A\N: Please continue spreading awareness about Palestine, Congo and Sudan and calling for a permanent and lasting ceasefire. Check out free palestine, free congo and free sudan hashtags on social media
—
Arizona Robbins was not jealous. Was not. Wasn't. Absolutely. Not in the slightest. She was just worried for another person. Empathy. She didn't really have the right to be jealous anyway. Callie had made that crystal clear. No right to be angry either. Maybe only at her damn self for how much she still needed the person, standing next to her in a dress she'd never seen before.
The dress looked really good. Arizona allowed herself that thought for the second time that day even though she really shouldn't have. Then again, she very much shouldn't have kissed Callie either.
Yet she still did. Because Nicole was awake. And Callie was there. And Callie cared enough to come and tell Arizona she was happy for her. And Arizona was kind of a mess, her brain numbed by a strong mix of sadness, relief and months' worth of exhaustion. So she surged forward and kissed her ex-wife. Spontaneity turning into desperation for the few seconds when the kiss was returned.
They never talked about it. Heather spoke louder than any words though.
Arizona's cheeks were starting to hurt from the stupid cheerful smile.
The ride was going agonizingly slow too, the elevator crawling at a snail's speed. Or maybe it was the concentration to not glance at Callie, not even so much as tilt her head in that direction, that was making the seconds stretch.
"Arizona?"
"Yea–" Arizona cleared her throat. "Yeah?"
"Are you sure you want to keep Sofia tomorrow?"
"Why wouldn't I?" she frowned, eyeing Callie questioningly.
"Well… with Nicole getting discharged tomorrow I thought you would want to…" Callie trailed off as Arizona's eyes grew more and more confused.
"Wait, what?"
"Owen said something about it today. I honestly thought you knew."
"I…" Arizona's eyes flew shut momentarily, head spinning a little. She didn't know. Nicole hadn't been very talkative as her new reality settled in. So Arizona talked more to her nurses or to Amelia. "She was supposed to go to the Blind Institute next week. Guess she moved it. To my day off," she concluded gravely, a loaded silence falling between them.
"I'm sorry…" Callie offered awkwardly.
Arizona nodded absentmindedly at the sentiment, overwhelmed by a swarm of heavy thoughts, a particular one standing out – she couldn't just let it go now that she knew. She needed to reach out one last time, to say goodbye.
"I…" She glanced up at the floors, lighting up one after the other. The daycare was next. "I need to talk to her."
Callie didn't say anything at first. It wasn't her place to worry about Arizona anymore, and she'd repeated that to herself at least a dozen times that day alone. Arizona didn't really need words to gather, that she thought it wasn't a good idea.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," the elevator dinged, letting in a stream of white coats. "Yeah, I just need to do it." Arizona nodded to herself, maneuvering between them, Callie left to look after her with a knowing expression. Knowing that was not going to end well.
—
Nicole was lying in bed, her hospital room lit dimly, chest rising and falling tranquilly, so Arizona hesitated at the door, almost sliding it closed at some point.
"In or out, Robbins."
Holding in a surprised noise, Arizona came in, stopping hesitantly at the foot of the bed.
"You know, I've never noticed your perfume before. Is this Hello Kitty?"
"No," Arizona shook her head with a quiet chuckle.
"Hm. Did you want something?"
"Well, I…" Arizona fell silent, searching for the right words.
"C'mon, Robbins, I'm not living on borrowed time anymore but I still hate wasting it."
Arizona sighed, bracing herself. "You are leaving tomorrow."
"Did you steal medical records again?"
"No. Owen told me," Arizona lied. She didn't want to, but Nicole definitely wouldn't let it go if she confessed Callie was the messenger. Instead she frowned distastefully, muttering something under her breath.
"Anyway, yes, I'm," she said louder.
"Alright," Arizona nodded to herself. "You know, I could… come see you off, if you want."
"Robbins, that's unnecessary," Nicole huffed, her features hardening a little.
"Or we could talk–."
"Robbins! I get the whole 'all my friends are her friends' thing but at some point you've got to let go!"
The blonde recoiled, face burning as if from a sharp slap. Nicole's words hang in the air, weighing heavily on Arizona's chest. She opened her mouth and closed it again, fighting with the tightness in her throat.
"I'm gonna… go," she managed to squeeze out of herself, turning around.
She ended up in the lounge, which had gradually become her little safe space. She needed that right now. That and the almost supernatural comfort of the stolen couch.
In a few minutes she would go to daycare, get the warmest hug ever and tomorrow they would spend the day making some DIY thing.
"Hey…"
Reddened blue eyes flew open and Arizona blinked rapidly before looking at Callie's figure leaning against the doorframe.
"Are you… alright?"
Arizona turned her head slowly, no idea what to answer, when her eyes stumbled over the novelty of the dress, throat tightening once again.
"Why?"
Callie blinked, taken aback by the bluntness.
"Well, you told me about Steak Knives," she said awkwardly. Right, because they were just pals now, occasionally caring about each other. "I told you about Nicole. And I–"
-I-I worry about you. I know I shouldn't, I know it's none of my business, but, uh, old habits.
Arizona knew she couldn't stomach this right now. Not when Callie was so clearly and eagerly moving on, while she was still stuck, sitting in the therapist's office, her whole life crumbling into pieces around her, the only difference being a far more comfortable couch. Not when Nicole's words were still so raw in her mind.
"She's not dying anymore."
"What?"
"She's not dying," Arizona shrugged. "She's awake. So you don't have to worry about me anymore."
As a thousand different emotions flashed through Callie's eyes, Arizona couldn't help but think she must have looked kind of the same merely half an hour ago. The realization came with a pinch of guilt.
She didn't have time to act on it, let alone, process the feeling as Callie had made her lips into a thin line and took a step back.
"The daycare project is due in two days."
"I know."
"Great." Callie turned around as sharply as she had uttered the word. As she disappeared into the hall, Arizona went limp on the couch, raking her fingers through her hair.
To the left of the fucking point.
—
"Sure you don't want to come in?" Alex asked for the second time that morning. "Miss rug rat and I can hang out for a few hours, right?"
"Right!" Sofia beamed at him with her toothy grin.
Looking up to give him the same answer as before Arizona frowned momentarily as half an apple disappeared into Alex's mouth.
"It's fine, Alex. I'll just… talk to her later," she said, the frown deepening. "Also correct me if I'm wrong but you wouldn't finish this, would you?" she added in a lighter tone.
"What exactly is this?" Alex tilted his head quizzically, taking in whatever was happening on the kitchen table.
"Does Wilson know your bread has molded again?" Arizona wondered casually, causing Alex to choke a little.
"I'm out of here," saluting them with the remainder of his apple, he fled the kitchen.
Shaking her head, Arizona winked at Sofia and reached for the glue stick.
"Mama?" she heard a few minutes later.
"Yeah?"
"I made you a crown!" Sofia lifted a glittery piece of paper so Arizona could see a faint drawing.
"Wow! C'mon, let's cut it out!"
"Yay!" Sofia clapped her tiny hands and hopped down from the chair, climbing into her mother's lap. With Arizona's hand carefully guiding the scissors, they soon cut through all the lines. Applying some glue, Arizona held up an end so Sofia could press the other one to it. Once it was put together, Sofia took it upon herself to carry out the coronation.
"Don't take it off, Mama!"
"Okay," Arizona conceded easily, tucking a strand of hair behind Sofia's ear.
And the crown did stay on for the better part of the day, falling off only after Arizona had dozed off in the chair while rocking Sofia to sleep. At first she thought it landing on the floor with a soft thud was what had woken her up.
But then she heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Frowning because she knew for sure both Alex and Jo had their own keys and because there was now a wet spot where Sofia had been lying on her chest, Arizona tucked her in and managed to get downstairs in just two more rings. Her phone started buzzing too, sparking a shadow of panic in the back of her head.
Forwarding Callie's call to voicemail, Arizona opened the door, coming face to face with… well, a very distraught looking Callie.
"Um… hey," she looked between the phone in her hand and the woman in front of her in confusion. "Did something happen?" she asked, stepping back so Callie could come in. "Sofia is already asleep."
When Callie didn't say anything Arizona took her in with more attention. She looked undeniably sad and worried, almost like she was sorry about something. That didn't make any sense, especially after yesterday, throwing Arizona off even more.
"Is Sofia asleep?"
"Yeah, I… I've just said that."
"Right." Callie nodded, still looking at her as if she was going to fall apart any second.
"Callie, what's going on?"
—
A little bit ahead in terms of chapters on AO3: /works/49609279/chapters/125210338
comments are more than welcome and greatly appreciated!