The Tower was quiet.
It unnerved Beast Boy. He had grown so used to the constant noise of everyone going about their business. Even if he wasn't in the room with him, he was used to hearing them through the walls with his enhanced hearing. However, it was too quiet with everyone but Raven gone from the Tower.
He plunged his hand into the couch cushions.
"Right where I left you." He fished out his Titan's communicator. He flipped open the circular yellow device and checked for any message left by his teammates. "Nothing," he mumbled to himself.
He was alone…
On the bright side, his isolation would only last until sundown, when Starfire planned to return home. However, he had a full day to burn until then and had already gotten tired of playing the Gamestation yesterday. It would be a long day ahead of him….
The loneliness would be easier if Raven ever cared to leave her room and talk. Yet, Beast Bot knew that was not her. She was more than likely in her room reading some ancient journal or, even better, some romance novel in her room at this hour. He had seen her sneaking those into her room before. The glare she sent him kept him quiet about that one, no matter how much he wanted to tease her. There was always a line with Raven when it came to joking around. Beast Boy had learned that the hard way.
As a matter of fact, he had learned a lot of things about Raven over the past years of fighting crime by her side and by living in the same Tower as her. Where this eery silence of the Tower bothered him, he knew she was at peace. Where he craved companionship, she hid in the solitude of her soul. Where he gourged his heart out on sweet and sugary, she nibbled on salty and savory. Where he would jump into danger to protect his teammates, she would push someone away to safety.
They were day and night.
However, people always say opposites attract.
Right?
Beast Boy picked up the Gamestation controller once more. It felt heavy in his hands, but he powered on the console nonetheless. He would give the boss-fight he was stuck on one last chance. From the start screen to the fight, he bit his lip in concentration. If he could brag to Cyborg once he got back that he finally beat the boss…. Cyborg would finally have to admit that Beast Boy was better.
So, the shapeshifter button mashed as if the force behind pressing the button would carry over to the power at which the monkey in the game would punch with. He dodged every hit as if one hit alone would restart the whole game. He tried his absolute best to play the level perfectly, but as the failure screen flashed before his eyes for a seventh time, he wilted into the couch. He could not even do half the health bar, and he was trying his best….
He stared at the defeat screen. The red words mocked his efforts….
The screen went black as he powered everything off. He wasn't playing his best because he had no one to perform for. That was all. He totally would've beaten it if Cy or Star were around.
He just needed someone to hang out with, and he would be fine. He needed Raven…
Beast Boy sat up from his slump. His eyes peeked over the back of the couch to the elevator that could take him down to her domain. He could totally lure her out for a movie. He would need to grab the dark chocolate pretzels from his cabinet for her, though. That would be enough to keep her content, and then he would also be content in her presence. It was a win-win situation.
Yeah, he liked this idea.
The changeling stood up, morphed into a bird, and flew into the kitchen. Unmorphing, he reached into the back of his personal cabinet. He was running low on Raven snacks, but he had enough to lure her out for a few hours. It would be long enough for Starfire to replace her as his companion in this time of loneliness.
Maybe I should get a dog? Beast Boy thought to himself. It would help with being alone. Then I have to clean up after it and bathe it…. He frowned. Or I can just continue to bother Raven.
He quickly made his way to the elevator, opening the doors with a press of a button, and started the lift to move down towards the dorm level. The doors opened to the long hallway, which was only decorated by metal sliding doors. A cool draft from down the hallway hit him as he took the first step out of the elevator. Goosebumps blossomed upon his green skin.
Beast Boy took a breath, calming his body and mind. There was no reason for the chills. He had done this song and dance with Raven a million times before. It was always the third knock that won her over. It was how it always was. He had no reason to be uneased by the hall's shadows or the grand distance between him and her door.
He exhaled, readjusting his grip on the snacks, and stepped forward. One foot after another, he found his way outside her metal door. A post-it note met his gaze at his level.
Don't even knock once, it read.
However, Beast Boy never cared to comprehend what he read. He knocked as fast as he could.
Ten continuous bangs rang out throughout the hall.
Muffled from within, Raven shouted, "Leave me alone!"
Classic Raven.
"Open the door, Rae Rae," Beast Boy sing-songed back.
And the door did open.
"Don't call me that," she snarled, a miasma of blackened energy swirling around her feet from the edges of her cloak. "Now, leave me alone."
"But, Rae, there is a movie on upstairs."
"Don't care."
The doors slid shut.
Round two. Beast Boy thought as he raised his hand once more.
He knocked as fast as he could.
The doors began to open, and he began speaking, "Toil. Toil. Something about trouble, come with me, and we can watch that movie about McBeth."
"It's 'Double, double toil and trouble.' And it is Macbeth by Shakespeare. I've already seen and read it." She droned, her head falling to the side, exasperated.
"So, is that a no?"
The door slid shut again.
Beast Boy frowned. The third knock always worked until it didn't…. It would seem she wasn't in the mood for games today, but that was fine. It was totally fine. He could handle a little more alone time.
"Sorry," he started, dejected that his attempt didn't even make it off the ground. "I'll just leave the snacks at your door, then. Grab it whenever. I'll be on the couch if you, you know, wanna chill. I wouldn't mind the company. It would be pretty cool to, y'know, hang out and stuff…. So, uh, yeah... bye?"
The green Titan waited a moment on the other side of the door, hoping for a miracle that she would open it, but he knew better. She didn't respond, and she wouldn't either. She probably didn't even hear him talk back just now. After all, Raven always did speak of her skill of tuning him out. He tried not to take it personally as he returned to the elevator and eventually the defeat screen.
:P LINE BREAK d:
Beast Boy woke on the couch, drool seeping out of his mouth and onto the cushion.
Oops. He wiped it away before he sat up to stretch.
After leaving Raven behind, he went back to the common room, lost a few rounds on the Gamestation, and promptly fell asleep in the sun like a cat in a window.
At some point, noon had shifted to afternoon.
Beast Boy looked around and sniffed the air. Raven had not come to the main room to join him at all. The last of the lavender and incense he could smell in the air was faint from her early morning routine of tea and granola.
He let the air from his lungs leave him in a slow exhale.
Maybe he should have listened to Robin when he suggested everyone take a few days to themselves. He could have visited the Doom Patrol, seen Rita briefly, and relaxed with Cliff and Larry. But that primal part of him that craved a pack didn't want Raven to be left alone. So, he stayed just in case she wanted to be around someone. He knew rationally that she wouldn't. He really did, but he stayed just in case… for her.
Yet, as he stood alone in the common room, he wished he had left like the others did.
The green changeling reached for his Titan's communicator that peeked out from the couch cushions. He flipped it open to see one new message from the team's resident alien.
"I shall be home soon, friends." Sent by Starfire one hour ago.
Star would have sent that a little after he fell asleep. Realistically, she could be home at any point…. He looked out the giant windows that overlooked the sea and horizon. No distant green star was rapidly approaching his location. She would be home soon, then.
The growling from his stomach pulled him from the sea as he meandered to the kitchen. His feet found himself before the fridge, but his nose began to twitch.
He could smell her. The distorted smell of lavender lingered from where she had used her powers. She had done it in front of the fridge, but he did not pick her scent up anywhere else in the room or the conjoining common room.
He opened the fridge. His eyes fell to her shelf of "Raven-only" products. She had been here recently. She teleported straight to the refrigerator, grabbed whatever she wanted, and left without ever crossing his path in the common room.
She avoided me. He realized.
Beast Boy frowned. An unease in his throat hid the pain in his heart as he stepped away from the fridge. Appetite lost, he found himself in the elevator. The doors opened to the floor where Raven was. The sweets he left her were gone.
So she'll take from me but not give back to me?
A shiver ran across his spine, and he felt a chill enter his bones.
His forehead landed on her door with a soft thud. He could hear her humming to herself. It was peaceful, her voice, that is. It was gentle and warm. It was the side of Raven that she hid within the confines of her walls. It was the side of her he wanted her to be around him.
It was the Raven he silently knew. The Raven who thought herself alone and comfortable, unknowing that his enhanced hearing allowed him to eavesdrop on her personal moments. Was it wrong of him to do? Probably, but he did it regardless. He had done it for years now. He had heard her argue with herself. He had listened to her cry as he walked past her room, and he would struggle not to break down her walls and hug her. He had heard her scream in the night, awakening from nightmares, before she went to calm down with a late-night cup of tea. He always made an effort to find time to get a late-night snack to make sure she was okay.
He wished he knew the Raven behind the walls.
He just knew the Raven outside the walls.
The one that was hot and cold. The one that pretended not to be his friend. The one who pretended she was above the world's problems beneath her hood. The one who stuck to her daily routines and practices. The one who never wasted a word and was always assured of herself.
He fell forward.
Raven's door had opened, and he was now face first on her carpet floors.
"What are you moping about outside my room for?"
Beast Boy looked up from the floor to see her in her bed, cross-legged, floating, and holding a book.
"I was, umm." He looked around for an excuse. "I was bored?"
"I'm an empath, not stupid. What are you moping about?"
Beast Boy only stared at her from the floor. He didn't expect the door to open. He didn't expect to speak to her or to confess his troubles, that he wished she would just be there for him, even if it were only a few hours until Starfire came home. The primal part of him, the social creatures of him, just needed someone after being alone for three days, and it couldn't wait any longer.
He didn't want to be alone anymore….
"Movie?" The words tumbled from his lips weakly.
"Leave," she sighed and turned back to her book.
"Right. Sorry." He pushed himself to his feet and brushed off the nonexistent dust from his chest. "Sorry, I'm asking too much from you. After all, I wouldn't want to cut into your brooding time." He ignored the stare that came his way. He had seen it a million times before. "I'm sure Romeo in whatever book you read is more important than me."
"You done?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe."
"Good. Then leave."
"What if I don't want to leave."
"I'll make you."
"Sure you will. What will you do, threaten to banish me into another realm again?" he taunted.
"No. I would dump you into the sea so you can wake up and stop moping in my room."
"I'm not moping!"
"Well, you sure aren't smiling either."
"Do you not like me, Raven?" he asked, his eyes finding his feet.
"You are annoying. You are loud. You are a one-boy circus. No, that isn't a compliment. You only ever get hurt while we fight, which makes you a liability that I always have to heal. You complain about everything. Don't even get me started on your jokes."
"You could've just said you didn't like me. I think that would have hurt less."
"I figured a list would be better so you hear what you need to change about yourself to improve."
He felt his eyes moisten, "I-I…"
"Just leave already."
"Yeah, okay."
His vision blurred as he heard the door slide shut behind him. The faint humming returned, unbothered by the words just spoken.
A hiccup escaped his lungs as he forced himself to move away from the door. He needed to be away from her.
He needed fresh air.
:P LINE BREAK d:
The ocean lapped at the rocks around him. A steady, consistent noise that he could attune his ears to and forget the world around him. A noise that could drown out his own sniffling and hiccups. Here, amongst the water, his salty tears were just another drop amongst the endless span of the sea.
On the same rocks he mourned for Terra, he was free from the burden of reality and his thoughts. He was just the sea, lapping at the sand.
He sat there as time began to pass. At some point, the zen-like ambiance lulled him to sleep as the sun started to set on the distant horizon.
"Oh, sleepy head, wakey-wakey," Starfire sing-songed. "Beastie Boy."
"Hmmm?" He moaned as he opened his eyes to the light that stabbed his eyes from around the silhouette of his teammate. She was bent over before him, her fiery hair nearly touching the ground, unlike her feet. "Oh, hey, Star. You're back," he mumbled.
"What are you doing out here?" Starfire asked, confused as she hovered above the ground. She must be in a good mood, but when was she not?
"Oh, you know, just catching some sunlight," he lied, trying his best to force a natural smile. "Just usual me things."
Starfire cocked her head to the side and spared the setting sun a glance, "I did not know you also partook in the bathing of the sun."
"Yeah. It's a new thing." He lied. "Decided to start it while you guys were away."
"Then you must join me now that I have returned. We can bathe in the sun every day."
"Umm, sure?" he winced. Did I just dig myself a hole?
He moved to stand but almost fell over. The static prickling in his legs told him his legs were still asleep and not ready to be used.
"Are you okay, Friend Beast Boy?"
"Yeah. Legs are asleep. I'll just need a moment before I can walk on them."
"I shall carry you then." She scooped him up before he could say a word in protest.
"I can walk on my own, Star," he whined, weakly flailing in her arms.
"Nonsense, the silly goosey. I have got you."
Beast Boy struggled twice inside her iron-tight grip, but all he managed to do was nestle himself closer to Starfire. She was warm, like a heater, but she wasn't burning to touch. She was cozy and warm, like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter night. The cat in him couldn't help but cuddle into her arms.
"Comfortable?" she smiled down at him, and he could only blush as he nodded back. "Where to, my green friend?"
"A movie, my orange friend?" he smiled weakly, afraid of rejection even though he knew Starfire loved watching movies.
"Superb!" she rocketed off the ground and to the roof. Again, she landed but never let her feet touch the ground. "I have heard there is a movie with the Brendan of Fraser wherein he must fight a mummy. Can we watch that one?"
A splitting smile formed on Beast Boy's face, "That sounds like a lovely time, Star. Let's do it."
AN: Rewrite time!
Yes, this is going to follow the same overall idea of DESIDERIUM. However, I'm swapping up some things to make it feel different while still delivering the original idea I wanted to tell. This idea means a lot to me, and the Titan characters are some of my favorite in all fiction. I want this to be good, so I will make it the best I can.
If you are a returning reader from the Original, I hope you enjoy this story way more than what came before. If you are new, don't spoil yourself by reading the Original. I really appreciate it if you came from my other stories and made it this far. I realize that Teen Titan fics are not what my general audience is. However, DC Comics is a very special thing for me, so it will always be what I want to write about at the end of the day.
That's about it.
-Manke