Yo! What up gamers and non-gamers! Time for your Christmas present, more The Eli Cut ALFALFA Edition!
Reviews:
NebulaDude: Thank you for the glowing review, fellow alpha male Nebula
Gman5846: Well, you know gman, I'd have to respectfully disagree with you on that point. You know, I think in a sort of satirical and Dadaist sense, when stripped down to the bare essentials of his character, Duncan IS a baby. He is very emotionally immature, does things for short term pleasure, and disregards others for his own gain. So, I will have to disagree with you respectfully.
Guest: What are you talking about my fanfic is very serious and not a joke at all.
Poppleton: Thank you for the epic review, fellow alpha poppleton
Uglyfense: Holy shit, it's my father figure and icon, Uglyfense!
TDcollb: I know, I am
Derick Lindsay: Yeah, Zee being the chad Barney will certainly make him popular! And yeah, Duncan the baby screwed up really bad! Even Sparemy did better than him! Also, Alfalfa is a reference to Rippers iconic line "BOOM! Nobody messes with an alfalfa male!"
Review time over
"Last time on Total Drama Domination!" Chef recapped on the dock. "The contestants jumped off the iconic Total Drama cliff, then build a hot tub or something idk. Duncan then pooped in the guys hot tub and was voted out for it! Who will go out next, find out on TOTAL! DRAMA! DOMINATION!"
(Intro)
The episode opened on Chef picking up a megaphone. "Testing!" he said, as just then, he had a delightfully devious idea. He grabbed another one of his megaphones and put them together. "Testing!" he said as the megaphones produced a louder noise. "hmm." Chef said, evily.
Chef then set up all twenty of his megaphones in a single file line. Just then, a fly flew past the microphone, making a loud buzzing noise. "Hehehe." Chef laughed, as he went up to the megaphones.
"TESTI-"
As he said that, the megaphones let out a ear shattering sound, breaking all the glass in the camp and waking up all the campers on the island.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHBUYTWFGBVBGYGVVW" Cameron said as he exploded on the floor and farted.
"Time for the challenge cucks!' Chef said.
The conestants were outside.
"Ok the challenge is too run to the mess hall onyourmarkgetsetgo!" Chef said as all the contestants run
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Sparemy was running pathetically and lamely, then Amy came up to her.
"Hey Sparemy! Since your being useless you can carry me to the mess hall!" Amy said, as she jumped on her back, which caused Sparemy pain.
"And carry me too!" Dakota said as she also jumped on her back, making it harder for useless loser Sparemy to carry them.
"Yeah, my great great great great great cousin Marcus invented Sparemy carrying people, before then people had to walk themselves." Sraci said, as she alos hoped on Sparemy.
"Snoo PINGUS usual I see, sparemy!" Kitty said epicly, as she also jumped on Sparemy
(Confessional)
Dakota: God Sparemy is so usless, she can't even carry multiple people on her back without crying!
Meanwhile with the boys, Ripper was beating up Cody for no reason.
"STOP BEATING ME UP CHAD! YOU JOCKS ALWAYS PICK ON NICE GUYS LIKE ME!" Cody said like a redditor.
"Shut up nerd!" Ripper said as he punched Cody in the Cody balls.
"Woah, is it national beat-up Cody day?" Zee asked, wearing his iconic "I Hate Cody" shirt.
"Sure is Zee!" Ripper said. "Wanna have a turn beating him up?"
"Sure." Zee said, as he beat up Cody
(Confessionals)
Ripper: Nerds like Cody need to be beaten up, or else they might start to think that it's ok to use reddit, or to listen to Weezer! Hahahaha ITS NOT!
Zee: Breakfast Soda
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The scene cut to the Mess Hall, where all the boys had made it. The door then opened to reveal Sparemy carrying all of her teammates into the Mess Hall, and doing a bad job at it.
"Ugh, great job Sparemy!" Amy said. "Thanks to you we lost the challenge! All the other girls who I am not like at all then beat up Sparemy.
"Hold your horses campers!" Chef said. It then cut to Lightning holding two small horses in his arms.
"That was just the first part of the challenge! Here's the second part! The feast!" Chef then pulled back the Wizard of Oz curtain to reveal 823794283724974378573784 Dino Nuggies.
Everyone at all the food except for these smart campers.
(Confessional)
Sam: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Lightning: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Scott: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Ripper: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Zee: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Chase: The food was meant to make us more sleepy for the awake a thon. I know this because I'm smart!
Everyone ate all the food and was now fat, except Owen, who turned skinny.
"Alright! Time for the next part of the challenge! The awake-a-thon!" Chef said Chefly.
"DUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRR WHATS AN AWAKEOTHON?" Carrie said like the useless piece of garbage she is.
"The Awake-a-thon? More like the a-fart-a-thon!" Ripper said as he farted, making everyone laugh at his funny joke.
"You have to not sleep, challenge starts at the campfire!" Chef said.
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The campers were at the Campfire pit as the challenge had just started.
"DUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM TOO STUPID TO STAY AWAKE!" Carrie said, as she feel asleep like an idiot.
Meanwhile, Sam was playing the greatest video game in the world, Donkey Kong 64 for the Nintendo 64, with fellow gamer bros Lightning, Scott, Ripper, Zee and Chase watching him in amazment.
"Man, Donkey Kong 64 sure is based!" Sam said correctly
"You telling me! Look at all those Sha Golden Bananas!" Lightning said, mesmerized by the games stunning banana features.
"And you get to play as up to five different kongs?! Each with their own unique set of abilities and powerups?! That's just bananas!" Chase said.
"And just look at the graphics on Chunky Kong!" Ripper said. "That must have taken years to get down ti that level of detail.
"Dude's this I truly the greatest video game ever made and will ever be made." Zee said, as he drank his Donkey Kong 64 soda.
"Yeah!" Scott correctly agreed. "Anyone who hates this game should be beat up and killed!"
"Agreed!" They all said in unison.
"Guys wait!" Sam said, as he had a genius idea. "We are like the most based members of our team, right?"
"Right!" The five other alpha Kong's agreed.
"So I don't we create an allaince together so we all end up in the final six!" Sam said brilliantly.
"Dude, that would rule!" Lightning said, high fiving his bro Sam.
"That be even more epic than that farting on the homeless prank I did!" Chase said
"I'm in!" Ripper said
"Me too!" Zee said
"As am I!" Scott said.
"Great! We'll be the Sigma Gamer alliance!"
(Confessinoal)
Sam: Man, It's always great to be on a team of gamers and not a team of filithy disgusting redditors, like that loser idiot No Carb Man, who is my arch nemisis!
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It has now been 24 hours and no one except Carrie has fallen asleep yet.
"Listen up Campers!" Chef announced. "Since non of you are falling asleep, I'll have to take drastic measures. That's why I'm bringing out... Uglyfense!"
Uglyfense, or fense as he liked to be called, came out of the woods. To describe his pyschial appernce, imagine if the nerd emoji was a human being, that's fense.
"Ha! That nerd is gonna make use fall asleep?" Jo said. "I'm not scared of him"
"Would you be more scared of me if I was double my height and double my weight?" Fense asked.
Suddenly, Jo instantly fell asleep. Everyone gasped. "That's right!" Chef said. "Fense here is the world champion in hypotheticals and what ifs, and they are known to instantly put people to sleep. So with him here, it's gonna be a real challenge!
Fense walked over to Beth, who was eating cookies. "What if those cookies used salt instead of sugar would you still like them?" Beth fell asleep.
Fense then walked over to Mike listening to Nickleback. "What if the band was called Dimestolen would you still listen to them?" Mike feel asleep.
Fense then went over to Josse, who was wanting gold. "What if the gold medal was actually made of choclate?" Josse feel asleep.
(Confessional)
Ripper: Man, for a nerd, this fense guy sure is powerful!
Fense: What if instead of an outhouse it was called an inwoods?
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Fense was making the campers fall asleep like flies with his hypotheticals and what if questions. Just then, Ripper had a funny idea.
"Hey guys!" Ripper said to the rest of the Sigma Gamer bros. "I'm gonna prank Cody!"
"That be so based and alfalfa pilled!" Lightning said
"I'm gonna film it and put it on my channel!" Chase said.
Ripper then walked up to Cody. "Excuse me Cody, but it seems you have gotten mustard on your shirt."
As Cody looked down at his shirt, Ripper pulled out his Ripper gun and shot Cody 732847327984375784375 times in the face. "YOU JUST GOT PRANKED NERD!" Ripper shouted, as all the other Sigma gamers laughed at Cody's failure. Millie took notice of Rippers epic chadness too.
(Confessional)
Millie: Wow, I never noticed it before, but Ripper is kinda based, especially when he beats up Cody!
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Chet and Lorenzo stood next to each other, hating each other.
"My favorite video game of all time is Halo 3 for the Xbox 360 and my favorite snack is Spicy Nacho Doritos and my favorite drink is Mountain Dew Code Red." They said at the same time, before turning to each other in shock.
"Woah, dude, you are based?!" Chet asked in shock and amazment.
"Yeah, you are based too?!" Lorenzo also asked.
"Yeah!" Chet said. "Wanna be best friends forever?" Chet asked his now chad stepbrother.
"Hell yeah!" Lorenzo said, as they were now best friends and sang the iconic step brothers song.
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Kitty and Scary Girl were sitting next to each other being High IQ scholars.
"SPAHGETTI!" Kitty informed.
"GAY WEEGE!" Scary Girl pondered.
"OVER 9000!" Kitty hypnotized.
"DO A BARREL ROLL!" Scary Girl Theorized.
"MAMA LUIGI!" Kitty concluded
"YOU MUST DIE!" Scary girl concurred, as they shook hands on their successful debate.
Meanwhile, MK and Julia were sitting next to each other.
"I'm evil," Julia said.
"As am I." Mk said.
They then began making out.
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It had been 47 years since the start of the challenge, and the only people still awak were Ripper, Zee, Chase, Sam, Lightning, Scott, and Mary. Fense had realized the sigma gamers would be too smart and handsome to fall for his hypotheticals, so he went up to Mary.
"If your name is Mary why aren't you married?" Fense asked, as Mary fell asleep.
"And the boys win!" Chef said, as the boys celebrated.
"Thank you for your help, Mr. Fense." Chef told fense.
"Can I steal your profile pic?" Fense asked.
"No." Chef said bluntly.
"Ahh mannnnnnnnnnn." Fense said.
"Thanks a lot Sparemy, thanks to you, we lost the challenge!" Amy said.
"But I di-" Sparemy said, thinking she was allowed to speak, but fortunatly she was beaten up by everyone else
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(Bonfire Ceremony)
All the girls were now at the campfire ceremony, with Sparemy now being in the trauma chair.
"Ok listen up girlies." Chef said. "I collected the votes and the person going home is...
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Carrie!" Chef said.
"DDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHO'S CARRIE?" Carrie said like an idiot moron.
"Shut up, bitch!" Chef said, as he threw Carrie off the island.
(Confessional)
Amy: You probably expected me to vote for Sparemy, but I wanted to keep her around to torture her, so I told everyone to vote for Carrie instead.
"Welp, another annoying loser bites the dust? Who will go next? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! DOMINATION!"
(BOOT ORDER)
100th: Tyler (DEAD)
99th: Lindsay (DEAD)
98th: Duncan
97th: Carrie
Merry Christmas nerds, here is some new Eli Cut. I voted out Carrie because she's stupid and I hate here!