AN: Disclaimer: I don't own That '70s Show. The timeline for T7S is nonsensical, so for the purposes of this story, Season 1's "The Best Christmas Ever" occurred in 1976, and both Season 3's "Hyde's Christmas Rager" (ignore any Eric/Donna moments) and Season 4's "An Eric Forman Christmas" covered events around Christmas in 1977, with Eric and Donna being broken up and Kelso and Jackie nearing the end of their relationship . Season 6's "Christmas" and Season 7's "Winter" both concerned Christmas 1978, with Eric and Donna being engaged and Jackie and Hyde being a couple. For 1978, Donna and Eric are back together after Eric left Donna at the altar. Also, in this timeline, Jackie is somewhat more socially observant than in canon. As this story is told from two different first-person perspectives, Eric and Jackie (obviously) won't see emotions, events, and their friendship in the same way. Rated M for language throughout and, in Chapter 6, mentions of imprisonment, slight incest, and psychological trauma. I know it's a bit early to start a Christmas story, but I want to publish a chapter a week, and, this way, I can finish the week of Christmas.

Jackie

I was walking to the outside of the doors of the Basement. The Christmas Pageant had gone well, even with Michael's whining about Christmas cartoons and being a space-wiseman. Yea, I know it probably wasn't all that realistic of me to demand that the Virgin Mary ride a unicorn, but they're soooo cute and graceful. Just a weird day…I mean, Leo, that dirty gross old hippie actually called us out. Okay, maybe it wasn't right for the Gang to tie up Pastor Dave or drive Eric into quitting being the director. Something he said really got to me-Eric was the only one of us with a real moral core, and it made me feel bad. Eric and I haven't really ever gotten along. Okay, he was really supportive when I thought Michael got me pregnant, and he treated Donna the way I wish Michael would treat me, and he did agree with me with how weird the friendship between Mrs. Forman and Donna was, but…we really should be better friends, and I guess I have some thinking to do about him.

Anyway, I was going to the Basement to look for Michael and see what he's doing. Probably watching one of those stupid cartoons he was whining about today.

I opened the door and walked in. No one here. Just like the rest of this town, it might have had crickets chirping in the background. I then heard groaning or moaning or something. It seemed to be coming from Steven's room.

I opened the door, and there was Michael.

Then, there was Laurie with her head sticking out of the covers.

After so many similar instances in the past, something that had been building up finally just broke inside me, then and there. Even with my anger flowing, I was suddenly trapped in a deadly calm. Somehow, I could feel myself pushing open the door and walking out without a fuss, even though inside, I was still an angry mess.

"Jackie…it's not what it looks like…"

Finally, the anger snapped me back to my senses, and I screamed, "IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH ERIC'S WHORE OF A SISTER!"

"No, I said it's NOT what it looks like!" Michael replied. I started walking out again. What did I ever see in that idiot?!

I walked back to the main room in the Basement in a daze to find Eric and Steven there with quizzical looks on their faces.

Michael had followed me out, wearing a shirt and underwear and carrying his pants. The bitch was right behind him. Of course, the bitch was following right behind him. "Jackie…."

"After ALL the chances I gave you, after forgiving you SO MANY TIMES…."

Steven looked angry now-Michael had been doing this in his bed after all. That's all it was, he didn't care anything about me. Our date last year did fizzle out after all. Eric looked horrified, which surprised me-I thought he'd use it to try to Burn me, then again, he hates Laurie even more than me...

"Kelso, get out before I do a Red impression!"

"You're gonna shave your head and mindlessly bark orders?" replied Michael, being surprisingly smart-assed for once. Eric was trying to briefly stifle a laugh before going back to his horrified expression.

"No, Kelso, it's the one where I put my foot up your ass!"

"Okay, bye!" said Michael fearfully, given Eric's never-before-seen angry expression, before he started to walk to the door.

For a moment, even I forgot my anger, surprised at Eric's expression. I had never seen him get this close to rage before. It's usually just smartass comments and general mocking. For the first time, he seemed to be his father's son.

I'd regained my composure and said, "Michael?" He stopped.

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully as I strolled over to him.

It was then that I kicked him in the boy parts as hard as I could. He screamed. And Steven and Eric said "Oooh," sympathetically. I couldn't care less how much it hurt; in fact, I hoped it would sting for him all the way home.

I then walked up to Laurie and said, "Despite already kicking your sorry ass that you can't seem to stay off of, you seem to think you can have sex with my boyfriend whenever you want…"

"I'm still…?" croaked Michael.

"No," I replied.

"I guess I'll just have to find someone who won't have sex with you, Laurie."

She started laughing-I understood the implication, that every guy wants a whore. Hmmm…I got it…I know one who won't succumb to her "charms," for more than one reason.

I looked over at Eric, who was leaning on the back of the couch. "Here's one." I walked over to him and said to Laurie, "Seduce this!" I then put my hands around Eric's neck, leaned into him, and kissed him deeply. It was a lot better than I thought. Who knew a scrawny nerd had it in him?

Michael indignantly screeched. Someone coughed aloud. I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Eric's wide-eyed expression. I looked over to see Steven pretending to cough and trying to be zen, Laurie trying to be both angry and sickened at the same time, and Michael, on the floor, cradling his crotch, not really listening to us.

"What the hell is going on down here?!" asked Mr. Forman as he walked down the indoor basement steps.

When he reached the bottom of the steps, he prompted, ominously, "Sooooo…."

Considering I'd done most of it, and he liked me the best anyway, and considering the fact that I was well past caring, I walked up to him and said, "Mr. Forman, I was trying to find Michael…and I found him in Steven's bedroom…with Laurie." I was surprised-Mr. Forman, Steven, and Eric looked ready to kill. "I then kicked Michael and kissed a guy that I know Laurie won't seduce."

For a second, Mr. Forman chuckled, which, for him was actually more terrifying, He then yelled,"Kelso, GET OUT!" Michael left the Basement with Laurie following meekly behind. Mr. Forman called after her, "We'll talk later, Laurie," in an alarming tone. He then looked at Steven, "Go wash your sheets." Steven then left to get his sheets. He paused a second before looking at me, "Jackie, you're certainly my favorite of my dumbass son's friends. You can hold a flashlight…You can do better than Eric…" he gestured toward Eric before continuing, "but if you want to date him, you have my blessing." He then walked back up the stairs, muttering obscenities to himself. Both of us were standing in shock.

Steven came back in, strenuously trying to avoid looking both of us in the eye as he put his sheets in the washing machine. Still looking at the floor he said, "Gonna go see if Leo needs me at the Fotohut. Bye." Then he left the Basement and closed the door.

"Wow…" said Eric.

"Yeah," I said.

"You kicked Kelso in the balls!" said Eric, laughing.

"Yep, I did," I laughed right back.

"Please don't ever do that to me."

"Relax, Nerd Boy, if I wanted to do that, you'd have been more feminine than the lumberjack long ago."

"Sadly true," he replied. "So what do we do now, devil?"

"So, first of all, I need to apologize. I'm, sorry, Eric. I know you were trying to do a good job on the play, and we messed it up."

"Wow, a Jackie Burkhart apology…"

"I know…almost as rare as Eric Forman having se.."

"Some things never change," replied Eric, with a rueful grin.

After a pause, I shot back, "Secondly, well, Star Wars boy, you surprised me, you actually are a pretty good kisser."

"You're not too bad yourself. So…I can't believe I'm saying this, but I guess we could try going on a date sometime?" said Eric, jokingly, as he sat on the couch.

Really, Eric, you aren't my type..not physically, but those green eyes, and you aren't a cheater, and you're into being in a serious relationship…

I started nodding in mock sincerity, but the more I thought about it…could I really go on a date with Eric Forman and enjoy myself?I finally replied, "Considering I just broke up with Michael, I think I need some time, yeah, but maybe some day. Maybe, in the meantime, we could try to be better friends first? The hippie really got to me about you today…"

With a puzzled expression, Eric asked, "What did Leo say?"

"Well, it was right after you left the pageant…Steven and Michael had tied Pastor Dave to a chair with Christmas lights…" I spat his name.

"Okay, I'm not all that religious, but that's messed up…"

"Tell me about it. Maybe you should have been my guru instead of Steven."

"Only if you're into the whole Jedi thing."

"Ha ha. Anyway, Leo said that we'd brought him to tears because of how we'd treated you, and that you were the only one of us with a moral core."

"Score one for Red's parenting!" Eric said sarcastically, which brought a grin to my face.

"Eric…" I said in mock seriousness as I sat next to him on the couch.

"Seriously, Eric, I know your dad is too strict, but look at the rest of us-he's too lenient with Laurie, and…"

"Say no more," replied Eric.

But I continued anyway, "Fez's host parents are jerks, Steven's parents abandoned him, Michael's parents don't care because he has six siblings, Donna's parents acted like five-year-olds even before their divorce…"

"Hey, because of that, I got to lose my virg.."

"I know, but the effect on Donna…" I said, remembering her desperate cries for attention, like that cigarette thing. We may not get along most of the time, but I respect Eric for taking the blame…it was so romantic, like Steven and that "film" I got from my housekeeper.

"Okay, okay."

"And then there's my parents…"

"What's with them? I thought they were like a rich lawyer and a…socialite?"

"Daddy's a city councilman too, so he has no time for me, and my mom…"

"What about your mom?"

"Let's put it this way. Remember how your mom tried to teach me how to bake a pie for my home economics class?"

"Yeah."

"My mom would teach me how to make a White Russian and how to hit on a rich divorcee."

"Okaaaaay…Our moms have drinking in common, at least," said Eric, sympathetically.

"Eric, that's the only thing they have in common."

"Ouch, sorry."

"I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be. It's not right."

"Thanks." Eric and me being nice to each other. Wow.

"Wanna watch TV?"

"Sure. You know, Eric, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"And I'm a Jedi."

"You wish."

Sigh. "We'll see, Midget, we'll see."