"What?" Lily asked. Tears bubbling in her eyes. "Is that true Luna?" She asked.
"Lily..." I nodded.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell us?!" She yelled. She sat Gee down on the couch and she ran up to me. I expected her to slap me, punch me, kick me, but she didn't. She hugged me tight. "Why didn't you fucking tell me earlier?" She cried. Why is she crying? I was never there for her before this. Why is she crying?
"Lily, please don't- please don't cry." I stuttered. I suppose I don't have an excuse for crying myself. "Lily, don't cry,"
"Fuck off," She buried her head in my jacket. I placed my arms on her, returning the tight embrace she gave me. I looked at Crown, he looked at me. He sighed. He took his phone out and called someone. I didn't want to intrude so I looked at Lily. "Was that why you never came back?" She asked quietly, her face still buried deep in my jacket.
"I suppose it is one of the reasons."
"YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKING COME BACK!" She cried more.
"I'm sorry you had to find out about this. No one should've known about it." I said. My tears dried. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to burden you guys anymore."
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?!" Lily pulled away from the hug. "EVERYONE MISSED YOU LUNA! THE HOUSE WAS NEVER THE SAME WHEN YOU DISAPPEARED!"
"It's too late now for me,"
"FUCK THAT!" Lily screamed. "FUCK YOU! YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP! LISA IS A DOCTOR, SHE CAN FIX YOU UP! DON'T GIVE UP NOW LUNA! PLEASE!" Lily begged, she grabbed my hand and she clenched it hard. "Please, don't give up Luna." She cried. "Don't give up because you got a shitty divorce, please Luna," She cried. I looked at her. I saw the tears flowing down her eyes.
"I don't deserve to live, Lily," I said, my voice course and rough.
"WHY?! WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"
"I deserve to die like this Lily. I deserve to die-" She slapped me hard.
"IF THIS IS BECAUSE OF DAD, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU MYSELF! IT WAS IN THE PAST LUNA! YOU WERE A FUCKING IDIOT! STILL IS! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT FAMILY!" She hugged me tight. "YOU STONE FACED BITCH! WE'RE FAMILY!" She sobbed loudly. I suppose I deserve that.
"I'm sorry..."
"You better be..." Lily said as she wiped her tears away. She's not done yet, I know that much. She went to the couch and grabbed Gee. "I think Crown wants to talk to you... I'll just stay in my room." She looked at Crown, who's standing behind me. She went to her room. I turned around and I looked at him. Another one.
"Luna, can we cancel pub this Saturday?" Crown asked. That's understandable. At least someone here has a brain in this house. "What do you think about barbecue dinner? My cousin is gonna host it at my place, She got some German Wurst." He smiled. What? No. Fuck. "I mean, we can still go to the pub if you want, but I don't think Lily can get in." He said. "Don't get me wrong, it's still gonna be a date, we'll just sit a bit further from the others,"
"Why?" I blurted out. "Why do you still want to go out with me? There is no future with me in your life, I'll just be a burden to you," I said, please God, don't ruin his life.
"No, you won't. Besides, can I even be called a gentleman if I were to just give up on the girl of my dreams because she's a bit sick?"
"I'm a drug addict, I'm an alcoholic, I abandoned my family, I have nothing, I am filthy, what is there to love here?!" I yelled. "Find someone else, someone that would make your life happier, someone that isn't like me."
He walked closer to me, and he grabbed my right hand. "I want you,". I could feel my heartbeat jump around like a ballerina. What the fuck? I wanted to die that moment. But something deep in me told me to lean to him. But I couldn't. I don't to ruin another life. Plus, I smell like crap, I haven't showered. I don't want to cause someone else agony. I don't want that. He stared straight into my soul. Fuck. "Will you give me the chance to help unload your burdens?"
Fuck. I sighed. "Alright... Crown," I gave an awkward smile. I don't know what to feel. "Can you go now? I need to process this," It's not like I'm not grateful. But, I don't feel like using a rebound guy. That's low. Even for me.
Lori drove, her eyelids were getting heavier by the second. "Don't sleep yet. Not now idiot." She muttered. As fate decided that day, she fell asleep on the wheels. The car crashed to the side of the road, waking both Lincoln and Lori up. "Fuck!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Lincoln yelled as he stabbed the airbag in front of him with his flip knife. "LORI, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"
"I crashed." Lori replied.
"HOW?!"
"I microslept."
Lincoln unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. The front was absolutely wrecked. It was practically crushed by the pine tree in front of it. "FUCK!". The engine is destroyed. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Lincoln screamed. "HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GETTING TO HER NOW?!" Lincoln yelled at Lori who just went out of the car. "Fucking hell. This is gonna cost me a lot. I don't think my insurance cover this shit," He groaned. "I JUST GOT THAT CAR!"
"Hey, at least we crashed near civilization," Lori pointed at a signboard that says: "Pine Creek, 5 Miles"
"You owe me a new Mustang," Lincoln pointed at Lori. Fuck, he thought to himself. "Let's just grab our shit, I'll call a truck,"
"Already on it,"
I sat there on the dining table, eating the chocolate Crown gave us with Lily. Crown left a few moments ago. I don't want to ruin his life. I don't want to make another person cry. I already caused too much pain to others. That's all I know how to do. That's my entire fucking personality. The ruiner of lives. The harbinger of pain and suffering. Bad luck incarnate. Fuck it. I looked to my side and I saw Lily, red her eyes were. She must be hungry. "Hey Lils, you hungry?" I asked Lily as I shoved a cube of chocolate in my mouth.
"Yeah..." She answered weakly.
"Diner?"
"Sure..."
"Lily, are you alright? Please don't be sad,"
"How do you expect me to not be sad?" She asked, her voice slow and down. "I came here, expecting that you might be some abusive asshole now, I mean, the way media demonized you and all. But when I met you, you were actually a pretty cool bitch. And now that I actually get to know that cool bitch a lot more, I thought that maybe, I can finally have someone in the family that actually understand how lost I feel, how fucking unfair life is. But now, I found out that you, that pretty cool bitch, is dying. How can I not be sad? YOU DIDN'T CLOSE THE DOOR ON ME WHEN I KNOCKED THAT NIGHT." Lily cried. Her eyes tearing down. "Do you know how I got pregnant in the first fucking place?" I shook my head a no. "I was bullied, I was scorned at school because of some fucking rumor, and when I found a guy that I thought loved me dearly, he betrayed me. I thought he was my soulmate, and when I found out that I got pregnant, I told him but when I did he dumped me like trash. And do you know what he said to me?" Lily cried. "He said: It was just a fling. A FUCKING FLING." She cried. "And now you, ONE PERSON THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME RECONSIDER KILLING MYSELF IS DYING, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?!" She cried, her voice getting louder. "So, please Luna. Please. Don't give up,"
I sighed. "I'm sorry... sis..."
"Luna, we're family. Even if you're a bitch, you're still our bitch," She said with a smile. Her eyes red with tears. "Please, just try." I gave a slight nod. I don't know anymore. On one hand, I want to go back, I want to live, but on the other hand, I have to die alone and in agony, I have to face this punishment. I sighed.
I grabbed my wallet, I grabbed my cigarette case, I put my jacket on. "Let's go get breakfast," My voice emotionless, I said to Lily. She got up from the chair, and we went out the door. We walked down the road along the sidewalk, I see those kids jamming out in front of that abandoned theater again. I want to play like that. I miss those days. Smacking on metal dustbins like Chinese war drums, strumming a guitar with only 4 strings left. I miss that fun. It's not like it can happen again. "I don't know what's there for me out there, and I am too cowardly to know. I want to be loved, and I want to love, but that ship sailed to the sun long ago. You don't have to care about this dumb sister of yours, Lily," I smiled as I sat my arm around her shoulder. "Besides, when I'm gone, the house will be yours, you can sell it, you can live there if you want, though the property price of it is quite low-"
"Luna, do you think that I want to inherit your shit?"
"What do you mean?"
"I want you back in our lives, for a long time. I want you to live until your 60s, like most people in America do, you can't just accept the fact that you're gonna die in a few years!" Lily yelled, just as she finished her speech, we arrived in front of the diner. "What I'm trying to say is, please try. We have Lisa for God's sake, she did some surgery thing with that three conjoined baby from Vietnam, I'm pretty sure she can fix you too. You know Lisa's science-y brain, she can do everything."
I sighed. "Everyone's gonna die one day Lily, maybe this is just my time." I said. I looked at her, she sighed. "But, if it makes you happy, I suppose there's nothing wrong with trying," Lily looked at me and smiled.
"Fucking bitch made me cry for nothing..." She threw a light punch at me. "Thanks Luna."
"No, thank you."
We got in the diner, and what followed suit was a blur, but I do know that by the end of the day, we both knows that we have each other even if we fail. I suppose that's what siblings are for. That's what family is for. Fucking hell, what am I doing with my life?
"Fuck." Lincoln muttered. They arrived in Pine Creek. The sun is high above their head. He had called his wife Jordan on the way. She was worried to say the least. With no car, they decided to spend the night at an inn in the lonely town. There's a small used car dealership in town, Lincoln wanted to buy an emergency car, but he needed to wait for a bit. They couldn't continue the drive today. They need to rest. "I'm gonna go get lunch," Lincoln groaned as he walked down the stairs of the log inn. He sat on the wooden table and he grabbed the menu. He's hungry, and pissed. He ordered a pint of lager and a bowl of Mac n' Cheese. When the food arrived in front of him, he didn't waste a second before emptying the bowl.