Merry Christmas!
It's a short one but – I'm back!
xoxo

December 1995.

The castle buzzed with excitement as the Yule Ball approached. Festive decorations adorned every corner with anticipation hanging thick in the air. Students eagerly prepared for the grand event, chatting away. I was enchanted by the atmosphere. On a more somber note, Theo and I spent every Christmas in Cornwall with Father, and while I hoped being away from home would unite us, he was as avoidant as ever.

Amid the whirlwind of festive activities, my mind was torn between the excitement over the ball and the looming fear of the tournament challenge. Homework had piled up like a never-ending stack, and the unanswered riddle within the golden egg gnawed at me day and night. I had only opened it once, its screeching echo doing little to uncover the hidden clue. I could feel the weight of the ticking clock deep in my chest but continued to ignore it.

I sought a quiet moment away from my friends; Amelia was too preoccupied with her ball hysteria to notice and Graham quietly tried his best to avoid being caught in the crossfire of her huffing and puffing. The Owlery stood perched atop one of the castle's towers, a sanctuary of feathers and hushed conversations. My heart ached with longing, a feeling I had not experienced before.

As I climbed the spiralling staircase, my thoughts drifted to Romania. Would he come home for the Holidays? I pulled out some parchment and a quill.

Dear Charlie,

I hope Romania's winter is not too harsh.

Merry Christmas,
Rose

I attached the small brown package to the owl and gave its head a gentle scratch before releasing it into the brightly grey sky. I watched it fly away, knowing that if Charlie weren't home for the holidays, it would take the owl three days to reach him—barely enough time.

The castle was enchantingly beautiful under the gentle snowflakes. The soft crunch of snow accompanied me, trees draped in white sang a chorus with their faint rustling. The Black Lake, now covered in a delicate layer of ice, reflected the tranquility, while the castle's warm fires glowed from within its windows.

As the day faded into night, it transformed into a hazy dream of warmth, The Great Hall with its starry sky ceiling was filled with laughter as students gathered by the fireside near the Christmas trees. Candlelit corridors hummed with mystery, and every corner held a certain dash of mystery. Even in the hush of winter, magic pulsed within the castle's walls.

—

While roaming the dungeons to find Theodore on the morning of Christmas Day, I held the neatly wrapped package tightly in my arms. I saw him sneak away from the common room mere minutes ago, how could he have already gotten out of my reach?

I skipped from door to door, checking every hidden crevice all while getting more frustrated with every failed attempt. I rushed into the last room only to be disappointed again, it was a small bathroom near the potions classroom that I had forgotten existed at this point. I let out a sigh.

"Ooh our champion, all alone," a voice purred behind me and I turned around quickly, startled by Moaning Myrtle's ghastly face barely inches away from mine.

"Oh—" my voice creaked, "Hello, Myrtle."

She floated around me like a cat eyeing its prey, "You are all flushed, are you running away from someone?"

"No, I'm actually looking for someone." I turned to leave when a thought struck me. "Say Myrtle, you didn't happen upon my brother lately?"

She shrugged and flashed me an unnerving smile. "The sixth-floor boys' bathroom is where he usually sulks."

I thanked her and headed to the sixth floor. The hallways were dimly lit with rays of sun breaking through the thick clouds and reflecting off the frosted windows, the suits of armour still quietly humming carols, most students seemed to keep to their dormitories as it was less crowded than usual.

I let my mind wander into a daydream, picturing what it would be like for Charlie to come home for Christmas. The image of him walking through the doors of a decorated house, his warm smile lighting up the room, it all played out in my imagination. I imagined the chaos that would ensue, the entire family gathered around a table, laughter echoing through a cozy kitchen.

Charlie, with his rugged charm and tales of dragons, he would tell stories of his adventures in Romania. The fire would crackle, casting a warm glow on his wide eyed siblings. Suddenly, my imagination wandered and I was sitting beside him. I was dressed in a knitted jumper, ruffling his hair while his younger brothers snickered. His mother adored me of course and would shriek at how thin I was, stuffing my plate with more food.

My thought drifted to my father, alone. He would be sitting in his study in the chair near the fire. My heart ached, I didn't want to imagine him alone. He would probably join one of his friends for a dinner party, but my thought drifted again to the empty manor as he returned home. I wrapped the package closer to my chest and started walking faster and with more determination.

I had to find Theo. We had to reconcile.

As I got closer to the bathroom, I heard Theo whispering. It was strange so I instinctively slowed down, a strange wave of curiosity filled me with anticipation.

Their words were too muffled for me to understand, but it sounded serious. The air around the bathroom felt strange, like something was off. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the door.

"Theo, it's not fair to anyone," the voice said, it sounding heavy.

It was Adrian.

Theodore mumbled something back. The hallway, usually just a regular hallway, now seemed like it was hiding a big secret. I felt intoxicated, and as the voices from the bathroom got louder, I didn't know if I should keep listening or go away. But then, something unexpected happened. Their arguing turned into a quiet moment, and I heard the sound of a kiss.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't even breathe.

Was this the big secret?!

I managed to back away, hiding against the cold wall so they wouldn't see me. The nice thoughts of Christmas and daydreams about Charlie were gone. Now, I had to deal with the complicated storm happening in my family. Still unnoticed, I tried to understand what I just saw.

The present I got for Theo felt really small now, like it couldn't fix the problems between us. The Yule Ball, which was supposed to be fun, now felt heavy with secrets and the challenge of making things right. I was not supposed to know this, not before he himself told me and I felt immense guilt because there was nothing that I could do to fix this.

Feeling a surge of fear, I tried to sneak away from the door. My heart pounded loudly in my chest, and the one step I took away from the bathroom felt like a deafening echo in the silent hallway.

However, just as I thought I might slip away unnoticed, the bathroom door swung open loudly. Theo stepped out, his eyes instantly locking onto mine with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine. The surprise and betrayal on his face quickly turned into anger.

"What were you doing here, Rose?" he shouted, his voice sharp and accusing.

I stammered, attempting to find the right words, but the lump in my throat seemed to grow with each passing second. The weight of the secret I unintentionally stumbled upon pressed down on me, and I felt a mix of guilt and vulnerability.

Theodore's eyes bore into mine, searching for an explanation that I struggled to provide.

"I—I didn't mean to," I finally managed to utter, but my words hung in the air, insufficient to dispel the tension.

Theodore's frustration boiled over, and he clenched his fists. "Can't you just mind your own business for once?"

Adrian stepped out, probably confused by the shouting. Then, he saw me.

"Fuck."

I saw red.

"Myfucking brother?!" I didn't know why I was angry, but I kept doing it, hitting him with Theo's gift while he was trying to shield his face with his arms, "It's. All. Your. Fault!"

"I told you she wouldn't understand."

Theo's words did it, cutting through me, and the weight of his anger pressed down on my shoulders. I stood frozen. Without waiting for my response, Theo stormed off down the corridor, and Adrian left in the opposite direction.

Alone in the dimly lit corridor, doing my best to grapple with the aftermath of a truth that wasn't meant for me to uncover. I sank onto the cold floor, wrapping my arms around my knees.

Tears streamed down my face.

I wept.

I wept for my father, left alone during the holidays.

I wept for my brother, silently grappling with his struggles for weeks, or perhaps even longer.

And I wept for myself, because never before had the weight of profound loneliness pressed so heavily on my heart.