"Oh, mio Dio!" Elsie Largo cursed under her breath and gripped her armrest as hard as she could. Her breath appeared before her as a white cloud that she was quickly rushed through as the sleigh upon which she rode lurched forward. "Did we not learn from our mistakes of the past?! When we so foolishly permitted Weronika to drive us to McDonald's!" she complained, slightly louder now.
"Awww, shut your second asshole!" Weronika snorted over her shoulder. Unlike Elsie, the cold wasn't bothering her.
"Seperack!" Elsie shrieked in indignation while Weronika bellowed with laughter.
"Cuz you're fulla shit and that's all that ever comes outta ya either way, either end!" Abyssmare's second vocalist pulled the sleigh like an oversized, overly-excited Polish hound. Rather than a dog, wolf, or bear, though, today, she was a reindeer!
St. Weronikolas was her name, and delivering gifts and Christmas cheer to her three younger siblings was her game! And her three elvish helpers were none other than Neo Lone, Sophia Smith, and Elsie Largo (Elfie on a Shelfie, or as Weronika would say, "Selfie", because of Elsie's intense vanity). Each one held a present in her lap, for one of Weronika's three younger siblings: Mick, Johnathan, and Marie Seperack.
"I s-s-suppose it is true what they say!" Elsie finally tried again to speak up against the biting, howling winter wind to taunt Weronika. "That lesbians cannot drive!" Weronika snorted to herself, not just because Elsie's words were funny, but because they were true, for all of them.
You guys give ME a lotta shit for MY bad driving, but y'all suck too! Pot callin' kettle "black"…
Elsie, however, was not finished. "Honestly, you look like such a tacky loser—even more than usual, I mean—that Elsie is embarrassed just being seen near you! Your vibes are disgusting!" She hissed against the hissing wind, and silently hissed at herself for agreeing to entertain Weronika's little scheme in the first place. But for whatever reason, Neo agreed, and then Sophia of course, and that would've left Elsie as the only Abyssmare member not participating, so… Perhaps Elsie fancied herself a strong and independent young lady, but it was highly debatable in reality.
"Oh, watch it, you Scrooge-haired, Scrooge-hearted, lump of coal!" Weronika snorted again, glancing at the smaller girl's white hair and black fur coat. "Take the L, Elsie, or you'll end up on Santa's Naughty List, and Imma buck you right into the snow!"
The moment Weronika made her threat, Sophia clung to Neo's arm. Neo flinched and ripped away (or at least tried to) but Sophia was fully prepared to be Neo's anchor and defend her with her life in the event Weronika really did try throw any of them out of the sleigh.
Sophia couldn't help but envy Weronika that she got to be the "driver". Elsie was not wrong to criticize her driving, after all. But in the AU where Sophia pulled the sleigh, they still nearly crashed because she was too eager to prove herself a worthy steed/mount to Neo. In that timeline, Neo would go flying from the sleigh with the same bored face and crossed arms as always. Weronika was not wrong to criticize all their driving.
"What are you? The Max to Neo's Grinch?! Your wolf hoodie ears already could be weird antlers!" Weronika would snort-laugh, and Sophia would subsequently threaten to hurl her out of the sleigh for even thinking ofcomparing Neo to the Grinch, let alone actually saying it out loud! Weronika would agree to stop… but only because she wanted to turn the joke on Elsie. Then it would be Elsie's turn to threaten to throw Weronika out of the sleigh, though Sophia would not defend her the way she defended Neo.
Why Neo came along anyway was anyone's guess. Except Neo herself, of course. I merely wish to observe. This amuses me.
Getting to enjoy an up-close and personal view of Weronika acting a fool—as if drunk on eggnog—was the best Christmas gift Neo didn't even know she wanted until Weronika presented the idea. Aside from the sheer ridiculousness of Weronika pulling a sleigh carrying her three, bundled-up unit-mates with a gift in each of their laps, there was also the fact that Weronika was actually dressed as a reindeer while doing it, antlers and all.
Even though Neo did not resort to the type of petty insults and "roasts" Elsie did, Neo had to agree that this was indeed perhaps the tackiest outfit any of them had ever seen the second vocalist of Abyssmare wear,
And the most shameless! Neo hid a smirk behind her usual, icy façade. I wonder, Weronika, what goes on in that little brain of yours to determine where to draw the line? For although anyone could agree that Weronika looked silly, she genuinely thought she looked cool.
"I'm a badass stag! King of the forest!" she declared as she huffed, puffed, and ran through the snow, dragging the others along with her.
"Sh-she f-f-forgot the red nose a-anyway…! T-t-t-to be Rudolph…" Sophia muttered, looking down as she shivered, and not just from the cold.
"Ha! I ain't no loser like Rudolph!" Weronika snorted over her shoulder again. "I don't need no bitch-ass glowing red nose to see MY way through a blizzard! I got it all on my own! I'm Polish!" she cried proudly, head raised high as she bragged, even though the winter wind howled in her face.
Somehow, she managed to push herself even faster, as if she really was trying to fly like a reindeer. The ice made the sleigh lighter, but harder to steer. The next time she rounded a street corner, Elsie and Sophia death-gripped their respective armrests, both looking ill. Somehow, between them, Neo managed to stay perfectly in place, frozen and upright, arms crossed, face as unreadable as always.
ooo
"MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia!" Weronika's voice echoed down the snowy street of New York City. Despite themselves, her unit-mates each had a strong reaction when Weronika came down from her apartment with three little ones in tow. Elsie gasped, eyes widening slowly in awe and surprise. Sophia clutched her armrest again and squealed softly, this time in the same awe and wonder as Elsie, rather than the fear and terror of before. Even Neo's eyes were glued, unblinking, to Mick, Johnathan, and Marie Seperack.
The two boys were older, walking on either side of Weronika. Although Marie was at an age where she could've walked—it was snowing, but there was not much of it—Weronika still carried the little girl on her hip. Once they reached the sleigh…
"Hop in the cart," Neo's face and voice were still flat and cold as she cocked her head sharply, once, to the seats in front of her and her unit-mates.
"It's a sleigh," Weronika corrected with a frown, nose crinkling as she helped her three younger siblings into their row of seats.
Rather than taunt back, Neo only quirked an amused eyebrow as she realized that Weronika was about to take all of them for a sleigh ride.
A-a-all at once?! Sophia's eyes bugged, and she resumed gripping her armrest in terror.
Weronika, however, was unconcerned, flexing and stretching as she retook the reins and picked up the handles of the sleigh again. If any of them fatasses prove too heavy, they can get off and wait at the apartment! she thought of her three unit-mates.
Elsie, meanwhile, replied verbally to taunt Weronika again, of course. "Neo would never say a word as childish as "sleigh", Weronika. You know that!" Her tone was patronizing, meant to be in the defense of Neo, but Weronika only scoffed and shook her head.
"So our diva can't speak words good now?" she mocked Elsie and Neo both. "C'mon, Queen Elsa, I thought you were supposed to be good at singing and letting it go!" With three pairs of young ears now present, Weronika could no longer cuss as she may have wished to.
Even though they—especially Mick, who already cussed when his big sister wasn't around because he thought it was cool—could've handled it, they still snickered at Weronika's "PG jokes". They were embarrassing and stupid—at least Mick, and sometimes Johnathan and Marie, thought—but it was funny watching Weronika and her unit-mates insult and roast each other so mindlessly and incessantly. They just kept going!
"The word "slay" means "kill" anyway," Weronika continued, belaboring the point just to goad Elsie more. "Should be perfect for our edgelord/lady Neo!" Again, she tried to kill two birds with one stone, insulting two unit-mates at once.
Sophia gasped and clutched Neo's arm, scandalized. Neo glanced at her out of the corner of her icy blue eyes, but she did nothing else this time, far too engrossed in the fight unfolding beside and before her. For once, she would allow Sophia's behavior to slide. Another Christmas gift?
"Neo would never say something like "Slay, Queen!" though!" Elsie continued taking Weronika's bait, obvious though it was, and superior though she claimed she was. "And we weren't even talking about that type of sleigh anyway! You know that, Weronika!" She shook her head as she continued to sigh and whine in exasperation at the other girl. She argued on Neo's behalf only partly to show off to Neo. The other reason, as they all knew, was simply an excuse to fight Weronika. It was a rare occasion when Neo didn't mind her name being thrown around in such a manner.
Weronika, meanwhile, shared a private, quiet chuckle with her three siblings. Not only was Elsie extraordinarily stupid—contrary to all of her claims—but it was funny hear her saying "Slay, Queeeen!" in that nasally, drawn-out tone.
Behind the three younger Seperacks, the combative Elsie seated beside her, Neo's mind ran a similar track. Merry Abyssmas to me, is it not?
And in whispered laughter, Mick, Jonathan, and Marie spent the entire, chaotic ride softly singing a Christmas carol they literally made up behind their big sister's back. In the same way Neo considered the entire affair an unexpected Christmas gift to her, so too did Weronika's siblings. She unwittingly blessed them with inspiration, the best gift they didn't even know they wanted until they had it. But now…?
Dashing through the snow, in a Weronika sleigh, through New York we go, bickering all the way! Sophia's freaking out, Elsie is starting fights, and Neo's bored, but we'll ride and sing Abyssmas songs all night! Oh…!
AN: Inspired by the pics of the Abyssmare VAs in that rickshaw where Neo's riding, Weronika's pulling, and Sophia and Elsie are on either side of Neo. Merry Abyssmas, everybody! LOL!