part 3: Merle

Carol had been gone less then two months and his little brother had been slipping more and more each day.

He wasn't stupid enough to think this was only about Carol. He knew the kid was well overdue for a breakdown. He's had the shit beaten out of him since he was five years old, called every name under the sun, been neglected and abandoned by his own mother.

Now the only person in the world who he ever allowed to comfort him was gone. That one person who had the power to make him fell cared for was gone.

He didn't tell his little brother, but he had spent weeks trying to track them down. He was sure that he would be able to find them eventually, but as time went by he started to realize that Carol's father didn't want to be found.

What he did find out was that the moron had skipped town without paying his debts and now there were a lot of angry dealers looking for him.

For the first month he tried repeatedly to talk to Daryl, but every time he even got close to the boy he would leave. He wouldn't even look at him.

No matter where he was now, his little brother was always on his mind. He hadn't seen him in a week and when he did see him, it was only for a few minutes before he watched him stalk off into the woods, just to get away from him. That was the closest he had been to him in almost six weeks.

The memory ran through his head as Dwight talked shit to him. The party he was at was loud and he didn't know what the fuck Dwight was even saying to him, but he nodded along anyway.

"Dixon!"

He turned his head at the sound of his last name being called across the crowded room. Samantha was pushing past people to get to him, and he wondered if the women had lost her mind.

He had once tried to take her on a proper date, but it had failed miserably, after that they screwed around a few times before she broke it off, but she never let anyone know about the meet ups and she definitely never talked to him in public anymore.

Now she had a boyfriend so he was unsure why she was working her way through the crowd to get to him. He sipped his beer and watched her curiously as she fought to get to his side.

" Can we talk?" the blonde asked cautiously, he looked around the room and spotted her boyfriend, who gave him a nod before looking back to his group of friends. The gesture was a silent form of consent, but he didn't know why the hell he had been given it. Her man had never been too happy to see him at parties, let alone talking to his women.

"Thought we were done talking" He said looking away from her, scanning the room for the girl he had been eye fucking all night and knocking around with for the past few weeks.

"Outside" she said firmly, grabbing a hold of his wrist and dragging him to the porch.

Once they were away from the thick crowd and loud music she stopped and released her hold on him.

"I ain't into threesomes. Not with other men anyway. So you best-"

She growled and Merle could help himself but laugh.

"God Merle, do I have to smack you again?"

Merle chuckled again and pulled his smokes from his pocket.

"Well, spit it out then" he said putting the cigarette in his mouth and pulled out his lighter.

"Do you know Daryl hasn't been to school in almost two weeks?" she asked looking up at him.

He paused and leaving the smoke dangling in between his fingers. "What?"

"Tiffany told me"

He dropped his sights down, taking in the information. He knew his little brother would never admit it, but he liked school, always had. It was the type of thing he would have usually mocked the kid for. But he had decided a long time ago, not to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.

The kid was sharp as a tact. He had hopes for Daryl, he didn't know how to encourage the kid but he sure knew how to shut his mouth so he didn't discourage the him from something that could help him have a half decent life.

"He doesn't look good Merle." Samantha added softly as she folded her arms around her stomach.

"Mark said he saw him wondering the streets the other night a 2am. Said he looked…unsteady."

" Unsteady?" he questioned, not knowing what the fuck that was supposed to mean. She shrugged, obviously not understanding her brother's description either.

"If he keeps going like this Merle-" She stopped herself from finishing the sentence and locked her eyes with his, shaking her head rather than reveal her fears for the kid.

"I gotta go" he said, receiving a firm nod from Samantha before he briskly made his way down the porch steps.

---

It was just after one in the morning and he still had a few hours left before he had to go a do a job, so he figured there was no better time then now to talk to the kid. Well..more like no better time to ambush the kid, knowing he'd be able to back him into a corner that he couldn't escape from.

He assumed Daryl would be asleep and planned on jumping in the kid's window to avoid their old man, but when he arrived at the house, he noticed that Hank's truck was gone, and the front door was wide open.

When he walked into Daryl's room, he found the boy sitting on his mattress, fidgeting with a pocketknife.

"Where is he" Merle asked when Daryl refused to acknowledge his entrance.

" Out. Be back in the morning." He mumbled.

"How do you know" he questioned, wondering how the kid was so sure, especially when Hank was known for going on benders for days, even weeks at a time.

" Cause whores charge by the hour and that prick is broke" Daryl quipped with a brittle voice.

The smart-ass remark would have made him laugh if it had come from anyone else, but it sounded rough coming from his baby bother. Not that their father didn't deserve any insult Daryl had to throw him, it just wasn't like him to make them. Daryl rarely said anything bad about anyone, even when he disliked them. Even if they deserved it.

He had seen Daryl punch kids in the face without actually saying any harsh words beforehand. The kid had always known that actions spoke louder than words, but those ideals were slipping and everything was pouring out.

"Sam said you haven't been going to school." Merle asked as he leaned into the dresser.

" Sam?" Daryl asked, furrowing his brow.

" Tiffany's sister. You know Tiffany, right?"

He let out a dark humorless laugh that was unsettling to hear.

" Yeah. I know her. Sits two seats down from me. Blonde. Brown eyes. Wears red a lot" Daryl choked out with hooded eyes that focused on his knife as he placed it down on the dresser. As if he couldn't keep holding it while he spoke about the girl.

His brow knitted at the description and the way Daryl looked like he was ready to break down after saying it.

"You gotta go to school Daryl" he stressed, watching as the kid's hands fidgeted constantly at his side.

" That's were your wrong Merle. I don't have to do shit anymore. If I just run off when social workers start knockin on the door, I'll be fine. They'll give up in a few months and leave me the fuck alone." He objected in a flat voice showing his apathetic state.

" This ain't about that-" he urged, before Daryl cut him off.

"It is for me. That's all I want. To be left the fuck alone" he whispered in a horribly flat tone, void of any emotion.

"Will you just talk to me. Tell me what's going on with you. You look like shit."

He was serious, the kid looked bad, even without the bruises and marks he would look bad. He was skinny, pale and drained of life. He had never seen him like this, and it made him feel like he was completely out of his depths to handle whatever was going on with him.

"No. Just fuck off so I can go to sleep" he said waving his arm to the door lazily.

He stood there watching Daryl as he grabbed his knife and crawled onto the mattress. Stuffing the blade under his pillow and turning on his side to face the wall.

He realized right then that he missed his little brother. He didn't know this kid.

He blamed himself for not trying harder to protect him. He himself was only seventeen, but he was still the big brother, and he should have tried harder. It was easy to be selfish when Carol was here. He hated to acknowledge the fact, but he had no problem with unloading Daryl onto her. He didn't even have to think about the kid when she was here.

He was still living at home when she first came rolling into town. Still getting the shit beaten out of him and sending his little brother off to live alone in the middle of the woods like some fucking animal. Just trying to put as much distance between Hank and Daryl as possible.

But when she arrived, he didn't have to worry about him being alone and scared. He'd never admit it, but it made it easier for him to leave that house. He owed her but would never get to repay that debt.

He snatched up the blanket of the floor and laid it over him, getting no response from Daryl when he said goodnight.

---

He arrived the next evening with a bag on his back. He had used some of the money he earned to buy the kid some food. He brought shit that he could leave in Daryl's room, there was no way he was buying anything that needed to go in the fridge so that their prick of a father could have at it.

He decided he would just keep forcing himself on his little brother until the kid talked to him.

This wasn't going to be it for the Daryl.

He wasn't going to stand by and watch him turn into a little monster without at least putting up a fight.

When he looked around and saw his father's truck was in the driveway and it made every muscle in his body tighten, preparing for a fight, before he had even set eyes on the man.

He was lucky enough that he only saw his Hank a few times a month and it was never intentional.

As he approached the house he could hear the voice of the man who had been assigned as his father, but he couldn't make out what he was moaning about. Though it didn't matter. Just the muffled sound alone made his jaw clench.

He wanted to leave, every instinct told him to run, but he ignored those thoughts and remembered he wasn't here to see that piece of shit.

He took a heavy breath and opened the front door, the first thing he saw was Hank standing at the kitchen bench leaning forward to inspect the pill that he was crushing up.

"Well look what the cat dragged in" Hank said looking him up and down. Merle was surprised to see that his Hank almost looked happy to see him. He would have taken it to heart if the man hadn't ducked his head down to snort a line only seconds later.

He shook his head and looked around the house that got worse each time he returned. He was ready to ask where is brother was until he saw him sitting on the sofa, his eyes fixed on the TV.

He couldn't even be hurt that Daryl was still ignoring him, not when he took in the fresh bruise on the side of his face and dried blood that was smeared on the skin beneath his nose, over his cheek and down his chin.

He stood staring at his little brother, feeling everything inside of him burn with anger. The kid looked like he had been knocked in the head with a baseball bat and to make matters worse he was holding a beer in one hand and lit cigarette in the other.

He realized right then that he was gonna loose him. One way or another.

His plan on simply visiting the boy had quickly changed.

He had to get him out of here. He wanted to do that without Hank laying another hand on him. His mind was fixed on that. He wasn't known for keeping his cool, but he had to at least try. If a fight broke out between him and Hank, he would loose and then Daryl would have to deal with the consequences of that alone.

"You alright?" he asked, obvious concern flooding his words as he tilted his head to get a better view of Daryl's injuries from where he stood.

" He'll be fine when he learns to shut his mouth" Hank chimed in with far too much humor in his tone.

"Fuck you" Daryl called out loudly keeping his sights on the TV.

He expected his father to get angry, but he didn't, instead he released a chuckle and ducked his head again.

He stood stunned, taking in a deep breath. He knew then that his father was most likely happy with how Daryl was quickly changing. He would see this as him turning into a man, that he was getting tougher.

But he knew better. Daryl had always been strong, this wasn't strength he could see on his brothers face. It was defeat.

He walked over to the kid and reached his hand out.

"Give me the beer" he asked firmly, finally greeted with his little brothers gaze. Daryl's eyes grew dark as he looked up at him, anger etched across his features that was just begging to be released.

"Pfft Get your own"

"There's beer in the fridge Merle" his father added, oblivious to the real problem.

" Daryl" he said in a low shudder, watching his brother roll his eyes as he stood up.

" Fuckin take it" he growled, shoving the almost empty beer into his chest.

He watched as his little brother stalked passed him and made his way over to the fridge, taking the last drag from his smoke, before tossing the butt into an empty bottle and retrieving another drink.

He closed the fridge and leaned into its door, cracking his beer and sculling half of it away in one fast swig.

His brother had usually shied away from Hank, but now he watched them both standing alongside each other.

He couldn't remember ever having seen him do it before, he was sure it had happened, but it had been so long that he couldn't place a memory of it.

Daryl was still so small, especially in comparison to his father and that only added to his anxiety, only made him more fearful. Only made him want to knock the pricks head in even more then he did.

Daryl looked around the room lazily, his eye catching the task Hank was focused on.

"What's that?" Daryl asked his father, running his lower lip through his teeth.

" Daryl come for a ride with me. Dwight and everyone have been asking about ya. Never see ya anymore" He asked Daryl quickly, before his father had a chance to answer the question.

He could see Daryl's face harden as he looked over at him, he knew then there was no chance of getting him out of that house without a fight.

"He's not going anywhere" Hank said harshly making Daryl's agitated gaze shift to to their father.

"Why?" he spat out viciously at Hank, as he pushed himself of his lean on the fridge.

"Ya not leaving this house until ya learn some damn respect. Acting like a psychopath since that trash skipped town" His father announced as he looked down at Daryl.

He could feel the tension in the air immediately but there was no time to diffuse the situation, Daryl didn't let a second pass before he reacted.

The bottle that Daryl had been holding was suddenly thrown from his hand, flying past Hanks head and crashing into the wall behind him.

"Fuck you ya piece of shit. Shut your god damn mouth" Daryl yelled taking two steps towards his father, fearlessly holding Hanks angry gaze, even when their father advanced on him.

Hank didn't say a word, just reached out with his hands and took a hold of Daryl's throat and slammed him into the fridge so hard that it made it rock back from the impact.

The sight instantly made the rage he had been feeling since he arrived burst through the seams. He didn't think. Just acted.

He grabbed a chair and lifted it up, swinging it down in full force on to Hanks back. His hands instantly let go of Daryl, so he could use them to try to shield himself as he dropped to the ground. He quickly gave him two hard kicks to the back of his head, knocking unconscious.

He looked over to see Daryl on the floor clutching his neck and choking in air, struggling to get his breath back.

He knew they didn't have much time. The prick had a hard head, just like he did. It was only a matter of minutes before he woke up.

He stepped over his father and reached down grabbing a hold of his brother, lifting him off the ground. Daryl was too busy trying to get the air back into his lungs to even acknowledge him, still holding his throat like he was trying to keep it from falling apart.

He moved him over to the armchair and sat him back into it, before he moved quickly into his baby brothers bedroom.

He grabbed his school bag and swung it over his shoulder before opening his closet. There were two garbage bags stuffed in there and for a moment he thought the boy had the good sense to have his shit packed and ready to go when the time came. But when he looked in them all he saw were girls clothes, Carol's clothes. He shook his head and put the bags back.

He opened the drawers to see all his clothes had been stuffed into them. Nothing was folded or clean, but he had put them all away as if he was more then settled with his situation.

He started grabbing the clothes and stuffing them into his brother's empty duffle bag. He didn't know what he was going to do with the kid, he didn't have a roof to put over his head, didn't know where he was going to be from day to day himself. But he would sooner leave the kid in a ditch before he left him here another minute.

"Come on"He said far more harshly than he had intended.

Daryl looked up at him and looked at the bags he was holding, before shaking his head firmly.

"Ain't up for discussion. Now get up"

He didn't like the tone of his own voice, but the comforting sweet talking shit had done fuck all to get the kids attention. Seemed like the only thing the boy responded to lately was being treated like a damn dog. When Daryl continued to glare at him he let out a frustrated growl and reached down to grab the kids arm. He was surprised when the boy didn't flinch or pull away as he dragged him from the house. He obviously didn't want to stay there, so it made no sense that he couldn't just come with him without being hauled out.

---

They pulled up outside of Jessie's house and Daryl still refused to move without out being yanked around by his arm. But he didn't have time to figure out why.

The house was full of scary looking mother fuckers as usual. It was no place for a kid. But he had no other options. There were bags of pills, coke and speed. Guns on the table and blood on the fucking walls. It was a nightmare.

He dragged Daryl past the crowded living room and into the kitchen, finding Jessie talking with another man. The man he called his uncle looked at them as they approached and gave the man a pat on the arm, telling him he needed minute alone. With in seconds the kitchen was vacated leaving the three of them talk in private.

"You alright?" he asked with wide eyes, taking in the state of his nephew.

"We need to stay here for awhile"

He wasn't asking, he was telling him. This was there only choice and Jessie would know that without needing to be told.

"Merle it ain't safe for him" he said glancing down at his little brother. Daryl may have only been a few years younger, but he was still only half his size and Merle knew how fucked up it was bringing him to a place where you needed to be armed to be safe.

"Just need somewhere to sleep. I wont leave him here alone. We'll stay in the basement, ya wont even know where here"

Jessie looked at his nephew and shook his head to himself, turning around to open the freezer. When he returned, he had an old bag of frozen peas in his hand. He leaned down and pressed the bag to Daryl's battered face, making the boy hiss and cringe. Jessie didn't question the sounds or ask who had banged the kid up. He may have been a doped up vicious drug dealer, but he wasn't a complete moron.

He took Daryl's hand and placed it on the bag, "Hold that there".

For some reason, Daryl had no problem following Jessie's instructions, he just nodded and kept his focus on the ground as he had done since they walked in.

Jessie stood up and moved in close to him, lining his eyes with his.

"You can't leave him here alone. You hear me? You know what goes on here, what's happened here." Jessie said keeping his voice low but firm.

He nodded in response, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"He'll be at school through the days, and I'll be with him at night. He wont be here alone, I swear. Just need sometime to figure something else out, then we will be gone"

He watched as Jessie glanced down at Daryl one last time before tilting his head towards the hallway."Go on then."

He still had a hold on Daryl's arm and began guiding him towards the hallway where the basement door was when he heard Jessie call out.

" You can't send him to school looking like that Merle" Jessie said as he walked out of the kitchen, making his steps falter for a moment before he continued on, realising what Jessie said was true.

Shit!

---

The basement wasn't much, but it had everything they needed. It was still decked out from when Jessie's last girlfriend had lived down here, before she couldn't take this shit anymore and left.

There was a bar fridge, sofa, bed, a bathroom and even a small TV. But most importantly, it had a lock on the door.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs he let go of Daryl's arm and watched as the kid stumbled over to the sofa. He had been knocked around twice already today and he had no idea how many beers he'd had, so he wasn't sure what was causing the staggering steps.

"What the fuck am I gonna do then?" Daryl asked breaking the silence. He thought about the question while he soaked a towel with warm water.

"So fucking stupid" the kid muttered to himself from the sofa. He sat himself down in front of Daryl on the coffee table, getting a good look at just how much damage had been done.

"What the hell are you muttering about?"he asked as he noticed that the kids eyes were hazy and unfocused.

"Tomorrow when ya-" Daryl added as he raised his fingers to make quotation marks "working"

Daryl knew he hated when people did that shit, but the kid had a good fucking point.

"I'll figure something out"

It was Thursday, with any luck the kid wouldn't look like complete shit by Monday, and he could make him go back to school. But until then he needed to come up with a plan. Problem was everyone they knew were in similar fucked up situations, weren't exactly surrounded by babysitter types. Not that the kid needed looking after, just need a safe place to hang out for a few hours.

" What about the lake, you could go down there and do some fishing and-" before he could finish, he noticed his brother's dark glare.

He let out a heavy sigh as he reached forward to wipe the blood that had been on his bothers face since he first saw him today.

It was quickly removed, and he dropped his hand back down to his lap, watching the kid closely, seeing how uncomfortable Daryl was from that one simple action.

" You even been down there since-"

"Don't" Daryl snapped before he could continue.

" Don't what" he asked knitting his brow together.

"Don't say her name. Don't talk about her. Just fucking don't" Daryl said in a rough and demanding tone, clutching the bag of peas tighter to his cheek.

"Like she never existed ay?" he questioned, trying to choke back the irritation he felt at the thought of pretending the girl had never been there.

Daryl didn't answer him, just continued to look at him as though he was seconds from throwing a punch.

"Tell me this then little brother. Just how fucking lit are you right now?"

"You drank when you were my age. Been getting drunk since you was 12"

Merle shook his head. "That's different"

"Why?"

" Cause I was at parties. I was throwing them back with friends. I wasn't at that dump being that prick drinking buddy. I was trying to have a good time and your just trying to fucking kill ya self" He said with a low rasping tone, watching as Daryl's jaw tightened and his eyes dropped down, looking at the towel that was smeared with his blood.

"Few beers gonna kill me hey?" he sneered, grating the words through his teeth.

"Anything you do that impairs ya thinking around that asshole is a fuckin death wish and you know it Daryl"

His little brother collapsed back into the sofa, refusing to look at him.

"Gotta be there, might as well be fucked up too" he muttered in response. But he couldn't help but shake his head at the kids words.

"That's the thing though Daryl. You could have moved the tent"

"What?"

"I get ya not wanting to be down at the lake. Especially if don't wanna think about her. But you could have put that tent somewhere else"

"Shut up Merle" he roared as his eyes instantly started glistening with tears.

Apart of him wanted to shut up, he was pushing the boy, but he needed to know what the hell he was thinking.

"That's the fucking scariest thing about this Daryl. You wanna be there with him"

Before he could finish Daryl stood up and stormed off into the bathroom, stumbling twice as he made his way in before slamming the door behind him, though watching how the door flung open again he realized the door knob must be stuck or busted.

Kid's fucking hammered

He could hear Daryl knocking shit over in the bathroom before the sound of water running took over. He shook his head to himself and got up to grab their bags, he looked through Daryl's things and pulled out a shirt and pair of pants.

There was a chair outside the bathroom door, he walked over, planning to leave them there, but as got close he saw his brother start to lift his shirt over his head.

"That piece of shit" he spat out. His loud voice making Daryl jump and turn to face him with wide eyes.

He walked into the small space and turned his brother back around, ignoring him when he attempted to push him away. The bruises were everywhere they were fresh. But the scars, the thick scars that bulged from his skin weren't.

Some of them were obviously years old, scattered over him like a cracks in glass.

His hand barely touched the biggest scar that was running down the center of his back when Daryl spun around and shoved him away.

"Get the fuck away from me"

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't speak. He couldn't stop looking at the scars that also covered his chest. He couldn't do anything but think about the fact that he was going to murder the bastard.

"Lock the damn door when I leave" he said as he turned and headed towards the stairs.

"Ya gonna kill him?"

The question was spoken in a mocking tone, followed by his dark humorless laugh.

He stopped and looked back at the boy who was gripping the sink to hold himself up, his head hanging down as he continued on with a rough tone that made pause.

"Go on then, fucking do it. He'll be dead. You'll be in prison. And I'll be rid of the both of ya. Get some fucking peace for once."

He knew without any doubt that he had never been so angry in whole life. The word anger took on a whole new meaning for him, as if he had never even known what the word really meant until now. Like those marks on the boys body had translated it for him and now he could understand why the word existed.

But the challenge in his drunk little brothers words was clear and hidden behind that challenge was a suffocating pain that was begging to be acknowledged.

He looked at his own position on the steps and shook his head to himself. He had just promised Jessie that he wouldn't leave the kid here alone, now he was leaving. Ready to dump the kid in another place where he was not safe. Not only that, he was just gonna walk out on the kid when he was sure that is exactly what Daryl had been waiting for. It was why the he didn't trust him to begin with.

He watched him sit on the sofa and took in just how alone the kid looked, even with him beside him. He never looked like that with Carol The kid had never had that. He was an afterthought to everyone, he hated to admit it but he had even been one to him. He was to busy just trying to get by to worry about Daryl. But he had never been that to Carol. He had no doubt that Daryl had been Carol's last thought when she went to sleep and her first when she woke in the morning.

The problem was that all Daryl had ever known was pain, that was the constant in his life. He had been given a few mere years with someone who cared for him and when that was taken away he feared Daryl saw it as a punishment rather then shitty luck. As if the universe had provided Carol just to hurt him by taking her away. As if he had been undeserving of her affection, but deserving of the pain he felt when she was gone.

The next morning, he pulled his bike into the Rovia's driveway, watching as Dwight crawled out from under the truck he had been working on. Daryl hopped off and stood looking around nervously like someone was going to jump out and grab him at any moment.

"Just take me home. Hank's only gonna get more pissed off the longer I'm gone, especially after the shit you pulled yesterday."

"He'll get over it. Just stay out of dodge for a few weeks and he'll forget you even exist"

Daryl instantly scowled at the remark but he wasn't sure what he had said that turned that anxious expression into resentment so damn fast.

"Your early. Thought we weren't leaving till ten" Dwight asked as he approached, wiping his hands with a rag.

"Paul around?" Merle asked, craning his next to see through the front door.

"Nah, havn see him in days. Think him and Arron skipped town again"Dwight said casually as he leaned over the engine of his truck again.

"Shit" Merle growled. 'What about your old man?"

Dwight shrugged. "Don't know where he is or when he'll be back" Dwight said looking at Daryl curiously, most likely wondering what he was doing there and why he looked like shit.

"Hired some movies last night Daryl. Why don't ya go in there and watch some TV?"

Daryl didn't respond, just shoved his hands into his pockets and wandered off inside.

Dwight watched him closely until he disappeared out of sight.

"Hank do that?" he asked looking back over at him with distasteful look on his face.

Merle tightened his jaw, stiffly nodding.

"Boy barely breaks a hundred with a full stomach and bricks in his pockets. What's the fucker thinking?" Dwight asked as her looked back to the truck he was working on.

"I need you to watch him" he said firmly, ignoring the question that he didn't have the faintest idea of how to respond to.

"What are you talking about? We got that job to do today, we gotta-"

"I'll do it." Merle interrupted.

Dwight wiped his hands with the rag again, even though Merle knew it was unnecessary. It was more because he needed a moment to think before he spoke again.

" I know you're in a bind, but I need the money Merle". Dwight told him sincerely.

"You'll still get ya cut. Just keep an eye on him for me. Don't let him outta ya sight".

Dwight's brow creased as he looked back, seeing Daryl on the sofa through the screen door. "Why? Wheres he gonna go?"

"He wants to go home. Been looking to go back there since I pulled his arse outta there"

Dwight looked back to him with concern. But Merle knew, because he knew Dwight, that any more questions that Dwight had right now, would be left unsaid.

" Alright. If that's what ya want."

"Ya want something to eat?" Dwight asked as he walked into the house, heading for the kitchen.

He didn't answer. What he wanted was to go home before things got any worse.

Minutes later Dwight returned holding a sandwich out in front of him.

He took it from him and leaned back into the sofa, trying to forget the last time he had hung out here and who he had been with.

"Not interested in the movies? I can get that old Captain America movie you like"

"No" he said far to quickly, making Dwight eye him cautiously for a long moment before he nodded to himself.

"Wanna give me a hand working on the Truck then?" Dwight asked casually not caring when he got nothing but a shrug in return.

"C'mon. I'll show ya a few things. You'll like it" Dwight said giving him a light shove and a warm smile before getting up and heading towards the door.

He let out a rough breath and followed him outside. What else did he have to do.

Hours later and he was still leaning his body over the edge of the car watching Dwight's hands move carefully, trying to take in the information he was given. He felt more relaxed then he had in weeks until Dwight asked him the only thing he didn't want to talk about.

"You heard from her?" Dwight asked as he searched through his rusted toolbox.

He ignored the question like it hadn't been asked and pointed out another thing under hood.

"What's that?"

"That's the Alternator. Ya know you can just say ya don't wanna talk about it"

"I don't wanna talk about it" he said firmly in a flat tone, keeping his eyes focused down on the truck's engine.

"Fair enough. It keeps the engine running and recharges battery".

They had been at it for hours and he enjoyed the distraction. As long as Dwight didn't bring her up again, he was sure he could continue on without having to think about her at all.

Dwight continued to point things out and explain things while he worked. Telling him what different parts were and what they were for, what he was doing and why.

He would have been happy to sit there all night but he knew that his time there would soon be over when he heard his brothers bike roaring down the street.

He didn't turn his head when Merle pulled into the driveway and he was sure Dwight had noticed when he handed him the spanner.

"Turn the the crankshaft two full turns clockwise"

He nodded and took the tool, only half sure he knew what Dwight was talking about.

He did what Dwight asked while glancing at the out the corner of his eye, wishing he didn't have to go back to the crack den. Wishing he didn't have to go anywhere with Merle.

---

"He try'n run?" Merle asked as he approached Dwight in the yard.

" No. He's been good, just helping me out with the truck".

"He say anything?" Merle questioned.

"No. didn't think it was possible for that kid to be anymore quiet then he already was. He asked questions about the truck, but that's it."

"Should go inside and finish this. I wanna get back to Jessie's before all the real lunatics turn up."

"Your staying at Jessie's with him" Dwight repeated, looking at him like he was completely brain dead. "Shit Merle" he added with a an uneasy tone.

"You got a better idea?" He asked with a humourless laugh, feeling pretty damn clueless on what else he could possibly do with the kid.

" There's a fucking alleyway downtown you could stay in. Lot fucking safer than taking a kid to a damn gang house" he spat out, waving his arm and showing his genuine concern.

"Won't be for long. I just need to get some money together and I can sought something else out"

"What about Sunday?" he questioned reigning in his distress and addressing the upcoming job.

Merle raised an eyebrow at him, and tiled his head to the side with a smile, silently asking him for his help once more.

"Fine. But you gotta figure something else out man. You shouldn't be doing these jobs on ya own"

He laid on the bed flipping through the Auto repair book that Dwight had given him while Merle paced back and forth talking on his phone.

It was hard to tell what his brother was talking about, though he knew it was some shady shit.

When voices were raised upstairs, he watched as Merle paused and looked up, listening to the fighting and something being smashed before it got quiet again. Merle closed his eyes and shook his head before continuing to wear out the carpet with his repeated six steps, back and forth.

When Merle finally hung up the phone, he looked over at him briefly before dialling another number and gnawing at his thumbnail, just as Daryl himself did all the time. He knew what the action meant. He was nervous and it was Daryl that was making Merle nervous.He knew it wouldn't be long before Merle saw this for the shit show it was and dumped him back with their father, he just wondered how long it would take the dumb-ass to realize it and leave him behind again.

---

His brother had pulled him along into Dwight's house where the usual gathering of misfits and young criminals was taking place.

He had been showing up to these parties since he was six, but this was the first time he felt out of place. He knew every almost every sad soul in the house, but he felt uncomfortable and awkward every time one of them tried to talk to him.

He was grateful when Paul finally offered his bedroom to him to go and hide in, until the next day. He had spent many nights in Paul's room, usually with Carol, they always wandered off before the party was over and spent a few hours alone talking.

He didn't know why the room didn't have the same impact that the lake had on him. He couldn't bring himself to go down there, but he could walk into Paul's room with ease. He guessed because maybe this room had never been there's, it was nothing more than a place to sleep and he had been sleeping in there long before Carol ever came to town.

He sat on the bed flipping through Paul's collection on magazines, mostly issues of Rolling stone or anything else to do with the bands that Paul decided were worthy of his attention.

He expected to be left alone, just as he always had been when he and Carol locked themselves away in the messy room, until the bedroom door swung open and made him freeze in place on the mattress.

He sat there watching the blonde picking at her shirt, trying to ply the soaked fabric from her skin while muttering out a string of cusses that seemed more appropriate to be coming out of a trucker's mouth, rather than the done-up girl who was way over dressed to be in this shit hole.

She began rolling the hem of the shirt up over her stomach when he cleared his throat, making her jump and turn in his direction. She looked at him as though she was impressed but he didn't have a damn clue why.

" You must be the only gentleman at this party, that why they lock you in here?" She asked with a laugh.

He shrugged and tossed the magazine off to the side of the bed with the rest. " I'll wait in the hall till ya done".

He tried not to sound annoyed as he lifted himself off the bed, but his effort was pointless. He barely had his feet on the floor when the blonde reached out and shoved him roughly back onto the bed.

"Your fine, stay there." she laughed, not noticing him glaring at her as she made her way over to Paul's closet.

She rummaged through the clothes, and he wondered how much longer she would take. Her disapproving grunts over the items she was examining were annoying him and he didn't exactly feel comfortable with her in the small room.

"Paul own anything that isn't a band shirt" she muttered as she continued her search. He considered the question and tried to remember if he had ever seen Paul in anything but those.

"Fuck it" She announced, leading him to believe she must have given up, until she turned around holding up a shirt in each hand.

"Which one?" she asked with her eyes locked on his, making his brow crease and his frustration grow.

"Ya know where ya are? Go out there in a sack if ya want, no one's gonna give a shit" he almost growled at her. She instantly laughed at him, agreeing with a firm nod.

"Your probably right. But I'm trying to impress someone here and I don't know shit about music so which one is going to make me look like I do?"

He let out a sigh and shook his head to himself.

"Just wear the Nirvana T-shirt. No one's gonna say shit about that" he grumbled, hoping the decision was enough to make this interaction end as fast as possible.

She quickly chucked the led zeppelin shirt back in the closet and started pulling her shirt up again. He dropped his head and lifted his hand to cover his eyes, hearing an amused chuckle once his vision was blocked.

"My god! If you were a few years older I would snatch you up." she said quite seriously, but he didn't really understand why she made the comment.

Was he supposed to sit here and stare at her while she go undressed? And what he also didn't understand was the harsh feeling in his stomach at the mere thought of doing that, the easily identified feeling of guilt.

Carol had stripped down to her underwear in front of him more times than he could count, he doubted the blonde had anything he hadn't seen before, but even the idea of looking felt like a betrayal.

He kept his hand firmly in place until he felt the mattress dip and her hand lightly take hold of his wrist, pulling it down. Her hands were warm and soft and for a brief moment he let himself pretend the contact was coming from someone else. But when he forced his gaze up there was no way to continue the painful game.

"Your sweet" she said curling her lip, but it only made him feel like shit. What she meant was soft. Weak. And he couldn't disagree.

"Got a girlfriend?" she questioned. Usually, the question would have made him cringe, would have made him snap at her. But her face had softened, and her light smile made it almost impossible for him to feel anything but comforted. But he also realised that he didn't know how to answer that question anymore.

"Dunno" he shrugged, looking down at the light grip she still had on his wrist.

" Something happen? Have a fight?" she pressed with a tone so soft he wouldn't have heard her if she wasn't sitting so close.

"She left. Don't know where she is." he admitted, wishing he was able to take his eyes of the soft grasp she had on him.

"How long were you together?" she questioned in the same honeyed voice, something he would never have thought she was capable of when she first walked in using ever curse word he had ever heard in a matter of seconds.

"Don't really know" he admitted, unsure about how to answer that question to. The girl released a humourless chuckle that made his head rise up, wondering if he should let the embarrassment rise up. She shook her head at him as if she could read his thoughts through his expression. The soft smile returned, and her hand finally left his wrist. He froze as she re-positioned herself, moving until she was sitting next to him, and her side was pressed into his.

"I'm Andrea" she offered with a smile, making him return one without out much thought. He told her his first name and left it at that, as he had always done. Always worried if his families reputation would give people the wrong impression of him. Noticing that she had done the same made him wonder who her family was and if she was doing the same.

"So, what do you mean you know how long you were with her?" she asked, quite obviously very interested in the answer. It felt odd talking about Carol after months of refusing to have any conversations about her, after doing his best to avoid even thinking about her. But right now, here with a girl he didn't know, that was the only thing he wanted to talk about.

"Met her when I was ten. I don't know when we-….. I dunno it just happened. Not good with shit like that. Dates and shit. She knew that kind of stuff. Could tell ya the date of the first time I sneezed around her" he mumbled as his gaze drifted to the wall, locking on the blank space so there was nothing to distract him from remembering how she looked when she smiled, or was asleep beside him.

The question had spun around in his head before. There had never been any big declaration of love to get the wheels in motion things had happened gradually. They were only twelve when each of them had made the decision that it was something more, that they didn't mind having something more from each other and didn't mind handing out something more.

Truth was, he had always thought he knew when they had made that decision but when he tried to confirm it with Carol she had disagreed.

Carol had made a habit out of kissing him when they were younger because she liked to get a rise out of him. But one day, when he was in fairly shitty mood, she had done it again. It was different to any other time. It was as innocent as you'd expect a kiss to be between two kids, but for the first time he's found it to be more comforting then annoying. She had pecked him quickly before wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug.

Not to long after that he had returned the gesture, only he did it because she was having a fucking fantastic day, her mood was contagious. He did it without thinking, but it hadn't surprised either of them.

So, he was left wondering who was right, or if they were both right. He had never brought it up with Carol. She told him what she thought was right and he didn't feel the need to question it further, because in the end it didn't really matter.

Andrea smiled but her eyes were sad and he knew it had to do with the way he spoke, there was no avoiding the pain in his voice or the tensing of his muscles.

"She sounds sweet, you two would have been a good fit" she added, her tone growing even softer then it had been, some how making the aching he tried to drown out, rise to the surface.

"What was her name?" she asked carefully but he couldn't understand why she was pushing this conversation. Did she want him to start crying his eyes out right here?

He kept his eyes focused on the blank space, his head swimming with memories

"Carol" he choked out, lost in a daze of visions that consisted of laughter and warmth. Memories of waking up with his face in a mess of tangled curls, fingers grazing the arm that was wrapped securely around her. Listening to her whisper sweet shit in the dead of night, hoping it would help him fall into a blissful sleep undisturbed by the uninvited torment that crept into his head when he closed his eyes.

And falling asleep knowing that even that if horrible crap did find a way in, he would wake up to her comforting touches and promises that it was over, that she was right there with him and he was safe.

But none of that was his anymore.

"How long has it been?" she questioned in a painfully pitch, that's intention was to comfort him. In some ways it was working, it made him feel safe and at ease. But thinking about the day she left, the last time he saw her and the things she said to him, didn't comfort him. Those thoughts made his breathing heavy and his hands start to shake, just as they had done that day. Reminding him why he tried to push her away from his thoughts in the first place.

Her arm suddenly came around his shoulder and her hand rubbed his arm lightly drawing him closer to her side. No one was allowed to do this, no one was allowed to touch him and he didn't really understand why his mind wasn't demanding that he shove her away.

She told him it was going to be ok, that he would be ok. And for the briefest of moments he actually believed her, but that feeling faded fast. Before he could so much as nod in reply, the door swung open again and his head snapped up to see his big brothers wide eyes.

Merle stood in the doorway for a few seconds examining his position next to Andrea. The expression on his face showed that he was shocked. But he didn't understand why, he obviously wasn't doing anything with Andrea to received the baffled expression. She didn't seem that old, but she was obviously to old for him to be in here messing around with her.

"Well fuck. Turn my back for a few minutes and ya crawl in ta bed with another man." Merle laughed out, leaving Daryl confused.

"We were just talking" Andrea said giving him another tight squeeze into her side.

"Well, saves me the hassle of introducing ya to me kin at least" Merle said leaning into the door frame as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his pack of smokes and a lighter.

Andrea leaned back a bit, taking a look at him, just as he was with her.

He was sure he had a sour look on his face, while hers just looked disorientated as she looked back over to Merle.

"This is you brother?" Andrea asked receiving a smirk and a head shake from Merle.

Only then did his brain catch up and he finally found his words.

"This is the guy ya here with" he asked not attempting to hide his distaste and receiving a chuckle from Merle because of it.

"Christ Andrea. No offence, but you need to get ya head fuckin checked out" he said with far to much force, making his brother laugh even harder. But Andrea's expression remained the same, she looked at him like she was seeing an alien for the first time and he looked at her wondering what the fuck was wrong with her to be fucking around with the likes that asshole.

"You gonna stay in here then" Merle asked, obviously not really caring if she said yes, but he was quite obviously done with this interaction.

"No, we're gonna go back to my place and order take out and watch a movie" she said looking up at Merle who was now raising his brow at her with more interest in the conversation. He couldn't even object to the fact that she hadn't actually asked him if he wanted to go anywhere, because he was still wondering what the fuck was broken in her head.

"You can come to. I guess" she said to Merle, feigning annoyance, making Merle smirk at her and shake his head.

"Pizza or Chinese" Andrea asked as she used her hold on him to pull him to forward.

"Do I get a say in this" Merle asked as Andrea led him past his brother.

"Just be happy your invited Merle"

---

He watched Andrea closely as she covered Daryl over with a blanket and turned the volume down on the TV, rubbing at her neck as she looked over at Daryl again.

She was quite obviously fond of his little brother and Daryl had made it quite clear that he didn't mind Andrea's company, which was pretty damn amazing, seeing as Daryl appeared to only be tolerating people lately.

The women had a sweet touch about her, he'd known that. He'd just never been on the receiving end of it. He didn't like the lovey dove bullshit, but the boy did, and Andrea seemed to adapt to that shit as easily as turning on a light switch.

He'd almost fallen over when he walked into Paul's room and found Andrea with her arm around Daryl. The kid hadn't let anyone touch him in months, but he seemed quite happy to take it from Andrea. It made him like her even more then he had before.

She walked back over to the small love seat they had both crammed into so that his little brother could pass out on the couch. She sat her self down and draped her legs over his before curling into his side.

"How long she been gone?" she asked directing her attention back to the screen, even though he knew she wasn't watching the movie, couldn't possibly be, she turned it down so low that there was no way she could tell what was going on unless she knew how to read lips.

" Who?" he questioned, taking another swig of his beer and adjusting himself on the seat to get more comfortable.

" His girlfriend" Andrea added, causing his whole body to stiffen.

" He talks to you about her?" he asked, lowering his voice to a quiet hum, knowing the boy wouldn't appreciate it one fucking bit if he woke up and found them talking about him.

"Yeah. A bit." She said with softened tone that he wasn't sure he was really comfortable with.

He sucked down the last of his beer and squirmed around on his seat, moving her legs of him to get up from his spot.

He looked over at Daryl once he was on his feet, assuring he was still fast asleep, before nodding his head towards Andrea's room. The women looked confused but quickly complied with the request. She got up and turned the TV off before leading him to the bedroom of the small apartment.

Once she closed the door she turned to look at him with a questioning look and a furrowed brow.

He had the mind to keep his personal shit to himself and he also had the mind to do the same for his brother. Andrea knew he had a brother, he had told her as much, but anything else she knew about his family was supplied by the gossip grapevine of the small town and quite fucking tragically, all of that shit they flapped their gum about was true. Usually he didn't give a shit, as long as no one stuck their noses where they didn't belong and ask him questions about shit that had nothing to do with them. But right now, he wanted her to do just that, because the one thing Daryl had stressed was that no one talk about Carol. He wasn't to fucking sure if going along with that shit was a good idea because the kid looked like shit since she left and probably had to get some crap of his chest, but he found that he had no damn idea how to help the kid with that shit.

"Well. What did he say?" he questioned with far too much urgency in his tone.

Andrea shrugged quite obviously a little uneasy at his abruptness, but he could see her eyes dancing over his chest while he mind scanned through her memories of earlier to answer his question.

" That he met her when he was ten, that she was gone but he didn't know where, that she was the one who remembered the specific details of their relationship" she said giving him another shrug.

"I don't know Merle just stuff. Sweet stuff. He got upset when I asked her when she left and I was just wondering how long it had been" she said pulling her shirt over head and began undoing her jeans as she walked over to the bed.

"Must have been pretty serious. Poor kid looked like he was gonna burst into tears" she added crawling onto the mattress.

"Boy was pretty much shacked up with her, glued to her side for years" He clarified, still remaining in his spot by the door.

"Shacked up? He's just a baby. How could he be shacked up with her?"

He stopped then and shifted on his feet, ignoring the question. He couldn't answer this shit. This wasn't his fucking business. It was his brother shit, and not his to talk about.

Andrea was leaning up against the headboard, lightly nodding to herself, taking his silence as an answer that he didn't feel to damn comfortable continuing.

"You….working tomorrow. Or whatever the hell you call it?" Andrea asked.

"Yeah. Why?" He asked glancing in her direction.

"Leave him here, with me while your gone"

"Ain't gonna do that. He's not your responsibility" Merle told her, shaking his head.

" But he's Dwight's?" She questioned raising her brow.

"That's different. Ain't leaching of ya Andrea." He growled, low and rough.

"Then don't leach of me. I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to leave Daryl with me, so I can talk to him. He's upset Merle, he needs someone to talk to."

"He wants to talk, he can talk to me" Merle snapped a little to harshly, but as usual, his tone didn't affect Andrea.

"Does he?" She asked firmly.

Merle didn't answer.

---

When she walked out in the morning, she found the boy sitting upright on the sofa, clutching a tattered book to his chest. He was still fast asleep, but she could only tell that by the sound of his levelled breathing.

His hair hung over his eyes and the hood from his jumper was covering most of his face.

He was a sweet kid, there was no denying it and no ignoring it. He needed help, most likely more then she could offer him. She had seen that dark look in someones eyes before, but she had never witnessed them overcome it.

"You sure this is alright." Merle asked softer voice that she didn't know he was capable of releasing.

"Go. I'll be fine."

Merle nodded stiffly in response, looking over to his brother once more before quietly sneaking out the door.

She had been seeing Merle on and off for months, but he never talked much about his home life, and he didn't question her about hers. Last night was the first night he had introduced her to his friends, and she could tell that was a serious step for him. He looked as nervous as most people would when you took someone home to meet your parents.

The Dixon's had a very…colourful reputation around town. There were stories about their abusive father and the mother who left her boys behind, never to be heard from again.

Everyone knew Hank to be a violent and dangerous man and she had heard that Jessie Dixon was not much different. She didn't ask Merle personal questions, she decided to grant him the same courtesy that he had given her. He didn't ask her about the gossip surrounding her family and he didn't pry, he was willing to take the information that she was comfortable to hand out, if and when she felt the need.

But last night she had to ask him what the hell he was thinking having that young boy in a house that was known to be one of the most dangerous places in town.

He had told her that Daryl needed a place to stay, he couldn't drag the boy from place to place each day and just hope they found someone who would take them in, that was something Jessie could offer for the time being. He also said that as bad an idea as it was having Daryl there, it was a hell of a lot safer than having him at Hanks.

She made the offer a dozen times, practically begged him to stay there with her, but Merle was far too proud to take her up on the offer.

---

By Monday morning Merle was pretty damn happy with himself. He had juggled the boy all weekend and now he could drop him off at school and make some real money without having to worry about him, quietly hoping that there would be enough time for him to see Andrea before he needed to pick Daryl up.

"Paul is gonna pick you up and take you to Aaron's house after school. I'll come get you at five" He muttered as they made their way out of the basement, not receiving more than a grunt in response. Though he admittedly was happy that he even got that much of a reply, seeing as Daryl had barely made a damn sound in days. It was at the point where he was considering starving him out just so he could hear the boys voice when he asked for something to eat.

He was looking down at his phone as they made their way through the house, stealing glances at Daryl, happy that the kid also had the good sense to keep his head down as he passed everyone and ignored what was going on around him.

He laughed about the fact that he was patting himself on the back on seconds ago for keeping the kid out of trouble all weekend. The kid lived in trouble; this was a fucking joke. He stayed here himself a lot, but it was only when he had nowhere else to go. Fact was he would sooner sleep in an abandoned car before he stayed in this crack den. But the kid needs a damn roof, needed a place with running water and electricity.

He was still looking down texting Paul when he opened the front door and heard Jessie's raised voice.

"Go home Hank".

His head snapped up to see his very drunk and enraged father standing in the driveway. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and looked down to see his little brother wide eyed, his chest pumping in and out with each rapid breath.

"Get in the truck" Hank yelled over Jessie's shoulder making his little brother openly cringe. He watched as Daryl's head dropped before, he took two steps forward, ready to follow Hank's commands as he'd been trained to do.

"Nah" Merle snapped, reaching out and grabbing Daryl's arm, pulling him back before he launched himself forward.

"Your gonna leave. Or so help me god Hank" he threatened with a growl, wanting nothing more then to unleash the disgust he had for the man.

---

"What are you gonna do?" his father roared in Merle's face, but his brother didn't even blink. His eyes were wild and dark, revealing an anger that he didn't think Merle could ever possess.

He stood silent on the sidelines watching his brother, uncle and father start the very public yelling match.

He watched the shoving between the three of them and the vicious threats that they made to each other. He watched as Jessie stood between them, trying to convince each of them to back off.

Merle's whole body seemed to vibrate like his skin couldn't contain the rage burning inside of him, but no one seemed to notice that he was ready to completely loose it.

It happened quickly.

Merle shoved Jessie out of the way and slammed his body into Hanks, one hand grabbed their father's shirt and the other fist swung hard and fast into Hank's face.

His father reacted instantly, punching Merle back, his fist hitting his brothers jaw hard, but Merle stood his ground and continued to swing back.

He wasn't sure how many hits had been thrown when Jessie managed to get in between them again.

"It's kidnapping" Hank said with a growl.

"You wanna go to back to prison boy, that it?" Hank asked with a cocky smirk, attempting to scare Merle as though he couldn't feel the inflamed rage that was coming of his brother in waves.

" I'll take you down with me prick. Wait till they see what you've done to that damn kid, see what kind of treatment you get in there, tell ya now the boys on the inside don't take to kindly to pieces of shit like you" Merle announced making Jessie and Hank turn their heads.

All of them were starring at him standing on the sidelines, all with completely different expressions, but all making him feel equally as shitty as the other.

He dropped his head, still feeling their eyes on him. His face burnt and he began gnawing at his lower lip until he tasted blood, in an attempt to focus on rather then the embarrassment he felt coursing through him.

He didn't look up when they continued arguing.

He didn't look up when he felt Merle grab a hold of his arm and drag him over to this bike, not even when his brother fastened the helmet on him.

In fact, he barely looked up until the bike pulled up in front of his school.

He jumped off and began undoing the helmet passing it to his older brother, forcing himself to look up only to find that the fury was still visible in Merle's eyes, but it was easy to overlook when he took in the blood spilling from his mouth and the bruise swelling over his jaw.

"You meet me right here when your finished. No fucking around"

"But you said-" he stammered before Merle cut him off.

"I know what I said. Fuckin listen to what'm saying now." Merle barked harshly, making him jump back slightly before he nodded and ducked his head, turning quickly and heading onto the school grounds.

---

When his brother picked him after school, he didn't say a single word. He hopped on the back of his brother's bike and sped of down the street with him.

He didn't try to question Merle when the drove in the opposite direction of Jessie's house or when they drove right passed the Rovia's. He didn't even question Merle when they pulled up outside of Andrea's apartment complex, mostly because he didn't know what to say.

He jumped of the bike waiting on Merle to follow him, but Merle didn't move from his bike.

" Go on up. She's expecting ya" Merle growled without so much as looking at him before he suddenly sped off out of sight.

He watched his brother disappear and wondered what the hell was going on. He turned and made his way up the flight of stairs feeling oddly nervous about knocking on her door. He liked her, she was nice, but he still didn't think that he knew her well enough to just be showing up on her doorstep without an invitation.

When he got outside her door, he raised his hand to knock when the door was suddenly pulled open.

Andrea wore the same inviting smile that she seemed to have on reserve for him and he was happy to see it.

"Come on"

When he walked in, he saw his duffle bag on the ground by the couch and frowned at it. He wondered if Merle had finally found somewhere to dump him, so he wasn't stuck looking out for him. After what had happened this morning, he wasn't to surprised that Merle decided this was too much of a hassle for him to have to deal with.

Andrea opened up the cabinet that the TV sat on, showing off its empty shelves.

"Merle said you were fine keeping your stuff in the bag, but you can put some stuff in here if you need more space, you should be able to put your bag on the bottom shelf if you want it out of the way."

He felt a bit sick to his stomach looking at the empty shelves and he was sure that discomfort was showing on his face, because Andrea was suddenly looking at him carefully from her crouched position.

She sighed lightly, her lip curving slightly as she released the breath.

"I know this place is a bit small for three people and I'm sure you're not looking forward to staying in the living room- slash, kitchen - slash, dining room, but I promise we will at least try to give you a bit of time to yourself when we can manage it."

He didn't trust his voice right now and he wasn't sure that he knew what to say to her, so he just nodded and sat down in what was now his bedroom - slash, the living room - slash, the kitchen and dining room.

He mumbled a "thank you" that was pretty damn pathetic considering this girl was giving up her private space to him and his brother when they really weren't her concern.

---

"Because I know what it's like when everyone knows your last name, and nobody wants a single thing to do with you."

That had been her reasoning for letting them stay here, he should have been polite and left it at that, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"Well what your last name then?" He questioned leaning back into the kitchen bench.

"You sure you wanna know?" Andrea asked him.

He nodded fixing his gaze on her face and how composed it was, there was even a hint of a smile on her lips, but it looked like one of those nervous smiles you didn't really mean to make, it just came out because you were uncomfortable or nervous.

"Harrison"

He raised his brow high at the mention of the name. The name everyone in the whole damn county knew.

"You don't mean-…Your not-"

"Yep. Crazy Melvin's daughter, the last member of the Harrison Dynasty" she told him with an insincere smirk.

"Jesus Andrea. I'm sorry" he mumbled out in a heavy breath, wishing he knew what else to say other than sorry. But that's all he had, because he was sorry. Sorry that he knew so much about her personal life, sorry he he asked in the first place, sorry he couldn't wipe the shock from his expression, sorry he had dumped his crap on her when she had more than enough to carry around.

Sorry that she was a part of something that had turned into an urban legend rather then the real life horror story that it was.

This time the small smile on her lips was real. It was soft and faint. But it wasn't forced.

"it's ok. It was a long time ago."

He didn't want to keep starring at her, but he couldn't help himself. His arms tightened around stomach almost painfully, wondering how the hell she was standing here in front of him. Why wasn't she locked up in a loonie bin somewhere, rocking in the corner of a white padded room.

"Really Daryl it's ok. If you have any questions let them fly." she said with a casual tone that only made him more uneasy.

She was just standing there making him lunch. He felt the sudden urge to make her sit down, make her a cup of tea or some shit. There was no way in hell Andrea fucking Harrison should be standing here making him his lunch.

"Merle know?" he questioned quietly as Andrea turned her attention back to the sandwiches she was making.

She nodded keeping her head down.

"Merle knows. We've never talked about it. But he knows".

He nodded back, bringing the corner of his thumb up to his mouth to gnaw at it, possibly until he hit the bone.

"That's the only question you have. Really?"

He chewed at his thumbnail with more force.

"It's your business. You don't need to talk about it."

Fuck he had some questions. Was the shit everyone said true? What was fact and what was fiction? Her mere existence showed that at least some of it was true, but he wasn't about to question her with the bullshit people talked about.

"I don't mind talking about it Daryl. I really don't. It's kind of cathartic, putting it all out there."

He thought about that for a moment, watching as she put the food onto the plates and wondering how she was still planning on eating, when he wasn't sure he could stomach it now.

He followed her into the living room, watching her put the plates on the coffee table, before dropping on the sofa.

He continued to chew the skin away from his thumb until he tasted blood, sitting down next to her and wondering if he really did want to know the answers to the questions he had. But she looked at him as if she was waiting on him to ask. She had nothing to be ashamed of and he wanted to ask her something, so she didn't think he thought otherwise.

"You tell people?"

"Not often. It's hard to know how some people will react. Its easier at school, its far away so no one knows the story and if they do, no one remembers the names so I can get by with keeping it to myself. But if it's a friend, some one I trust….then yeah I tell them"

"You trust me?" he questioned quietly, eyeing her carefully.

"I wouldn't have told you if I didn't"

He nodded. He had only known her a short time, but he did trust her, she was his friend so it wasn't to hard to believe that she saw him that way too.

"What everyone say's, all that true"

She hummed in response, watching him as though she was ready to offer comfort to him.

He wanted her to tell him that there were holes in the stories that people gossiped about over coffee. That those assholes who spoke about her tragedies as though they flat stories with not heart ache behind them, were wrong.

He'd been hearing the story his whole life. The real-life nightmare about a mad man who snapped one night, murdered his wife and youngest daughter, leaving the eldest alive and alone in this world.

"Why did he kill them and not you?"

"He was crazy Daryl. Who knows. Maybe one of the voices in his head told him to leave me alive, maybe he was caught up in his own hysteria and forgot I even existed" she laughed coldly and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe the crazy bastard thought he already did kill me. There's really no way to know".

"How old was she?"

"Four"

He flinched at the number and sunk down in his seat. She had obviously answered these questions a hundred times, the words flowed far to easily and she seemed almost disconnected from the answers, like she was explaining to plot to a movie she had seen or something. She grabbed the remote and flicked the TV on and he was happy she was giving him time to digest the story.

"I forgot the drinks. You want ice tea or Lemonade?"

"Whatever your hav'n is fine".

Part 4

Merle had never had a problem getting himself a girl. When the parties at Dwight's would start to wind down Merle always seemed to have some girl hanging around, waiting on him to give her a bit of his time.

His big brother didn't seem to have any problem talking to girls and convincing them to keep him warm for the night. But the more time he spent with Merle and Andrea he realised that right now Merle was attempting something he had never once attempted before.

They had been living with Andrea for months and as time went by, he realised that as good as Merle was at getting a girl to spend the night with him, he didn't have a single clue how to keep one for much longer than that. Andrea had thrown Merle out of the house three times already and Merle had walked out on his own accord three times. From what he could quietly gather, they had been having the same fight over and over again, but Merle couldn't quite seem to figure out that this back and forth they had going on, could be stopped quite easily.

There was a schedule. That was how Andrea liked things and he didn't mind the structure. He liked knowing what was going to happen from day to day. Andrea was in college, that was almost an hours drive away. She'd told him the rent in town was cheaper and even with the money she spent on gas it still worked out better then moving there. She worked two jobs at two different diners and was always on the phone to real estate agents and her lawyer, but he didn't know what that was all about, he was just the one who passed the phone messages through to her.

One thing he noticed about Andrea was the amounts of coffee she drank.

He found it best to just keep the pot hot for her when ever she was home, because she needed to keep moving. She seemed to be constantly doing something, she was always studying when she was at home and when she wasn't at home it was because she was either at college or work. Even when he'd gotten a lift to school with her she had those books on tape going or recordings of lectures, there was always something. He didn't know how she managed to do all of that and not snap and kill his brother, who appeared to be going out of his way to piss her off.

Andrea was in the kitchen at the small table working, while he watched TV, mostly he just starred at the thing trying to figure out how people did this shit all day. Most of the jokes weren't funny, but there was laugh tracks inserted that were trying to convince him they were.

It was seven thirty when Merle walked through the front door. Later then he had told them he would be, but he still looked pretty damn relaxed.

He looked at his brothers' hands and noticed the movies he had in one, the takeaway he had in the other and he cringed at the sight.

He briefly wondered if Merle really was going out of his way to piss Andrea off or if he really was that heedless of what was going on around him.

He had been accused of not paying mind to his surroundings, he had been accused of that more times than he could count. But he also knew there were times when you had to pay attention to someone, times when you had to be switched on.

He never switched off around Hank, he needed to be on guard around that prick. He also paid attention to Carol because he wanted to make sure he was doing everything he could to make her as happy as he was capable of making her, as happy as she had made him.

He wasn't so sure that Merle wasn't paying attention to Andrea when she spoke, so much as he just wasn't retaining the information she was giving him.

"Where the hell have you been?" Andrea snapped as she came storming into the living room.

He sunk down in his seat as the inevitable fight began. One he knew his brother quite well deserved.

They yelled back and forth for a few minutes. Merle called Andrea a moody bitch and Andrea called Merle an insensitive asshole, before she stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Merle dropped the movies and food down onto the coffee table before dropping his ever-growing form down onto the sofa beside him.

"That bitch is driving my ass crazy" Merle barked as he ran his hand through his hair roughly.

He kept his eyes on the TV and shook his head.

"Shouldn't call her that".

"She just called me an asshole. You gonna be quick ta defend my ass when she gets back?" Merle asked, pointing to the door that Andrea had fled through.

He let out a heavy breath through his nose, before answering Merle very clearly.

"No I'm not. She's right, you are an insensitive asshole"

" I did what she asked me to do. Come home, bring movies and food" Merle spat, trying to sound angry but there was a strong trace of defeat in his brother's tone.

He chuckled and shook his head again, still keeping his eyes fixed on the TV.

"What?" Merle asked, almost pleading.

He hadn't gotten involved. He didn't feel like talking and he didn't think it was his place to get in the middle of their shit. But right now, his brother obviously wanted help and he knew Andrea didn't deserve to be putting up with Merle's dumb ass.

"Ya late. Two hours late."

"Got held up" Merle reasoned.

He nodded in reply. He knew that. He knew Andrea mostly knew that, but that wasn't the problem. "Ain't the point"

"What is then wise ass?"

"She's worried about you ya dumb shit. Doin-…whatever the fuck it is you do, ain't exactly safe. You ain't a pizza delivery boy. If your late she won't be able to help herself but think somethin bad happened. Ya gonna be late, ya gotta let her know".

"You really think that whole thing was over my ass being late" Merle asked with his eyes boring into him.

He shook his head again, realising more and more as the conversation went on, just how damn clueless Merle really was.

" You brought horror movies, Andrea hates scary movies, she's done told you that a hundred times. And you came home with Italian food".

"She loves Italian food. We ate this same shit not three days ago" Merle said far to loudly, becoming still like he was on trial, trying to defend himself.

It took everything he had not to laugh. He didn't know why this was so funny to him, but it was just hitting him the right way to make him want to break the seal that had kept him from smiling for months.

"And she sat there, three days ago and told you that the shit makes her bloated and then she spent all the next day saying how she was fat. Telling everyone in ear shot that she wasn't eating pasta ever again. Then you come home with a bag of the shit…besides, she told you to get Chinese food".

"What the hell kinda logic is that. She thinks ones worse for ya then the other. She ain't fat anyway, why she worried about dumb shit like that".

He groaned and dragged his hands over his face, finally turning away from the TV to face his big brother.

"It ain't about any of that Merle."

"Explain that shit to me then."

He took a deep breath and straightened, keeping a close eye on his brother to make sure that he was actually listening.

" She thinks ya ignoring her ass, Merle. Looks like ya don't give a shit what she says.

Don't take a genius to figure out why she doesn't like horror movies.

And if something is making her feel bad about herself and you serve that shit up for dinner, kinda makes it look like you don't give a shit how she feels.

And the being late bullshit. It's just good fuckin manners to call if ya gonna be late, don't leave her here wondering where you are and if you're ok. Don't be an insensitive asshole".

Merle starred at him long after he'd finished talking and turned his attention back to the TV.

He knew his brother was obviously running through what he'd just been told and was considering it carefully. His brow was knitted, and his eyes were squinted, looking as though he had been asked to solve a math problem, rather than being asked to stop being a dickhead to his girlfriend.

Suddenly Merle growled and jumped back up. He didn't say anything to him, but he could hear him mumbling to himself as he went out the door and slammed it, just as Andrea had only minutes before.

He rolled his eyes and picked out one of the containers from the bag, along with a plastic fork and relaxed back in his spot, deciding to help even more then he had. He'd do that by removing the offensive pasta dishes.