The five young heroes entered the pool room, looking around for any sign of life until Juliet felt something being trained on her and turned to wave at Cordelia, who was perched on the lifeguard tower.
"Cordelia!"
"Hey, baby!" Eddy grinned as he sauntered up to the older Starling sister, only for her to smack him upside the head with her rifle, making him fall to the ground seeing stars.
"Still the same as ever, aren't you, Eddy?" She scoffed as she turned to Juliet, noticing Nick.
"Oh, hey, Cordelia, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Nick!"
"Uh, hey!" Nick awkwardly greeted.
"Hey, he's kinda cute."
"Thanks!" Juliet beamed, pulling Nick into a one-arm hug.
Suddenly, music began echoing as everyone turned to see the Dark Purveyor on his Longship currently anchored in the center of the pool as it began lifting itself back into the air.
"Baebae, Skrealings! Onward to further victory!" The zombie boss said as the six cleared a safe distance.
"Juliet! Execute maneuver 54V!" Cordelia ordered.
"Right!" Juliet said, running at top speeds towards her sister and onto her hands.
"1, 2, 3!" They both counted as Cordelia launched her little sister towards the ship.
"FLY, DOUBLE-D, FLY!" Ed shouted as he picked up Double-D and threw him at the Longship, which he quickly clung on to for dear life. "FLY, NICK, FLY!"
"Wait, hold up-!" Nick tried to protest before Ed grabbed him and threw him next, making him scream as he almost didn't make it before Juliet caught him.
"You're turn, Eddy!" Ed said as he turned to Eddy next.
"OH NO YOU DON'T-!" Eddy began only to be grabbed and thrown like an Olympic Discus. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!"
With the rest of his friends having made it onto the Longship, Ed took out his Rocket Launcher and did like the Soldier from TF2; ROCKET JUMP!
"Good luck, Juliet! You too, boys! And you too, cute boyfriend whose name I forget!" Cordelia called out as the Longship took off into the sky, the heroes making their way on board.
"Ed...don't ever do that again..." Double-D groaned as he made sure his legs weren't shaking anymore.
"If it isn't the Pirates of the Jerk-off-ian!" Juliet said as the team confronted the Dark Purveyor.
"Ye've got a lot of gall setting foot on my ship, börn (children)."
Nick gagged as he staggered. "Getting a little seasick..."
Juliet said nothing as she popped a lollipop in her mouth. Eddy cracked his knuckles, Double-D adjusted his hat, and Ed took off his helmet to put on a Viking helmet on his head.
"LOTHAR NOW COMMANDS THIS SHIP, DARK LORD!"
"Alright, boys!" The Dark Purveyor said as he did a brief solo on his drums before pointing one of his drumsticks forward. "Yumil, let's cut these bitches into bite-sized chum!"
"LOTHAR ACCEPTS YOUR CHALLENGE!" Ed boomed back as he stepped forward, the Dark Purveyor doing another rock solo on his drums.
"I'm gonna use their faces to make some hats! And use their spines as backscratchers!"
With that brief song line, he jumped off his drum set and landed on the ship, preparing to face the five zombie-hunting heroes.
"Let's show 'er the Viking way!" He laughed as his bio manifested.
Viking Metal Zombie Vikke!
Influences: Bathory, Enslaved, Necrophilia
Yumil
Favorite Food: You
Hobbies: Disemboweling, drinking blood, balancing a ball on his nose
"They added a bio for his bear pelt too?" Eddy questioned as Juliet sawed through the bio without a care.
"We are Vikings, short and stout! We like to drink and fuck, fuck, fuck!" Vikke chanted, charging at the gang.
"Vikings did indeed have a very bloody history..." Double-D sighed as Ed quickly blocked a dropkick from Vikke and then shoved him back.
"Let's show this asshole what real Vikings are like, Ed!" Eddy grinned as he whipped out a boombox and hit play.
(Play We Are Vikings by Peyton Parrish)
"Join me in glory, Juliet and Nick!" Ed said to the couple as they nodded and joined him while Eddy and Double-D backed them up by rocking to the music.
The nightmare of eternity
Marches right before your eyes
As the ground begins to shake
Ravens fly amongst the sky
Battles of great divine
Torn hearts of fear and cries
Let the rage of war ignite
We were born to rise
Vikke swung his Axe to try and chop the trio in half but Ed blocked by clapping his hands over it as Juliet slashed at the Dark Purveyor with her chainsaw, followed by Nick doing a quick sai combo finishing with a jumping uppercut.
We're gonna raid all your shit
Annihilate your villages
We're gonna raid all your shit
Plunder all for the hell of it
We're gonna raid all your shit (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Annihilate your villages (ouh, ouh, ouh)
We're gonna raid all your shit (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Plunder all for the hell of it (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Vikke stumbled before panting heavily as he lunged forward and performed a dropkick, only for Ed to grab his legs and with his immense strength, slam him into the ground hard as Nick fired a Proximity Mine on Vikke's chest, which exploded and blew him in half.
"Good one, Nick!" Juliet cheered.
Vikke suddenly chuckled as his top half floated up, his bottom half getting up to its feet.
"You've got a lot of gall, little ones!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Nick cursed.
We are
We are vikings
Warriors, stand up, fight
You're going down tonight
Berserkers, fury of war
We are, we are, we are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings
Vikke's bottom half tried to dropkick Juliet only for her to flip over it and stab it with her chainsaw. Ed took out his Chaingun and opened fire on Vikke's floating top half as he tried to dodge, which was hard as Nick also fired with the Murderang. Soon, he was overwhelmed and knocked down, allowing Nick to decapitate his head, causing both halves of his body to fall limp.
Man of honor, man of war
Tales be told forever more
Bloody axes, bloody fields
Fight with honor, clash of shields
Roaring mountains from afar
Fearless soldiers fight with heart
Haunting lands of man and steel
Victorious reign
"Did that do it?" Nick asked hopefully only for Vikke's head to rise up, now giant.
We're gonna raid all your shit
Annihilate your villages
We're gonna raid all your shit
Plunder all for the hell of it
"I HAVE THE POWER OF THE GODS IN ME BLOOD!" He shouted as he inhaled both halves of his body, chewing them up and then letting out a vicious roar.
"Guess not..." Juliet grumbled.
We're gonna raid all your shit (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Annihilate your villages (ouh, ouh, ouh)
We're gonna raid all your shit (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Plunder all for the hell of it (ouh, ouh, ouh)
Vikke charged up an attack in his giant mouth only for Ed to take out a grenade and throw it into his open mouth, making him swallow it before having it explode in his head as it fell down, smoke pouring from his ears as his eyes spun dizzily.
"Yes, it's time! FINISH HIM!" Nick shouted as Juliet rushed in to finish the bastard off.
We are
We are vikings
Warriors, stand up, fight
You're going down tonight
Berserkers, fury of war
We are, we are, we are vikings
Vikke tried to recover, only to suddenly be grabbed by Ed from behind, slamming the head down, and holding it there as Juliet sliced his head in a V-section.
Warriors, stand up, fight
You're going down tonight
Berserkers, fury of war
We are, we are, we are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings (ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh)
We are vikings
Eddy and Double-D finished the song and posed as Vikke screamed in agony, his head falling apart.
"Impossible! I can't be beaten by little children! I'm a warrior!"
"I hear Viking brains are good for the complexion!" Juliet smirked as she and Ed shared a high-five.
Vikke let out a dying chuckle as his bear pelt, Yumil, rose from his remains and lunged at the heroes, only to explode into bloody giblets when Eddy took out a shotgun from his coat and fired a point-blank shot at it.
"Grandad's patented Bear Fucker Shells! Never leave home without em'!"
"Sweet job, dude." Nick complimented. "And seriously, you rocked the Peyton Parrish voice."
"Meus Vita, Rege, Pro nefario coepto!" Vikke chanted as he faded back to Rotten World.
"And so Lothar and his merry crew vanquish the Dark Lord from this land!" Ed declared, raising a spatula he pulled out of somewhere into the air like it was a sword.
Suddenly, the entire boat began to shake and start to fall.
"Oh, this bites my balls!" Nick cursed as Juliet stabbed her chainsaw into the boat to keep her from falling, catching Nick as well.
"HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!" Eddy cried as The Eds held onto each other for dear life, Ed using his spatula to hold on the same way Juliet was doing.
Vikke wasn't gonna stand a chance when he brought out some real Viking Rock courtesy of Peyton Parrish, baby!