EPISODE 1: Not So Gassy Campers
The episode opened up on Wawanakwa Island with the host of the show, Piss Mclame was standing there being lame and annoying
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM PI CHRIS AND IM GONNA PISS AND CRY AND SHIT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" PI chris said as he cried and shit his pants, before Chef Hachet shot PI Chris with his iconic gun.
"Ok, PI Chris is dead, I'm the host now!" Chef said as he narrated on the dick of shame. "This season, all 100 previous total drama and the ridiculous six race are gonna come compete in a battle for the prize of ONE! DOLLAR! Who will win? I don't care! Find out on TOTAL! DRAMA! DOMINATION!"
(Theme Song or some shit idk)
"Anyway, heres all the stupid dumb moron loser contestants!" Chef said, chadly. "First up! Ezekiel!"
"Women Stink!"
"Eva!"
"GGGGHHHHHHRRRRRRR!"
"Noah!"
"I hate dodgeball"
"Justin!"
Justin stood there being hot
"Katie!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Tyler!"
Tyler died from tripping on his shoelaces and getting eaten by a shark
"Izzy!"
"Hello"
"Cody!"
"WOMEN WON"T DATE ME BECAUSE OF FEMINISM!"
"Beth!"
Beth ate cookies, evily.
"Sadie!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sadie said the same as katie, but for some reason the fans hated it when she did it and loved it when katie did it for no reason at all
"Courtney!"
"I WAS A CIT!"
"Harold!"
"Booyeah!"
"Trent!"
"NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE!"
"Bridgette!"
.
"Lindsay!"
"How do you breathe again?" Lindsay then died because she forgot how to breathe.
"DJ!"
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOMMA!"
"Geoff!"
"Draco
EliTrill
Soulja
Rick and Morty (Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick)
P-P-PlayMajor
(Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick)
Yeah, ayy (Yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, yeah
Yeah, Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Walked in the club, it's just me and my shorty (Ayy)
Grippin' on my tool, yeah, I'm grippin' on my .40
Shootin' with that three, yeah, you know I'm very sporty (Swish)
Ballin' like a sport, dunkin' on the court
Got this bad ass bitch, yeah, she's goin' to New York (Yeah)
Droppin' off the top on a brand new Porsche (Porsche)
Brand new Porsche, yeah, the roof got divorced (Yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Yeah, yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty, nathan, jump on spaceships
And don't reach for my chain, you get hit with the K clip
Rick, Rick, Rick, Morty
Drop-top Bugatti, swag on early (Swag)
Drop that top in the Lambo', young nathan swervin'
I'm on a whole nother planet with Rick and Morty
That's a UFO, that's a Porsche twin turbo (Turbo)
When I jumped out the coupe, they like, "Hey, Big Draco"
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Yeah)
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty (Draco)
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick
Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
Rick and Morty (Yeah), Rick and Morty (Yeah, yeah)
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick (Yeah)
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, yeah"
"Leshawna!"
"Hey guys"
"Duncan!"
Duncan came out wearing a diaper and sucking on his pacifier cuz hes a stupid dumb loser baby and I hate him.
"Heather!"
"I hate Chris!"
"Gwen!"
"Whatever"
"Owen!"
Owen ate food!
"Blainley!"
"Blainerific!"
"Sierra!"
"CODY!"
"Alejandro!"
Alejandro was still in the drama bot in severe pain, his bones could not work, but he is in constant pain.
"Staci!"
"Yeah, my great great great great uncle invented shitty unfunny parody fan fics! Before him, people actually had friends!"
"Dakota!"
"Sup Losers!"
B
"Dawn!"
"My aura says I smell bad!"
"Sam!"
"Gamer" Everyone cheered and gave Sam a 37-hour standing ovation for his service in the console war.
"Brick!"
Brick pissed his pants
"Ann Maria!"
"Jersey!"
"Mike!"
"I love Nickleback!"
"Jo!"
"Move it, maggot!"
"Scott!"
Scott ate dirt epicly
"Zoey!"
"MIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Cameron!"
Cameron farted because he is an Owen rip off
"Lightning!"
"Sha Lightning!" Everyone gave him a 37-hour standing ovation for his service in the football wars.
"Beardo!"
He did a sound effect
"Leonard!"
"Wizard powers! BITCHES!"
"Amy!"
"I am the cool and hot and smart sibling"
"Rodney!"
Rodney had a stroke on the floor cuz he saw a wamen
"Sparmey!"
"I am the lame and ugly and dumb sibling"
"Ella!"
She sang a song
"Topher!"
Topher did not interact with anyone
"Dave!"
"WWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SKY!"
"Scarlett!"
"Math word"
"Max!"
"EVIL!"
"Jasmine!"
"Bloomin Onion!"
"Sugar!"
"A dolla make me holla huney boo boo child!"
"Sky!"
"My boyfriend keith"
"Shawn!"
"ZOMBIES!"
"Tammy!"
Tammy played a beautiful song on her ocarina of time for N64
"Gerry!"
"heheheheheheheheh"
"Pete!"
"hehehehehehheheh"
"Ellody!"
Ellody said nothing cuz she couldn't wing it
"Mary!"
"Hello" Mary said something cuz she COULD wing it
"Laurie!"
Laurie ate meat
"Miles!"
Miles ate plant
"Tom!"
Idk
"Jen!"
Idk
"Taylor!"
"Chipolte!"
"Kelly!"
"I hate my bitch daughter"
"Jay!"
"I have two days to live"
"Mickey!"
"As do I"
"Chet and Lorenzo!"
"You stink!"
"You stink!"
"Rock!
Rock played gater
"Spud!"
Spud did not react
"Dwayne!"
"I hate my wife"
"Juinor!"
"Father I can not click book"
"Crimson!"
"Goth"
"Ennui!"
"Goth"
"Brody!"
Brody exploded
"Stephine!"
"I HATE RYAN!"
"Ryan!"
"I HATE STEPHINE!"
"Devin and Carrie!"
"DUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WERE STUPID MORON IDIOTS WHO ARE DUMB AND STUPID AND LOSERS!"
"Emma!"
"Noah cucked me for Owen"
"Kitty!"
"Selfie!"
"Jaques!"
"it would be cool if I won gold I guess"
"Josse!"
"ME WANT GOLD ME WANT GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"
"Macarhur!"
'Мое любимое блюдо в Burger King — это картофель фри с курицей'
"Sanders!"
Im tired
"Caleb!"
"THIS IS GARBAGE!"
"Axel!"
"ZOMBIE!"
"Nichelle!"
"Take that Hollywood!"
"Scary Girl!"
"I crave blood"
"Damien!"
"Whats a Total drama"
"Mk!"
No one saw MK because she was too short
"Wayne and Raj!"
"Hockey Poutine Zambonie!"
"Ripper!"
Ripper kicked Duncans ass "NERD!" Everyone clapped and gave him one million dollars
"Zee!"
"Breakfast Soda"
"Chase and Emma!"
"Hey gu-"
"SHUT UP EMMA QUIT STEALING MY SPOTLIGHT YOU SELFISH BITCH!"
"Julia!"
"Avacoda toast"
"Millie!"
Millie wrote down duncan in her notebook where she documented stupid morons.
"Bowie!"
"slay"
"Alright, that's all the contestants!" Chef said correctly, before some selfish ingrate decided to interrupt him.
"Uh, Chef, you forgot about me?" Priya said
"Oh, an intern, well since we have 99 contetants, you can play if you want too." Chef said. "Anyway, Since im lazy and tired, the teams will be divided by girls and gamers, so go into your cabins!"
In the guys cabin, Ripper did an epic fart on Duncan. Everyone clapped.
In the girls cabin, Scary Girl made an announcement. "I'm gonna sing my favorite song!"
"Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
But before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip
Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by a Care Bear stare
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown
Angels sang out an immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs
Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight
And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie
And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe
The fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown
(The ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown
(The ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown
Of ultimate destiny"
The campers went into the Mess Hall and ate Chef's delicious Beefaroni recipe.
"Attention campers! Time for the challenge!"
"What do you think it will be?" Rodney asked dumbly
"It will be to jump off a large cliff into shark infested waters, and which ever team has the most jumpers will get an avantenge in the next part where we have to build a better hot tub than the other team. I know this because I am smart and cool." Ripper said correctly
The scene trasitioned to the top of the total drama cliff. "I was right" Ripper said.
(BOOT ORDER)
100th: Tyler (DEAD)
99th: Lindsay (DEAD)
Im redoing the eli cut, this time with the reboot cast and less unfunny barney jokes. Anyway Lindsay and Tyler died cuz they were like so stupid and dumb they forgot to live